Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
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eddfromtheriver
Banned
smokeandmirrors
Banned
I do, I just don't have time at the moment.
It's the neoGAF one. We don't have a special depGAF one.
Freeza Under The Shower
Member
I want to play tf2 with you guys.
Edit: Dang it first post. Here are some swimming piglets.
aaaawww. that's surprisingly adorable.
also: chrome's spell checker suggests Kwanzaa for 'aaaawww'. Hit it, Kwanzaa bot!
Collete
Member
There isn't a DepGAF TF2 server. Just a GAF TF2 server.
Femmeworth
Banned
I'm in contact with another person through a dating site. *fingers crossed* This lead might actually go somewhere.
I'm crossing my fingers and toes for ya!
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Getting yelled at! Walking on egg shells! All on what I consider the worst day of the week.... Sunday! Fuck yeah!
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I think I have a binge eating disorder. I've gained like 10 pounds in three weeks in response to stress. I eat even when I'm not hungry to the point of feeling the need to puke. I've had this problem before, but this is the worst it's been in 5 years.
Various Artists
Banned
I think I gotta ask my psychiatrist NOT to prescribe me any more meds. They dont work and then I abuse them which makes me feel worse. I should probably be locked up for like a decade but it would ruin the rest of my life. (kidding, kind of)
Various Artists
Banned
I know this sounds dumb but could you take a walk whenever you want to eat those doritos or something instead?
Various Artists
Banned
Where you at? If its in the north east I have a handful of duders that I could try and hook you up with that are totally cool.
Disorder: Stuff not following the logical, expected order or norm.
I had this a bit in the past (when I had a higher metabolism) and it caught up with me a few years back. I make a point of cutting certain types of foods out of my diet (dairy, gluten-based carbs, white potatoes, corn, most sugar- all are not that great for you) and never keeping them around the house. I also try to go for a run, even if it's just a short run, every day. And really long ones if I skip a day. Preferably every other day. I started with short runs occasionally and built myself up. Maybe running isn't your thing but if you can make good dietary and snacking changes and find something active you like doing, if can really help. Cutting down on sugar and carbs fors a while can even change your perception of taste. Sweet stuff I used to like is WAY too sweet now and I've come to like healthier alternatives I've found.
Mind you, I'm not rigidly strict with all of this. I eat things I "shouldn't" still, usually in response to stress, boredom and lonliness. In fact, even though I've been going for runs much more and for longer, I've gained 5 pounds in about a week when I gave into sweet tooth and carb cravings a lot. When my bf is away and I'm alone at home I'm more prone to this. If you live with someone, see if they're interested in trying some new foods and making a dietary change or two. I find it much easier when someone in the house wants to keep excessive junk food out of the house and share healthier meals.
Also, enough water and a regular sleep schedule keeps the body from going into "stress mode" where it wants to hold onto weight. Water helps with all body functions, including weight loss. Drink up!
Ah yes, comfort eating, I have been there. Done a fair bit myself when I was at one of my lowest life stages so far. For me, it got to a point were I could really see what I was doing to my body, and that I was just going to feel even worse about myself if I continued with that. So I began to cut down my intake at a slow rate, as drastic changes to what, and how much you eat is more likely to end up in failure.
So overtime, I got to a point were I just ate when I felt I need to, and have stuck to it since. Once your stomach adapts, it becomes much easier. At the time, I did simple exercises too and chose to do them when I got to my low points, served as a good distraction and a speedier way to shed the weight. But when you do get overwhelmed, try and direct that need for stress relief onto something else. Go for a walk, watch a movie, play a game, anything that will direct your mind away from food. It will be tricky at first, but you will adjust if you commit to that change, and you will have the pay off of looking and feeling better.
Femmeworth
Banned
Thanks, but I'm in Texas.
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
Hey guys, thought I'd stop by and post an update:
This is not a good update. In fact, this is probably the worst thing that could be happening since my stay at the hospital. I've been off my medication for a few months now, hoping I'd do well without it. I'd stopped seeing my therapist and for a while, things seemed good. I was happy and functioning without medication. The past few weeks, however... Things have taken a bad turn. In fact, when I think back on it, things have been getting worse for months. My mood is extremely inconsistent. I go from happy to sad, from joyful to irritated, within seconds for no apparent reason. My level of motivation has lowered significantly. I have trouble engaging in and contributing to conversation. I'm shorter in conversation and generally more rude and less enjoyable to talk with/be around. Anxiety is a pressing issue with nearly every god damn thing now. Phone calls alone give me bouts of anxiety and heart palpitations. I'm becoming who I was before I'd admitted myself to the hospital, all because I thought I could do it without my medication.
