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NFL Off-Season Thread 4 - The Bears Still Suck

Goro Majima

Goro Majima

Kitty Genovese Member
Wes said:
I would hope you all show my English the same support you gave Dutch's Dutch.
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squicken said:
I cheer for the Anglosphere in general, so go England! I'll also never forgive Italy for the WC Final in 2006
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It's weird, I want to like the English but I feel like we should have some sort of intense rivalry as well.

I tend to default to the Germans because, you know, Deutschland Uber Alles.
 
D

Dutch Gronk

Banned
Watch some of the Le Mans 24 hours now before the Italy-England game.

The way these guys go around the track in the middle of the night is so fantastic. So so impressive to see.
 
Z

Zvonimir Boban

Banned
Reasons why we should all cheer for Italy:

Andrea Pirlo


DescriptiveFormalCurlew.gif
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a095b62ba601cdf2e9b5ff3d0e9c8069_pirlocoolpen.gif

pirlo.gif


The coolest man on the planet. While other youngsters sprint around doing fancy tricks and working up a sweat trying to impress the ladies, Pirlo doesn't bother with any of that shit. It has been rumoured that he once jogged five paces but this has never been independently confirmed, instead he strolls nonchalantly around the middle of the pitch like he's enjoying a gentle walk in the park stopping occasionally to spray laser-guided passes in all directions. Why so casual? Because he has his priorities in order:



  • "After the wheel, the PlayStation is the best invention of all time"
  • "Pirlo vs [Alessandro] Nesta was a classic duel back in our [AC] Milan days. We'd get in early, have breakfast at 9am and then shut ourselves in our room and hit the PlayStation until 11. Training would follow, then we'd be back on the computer games until four in the afternoon. Truly a life of sacrifice."
  • "I spent the afternoon of Sunday, July 9, 2006 in Berlin sleeping and playing the PlayStation. In the evening, I went out and won the World Cup."

On what was going through his head when he was walking to the penalty spot to take the first penalty in the World Cup final against France:


  • "Being first on the spot, kicking off that torture in the biggest, most incredible game that a player can play or imagine.That's not necessarily good news. It means they think you're the best, but it also means that if you miss, you're the first on the list of dickheads.
    I lifted my eyes to the heavens and asked for help because if God exists, there's no way he's French"

Released by his club Milan in 2011 because he was old and over the hill, he was signed by Juventus for free and promptly led them to to the Italian championship and an undefeated season.

Because he is fucking awesome.

Mario Balotelli


Mario-Balotelli-Italy-008.jpg


The man is batshit insane to such an extent that you could, and people have, made up outrageous stories about him and everybody believes that they are all true. Because he is fucking mental.

Some of the true stories about him:

  • Crashed his car and when police arrived on the scene and searched him they discovered thousands of pounds of cash on his person. When asked to explain why a young black man was carrying so much cash around, he answered:

    "Because I'm rich"
  • The night before a huge derby game against Manchester Utd the fire brigade had to be called to his house because the idiot had set off fireworks in his bathroom.

    Naturally he is too crazy to be embarrassed by any of this so he scored two goals the next day and they won the game.
  • Was detained by authorities for entering a women's prison without authorisation. Why did he do it? He was bored and the front gate was open so he just drove right in.
  • Watched a movie about the Naples mafia so he went to Naples himself and asked Mafia bosses to give him a guided tour of the seedy underbelly.
  • When his mother was staying with him, she sent him to the store to buy various household essentials like an ironing board. He returned with a giant trampoline and a couple of scooters instead.

His missus is pretty hot:

Fanny-Neguesha1.jpg

Fanny-Neguesha-1.jpg


Did I mention he's fucking insane?

Antonio Cassano

Cassano-funny.jpg



  • Also insane.
  • Has failed to come remotely close to fulfilling his potential because he loves sex and doughnuts more than working on his fitness.
  • Suffered a stroke and minor brain damage in 2011, underwent heart surgery and against all the odds was back representing his country at Euro 2012 six months later.
  • Seriously, he loves sex and eating. “I had a friend who was a hotel waiter. His job was to bring me three or four pastries after I had sex. He would bring the pastries up the stairs, I would escort the woman to him and we would make an exchange: he would take the girl and I would take the pastries. Sex and then food, a perfect night.”

His water-polo playing wife is also pretty cute:

carolina-marcialis.jpg


Honourable shoutout to Gianluigi Buffon, who is so handsome and fantastic and wonderful that nobody gives a fuck that he's actually a fascist.

gianluigi-buffon-hairstyles12.jpg



Also, their anthem is loads of fun
 
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