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[Ultima_5]

I'd check your insurances website or give them a call and ask which mental health providers take your insurance that's where I started.

yeah i just pulled a list of psychiatrist and psychologist that are covered in my area. how do i go about this? just give them a call?

there's like... 100s listed

 

[Lemaitre]

yeah i just pulled a list of psychiatrist and psychologist that are covered in my area. how do i go about this? just give them a call?

there's like... 100s listed

Yeah it can be overwhelming trying to find mental health help. What I did was just choose professionals close to me. Trying to find reviews on therapists/psychiatrists can be hit or miss since treatment is very subjective and people can dislike a professional for a multitude of personal reasons. All I can say is keep trying people until you find someone you can be open and honest with. Treatment won't do you any good unless you have a healthy relationship with them.

I went through two psychiatrists and two therapists before I found my current fit. Just take your time and be patient, even though it can seem tedious at first. Edit: My personal recommendation would be to see a therapist/psychologist first and then a psychiatrist. You will have much longer sessions with your therapist and the psychiatrist will want to get you in and out asap. I really enjoy my mental health center because both my therapist and psychiatrist are in-house and can easily share notes with one another.

I recently informed him that the medicine wasn't working that well. He suggested to raise the dosage on his own and requested that I take a urine drug test. I did as he asked right away, and he told me that there was no adderall in my urine--so I explained to him that I didn't take the medicine for several days as it was not working. Still waiting for his response.

I hate being treated like a criminal

Is there more background to your situation you can share with us? For instance, why is it that your psychiatrist is having to drug test you? Do you have a history of substance abuse perhaps? Usually if you share a history of substance abuse with a psychiatrist they will be much more averse to prescribing you certain medications or increasing the dosages.

Also do you not have an option to get a second opinion from another psychiatrist? You could just have a terrible doctor but see if you can get a second opinion at the least.

 

[cloudburst]

Fuck my psychiatrist.

He is so untrusting of me, I have been his patient for 4 months for ADHD, and I've been drug tested twice and he is always suspicious.

I take a low dosage of Adderall XR 10mg, despite initially asking for a Wellbutrin or Concerta type medicine that wouldn't exacerbate my anxiety.

I recently informed him that the medicine wasn't working that well. He suggested to raise the dosage on his own and requested that I take a urine drug test. I did as he asked right away, and he told me that there was no adderall in my urine--so I explained to him that I didn't take the medicine for several days as it was not working. Still waiting for his response.

I hate being treated like a criminal

 

[cloudburst]

Is there more background to your situation you can share with us? For instance, why is it that your psychiatrist is having to drug test you? Do you have a history of substance abuse perhaps? Usually if you share a history of substance abuse with a psychiatrist they will be much more averse to prescribing you certain medications or increasing the dosages.

Also do you not have an option to get a second opinion from another psychiatrist? You could just have a terrible doctor but see if you can get a second opinion at the least.

No, but I did admit to smoking marijuana occasionally (I live in California), after which I agreed to stop taking marijuana while under treatment for ADHD. That was during my initial visit.

The 2nd urine test I took was negative for marijuana, but also negative for adderall. I also never asked to have my dosage increased, he suggested it on his own. I have a final exam in 3 hours and was counting on having my medicine, but instead I'm being interrogated.

A more trusting doctor would have taken my word and would not have repeatedly asked me if I still take any marijuana in addition to making me take urine drug tests. You can tell he just doesn't really care, but I guess I'm overreacting a bit.

I am definitely changing my doctor now. This is so denigrating and demeaning.

 

[Lemaitre]

No, but I did admit to smoking marijuana occasionally (I live in California), after which I agreed to stop taking marijuana while under treatment for ADHD. That was during my initial visit.

The 2nd urine test I took was negative for marijuana, but also negative for adderall. I also never asked to have my dosage increased, he suggested it on his own. I have a final exam in 3 hours and was counting on having my medicine, but instead I'm being interrogated.

A more trusting doctor would have taken my word and would not have repeatedly asked me if I still take any marijuana in addition to making me take urine drug tests. You can tell he just doesn't really care, but I guess I'm overreacting a bit.

I am definitely changing my doctor now. This is so denigrating and demeaning.

Yeah...I don't really understand your doctor at all. He seems a bit old fashioned and stuck in the past actually. I'm in treatment for bipolar II, anxiety, and ADHD and I have never been given any crap about my marijuana use. I have been told to abstain from alcohol but that's it really (and hard drugs of course). I even disclosed previous cocaine use to them and all they asked was if I still used it and I said nope (which is true).

So yeah, I would definitely get a second opinion. Where are you located (sorry for some reason I assumed you were in Cali lol)? I'm in a somewhat conservative area in Orange County but my doc and therapist still seem to trust me even with my crazy past.

 

[brianjones]

yeah i just pulled a list of psychiatrist and psychologist that are covered in my area. how do i go about this? just give them a call?

there's like... 100s listed

yeah just ask if they're accepting new patients and make sure they take your insurance

don't be disheartened if you don't click with the first therapist you try.. it's like trying on new clothes

i just met with a new one yesterday and he was a terrible person.. scary to think of what someone suicidal going to him would feel like.. i have obamacare tho so my options are not great

 

[Pau]

yeah i just pulled a list of psychiatrist and psychologist that are covered in my area. how do i go about this? just give them a call?

there's like... 100s listed

I'm in the same boat. Feels pretty daunting. Good luck!

