elektrikluv
Member
SLYspyda said:
Well then I think that women who have a major problem with a guy watching porn have deeper insecurity issues that go beyond that. Women who don't masturbate probably care more about it.
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"My Husband Was Addicted to Cybersex"
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Well then I think that women who have a major problem with a guy watching porn have deeper insecurity issues that go beyond that. Women who don't masturbate probably care more about it.
elektrikluv said:
Ding ding ding! Don't most women want men that can make them feel secure? Why wouldn't most women then feel insecure when their men are watching porn? I think women see men watching porn as pretty much almost having sex with another woman, the opposite would be a man having sex with your gf.....how would you feel?
SLYspyda said:
Haha, so you're categorizing girls who are comfortable enough in themselves, their sexuality, and their relationship to be comfortable with their partners looking porn... as a negative?
It's not an issue of the girls being wild, or nymphos. It's a question of security. How secure are they in themselves? How secure are you making them in the relationship? You're probably young. Older girls (or, younger girls who are more mature), generally understand it.
Bear in mind, when they masturbate, it's probably not about you. It's often not about you during sex, either.
elektrikluv
Member
SLYspyda said:
Well its not possible for a man to have sex with my girlfriend, because I am a straight female so I have a boyfriend. And its absolutely LUDICROUS to compare my boyfriend watching porn to actually having sex with a woman :lol
My boyfriend makes me feel very very secure and desirable, and he watches porn! The 2 things are not mutually exclusive.
charlequin
Banned
SLYspyda said:
Men and women both think all kinds of retarded things about one another, but that doesn't make those things right, nor does it make it a good idea to encourage them to think those things more forcefully.
Marriage is not a straitjacket, a binding commitment of sacrifice in which people agree to repress themselves and suffer for one another; it's a partnership, where two people agree to help one another and share together. Sexually, you're not handing your own personal sexuality over to your spouse; you're sharing it with them, letting them in without actually giving up your own personal sway over it.
Masturbation is a normal, healthy part of married life. Committed couples still aren't going to be in perfect sync about when each one wants sex, nor should they expect to be purely dependent on the other for release. Masturbating alone is a way for people to stay in touch with their own personal sexuality, and looking at pornography (or reading stories, or concocting elaborate fantasies that you couldn't enact in real life) is a pretty normal part of that, for members of both genders.
Pornography isn't a purely, unambiguously good thing (there are all kinds of issues with how it's produced, how it shapes people's concepts of what's sexually expected and acceptable, and so on that are complex and don't have a clear "right" answer) but it is a very normal thing. Attempts to bar it or forbid someone from looking at it just leads to a communications breakdown -- the guy looks at it in secret and lies to his wife, which is a destructive pattern to get into. Much better to be open about it, accept that each half of the marriage is a sexual being in their own right and that masturbation isn't the same as sex.
this is was an interesting read in the sense that it made something pretty common like watching porn sound like a catastrophy.
Yes, the guy crossed the limits but it was pretty clear they were not made for each other. The guy was into sadomaso stuff, the raunchy side of sex, she was just a boring housewife, they shouldn't have come together in the first place and for that they are both to blame.
She should not be talking like she is the poor victim cause she has her share of blame in the failing partnership.
Yes, the guy crossed the limits but it was pretty clear they were not made for each other. The guy was into sadomaso stuff, the raunchy side of sex, she was just a boring housewife, they shouldn't have come together in the first place and for that they are both to blame.
She should not be talking like she is the poor victim cause she has her share of blame in the failing partnership.
Sho_Nuff82
Member
Why did it take 3/4 of the story for the person to reveal that their married sex life was terrible?
From this is sounds like she has close to zero sex drive, and didn't even enjoy sex when she 'allowed' it to happen.
How can you then be surprised when your partner becomes impotent (another way of saying, he probably doesn't want to have sex with you ever again) and seeks sexual gratification from other sources? It sounds like he didn't care about her physical decline (at first), but her constant non-interest probably killed his interest in her.
Love is a two way street, and physical love is the same way.
From this is sounds like she has close to zero sex drive, and didn't even enjoy sex when she 'allowed' it to happen.
How can you then be surprised when your partner becomes impotent (another way of saying, he probably doesn't want to have sex with you ever again) and seeks sexual gratification from other sources? It sounds like he didn't care about her physical decline (at first), but her constant non-interest probably killed his interest in her.
Love is a two way street, and physical love is the same way.
Buckethead
Banned
Private Browsing was invented for a reason.
And he'd probably be doing it less or not at all if you were putting out, lady.
