Tried to make the most of my day today but for the most part it seemed like a constant reminder that I don't really matter to anyone. When you go out to work or classes or whatever it is you do, and you come back or you go with friends, it's supposed to even out. But I don't feel any real difference between the two. I feel like I have just as much of an impact in my own social circles as I do in the world (which, realistically, is pretty minor), and that hurts.
Mental Health |OT2| - Light in the Darkness
- Thread starter Bagels
- Start date
- Status
We don't interact as much as we did (now that FakeGAF has thus expired) but I always thought you were a cool dude. I'm sorry that you're suffering (and understand how you feel, especially feeling disconnected from friends).
It didn't really expire so much as moved, but thank you.
Stress is once again building up on me to a point I don't know if I can take it. My dog now has a infection in her mouth and it's not getting better and possibly has lymphoma. Now have financial issues going on again that are not of my making and I can distance myself from but would ultimately lead to me being homeless if I didn't help. I want to just run away and start over somewhere else.
EchoChamber
Member
I think I need help, my mental health has been deteriorating over time, I don't know if is only stress,anxiety,depression or all of them at the same time, I feel totally hopeless, I try to do my best but I just I don't have the enough will power to do something, I don't care anymore about anything, I feel like shit everyday, the only way I can rest of this nightmare is sleeping I just want to sleep so I can have peace.
I don't know if anything I wrote make sense, but I had enough of feeling like this and I want to do something about it but I don't know how
I don't know if anything I wrote make sense, but I had enough of feeling like this and I want to do something about it but I don't know how
Today was one of those days that took me from "I think I'm getting better" to "I will never get better because I fucking suck"
So I'm getting drunk about it. Sometimes I wish I could just kill myself and be done with everything, but my mom and dad would be too sad if I did so there's no way I will. I guess I just have to keep trying to improve my life and myself, even if it means I'll take some massive L's in the meantime. Hope everyone else is doing ok, and hope this thread isn't the wrong place for my rant.
So I'm getting drunk about it. Sometimes I wish I could just kill myself and be done with everything, but my mom and dad would be too sad if I did so there's no way I will. I guess I just have to keep trying to improve my life and myself, even if it means I'll take some massive L's in the meantime. Hope everyone else is doing ok, and hope this thread isn't the wrong place for my rant.
I know feeling that very well. I don't think you should try and drown your sorrows in alcohol though, that's not going to get you anywhere. If you really want to take your mind off of things, I suggest exercise.
You're always free to talk about your issues here btw. Everyone has different problems but at the end of the day we're all struggling to get through life.
Hey guys,
First time writing here. Not even sure from where I need to start but today is one of those days when I feel so down I'm not even sure what to do anymore. Since beginning of the week all I think is commit suicide.
Little backround here - I'm probably a shyest person, dealing with depression and anxiety for a long time. Most of time I didn't even tried to do anything, basically just ignoring it. There were ups and downs through a time but nothing this major. Tried to seek some help in my area but everything is too expensive or too far away.
Maybe u guys know some helplines or people talk to online?
First time writing here. Not even sure from where I need to start but today is one of those days when I feel so down I'm not even sure what to do anymore. Since beginning of the week all I think is commit suicide.
Little backround here - I'm probably a shyest person, dealing with depression and anxiety for a long time. Most of time I didn't even tried to do anything, basically just ignoring it. There were ups and downs through a time but nothing this major. Tried to seek some help in my area but everything is too expensive or too far away.
Maybe u guys know some helplines or people talk to online?
There's a bunch of suicide hotlines numbers in the OP, if you're having suicidal thoughts right now. If you need to talk to people, you could try 7cups. I occasionally use it when I'm feeling really down. Of course, you could also post here (or use private messages) and talk in greater detail about what you're struggling with if you feel like it.
Sorry you're having a hard time man. Dunno if it will help you but the mentality which helped me was along the lines of: "It doesn't matter how much you get from people (could be their time/attention/love whatever), what matters most is how much you give to people."
Have actually learned to enjoy solitude now, since it gives me time to improve my skills, which might someday be used to benefit others. Hope this way of thinking can help you and anyone else having difficulty with loneliness. It's not ideal to measure a person's worth by the number of friends they have.
Thanks.
I can see wisdom in what you said. You're right about measuring a person's worth. Hell, I probably shouldn't be measuring people's worth at all since I just keep comparing myself to others and always end up hating myself.