 

[cloudburst]

Yeah...I don't really understand your doctor at all. He seems a bit old fashioned and stuck in the past actually. I'm in treatment for bipolar II, anxiety, and ADHD and I have never been given any crap about my marijuana use. I have been told to abstain from alcohol but that's it really (and hard drugs of course). I even disclosed previous cocaine use to them and all they asked was if I still used it and I said nope (which is true).

So yeah, I would definitely get a second opinion. Where are you located (sorry for some reason I assumed you were in Cali lol)? I'm in a somewhat conservative area in Orange County but my doc and therapist still seem to trust me even with my crazy past.

I'm in SoCal as well (good guess!), but it's Kaiser so I suppose that's why he's old-fashioned, but it doesn't excuse him. I'm also a grad student who is very responsible.

You are very fortunate to have an understanding doctor because I've been treated like shit despite being very forthright.

I just hope he doesn't deny me my medicine. I don't know what I would do if that were to happen.

 

[Hale-XF11]

Started reading a book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns, MD.

It's a self help book of sorts with an emphasis on cognitive therapy. I'm really hoping it will lead me on the right path to feeling better, in lieu of me not having adequate and affordable health coverage.

 

[Dr_Boris_Goltz]

I'm on 50mg of Zoloft and it's essentially doing nothing but making my headaches (which I get normally) worse. I'm on depakote for the headaches and it's making me feel sick all the time.

I'm considering just stopping everything. It's all just making me feel worse. I've never had success with any medications and I've been on a TON of them at this point.

Honestly the most helpful thing has been regular therapy, but even that's starting to taper off. I get the feeling he thinks I'm not making enough progress.

I realize I post randomly in this thread and don't really try to be a part of the community, but there are times where I feel like garbage and have a need to tell somebody.

 

[Lemaitre]

I'm on 50mg of Zoloft and it's essentially doing nothing but making my headaches (which I get normally) worse. I'm on depakote for the headaches and it's making me feel sick all the time.

I'm considering just stopping everything. It's all just making me feel worse. I've never had success with any medications and I've been on a TON of them at this point.

Honestly the most helpful thing has been regular therapy, but even that's starting to taper off. I get the feeling he thinks I'm not making enough progress.

I realize I post randomly in this thread and don't really try to be a part of the community, but there are times where I feel like garbage and have a need to tell somebody.

Well first off don't feel obligated to post more or feel like you're not part of this community just because you don't post enough. No need for that kind of guilt!

If Zoloft & Depakote are not working out for you don't fret too much, there are a litany of options out there to try. I know having patience with medication regimens is hard but keep at it. Have you told or called your doctor/psychiatrist about the side effects you are experiencing? Let them know first if you can because suddenly stopping Zoloft & Depakote will have very adverse effects and may actually make you feel worse. The best thing to do would be to slowly come off both of them before changing medications. But please get in touch with your doc asap.

Have you told your therapist your thoughts of not feeling there has not been enough progress? It would be better just to verbalize your concerns with them, that's what they're there for.

 

[Dr_Boris_Goltz]

Well first off don't feel obligated to post more or feel like you're not part of this community just because you don't post enough. No need for that kind of guilt!

If Zoloft & Depakote are not working out for you don't fret too much, there are a litany of options out there to try. I know having patience with medication regimens is hard but keep at it. Have you told or called your doctor/psychiatrist about the side effects you are experiencing? Let them know first if you can because suddenly stopping Zoloft & Depakote will have very adverse effects and may actually make you feel worse. The best thing to do would be to slowly come off both of them before changing medications. But please get in touch with your doc asap.

Have you told your therapist your thoughts of not feeling there has not been enough progress? It would be better just to verbalize your concerns with them, that's what they're there for.

Thanks man. I'm going to call monday and figure this all out.

 

[JDHarbs]

I don't know if these videos have been shared here before, but this guy Nick Vujicic was born without limbs and gives some really great inspirational speeches.

He's a religious person so they may not be for everyone, but it is kept to a minimum. They've helped me a bit with my mental health, and might help someone else too.

https://youtu.be/q2tqKCoS2-w?t=10m19s

Just thought I'd share. Keep going, folks.

 

[Daria]

i hit a /very/ low (or close to) point tonight and it hitting me hard. i've gotten back into therapy last year due to personal problems which led to relationship problems. i led myself back into it again but this time tenfold. i crossed a line that i've witnessed too many times before and after telling myself i wasn't going to turn that way.

i've been afraid to admit that i've become depressed again but yeah.. it's true. it's more than that. it's going to take a while and i'm finally realizing that. i want so much at once but it's impossible. i can't balance it.

i need to make calls monday but until then, i don't know how to go to sleep or plan for the next two days of work.

 

[RoyaleDuke]

I'm broke and everything is falling apart.

help.

