KillerMan91
Member
Posts like this are the reason why things continue like this. I guess it's ok also to hope that your co-workers are all white instead of black because blacks have higher crime rate? Right?
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My Cousin can't get a job because he's a MAN
- Thread starter DarkJediKnight
- Start date
Posts like this are the reason why things continue like this. I guess it's ok also to hope that your co-workers are all white instead of black because blacks have higher crime rate? Right?
BlazinSkatinAxel
Member
Sunster
Member
no sarcasm
Holy shit at the casual sexist and/or racist things people are spouting in here.
"I know I'm an asshole but..." Vs. "I'm not a racist but..."
Some of you need to seriously think about your beliefs. Don't just shrug it off and think it's no problem. If your thinking lines up with the sort of rationales racists give, you have problems.
"I know I'm an asshole but..." Vs. "I'm not a racist but..."
Some of you need to seriously think about your beliefs. Don't just shrug it off and think it's no problem. If your thinking lines up with the sort of rationales racists give, you have problems.
Im sorry to hear that. I do a lot of work with my job with daycare/preschool kids and you can tell how excited a lot of the kids (especially some of the boys) get when I come and teach them about nutrition. There is such a lack of male teachers in their lives until about middle school, which is quite unfortunate. Ive never faced any kind of stigma myself but Im also really young myself so that might have an effect. Your friend should keep trying because it is a great area that can always need more help.
Sorry your cousin has to go through this. You won't see as much effort in rectifying it, in part because of the shit you see in this thread and in part because pushing men into "women's" work usually involves going into fields that pay less.
I wonder if there are groups or organizations your cousin can join that are geared towards men in childcare? That could help in finding places who are willing to hire men. (Felt gross typing that sentence.)
I wonder if there are groups or organizations your cousin can join that are geared towards men in childcare? That could help in finding places who are willing to hire men. (Felt gross typing that sentence.)
This reminds me of when I babysat a friends two sons when I was 16. They had had female babysitters the first 8 years of their lives. After one weekend of me watching them, they asked their parents to never hire any more girls to watch them, LOL. I brought my video games (they already had their consoles) over to play with them. I'd fix their food and we'd go outside and throw a baseball or football around. Ended up being their sitter the entire summer 2 years in a row.
I have my own two kids now and absolutely love spending time with children. If it weren't for my current career, I'd imagine I'd be working with kids too.
I have my own two kids now and absolutely love spending time with children. If it weren't for my current career, I'd imagine I'd be working with kids too.
I live in Finland and study special education and have also worked as a temporary in day care for many years now and i'm glad the situation here is better. There aren't that many men working in this field of work. Usually it's considered as a positive to be man with a degree on education and willingness to work at day care. Usually the co-workers as well as the parents have been very welcoming and positive with me and after reading this thread it seems that I need to appreciate my job conditions here. I need to mention that I also live in a bigger city so the situation might be a bit different in a smaller city. Hope your cousin finds a place where they understand the importance and positive impact of a male educator.
Emperor_Uriel
Member
Our society is rightfully upset when someone says "That black kid that just entered our store might try to steal something!" or "There's a Muslim man on my plane, hope he doesn't blow us up!" But, for some reason, we're fine with people looking at our husbands, brothers and sons and whispering "I don't know if I trust him around kids. Better safe than sorry, you know?"
It's a sickening double standard, and people who contribute to them problem deserve to be called out as much as any other bigot. Take a stand now, before someone starts pointing their finger at a member of your family.
It's a sickening double standard, and people who contribute to them problem deserve to be called out as much as any other bigot. Take a stand now, before someone starts pointing their finger at a member of your family.
Funyarinpa
Member
Wonder if mods don't give a shit about people in here literally saying "I wouldn't trust my kid around a white man" because they see that as only "racial/sexual prejudice" or what (as if it isn't literally societal sexism).
Because honestly, fucking hell. It makes me really fucking uncomfortable.
This gender stigma is just as unacceptable as any other, and the solution does lie in dismantling the patriarchal structure of our society.
Because honestly, fucking hell. It makes me really fucking uncomfortable.
This gender stigma is just as unacceptable as any other, and the solution does lie in dismantling the patriarchal structure of our society.
Earthbound64
Banned
Or at you.
(That is, the person saying stuff like that, not the person I'm replying to).
Emperor_Uriel
Member
It's only a matter of time if you're a man working with kids.
This excellent site has compiled an astounding number stories related to this type of discrimination under the category "Eek! A Male!"
The list includes gems like "'You Sicko!' Screams Lady at Dad Changing his Sons Diaper in Public Changing Room" and "Cops Mistake Dad for Kidnapper as He Puts His Kid in His Tesla"
Of course, by widening the web of suspicion to include all males, the paranoid bigots featured in these stories are simultaneously destroying innocent lives and making it far more likely that the police will waste their time investigating hundreds of harmless caregivers instead of zeroing in on the tiny number of real predators. This bigotry and hysteria makes us all far less safe.
TarpitCarnivore
Member
I'm going to dissect some of this because some of it is pretty short sighted to me:
Ok and? Does he have previous experience working with kids? Tutoring, after school programs, daycare assistant, camps, etc? If not then that's a clear sign to being passed up.
