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Mom goes off on store clerk who made racist comment to her kids

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diaspora

Member
"B-bu-but i-it wasn't racist. Only ignorant and condescending."

Do some people legitimately think racism starts and stops at screaming slurs?
 

diaspora

Member
Well if it's uncommon the displayed reaction might have been ignorant, inappropriate or condescending but not necessarily racist. That's why I asked the question. No serious answer yet...

So, it's racist. What exactly do you think racism is? This is honestly hilarious.
 

Henkka

Banned
So, it's racist. What exactly do you think racism is? This is honestly hilarious.

Saying it's racist means her reaction was based on race over anything else... So are we saying there's no possible way she would've made the "trick or treating" comment to a bunch of white kids dressed in Gáktis? The only reason she said it is because she's racist toward black people?
 

Slayven

Member
You prove my point. You love fueling the fire don't you? You don't know shit about being discriminated. I'm a minority and I would of never handled something like she did.

This could of easily been solved in a RESPECTFUL manner.
Did MLK stormed into the White House using profanity?
And he accomplished a lot.

and they still blew his brains out

He isn't your Exodia The Forbidden
 
Saying it's racist means her reaction was based on race over anything else... So are we saying there's no possible way she would've made the "trick or treating" comment to a bunch of white kids dressed in Gáktis? The only reason she said it is because she's racist toward black people?

Why are you talking about hypothetical white kids that weren't there instead of the actual black kids that were the victims of her racist comment?
 
The cracker comment comes from the video description.

Also, I love how instead of admitting that 'cracker' is a pejorative, Mammoth instead makes a snarky comment about how I'm making it all about racism against white people, which isn't the REAL problem in America.

That's because that's what you were doing. Give me a break. You latched onto it like a newborn on a nipple. I wonder why.....

Which of course doesn't sound at all like "black people have it worse, so racist remarks against white people are okay". Apparently acknowledging an offense means you're trying to rewrite the narrative completely so that it's all about that offense and not the offense that triggered it.

My point has been extremely consistent throughout this entire thread. So if your sensibilities are ruffled I suggest you go re-read what I've been writing line by line:

The cashier fucked up and should have kept her bigoted mouth the fuck shut. The ENTIRE continuation of this discussion is by posters trying to pull some false-equivalence out of their ass to try or to outright say what the cashier did wasn't a big deal.

Oe just ignorant. Regardless doesn't change the reaction.

No, not JUST ignorant.

Once again: Ignorance and bigotry go hand in hand. You don't say something like that without both ignorance and bigotry at work.

The bigotry is that you think it's ok to say shit like that to customers.

The ignorance is not knowing what cultural garb that is.
 
Saying it's racist means her reaction was based on race over anything else... So are we saying there's no possible way she would've made the "trick or treating" comment to a bunch of white kids dressed in Gáktis? The only reason she said it is because she's racist toward black people?

We can't read minds. So why are we getting into hypotheticals? Who knows what she would do. I'm not gonna speculate. What she did right here and now was some racist ass ignorant shit. Plain and simple.

Side note. I'm sure a lot of slaves called their masters crackers. I'm sure a lot of Native American's back in the day had some pretty nasty names for.white people. I'm not gonna scold the oppressed for lashing out against their oppressors RIGHT AFTER being degraded. Yall are.fucking being dishonest as hell if you wanna go down that route.
 
So, it's racist. What exactly do you think racism is? This is honestly hilarious.

How about you give a clear definition of what racism is? Because being condescending, inappropriate or ignorant is not sufficient to be racist. If it is sufficient then you'd be racist right now because you're definitely being condescending.
 

Henkka

Banned
Why are you talking about hypothetical white kids that weren't there instead of the actual black kids that were the victims of her racist comment?

I thought it was obvious... If it was based on race, she would treat white kids differently, no? That's what racism means. But I just don't see why we would assume that she wouldn't have reacted in the exact same way to white kids wearing strangle clothing she didn't recognize. Maybe she would have, we ultimately can't know.
 

Htown

STOP SHITTING ON MY MOTHER'S HEADSTONE
You prove my point. You love fueling the fire don't you? You don't know shit about being discriminated. I'm a minority and I would of never handled something like she did.

This could of easily been solved in a RESPECTFUL manner.
Did MLK stormed into the White House using profanity?
And he accomplished a lot.

You don't give a fuck about Martin Luther King
 

diaspora

Member
Saying it's racist means her reaction was based on race over anything else... So are we saying there's no possible way she would've made the "trick or treating" comment to a bunch of white kids dressed in Gáktis? The only reason she said it is because she's racist toward black people?
That didn't happen though, what did happen is they gave some black kids some snide bullshit.
 