 

[Daria]

i got up today and went to work. i'm surprised i'm doing this

 

[Widdle Puppy]

For anxiety I take Paxil 20mg and the addition of Ritalin has also nearly completely destroyed the rest of my anxiety. Remember that stimulants can increase anxiety (like coffee) so having a beta-blocker might help keep your anxiety down? I take 20mg of Inderal twice a day which levels out the effects of the Ritalin. Do you have experience with other stimulants beyond Vyvanse? Also, as I have already addressed to another poster please know that Xanax use is only short term. You need to figure out what is causing your underlying anxiety, and even though Xanax is an easy answer in the short term your anxiety will be exasperated for having used it.

As for me, having started Methylphenidate (a.k.a. Ritalin) it has made a continued drastic reduction upon my anxiety. I can hold conversations with folks longer, and I no longer fret about maintaining eye contact or saying the right thing. I no longer am spending the majority of my days lost in thought but I am actually...doing things! I can actually concentrate and read, and retain way more information. In total I am now on four drugs: Lamictal 100mg, Paxil 20mg, Inderal 20mg, and Ritalin 5mg. It's amazing how big a difference even 5mg makes for me, and I'm excited to up my dose or even transition to Dextroamphetamine (Adderall).

Having said that, does anyone here have experience moving from Ritalin to Adderall or how that process came about for you? According to some brief research I did Ritalin is usually the first stimulant given since it lasts only 2-3 hours (vs. Adderall's 4-6). After seeing such drastic results in six days I would definitely like a longer lasting stimulant.

Vyvanse actually cuts back on my anxiety some as well. for some reason i can't focus on convos or get like super bored or anxious when in them. It's not that bad but it is a bit annoying.

Right now I'm only on effexor which is doing well with my depression but i feel like I could benefit from continued use of vyvanse and also maybe something to dull hard anxious moments.

 

[Hermii]

Warning: Extreme negativity below.

Spoiler

I feel so incredibly bitter and angry. I know those feelings is just a coping strategy for not dealing with even more painful emotions of incredible grief and sorrow for having lived my life like this. I will soon turn 30 and I have never been loved, never been touched regularly, lost all my friends if I ever really had any. I hope I never turn 60, whats the fucking point. I taken a neuropsychology test twice, and the first time they diagnosed me with nonverbal learning disability and the second time asberger, I feel the first one makes more sense as there are several asberger traits I don't recognise in myself. Either way whats the point of going on, I don't have the life skills I need to ever make myself happy, and its extremely unlikely I ever obtain them.

 

[AudioNoir]

It's getting to the point where I can't handle media involving kids getting hurt. I don't mean like scraping their knees or whatever, but seriously hurt or killed.

I was always like that to some minor degree before having kids, and it definitely got worse after, but it's just getting worse and worse as time goes by. I'll see something on tv, and completely break down.

The problem is, it's everywhere. I go on Facebook, and someone shares some awful story (of course with a nice descriptive title and compelling photo). I watch a movie, and well hey here's a nice dead kid. Last week I was walking through a clinic at work, and the waiting room tv was blaring some Dr Phil show about a baby who drowned in a tub. And of course I had to be walking through at that moment. Why the hell not.

I feel like my reaction to this stuff is getting worse over time, and I don't know what to do about it. Spoilers forever with movies and television now, I guess. My psychiatrist recommended cutting online time a lot, too. Tonight, my husband and I sat down for a new episode of a show we love, and it happened again. I sat there and hyperventilated. I feel so fucking stupid.

 

[tearsofash]

I cut for the first time in a long time last week. Surprisingly, it actually did help. Several people mentioned that I seemed happier all week. It was pretty rad. Naturally, I'm not going to start cutting myself just to feel better, but it's good to know there's something I can do when I'm at wit's end as long as I drink a coke and go for an exercise afterward.

This weekend though? I was tripped by some people and then mugged. They took my wallet, 11 bucks in cash, and my cigarettes someone bought me. They ended up getting $100 off what was already an account in overdraft. Hopefully I can get the bank to work with me on that. I'm confident they will.

Then later on that night I was date raped. I think I was drugged. He said it was Molly, but it didn't feel like Molly tbh. I'm not interested in sex and I said that earlier on in the night. I thought we were just going to get high. I tried resisting but like I couldn't move and stuff. Was pretty bad. Please don't ask for details, that's all I feel comfortable sharing.

I did get a chance to call the cops after he fell asleep. Thankfully, my severe insomnia and discomfort kept me awake. They arrested him. I went to the hospital because my blood pressure was 180/71 or something near that. They did the rape kit stuff, looked at my leg, gave me a shot, and sent me on my way 9 hours later. The rape kit is really embarassing as well. A stranger poking and prodding all the parts of your body associated with your recent trauma just serves to help you relive it and make it even more painful, but apparently it's good to have for court so I submitted to it.

I'm still pretty much in shock. I'm kind of blaming myself, of course.

The hospital set me up with a Sexual Abuse Counselor or something so hopefully I can get a chance to talk out the details with a professional and find healthy ways to cope with this. I've had a number of traumas in the past and I did not deal with them in healthy ways, but I would like to try to be better.

 

[pigeon interrupted]

I cut for the first time in a long time last week. Surprisingly, it actually did help. Several people mentioned that I seemed happier all week. It was pretty rad. Naturally, I'm not going to start cutting myself just to feel better, but it's good to know there's something I can do when I'm at wit's end as long as I drink a coke and go for an exercise afterward.