My crap self-esteem and loneliness keep feeding off each other and this leads to this vicious cycle that's very difficult to break. It's something I'm trying to work on.
My dog was euthanized earlier today and I am feeling so lost and empty right now. This hurt is right up there with when I lost my dad when I was younger. She had been with me for for so long every day and now she won't be anymore. I've been doing relatively okay with my mental health as of late but this has just about negated all the good work I've done it feels like.
So, two weeks ago, I was at a very low point. I felt anxious and everything was too much. I ended up becoming very passive at work and people noticed I wasn't my regular self because I talked less etc...
And then last week I suddenly was able to beat the thoughts. I didn't know why but it's like I suddenly had the strength and it was like all those irrational thoughts vanished and my mind was no longer able to overthink everything. I felt great but also weird beause I went from having severe suicidal thoughts to my normal self again.
But NOW I am back in the anxious state again. Not as severe as two weeks ago but it's still pretty bad. I'm a little less passive but I am still very depressed. It's just... weird. And I hate it because again I am overthinking everything. I even get sad when I think back to last week because I remember how happy I was and now I feel like shit again.
It's a vicious cycle and I don't know how much more I can take.
And then last week I suddenly was able to beat the thoughts. I didn't know why but it's like I suddenly had the strength and it was like all those irrational thoughts vanished and my mind was no longer able to overthink everything. I felt great but also weird beause I went from having severe suicidal thoughts to my normal self again.
But NOW I am back in the anxious state again. Not as severe as two weeks ago but it's still pretty bad. I'm a little less passive but I am still very depressed. It's just... weird. And I hate it because again I am overthinking everything. I even get sad when I think back to last week because I remember how happy I was and now I feel like shit again.
It's a vicious cycle and I don't know how much more I can take.
I'm really sorry for your loss.
Mastermind Vade
Banned
How did you guys go about loneliness in high school?
Teriyaki Blues
Member
Join a club. My kid is in high school and they have after school clubs once a week with late busses for club attendees. They have anime club, Nintendo/video game playing club, creative writing club, etcetera, so you may even be able to find something non-academic that'll help you make friends if you're not into Sports, Chess, or Mathletics. If you're LGBT+, see if your school has a GLAAD chapter.
School's out for the summer right now in the US, so if you live in another region? Not sure. Is it something you could talk to a guidance counselor about?
I definitely do not recommend how I handed it.
opticalmace
Member
Am reading. What are the things you like to do that you probably aren't doing anymore? Maybe try to see if you can focus on that to bring some joy back. What are your favourite hobbies (present or past)?
I'm not sure what I can say that'll make you feel better but I am reading.
Glad to hear about your progress over the years!
I was feeling really bad at work today. The loneliness was really hammering away at me and I was getting so stressed out that I was starting to have difficulty focusing on my work. After work, I asked someone I've been chatting with for several years if I could talk to her as I was seriously not feeling well. I always thought we weren't really friends because we had only talked to each other online and had never actually met in real life. But then she said she really considered me to be an important friend and that I really mattered to her.
As someone who has always been alone for most of his life and had always thought that it was impossible for other people to like me, hearing someone says that I mattered felt really good. I broke down in tears when I read that.
As someone who has always been alone for most of his life and had always thought that it was impossible for other people to like me, hearing someone says that I mattered felt really good. I broke down in tears when I read that.
Secret Fawful
Member
I'm tired.
My anxiety, paranoia, and loneliness have me at the point where I don't want to try to fit in anywhere or fight anymore. Everywhere I go people hate me, ignore me, forget I exist, or treat me like a freak.
I don't want to see a psychologist. I don't want help. I don't want a friend. I just want a straight, no-bullshit answer. Why is it worth it for someone like me to continue suffering? People asking me to continue on with this bullshit isn't them trying to reason with me, it's selfish idealistic bullshit. "Oh, woe is ME. I'm Fawful's family. I don't want to feel bad." Well, I FEEL BAD, MOTHERFUCKERS! ME! For once, I want to care about ME!
So why? I don't want bullshit answers like "Life has meaning and life is special". And right now I don't give a FUCKING SHIT how it makes others feel. I care about how I FEEL.
What do I get out of continuing this worthless misery? What's in it for ME?
My anxiety, paranoia, and loneliness have me at the point where I don't want to try to fit in anywhere or fight anymore. Everywhere I go people hate me, ignore me, forget I exist, or treat me like a freak.
