-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
My Cousin can't get a job because he's a MAN
- Thread starter DarkJediKnight
- Start date
I work at a community centre in Toronto, and our EY staff is completely female. The only man left recently, and I don't know what his role was.
It's not fair, really, but there's a valid and unfortunate stigma with our gender. He just needs to find the right place.
The stigma isnt valid.
TheContact
Member
I know male massage therapists with the same problem. It sucks because women in general dont want to be massaged by a man and likewise men dont want to be massaged by another man so theyre discriminated against no matter what
Dude...
First off, being gay doesn't preclude people from being a pedophile or molesting children, even female ones. Molesting kids, believe it or not, is not about attraction.
Secondly, the chances of your kid being abused by your family and close friends are SIGNIFICANTLY more than some guy at a daycare or school.
Thirdly, you're using fear to discriminated against people. You know you're doing it, but still are, so you should give that a long hard thought. Imagine if you were in the guys place, looking to take care of kids because it's what you want to do in life, but being denied simply for your sex. It's inexcusable, just as women being denied jobs for their sex is.
GeorgioCostanzaX
Gold Member
Its just my opinion and comfort zone and Im fully aware Im biased. Im sure hes a good guy with no ulterior motive but thats not the perception and the market is telling him that. There was a part time aid at my daughters daycare who was a dude and it made me uncomfortable. Being on the same school bus as two kids on the stop before me who got raped and murdered will do that to you Im just paranoid as fuck. I dont let anyone in my life who doesnt have kids themselves babysit and would never ever hire a teenage boy so why would I trust a total stranger. Again there are outlets he should become a teacher since its an uphill battle Im sure hes a nice guy. The market is telling him his skills arent in demand.
This. Now, I'm a little lucky because I have worked there as a summer camp counselor for three years, but if I had dropped out of college last year, I would've had a job waiting for me at a daycare. Even without me there, my local Y typically tries to keep one or two men on the daycare staff at a time (with about 9 women, but still).
Highly recommend he looks into the YMCA if there's any near you. Any job will do and if next school year they need more after school care workers, he'd be eligible easy to move to that job.
Earthbound64
Banned
So, "say[ing] this from experience" is "There was a part time aid at my daughters daycare who was a dude and it made me uncomfortable."?
As a former part-time aid at a preschool, who happens to be "a dude," this attitude can get f***ed.
GeorgioCostanzaX
Gold Member
Sorry you feel that way Im seriously not trying to say the OPs friend is a bad person or you for that matter: Im just saying at first glance I would be incredibly uncomfortable. Daycare is hard enough without throwing that variable in. I didnt say anything but other parents sure did. Id have no problem with kindergarten and up: its not a situation where potty training diaper changing and other situations come up.
Earthbound64
Banned
You probably should work on your feeling that way.
Astral Dog
Member
That sucks, especially after working so long with sick children, when are people going to understand evil comes from everywhere
dirty or, DIRTY 😉
GeorgioCostanzaX
Gold Member
I probably should I was abused by a baby sitter and the shit that happened with classmates I mentioned so I definitely have issues. Again didnt mean to offend you Im just trying to convey why the OPs friend might not be getting a job. If hes getting that many rejections the market has decided he should channel that passion into something thats not an uphill battle like teaching....or yes by all means something like nursing or pediatrics.
Blackpanther25
Member
Is he an American citizen? He should apply to federal jobs. We always need Early childhood special educators at foreign US bases for early intervention (it's federally mandated).
If not early intervention, he could apply to DODEA to be a PSCD teacher working working with preschool children with special needs.
Sunster
Member
what about male nurses that attend to babies in the maternity ward?
Earthbound64
Banned
Astral Dog
Member
There are more definitions of feminism, something like this would probably be at the bottom of the list
Yeah, I understand. Way to make sure people don't question you is keep consistent. I usually give everyone a pat on the back, boys and girls included. That's my way to let them know that I care about them.
Hugging is great if you're comfortable with it, but I understand that not everyone feels the same way about hugging, so I tend to avoid it. But there's definitely some male teachers that feel comfortable hugging, no matter the grade level or person. And nobody says anything because they understand they will hug anybody.
