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Need a self defense course for my son ASAP

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I just got a call from his Mom I've found out that he has been getting beat up by his classmates. One kid threw his lunch box over the fence into the street one day and another day I've found out that another kid was kicking him in the penis repeatedly. Needless to say I'm in a bloodlust right now and I'm ready to kill someone and their child.

The problem is my son is a meek and mild mannered kid he's a nice boy I swear he is but I know he isn't a fighter. His Mom has always preached that no violence crap (on of our major falling outs) well now she calls crying talking about what do we need to do. So tell me what do you all think. I know any self-defense course will teach him self-confidence (which is what he needs) but, I also want one that is age apporpriate for a 7 year old and will provide him with real world applications.


I'm thinking Judo. Any other suggestions?
 
That's repulsive, sorry to hear that happened to your kid. It's a shame how some children act these days. I think you're spot on about Judo.
 

xsarien

daedsiluap
ManDudeChild said:
That's repulsive, sorry to hear that happened to your kid. It's a shame how some children act these days. I think you're spot on about Judo.

"These days?" Are you joking?
 
ManDudeChild said:
That's repulsive, sorry to hear that happened to your kid. It's a shame how some children act these days. I think you're spot on about Judo.

It's happened for years, you just don't want it to be your kid.
 
xsarien said:
"These days?" Are you joking?

Well it does seem like kids are getting progressively worse. But that's just my opinion. Probably not a good idea to derail this thread so early by getting ot though.
 

levious

That throwing stick stunt of yours has boomeranged on us.
Tommie Hu$tle said:
The problem is my son is a meek and mild mannered kid he's a nice boy I swear he is but I know he isn't a fighter. His Mom has always preached that no violence crap (on of our major falling outs) well now she calls crying talking about what do we need to do. So tell me what do you all think. I know any self-defense course will teach him self-confidence (which is what he needs) but, I also want one that is age apporpriate for a 7 year old and will provide him with real world applications.

If he's undersized I'd say the best thing is to teach him to fight dirty. Making a physical statement is the best way to ward off future bullies.

My older kid is 7 too, but he's a 4'10" tank, but very meek as well.
 

Willco

Hollywood Square
As someone who is proficient in Judo, I think it's great for self-defense. Even moreso, it's a sport that'll teach your kid a lot of values, from competition to patience.

To warn you though, it's not an aggressive form of marial arts and there's no fast kickin', dragon punchin' action. And if your kid has a good instructor, he'll be patient and bring your kid along at a certain, experienced pace, so don't expect him to be taking on street muggers after one week.
 

Dilbert

Member
Wow...that's a tough situation.

The first question which comes to mind is this: Why is he a target for the other kids?

The problem with learning self-defense is that it can lead to escalation. If he gets to the point where he can defend against one guy...the next time, he'll bring friends and will be more motivated looking for revenge. If there is anything you can do which can address the root problem, that might be far more effective.
 

explodet

Member
I hear ninjitsu is popular with the kids these days. A ninja star in the forehead does wonders for a bully's attitude.

On a more serious note, whatever discipline you choose, talk to the instructors and make sure they've got the right attitude towards self-defense. Make sure your kid is learning the right things.
 
He is undersized, admittedly he's a lanky pipsqueak (a chip off the old block I'd say).
I would tell him that but, he doesn't live with me and he and his mother are on less that speaking terms. I'm shocked she had the heart to tell me this (and this was days after the fact). That's a seperate story.

Again if he lived with me that would have been a very easy discussion. I would have given the chop to the throat discussion to him as well as getting up in the middle of math and socking the hell out of that little bastard. But, I'm not fortunate enough to see him like I want to so the next best thing is to get him enrolled in a class and hope there is a kind instructor that can do what I can't right now.


My attitude is that he should have a couse that teaches him self confidence and one that teaches that you should never be afraid to defend yourself but, only for defense never for offence.
 
