((All right, take two. Damn, in between missing great music opportunities and losing that last post, today is not my day.))
It's not quite getting dark yet, so Ciel looks around to see if there is anything else that looks interesting. Not too long passes before she comes upon a brightly lit building labeled as a theater. Theaters existed on her home plane, and were the domain of bards and actors. She is curious to see what spin a technologically advanced society like this one has put on the concept.
Approaching the theater, Ciel sees a booth with a bored looking man in it, as well as a bunch of posters that must be showing the various plays. The inside of the booth mentions available movies, perhaps that's what they're called here?
Hmm, The Last Android, Pixney's The Deer King, Manchild Millionaire starring Adam Sandles, Swift And Angry 74, hmm, what's this? Hacksaw Holocaust III? Ciel's attention focuses on a poster depicting multiple frightened teenagers, a man with a hacksaw wearing a butcher's uniform and a pig mask, a multitude of bloodstains, and a slogan saying "On this excursion, will these teens stay calm in the face of evil, or will they lose their heads?" Yes, this will do nicely. She just hopes she doesn't need extensive knowledge of the first two parts to follow along.
Ciel approaches the booth, and asks for a ticket to Hacksaw Holocaust III. "That'll be five credits," the man operating the booth says without looking up. Ciel pays the five credits, and a ticket pops out of a slot near the front of the booth. She goes in, and immediately notices a long line for food and drinks to be taken in to the theater. After a bit of waiting, she gets to the front, and finds a bunch of yellow, fluffy looking food as well as a dispenser that produces an odd, fizzy looking drink. Its appearance and foamy top kind of reminder her of beer, but this is something clearly different. She buys an order of the fluffy food as well as one of the mysterious drinks, and is somewhat troubled by the fact that they cost more than the entry ticket. They turn out to be delicious! She'll have to figure out how these are made for once they leave this plane.
Ciel enters the designated theater room, and is alarmed to find that there is no stage. Rather, this is a large screen taking up the entirety of one of the walls, with images being projected onto it. Ciel finds a seat in one of the upper rows, and as the waiting in line took a little bit, she appears to have made it just in time for the start of the show.
The so-called movie seems to move fairly quickly, with the six teens being introduced within a couple minutes, and the lot of them setting off on a road trip by the five minute mark. The teens are loud and screeching throughout the car trip, drinking copious amounts of alcohol and taking all manner of what Ciel assumes are drugs native to this plane. As she watches, she thinks of how much this would reaffirm Fleshbane's hatred for all things living. Still, it's a good setup to them just going and killing a bunch of people. Or being killed themselves, if the tagline on the poster is to be believed.
After some exposition, the teens arrive at a blatantly abandoned hospital. The shyest looking of the teens questions the wisdom of breaking into an abandoned hospital to party there, but is browbeat into going along with it. The teens kick the door open and go in, continuing to make all manner of noise and having a good time. Some of them remark about how creepy the abandoned hospital is, as if this isn't something patently obvious.
One of the teenage girls wonders off, and starts to hear scraping noises. She starts to get increasingly nervous.
Now we're getting somewhere, Ciel thinks to herself. As the tense background music reaches a crest and the girl is on the verge of tears, one of the male teens jumps out and yells "BOO!" It has now been close to thirty minutes without any gruesome deaths. As the girl angrily storms off, Ciel feels lied to.
As the prankster turns around to leave, he bumps into a heavy-set man standing a little over 7 feet tall. He is wearing a butcher's uniform and a pig mask. A rusty hacksaw is dangling in his right hand. The teen screams and turns around to flee, only for the hacksaw to burst through him. The audience gasps, with a few shrieks thrown in there as well. Ciel begins to applaud, but quickly sees that this is not an appropriate reaction and stops, questioning the audience's sense of what they want from this movie.
Now we're getting somewhere. Though for all this build up, this seems hokey. That's not the sound a young man makes when you ram something large and sharp through his lungs.
The brief scream draws the remaining teenagers back to the entrance to look for their friend. Shortly thereafter, one of them indicates that they found him with much freaking out. The others come around to see fuckwit 1- Ciel has made no effort to learn the teen's names- dead on the ground, his head sawed off. There is some blood and gore, but the lack of organs and viscera leads Ciel to believe that the killer ripped them out and took them off to hang up somewhere. A perfectly valid thing to do with a recreational kill, especially if he's looking to frighten his remaining quarry.
The teens, now panicking, rush back to the entrance and try to leave, only to find that the door has been sealed shut. They pull out odd looking devices from their pockets, and begin shrieking about not having reception moments later Whatever those things are, they'll be of no help.
The teens split up to look for a way out, one group travelling in a pair and the rest heading off alone. The shy one, now dubbed Fuckwit 2, proceeds up several flights of stairs. He is looking around for some kind of exit on the fourth floor when he hears a nearby scraping. Panicking, he darts into a nearby closet. The scraping grows louder as a shadow passes by the door. The scraping begins to get further away. Fuckwit 2 breathes a quiet sigh of relief. Suddenly, the door is ripped off its hinges and the masked killer grabs the teen, flinging him into a wall. Fuckwit 2 tries to get up, but is grabbed by the Killer, who begins sawing his legs off. Ciel is now completely enthralled. Not just hunting the teens but throwing slow kills in too? This is a man that knows how to have a good time. When he begins beating Fuckwit 2 with the dying kid's severed legs,
Ciel can hardly contain herself. She is now seriously questioning the audience's taste for not applauding this spectacle. The Killer chucking Fuckwit 2 out a window ends the magnificent scene.