Enjoy your awkward, overweight, clothed sex white people!
And he'd probably be doing it less or not at all if you were putting out, lady.
Enjoy your awkward, overweight, clothed sex white people!
andthebeatgoeson
Junior Member
Sounds like a healthy relationship ruined by a douchebag guy. The lady did everything she could at the first sign of trouble: not talking about it excessively, asking him to leave in order to avoid the problem, sneaking behind his back investigating him instead of directly addressing it. I'm not sure what else you could ask of this poor women.
skinnyrattler said:
Well that's not entirely fair - if you found out your significant other was about to pay hundreds of bucks for a lay, it kind of throws you off your game.
I think if you wanted to blame the lady, you have better things to pick on her about (large weight gain + witholding sex + not enjoyingsex/making him stop halfway through) - her not taking her husband paying for hookers and shit talking her on the web too well, well I can understand that.
2 Minutes Turkish
Banned
edit: forget it, I'll probably get banned anyway.
elektrikluv
Member
2 Minutes Turkish said:
Little gifts are nice things to do for an SO, regardless of whether its the man or woman. If a woman expects to just receive gifts and never does little things for her man then she is selfish.
These tend to be joint efforts, its not like the guy is doing the woman a favour by helping clean mess they both make and helping look after kids they both had, it *should* be equal, not a 'little activity to keep a woman happy.'
Women work too. Just as hard as men, having careers and the likes. Hello, 21st century?
And this is wrong too. Sometimes a guy wants something sexually that a woman isn't prepared to participate in, whether that's BDSM or role play or whatever. Not to mention sexual intimacy that can need a spark or chemistry that sometimes fades with time, and a guy can seek that elsewhere, regardless whether his wife is giving him head or not. These all work vice versa too.
Everyone in this thread who thinks it's wrong to look at porn while in a relationship should read My Secret Garden. It's a collection of female sexual fantasies from the 70s. These are the sorts of things that healthy women are thinking, not just during the relationship, but during sex WITH YOU... and it's not visions of your cock.
Sexual fantasy is natural, and both partners need to indulge in it. Men are primarily visually aroused. Women are primarily psychologicaly/emotionally aroused. Just because the male version leaves a trail of evidence and the female version doesn't, doesn't mean it's a one way street.
You aren't betraying your partner. She's doing the same thing. You just need to learn to be open and comfortable with it, and a find a girl who's willing to do the same.
Sexual fantasy is natural, and both partners need to indulge in it. Men are primarily visually aroused. Women are primarily psychologicaly/emotionally aroused. Just because the male version leaves a trail of evidence and the female version doesn't, doesn't mean it's a one way street.
You aren't betraying your partner. She's doing the same thing. You just need to learn to be open and comfortable with it, and a find a girl who's willing to do the same.
Article is too one sided. Protrays the woman has having nothing to do with this.
Men and Women usually stray when they arent getting something what they want from their partner. For women it may be intimacy or making them feel wanted and desired. For men it may be something more visual (like gaining 30 lbs....thats a lot of fuckin weight) or sexual. Whatever it is, both sides are often at fault in some shape or form, unless the partner is just a player that doesnt give a shit. Since this dudes escapades ranged from porn sites to looking at hookers that charged 750 an hour, I doubt hes a player
Men and Women usually stray when they arent getting something what they want from their partner. For women it may be intimacy or making them feel wanted and desired. For men it may be something more visual (like gaining 30 lbs....thats a lot of fuckin weight) or sexual. Whatever it is, both sides are often at fault in some shape or form, unless the partner is just a player that doesnt give a shit. Since this dudes escapades ranged from porn sites to looking at hookers that charged 750 an hour, I doubt hes a player
Count Dookkake
Member
What a jerk.
shawnlreed
Member
masud said:
I always assumed Apple made Private Browsing and the Secure Empty Trash function for just this reason ....
Wow...someone is trolling hard with that shit about girls thinking porn is like cheating. Maybe that's true when they are teenagers who don't know anything, but adult women in my experience don't have a problem with porn unless it somehow cuts into their time with a guy. So it doesn't really matter if you're watching porn or sports or paint dry. If you pay enough attention to your significant other, they shouldn't have a problem with your viewing habits.
Amibguous Cad
Member
Heaven forbid people start to like things different from the norm ("deviant" lololol) because of being exposed to them through pornography.
Littleberu
Banned
Count Dookkake said:
Too late.
Future said:
QFT. I believe the article is "non-fiction" but it is clearly one-sided. She hints at the possibility of her own shortcomings in the relationship, but doesn't really explore any of it.