Judo is a great confidence builder for kids. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu would be good as well.

I'd recommend boxing over anything, but your boy may be a little to young for that. Plus, its a little rough (then, so is Judo). Still, see if there's a Police Athletic League that teaches kids. Trust me on this, boxing will help the kid be tough.

Your probably best going the grappling route. Not as much damage, and allot of clubs are great for kids confidence wise.
 

Willco

Hollywood Square
Biff Hardbody said:
Judo is a great confidence builder for kids. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu would be good as well.

I'd recommend boxing over anything, but your boy may be a little to young for that. Plus, its a little rough (then, so is Judo). Still, see if there's a Police Athletic League that teaches kids. Trust me on this, boxing will help the kid be tough.

Your probably best going the grappling route. Not as much damage, and allot of clubs are great for kids confidence wise.

Eh, Judo is not that rough. The worst I did was sprain an ankle. Boxing is a lot rougher. Boxing is great for getting your body in shape, but unlike martial arts, the focus of boxing is to turn your body into a weapon to beat the shit out of an opponent. You don't stop until he's down. Martial arts should only be about discipline.
 

ElyrionX

Member
Sure, you can put him through those confidence or self defense course but it still does not solve the underlying problem:

WHY are those kids picking on him?
 
Willco said:
Eh, Judo is not that rough. The worst I did was sprain an ankle. Boxing is a lot rougher. Boxing is great for getting your body in shape, but unlike martial arts, the focus of boxing is to turn your body into a weapon to beat the shit out of an opponent. You don't stop until he's down. Martial arts should only be about discipline.

Yes, boxing is far rougher then Judo. But don't tell me that Judo isn't rough. I've seen guys blow out their knees, get koed from hard takedowns, and catch knees and elbows while on the ground. Judo is rough. Oh yeah, broken toes for most and caulliflower ears.

You don't really seem to know much about boxing from your post. Few people have the discipline of a professional boxer. Its as much a martial art as Judo, Kung Fu, Ju Jitsu, or wrestling is.
 

Willco

Hollywood Square
ElyrionX said:
Sure, you can put him through those confidence or self defense course but it still does not solve the underlying problem:

WHY are those kids picking on him?

Because kids are dicks. Welcome to the real world. Kids don't need excuses to pick on other kids. They do this shit all the time. I had that problem once. Some kid kicked me in the balls in first grade after I refused to get off whatever playground thing he wanted to himself.

So the next day I broke his nose. Fair trade.

I haven't been in a real physical altercation since. Some kid tried to take a swing at me in high school, but I grabbed his arm and flipped him on the ground. That's about it for my fighting career.
 

Willco

Hollywood Square
Biff Hardbody said:
Yes, boxing is far rougher then Judo. But don't tell me that Judo isn't rough. I've seen guys blow out their knees, get koed from hard takedowns, and catch knees and elbows while on the ground. Judo is rough. Oh yeah, broken toes for most and caulliflower ears.

You don't really seem to know much about boxing from your post. Few people have the discipline of a professional boxer. Its as much a martial art as Judo, Kung Fu, Ju Jitsu, or wrestling is.

Competition in Judo can get rough, but if you know guys who don't know how to fall, something your instructor should teach you from DAY ONE, they deserve to get hurt.

I'm not a boxer. My father is. There's enough boxing equipment in my basement to get Roy Jones back into shape. It's not about discipline or honing yourself into a state where you much better off. Discipline is completely the wrong word for boxing. I'd say the word DEDICATION is a much better word for boxers. They are extremely dedicated in their craft, but let's be honest. I don't see a lot of retired sensei's walking around with brain damage or mumbled speech.
 

SlickWilly223

Time ta STEP IT UP
donniedarko.gif


"Sick of some jerk shoving your head down the toilet? Well, you know what? Maybe you should lift some weights, or take a karate lesson and the next time he's tries to do it, you kick him in the balls. "
 

Drozmight

Member
Is this school in Texas? If so, the kids in question can and probably will be sentenced to death if you tell the school admins about it.
 
