Seeing her smiling and happy I find both comforting and depressing. Pisses me off that I could find something like that depressing.
I've thought I have been a shitty person for awhile now but last night was the worst I felt in a while. Still feels like a dream I went through all that shit and wrote that post. Running on little sleep but I don't feel tired at all. As corny and hilarious as this will sound I was hoping I would have dreams about her when I went to sleep. I didn't.I totally get this, man. Being forced to confront the fact that you might not be as good a person as you always thought you were is uncomfortable. Guess it goes to show just how horrible the effects of loneliness can be over time.
I know this thread itself is partially for venting, but anybody here is welcome to PM me for whatever reason if you feel like it.
Just got a reference letter from my economics professor I had over the summer. Made me feel real good about myself. Said I was the best student in his class and one of the best students he's had in his 50 years of teaching. A little over a decade ago I graduated college the first time with a GPA a little over 2.0 and convinced I was simply an inherently bad student, and now I've got a 4.0. Change is possible my friends. It just takes baby steps. And believe me I've felt just as hopeless as many of you have. I have no idea how many times I complained in these very threads about wishing I could go back to school and do something with my life.
It makes me wonder. I've felt just as hopeless about my likelihood of finding some purpose in life as I have about ever having a dating/love-life. I still feel a sense of hopeless about ever dating and being in a relationship, but maybe that's just as much a possibility? It sure doesn't feel like it, but prove me wrong, life. Any day now...........
Yeah, I've seen him post the same sentiment about wanting to do drugs or become a alcoholic many times. As a person coming off of a many month binge of passing out shitfaced every night and gets anxious and desperate at the mere mention of a beer, can't help but feel some type of way at how flippantly he wishes for terrible things to happen. Mainly alcoholism, cuz based on my personal experience and my family's history... It's no Everest to climb.Please stop responding to neojubei.
Like, I'm on the same level of self-loathing, but his post's are just attention seeking.
Like, no. You don't want to have cancer or be an alcoholic. Those things aren't fantasies.
Those are real struggles.
I'm going through that.
For this poster to just fantasize about the shit I'm going through is ridiculous.
I understand the feeling but it's counter intuitive really. You'd just make things worse and add one more thing that you'll hate yourself for. Being addicted to booze or drugs would just distract you from trying to strive to better yourself at least that's how I view it.
Yeah, I've seen him post the same sentiment about wanting to do drugs or become a alcoholic many times. As a person coming off of a many month binge of passing out shitfaced every night and gets anxious and desperate at the mere mention of a beer, can't help but feel some type of way at how flippantly he wishes for terrible things to happen. Mainly alcoholism, cuz based on my personal experience and my family's history... It's no Everest to climb.
Wanting to escape is normal, but saying you wish you had cancer or alcoholism is rude to the people here who struggle with those things.I know i am just frustrated with life. I try to drink but i just don't like the taste of alcohol, no matter how much i pretend in front of others. I just want something that can make me feel like i am in a waking dream so i dont have to feel or think about anything when i am awake.
Wanting to escape is normal, but saying you wish you had cancer or alcoholism is rude to the people here who struggle with those things.
Have you tried music to escape? It works really well for me.
Well, I'd go on a date with you if I could. I bet if you put yourself out there, someone would bite. Just don't be unreasonable with your expectations.Usually i'll drown myself in fast-food or buy stuff on amazon to take my mind off things. Or if i am really down i watch boyfriend tag videos on youtube to make myself feel worse.
Just got a reference letter from my economics professor I had over the summer. Made me feel real good about myself. Said I was the best student in his class and one of the best students he's had in his 50 years of teaching. A little over a decade ago I graduated college the first time with a GPA a little over 2.0 and convinced I was simply an inherently bad student, and now I've got a 4.0. Change is possible my friends. It just takes baby steps. And believe me I've felt just as hopeless as many of you have. I have no idea how many times I complained in these very threads about wishing I could go back to school and do something with my life.
It makes me wonder. I've felt just as hopeless about my likelihood of finding some purpose in life as I have about ever having a dating/love-life. I still feel a sense of hopeless about ever dating and being in a relationship, but maybe that's just as much a possibility? It sure doesn't feel like it, but prove me wrong, life. Any day now...........
Well, I'd go on a date with you if I could. I bet if you put yourself out there, someone would bite. Just don't be unreasonable with your expectations.
