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[DarkJediKnight]

Let me explain....

My cousin is an early childhood educator. He has his diplomas and pretty much everything you need to work at a daycare and take care of children.

But no one wants to hire him. He showed me his folder of over 200 resumes since last year. He gets an interview once in a blue moon and never lands a job and the answer is always "we felt someone else was a better fit"

He's absolutely wonderful to my nearly 3 year old son, and just an amazing human being.

He lost his twin as a child due to brain aneurysm, and spent a ton of time at children's hospital doing volunteer work and always took pride in the well being of children. His career sort of started there.

His field is 99.9% female, and while I understand the reservation of parents to have a male taking care of their kids, I feel he is being passed on due to his sex despite having far more education and experience than probably anyone else being interviewed for the same position.

I told him he would have better luck working in children's hospitals instead of daycares, but that's where he wants to be and broke down last night over a phone call because his unemployment insurance ran out because he cannot find a job.

EDIT: To those asking him to work in a children's hospital:

He got anxiety working at Children's hospitals. He volunteered for years at the Hospital for Sick Kids in Toronto - which is one of the TOP hospitals in the world.

He couldn't take kids dying. It hit far too close to home because he lost his brother that way.

Oct 2020 Edit:

He passed away this weekend.
Thank you for your suggestions/ advice.

 

[Sanjuro]

Has he seen Mrs. Doubtfire?

 

[Voidguts]

Has he seen Mrs. Doubtfire?

goddamnit
doing the lord's work

 

[Massive Duck. C.M.]

He needs to be applying at every possible place at this point. If nothing else, having proven experience in a similar field could help him eventually get around the reluctance to hire men for daycare

 

[Darkman M]

Yeah, I can believe that sucks man.

 

[Sunster]

yea this is why we need feminism

 

[Supha_Volt]

Has he tried applying at Head Start? I know males that work there as teachers, coordinators, and coaches. It could get his foot in the door to other agencies.

 

[Tagyhag]

I can understand not wanting to work at a certain place but he has to suck it up and just do it. We all been there.

Work at the hospital while applying for the daycare centers.

And yeah he's definitely getting passed because he's a male and that sucks but he can't just sit there and wallow in self-misery. That doesn't pay the bills.

 

[DarkJediKnight]

Has he tried applying at Head Start? I know males that work there as teachers, coordinators, and coaches. It could get his foot in the door to other agencies.

Don't know what that is. He lives in Toronto.

 

[night814]

He needs to be applying at every possible place at this point. If nothing else, having proven experience in a similar field could help him eventually get around the reluctance to hire men for daycare

For sure, if he can get work in a similar scenario it will help future endeavors in the same field. He could also find that if he goes somewhere else he might enjoy it as much if not more so.

 

[Linkstrikesback]

I don't know what to say, sexism does go both ways, even if it doesn't get the chance to flip very often. People have trouble accepting a male could work in those positions without an ulterior motive, which is of course bullshit.

My sister works in a daycare and she's never seen a male employee at any she knows of. Majorly sucks for any male who wants to work with kids.

 

[xxracerxx]

Why is he avoiding children's hospitals? Because he wants to go directly into the area he wants? Nah, tell him to get applying to every job in the field.

 

[TechnicPuppet]

That sucks but he should take whatever role he can in that field. It's easier to get a job when you have a job.

 

[Supha_Volt]

Don't know what that is. He lives in Toronto.

Yeah, it's not in Canada I'm pretty sure. It's working with low income families to get preschool.

 

[vikki]

And that is how the industry is. I've never met a male teacher for in daycare, pre-echool, or school for either of my children. People feel more safe leaving their kids with a woman than a man. And the daycares know that having a male teacher will affect business.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

That sucks. There is a weird stigma towards men working around young children it seems.

 

[perfectchaos007]

Has he seen Mrs. Doubtfire?

Half Baked had a male Kindergarten teacher.

 

[hydragonwarrior]

Don't know what that is. He lives in Toronto.

Well, he does get as far as the interview stage and his experiences in the OP should basically be in his cover letter (but if you get as far as interviews i'm betting he doesn't even need a stellar cover letter anymore).

Toronto's competitive as hell though. Has he thought about working outside the GTA?