This weekend though? I was tripped by some people and then mugged. They took my wallet, 11 bucks in cash, and my cigarettes someone bought me. They ended up getting $100 off what was already an account in overdraft. Hopefully I can get the bank to work with me on that. I'm confident they will.

Then later on that night I was date raped. I think I was drugged. He said it was Molly, but it didn't feel like Molly tbh. I'm not interested in sex and I said that earlier on in the night. I thought we were just going to get high. I tried resisting but like I couldn't move and stuff. Was pretty bad. Please don't ask for details, that's all I feel comfortable sharing.

I did get a chance to call the cops after he fell asleep. Thankfully, my severe insomnia and discomfort kept me awake. They arrested him. I went to the hospital because my blood pressure was 180/71 or something near that. They did the rape kit stuff, looked at my leg, gave me a shot, and sent me on my way 9 hours later. The rape kit is really embarassing as well. A stranger poking and prodding all the parts of your body associated with your recent trauma just serves to help you relive it and make it even more painful, but apparently it's good to have for court so I submitted to it.

I'm still pretty much in shock. I'm kind of blaming myself, of course.

The hospital set me up with a Sexual Abuse Counselor or something so hopefully I can get a chance to talk out the details with a professional and find healthy ways to cope with this. I've had a number of traumas in the past and I did not deal with them in healthy ways, but I would like to try to be better.

Tears, don't blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. Really. I know that cutting feels like it helps but you know it's not good for the long-term. You're brave and you did the right thing telling the police. I've been spiked before. I blacked out. I really don't know what happened to me. I got myself a full sexual heath screening a few weeks later - you should get that organized if it hasn't already been taken care of. I am so sorry this happened to you. Hang in there. If you ever want to chat you are welcome to pm me *hugs*

I'm broke and everything is falling apart.

help.

Duke, you know I'm here for you, let me know if I can help.

 

[tearsofash]

I got myself a full sexual heath screening a few weeks later - you should get that organized if it hasn't already been taken care of. I am so sorry this happened to you. Hang in there. If you ever want to chat you are welcome to pm me *hugs*

I did the rape kit thing, so I got like all the sexual health shots and vaccines and preventative pills.Is there anything that doesn't really cover I should get tested for ?

 

[pigeon interrupted]

I did the rape kit thing, so I got like all the sexual health shots and vaccines and preventative pills.Is there anything that doesn't really cover I should get tested for ?

Honestly, I'm not sure. You are probably covered but it might be worth researching. I didn't tell anyone and went for a screening under the premise of having had consensual unprotected sex I don't know exactly what the rape kit/screening covers. You should be good I'd imagine. They did recommend i get a hepatitis B vaccination. Sorry i couldn't be more help.

Edit: They also mentioned PREP or PEP in the UK. It can stop HIV from infecting the body but has to be started asap after exposure (3 days max, I believe). Hopefully you have access to this or have been prescribed it by the nurse. I waited too long before getting screened for it to be of use.

 

[Okamid3n]

For the other bipolar folks around here, have any of you ever heard voices? Well, that happened to me last night and it freaked me out pretty bad. I was just sitting there watching tv, and I wasn't depressed or anything, but I heard a woman's voice whisper "you've made some bad decisions." as clear as day. It wasn't my phone and no one else was in the room. I rewound my dvr over and over again and it wasn't what I was watching.

It has me freaked out and frankly kind of paranoid it's going to happen again. Even when I've been manic and delusional, I've never lost touch with reality. Now I'm worried I'll lose that too. Please tell me I'm not the only person who's experienced this.

My reply is way too late, but my dad is bipolar and stopped his meds for a year, which was obviously a really bad idea that ended up being very...trying. Anyway, by the end of it, he was hearing tons of voices. There's definitely a correlation between being bipolar and hearing voices.

 

[MooMoo]

Thanks to those who PMed!

 

[tearsofash]

Honestly, I'm not sure. You are probably covered but it might be worth researching. I didn't tell anyone and went for a screening under the premise of having had consensual unprotected sex I don't know exactly what the rape kit/screening covers. You should be good I'd imagine. They did recommend i get a hepatitis B vaccination. Sorry i couldn't be more help.

Edit: They also mentioned PREP or PEP in the UK. It can stop HIV from infecting the body but has to be started asap after exposure (3 days max, I believe). Hopefully you have access to this or have been prescribed it by the nurse. I waited too long before getting screened for it to be of use.

PreEP/PEP was part of the rape kit thing. I believe I've had a Hep B shot before

 

[Zeyphersan]

There is no greater pain I have experienced on this earth than talking to an ex because I have no one else in this world to talk to and being vulnerable about how awful I’m feeling and how terribly my life has become and them responding with “Honestly breaking up was the best thing to happen to me. I found happiness and am the best person I’ve been yet”

Is it petty of me? Yes, it’s incredibly petty. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

 

[jb1234]

There is no greater pain I have experienced on this earth than talking to an ex because I have no one else in this world to talk to and being vulnerable about how awful I’m feeling and how terribly my life has become and them responding with “Honestly breaking up was the best thing to happen to me. I found happiness and am the best person I’ve been yet”

Is it petty of me? Yes, it’s incredibly petty. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

The appropriate thing for your ex to have done in that situation was to say, "I'm sorry you're suffering and I hope things get better for you soon." Telling you that they're much happier with someone else is just remarkably tone deaf in that situation (and frankly, mean).