I don't want to see a psychologist. I don't want help. I don't want a friend. I just want a straight, no-bullshit answer. Why is it worth it for someone like me to continue suffering? People asking me to continue on with this bullshit isn't them trying to reason with me, it's selfish idealistic bullshit. "Oh, woe is ME. I'm Fawful's family. I don't want to feel bad." Well, I FEEL BAD, MOTHERFUCKERS! ME! For once, I want to care about ME!
So why? I don't want bullshit answers like "Life has meaning and life is special". And right now I don't give a FUCKING SHIT how it makes others feel. I care about how I FEEL.
What do I get out of continuing this worthless misery? What's in it for ME?
RoyaleDuke
Banned
So I did the thing I was supposed to do, I put out my book.
It does nothing just like everything I've tried in my life I've failed.
I've failed and I don't see the point in finishing my books because it won't lift me from my blues, it won't save me from my sociopathic parents. It won't save me from my shitty life.
Tonight, I think is the night I probably end up killing myself. I don't have anything to do it with besides some dull knives but you know it is kind of funny that you can't afford to live but you can't afford to die.
How fucking shit is that?
How is it fair that I get to be miserable, joyless. I'm so sick of people telling me it gets better and it never does, it never has. Just bullshit after bullshit fucking situation my parents don't respect me, don't even care about my problems.
I'm stuck in a life I don't want and I can't ever escape, what's worse if I do kill myself, it solves nothing. Then God gets to laugh and spit in your face as he sends you off to hell then there is no retribution.
But I don't know how long I can keep doing this. I can't take it anymore. There is no point to anything.
It does nothing just like everything I've tried in my life I've failed.
I've failed and I don't see the point in finishing my books because it won't lift me from my blues, it won't save me from my sociopathic parents. It won't save me from my shitty life.
Tonight, I think is the night I probably end up killing myself. I don't have anything to do it with besides some dull knives but you know it is kind of funny that you can't afford to live but you can't afford to die.
How fucking shit is that?
How is it fair that I get to be miserable, joyless. I'm so sick of people telling me it gets better and it never does, it never has. Just bullshit after bullshit fucking situation my parents don't respect me, don't even care about my problems.
I'm stuck in a life I don't want and I can't ever escape, what's worse if I do kill myself, it solves nothing. Then God gets to laugh and spit in your face as he sends you off to hell then there is no retribution.
But I don't know how long I can keep doing this. I can't take it anymore. There is no point to anything.
Astral Dog
Member
This really gets me because im sure most people that suffered depression asked themselves the same question.and true,there is NO easy answer to give,no matter how hard we try in the end is it about ourselves.you and only you can work to find hapiness and value because there is a lot in the world.be with other people,your family or on your own but you also need the willingness to try and see beyond the fakery that our mind creates,the flaws that our loved ones put behinds us and see the real consciousness that is you.
Sorry man
Remember there are people that care about you.here and around you.even on the endless abyss we ask ourselves if we failed on life when in reality there isn't something to fail at,just bullshit ideas that make us hurt ourselves. that you feel worthy inside despite everything is a valuable feeling don't you think?
Happiness. Though like Sub Boss said, how you find and obtain that happiness is all up to you. I'd like to know, what have you tried so far in order find happiness? And why do you think that the things you tried haven't worked so far? Maybe you've simply been approaching this from a wrong angle.
Isn't it a bit early to already call your book a failure if you've only just published it? Who knows, it might just become a best seller! What is your book called? I'd like to look it up.
Secret Fawful
Member
I probably have, and when I last came to this thread I was told to see a new psychologist. Another person has told me to try corrective therapy.
But in my life, I've pursued things I love doing with bare recognition for it. My family is full of bigots and cruel people or just ignorant people and I can't escape because I can't take care of myself on my own. My friends all live far away from me, and I don't have the means to make friends close or don't want to. Either my town is full of assholes, or people look at me like a freak and treat me weird. People are averse to me almost instantly. I can't drive due to my anxiety. I can't hold a steady job due to my anxiety and inability to remember tasks. My life is basically made up of either constant emotional stress and fighting or constant anxiety and panic or isolation and loneliness. Everything I try to do to fix these things backfires on me, and often it's for the reason that I'm me and I'm weird. I'm totally lost and miserable.
Samurai G0SU
Member
I've always had a gut feeling for many months... My wife finally admitted she isn't in love with me anymore.....