Why is he avoiding children's hospitals? Because he wants to go directly into the area he wants? Nah, tell him to get applying to every job in the field.

Yeah with his credentials, he could definitely find something at Hospital for SIck Kids.

 

[Sanjuro]

And that is how the industry is. I've never met a male teacher for in daycare, pre-echool, or school for either of my children. People feel more safe leaving their kids with a woman than a man. And the daycares know that having a male teacher will affect business.

Reminds me of that thread about the asshole dad punching a guy that found someone's lost child. There is a stigma in and out of work profession.

 

[DarkJediKnight]

Why is he avoiding children's hospitals? Because he wants to go directly into the area he wants? Nah, tell him to get applying to every job in the field.

He got anxiety working at Children's hospitals. He volunteered for years at the Hospital for Sick Kids in Toronto - which is one of the TOP hospitals in the world.

He couldn't take kids dying. It hit far too close to home because he lost his brother that way.

 

[norm9]

Not surprised. Dude needs to just apply everywhere and take what he can get.

 

[RumblingRosco]

Why is he avoiding children's hospitals? Because he wants to go directly into the area he wants? Nah, tell him to get applying to every job in the field.

That sucks but he should take whatever role he can in that field. It's easier to get a job when you have a job.

Yep. It sucks, but people will likely trust him more if he has 6-12 months if experience in the field.

 

[androvsky]

I knew a guy that worked for a daycare for a while. There were complaints from parents early on, wondering why he'd want to work for a daycare unless he was a pervert. I think the only way he got the job and the only reason he could keep it was his wife worked there too, that explanation seemed to quiet the complaints.

 

[DarkJediKnight]

Well, he does get as far as the interview stage and his experiences in the OP should basically be in his cover letter (but if you get as far as interviews i'm betting he doesn't even need a stellar cover letter anymore).

Toronto's competitive as hell though. Has he thought about working outside the GTA?

I've looked at his cover letter and resume. It's more than fine. Some places give interviews to meet quotas. They have no intention of hiring.

 

[Massive Duck. C.M.]

He got anxiety working at Children's hospitals. He volunteered for years at the Hospital for Sick Kids in Toronto - which is one of the TOP hospitals in the world.

He couldn't take kids dying. It hit far too close to home because he lost his brother that way.

Ah, that makes sense.

 

[Epsilon-delta]

That sucks. There is a weird stigma towards men working around young children it seems.

Men around young children at all, sadly.

I still remember taking my then 2 yr. old daughter to the playground, and getting dirty looks from a few mothers there.

Ridiculous.

 

[Lunaray]

That sucks OP. Hope you can change his mind about working at a children's hospital.

Edit: my bad, missed the follow up post.

 

[Gai Murakumo]

I am in a sort of similar field (Child and Youth Care) and yeah there is not many males in my field. I was able to work in a Kindergarten for a year a while back and it was great. I truly feel that we need more males that can work with elementary kids and younger. Some of those kids in particular the boys need good male role models in their lives and seeing little to no males at that level is disheartening. Plus I really feel the stigma should end that males cannot work with younger children in an education setting.

 

[DarkJediKnight]

That sucks OP. Hope you can change his mind about working at a children's hospital.

I can't. See my last post

 

[Mr-Joker]

Let me explain....

My cousin is an early childhood educator. He has his diplomas and pretty much everything you need to work at a daycare and take care of children.

But no one wants to hire him. He showed me his folder of over 200 resumes since last year. He gets an interview once in a blue moon and never lands a job and the answer is always "we felt someone else was a better fit"

He's absolutely wonderful to my nearly 3 year old son, and just an amazing human being.

He lost his twin as a child due to brain aneurysm, and spent a ton of time at children's hospital doing volunteer work and always took pride in the well being of children. His career sort of started there.

His field is 99.9% female, and while I understand the reservation of parents to have a male taking care of their kids, I feel he is being passed on due to his sex despite having far more education and experience than probably anyone else being interviewed for the same position.

I told him he would have better luck working in children's hospitals instead of daycares, but that's where he wants to be and broke down last night over a phone call because his unemployment insurance ran out because he cannot find a job.

