My GF let a salesman into our home

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OP did nothing wrong. next time without arguing just let your wife know how you feel and how dangerous a situation such as this could be.
 
Slavik81 said:
I'd consider using a door chain not really opening the door at all. If that's what you were trying to say, then sure.
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Well, that would be opening the door, so I don't know what to tell you here. But no, you are right, people without door chains should just let everyone into the house, because there's no difference.
 
outunderthestars said:
Why would a prison make me feel less safe. At least I know where those criminals are. And if they escape they are going to want to get as far away from the area as possible.

I had to go look it up, but it looks like the closest prison is about 19 miles away. Should I start being scared now?

I've lived in Central Los Angeles, West Atlanta, and Norfolk VA, and felt safe in all of those cities as well. I'm just not going to live in fear based on media driven paranoia.
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The fact that people are jailed should tip you off that not everyone there is a friendly neighbor and there are people living near you that will take advantage of you being so trusting. You're testing probability.
 
Koodo said:
That's not the point I was trying to make (I'm not sure if that would even be considered control). I'd do the same too, but a person wanting to inject themselves with heroin can do that without anyone on sight. How are you going to ensure they don't ever inject themselves? Chaining them to a wall? Do you think that would be moral?

The point is that a woman, like a man, has full autonomy of their own body. They decide for themselves. As a friend or family, you can and should try your best to prevent a loved one from harming themselves, but ultimately it is their decision to make.
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I agree, but I think what this boils down to the OP choosing his words poorly and not this Don Draper scenario people are trying to play off.

At least I hope he chose his words poorly.
 
OPs foot must be tiny to fit into his mouth so easily*.

And you know what having small feet means...


* Then again, maybe you just have a big mouth.
 
fuzzyreactor said:
they are when someone is supporting someone else. Your not my child and im not required to support you by law.
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Nope, so you can split with her whenever you want. She can do the same. I'm not saying that she's smart for staying with someone who feels that just because they make money they can control aspects of her life that in an otherwise healthy relationship would be mutual. I'm saying that your view is belittling to women.

Gouty said:
Translation: My wife makes 100k a year
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I FUCKING WISH.
 
Devolution said:
And if she lives with him in "his house" she can't have company over? That's some controlling bullshit you got goin' on there.
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Let's be realistic though, she wasn't inviting a friend over. She had a stranger in their house and was about to give him money for something she felt pushed into doing. If he was trying control her friends or who she spends her time with he could fuck right off because if you live with somebody as a partner it's your home as well even if you don't pay rent.
 
What about the part when you came in and there was no dinner on the stove?

lol, j/k. But seriously, I get the point some people are making about you treating your girlfriend like she doesn't know any better or something. Then again, you said she was about to throw $55 away for something she didn't even want =p
 
fuzzyreactor said:
they are when someone is supporting someone else. Your not my child and im not required to support you by law.
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Sounds like a real great relationship between equals you have going on here.
 
fuzzyreactor said:
they are when someone is supporting someone else. Your not my child and im not required to support you by law.
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I was under the impression that the issue was more about fear/anger of seeing your wife getting harmed or even worse.

Is it now about the money and who's boss? Not judging you, just trying to understand what's really happening here.
 
I think everyone's missing the point here.

OP was right to be concerned. I'm concerned for my Fiancee when she takes my son to school every morning.

I don't tell her 'Drive the damn speed-limit next time! And lock your car doors when you go through that low income neighborhood for God's sake!'
 
DMPrince said:
he probably would after she ask for his permission.
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Fuck that. If you lost your job and your wife was suddenly supporting the family would you be OK with asking her permission with who you could bring over?
 
VelvetMouth said:
Let's be realistic though, she wasn't inviting a friend over. She had a stranger in their house and was about to give him money for something she felt pushed into doing. If he was trying control her friends or who she spends her time with he could fuck right off because if you live with somebody as a partner it's your home as well even if you don't pay rent.
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Look I'm being told that if someone is the "bill payer" someone else who lives there isn't allowed to act like it's their abode too. To me that includes letting strangers in.

And he's not really helping matters with his "i made 80% of the money" thing he's got goin' on.
 
3N16MA said:
My world fact book seems to be missing that fact. What page is it on?
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I understand that this is sarcasm, what I said is true regardless. Especially when it comes to selling shady, overpriced, unnecessary crap.
 
Any Pittsburgh Gafers want to take this guy up on his offer and shit on his floors?

By the way, I'm not really a woman.
 