It has become apparent and, by now, without saying that I'll need to live on medication for a very long time in order to be normal. My brain requires the balance the medication brings, and without it, it's a mess. The hope I'd had after leaving the hospital was simple: to take medication until I felt good and wean myself off. Well, this didn't quite go as planned, and my depression isn't something temporary as I'd suspected early on. My therapist, when I'd brought up going off my medication, was approving of my decision but I feel he's merely testing me and whether or not I'm truly depressed. It would explain why he'd mentioned telling the staff to keep my name in the system. He knew there was a chance I'd relapse, and I am relapsing.
The pending thoughts of not wanting to live have become pressing in the back of my mind the past few weeks. These thoughts I've been fighting off for so long have returned, only because of my irresponsibility and carelessness with the medication. I'm ashamed of myself for working so hard and putting myself in the hospital just to have me go back to where I was.
I'll soon contact my therapist and psychiatrist to set up appointments. I'll start having counseling sessions again, and I'll take my medication regularly like I'm supposed to. Please, if you're fighting depression, don't go off your medication like I did. It feels horrible... To see and feel how it would to be happy and normal, and have it stripped away. I apologize for the rant.
This is not a good update. In fact, this is probably the worst thing that could be happening since my stay at the hospital. I've been off my medication for a few months now, hoping I'd do well without it. I'd stopped seeing my therapist and for a while, things seemed good. I was happy and functioning without medication. The past few weeks, however... Things have taken a bad turn. In fact, when I think back on it, things have been getting worse for months. My mood is extremely inconsistent. I go from happy to sad, from joyful to irritated, within seconds for no apparent reason. My level of motivation has lowered significantly. I have trouble engaging in and contributing to conversation. I'm shorter in conversation and generally more rude and less enjoyable to talk with/be around. Anxiety is a pressing issue with nearly every god damn thing now. Phone calls alone give me bouts of anxiety and heart palpitations. I'm becoming who I was before I'd admitted myself to the hospital, all because I thought I could do it without my medication.
It has become apparent and, by now, without saying that I'll need to live on medication for a very long time in order to be normal. My brain requires the balance the medication brings, and without it, it's a mess. The hope I'd had after leaving the hospital was simple: to take medication until I felt good and wean myself off. Well, this didn't quite go as planned, and my depression isn't something temporary as I'd suspected early on. My therapist, when I'd brought up going off my medication, was approving of my decision but I feel he's merely testing me and whether or not I'm truly depressed. It would explain why he'd mentioned telling the staff to keep my name in the system. He knew there was a chance I'd relapse, and I am relapsing.
The pending thoughts of not wanting to live have become pressing in the back of my mind the past few weeks. These thoughts I've been fighting off for so long have returned, only because of my irresponsibility and carelessness with the medication. I'm ashamed of myself for working so hard and putting myself in the hospital just to have me go back to where I was.
I'll soon contact my therapist and psychiatrist to set up appointments. I'll start having counseling sessions again, and I'll take my medication regularly like I'm supposed to. Please, if you're fighting depression, don't go off your medication like I did. It feels horrible... To see and feel how it would to be happy and normal, and have it stripped away. I apologize for the rant.
smokeandmirrors
Banned
I'm tired of being stressed out. It's october and I'm already freaking out over the amount of work I have. This would be easily remedied if I actually planned things better but damnit I am stuck in this: Feel stressed -> ignore what's causing it -> procrastinate with what's causing it -> stay up late and get little sleep while finishing whatever is due ->repeat
I regret nothing!
Going off medication can be a sneaky bugger. If you were taking it regularly, it's built up in your system to therapeutic levels over a period of time. So even when you wean yourself off of it, unless it has an extremely low half-life, you still feel okay for a while after as it slowly breaks down and starts to completely remove itself from your body.
As hard as it is, you're doing great in noticing these things and acting on them. I had a huge problem with medication for years and would never really stick with anything due to certain types of side effects I would not tolerate and a general unwillingness to keep trying different medications. I went in and out of the hospital the first time I had serious problems many, many times because a) I was fairly functional, despite my issues, so the mental health wing at the hospital had no issues sending me out to make room for more seriously ill people and b) because once I felt a bit better on whatever pill they had sent me off with, I slowly (or sometimes abruptly) stopped taking it once I felt more normal or when certain bad side effects kicked in at around a month of use.
The Strokes
Banned
It's good to read stories like yours, that show that there's a way out of this.
Thank you for sharing!
Is it a common feeling amongst people who suffer from depression or anxiety to feel like you're constantly comparing yourself to others? Because I literally can't stop feeling that way. What can I do to reaffirm the belief that I'm actually an okay person and that I don't need to be like someone else who is more well liked, more cared for, to be happy? And is it common to feel like you can't really be happy for others?