 

[Menthuss]

Having a rough day but at the same time don't exactly want to post it here. Anyone open to a PM to listen in on my silly story?

Sure, I'm always up for listening

 

[CortexVortex]

Had a look at my inbox and apparently I have an appointment with a Psychotherapist this Thursday.
I don't know what to expect but I hope it's gonna help me to deal with my problems.

My mood swings are getting much worse. Yesterday I was in a pretty good mood, joking around and stuff and today I woke up with lots of negative thoughts. But I will try to move on and not doing anything self destructive. For now at least.
But if life's not getting better anytime soon I don't know if I really should bother anymore.

I guess the biggest issue is not that the relationship didn't work out or that it stings that she's happy and I'm in the worst place I've ever been in mentally in my life. It's that all of this and much much much more could have been avoided if I had heeded the signs and cared enough about my mental well-being to get help years ago.

I know exactly what you're talking about. I, too, have had these issues for a long ass time and if I had gotten some help I might have been able to save the relationship and would be in a much better place overall. But the fact, that you're already seeing a therapist is great. I wish you all the best, man.

 

[Zeyphersan]

The appropriate thing for your ex to have done in that situation was to say, "I'm sorry you're suffering and I hope things get better for you soon." Telling you that they're much happier with someone else is just remarkably tone deaf in that situation (and frankly, mean).

Well it turned into a long conversation about how she knew how depressed I was before getting into the relationship (whereas I only thought I was depressed recently, sought a therapist and realized that this has gone untreated for roughly a decade. I truly didn’t know the signs of my depression until like a month ago) but she thought we would work through that, how she wanted me to get help more or less the whole time but never really mentioned it or gave a big push for it because she didn’t want me to do anything I didn’t want to, and how she got over the whole thing pretty quickly and that I was a giant drain on her during the whole relationship. That last part is likely me projecting.

I guess the biggest issue is not that the relationship didn’t work out or that it stings that she’s happy and I’m in the worst place I’ve ever been in mentally in my life. It’s that all of this and much much much more could have been avoided if I had heeded the signs and cared enough about my mental well-being to get help years ago. At the bare minimum when I was 19 and my dad offered to get me a therapist because I was doing poorly at a college I was clearly unhappy at and I turned him down. This now makes two relationships that my undiagnosed depression has wreaked havoc on. I’m seeing a therapist now and I want to get better, I want it more than anything else. I don’t know what to do.

 

[jb1234]

Well it turned into a long conversation about how she knew how depressed I was before getting into the relationship (whereas I only thought I was depressed recently, sought a therapist and realized that this has gone untreated for roughly a decade. I truly didn’t know the signs of my depression until like a month ago) but she thought we would work through that, how she wanted me to get help more or less the whole time but never really mentioned it or gave a big push for it because she didn’t want me to do anything I didn’t want to, and how she got over the whole thing pretty quickly and that I was a giant drain on her during the whole relationship. That last part is likely me projecting.

I guess the biggest issue is not that the relationship didn’t work out or that it stings that she’s happy and I’m in the worst place I’ve ever been in mentally in my life. It’s that all of this and much much much more could have been avoided if I had heeded the signs and cared enough about my mental well-being to get help years ago. At the bare minimum when I was 19 and my dad offered to get me a therapist because I was doing poorly at a college I was clearly unhappy at and I turned him down. This now makes two relationships that my undiagnosed depression has wreaked havoc on. I’m seeing a therapist now and I want to get better, I want it more than anything else. I don’t know what to do.

Hindsight is a bitch, for sure. The important part is that you're getting help now. The past is what it is but you can make changes for a better future. I am sorry you're suffering and hope you're able to find relief soon.

 

[CortexVortex]

Sorry for posting twice in such a short time.
Just curious if anyone has tips how to deal with... let's call it “really bad thoughts“.

My mood got even worse and I am not sure if I want to deal with it anymore. Does not matter how much time I spent with friends, at the end I am just all alone.all my friends are like “it will get better“. Fuck that. It won't.

I miss her so much as she was the only thing that kept me going (i am aware that i should have got help much earlier, back when I was in a relationship). You know,I just want one truly happy day. One single day. Most days are just a big struggle to get through and it is just not worth it.

 

[tearsofash]

I've been having so many breakdowns in public areas like human services and the bus I don't really feel like leaving my apartment today. I feel like I've been hit by a freight train.

i have to take 17 pills a day and I'm getting kind of tired of it and I feel like it's not really doing a whole lot in the first place. I need to convince my doctor to give me strong stuff not just the 'safe' and 'weak' anxiety pills but i'm not sure if i am ready.

 

[SprachBrooks]

Is it a sign of depression to worry sometimes you'll do something suicidal without even thinking about it? At times I often get scared of myself that I'll reach the stage where I'll end up as one of those people who ends up in a place even though no one could ever think it occurring to them. How does it usually go, the person never presents as one even suffering from such issues to have done that.