Man, I'm glad my wife has a pro-violence attitude. Our daughter is takin' karate lessons with her old man as soon as she can start kicking shins. I do NOT want to bring a girl into this world who can be taken advantage of.

Anyway, yeah, judo lessons. It's also just a great confidence booster. I was a somewhat meek little brat until I started taking Isshin-ryu karate lessons when I was 9. I never picked fights; my sensei would have turned me into hamburger if I had, but it changed my attitude enough that kids just didn't seem to want to fuck with me -- changed the way I carried myself, and made me vastly more assertive. I think it would be a GREAT thing for your son.
 

shuri

Banned
I was a bit into the same situation than your son was when i was a kid (8-10yo), i took judo lessons for 2 years, and it was a great self-considence booster, and i learned not to be scared from people that were much bigger than me (since i was training with older people)

As long as he knows how to make the difference between using his new learned knowledge to become a bully himself, and using it in self-defence, he will be ok
 
Willco said:
Competition in Judo can get rough, but if you know guys who don't know how to fall, something your instructor should teach you from DAY ONE, they deserve to get hurt.

I'm not a boxer. My father is. There's enough boxing equipment in my basement to get Roy Jones back into shape. It's not about discipline or honing yourself into a state where you much better off. Discipline is completely the wrong word for boxing. I'd say the word DEDICATION is a much better word for boxers. They are extremely dedicated in their craft, but let's be honest. I don't see a lot of retired sensei's walking around with brain damage or mumbled speech.

Man, your statement is so out there I don't know where to begin. I don't know what club you trained at or how long you've been in Judo, but saying that because the guys don't know how to fall they deserve to get hurt is rediculous. Judo is a bitch on the knees, its a bitch on the toes as well. People basically accept that and train anyway. Then you have the various power Judo schools were the guys are beasts and basically whiplash their partners to break them down. Its among the roughest combat sports out there.

As far as boxing not being disciplined or honing yourself into a shape where your better off...I don't know where to begin on that one. I guess you should tell the thousands of inner city kids who get their lives lifted up away from negative shit by boxing that their sport isn't helping them.

It seems your argument is that boxing isn't a martial art in the same sense of Judo because the boxers get hurt. Well shit, its martial . Its not a tea party of a sewing group. I can't get over the fact that your saying boxing isn't disciplined...man, that's new.
 

gofreak

GAF's Bob Woodward
By all means, get your kid some self defense classes as long as a) he's willing to do it and b) he understands the reasons why he's doing it (though this should be self evident to him..but I mean, he should know how to appropriately use any knowledge gained etc.). Also, go "talk" to his teachers/principle. My brother was getting bullied in school, and my Dad literally went ballistic with his teachers. My brother didn't get bullied again...funny how that worked. It may have helped that my dad was a lawyer, but you basically need to motivate his teachers such that it just isn't possible for him to be bullied on their watch. They need to know who is doing this.

Also, don't let your son come home on his own for a while.
 

DarienA

The black man everyone at Activision can agree on
I personally would recommend any form martial arts besides one that is IMO "showy"... Wu Shu is great but these days it's mostly as a performance art.. Tae Kwon Do... It's over-emphasis on kicks in its modern day form is it's weakness....

Judo, and the various forms of karate(I myself spend quite a few years as a youngster with a crazy sensi teaching me Shotokan Karate) are definitely good recommendations.

Make sure you visit the dojo (or 2, or 3), and speak to the instructors... it would be even better if you could observe a class without the instructor(s) knowing that you are evaluating the place.

As well though you may as someone suggested want so speak to the teachers... are these incidents taking place during moments that are suppose to be 'supervised'? If so, somebody isn't doing their job.

Worse case scenario you can always become that kid's crazy father who walks around with a gun.
 