Devolution said:
And if she lives with him in "his house" she can't have company over? That's some controlling bullshit you got goin' on there.
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Well, if it were truly my house and she was just visiting (and not paying towards any bills) I probably wouldn't want her inviting people I felt sketchy about into it.

But they supposedly share this apartment so she should have this right.

The 80% argument is laughable though.
 
i agree with the OP here
but she is a grown woman (i hope) and its her decision to let anyone in their house.

I dont know im torn here, she has the right and should be adult enough be make her decision but i dont like having random men in m house...


interesting thread
 
CrankyJay said:
I agree, but I think what this boils down to the OP choosing his words poorly and not this Don Draper scenario people are trying to play off.

At least I hope he chose his words poorly.
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Definitely; can't get much of a read with a heated situation and not knowing the area.
 
marrec said:
I think everyone's missing the point here.

OP was right to be concerned. I'm concerned for my Fiancee when she takes my son to school every morning.

I don't tell her 'Drive the damn speed-limit next time! And lock your car doors when you go through that low income neighborhood for God's sake!'
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It's not his sentiment that's disagreeable.

If his syntax and diction are indicative of his relationship or are properly representing their roles...ouch. But you already agree, so cheers.
 
CrankyJay said:
Well, if it were truly my house and she was just visiting (and not paying towards any bills) I probably wouldn't want her inviting people I felt sketchy about into it.

But they supposedly share this apartment so she should have this right.

The 80% argument is laughable though.
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Yeah if you're like staying over and inviting some dudes I dunno in, you're a douche. But if this is a "I live with this person" situation, I'm just like "oh come on."
 
marrec said:
Only if the stranger is Batman.

Otherwise, I'd totally beat him up, cause I'm a big strong man.
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Big men in jails fall to weapons the size of spoon handles and Human bite force alone can do significant long term damage. You are nothing if not ignorant of the fact that intruders, being people who value their own lives as well, are going to prepare themselves against retaliation from the people they're offending.

An intelligent man does not exert effort when he does not need to regardless of his capabilities.
 
outunderthestars said:
I think the bigger problem is that you apparently treat your girlfriend like a 10 year old child instead of an equal.
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if you act like a child you deserve to be treated like one
 
If the salesman was Bunny Monroe you're about to serious problems.

the-death-of-bunny-munro.jpg
 
wonderkins said:
It's not his sentiment that's disagreeable.

If his syntax and diction are indicative of his relationship or are properly representing their roles...ouch. But you already agree, so cheers.
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That's what I was trying to express yes.
 
I'msorry for not reading the rest of the posts so my advice may have been said already.

The guy won't come back. He is too busy thinking of who his next mark will be. If he has been doing this for awhile, he knows that this comes with his "career" of choice. Plus he has been seen in the area before and chancing to go back because of $55 check is not worth his freedom if he thinks some what logically.

As for your relations with your girl,just tell her how messed up people can be. Also there are better deals on subscriptions online. You had no identification of this guy.He could use the bank and routing number of that check to make purchases online with vendors that still allow the ability to pay in that fashion. But at the same time sound as calm as possible. Don't make her feel that she was wrong but that she over looked some aspects that she may not have seen. Also letting in a unknown guy in your house is very dangerous fr male or female.

Sorry if this is a repeat of some other individual.
 
Let's say her very close friend comes over and brings a stranger with her. Friend says this guy is cool. Is she allowed to let him in?
 
wonderkins said:
It's not his sentiment that's disagreeable.

If his syntax and diction are indicative of his relationship or are properly representing their roles...ouch. But you already agree, so cheers.
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This. His posts have a distressingly consistent tone.
 
Atrus said:
Big men in jails fall to weapons the size of spoon handles and Human bite force alone can do significant long term damage. You are nothing if not ignorant of the fact that intruders, being people who value their own lives as well, are going to prepare themselves against retaliation from the people they're offending.

An intelligent man does not exert effort when he does not need to regardless of his capabilities.
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The only person who prepares better than me is Batman. He's a bit more ripped than me too.
 
As a woman, yes you sound pretty controlling, OP.

Don't get me wrong, what your girlfriend did was pretty damn dumb. There is nothing wrong with telling her that. But to tell her she is not allowed to do something is pretty controlling. I don't know how you actually talked to her, but the way you're talking about her in this thread certainly doesn't sound respectful.

Also, do you pay sole rent? Is the place really yours, and you're just allowing her to stay there? If so, and you're uncomfortable with other people being allowed in your home, you should set up some ground rules with her about it.
 
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