I really don't know if I should make an appointment with my GP––I've been feeling so depressed for the past few years and it's gotten worse this year. I often get so lonely to the point where I just stare at space. Additionally, I don't really enjoying anything anymore; I'm constantly wondering how it feels to be happy––to look forward to something...to have a purpose. Should I go see my GP and tell them about it? I don't want it to just be a low mood where I waste their time...

 

[Blackthorn]

Just thought I'd share a little anecdote from my life for anyone else on the fence over taking antidepressants.

I've had depression since I was a young teen, and despite being presented many opportunities to take antidepressants, I always backed out due to fear of side effects/changing me, etc.

Recently I've had hard times and I could feel my mood was dropping fast, and I wouldn't be able to get therapy soon enough to help. The way my thoughts were going, I realised my survival depending on intervention, and finally took antidepressants.

I know everyone reacts differently to them, but for me it's been revelatory. The "fog" has been significantly lifted and there's no side effects to speak of, even on a low dose. It feels bizarre to have made more progress with my depression by taking a pill than years of therapy and mental self discipline ever managed.

I guess it really was mostly chemical, after all? I knew the science of depression inside out, but for some reason I never really confronted the reality myself, and insisted I should find other means of dealing with it. But fuck, I regret not taking them years ago, I look back at so many situations that could have been improved had my mind not been getting in the way.

I'm not writing this to urge anyone to take them too as I know everyone has their own ways of coping with depression, but I thought it might be valuable to share for anyone else in a similar situation. I'm still gonna continue with therapy, which I'm excited for, as I feel like I can make even more progress now.

 

[Zeyphersan]

Just thought I'd share a little anecdote from my life for anyone else on the fence over taking antidepressants.

I've had depression since I was a young teen, and despite being presented many opportunities to take antidepressants, I always backed out due to fear of side effects/changing me, etc.

Recently I've had hard times and I could feel my mood was dropping fast, and I wouldn't be able to get therapy soon enough to help. The way my thoughts were going, I realised my survival depending on intervention, and finally took antidepressants.

I know everyone reacts differently to them, but for me it's been revelatory. The "fog" has been significantly lifted and there's no side effects to speak of, even on a low dose. It feels bizarre to have made more progress with my depression by taking a pill than years of therapy and mental self discipline ever managed.

I guess it really was mostly chemical, after all? I knew the science of depression inside out, but for some reason I never really confronted the reality myself, and insisted I should find other means of dealing with it. But fuck, I regret not taking them years ago, I look back at so many situations that could have been improved had my mind not been getting in the way.

I'm not writing this to urge anyone to take them too as I know everyone has their own ways of coping with depression, but I thought it might be valuable to share for anyone else in a similar situation. I'm still gonna continue with therapy, which I'm excited for, as I feel like I can make even more progress now.

This was honestly really uplifting to hear and really encouraging, I deeply appreciate it. My therapist has been urging me to see a psychiatrist to start on some antidepressants, and I’m really nervous about it. She assures me that if they work it’ll be a huge difference, and stories like yours back that up. I’m coming around and ready to try them, I’m ready to lift that fog that for the longest time I didn’t even know was there. I thought it was normal

 

[Samurai G0SU]

So I've been able to manage my depression and now I'm just in a sadness stage according to my therapist. I can tell because I no longer need to take the medication and I can get myself out of an aybss of heaviness on thoughts...

But today man.... Day after my bday where I felt so confident in taking on the world, I feel so lonely. My wife is no longer in love with me and she has attention to fulfill her needs easily... For me I don't feel right looking for a rebound nor to.start looking for romantic support.. we need to do this for about 2 years then we can officially separate... But man... I don't want to relaalpse into.my thought process of unworthiness, heaviness, stuck in a loop....

I guess I needed to write it out and hope someone would just read it. I think and believe I'll be okay with just a good night's rest, but ugh ... Looking into.the beautiful sunset made me really miss the "us".. while I'm home with our two kids she is at work...

Anyway, I'm glad we have a place like this...

 

[Denzar]

Hi GAF, I don't usually post here but I need to vent/tell the VERY short version of my life story and could use some advice.

I've failed my drivers license test for the third time today. I know I can drive a car, I know I can pass the test, yet it seems like an insurmountable task to actually do so. I took up driving lessons back in 2014 (20 Hours). Then, three days before my first test, I subscribed to another 6 hours just to make sure that I was totally ready to GET THAT SHIT DONE.

First time the nerves got to me. Fucked up my parking. Before my second try, I paid for another 2 hours, just to make sure. Test went great, no nerves at all. Only there was a dispute 100m before the finish line and they failed me. To this day I still don't really know what exactly I did wrong to immediately fail the test. The description on the evaluation form is super vague. Failing the test twice, you are obliged to take up 6 hours of driving courses. Those cost € 512. If that wasn't enough, Belgian driving legislation changed and the contents of the test changed. The Result? Everybody panicked and wanted to do the test before the "big change" came. I had to wait two full months before I could take that test again. The test did get harder, and you are obliged to incorporate GPS into the test now. It's not like it's worlds apart. It's still very feasible, there's just some extra stuff you need to take into account.