Matlock

Banned
Tell him that the next time someone antagonizes him, just walk away. When he's home, he should train with a heavy bag for about an hour a night...after about a month, he should go over to the other kid's house and knock on the door.

The other kid's not going to do anything, because your son trained for a month. One hit KO!
 

Willco

Hollywood Square
Biff Hardbody said:
Man, your statement is so out there I don't know where to begin. I don't know what club you trained at or how long you've been in Judo, but saying that because the guys don't know how to fall they deserve to get hurt is rediculous. Judo is a bitch on the knees, its a bitch on the toes as well. People basically accept that and train anyway. Then you have the various power Judo schools were the guys are beasts and basically whiplash their partners to break them down. Its among the roughest combat sports out there.

My sensei is one of the few white guys out there in his class and he's judged for the Olympics. Each of his children have won various state titles.

First day of class he taught us how to fall. How to hit the mat. The entire duration of my run at training and competition, only one of his pupils was seriously injured because he - gasp! - fell the wrong way. Only a handful of us, myself included, ever got injured to the point where we were unable to participate for a certain period of time.

It's true, there are a lot of kids who aren't taught balance and how to properly fall. There's a definite flux in overall education from school to school, so I tell people to investigate who is teaching beforehand and their affiliation with whatever institution they represent. Part of regional competition to earn your belt is verbal, where you address certain movies and display techniques. You'd be surprised how many times I heard from various people, "I don't know" or "My sensei never taught me that."

Judo can be rough, but it's not that rough if you know the sport. And it's not like I'm a light guy who challenged lanky, skinny kids. It's no rougher than basketball or any other organized sport.

As far as boxing not being disciplined or honing yourself into a shape where your better off...I don't know where to begin on that one. I guess you should tell the thousands of inner city kids who get their lives lifted up away from negative shit by boxing that their sport isn't helping them.

If you think I believe boxing is a bad thing, and you're wrong. It's certainly takes an incredible degree of dedication and I admire anyone who participates, because it's the single toughest sport in the world. It truly is. There are a lot of good qualities in boxing.

But let's not beat around the bush -- you're training people to beat up other people and that's it. Boxing is not about self defense or improving your body. It's about beating up other people. There's a real difference.
 
Willco said:
My sensei is one of the few white guys out there in his class and he's judged for the Olympics. Each of his children have won various state titles.

First day of class he taught us how to fall. How to hit the mat. The entire duration of my run at training and competition, only one of his pupils was seriously injured because he - gasp! - fell the wrong way. Only a handful of us, myself included, ever got injured to the point where we were unable to participate for a certain period of time.

It's true, there are a lot of kids who aren't taught balance and how to properly fall. There's a definite flux in overall education from school to school, so I tell people to investigate who is teaching beforehand and their affiliation with whatever institution they represent. Part of regional competition to earn your belt is verbal, where you address certain movies and display techniques. You'd be surprised how many times I heard from various people, "I don't know" or "My sensei never taught me that."

Judo can be rough, but it's not that rough if you know the sport. And it's not like I'm a light guy who challenged lanky, skinny kids. It's no rougher than basketball or any other organized sport.



If you think I believe boxing is a bad thing, and you're wrong. It's certainly takes an incredible degree of dedication and I admire anyone who participates, because it's the single toughest sport in the world. It truly is. There are a lot of good qualities in boxing.

But let's not beat around the bush -- you're training people to beat up other people and that's it. Boxing is not about self defense or improving your body. It's about beating up other people. There's a real difference.

I disagree with almost everything you just said.

I don't know your clubs, but here in NYC I've met quite a few Judo players. Nearly all of them had various injuries that consisted of broken toes, various knee and shoulder problems, caulliflower ears, broken noses, broken arms, torn ligaments, black eyes, broken ankles, broken fingers, concussions, and broken ribs. Allot of these guys were doing Judo longer then I have been alive, and were in my opinion, damn good Judoka. It didn't have anything to do with not falling properly, and most of the injury stories were of something just happening in practice.