Having a hard time lately; I think my bi-yearly bout of severe depression and anxiety is starting to begin. I needed to be hospitalized a few years ago. I have a wife and kid, and I just feel like a stranger - don't feel like I have a place anywhere. If I were gone or something happened to me, what would be missed most would be my income. I'm tired of the weekly grind of work, picking my daughter up, taking her to gymnastics, making dinner, homework / housework. I just wasn't wired for this type of life and that makes me feel guilty. I just want it to be over - I have zero left to give.
Sucks that you're dealing with that. And it sucks that I'd love the life that you're not fitting in. I'd love to have a wife and daughter, and to stay busy doing weekly routines with them. Life would feel so much more meaningful that way
Sucks that you're dealing with that. And it sucks that I'd love the life that you're not fitting in. I'd love to have a wife and daughter, and to stay busy doing weekly routines with them. Life would feel so much more meaningful that way
i've actually stop saying that i wish i had cancer, but no one notices.
Music doesn't help when i am feeling lonely. The soundtrack i love listening to hurts me even more since its a soundtrack for a show about 2 guys failing in love. I decided if and when i die i want that album to be the last thing i listen to. Even though i know i will never find love least i could die feeling how much the music and show made me wish i could meet someone.
Usually i'll drown myself in fast-food or buy stuff on amazon to take my mind off things. Or if i am really down i watch boyfriend tag videos on youtube to make myself feel worse.
Seeing her smiling and happy I find both comforting and depressing. Pisses me off that I could find something like that depressing.
I've discovered through the years that many people, not just us, (the socially awkward, melancholic, loners) have feelings like this.I think for most of us the fight is to repress or suppress those feelings. Not many people will admit it to themselves, so I believe you have a leg up on most in terms of self-awareness.
I've discovered through the years that many people, not just us, (the socially awkward, melancholic, loners) have feelings like this.I think for most of us the fight is to repress or suppress those feelings. Not many people will admit it to themselves, so I believe you have a leg up on most in terms of self-awareness.
I have found it beneficial but you really have to push yourself to get it done. I have tendency to push things I want to do the next day or after but it gets done eventually.Has anyone else done something similar before?
Yup, just got back from vacation and still feel like shit.
I thought the problem was this girl, but seeing how I'm handling it it's clearly me.
I've just been in bed all day doing fucking nothing and hating myself, haven't felt this way in years and I think it's depression. I have stuff that I have to get done before the 12th of this month, and I have absolutely zero motivation to do it. I could be doing it now but here I am being miserable, and not eating a single thing at all today. I think I should seek help but don't even know where to look, I'm a mess man, been suppressing this for years and it's all falling down on me.
To combat this, while I try new meds/more therapy, I am also tasking myself with a daily set of objectives so I don't waste this time lying in bed all day.
Has anyone else done something similar before?
I feel like an empty shell. There's nothing to me anymore. Nothing interests me. I'll frequently just lie down on the couch and stare into space for an hour and hope I fall asleep just to make the time pass more quickly. I can't even muster the enthusiasm to play games or watch movies anymore. I'm so tired and lonely.
that sounds awful, im sorry, and, sometimes we could use a break from the family, why not get better so you can travel to some place you can enjoy by yourself? does that sounds good to you?Made a call to my therapist to give him a heads up about the huge ass fight my mother had with me, along with the incidents today, her kicking me off the tv because she hated the show I was watching, listening in to my call with my therapist and using things I said as ammo against me like what I said wasn't true.
My dad in denial about my cancer telling me I shouldn't say I have cancer, and that i have to think that i don't have cancer, when I do.
My mom is too.
Yet, my mom still finds new ways to be shitty to me and it sucks. I love these people so much but sometimes I don't even think we know each other, and we certainly don't care about each others interests or sacrifices.
Honestly, I hope the cancer kills me so I don't have to live through this shit anymore. I'm so fucking miserable and unhappy, and my relationship with my parents is so weird and fucked.
I'm tired of feeling like I have this sovereign duty to them when they don't... just fuck it all. I don't even want to think about it anymore. I really don't.
I am so fucking tired of trying to make things work out, I just wanna get rich and go away and die.
How's ur luck on dating sites?
This has been me lately.. If you find anything that helps you, let me know