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My Cousin can't get a job because he's a MAN

D

Deleted member 1235

Unconfirmed Member
That sucks. There is a weird stigma towards men working around young children it seems.

It's not that weird. pretty much all child predators are dudes and actively seek to be around kids.

there's a guy working at my kids daycare. to be honest I wish it was all women. The Netherlands implemented policies after the Amsterdam fiasco a few years back to make it much harder for weirdos to isolate kids, but yeah, nobody stays vigilant is how I imagine this will work.

Another thing that really bothers me is how people are horribly resistant to accepting the fact that female pedophiles are a thing.

they are much less of a thing
 
That's okay, he has an advantage in pretty much every other aspect of his life.

EDIT: This was a shitty reply and a bad attempt at a joke. Sorry. I was in a weird mood when I posted it. I'm not going to delete it and try to make it look like I'm hiding something. I agree that as others have stated this is as feminist an issue as a woman not being able to get a job because of her gender. I hope your friend finds luck in his career field.

Wow. Glad you edited it but fuck that original post. Thoughts like that are why this man can't find a job in his chosen field.

I am a male nurse, thankfully not even remotely as stigmatized as men in early childhood care, but I wanted to work labor and delivery and was placated by employers numerous times without ever receiving a callback or interview. So I am stuck working in a job I hate because I cant get my foot in the door where my passion lies, in L&D. People really need to stop viewing men as having the ultimate privilege, and realize there is actual discrimination against us in some very key areas of life. Not as many as women/minorities mind you, but they still exist and the discrimination is just as real.

And even when men are allowed in the door to these types of jobs, we must have a chaparone at all times. Men in the L&D wards have to have a female coworker in the room. Men in daycares or pre-K have to have a female coworker in the room, and cannot be by themselves with a child. Yet the female employees can be alone with the children. It is a double standard and is highly discriminatory.

But I guess we are all just giant walking penises and pedophiles to most people.
 

Violet_0

Banned
They are a thing but a small minority and usually it's a dumb 22 year old fresh graduate still attracted to jock types not sicko white male murdering fucks 99.8% of the time. This thread was a trigger for me so again sorry if I'm being uncouth but lonely white Men scare me more than anything. From Mass shooters to pedos it's 99% white dudes with mental issues. Fuck I'd trust a playful brown person like Aziz Ansari around my kids moreso than a white teenager or recent college grad.
you should look up statistics. And if you took a look at other contries around the globe, you'd need to adjust your view of the world considerably. Bad men are bad regardless of skin color
 

Violet_0

Banned
No doubt cases of males doing it are higher, but could this extremely low number be a case of reporting bias?

I really have no idea, I don't even remember the number (could be even smaller than a percentile). Sex crimes in general are overwhelmingly perpetrated by men, so in that sense society isn't exactly wrong about being suspicious of them. It's just that the vast majority of men aren't criminals either
 

gfxtwin

Member
TBH I'm kinda surprised there hasn't yet been a response along the lines of, "I'm sorry, but this outlier anecdotal example doesn't change the fact that he is still a man and overall tends to have advantages over women regarding careers. I can only extend my empathy/sympathy to those who are marginalized, not men who are too dumb/lazy to take advantage of their privilege in society. There are plenty of male-dominated jobs for him. He can work construction or something, he'll be fine."
 

nekkid

It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan.
TBH I'm kinda surprised there hasn't yet been a response along the lines of, "I'm sorry, but this outlier anecdotal example doesn't change the fact that he is still a man and overall tends to have advantages over women regarding careers. I can only extend my empathy/sympathy to those who are marginalized, not men who are too dumb/lazy to take advantage of their privilege in society. There are plenty of male-dominated jobs for him. He can work construction or something, he'll be fine."

There was something pretty brazen, before the poster backtracked.
 

Greedings

Member
L
His field is 99.9% female, and while I understand the reservation of parents to have a male taking care of their kids, I feel he is being passed on due to his sex despite having far more education and experience than probably anyone else being interviewed for the same position.

You understand this? I certainly don't. It's downright ridiculous.
 
edit: alright let me try that again without being sexist. I think the cousin should at least try and get some kind of secondary job or other income source so he can pay the bills, but he definitely shouldn't stop applying to the early childhood education gigs. He sounds like he's more than qualified and hopefully with enough persistence it'll all work out for him.
 