No offense, but him and literally half this damn country. Teaching jobs do not turn over like other fields and the district I worked in previously would see on average 50 resumes a day
This has literally nothing to do with him being a man. Your cousin could be bad at interviews, he could be bad at explaining his methods for accomplishing goals, etc.
Ok, and? This has zero bearing on him as an education in class room.
----
I can tell you from experience of talking to educators that your cousins failings have zero to do with him being a male. The administrators and principals I've met & talked to would jump at the chance for a good male pre-k -- 5 male teacher precisely because so few of them exist.
Ok and? Does he have previous experience working with kids? Tutoring, after school programs, daycare assistant, camps, etc? If not then that's a clear sign to being passed up.
No offense, but him and literally half this damn country. Teaching jobs do not turn over like other fields and the district I worked in previously would see on average 50 resumes a day
This has literally nothing to do with him being a man. Your cousin could be bad at interviews, he could be bad at explaining his methods for accomplishing goals, etc.
Ok, and? This has zero bearing on him as an education in class room.
----
I can tell you from experience of talking to educators that your cousins failings have zero to do with him being a male. The administrators and principals I've met & talked to would jump at the chance for a good male pre-k -- 5 male teacher precisely because so few of them exist.
Earthbound64
Banned
Of course. I first experienced it 18 years ago.
But what I mean is, people like fathers saying "I wouldn't trust men around my daughter" - with people thinking that way, it's just a matter of time before other people decide they won't trust you around your daughter as well.
It's because we've made little progress when it comes to gender roles. At best, we've expanded what women are allowed to do, but we haven't shifted any of their traditional responsibilities. The expectations are overwhelmingly that women handle childcare. We can work full time outside the house now, but we're still on the hook for most of the childcare and house cleaning. Because this is so standard, a man cleaning or caring for children is still viewed as abnormal.
mckmas8808
Mckmaster uses MasterCard to buy Slave drives
100% this. I talk to my wife about this all the time. Some kind of way we got to get away from this type of thinking.
Earthbound64
Banned
OP / Cousin are from Canada.
Consult the appropriate financial guidelines for the area in question, as they may differ from yours.
Ah ok fair enough. I'm Irish.
DarkJediKnight
Member
3 years later update:
Some of you messaged me about him and gave some really helpful advice back then.
I just want to say thank you. He struggled. He really struggled. He found a job part time and that kept him happy because he was able to teach children.
Unfortunately, the pandemic hit, and the daycare he was working at closed for good in April.
He’s been trying so hard to find another daycare job and coupled with depression and poverty, he took his life via carbon monoxide Poisoning at his parents’ garage while they were out of town over the weekend. He would have turned 29 on Nov 1.
So thank you for what you did years ago. Since he is no longer with us, I wanted to post an update since I remember asking for help.
I wish I was able to better read his situation and tried to intervene. Unfortunately I didn’t as I was too busy with my own family and trying to survive this damn pandemic.
A really good person left this earth and it sucks. Thanks for listening.
Some of you messaged me about him and gave some really helpful advice back then.
I just want to say thank you. He struggled. He really struggled. He found a job part time and that kept him happy because he was able to teach children.
Unfortunately, the pandemic hit, and the daycare he was working at closed for good in April.
He’s been trying so hard to find another daycare job and coupled with depression and poverty, he took his life via carbon monoxide Poisoning at his parents’ garage while they were out of town over the weekend. He would have turned 29 on Nov 1.
So thank you for what you did years ago. Since he is no longer with us, I wanted to post an update since I remember asking for help.
I wish I was able to better read his situation and tried to intervene. Unfortunately I didn’t as I was too busy with my own family and trying to survive this damn pandemic.
A really good person left this earth and it sucks. Thanks for listening.
S
SLoWMoTIoN
Unconfirmed Member
Fuck man, sorry the government and society failed your cousin.
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TindalosPup
Member
I wasn't on here 3 years ago, I was only an occasional lurker back then, but I want to convey my deepest sympathies to you and your family, you've lost a very good person
He'll be in my thoughts and prayers
He deserved so much more from life, I hope he can find some sort of peace
He'll be in my thoughts and prayers
He deserved so much more from life, I hope he can find some sort of peace
KingdomHeartsFan
Member
Dam man sorry for your loss.
Dirk Benedict
Gold Member
Thank you for sharing this with us. I have to say, I am extremely late to this sorrowful thread, however you have my deepest and most heartfelt sympathies, for sure.
lock2k
Banned
Flying Toaster
Member
Wow. I am so very sorry this happened to you.
My condolences to you and your family.
Turnstyle
Member
This is terrible. Really sorry for your loss.
Please don't put any of this on yourself.
Please don't put any of this on yourself.
Kadayi
Banned
Sorry for your loss OP. Suicide is always a hard one to wrap one's head about. Had a few people I know go down that route and it's hard to fathom. I wouldn't beat yourself up too much about it. It's hard enough to know oneself let alone others. It's almost always a surprise when it happens.
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BaneIsPain
Member
This is hurtful. Sorry for your loss OP.
RoyalLaFlame
Banned
I'm sorry he had to struggle so much. I'm really sorry for your loss OP.
