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[nickgia]

That sucks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSRZaCSk-B8 I have a job in which I interact with the general public so I have these sentiments.

 

[Tripon]

He can be a preschool/kindergarten teacher. The fact he is a male is what schools wants. There's is a large need for.male teachers are the elementary level.

 

[kagete]

Tell him to study to be a nurse. He will be enjoy being that 0.01%

 

[bitbydeath]

yea this is why we need feminism

Meninism?

 

[TheMan]

tell him to become a child psychologist or something, problem solved

 

[Like the hat?]

I feel his pain. I'm working toward a degree in early childhood and even setting up observations has been hard.

 

[Zareth]

I had similar issues as a male in my field of Office Administration. Nobody wants a 30yo bald, bearded, overweight dude for this role for some reason... =P

 

[kirblar]

That sucks. Hopefully he's persistant and can find a place that actually welcomes someone who cares, especially w/ that backstory.

Serano's "Why Nice Guys Finish Last" is (once again) something everyone should read - the way in which men are viewed as predators incapable of being anything other than sex-crazed monsters by so many warps everything about our society. https://web.archive.org/web/20150509121454/https://www.geneseo.edu/webfm_send/3244

 

[waveuponwave]

It sucks. Recently I was chilling in a park playing guitar just by myself and a small kid came by to say he also played guitar. Just a cute moment, and I would have loved to show him some riff or something, but I was afraid someone would think I wanted to kidnap him so I just waited for him to go

 

[Zekes!]

I work with kids too (looking to pursue my master's in counselling when I finish my degree), and I've avoided working with younger kids because of the stigma of men being predators. However, I've found that for working with older kids, being a male has been a huge benefit because this field is so female dominated that men are considered a commodity and are needed, especially to work with male youth.

 

[Xe4]

I saw the thread, and immediately knew he was wanting to work with younger children. It's one of the few areas (teaching in general is, but this especially) where men are at a significant disadvantage to women, not that it makes it any better.

Sucks to be your cousin, and I think we all as a society need to work on seeing everyone as equals, instead of fitting people into preconceived notions we get based off gender, sex, race, whatever.

 

[Sunster]

Meninism?

no, feminism. the movement that actually addresses this issue.

 

[hipbabboom]

If the 99.9% female stat is accurate then that does seem obviously lopsided and perhaps a good indicator that some form of gender discrimination is going on.

Does your brother have what racists some people might consider to be an "ethnic" name on his resume? I know this kept me unemployed a good while in the past till I sold out and westernized my first name.

 

[MGrant]

Tell your cousin to look into teaching abroad. I teach secondary school, where the stigma against male teachers isn't nearly as strong in the US/Canada, but here in Asia (Taiwan) we have several male pre-school and kindergarten teachers at my school. No one bats an eye as far as I'm aware.

 

[Glass Shark]

.

 

[Nerokis]

That's okay, he has an advantage in pretty much every other aspect of his life.

No, it's not okay. The situation the OP described feeds into negative gender stereotypes, and their friend's effort to defy those stereotypes should be applauded. Just as the reverse is true, the world would be a much better place if men were both more willing and more able to find jobs in female-dominated industries.

As someone else mentioned in this thread, this is also a feminist issue.

 

[mrkgoo]

Yes because one of them had to nerve to tell the mother of my daughter that she didn't feel comfortable with me being at the playground.

Oh man, rough. what the hell.

 

[Epsilon-delta]

Oh man, rough. what the hell.

It's all good.

My initial reaction when it happened was more dumbstruck than anger.

And going by the rest of this thread, it seems like nothing has changed.

 

[Fenderputty]

Just so I'm clear: I obviously think it's unjust that he's seemingly being rejected based on his gender. My real thoughtful answer would be closer to the person who explained why feminism can actually solve problems like these.

But my first response, while indeed flippant, isn't that far from the truth. He picked one of the very few fields where men are at a disadvantage. And yes, that sucks for him. And it shouldn't stop him from pursuing his dream career and his passion. I hope he finds a job, in something adjacent to his chosen field if it has to be.

Nobody questioned why your response was flippant.

 

[Earthbound64]

Let me explain....

My cousin is an early childhood educator. He has his diplomas and pretty much everything you need to work at a daycare and take care of children.

