Walked myself back from the ledge again, I just hate feeling this way all the time, someone I care about on GAF messaged me and it made me feel a lot better.
I just feel exhausted by time and circumstance. Even my therapist and psych see it but they don't know what to do for me, besides keeping me on the schedule of seeing them every week, which doesn't even happen lately since the office has been overwhelmed so I have to see them every other week if they don't cancel or reschedule on me.
Happiness. Though like Sub Boss said, how you find and obtain that happiness is all up to you. I'd like to know, what have you tried so far in order find happiness? And why do you think that the things you tried haven't worked so far? Maybe you've simply been approaching this from a wrong angle.
Isn't it a bit early to already call your book a failure if you've only just published it? Who knows, it might just become a best seller! What is your book called? I'd like to look it up.
My book is the Tartarus Syndrome, It's been available for almost a week, preorder for an entire month, and in that time I've only made one sale. The other thing is that so many people promised to buy it but they are nowhere to be found, my own mother won't read it.
My Dad posted about it on facebook, which admittedly I kind of wish he didn't because all he does on Facebook is go on racist tirades, and telling anyone foreign looking to get out of our country. :/
I'm just losing faith in that there is anything in this life that I'm meant to do, and I never understand how some people just seem to maneuver everything so easily, so carelessly, and they seem to have way more luck getting jobs than I have.
I mean even my dispicable neighbor, a deplorable if there was anyone that fitted the bill, has gotten more jobs than me despite the fact he A: Can't read B: is dumber than a sack of rocks.
It just makes me feel like I fucked up somewhere, like even this fucking asshole gets ahead instead of me or people like me.
It's infuriating on top of everything else.