The scene changes to a young, athletic man- Fuckwit 3, if you will- finding a flashlight. The first thing he decides to do with this novel discovery is go into the basement. He is looking around when he comes across an array of meat hooks, each holding up a slab. He is making his way through when he ends up getting a close look at one of them. To his horror, the meat appears to be human. "Oh my god!" Fuckwit 3 yells. Meanwhile, Ciel is thinking about how novel sculpting and framing kills on meat hooks would be, but dismisses the idea for how much it would stink up a room.
Right on cue, the Killer comes down the stairs, dragging his hacksaw along. Fuckwit 3 actually tries to ambush him, punching up and slugging him in the face. If the Killer felt it, he shows no signs. He swings the hacksaw towards the teen, who is able to duck under it and scramble away. The Killer lumbers after him in pursuit, trying to grab him. Ciel notes how slow and sloppy the Killer's movements are. He's creative, but when it comes to actually killing people, he strikes her as a total amateur. Unless he's just toying with his prey, he doesn't strike her as especially threatening. The teen is able to find a loose meat hook and spins around, successfully driving it through the Killer's mask. The Killer stops for a second, and slowly pulls out the meat hook, letting it clang to the ground. So that's why he's sloppy, he's durable enough to where he doesn't have to know how to be efficient. The teen tries to back away, but this time he gets caught in the neck with the hacksaw. One swing is enough to cleave through most of Fuckwit 3's head, leaving it dangling by sinew. With a kick, the Killer detaches the head and sends his body crashing back into one of the meat hooks. Ciel nods approvingly, having lost some respect for this hacksaw wielding killer for his poor form, but still finding him endearing.
The scene changes to the two teens who went off together, Fuckwits 4 and 5. They have found a patient's room, and for what Ciel can only assume is the effect of the alcohol and drugs or a mental breakdown, they begin using the bed to have sex. Ciel is intrigued; she wasn't under the impression that this would be an erotic showing, and is a little surprised that it can be aired in an open setting like this. This is short lived, as Fuckwit 4's head rolls along Fuckwit 5's body. She shrieks as she realizes that his head has been parted from his body, and that the Killer is mere feet away from her. She gets up and starts running away naked, the Killer casually walking after her. She makes it about 50 feet down a long hallway when she stops dead. The Killer had thrown his hacksaw and caught her in the back. The scene ends with the Killer dragging the barely conscious Fuckit 5 away, Ciel's respect for him somewhat replenished by the unexpectedly skillful throw.
With only one teen left, Ciel expects the movie to end soon. Fuckwit 6, the girl scared soon after they entered the hospital, is roaming along, shouting for the others. Naturally, all this attracts is a now familiar scraping sound. As soon as the Killer rounds the corner, she runs like hell, managing to find an elevator. She gets into it, and the door closes right as the Killer jams his hacksaw forward. Panicking, she mashes the button that will take her to the lowest floor. On arrival, she sees more hallways, and an area marked as off limits. Hearing the scraping once more, which causes Ciel to suspect that maybe this killer is capable of localized teleportation, Fuckwit 6 panics and rushes into the off limits area.
This area appears to be some kind of laboratory, with complex formulas written on boards and equipment that suggests that some form of transportation was being studied here. She has precious little time to loiter, as the Killer enters in pursuit. She runs further in, fleeing for her life, when she comes to a central chamber with a huge rocket in the center. Desperate to escape, she hits buttons on a control panel, causing a voice to announce that the rocket will launch in two minutes. Seconds later, the killer is in the rocket room. Ciel is not entirely sure what she's seeing at this point, but she has a strong suspicion that it's idiotic. The killer chases Fuckwit 6 around the room, and eventually corners her near the mouth of the rocket. He lunges at her, and she ducks in just the right way so that he falls in. She hits the shuttle door button with a sense of urgency, locking the Killer in.
Damn it, no! Get out of there! You're going to get launched into space and she'll get away alive! You have more killing to do! Sure enough, the rocket launches, a bubble coming down in the center of the room to keep Fuckwit 6 from being deafened and burned alive by the takeoff.
Fuckwit 6 stumbles out of the hospital, the front door no longer locked. Crying, she gets in her car and drives off. She is driving off into the night, and as the camera zooms out, a hacksaw can be seen hanging from the bumper. The screen goes black and chase music begins playing. The words "The End?" come up on the screen, followed by credits. From this, she learns that the Killer was named Mr. Hacksaw, but nothing else of value is gleaned. Ciel leaves the theater generally pleased with that use of her time. Things kind of went to hell at the end there and the hero of the story was launched into space, but outside of that, it was an entertaining... movie is the word they use? Yes, it was a good experience, Ciel will have to recommend the concept of movies to the others when they meet back up, along with whatever those snacks were they had.