You prove my point. You love fueling the fire don't you? You don't know shit about being discriminated. I'm a minority and I would of never handled something like she did.

This could of easily been solved in a RESPECTFUL manner.
Did MLK stormed into the White House using profanity?
And he accomplished a lot.

MLK didn't use profanity, but it didn't change how people thought of him at that time.

You know what else he did? He dressed well. Guess how many times he got arrested?
 

thelatestmodel

Junior, please.
Both parties in the wrong here.

Totally inappropriate to come in cursing like that. I understand that you're angry, but you're making a scene and not setting a good example.
 

Hylian7

Member
I'm legitimately surprised people here actually believe what the clerk said somehow was not racist. This is EXACTLY like someone calling a woman wearing a hijab a "terrorist" or something like that. I don't know how you could possibly see it in any other way.

Her kids hearing some curse words is nothing, and on top of that, it should teach them that racism is something that shouldn't tolerate. Good on the mother for doing that.
 
Both parties in the wrong here.

Totally inappropriate to come in cursing like that. I understand that you're angry, but you're making a scene and not setting a good example.

How should people react to racism? With a smile and "please let's discuss".

I remember when I was about 9 years old, went to Zimbabwe for hols with my mum, younger sister and brother and at a restaurant we were continuously being ignored while quite a fair few white people coming in left, right and centre were being served first.

My mum lost her shit after an hour of waiting and snapped in the same way as the mother in the video at the waiter (who was black) and manager.
Taught me and my siblings to stand up for ourselves when not being treated right.

Mind you my mum has naturally instilled all the virtues to us of being polite and respectful to everyone.
But, sometimes you just don't sit back and eat shit.
 

Peagles

Member
FWIW I look back on similar acts (both race-related and otherwise) by my own parents with huge feelings of pride and gratefulness, even if they did lose their cool a bit.
 

Sande

Member
I'm legitimately surprised people here actually believe what the clerk said somehow was not racist. This is EXACTLY like someone calling a woman wearing a hijab a "terrorist" or something like that. I don't know how you could possibly see it in any other way..
That's quite different. Calling someone a terrorist is directly attacking a person for their ethnicity. "Is that for Halloween?" can go for any unusual clothing on any person.

The point is, a remark like that could stem from something other than racism. Whether it did or not, none of us know. Some don't like to pretend that they know when they don't.

It's a pretty dumb and inconsiderate thing to say in any case.
 
I'm legitimately surprised people here actually believe what the clerk said somehow was not racist. This is EXACTLY like someone calling a woman wearing a hijab a "terrorist" or something like that. I don't know how you could possibly see it in any other way.

Her kids hearing some curse words is nothing, and on top of that, it should teach them that racism is something that shouldn't tolerate. Good on the mother for doing that.

Bullshit. First of all, you're trying to equate a statement which could be innocuous (the clerk's statement) with one that is always negative -- calling someone a terrorist, regardless of context, is always pejorative. Second of all, hijabs are much more prominent in Western media (news, movies and a plethora of TV shows) and so it's pretty likely that when a caucasian American sees a woman wearing a hijab, that person thinks the woman is Muslim. And Muslim terrorists especially receive coverage in the US in different ways.

But how prominent is traditional African clothing in Western media? Relatively, it's not anywhere near as prominent. Hell, I'm lumping it up as traditional African clothing because I have a hazy idea of what it looks like and I don't know any distinctions between clothing in different African countries and ethnic groups.

It's just ignorance and ignorance is neither sufficient nor necessary for racism.
 
Bullshit. First of all, you're trying to equate a statement which could be innocuous (the clerk's statement) with one that is always negative -- calling someone a terrorist, regardless of context, is always pejorative. Second of all, hijabs are much more prominent in Western media (news, movies and a plethora of TV shows) and so it's pretty likely that when a caucasian American sees a woman wearing a hijab, that person thinks the woman is Muslim. And Muslim terrorists especially receive coverage in the US in different ways.

But how prominent is traditional African clothing in Western media? Relatively, it's not anywhere near as prominent. Hell, I'm lumping it up as traditional African clothing because I have a hazy idea of what it looks like and I don't know any distinctions between clothing in different African countries and ethnic groups.

It's just ignorance and ignorance is neither sufficient nor necessary for racism.

I agree about your comments on the terrorist thing. Bad analogy for sure.