Booker Dewitt
Member
Still don't have a clear answer from my job about health insurance, which is rough since the past couple weeks I've had more bad days then balanced. Reached a head a couple days ago when I was thinking of ways to off myself that wouldn't impact my family's source of income immediately.
Calm down a bit, but now I'm on day four of being apathetic like a motherfucker. Been going through the motions of eating, sleeping, and working, I just don't give a damn about any of it. I got my goals to work towards in plan sight, but they seem attainable solely for obligation.
Edit: edited the count, forgot what a wash my day off was.
Calm down a bit, but now I'm on day four of being apathetic like a motherfucker. Been going through the motions of eating, sleeping, and working, I just don't give a damn about any of it. I got my goals to work towards in plan sight, but they seem attainable solely for obligation.
Edit: edited the count, forgot what a wash my day off was.
RoyaleDuke
Banned
Walked myself back from the ledge again, I just hate feeling this way all the time, someone I care about on GAF messaged me and it made me feel a lot better.
I just feel exhausted by time and circumstance. Even my therapist and psych see it but they don't know what to do for me, besides keeping me on the schedule of seeing them every week, which doesn't even happen lately since the office has been overwhelmed so I have to see them every other week if they don't cancel or reschedule on me.
My book is the Tartarus Syndrome, It's been available for almost a week, preorder for an entire month, and in that time I've only made one sale. The other thing is that so many people promised to buy it but they are nowhere to be found, my own mother won't read it.
My Dad posted about it on facebook, which admittedly I kind of wish he didn't because all he does on Facebook is go on racist tirades, and telling anyone foreign looking to get out of our country. :/
I'm just losing faith in that there is anything in this life that I'm meant to do, and I never understand how some people just seem to maneuver everything so easily, so carelessly, and they seem to have way more luck getting jobs than I have.
I mean even my dispicable neighbor, a deplorable if there was anyone that fitted the bill, has gotten more jobs than me despite the fact he A: Can't read B: is dumber than a sack of rocks.
It just makes me feel like I fucked up somewhere, like even this fucking asshole gets ahead instead of me or people like me.
It's infuriating on top of everything else.
I just feel exhausted by time and circumstance. Even my therapist and psych see it but they don't know what to do for me, besides keeping me on the schedule of seeing them every week, which doesn't even happen lately since the office has been overwhelmed so I have to see them every other week if they don't cancel or reschedule on me.
My book is the Tartarus Syndrome, It's been available for almost a week, preorder for an entire month, and in that time I've only made one sale. The other thing is that so many people promised to buy it but they are nowhere to be found, my own mother won't read it.
My Dad posted about it on facebook, which admittedly I kind of wish he didn't because all he does on Facebook is go on racist tirades, and telling anyone foreign looking to get out of our country. :/
I'm just losing faith in that there is anything in this life that I'm meant to do, and I never understand how some people just seem to maneuver everything so easily, so carelessly, and they seem to have way more luck getting jobs than I have.
I mean even my dispicable neighbor, a deplorable if there was anyone that fitted the bill, has gotten more jobs than me despite the fact he A: Can't read B: is dumber than a sack of rocks.
It just makes me feel like I fucked up somewhere, like even this fucking asshole gets ahead instead of me or people like me.
It's infuriating on top of everything else.
So after ECT saved my life and made me feel better than I've ever felt, for about 2 months, I've been going through a steady fall back down to how bad I used to be. I'm currently trying to figure out how feasible continuous touch-up treatments would be (essentially an ultrabrief unilateral treatment every other month, as opposed to the full 8 bilateral treatments I had over 3 weeks)
I'd have to find a place where I can get it done closer to where I live, and have one of my parents or my one friend drive me / pick me up afterwards, so someone would have to essentially take a day off work to get me there and back (As you aren't allowed to drive afterwards). I already feel like enough of a burden without adding more stress to my family's lives.
I think I'm going to see how this medication change to Fetzema effects me first, as my major issue that's been getting steadily worse has been low energy levels, and this relatively new / expensive medication is supposed to help with that. If that doesn't work, I might try a single treatment of ECT again and depending on those results, decide if feeling that good is worth the amount of aid from others/time/memory loss/other side effects. My initial instinct says yes because of how functional and good I felt after my full treatments, but that could have also been an effect of living in a place for ~2 months that involved a lot of social connecting, making friends, playing games, and wellness classes.