I really have no idea, I don't even remember the number (could be even smaller than a percentile). Sex crimes in general are overwhelmingly perpetrated by men, so in that sense society isn't exactly wrong about being suspicious of them. It's just that the vast majority of men aren't criminals either

Isn't one of the arguments used by racists that "the overwhelming amount of crime is commuted by Brown and black people" or some other bullshit like that? These kinds of statistics used to justify prejudice against anyone just don't sit right with me. It's like someone saying stupid shit like "well I have nothing against Muslims, but... The vast majority of terrorist attacks are committed by them so I wouldn't fly on a plane with one you know?"

Same with the "I wouldn't trust a man with a little girl" that was posted in the thread. It irks me the fuck out.
 

Stuart444

Member
Sounds like he needs to start looking for jobs that don't involve kids. It sucks that he can't find a job in his chosen field and I commend him for his persistence but at the end of the day bills gotta get paid and applications alone don't pay the bills. It sucks but that's the real world for ya.

"It sucks that I can't get a job in the IT field because I'm a women. It sucks but that's the real world for ya. Guess I better find a job in a field that woman are more accepted into. Like Nursing! Or Childcare"

Might not be the best example but that's what comments like this are basically saying. It's very dismissive of sexism.

I know what you're saying, bills have to be paid and he should probably get another job to pay the bills until he can find a job in his chosen field but the phrasing here makes you seem very dismissive of blatant sexism.

I can't wait til Sexism, towards both Men and Women die out. Too bad I'll probably have been dead for years by that point. (Same with Racism and other stuff sadly :( I just want this world to be a better place for everyone ;_;)
 

Raysoul

Member
Not sure if this suggestion would work but try asking if he would like to work outside of your country, maybe somewhere in Asia. There isn't that much opportunity for that field, but I think it is worth a try if he really loves to work on that specific field.
 

nekkid

It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan.
Sounds like he needs to start looking for jobs that don't involve kids. It sucks that he can't find a job in his chosen field and I commend him for his persistence but at the end of the day bills gotta get paid and applications alone don't pay the bills. It sucks but that's the real world for ya.

Imagine someone saying this about a woman who can’t get into a job they really want because of sexism. Incredible.
 

Sioen

Member
They are a thing but a small minority and usually it’s a dumb 22 year old fresh graduate still attracted to jock types not sicko white male murdering fucks 99.8% of the time. This thread was a trigger for me so again sorry if I’m being uncouth but lonely white Men scare me more than anything. From Mass shooters to pedos it’s 99% white dudes with mental issues. Fuck I’d trust a playful brown person like Aziz Ansari around my kids moreso than a white teenager or recent college grad.
The fuck is this racist shit.
 

Greedings

Member
Might not be the best example but that's what comments like this are basically saying. It's very dismissive of sexism.

You're absolutely right, but sometimes you've got to compromise your principles to have a roof over your head. If the guy can't find a job doing what he loves, he should probably look else where.

There's always the compromise too, lots of men teach older children, between 10 and 18. This might be a better career choice, while still giving the guy the possibility of working with kids.
 

Two Words

Member
I really have no idea, I don't even remember the number (could be even smaller than a percentile). Sex crimes in general are overwhelmingly perpetrated by men, so in that sense society isn't exactly wrong about being suspicious of them. It's just that the vast majority of men aren't criminals either
Murder is also overwhelmingly done by men. Are we going to avoid hiring men in all jobs that deal with group work to avoid murders?
 
iirc they make up just somewhere around 1% of all cases
I really have no idea, I don't even remember the number (could be even smaller than a percentile). Sex crimes in general are overwhelmingly perpetrated by men, so in that sense society isn't exactly wrong about being suspicious of them. It's just that the vast majority of men aren't criminals either
Where did you get this statistic???

I got this from the National Center for Victims of Crime.
On Sexual Child Abusers:
Some perpetrators are female. It is estimated that women are the abusers in about 14% of cases reported among boys and 6% of cases reported among girls.

