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NFL 2016 Offseason Thread |OT3| - With the 29th pick of the 2016 NFL draft...

FMT is a dad! How best to celebrate?

Results are only viewable after voting.
M

Milchjon

Member
Greg said:
check the mirror - that wasn't a dream
Click to expand...

I wish.

My dream life is a mess. I spent most of the dream thinking about how I couldn't afford it.

Yesterday I had a very long and very technologically unsound dream about trying to save photos off an SD card after I had fallen into a lake with my phone.
 
D

DMczaf

Member
Bread said:
i have a job

you work for me
Click to expand...

giphy.gif
 
D

Dutch Gronk

Banned
People have 700 gig porn collections.

What does one do with 700 gigabytes of porn? And how do you store that on your computer? Do you label all the videos on actors/genre?
 
K

Kave_Man

come in my shame circle
Holy shit just got home from the game.

Wow, just wow.

Still a long way to go but a best of 3 now.

Feels good man!

Especially a shout out to every jackass who called us the worst team to ever make a conference final. Eat a gigantic pile of shit assholes.

ToMjGplXmltJoa2pswU.gif
 
D

Dutch Gronk

Banned
I'm still undecided on the #CivilWar going on in here.

I guess I'm like Thor. Sitting at home, watching my 700 gig porn collection, playing with my hamer and remaining neutral.

Like Zweden.
 
S

Sanjuro

Member
Kave_Man said:
Holy shit just got home from the game.

Wow, just wow.

Still a long way to go but a best of 3 now.

Feels good man!

Especially a shout out to every jackass who called us the worst team to ever make a conference final. Eat a gigantic pile of shit assholes.

ToMjGplXmltJoa2pswU.gif
Click to expand...

It's easy to beat up on scrubs like LeBron. Say Paul Pierce in the mirror three times, motherfucker!
 
C

cdyhybrid

Member
Kave_Man said:
Holy shit just got home from the game.

Wow, just wow.

Still a long way to go but a best of 3 now.

Feels good man!

Especially a shout out to every jackass who called us the worst team to ever make a conference final. Eat a gigantic pile of shit assholes.

ToMjGplXmltJoa2pswU.gif
Click to expand...

What did you do to get thrown out?
 
Goro Majima

Goro Majima

Kitty Genovese Member
Kave_Man said:
Holy shit just got home from the game.

Wow, just wow.

Still a long way to go but a best of 3 now.

Feels good man!

Especially a shout out to every jackass who called us the worst team to ever make a conference final. Eat a gigantic pile of shit assholes.

ToMjGplXmltJoa2pswU.gif
Click to expand...

I'm about to switch my allegiance over to #TeamNamedAfterJurassicPark

I'm not a loyal basketball fan

Bread said:
imagine never having to go to the library to masturbate ever again
Click to expand...

sensiblechuckle.gif

Dutch Patriot said:
People have 700 gig porn collections.

What does one do with 700 gigabytes of porn? And how do you store that on your computer? Do you label all the videos on actors/genre?
Click to expand...

I imagine some people are out there jerking it off 5 times a day or more. And I'm assuming those people want high quality 1080p stuff?
 
B

bionic77

Member
Dutch Patriot said:
People have 700 gig porn collections.

What does one do with 700 gigabytes of porn? And how do you store that on your computer? Do you label all the videos on actors/genre?
Click to expand...
I think they make 6TB HDs now (mechanical not SD so you might have to wait a few milliseconds longer to load up that porn) so storage should not be an issue. Storage is cheap.

As for what do they do with it? I guess he has wants to hold onto the memories of the wanks like a lot of people want to hold onto to memories of a time, place, or a meal with their photos.

I will say as an old guy the idea of keeping porn doesn't seem that weird to me because everyone used to do that. But porn was hard to get for people in the 80s. Even playboys were precious. But not any longer. The times are a changing.
 
B

bionic77

Member
wienke said:
I imagine some people are out there jerking it off 5 times a day or more. And I'm assuming those people want high quality 1080p stuff?
Click to expand...
You guys are going to think I am crazy, but I think porn is much better suited for low res movies.

The girls look a lot hotter when it is sub 480p. On the downside you can't see the dick pimples if you are into that sort of thing.
 
D

Dega

Eeny Meenie Penis
bionic77 said:
You guys are going to think I am crazy, but I think porn is much better suited for low res movies.

The girls look a lot hotter when it is sub 480p. On the downside you can't see the dick pimples if you are into that sort of thing.
Click to expand...

lol I've actually thought this too.
 
M

MechDX

Member
Texans first day of OTA"s impressions Brock Osweiler's presence gives Texans feeling of optimism


Football fields protected by a "PRIVATE PROPERTY" sign were hounded by 14 waiting media members and eight anxious TV cameras.

When the zoo was finally allowed in Monday, the camera total grew to 16 and I soon lost count of the foaming-mouth reporters.

Who can blame me?

The White Stripes' "Seven Nation Army" was blasting near Kirby Drive - "I'm gonna fight 'em off. … Right before the Lord." Your again-beloved Texans were semi-officially back. And the once-in-a-generation sight we've waited two whole months to see stood right before our eager eyes.

Brock Osweiler.

Wearing shorts, a jersey without pads, tights and a chinstrapped helmet.

Oh, man, it was sweet.

The four-year, $72 million savior also threw some pretty sharp passes to a bunch of Texans also wearing shorts. And let me tell you, football faithful: The (otherwise absolutely trivial and meaningless) first day of OTAs was athletic beauty in motion if your last memory of a quarterback in this city is five turnovers and 30-0 Chiefs at DOA NRG Stadium.

"It was fantastic. This is what football is all about," said Osweiler, obviously as pumped as his new home city to kick this big 2016 thing off.

Tragically, we have to wait 110 more days until everything becomes real. But with the Rockets still hanging out in the unemployment line searching for James Harden's coach and the Astros rivaling the Rockets as the most disappointing team in town, the Christmas-like debut of the Texans' organized team activities was easily the finest outdoor event around.
Click to expand...

Now, I know what you really want to know.

How was he?

How did Houston's next potential mayor do during his first day on the job?

Is Osweiler really worth $72 million of Bob McNair's couch pennies?

Bill O'Brien will ban me from NRG forever if I give away too many OTA secrets, and the Texans sort of have a CIA thing going on sometimes. But I can create this mental image for the QB-starved blue-and-red zealots, and you can dream away the rest of your day replaying it in your football-obsessed mind:

Arm strength evident

Osweiler smoothly and confidently dropping back. Second-year receiver Jaelen Strong running a route I'm not allowed to describe. The ball fired perfectly out of the reach of a grasping-at-air defender. Strong sucking in Osweiler's offering just as he runs out of free space.

Bing, bam, zoom.

Holy moly, Bossweiler.

Take that Brian Hoyer and Ryan Mallett. And never haunt this city again.
Click to expand...

I :jnc at the bolded
 
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