Today, everything seemed to go really well up until the GPS sent me down a street that was closed off. The examiner didn't even care. My teacher had to open his mouth and defend me (he's not even allowed to speak during the exam). Due to that very confusing event, nerves started to kick in. The examiner sent me into 2 traffic jams while I did what I could. He berated me for the split second choices I made. Stress kicked into higher gear. I made it back and the dude scoffed and failed me. After 34 hours of driving lessons, I spent € 3400 total and boatloads of time and energy on this driver's license crap.

It got me thinking. Those 2 times I actually, really believed in myself, I got shot down mercilessly.

I'm 29, 30 in december. I had a very troubled childhood and puberty. I was emotionally and physically abused. No one cared for me and looked out for me except my grandmother. As long as I kept my mouth shut, had good grades and did my mom's and stepdads' bidding, nothing would happen. The moment I opened my mouth, or got a bad grade, shit hit the fan. I have a younger half brother. I had to look out for him growing up, since his own father (my step father) and mother didn't do so. My mom cheated on my stepdad with other men. I Knew but I had to keep it a secret just to protect my brother and mother. If my stepdad had known he would've kicked the living shit out of all of us.

My biological parents divorced when I was 2 because my dad is an alcoholic. I had little contact with him growing up. Saw the guy once every two weeks, but he was too busy being an irresponsible drunk then. He moved further away and tackled his alcohol problem. He's been sober for around 10 years now. Or that's what he tells me, because I've heard otherwise. No real bond to speak of here.

My parents never payed for my education. My dad wanted to, but only if my mom did. She didn't so I got nothing. Nevertheless, I got 2 bachelor degrees by myself. Around age 22, I still lived with my mom. Tensions were super high at home. My stepdad at that time was an Iranian refugee whom she married behind every body's back so he could get the Belgian nationality. No one likes the guy. He's an overgrown, spoilt, arrogant, hyper jealous superficial brat. He physically abused me and my mom. Just as I was planning to start working and save up some money so I could get the F outta there, my mom decides to move to a smaller apartment with only two bedrooms. I had to share a bedroom with my brother again. I also had a(n emotionally abusive) GF for 3 years by then, so under no circumstances was it a good idea to move into that apartment. I moved out and started working retail since I had to pay the bills. I still have the same job to this day.

My grandmother passed away 3 years ago.

I've been trying so hard to move forward. I see a therapist (3 years now). She has helped me get to the roots of my issues and I understand them. It has helped me a great deal, mentally. I've got amazing friends, I applied for lots of jobs, I've sought career counsel, and, as you read, I picked up driving lessons to augment my job opportunities.

It looks like I've made leaps towards the right direction. I've been addicted to weed and conquered that. I've had a second emotionally abusive relationship and terminated that. I've tackled my suicidal tendencies. I've learned to set my boundaries and I try to be a very open, honest and sincere human being. And today, today was just another big fuck you to my face. Everything I try, everything I do, it all seems in vain. I'm still stuck on the shitty job, I still have the same trust-, emotional- and commitment issues. I genuinely hate people. I believe in nothing anymore.There's just no end to it and I'm failing to keep my head up straight and to keep moving. My energy's gone, my battery's dead and I just don't want this anymore. I'm exhausted and I've got fuck all to show for it.

My apologies if this sounds like a terrible Linkin Park song, but I'd like to get some input from you guys. It sounds absurd to tell this shit to complete internet strangers, but I know there's some of you out there that have been through so much more and are doing fine today. So please, share your wisdom with me.

 

[Blackquill]

Got back from my therapist like always I'm even more angry and anxious now.

Just finished my finals and now I have some days off thing is. I now hate when I have some days off since it's basically me doing nothing all day and just staying at my house doing absolutely nothing and just hoping the something will happen and waiting to be destroyed by my depression.

The 2 things she had suggested is travelling with a group (because travelling alone for me is just too depressing) but I just checked I don't have many choices. The other thing is just applying for student job all around the town, and since I know that finding a job is really exhausting and at this time of the year finding a job is basically near impossible.

So basically I got pissed off because it's been almost 3 years that I see various therapists and that's all they can do for me ? I really had enough with them.

And we didn't have time to finish it properly I was so angry, so sad at the moment and she got a phone call and just say "it's over, come again next week", fuck off, really fuck off.

 

[Choomp]

What do I do when there's something eating me alive that I really don't feel comfortable telling anyone else? It's a very complex and weird issue that I don't want to share with anyone except a therapist, and I probably have to wait a few days for an appointment. Eating me alive. Losing sleep over it. It's a stupid obsession problem, but I need to tell someone. Is there anyone I could trust to PM with a very specific, weird and complex story of why I'm at my lowest point ever right now? I feel like telling someone over the web could be easier. Please PM me or respond as soon as possible. Please please please help

 

[brianjones]

Just thought I'd share a little anecdote from my life for anyone else on the fence over taking antidepressants.

I've had depression since I was a young teen, and despite being presented many opportunities to take antidepressants, I always backed out due to fear of side effects/changing me, etc.

Recently I've had hard times and I could feel my mood was dropping fast, and I wouldn't be able to get therapy soon enough to help. The way my thoughts were going, I realised my survival depending on intervention, and finally took antidepressants.