It's all part of instructional strategies you learn during a regular credential program. Here's the matrix that I followed when I was doing my credential program. I suppose hugging and physically interacting with students are "equal touching".
GeorgioCostanzaX
Gold Member
Its medicine and all the nurses in my case were female so It didnt present an issue: I also think male OBGYNs are weird and my wife didnt want one. Id imagine they have a tough time getting hired as well although male OBGYNs have been around longer.
Earthbound64
Banned
I'm very sorry to hear that happened to you, and certainly that's terrible.
And as well, it's certainly true that feeling being prevalent is a significant factor in his not getting a job.
"The market has decided he should channel that passion into something that's not an uphill battle" is a lousy way to view sexism, though.
Sunster
Member
the only goal of feminism is to bring down the patriarchy. this stigma exists because of the patriarchy.
"I'm uncomfortable" isn't a valid excuse.
GeorgioCostanzaX
Gold Member
Agreed I know its wrong and I would probably be fine if I knew the guy personally/hed been there for a while but my first instinct is what it is.
Earthbound64
Banned
And that's also a terrible way to view sexism.
Things don't have to be that way - you can work on changing yourself.
GeorgioCostanzaX
Gold Member
Therapy is probably the only way honestly.
Earthbound64
Banned
I'm not trying to minimize or ignore what you've experienced personally - certainly that's a difficult and personal thing with no easy answer or solution.
But, yeah, therapy would be a decent idea if practical/possible. No ill intent meant in saying that, therapy for different issues can be a good thing.
That's really messed up.
I believe it. All the teachers at my kid's daycare are female. There are a few guys on staff but they are mostly support / peripheral staff that do other things at the center.
There are a few fields where men are not well represented. Dental hygiene is one (nearly all hygienists are female) and nursing is another. When I was in college studying nutrition maybe 10% of the program were male so I imagine dieticians are another female dominated field.
There are a few fields where men are not well represented. Dental hygiene is one (nearly all hygienists are female) and nursing is another. When I was in college studying nutrition maybe 10% of the program were male so I imagine dieticians are another female dominated field.
Kuroi Gogeta
Member
He's in Canada right? I know where he's coming from. I graduated with a Masters degree in social work and I know the struggle of trying to find a job in a field involving children as a man. For whatever reason, It definitely feels like when it comes to social services and education, being a man is more of a liability than an asset. Your cousin needs to look into doing work as a youth care worker and work with high risk youth, and try volunteering with the YMCA or with local events that may have children in attendance. Looking out of province may also be an option he will need to think about, especially British Columbia and Alberta.
Vicetrailia
Banned
Women are not any different (potentially).
DarkJediKnight
Member
Gonna be honest with you. I didn't find that funny.
Dice//
Banned
One form of discriminations begets another really...sucks for everyone involved in the end.
DarkJediKnight
Member
I will ask him to look into YMCA. He has several friends who do social work, so I'm going to assume he already tried YMCA, but it's a shot.
TimeEffect
Member
Here in canada, male teachers are desired for grade school
Diverse classrooms and the simple benefit of having male role models and people of colour
I think he should try and get qualifications for grade school. He will be more desired there
Kuroi Gogeta
Member
YMCA, Camp counselor, and working with high risk youth are all options he can take. I worked for around 4 years with children and teens with mental health and behavioral issues. He may come to actually love that more than working in day care, but either way those are jobs that have high turnover rates so they're typically on the look out for people who can help with developing programming, acting as good role models, and helping children develop coping skills. If he can cut it as a youth care worker, then getting into ECE would be a breeze since people coming into that field may not know what to do when they get a kid who may display inappropriate behaviors.
nekkid
It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan.
Its pretty sad that theres so many just get a job elsewhere comments to a case of obvious sexism.
In the UK you can legally request the reason why you werent hired - maybe thats something to start doing? Although hell probably end up with bullshit responses, but itll make the places think about it a bit harder. Trying the same places again, too.
In the UK you can legally request the reason why you werent hired - maybe thats something to start doing? Although hell probably end up with bullshit responses, but itll make the places think about it a bit harder. Trying the same places again, too.