Sorry to hear that as I too know what it feels like to be rejected from a job purely because of your gender.

But it's much harder for men as people don't feel that men can be victims of sexism.

All I can offer is that he keeps trying and not give up hope.

 

[Sunster]

Men around young children at all, sadly.

I still remember taking my then 2 yr. old daughter to the playground, and getting dirty looks from a few mothers there.

Ridiculous.

I was buying groceries with my 12 year old sister and as we were checking out the cashier said, "OK, I'm sorry. You guys HAVE to be related right?" as in she thought it was more plausible that I was dating a 12 year old than the kid was my sister.

 

[buttery fistful]

Watch a bastardized version of the OP show up on breitbart

 

[TheBryanJZX90]

Men around young children at all, sadly.

I still remember taking my then 2 yr. old daughter to the playground, and getting dirty looks from a few mothers there.

Ridiculous.

Your own kid at the playground? That's weird dads take their kids to playgrounds all the time, I know I do and I see plenty of other dads doing it. Was your kid like acting all suspicious of you or something?

Also for OP does your cousin happen to be a sports guy? A couple of my daughter's preschools have had male teachers that come by for visits once a month or so as a gym teacher essentially. Could be another way to get the foot in the door.

 

[shira]

Don't know what that is. He lives in Toronto.

Has he applied at the YMCA. They do not discriminate hiring. It's in their motto

 

[benicillin]

What jobs specifically is he applying for? Private daycares, Head Start, public/private preschool? Education is also super hard to get into because a lot of jobs have internal applicants or know somebody who knows somebody. Breaking in is tough, but stick with it.

 

[Stinkles]

We have loads of male kindergarten, daycare, TA and other positions in Seattle. My daughter had a male daycare teacher and has a male afterschool program guy now. Maybe different regions have different tolerance.

 

[Glass Shark]

.

 

[pigeon]

yea this is why we need feminism

This is exactly what I was thinking. The stigma about male caretakers of children is a disgusting consequence of patriarchy. It should be destroyed along with all the other rigid gender roles that fuck people's lives up.

 

[Skellig Gra]

That's okay, he has an advantage in pretty much every other aspect of his life.

Not if he can’t get a job. This same mentality leads to men not getting paternity leave at jobs which leads to women having to go back to work earlier. Big snowball effect.

 

[muu]

Sucks man. Hopefully he can find somewhere that'll take him in. I believe our daycare has one teacher now that's male, and wish there were more. I mean, shit, at this point I'm (and to a lesser extent my stepdad) the only male parent/teacher type that she knows, and I gotta think a better balance could do good things in that respect.

That said, is he really looking for anything and everything? Is he filtering opportunities based on pay rate? I ask because even the daycare we go to, which is on the higher end of cost, can barely pay $10-11/hr to these teachers. One of the teachers moved away 100 miles for a $15/hr job at a care facility for Nike employees. I wouldn't be surprised if there's some hesitance on a daycare's part in hiring a male teacher, but I feel the pay grade's got a lot to do w/ it as well -- this isn't a job that you can live sufficiently off a single income, and the teachers in general live w/ a SO or husband. One of the teachers told us about a daycare she was in previously, where bullying from management was rampant -- we toured the place and since it was affiliated w/ the local college we could have gotten a discount, but we did find it odd that pretty much all the teachers were straight out of college. If he's cutting out ones that he likely can't solely live off he's probably cutting off the majority of his opportunities, and anything that pays a decent wage is destined to be fiercely competitive.

 

[the1npc]

Don't know what that is. He lives in Toronto.

Day care pays like shit he shpuld apply to be an educational assistant at a school board unless he is cool with making $12/h forever

 

[jdstorm]

We have loads of male kindergarten, daycare, TA and other positions in Seattle. My daughter had a male daycare teacher and has a male afterschool program guy now. Maybe different regions have different tolerance.

This is 100% true.

Some places fear male caregivers while others feel that children having both male and female carers/role models is beneficial and try and prioritize that. Some places actually would specifically have places set aside for male candidates if possible.

 

[mrkgoo]

Your own kid at the playground? That's weird dads take their kids to playgrounds all the time, I know I do and I see plenty of other dads doing it. Was your kid like acting all suspicious of you or something?