But one does NOT need to know the specifics of if the garb is African, Arab or whatever to know it's SOME form of "Ethnic" (aka not White) dress.

She is not mentally challenged by the looks of it. So she knows that. The bigotry comes into play when she decides to make the snide remark about if its halloween. That wasn't a serious question born of ignorance. A serious question born of ignorance would been "Oh, what do you have on? I've never seen that before".

And there's nothing wrong with ignorance if it's from a place of honestly not knowing and humbly and respectfully being willing to be informed.

This wasn't that. This wasn't ignorance. It was passive aggressive jab at non-White clothing. She was asking a rhetorical question. She did not expect a serous answer. It was her way of poking fun at their clothes. Which in totality makes it bigoted as fuck.
 
I agree about your comments on the terrorist thing. Bad analogy for sure.

But one does NOT need to know the specifics of if the garb is African, Arab or whatever to know it's SOME form of "Ethnic" (aka not White) dress.

There's no reason to think that she knows it's any kind of ethnic clothing.

She is not mentally challenged by the looks of it. So she knows that. The bigotry comes into play when she decides to make the snide remark about if its halloween. That wasn't a serious question born of ignorance. A serious question born of ignorance would been "Oh, what do you have on? I've never seen that before".

And there's nothing wrong with ignorance if it's from a place of honestly not knowing and humbly and respectfully being willing to be informed.

This wasn't that. This wasn't ignorance. It was passive aggressive jab at non-White clothing. She was asking a rhetorical question. She did not expect a serous answer. It was her way of poking fun at their clothes. Which in totality makes it bigoted as fuck.

You're already starting from the assumption that she recognizes it's some form of ethnic clothing -- it's an unjustified assumption. There is no good reason to think that. Just because you recognize it as such doesn't mean others will.

To the woman, who might have no idea that it's ethnic clothing, her intention could have been to have lighthearted conversation.

I have no idea why you think you can speak on such authority of why she asked the question as if you were there or you saw the video of her talking to the kids. Such presumption is ridiculous.
 
There's no reason to think that she knows it's any kind of ethnic clothing.

She has eyes, dude.

You're already starting from the assumption that she recognizes it's some form of ethnic clothing -- it's an unjustified assumption. There is no good reason to think that. Just because you recognize it as such doesn't mean others will.

Is this really the position you want to defend? Ok. Let's get really pedantic about this: She recognized it as SOME form of clothing she was unfamiliar with. Period. And her first thought if she's really curious isn't to politely ask. It's to make a snotty snide comment about halloween in fucking September? Are you really serious?

To the woman, who might have no idea that it's ethnic clothing, her intention could have been lighthearted conversation.

I'm sure she thought it was from the perspective of "Anything that ain't White is funny and silly to me...let me joke with em!"

I have no idea why you think you can speak on such authority of why she asked the question as if you were there or you saw the video of her talking to the kids. Such presumption is ridiculous.

Maybe because I have a fuckton of experience with snotty ass passive aggressive people in America that like to say rude and often bigoted shit in a "polite" way so they can double down and claim they weren't being assholes in the first place.

But congrats on going out of your way to give an ignorant bigot the benefit of the doubt. I wish everyone in the US got that same benefit of the doubt.
 
Record incident on phone camera, post on YouTube and revel in the moment of making your point. It truly is a great age we live in and the world is a better place.
It's weird when people post shit like this, like the worst part here is someone standing up for themselves and documenting it rather than someone being racist to fucking kids.
 
It's difficult to watch the video and see the way the teens are dressed and not think the clerk is racist. You'd have to be living under a rock to not have seen people in traditional dress similar to that, and as such her comment is offensive.
 
Last response.

She has eyes, dude.

I had no idea that just seeing an object means that I know details about it.

Is this really the position you want to defend? Ok. Let's get really pedantic about this: She recognized it as SOME form of clothing she was unfamiliar with. Period. And her first thought if she's really curious isn't to politely ask. It's to make a snotty snide comment about halloween in fucking September? Are you really serious?

To her, she might have considered it banter. What makes you the arbitrator of which comments are snide and which are not? Because you're offended by it?

I'm sure she thought it was from the perspective of "Anything that ain't White is funny and silly to me...let me joke with em!"

Apparently I missed her jokes based on the kids' skin color but you have them all down pat.

I mean, she couldn't have just thought the clothing was weird looking or anything. No, there has to be a racial component.

Maybe because I have a fuckton of experience with snotty ass passive aggressive people in America that like to say rude shit in a polite way so they can double down and claim they weren't be assholes in the first place.