Hell, Higashi's in NYC have guys so rough that one of the best guys I knew at matwork just wouldn't go there. It was their way of playing Judo. Most of the guys there were supposedly pretty big and would just grab your gi and whiplash the shit out of you.

Its not like eveyr class I saw someone get injured. But hell, myself in one class I had a guy bust my lip open while going for an armbar, and the very next guy triangled me so hard that one of my ears popped and bled.

If your gonna say its no rougher then basketball, well ok. But, these have been my experiences and people really need to hear two sides of the story.

I agree with you when you say boxing is the roughest sport in the world. But, its rediculous for you to come on here and tell what boxing is and isn't and what martial arts should be about. Everyone has their own way of practicing, and everyone has their own goals. Speaking for myself, boxing has strengthend me in many ways. I see the artisty of it. I love the science of it. Beating someone up? No, I don't think about that much. As far as self defense goes, I've said it before and I'll say it again...in my opinion boxing is the single best art you can take for self defense.

I'll take a quote from a Judoka who actually helped me understand boxing, a guy whos been around doing Judo since the 50s, Mark Feignbaum. Boxing is Budo. Its just not Japanese flavored.
 

AlphaSnake

...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
Slip a pump action 12-gauge in his bag. All the cool kids are doing it.

No, but seriously, go for a nice karate class. Shotoken is what I studied for 5 year and those lessons taught me a lot of good. Probably 2 years after I finished shotoken, I got into an enormous fight in my high school gym. I got a scar on my lip out of it, but the kid who I fought got a black eye and really hard knee to the stomach -- he was vomitting for over an hour I heard after that school day. And once again, I'm a pretty thin guy (something I've had little control over for a few years now), and studying a form of self-defense really helped me out in more than once instance too.
 
My son is 7.

Why are they picking on them? I really don't know, quite frankly I don't care. If you can give me a legitimate reason for someone brutalizing your child then 10 points for you. I don't see or talk to him everyday so I don't get everything if I'm lucky I get a monthly update. Probably because he is small for his age, quiet and an easy target. He internalizes so much so he isn't one to resort to getting physical he never has been. The seperation of his mother and I has been hard on him and I'd say that has a good part of why he feels he must take bad things. It makes me want to cry thinking about it. I went to lunch with him today with his grandmother (on his mom's side, who thankfully relishes every chance I get to see him).

I didn't want to talk to him directly about it I just observed him and just see what he had to say or wanted to say. He has never really been a "group" person he is very independent and lives in his own world of imagination. I can honestly say his only "friend" is me.

He never goes home by himself. He doesn't live in the school district in the school he attends. His mother drops him off and picks him up from school.

I'm going to talk to his mother and see what he wants to do. I think martial arts is good for him in several ways it's not something I would wish to force on him if that's not what he wants to do. But he will understand that it is never ok for someone to put their hands on you.
 

Renegade

Banned
I don't think Karate does crap, but then again that's just IMO. I'd say put him in Boxing classes and then drop him in a Public Elementary School and leave him there for a month. He will come out like a fucking maggot that turns into one of those killer, blue, black and yellow African Hornets that leave bruises so big they cause cancer. Just be sure to subdue him in unnecessary situations or you might have a little Mike Tyson in your hands.
 

Vormund

Member
Willco said:
I haven't been in a real physical altercation since. Some kid tried to take a swing at me in high school, but I grabbed his arm and flipped him on the ground. That's about it for my fighting career.

Yep. If you stand up to this shit early on, then the probability of someone picking on you later is lower.

I'm a bit lanky myself, but I don't take shit from anyone, and thus I never got picked on.
 

Hitman

Edmonton's milkshake attracts no boys.
There was this kid at our elementary school who took Karate since like grade 1. Even though he had the lessons we still admitedly kicked his ass and taunted him all the time. Infact the fact that we knew he ha taken lessons made him an even bigger target for some reason. So becareful about sending your kid to some lessons...