This. Are you even sure they were "dirty" looks?

 

[Epsilon-delta]

Your own kid at the playground? That's weird dads take their kids to playgrounds all the time, I know I do and I see plenty of other dads doing it. Was your kid like acting all suspicious of you or something?

My daughter was acting fine, but this was 15 years ago though.

But I still get weird reactions even today. I had my daughter young (19) and I don't look my age. I took my daughter shopping for school supplies and got a similar reaction from a cashier like the post above.

Not all fathers are old looking.

 

[Fenderputty]

Why is he avoiding children's hospitals? Because he wants to go directly into the area he wants? Nah, tell him to get applying to every job in the field.

Yeah that makes no sense. Especially given the unemployment situation. I'm not sure if it's similar, but hospitals are in dire need for male nurses. So if their day care centers are anything like that, it's an almost intsa-hire.

That's okay, he has an advantage in pretty much every other aspect of his life.

what a shitty reply.

 

[archreaper93]

He got anxiety working at Children's hospitals. He volunteered for years at the Hospital for Sick Kids in Toronto - which is one of the TOP hospitals in the world.

He couldn't take kids dying. It hit far too close to home because he lost his brother that way.

Might want to edit this into the OP so you don't get a bunch of people suggesting this.

That's okay, he has an advantage in pretty much every other aspect of his life.

This comes off as really callous and insensitive.

 

[Joeytj]

Let me explain....

My cousin is an early childhood educator. He has his diplomas and pretty much everything you need to work at a daycare and take care of children.

But no one wants to hire him. He showed me his folder of over 200 resumes since last year. He gets an interview once in a blue moon and never lands a job and the answer is always "we felt someone else was a better fit"

He's absolutely wonderful to my nearly 3 year old son, and just an amazing human being.

He lost his twin as a child due to brain aneurysm, and spent a ton of time at children's hospital doing volunteer work and always took pride in the well being of children. His career sort of started there.

His field is 99.9% female, and while I understand the reservation of parents to have a male taking care of their kids, I feel he is being passed on due to his sex despite having far more education and experience than probably anyone else being interviewed for the same position.

I told him he would have better luck working in children's hospitals instead of daycares, but that's where he wants to be and broke down last night over a phone call because his unemployment insurance ran out because he cannot find a job.

Sadly that's another reason feminism is important for both women and men.

Men should also be thought as being able to care for children, not just women. I've seen my share of dads that are better parents than mothers.

Both my parents are great, but my dad was usually the one who cooked, took us to school and took "care" of us when we were sick, thanks to him being a university professor and having a bit more free time than my mom, who is a manager in the manufacturing industry.

 

[Rumblebones]

Sexism and patriarchy cut both ways, albeit unequally.

That's why we need to fight for a more just society where gender roles don't qualify or disqualify people from what they want to do and achieve in life.

It should be okay for women to want to work in traditionally male dominated fields and vice versa.

I hope we're past a lot of this shit by the time I have kids but I'm afraid that won't be the case.

 

[markitrons]

I don't know how the system works in Canada, and I am also unfamiliar with working in daycares. However, I have worked in public pre-schools, elementary, middle, and high schools. In the early grades, we would KILL to have more men apply. The last time we posted an early elementary position we had over 1200 applicants in the first 3 days it opened. Because of this deluge, the people that usually wind up getting interviews are those with connections to people already working there, or people that come up in random keyword searches (luck). He should use and abuse every single connection he has to get his name picked out of the pile.

However, having sat on some of the interviewing panels, most of the dudes that apply are either complete fucking weirdos, way too pushy to fit into a team, or just don't have good interview skills. I know a couple of guys who would make great teachers, but just don't interview well.

If working in schools, I would highly, highly suggest that you have him do mock interviews with ex administrators to pinpoint what he might be doing wrong. Ive seen some good candidates get turned away because they weren't really up to date with how teachers evaluated (IE Danielson Rubric), why education standards were important, or how data driven instruction should be integrated into a classroom.

 

[Epsilon-delta]

This. Are you even sure they were "dirty" looks?

Yes because one of them had to nerve to tell the mother of my daughter that she didn't feel comfortable with me being at the playground.