But no one wants to hire him. He showed me his folder of over 200 resumes since last year. He gets an interview once in a blue moon and never lands a job and the answer is always "we felt someone else was a better fit"

Unfortunately, I know that feeling all too well.
I'll send you a PM with more.
I'm really sorry

EDIT: PM sent.

 

[DarkJediKnight]

If the 99.9% female stat is accurate then that does seem obviously lopsided and perhaps a good indicator that some form of gender discrimination is going on.

Does your brother have what racists some people might consider to be an "ethnic" name on his resume? I know this kept me unemployed a good while in the past till I sold out and westernized my first name.

Yes he does. His last name is Islam. I don't think that helps.

 

[psyfi]

I've been working in childcare for 12+ years, and being perceived as a man (I'm actually agender) has definitely closed some doors for me, but it's also opened a lot. There's plenty of places out there who want men involved but have a hard time finding them.

 

[echoshifting]

Really shitty situation. I hope he keeps trying...in particular, maybe places run by a guy? My daughter's daycare was owned and operated by two brothers, and they kept a few guys on staff across several locations. I'm sure such places are rare though.

Not sure what else to say really. It fucking sucks.

 

[Tambini]

Those people need to watch Daddy Day Care

 

[AntraxSuicide]

This is exactly what I was thinking. The stigma about male caretakers of children is a disgusting consequence of patriarchy. It should be destroyed along with all the other rigid gender roles that fuck people's lives up.

Yep, pretty much all male discrimination stems from the patriarchal view that men are strong, emotion-less warrior-types. That usually means advantages, but it also means people think you're a predator. That gets you looked at around kids and harsher sentences for criminal acts.

 

[kirblar]

Yep, pretty much all male discrimination stems from the patriarchal view that men are strong, emotion-less warrior-types. That usually means advantages, but it also means people think you're a predator. That gets you looked at around kids and harsher sentences for criminal acts.

It's specifically sexual predation - men are predators, women prey. It's also why M/M and F/F are harder to report- a man getting abused or a woman abuser are unbelievable to many.

 

[Media]

yea this is why we need feminism

Yep.

Just like I wouldn't get hired for construction with no experience this dude is getting fucked too.

 

[gaugebozo]

My wife worked at a daycare that had an unspoken "Don't hire men" policy. It's pure shit.

 

[Mr_Appleby]

And that is how the industry is. I've never met a male teacher for in daycare, pre-echool, or school for either of my children. People feel more safe leaving their kids with a woman than a man. And the daycares know that having a male teacher will affect business.

Not even in regular school!? That is nuts. There are three male staff at our daycare that I know of, and that's only across two rooms (3 and 4 years old)

 

[Two Words]

This stuff even impacts male teachers in the K-12 range. I’ve had guys I know who are teachers tell me that they’re basically never allowed to be alone with a student and that they should know that they will be specially observed as a male teacher. That’s just how it is for them.

 

[Tripon]

This stuff even impacts male teachers in the K-12 range. I’ve had guys I know who are teachers tell me that they’re basically never allowed to be alone with a student and that they should know that they will be specially observed as a male teacher. That’s just how it is for them.

Yes, that is standard. Never put yourself in a bad situation. That's common sense. Always keep the door open.

 

[Transhuman]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airline_seating_sex_discrimination_controversy

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-10-...ko-for-changing-child-in-parents-room/9022918

When in doubt, blame men.

 

[MGrant]

It's specifically sexual predation - men are predators, women prey. It's also why M/M and F/F are harder to report- a man getting abused or a woman abuser are unbelievable to many.

It's even more insidious than that. Even when not victims or perpetrators, everyone is treated as a sex object or sexual predator by the patriarchy, even children. It disproportionately affects women and girls of course, but men and boys are not exempt from this perverse view of people. Power and status have become toxically tied to sex and seduction - are you a sex-getter or a sex-receiver, are you attractive or unattractive, a heteronormative rolemodel or a deviant queer, a family man, a housewife, "jailbait," a bitch, a slut, a prude, a pervert, a playboy, a "creeper," etc.

 

[Two Words]

Yes, that is standard. Never put yourself in a bad situation. That's common sense. Always keep the door open.

The way they have put it, they are on specia notice since they are men.

 

[TimeEffect]

Yes, that is standard. Never put yourself in a bad situation. That's common sense. Always keep the door open.