Experience with passive aggressive people doesn't give you magical abilities. You haven't heard the actual conversation nor do you know whether or not she thought it was ethnic clothing.

You're just pushing your own issues onto this.
 

Pavaloo

Member
Cmon how can you not see through that Halloween remark? Why would they be dressed up entirely for a holiday that is over a month from now, without bags/candy or saying trick or treat? She was absolutely taking a snide shot at them, not making small talk.
 

iPaul93

Member
Trashy is claiming someone's kids are dressed for Halloween cause they don't look like they're conforming to Whiteness well enough.

Nah,she's trashy.Did you miss my post?It's ok,I'll just quote again what she said.

"Peace, All.
I actually hate it when someone provokes such a reaction from me. However, there are some public displays of crakka behavior that can only be dealt with in such a manner as this. I am sure you all know it is not a reflection of my cultivation or refinement, but most certainly a reflection of my protective mothering. Black children need to see their dignity being forcefully (if necessary) defended.
Peace."


Also,take a chill pill,bro.You seem really mad.
 

Principate

Saint Titanfall
I watch American movies and TV shows all of the time. I've been to the states. I have never seen American black people dressed like that.

You realise not every black person in America has had their family live their for generations and that people from Africa actually do emigrate their, much like any nationality.

This is ignoring that Even those "natve" black American's aren't a monolith in the first place.

Sometimes I wonder if people think their questions through before asking.
 
Last response.

Good. You're being willfully ignorant and extending the benefit of the doubt to a rude and bigoted employee for reasons "unknown".


I had no idea that just seeing an object means that I know details about it..

A human being in Indiana is incapable of seeing an object and identifying it as clothes she's unfamiliar with? You're full of shit.


To her, she might have considered it banter. What makes you the arbitrator of which comments are snide and which are not? Because you're offended by it?

I don't give two flying shits what she considers it to be. She's at work and needs to shut the fuck up about customers clothing. I've worked plenty of cash registers. You don't do that. Plenty of option in the banter department. Never said I'm the arbiter. You just seem to have a problem with someone calling this out for the bigotry and ignorance it is. Tough shit for you?


Apparently I missed her jokes based on the kids' skin color but you have them all down pat.

This has fuckall to do with the conversation but you seem to be implying that because she didn't bring up skin color it can't be bigoted or racist. This is more of that "the real outrage is pointing out racism and bigotry!"

I mean, she couldn't have just thought the clothing was weird looking or anything. No, there has to be a racial component.

Once again, it's very telling you're MORE offended at the implication there COULD be a racial/ethnic component to this. Fucking sad that's what really grind your gears rather than the snide remark made by the cashier.


Experience with passive aggressive people doesn't give you magical abilities. You haven't heard the actual conversation nor do you know whether or not she thought it was ethnic clothing.

I never claimed to be magical. Do me a favor and fall back with the hyperbole. I've explained time and time again it's irrelevant if she's ignorant of that clothing. The point is you don't make fun of someone wearing something unfamiliar. If you don't know that at your age that's on you.

You're just pushing your own issues onto this.

I'm giving my opinion on the issue as everyone else is in this thread. If you don't like that tough titty for you?
 
Saying it's racist means her reaction was based on race over anything else... So are we saying there's no possible way she would've made the "trick or treating" comment to a bunch of white kids dressed in Gáktis? The only reason she said it is because she's racist toward black people?

Here's the problem, you'd have to assume one would legitimately ask if one would be "trick or treating" in the 2nd week of September just with anyone. I don't understand why one would. And why would you be joking with people you don't know. We know she had malice behind it because a customer said on video that they wanted to get her supervisor on the phone too based off that comment. That's a irrefutable fact.

We are seeing the same context clues in the video right?
 
Cmon how can you not see through that Halloween remark? Why would they be dressed up entirely for a holiday that is over a month from now, without bags/candy or saying trick or treat? She was absolutely taking a snide shot at them, not making small talk.
The funny thing is that her ass knows when Halloween starts since Family Dollar gets covered and filled with Halloween shit during that month. She knew what she was doing, and apparently it didn't go by well.
 
Also,take a chill pill,bro.You seem really mad.

Of course I seem mad. I'm sure I seem aggressive when I refuse to kowtow to bigotry and ignorance. And have to explain the same points over and over to some folks in this thread that want to willfully ignore them. Then want to criticize the manner in which a mother addresses the disrespect given to her children.

I'm not here to smile. I'm here to engage in the discussion.
 