But he is a MAN
Laieon
Member
Yeah, I grew up in Texas and had a decent amount of male teachers growing up. Not as many as I did female teachers, obviously though. Most of my baby sitters were even guys, pretty sure the first time I ever played a video game was when my babysitter brought over his gameboy and we played paperboy.
I've been living in Korea the past few years, hoping to go back home next year and teach there. Hearing things like this definitely make me nervous though.
Mister Wilhelm
Member
I've experienced this kind of professional discrimination so many times and it's something that is unfortunately rarely discussed.
Another thing that really bothers me is how people are horribly resistant to accepting the fact that female pedophiles are a thing.
Another thing that really bothers me is how people are horribly resistant to accepting the fact that female pedophiles are a thing.
QisTopTier
XisBannedTier
Pretty much south park did a whole episode about that, people used to use the picture from the cop going NIIIIIIIIIICE inappropriately here all the time
they are, but it's very rare
AmaterasuOkami076
Member
When I went to enrol at College, I intended to go into childcare with a vision of going into this line of work. The person who was interviewing me explained that I'd be the only male in the course and that it's harder to get work in this field due to the stigma that men are harder to trust around young children. I changed my mind at that point and ended up going in a completely different direction.
The way I see it is that for this field, men have to jump through a lot more hoops and are judged far more harshly to be considered for a role that society would rather give to a woman. I don't have children, so maybe it's easier for me to say, but if was to send a future child to a nursery with a male working there, I'd assume he'd have to be exceptional to have been given that role, and would have no problems taking my child there.
Of course, there are many, many more examples of the opposite being true, and it's appalling. I agree this is what feminism is for. It works both ways, and I can only hope we progress to a point where your gender doesn't impact your chances of landing your dream job. I can't imagine it though, sadly.
The way I see it is that for this field, men have to jump through a lot more hoops and are judged far more harshly to be considered for a role that society would rather give to a woman. I don't have children, so maybe it's easier for me to say, but if was to send a future child to a nursery with a male working there, I'd assume he'd have to be exceptional to have been given that role, and would have no problems taking my child there.
Of course, there are many, many more examples of the opposite being true, and it's appalling. I agree this is what feminism is for. It works both ways, and I can only hope we progress to a point where your gender doesn't impact your chances of landing your dream job. I can't imagine it though, sadly.
I do know they are looking to hire male primary school teachers here (for kids ages 5-12) because there are not enough in the field. Same with the creches last I heard, but I couldn't say if you'd face discrimination going for jobs in the creches, I'm sure you might. I remember one of the creche childcare working lamenting the lack of men in the field saying that its good for the kids to have male role-models around.
Is this an American thing? - I assume your American - because over here it is very much the norm for fathers to do hangout with their young children in public. There is also a good chance if you are helping a mother onto the bus with a buggy you'll be given the baby to hold while she folds it up - its mad complicated luv...
Is this an American thing? - I assume your American - because over here it is very much the norm for fathers to do hangout with their young children in public. There is also a good chance if you are helping a mother onto the bus with a buggy you'll be given the baby to hold while she folds it up - its mad complicated luv...
Probably a stigma based on your area. In London, I don't think there is much of a stigma of men working in nursery (Kindergarten). There is a nursery on the bottom of my apartment block and I hear the male teachers/TA's supervising the kids. Even though I am a primary relief teacher, sometimes I get sent to do Nursery and see other male teachers and TA's. In Australia I know some men who teach Kindergarten as well. I was worried about the stigma against male teachers when joining the profession, but honestly I haven't felt uncomfortable or judged while teaching in UK or Australia.
GeorgioCostanzaX
Gold Member
They are a thing but a small minority and usually its a dumb 22 year old fresh graduate still attracted to jock types not sicko white male murdering fucks 99.8% of the time. This thread was a trigger for me so again sorry if Im being uncouth but lonely white Men scare me more than anything. From Mass shooters to pedos its 99% white dudes with mental issues. Fuck Id trust a playful brown person like Aziz Ansari around my kids moreso than a white teenager or recent college grad.
Don't look up the Rotherham scandal then.