<3 you guys. And that is a completely accurate greeting Bagels.
Yeps! Haven't met anyone yet who didn't have this I-suck-compared-to-others-thing to one degree or another yet. I don't know how it is with anyone else but I either keep reciting a mantra ("I am awesome I am awesome I am awesome") to myself or try to do activities where I know I am/was better in than the average person. Keeps you busy and when you complete it, it gives you a morale boost. Win-win. Not really familiar with the can't-be-happy-for-others. Can't-really-care-about-others sure, but not happy.
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
I have to wait two weeks to get back on my medication. This is going to be hell...
Absolutely. People bring this stuff up all the time in here. Comparing yourself to others is always going to be a ridiculous exercise. You have to remember that, especially on social media, people tend to carefully curate every comment and picture to present an idealized view of themselves. When we compare ourselves to others, we tend to compare their best characteristics to our worst.
MH-GAF/depGAF is unique in that we don't expect to see the best sides of each other. Quite the opposite - our first exposure to someone new tends to be a detailed account of how shit their life seems. That shared experience of suffering tends to make us all unusually close. It's amazing, because I do not feel pressure to be the best version of myself. Dear friends like FillerB not only put up with my less-than-best sides, they make me feel like hey actually like me more for being a complete person with highs and lows. Take strength from that.
I was just telling people yesterday how I was enjoying getting to know you better on twitter and in PMs. I don't actually have a lot of patience for just anyone. I try to be honest with you guys, so if I'm talking to you, it's not just me being nice; I actually do like you.
If you guys don't know FillerB, find him on IRC some time! He'll get you with his dry wit, and then he'll turn around and give you some of the best advice, for whatever is bothering you, that you've ever heard.
Also, we're having a fashion battle involving wearing our cats on our heads. Join us.
Hang in there, Turtle! Good to hear from you, even if the news isn't great. We've got your back during this crappy time. <3
Collete
Member
You're going to get through this at the end though.
So, I suspect my sister may have schizophrenia. She recently lost her job and moved back in with my parents. The main symptom is extreme paranoia that a guy she dated is not stalking her and getting others (co-workers, family members, etc.) to do things to her that are "experiments" so see how she reacts. For example, she said a bunch of co-workers all wore red one day and then all went to the bathroom at the same time to see how she would react. She texted me the other day to "quit talking to him" when I've never even met the guy. She also journals everything she perceives as things he is doing to stalk her, and has been reading books about personality disorders obsessively and diagnosing her ex, my mother, etc. as narcissistic personalities and that they are the cause of why she is going through a hard time.
The problem is whenever I question what she says she freaks out that she's not crazy and that we all just hate her and don't support her like a family should. My dad was ready to get her locked up the other night after she broke a few things during an argument since he thinks she might start getting violent, but I'd like to avoid doing something against her will even if it's only for 24hrs or whatever.
Called a psychiatrist today to see if I could make an appointment and go in with her, but I guess she's the only one that can make an appointment since I'm not a legal guardian. Not really sure how to proceed since I'm not sure I can convince her to make an appointment on her own. Only thing I can think of is have my parents give her an ultimatum that they'll kick her out or do some mandatory lock up thing next time she freaks out...
The problem is whenever I question what she says she freaks out that she's not crazy and that we all just hate her and don't support her like a family should. My dad was ready to get her locked up the other night after she broke a few things during an argument since he thinks she might start getting violent, but I'd like to avoid doing something against her will even if it's only for 24hrs or whatever.
Called a psychiatrist today to see if I could make an appointment and go in with her, but I guess she's the only one that can make an appointment since I'm not a legal guardian. Not really sure how to proceed since I'm not sure I can convince her to make an appointment on her own. Only thing I can think of is have my parents give her an ultimatum that they'll kick her out or do some mandatory lock up thing next time she freaks out...
Couple of replies already, but wanted to add something as well. It is a pretty common thing with depression. You don't feel good about yourself, and you see others doing well and having certain skills and you think "what the fuck do I have going for me?" It's something I battle with quite a bit. I get periods were I feel like I can add nothing of value anywhere, and feel generally miserable. It's a warped perception really, all you see is the good in others, despite the fact they have their faults like anyone else. And you apply the opposite to yourself, picking at all the bad and ignoring the good.
Despite what your brain thinks at the time, it's a lot of nonsense. The vast majority of people have some quality to them that can of use/appealing to others. Just think about the people you chat with at the moment, if you had nothing to offer, they wouldn't even give you the time of day. As for the happy for others stuff, it comes back to the first bit, you feeling like you're doing nothing in comparison. If it's someone close to me, I like to see it as a group success. Someone dear to you has had something positive happen to better their lives. That's a good thing. And it isn't the worlds way of rubbing it in your face, and it doesn't mean nothing good will happen for you.