I also woud'nt talk to the bully's parents and also would'nt talk to the teachers.. This may stop the physical harrasment but your kid will be known as a taddletale and verbal bullying will probably increase.

I was always the bully at my elementary school so I would'nt know how to approache this. But I'm jsut telling you how I as a bully thought of kids in elementary.
 

bionic77

Member
CVXFREAK said:
Self defense sounds good, but before resotring to that, talk to the parents of the other kids.

Good idea, but I am assuming those kids are going to lie like hell to their parents and of course their parents will take their word over his. The whole situation sucks though, if some punk was fuckin with my kid I would have to restrain myself from slapping the fuck out of him.
 

mattx5

Member
Lessons are good, but as mentioned before, he may become an even bigger target because of them.

I went through the same shit as your kid in school. I was (still am) really small. I took karate lessons, but that doesn't really build physical strength so much as technique (I know people will argue with me on that, but when you're a kid....)

The best thing you can do is tell your son to use words. Not words like "You're hurting my feelings", but words like "Step off you fat ass piece of motherfucking shit or I'll stick my foot in your ass and dangle you from a lamppost by your miniscule nuts.". At 7 years old, it'll probably shock em more than anything.
 

ShadowRed

Banned
Tommie Hu$tle said:
I just got a call from his Mom I've found out that he has been getting beat up by his classmates. One kid threw his lunch box over the fence into the street one day and another day I've found out that another kid was kicking him in the penis repeatedly. Needless to say I'm in a bloodlust right now and I'm ready to kill someone and their child.

The problem is my son is a meek and mild mannered kid he's a nice boy I swear he is but I know he isn't a fighter. His Mom has always preached that no violence crap (on of our major falling outs) well now she calls crying talking about what do we need to do. So tell me what do you all think. I know any self-defense course will teach him self-confidence (which is what he needs) but, I also want one that is age apporpriate for a 7 year old and will provide him with real world applications.


I'm thinking Judo. Any other suggestions?



LOL that just cracks me up. Seriously go to your ex-wifes/baby'smomma get your son and her in the same room, tell him to watch this and beat the shit out of her. Then look at him and shake your bloody fist in his face and say, "Fuck that non violent shit, see what it gets you. The next time some punk kicks you in the dick, beat him like I just beat your mother."


Ok really seriously, dude you need to go to school talk to the teacher/principle let them know what's going on. Then ask to have a conference with the kids and their parents allong with you and your son. They will most likely deny they did anything, but what this does is to let the kids know that others know what is going on and they wont be able to get away with screwing with your son without being told on. As far as getting him out of his shell, get him involved in after school activities that involve others. Judo or ather forms of karate are a good start, but not for the reason you and others have talked about. Contary to the movies you don't walk into a dojo and 2 hours later you can puncj your enemy out and walk off with the girl. You would be giving him a false sense of power which will backfire and make him more introverted should he be accosted by these kids and he thinks he can now defeat them because he's taken a couple of classes worth of Judo. What karate and judo will do is foce him to socialize with others and through that learn how to make friends and not feel alone. This will buffer him against the ridicule he feels when others make fun of him or pick on him. From what you have discribed as of now he has no friends so when he gets picked on it's worse because in his mind he has no one to turn to or talk too. This could after a while lead to self loathing and depression. Having friends and others that like him will let him know that these others punks are just being mean and just because they don't like him doesn't mean he deserves or needs to put up with their treatment of him. Well that's my 2 cents worth of pop pychological advice for you.
 

Gruco

Banned
I've been backburner considering taking some kind of lessons for a while now. How much of a time commitment is involved? And does anyone have any suggestions of what might be good for a lanky 23 year old accountant has has little motivation for trying something beyond the-hell-of-it? Or at least where I could do some research...
 
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