I can see this article starting a furor amongst some certain social groups (older housewives, etc).
I do find it pretty hilarious that the wife is complaining at the same time that
1. The husband has been "pressuring" her to have sex with him for the past few years
2. The husband has recently been drawn towards fulfilling that desire elsewhere
3. The husband is unhappy with her behind his back
What did she think? "I thought my husband was happy being left sexually unfulfilled for years at a time! How could he be unhappy? How could he be tempted towards other women, just because he hasn't had a healthy sex life for years?" DAMN THE INTERNET!
1. The husband has been "pressuring" her to have sex with him for the past few years
2. The husband has recently been drawn towards fulfilling that desire elsewhere
3. The husband is unhappy with her behind his back
What did she think? "I thought my husband was happy being left sexually unfulfilled for years at a time! How could he be unhappy? How could he be tempted towards other women, just because he hasn't had a healthy sex life for years?" DAMN THE INTERNET!
VelvetMouth
Member
bluemax said:
Are you that desperate for a girlfriend? Jesus friend move on because it's only going to get worse.
VelvetMouth
Member
ilanna said:
Maybe you haven't found the right kink he's into yet or he could just feel uncomfortable watching porn or mentioning it around you. Nothing wrong with that.
My husband gets grossed out by hardcore porn. If somebody is spitting or there are shots of taint and ass zits, he taps out.
He has no problem asking me to downloand and convert IFeelMyself videos though. He loves the natural looking girls being naughty.
Khalifa Jayy
Banned
WTF.
WTF.
WTF.
AOL changed her hubsands password and gave it to her?!
WTF?!?
WTF.
WTF.
AOL changed her hubsands password and gave it to her?!
WTF?!?
elektrikluv said:
Was it really that hard to look at my post from a man's point of view since that's what I obviously wrote it for instead of trying to be funny?
Sure, it's ludicrous, because YOU don't mind porn. Once again, I was speaking with the opinion of women who DONT LIKE porn in mind.
Crunched said:
Yeah, usually it's all like...
"Fuck, what am I going to have for dinner tomorrow night? I've probably got some rice, and there's some pork in the freezer, I suppose, but then I'd need to buy some broccoli. Do cats see in colour or black and white? I forget. I wonder whether cats feel ennui."
industrian
will gently cradle you as time slowly ticks away.
shuri said:
In the UK you'd get fired instantly and potentially prosecuted for aiding fraud. Data protection is serious business here.
Trident said:
I was listening to the Depeche Mode song when I read this. Where's my tinfoil hat at?
elektrikluv
Member
SLYspyda said:
No you were assuming I was a man:
So I thought to correct you, because a woman saying porn isn't an issue is different from a man saying women don't think porn is an issue. Where's the joke?
Obviously you think its impossible for a woman to just not mind porn, there are lots out there who even watch porn themselves.
And generalising what women think:
And its ludicrous in any rational person's mind. You have to be seriously irrational and dumb to equate watching porn to actually having sex with another person. It may be *A* point of view, but it does not make it the right one.
I mean I bet 99% of those women who are adamantly anti porn are thinking of other men as they masturbate or have sex with you, I bet they don't consider that cheating, but its the exact same thing.
2 Minutes Turkish
Banned
elektrikluv said:
You're pretty much right on all counts.
But the fact is, a woman doesn't necessarily HAVE to work. They can get away with NOT working in the right circumstances. A man pretty much has to work regardless until retirement. (please don't bombard me with bullshit excpetions and Jerry Springer examples).
If a woman gets the sex side of things right from the START of the relationship, and makes an effort to look after herself (assuming the man ALSO doesn't become a fat pig), then he won't look elsewhere.
Again, there ARE exceptions to this rule, but generally, it'll be spot on.
Yes, of course women work hard. At least, the ones that DO have to work anyway. But luckily for women, as I said earlier, they can find ways to NOT work. Also, a married woman who doesn't work wouldn't batter any eyelids. A married MAN who doesn't work would be another story.
I've just found in my experience, MANY marriage break-ups have been the result of a frigid wife. Or at least, the problems originally STEMMED from a figid wife/a wife who BECAME frigid/boring.
Again, I'm aware this can work both ways. Men can become fat slobs, or not provide romance and the like, but bedroom problems from people I've known, even in my personal experience, have stemmed from the female. Which unfortunately is often a natural thing. Women just flat out don't want it as much as we do.
Skittleguy
Ring a Bell for me
Electric Gonorrhea: The Noisy Killer.
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