That was just a google search though. I could be wrong or the data might not be recent,
 

Violet_0

Banned
Murder is also overwhelmingly done by men. Are we going to avoid hiring men in all jobs that deal with group work to avoid murders?
hey, I'm not defending it. It's just where the bias comes from, although we all probably knew that already. Just basic probabilities
Isn't one of the arguments used by racists that "the overwhelming amount of crime is commuted by Brown and black people" or some other bullshit like that? These kinds of statistics used to justify prejudice against anyone just don't sit right with me. It's like someone saying stupid shit like "well I have nothing against Muslims, but... The vast majority of terrorist attacks are committed by them so I wouldn't fly on a plane with one you know?"

Same with the "I wouldn't trust a man with a little girl" that was posted in the thread. It irks me the fuck out.
I think it's more or less the same thing, yeah
 

Violet_0

Banned
Where did you get this statistic???

I got this from the National Center for Victims of Crime.
On Sexual Child Abusers:


That was just a google search though. I could be wrong or the data might not be recent,
just got this from a quick wiki check, which is somewhat close to the number I remember. Victims age 13 and younger
Most sexual offenders against children are male. Females may account for 0.4% to 4% of convicted sexual offenders, and one study estimates a 10 to 1 ratio of male-to-female child molesters.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophilia#Diagnosis
their source: http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/articles/psychopathology-and-personality-traits-pedophiles
 

Tapioca

Banned
They are a thing but a small minority and usually it’s a dumb 22 year old fresh graduate still attracted to jock types not sicko white male murdering fucks 99.8% of the time. This thread was a trigger for me so again sorry if I’m being uncouth but lonely white Men scare me more than anything. From Mass shooters to pedos it’s 99% white dudes with mental issues. Fuck I’d trust a playful brown person like Aziz Ansari around my kids moreso than a white teenager or recent college grad.

What kind of goofy logic is this? Pedos come in all races. It's super naive to think otherwise.
 

Two Words

Member
just got this from a quick wiki check, which is somewhat close to the number I remember. Victims age 13 and younger

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophilia#Diagnosis
their source: http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/articles/psychopathology-and-personality-traits-pedophiles
Convicted sexual assault offenders.

There’s a good chance that boys speak less often than girls.
There’s a good chance that men sexually abusing kids is taken more seriously by police.
There’s a good chance juries are far more likely to convict men in these situations.

I am sure men commit these much more than women, but the statistics are almost certainly skewed.



This kind of statistical argument is what is often used agInst black people. They’ll say that racial bias against black people can be explained because black people are disproportionally in prison. But they don’t consider the many factors in our police/legal/economic systems that would cause that to happen.
 

CloudWolf

Member
I know I'm part of the problem but I'd have issues with anyone but an obviously flamboyant gay dude taking care of little girls at a daycare; it's a lot of diaper changing. He'd be better off getting a full teaching credential and doing first grade and up. I say this from experience I trust no man around my little girl too many horror stories of fucked up family friends in the news etc to risk it.
And this is why men have difficulty to get these kind of jobs. It's utter bullshit.

Sounds like he needs to start looking for jobs that don't involve kids. It sucks that he can't find a job in his chosen field and I commend him for his persistence but at the end of the day bills gotta get paid and applications alone don't pay the bills. It sucks but that's the real world for ya.
"Sexism and discrimination is just the way the world works, suck it up"
 
just got this from a quick wiki check, which is somewhat close to the number I remember. Victims age 13 and younger

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophilia#Diagnosis
their source: http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/articles/psychopathology-and-personality-traits-pedophiles

Ah, well you responded to this with the 1% statistic:
And yet the stories of female teachers having sex with underage students is a regular topic here.
So I thought we were talking about that.
This was talking about the recent cases in the news about students who were raped by their teachers. That statistic is above one percent obviously but here it is if you wanted to know.
Washington Post Article said:
While male school employees were the perpetrators in two-thirds of all reported sexual misconduct cases with students in 2014, women were more likely to use social media to lure students. In our tracking, 40 percent of the women in these cases used social media as a tool for their crimes, compared to 35 percent of men.
(Again keep in mind under-reporting among male students is common due to peer pressure.)

In your own quote it states "Females account for .4 to 4% of convicted sexual offenders" and also on the next line in the Wiki article goes:
Wikipedia Article Linked said:
The true number of female child molesters may be underrepresented by available estimates, for reasons including a "societal tendency to dismiss the negative impact of sexual relationships between young boys and adult women, as well as women's greater access to very young children who cannot report their abuse", among other explanations.
 