Its said specifically for men. Women teachers dont have this issue and can often be affectionate with their students while male teachers cant

Especially for younger students, its a crappy double standard

 

[Messofanego]

In female-dominated fields, usually they want to hire more men and even give bonuses. That sucks for the Toronto area if there's a stigma for male daycare staff.

 

[ramuh]

That sucks he is being discriminated against, unless his creds aren't checking out.

 

[TimeEffect]

In female-dominated fields, usually they want to hire more men and even give bonuses. That sucks for the Toronto area if there's a stigma for male daycare staff.

This is true for grade school, but likely not for pre-school, and also likely that there are just massively less males in pre-school than grade school.

That sucks he is being discriminated against, unless his creds aren't checking out.

That's likely, since the field is competitive and women dominate it. Undoubtedly, a lot of women aren't getting hired either

 

[Warm Machine]

I know of exactly one male childcare provider in the sphere of my children. It is really rare to see. My six year old's grade 2 teacher is a man though but that should be expected at that level.

 

[7DollarHagane]

I can understand not wanting to work at a certain place but he has to suck it up and just do it. We all been there.

Work at the hospital while applying for the daycare centers.

And yeah he's definitely getting passed because he's a male and that sucks but he can't just sit there and wallow in self-misery. That doesn't pay the bills.

If this reply was given to a woman who couldn't get a job as a IT specialist despite experience what would people think?

 

[Earthbound64]

In female-dominated fields, usually they want to hire more men and even give bonuses. That sucks for the Toronto area if there's a stigma for male daycare staff.

This is true for grade school, but likely not for pre-school, and also likely that there are just massively less males in pre-school than grade school.

It's not necessarily true for grade school either.
Certainly wasn't in my experience.

 

[LOLDSFAN]

Sometimes you gotta take the bad job so you can get a foot in the door for the good job.

 

[Ardenyal]

It's specifically sexual predation - men are predators, women prey. It's also why M/M and F/F are harder to report- a man getting abused or a woman abuser are unbelievable to many.

Funny because most cases in the news about teachers molesting children is about women teachers.

 

[ramuh]

Funny because most cases in the news about teachers molesting children is about women teachers.

Seems to be happening a lot lately. (according to the news)

 

[GeorgioCostanzaX]

I know I’m part of the problem but I’d have issues with anyone but an obviously flamboyant gay dude taking care of little girls at a daycare; it’s a lot of diaper changing. He’d be better off getting a full teaching credential and doing first grade and up. I say this from experience I trust no man around my little girl too many horror stories of fucked up family friends in the news etc to risk it.

 

[QisTopTier]

I know I’m part of the problem but I’d have issues with anyone but an obviously flamboyant gay dude taking care of little girls at a daycare; it’s a lot of diaper changing. He’d be better off getting a full teaching credential and doing first grade and up. I say this from experience I trust no man around my little girl too many horror stories of fucked up family friends etc to risk it.

But you have no issues with any of that with little boys? Kinda fucked up.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

I know I’m part of the problem but I’d have issues with anyone but an obviously flamboyant gay dude taking care of little girls at a daycare; it’s a lot of diaper changing. He’d be better off getting a full teaching credential and doing first grade and up. I say this from experience I trust no man around my little girl too many horror stories of fucked up family friends in the news etc to risk it.

women can and do abuse children (both boys and girls) too, you know.

 

[Sunster]

I know I’m part of the problem but I’d have issues with anyone but an obviously flamboyant gay dude taking care of little girls at a daycare; it’s a lot of diaper changing. He’d be better off getting a full teaching credential and doing first grade and up. I say this from experience I trust no man around my little girl too many horror stories of fucked up family friends etc to risk it.

that's like saying I don't want my teenage son to have a female teacher because of all the statutory rapist female teachers.

 

[Earthbound64]

I know I'm part of the problem but

"but"
Yeah, definitely part of the problem - and the "justifications" for it just make it worse.

"I say this from experience I trust no man around my little girl"
Seriously, like what even is this?

 

[mackattk]

Yeah my sister's husband is in the same boat. Has a ton of qualifications and really truly cares about the kids.. he has had such a tough time trying to find a job. When he did he was most recently fired because he recommended a 4th grader be held back because he couldnt do really simple math.