A suggestion I'll make to people struggling through each day like the rest of us often do, is that I've found that a health lifestyle checklist can be very helpful to use. Essentially a daily checklist of things like: 6-8 hours of sleep, breakfast,lunch,dinner, exercise, leisure, hygiene, relaxation, positive self talk, meditation/spirutual stuff, journaling, something social, family time, house chorse/responsibilities, healthy self rewards. It can help you find areas that need work, and also remind yourself to do healthy things like positive self talk on a daily basis.
I'd have to find a place where I can get it done closer to where I live, and have one of my parents or my one friend drive me / pick me up afterwards, so someone would have to essentially take a day off work to get me there and back (As you aren't allowed to drive afterwards). I already feel like enough of a burden without adding more stress to my family's lives.
I think I'm going to see how this medication change to Fetzema effects me first, as my major issue that's been getting steadily worse has been low energy levels, and this relatively new / expensive medication is supposed to help with that. If that doesn't work, I might try a single treatment of ECT again and depending on those results, decide if feeling that good is worth the amount of aid from others/time/memory loss/other side effects. My initial instinct says yes because of how functional and good I felt after my full treatments, but that could have also been an effect of living in a place for ~2 months that involved a lot of social connecting, making friends, playing games, and wellness classes.
A suggestion I'll make to people struggling through each day like the rest of us often do, is that I've found that a health lifestyle checklist can be very helpful to use. Essentially a daily checklist of things like: 6-8 hours of sleep, breakfast,lunch,dinner, exercise, leisure, hygiene, relaxation, positive self talk, meditation/spirutual stuff, journaling, something social, family time, house chorse/responsibilities, healthy self rewards. It can help you find areas that need work, and also remind yourself to do healthy things like positive self talk on a daily basis.
Widdle Puppy
Banned
How do you cope with chronic anger?
brianjones
Member
I can relate to the feeling of being lonely but not really wanting the commitment of having friends
idk its weird I want friends but on my own terms.. I know it doesn't work that way tho
idk its weird I want friends but on my own terms.. I know it doesn't work that way tho
RoyaleDuke
Banned
I feel like if I had success in my life, I could deal with everything else being so shitty.
My body eating itself up from the inside out, voices, sometimes hallucinations, that are mild but still disturbing nonetheless, constant anxiety and even when I try to have fun I just feel empty. It's so hard to keep myself doing anything I enjoy, which has been a constant struggle throughout my life because of MDD.
I think it just gets worse when you live in poverty on top of being mentally and physically sick, you end up feeling like there is no future, no hope, because the day to day reality never really changes, those existential fears lurk behind every thought like curling leaves in autumn. Dead leaves.
My body eating itself up from the inside out, voices, sometimes hallucinations, that are mild but still disturbing nonetheless, constant anxiety and even when I try to have fun I just feel empty. It's so hard to keep myself doing anything I enjoy, which has been a constant struggle throughout my life because of MDD.
I think it just gets worse when you live in poverty on top of being mentally and physically sick, you end up feeling like there is no future, no hope, because the day to day reality never really changes, those existential fears lurk behind every thought like curling leaves in autumn. Dead leaves.
opticalmace
Member
Ugh, sorry to hear it. If you want to talk it out more maybe make a new thread, people are actually pretty sympathetic around here despite what you see in some of the (political and/or gaming) threads.
It's been a little while since I've posted in this thread. I'm generally feeling decent on a day-to-day basis but definitely have some way to go in getting myself out of the rut I'm stuck in. I've been taking 20mg Citalopram for 2-3 months now and have a meeting with a councillor in a couple of hours. I'm not sure what to tell them since I'm currently going through one of my peak periods where I feel alright but I guess I'll see what they have to say.
I'm really sorry for your loss.
That's awesome! I just had a look for it on Amazon and the description sounded right up my alley. Bought!
I'm really sorry for your loss.
That's awesome! I just had a look for it on Amazon and the description sounded right up my alley. Bought!
Icelandic_Jazz
Member
I was writing down my sources of anxiety as an exercise to see what stood out.
I get a lot of anxiety when driving into a congested area/city and trying to find a parking spot, which prevents me from getting out of the house a lot of the time. I'm pretty fine with driving itself. I get some small anxiety here and there driving in cities that have really confusing roads or when I miss an exit due to backed up traffic, but most of the anxiety comes from bad parking experiences:
Roaming around a city trying to find a spot and being late for events.