Isn't one of the arguments used by racists that "the overwhelming amount of crime is commuted by Brown and black people" or some other bullshit like that? These kinds of statistics used to justify prejudice against anyone just don't sit right with me. It's like someone saying stupid shit like "well I have nothing against Muslims, but... The vast majority of terrorist attacks are committed by them so I wouldn't fly on a plane with one you know?"

Same with the "I wouldn't trust a man with a little girl" that was posted in the thread. It irks me the fuck out.

Was gonna say this as well. Bang on.
 

blackflag

Member
I know male massage therapists with the same problem. It sucks because women in general don’t want to be massaged by a man and likewise men don’t want to be massaged by another man so they’re discriminated against no matter what

Heh never thought of that but yeah I guess it would be true for the most part. Ill go either way just work my muscles.
 

Violet_0

Banned
Ah, well you responded to this with the 1% statistic:

So I thought we were talking about that.
This was talking about the recent cases in the news about students who were raped by their teachers. That statistic is above one percent obviously but here it is if you wanted to know.

(Again keep in mind under-reporting among male students is common due to peer pressure.)

In your own quote it states "Females account for .4 to 4% of convicted sexual offenders" and also on the next line in the Wiki article goes:
fair enough. I mentioned repeatedly that I just recall the number from memory, which is reasonably close to what the statistics say. I didn't present it as absolute fact

you're right about me drifting away from the topic in the post I quoted (teachers/students cases)
 
I know male massage therapists with the same problem. It sucks because women in general don’t want to be massaged by a man and likewise men don’t want to be massaged by another man so they’re discriminated against no matter what

What? I don't even understand this one. Who the hell cares about who your massage therapist is? Don't you lay on your chest the whole time?
Just don't understand this. I mean I 'get' men not wanting to because they are homophobic or something, but still. Can someone explain?
 

TheContact

Member
What? I don't even understand this one. Who the hell cares about who your massage therapist is? Don't you lay on your chest the whole time?
Just don't understand this. I mean I 'get' men not wanting to because they are homophobic or something, but still. Can someone explain?

It’s not across the board as there are people of either gender who don’t care, but when booking clients for him, a good amount of time whether it’s male or female, when they hear the name of their MT has a guys name, they request a women instead. I personally don’t care but apparently a decent amount of women are uncomfortable about a stranger massaging them alone in a room I guess. The men I think are just insecure.

And no you don’t lay on your chest the whole time during a massage. Usually turn over half way through
 
My own personal logic would actually make me think that if a male is wanting to get into a female dominated job market then he must be really passionate about it so it's a shame. Not that the women can't be as passionate or more but there also might be a percentage of them who are doing it because social work is just "one of those fields" that women generally go into.

So I think a male would be pretty dope at it. Can't be living life in fear.
 
They are a thing but a small minority and usually it’s a dumb 22 year old fresh graduate still attracted to jock types not sicko white male murdering fucks 99.8% of the time. This thread was a trigger for me so again sorry if I’m being uncouth but lonely white Men scare me more than anything. From Mass shooters to pedos it’s 99% white dudes with mental issues. Fuck I’d trust a playful brown person like Aziz Ansari around my kids moreso than a white teenager or recent college grad.

What pile of racist nonsense. If you'd said the same about any other race you'd have rightly been banned in seconds
 

JHall

Member
I live in Georgia and elementary schools down here beg for male ECE majors. I have an ECE degree and I'm working on my Masters at the moment. The school I student taught at offered me a job as soon as I graduated. I'd tell your cousin he really needs to start networking and getting involved with the high school sports. I played baseball at my University, while finishing my degree I community coached for my old high school team. I got to know the AD and Principle on a personal basis. Both of them have told me once I get my Masters I will have a job at an elementary school that feeds into their high school so I can continue coaching.

He'll find a job that's the right fit for him. If not he should retake your states equivalent to Georgia's GACE test for a high school or middle school subject certificate. You don't have to have a secondary grades major to teach there.
 
I have a lot of female friends in the sector, and when I was job hunting, they all told me "You should apply for part time at all the daycares. They know that the children need to be with both men and women, and there are not enough men there".

Sure enough, I went to a couple, and two weeks later they called me in, asking if I could work that day.
 