I've been reading this mom's (Chief LeTava Mabilijengo) website... what a cool, passionate person, raising strong and self-assured kids. Too bad she stopped blogging a few years ago, but what's there is often powerful.

I thought this post in particular was extremely relevant to this situation.

Having lived this way for nearly a decade, I can say with great clarity that liberation living is understandably a tough commitment to make. It engages, engulfs and literally swallows up all areas of my life. My identity sometimes becomes blurred as my efforts become my name.

As if that were not enough, the more I progressed toward my truest Afrikan self, the further I seem to be pulled from the masses of the people who look like me. Then I realized that there is even a subtle distinction between me and the people who sound like me. And as I am taking this very private and personal journey alone, while with others who are also taking their own personal and private journeys, I realize this communal living thing-- this liberation lifestyle can be some deep and scary shit.

With so much at stake, its hard not to encounter self-doubt during needed times of self-reflection. The weight of my next generation dangling on the integrity of my every decision, the occasional sleepless nights are unavoidable.

Its had work to say the least, but most significantly it's a tremendous sacrifice on everyone's part. Babylon is constantly courting my children. The older they get, the more they recognize that "other people" don't live like this. The winds of change are always howling and the mortality of my motherhood takes a seat at the foot of my bed.

I have learned to smile in the face of most adversity. My "still here-ness" having long since outweighed most of my fears, I tend to bet on the long shots. I sent for these children, and unless I believe my Ancestors to be liars, I owe this investment everything I've got and some stuff I ain't got yet.

Yeah... This liberation living can be some deep and scary shit.

I used to look at some of the seemingly "stupid" choices my adult children were making and think to myself, "Don't they have sense enough to be afraid of some of this shit?" That thought was usually interrupted by the timeliness of one of my younger children unwittingly reminding me that I raised them to be a fearless and formidable team.

This too, was by design.
Rearing my children in this way, challenges me to never get old. I am always forced forward by the generations coming behind me. My children and my grandchildren grow me into my future self as I am preparing them for their's.

I am reminded that I am the soil and root system of all that my children have the potential to be, but I must also help them to cultivate the fruits of this living. I remain mindful that every moment with a child is a teaching moment. Having more adult children now than youth, the lessons for them are also lessons for me.

I am a different woman than the one my first children met. While living my duty to teach my children to love, be responsible and put family first, I inadvertently signed on to teach them to succeed, weather heartache and survive divorce with both parties' dignity intact.

My life's lesson are still coming at great cost, but at this point in my life I know how to negotiate for premium returns on my investments. As every moment is a teaching moment, I have given my children a front row seat to their mother's current courtship.

I am open to suggestions as to how I could share these teachable moments with you.

Okay I bolded practically the whole thing but everybody should read the whole thing.
 
I've been reading this mom's (Chief LeTava Mabilijengo) website... what a cool, passionate person, raising strong and self-assured kids. Too bad she stopped blogging a few years ago, but what's there is often powerful.

I thought this post in particular was extremely relevant to this situation.



Okay I bolded practically the whole thing but everybody should read the whole thing.
Sweet jumping jellybean

Now I see why so many feel sorry for that clerk

Never stood a chance
 
Yeah I think it's safe to say her kids knew exactly what she was going to do, so hopefully that will permanently shut down the "oh her poor kids how embarrassing" argument.

And I'd hope that those who think she came on too strong will carefully consider that post, and perhaps others as well. This seems like a person who knows better than most how to get results in these situations.
 
I've been reading this mom's (Chief LeTava Mabilijengo) website... what a cool, passionate person, raising strong and self-assured kids. Too bad she stopped blogging a few years ago, but what's there is often powerful.

I thought this post in particular was extremely relevant to this situation.



Okay I bolded practically the whole thing but everybody should read the whole thing.
Thanks for this.

I think this should help some of you in a bubble relate to where she's coming from. Our lives are all different and we all have different strategies for life as a result.
 
Yeah I think it's safe to say her kids knew exactly what she was going to do, so hopefully that will permanently shut down the "oh her poor kids how embarrassing" argument.

Pretty sure the main reason why her children told her was under the expectation that she would.

And I'd hope that those who think she came on too strong will carefully consider that post, and perhaps others as well. This seems like a person who knows better than most how to get results in these situations.

Looks like a woman not ashamed to be Black. Good for her. Not sure what "results" she expected prior to the cashier saying what she said.

I wonder if the cashier has a blog we can nitpick apart? Facebook page maybe?
 
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