I know everyone reacts differently to them, but for me it's been revelatory. The "fog" has been significantly lifted and there's no side effects to speak of, even on a low dose. It feels bizarre to have made more progress with my depression by taking a pill than years of therapy and mental self discipline ever managed.

I guess it really was mostly chemical, after all? I knew the science of depression inside out, but for some reason I never really confronted the reality myself, and insisted I should find other means of dealing with it. But fuck, I regret not taking them years ago, I look back at so many situations that could have been improved had my mind not been getting in the way.

I'm not writing this to urge anyone to take them too as I know everyone has their own ways of coping with depression, but I thought it might be valuable to share for anyone else in a similar situation. I'm still gonna continue with therapy, which I'm excited for, as I feel like I can make even more progress now.

good to hear.. I've had generally good experiences with antidepressants except for the first 2 weeks starting them and trying to get off them is hellish too

sometimes I feel like they make me too complacent with my life though.. my mood will be fine even though I have every reason to be depressed.. and the numbing feeling, like I couldn't cry even if I wanted to is kind of frustrating.. sometimes a good cry is healing

 

[Violet_0]

What do I do when there's something eating me alive that I really don't feel comfortable telling anyone else? It's a very complex and weird issue that I don't want to share with anyone except a therapist, and I probably have to wait a few days for an appointment. Eating me alive. Losing sleep over it. It's a stupid obsession problem, but I need to tell someone. Is there anyone I could trust to PM with a very specific, weird and complex story of why I'm at my lowest point ever right now? I feel like telling someone over the web could be easier. Please PM me or respond as soon as possible. Please please please help

I'm just gonna quote/bump this for visibility because this seems urgent. I'm not the right person to talk to, but and there's a number of good peeps here that can help you, perhaps

 

[opticalmace]

What do I do when there's something eating me alive that I really don't feel comfortable telling anyone else? It's a very complex and weird issue that I don't want to share with anyone except a therapist, and I probably have to wait a few days for an appointment. Eating me alive. Losing sleep over it. It's a stupid obsession problem, but I need to tell someone. Is there anyone I could trust to PM with a very specific, weird and complex story of why I'm at my lowest point ever right now? I feel like telling someone over the web could be easier. Please PM me or respond as soon as possible. Please please please help

Feel free to PM me if you'd like. I'm not sure if you're already chatting with someone about it.

I can't say I know much but I can try.

 

[Choomp]

I'm just gonna quote/bump this for visibility because this seems urgent. I'm not the right person to talk to, but and there's a number of good peeps here that can help you, perhaps

Hey, thanks so much, but when you actually hear what it's about you'll realize it's over one of the dumbest things ever and I'm just thinking way too much and letting it destroy me.

 

[Violet_0]

Hey, thanks so much, but when you actually hear what it's about you'll realize it's over one of the dumbest things ever and I'm just thinking way too much and letting it destroy me.

it might help to just talk about it to someone you can trust and get it out of the system, like opticalmace for example. We all have the tendency to overthink the most ridiculous things

 

[Choomp]

it might help to just talk about it to someone you can trust and get it out of the system, like opticalmace for example. We all have the tendency to overthink the most ridiculous things

Thanks, yeah, I PM'd him and someone else. I really hope I can feel better about this soon.

 

[chronic_archaic]

Just thought I'd share a little anecdote from my life for anyone else on the fence over taking antidepressants.

I've had depression since I was a young teen, and despite being presented many opportunities to take antidepressants, I always backed out due to fear of side effects/changing me, etc.

Recently I've had hard times and I could feel my mood was dropping fast, and I wouldn't be able to get therapy soon enough to help. The way my thoughts were going, I realised my survival depending on intervention, and finally took antidepressants.

I know everyone reacts differently to them, but for me it's been revelatory. The "fog" has been significantly lifted and there's no side effects to speak of, even on a low dose. It feels bizarre to have made more progress with my depression by taking a pill than years of therapy and mental self discipline ever managed.

I guess it really was mostly chemical, after all? I knew the science of depression inside out, but for some reason I never really confronted the reality myself, and insisted I should find other means of dealing with it. But fuck, I regret not taking them years ago, I look back at so many situations that could have been improved had my mind not been getting in the way.

I'm not writing this to urge anyone to take them too as I know everyone has their own ways of coping with depression, but I thought it might be valuable to share for anyone else in a similar situation. I'm still gonna continue with therapy, which I'm excited for, as I feel like I can make even more progress now.

I've become so distraught with antidepressents that it's almost numb taking them. I've been on them since I was 15, and I wonder how I would change if I dropped all the medications I take today just to see if things would be different. I think my biggest issue is I've almost always been on these drugs for OCD symptoms, and I wonder if my actual depression stems from taking these medications in the first place - since I never experienced it until a few years ago, but that could also be attributed to where I was personally. It's odd how those drugs work for some people and don't for others. My OCD certainly hasn't gotten better or worse since I was 17 anyway. And I'm 20 now.

 

[Menthuss]

Thanks, yeah, I PM'd him and someone else. I really hope I can feel better about this soon.

If you still need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a PM as well.

 

[Glazed]

do medications for depression and/or anxiety really help