Weckum

Member
I know I’m part of the problem but I’d have issues with anyone but an obviously flamboyant gay dude taking care of little girls at a daycare; it’s a lot of diaper changing. He’d be better off getting a full teaching credential and doing first grade and up. I say this from experience I trust no man around my little girl too many horror stories of fucked up family friends in the news etc to risk it.

Yeah, fuck you dude.
 

Spuck-uk

Banned
I know I’m part of the problem but I’d have issues with anyone but an obviously flamboyant gay dude taking care of little girls at a daycare; it’s a lot of diaper changing. He’d be better off getting a full teaching credential and doing first grade and up. I say this from experience I trust no man around my little girl too many horror stories of fucked up family friends in the news etc to risk it.

At least you know you're an asshole. Now work on correcting that.
 
A woman I studied with told me about the kindergarten she worked at at the time.
7 women and 2 men, with two ground rules:
  • Groups led by 2 women were fine. 2 men were forbidden.
  • Men can never change diapers.

While men usually have unfair advantages, the sexism in this area that can be experienced is disgusting.
Parents threatening to remove their children from a group because there are only men? Fuck that.


I know I’m part of the problem but I’d have issues with anyone but an obviously flamboyant gay dude taking care of little girls at a daycare; it’s a lot of diaper changing. He’d be better off getting a full teaching credential and doing first grade and up. I say this from experience I trust no man around my little girl too many horror stories of fucked up family friends in the news etc to risk it.
This is disgustingly reductionist.
Reminds me of a girl who told me she'd never leave any child with a male daycare person, as they're obviously pedophiles. Boner poison, that statement, especially to a teacher in training.
 

Chococat

Member
What? I don't even understand this one. Who the hell cares about who your massage therapist is? Don't you lay on your chest the whole time?
Just don't understand this. I mean I 'get' men not wanting to because they are homophobic or something, but still. Can someone explain?

You understand why a man might feel homophobic, but can't imagine a women feeling afraid of being mostly naked and left alone in a room with a strange man?

Both involve the recipient to relax in the presents of the worker. It is simple easier for most to relax in the presents of the women because people have been conditioned from an early age that women's touch is not sexual, outside of sex.

For the majority, it is women who change their diapers and cloths. It is women who bathe them and see them naked without advances.

Nurses who spend the most time with patients (touching and seeing patients naked), until recently, In school, it is women who teach and care for kids, except for those teachers who double as coaches. were women.

Stranger danger is looking out for strange men in vans and uncle Bob.

Little girls are taught they they are prey at an early age. Never be caught alone with a man otherwise what happens is your fault.

It is wrong but society and men themselves reinforce he idea that men are not care givers- those are women's jobs. Men are bread winners, women take care children.
Teaching is a women's job. Men work "real, important jobs".

This is part of the patriarchy. It sucks, but there is little that can be done about it until men join women in breaking it. Because most men benefit from the patriarchy, it likely won't happen.
 

weekev

Banned
My daughters nursery had 1 male worker at it. He helped potty train her. Totally a nice guy the kids loved him. A year after he worked with her we were called to a meeting with a police chief who told us the guy was a pedophile. Made me sick to my stomach. Thankfully the nursery has a rule that no worker is ever left on their own with any child but the thought of him getting off on changing my daughter is something that will never ever leave me.

Your cousin isn’t part of the problem but a victim of the fact that his field has a stigma attached to it caused by the assholes I’ve just described. It sucks.
 

neorej

ERMYGERD!
That's rough man. I remember when my daughter's day care center hired a man, all parents received letters to inform us, not a single letter was sent whenever a woman was hired.
 
That's rough man. I remember when my daughter's day care center hired a man, all parents received letters to inform us, not a single letter was sent whenever a woman was hired.

At least they hired him.
Parents tend to be terrible towards schools and daycares, not all, but enough to warrant them walking on eggshells.
Like, I got a lovely story about parents calling and complaining that their child was informed that meat = animals.
Not just one child's parents either..
I blame parents much more than the facilities themselves.
 
What the heck happened to this topic overnight?
Gross sexism and prejudices on display all over.
Some of the posts in this topic are downright disgusting.
I just can't even formulate responses at this point that wouldn't get me banned.
 
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