:lol I can't even help but laugh at my situation any more. I'm not putting this information here to get sympathy, or to say everyone's experience with Microsoft has been this ridiculous, no, I'm only writing this out in order to have the whole thing all in one place -- the complete story:
I've been without a working Xbox 360 since May 5th, and it's all Microsoft's fault. It all started on that fateful afternoon when I sat down to play some Rez. I saw them, the lights foretold on forums 'round the internet. Three quarter-circles blinked red in what can only be described as a menacing manner -- I had the RROD.
I played it cool. This happens to everyone, right? I'll call up Microsoft of India, I'll get the coffin, and I'll be playing again in a few weeks tops. In a strange way I felt relieved, I got the RROD before my launch system's warranty was up. I thought of it as a blessing in disguise. I called 1-800-4MY-XBOX and talked to Max, explaining to him that I needed to start a new repair order. I talked to someone who spoke enough English to let me know that a coffin was headed my way. I was ready for the RROD experience.
The coffin came in three days. I was surprised in a good way, I expected it to take longer. I packed it up and shipped it off. Fast forward three weeks, I've heard nothing after tracking the initial shipment to the repair center in Texas. Microsoft's website told me that they had yet to receive the console. I was mad. It obviously arrived, I had the UPS screencap to prove it. I called 1-800-4MY-XBOX again to ask about my console. The language barrier was more apparent this time, with the guy putting me on hold multiple times and eventually asking me to give him a time when calling me back would be convenient. I told him the most convenient time, and he said someone from the repair center would be calling me within the next week. The guy called about a week later and basically danced around the fact that they lost my Xbox. He seemed apologetic yet unresolving in nature, so I asked him what he wanted
me to do about it. He said a refurbished console was being shipped ASAP.
I was happy. It might've taken a month and a half, but I was getting my Xbox back! I could finally catch up on all the games I'd been missing including GTAIV. I got the box and tore it open with the force of Zeus. There it was: the ugly, white, inhaling, PC of a console that I'd missed so much. It was finally home!
Oh, it froze about 20 minutes into my first GTA session. That's okay, right? Probably just a fluke thing. I booted it up again. Freezes after fifteen minutes. Shit.
Shit.
FUCK. I tried other games. Some didn't freeze, but after a few hours of Crackdown, the artifacts around the HUD proved that the console was obviously overheating.
I called. I was angry. The guy on the other end had the audacity to ask me if the console was in a well-ventelated area. I told him I had the RROD (which I didn't yet) and he should send me a coffin. He said he would, and I waited. And waited. Another week and a half passes. It only took three days the first time, why would it take so much longer this time? I call yet again. He said he would e-mail me a shipping label. Great! Had I known that was an option the first time I would've just sent it back in the same box they sent me the DOA system in. Whatever. I got the label, I taped it on, and I shipped it out.
It's almost over, right? I hope(d). I tracked it via UPS again, and watched as over a few days it made its way across the country from Ohio to Texas. This was going more smoothly, nothing more could go wrong, right? It arrived. Thank fucking jumping Jesus jelly-beans it arrived. In the meantime, I would just wait for an e-mail confirming it or something. I waited. Days passed. Maybe a week. I open up my e-mail to find the worst thing I could've: the same message I got the first time, when they fucking lost my system:
Dear Jordan Mathews,
Xbox Customer Support ID#: 107*******
Serial Number:
This e-mail is to let you know that we have received your request for service. However as of today, we have not received your Xbox console and would like to verify that you wish to continue with the service.
If you have not received the shipping materials or are having a problem with the shipment, please contact Xbox Customer Support. If your Xbox console no longer requires service, you can cancel your order by accessing
http://service.xbox.com/servicesignin.aspx. You will need your Windows Live ID and Xbox console Serial Number included above to access the status of your order. Once you have logged in, click on Review your repair status. Or, please let us know and we will cancel the order for you. If we do not receive the Xbox console within 30 calendar days from the date you first requested service, your order will be automatically cancelled. If you wait longer than 30 days, this service request will no longer be valid and a new service request will be required.
If you have questions about this service, you can check our contact options for Xbox Customer Support on
www.xbox.com/support
Note: Please do not reply to this message, as it is not a monitored e-mail address.
No lie, I said "You've got to be fucking kidding me" out loud upon opening this e-mail. I
tracked it to your fucking repair center! I called -- again. I talked to Max -- again. I talked to an associate -- again. Was I stuck in some kind of limbo? Was it all a dream? Has it really been the
whole fucking summer and I still didn't have an Xbox 360? I tried my hardest to explain what was happening, this horrible ordeal that I've been going through just to use the product that I bought and enjoyed. The man on the other end assured me that he would start a new repair order and that I would receive an e-mail with more information in three to five business days.
Well, dear readers, I would not lie to you: when I started this post, there was no e-mail in my inbox. I was doubtful that I would ever see my Xbox again. But upon refreshing my inbox minutes ago, I was treated with this:
Dear Jordan Mathews,
Xbox Customer Support Service Request ID #: 107*******
Serial Number:
Great news, your Xbox console has been shipped and is on its way back to you!
For your convenience, your shipping information is provided below:
Carrier Name : UPS
Carrier Tracking Number : *****************
You may track the status of your package using the UPS website and the tracking number provided above there is also a direct link to the carrier tracking at our Repair Status Page.
If you have questions, please go to
www.xbox.com for the most up to date information.
Thank you for your continued patience.
Note: Please do not reply to this message, as it is not a monitored e-mail address.
Did me writing this post have anything to do with the timing? The skeptic in me says of course not, but let me tell you this: Xbox Repair Support is fucking horseshit, and the two months of Live I'll get for free is not enough for the runaround they've put me through. Make products that fucking work.
What a catharsis.