Trying to parallel park/back into a spot with cars behind you getting impatient
Settling for a parking garages that charges awful rates
Going into a parking garage that is not for public parking
When I know that parking will be awful, I'll take a bus or an Uber which helps. But bus has its own stress and Uber is expensive.
I guess a solution would be giving myself plenty of time in advance to plan for parking spot searching, and practice parallel parking/backing in more. I tell myself the worst thing that can happen is driving around for a while until you find something, which isn't that bad.
But can I just say that I hate the current state of transportation in cities and overpopulated areas and really wish the world could do something to making parking feel less archaic and difficult.
This is just one issue next to loneliness, health, and social anxiety bringing me down lately.
I get a lot of anxiety when driving into a congested area/city and trying to find a parking spot, which prevents me from getting out of the house a lot of the time. I'm pretty fine with driving itself. I get some small anxiety here and there driving in cities that have really confusing roads or when I miss an exit due to backed up traffic, but most of the anxiety comes from bad parking experiences:
Roaming around a city trying to find a spot and being late for events.
Trying to parallel park/back into a spot with cars behind you getting impatient
Settling for a parking garages that charges awful rates
Going into a parking garage that is not for public parking
When I know that parking will be awful, I'll take a bus or an Uber which helps. But bus has its own stress and Uber is expensive.
I guess a solution would be giving myself plenty of time in advance to plan for parking spot searching, and practice parallel parking/backing in more. I tell myself the worst thing that can happen is driving around for a while until you find something, which isn't that bad.
But can I just say that I hate the current state of transportation in cities and overpopulated areas and really wish the world could do something to making parking feel less archaic and difficult.
This is just one issue next to loneliness, health, and social anxiety bringing me down lately.
Samurai G0SU
Member
thank you for the reply. this feeling has been on-going for almost a year. So you could imagine months of arguing as i try to figure out the truth. Where nights i would tell myself to believe her words that she loved me, and ignore the actions that showed the opposite. I am devastated and since we have a family with two amazing daughters, there is a lot to process and think about. Luckily i felt myself go into a depression about 4 months ago and sought out for counselling/therapy. They did say i have a diagnosis of Major Depression that is moderate in repetition. Well, from what i remember of what she said.So the medication is helping me stay away from the low abyss of heaviness and zombie like movement... And i made progress in my last sessions as she declared that i have moved away from Depression into sadness and that i am on the right track...
I guess at this very moment i am a bit relieved that a person i love could finally tell me the truth to my face, with real emotion and authenticity. But i know this will be a temporary feeling as i think im still in shock over this.. over what my gut telling me to be true... I dont know if ill make a thread, not yet, maybe, im not sure... i still have a lot of things to process.
Thank you again for the reply. .
Samurai G0SU
Member
Hey everyone. I'm not sure if many of you head this TED TALK by Andrew Solomon, but i recently seen this on my feed and thought it was a good listen. It is about 30 minutes and it's about Depression. I think his articulate way of description kept me engaged the whole time and actually help me understand that Sadness, Grief and Depression are all different and that Depression can be triggered by any type of 'traumatic/stressful event'. since i am going through depression myself, i thought learning more and hearing more about it helped me understand that I can get through this too.
https://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_solomon_depression_the_secret_we_share
https://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_solomon_depression_the_secret_we_share
wowbaggerBR
Member
Man, I envy you. I'm trying to finnish not one, but three books, for the last decade and I can't seem to get anywhere. Just been able to put your work out there, to finnish it, is a huge achievement, from my point of view, anyways.
Slick Butter
Member
I guess this is the right thread for this.
I posted a thread about having a concussion a few days ago since I was pretty scared and needed to hear what others with concussions had gone through.
However, since then my anxiety has shot through the roof and I feel like I became a major hypochondriac overnight basically. I realize when certain things are just me worrying about nothing for no reason but right now there's something scaring me so bad that I can't function, but I also feel like maybe I'm worrying for nothing.
Basically I think I have bleeding in my upper GI tract but I dunno if I do or what. I don't want to make my parents pay for an ER visit just to find out I'm fine but I am also afraid I'm gonna die or something.
I've always been an anxious person but I've never been like this before and I dunno what's real and what's worth worrying about and what's not. Or maybe I do but it feels like my mind has been attacking itself. I can't focus on anything but worrying and fear since this past Friday. I did start anti anxiety meds yesterday, however.
Just need to put this somewhere because I feel like I've been bothering my friends a little for the past week with my worrying about my head. I dunno what to do.