Don't worry little clam, I'll help you. *Throws Wilson back in the water*
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
Yeah, I mistook the medication's positive effects as me simply getting better so I thought I could do without them. I also am supposed to take anti-anxiety medication but it made me feel so sedated and tired that I stopped. Figures, too, since my anxiety levels are through the roof nowadays. Can't even handle phone calls anymore. I'll have to stick to an anti-depressant regiment for a long time I'm guessing.
Thanks! At times I feel alone and as if I'm battling this on my own. Haven't gotten much support aside from my parents. Coming here and reading posts makes me feel a little more connected.
It feels like such a roller coaster. I was good for a few months. REALLY good. Now I'm back to where I was. I'm hoping consistent medication consumption is the answer, which I'm sure it is. Thanks for the optimism. I appreciate it a lot.
Femmeworth
Banned
Looks like I have a tentative date! :O Just have to iron out the specifics.
smokeandmirrors
Banned
Fuck being sick, fuck allergies, fuck me and my no-motivation, fuck it all. Someone should be miserable with me.
*high-five* Joining you in the no-motivation, fuck it all feeling
I feel sick but it's just lousy under-the-weather feeling, nothing specific.
And congrats Femmeworth!
Collete
Member
Fuck being sick, fuck allergies, fuck me and my no-motivation, fuck it all. Someone should be miserable with me.
I'll be miserable with you two. whee...
This world is just merciless...
Dr_Boris_Goltz
Banned
I'm in a real bad way... I know something is wrong with my brain right now. People think I use depression as an excuse but I don't know.
I'm lazy as all hell... I just want to do nothing all day. That's what I want from life. Do nothing then die, or bring death on myself, either way.
I've never felt right about anything in life, never had a dream, never had aspirations. I never saw any professions and thought, "that's what I want to do!"
I jump from thing to thing trying to find an easy way out, one that doesn't involve work that somehow supports me... I'm a piece of shit basically. I make excuses, crave pity, and try to figure out why I am the way I am...
I can't tell you how many times I've been told to "man up" throughout my life. I've heard it so often it just floats right on by.
I'm lazy as all hell... I just want to do nothing all day. That's what I want from life. Do nothing then die, or bring death on myself, either way.
I've never felt right about anything in life, never had a dream, never had aspirations. I never saw any professions and thought, "that's what I want to do!"
I jump from thing to thing trying to find an easy way out, one that doesn't involve work that somehow supports me... I'm a piece of shit basically. I make excuses, crave pity, and try to figure out why I am the way I am...
I can't tell you how many times I've been told to "man up" throughout my life. I've heard it so often it just floats right on by.
i'm finding it very hard to deal with my depression seeming to still get worse about a year on from accepting i had a problem and starting seeking help. i always try so hard to keep thinking that i've surely bottomed out and that despite everything the only way is up and that my treatment will start to really work any day now and i'm making the right choices and just think of the good days and it can still get better but after a few false dawns now i'm down to basically having one or two "good" days a month and the idea of getting better and returning to the person i was pre-illness is starting to seem incredibly distant.
For a start, ignore what these people say. Depression isn't something you just "choose" to have, doesn't work that way. It is common ignorance for those that haven't had anything more than a "down day" to associate it with. You aren't alone with those issues, I too have had a tough time of that. I've never had a particular skill or passion were its been a case of "I'm really good at this, and I like what I'm doing" So I've been pretty confused as to what to do with myself. I hope to get to a point were I'm at least okay mental health wise, and can actively try different things, already have some things in mind now.
For me, my way out was sticking with a college course I had no passion for, and not much interest. I should of left earlier, but didn't want to be doing nothing and feel like I had been a failure. And during that time, were I struggled greatly was when I realized my issues were very much valid, and badly needed support. I've took the steps I've had to, now it's just a waiting game for when I get my therapy appointment. I recommend you do the same, to look into what therapy options are available to you. Not sure where you're from, so can't suggest anything exact.
But remember that the problems you have are very much valid, as valid as any other illness. Just because it isn't physical, it doesn't make it any less important. I really do hope you look into your options, it doesn't always have to be like this.
Lionheart1827
Member
Velcro Fly
Member
I just get the feeling that my family has given up on me. I gave up on myself a long time ago but if they've given up on me too I'm not sure where I go from there. I overheard my dad saying some pretty bad stuff about me. I kinda feel like today is the day where everything starts to go downhill for me. You look back in 6 or 8 months and you can pinpoint this as the day where it all began to unravel. Even worse I'm taking it out on my family I guess. Am I not supposed to be upset people are talking bad about me? I've done nothing but cry for the past hour. I'm just done I think.
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