EDIT: Managed to calm myself down a bit. Pretty sure I'll be fine. I'll see if I need to go to the ER or something tomorrow but I think I was really just panicking. I just want to make it out of this episode of anxiety I've been having alive and well.
EDIT 2: fuck i'm more scared now. i wish i could get a hold of myself
I posted a thread about having a concussion a few days ago since I was pretty scared and needed to hear what others with concussions had gone through.
However, since then my anxiety has shot through the roof and I feel like I became a major hypochondriac overnight basically. I realize when certain things are just me worrying about nothing for no reason but right now there's something scaring me so bad that I can't function, but I also feel like maybe I'm worrying for nothing.
Basically I think I have bleeding in my upper GI tract but I dunno if I do or what. I don't want to make my parents pay for an ER visit just to find out I'm fine but I am also afraid I'm gonna die or something.
I've always been an anxious person but I've never been like this before and I dunno what's real and what's worth worrying about and what's not. Or maybe I do but it feels like my mind has been attacking itself. I can't focus on anything but worrying and fear since this past Friday. I did start anti anxiety meds yesterday, however.
Just need to put this somewhere because I feel like I've been bothering my friends a little for the past week with my worrying about my head. I dunno what to do.
EDIT: Managed to calm myself down a bit. Pretty sure I'll be fine. I'll see if I need to go to the ER or something tomorrow but I think I was really just panicking. I just want to make it out of this episode of anxiety I've been having alive and well.
EDIT 2: fuck i'm more scared now. i wish i could get a hold of myself
close to the edge
Member
I found this video about ADHD (it's a part of a longer presentation) on Reddit yesterday and I've been thinking about it ever since. I've had issues like that since forever. Not just with school or university, but also with my hobbies. I hardly ever finish games that I start, I rarely finish (as in, get into a state where it's useful for me or someone else) programming projects that I do privately and so on. I don't think I have (or ever had) the other issues that are commonly associated with ADHD but I've been thinking about going to a therapist to talk about this. I went to therapy from ~2012-2014 for some mild anxiety issues. I've been thinking about going again and looking into this because it's been especially rough for the last couple of months. I just can't get shit done.
Slick Butter
Member
Jeez. What a day I've had today. Even though I've done nothing really all day, my mind got worn out.
I can't believe that fairly recently I would have (stupidly) thought of a hypochondriac as a kind of crazy person, yet here I find myself with my regular anxiety revving up for the last five or six days and manifesting itself as health anxiety.
Even though I'm calm again, the fear that I have something wrong with me lingers in the back of my mind, and what really scares me right now about being right about something being wrong with me is that it'll promote further anxiety about my health.
At the moment, all I can do is wait and see, I guess. I hope there's nothing wrong and I just want to get over this episode of anxiety. I guess that's obvious, and I know this is my second post today, but it feels a lot better to get it typed out and out there.
I can't believe that fairly recently I would have (stupidly) thought of a hypochondriac as a kind of crazy person, yet here I find myself with my regular anxiety revving up for the last five or six days and manifesting itself as health anxiety.
Even though I'm calm again, the fear that I have something wrong with me lingers in the back of my mind, and what really scares me right now about being right about something being wrong with me is that it'll promote further anxiety about my health.
At the moment, all I can do is wait and see, I guess. I hope there's nothing wrong and I just want to get over this episode of anxiety. I guess that's obvious, and I know this is my second post today, but it feels a lot better to get it typed out and out there.
sineclamor
Member
Could use someone to talk to, I guess. The video a couple posts up shook me up. Can't sleep due to being in a panic attack. I knew when I got the ADHD diagnosis how shitty it was but I'm now having to deal with the ramifications.
Half drunk and strung out. Kind of a rough night.
Half drunk and strung out. Kind of a rough night.
Feel free to talk about what's bothering you. Could also PM me if you'd rather keep it private. If you need to talk to someone right away, I'd suggest 7cups.
sineclamor
Member
I reached out to an old friend, I'm maybe kinda straightening out now. Thanks for responding, I'll take a peek at 7cups.
Ah man this is embarrassing stuff, we all know that, but damn.
Ah man this is embarrassing stuff, we all know that, but damn.
depths20XX
Member
No need to feel embarrassed, dude. We all feel that way sometimes but no one judges you except the assholes.
close to the edge
Member
Oof, I'm sorry. I didn't think that video would upset anyone. Hope you're feeling better now.
- Status