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NFL Offseason Thread - Who cares who won we got a draft to prepare for!

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JABEE

Member
It's gross unless they use my script (which doesn't involve Bron and instead relies on time travel).

Magic Johnson and Scottie Pippen combine to form a team to win more championships than Jordan did. Magic doesn't get AIDs and he wins 11 titles in 15 years.

Also, aliens from outer-space come down and challenge the Looney Tunes to a pick-up game of basketball.
 
Riley only uses those words in one of the only places an upstanding white person would use them. In church, at a Kenny Chesney concert, or the Republican National Convention.

Don't Bionic me!

*JABEE was banned two weeks later*

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Spinluck

Member
One thing that annoys me about gaf and these threads. You got half who liked the film going omg no and then a bunch of movie snobs omg lol you guys liked this trash.

If its a Marvel MCU thread you get the posters hating the movie with Batman avatars and saying they are impartial and it looks like shit

gaf movie snobs are the worst. no fun allowed.

also, i find it weird how in the jordan vs lebron wars people bring their personalities into the matter. like they know either of them personally lol. i've heard and read tons of stories that make jordan sound like one of the biggest douches ever.

the only way lebron can match that level of doucheness is by going back to cleveland next year, giving those fans hope again (and not winning anything), and then leaving to form a stacked 2016 lakers team (bionic's dream).
 

jakncoke

Banned
So House of Cards might be filmed outside of Maryland if it doesnt get some tax breaks again, just seen someone threaten to stop watching HOC if it wasnt shot on the East Coat. GAF can be so lol sometimes
 

Kastrioti

Persecution Complex
Careful bro.

I got banned for less.

Good to have you back bionic.

I`ve been late with news but I just heard Scott Linehan got hired as OC for the Cowboys. He is a solid OC if he has weapons, but his playcalling can become predictable and frustrating.

Get ready for your double reverses, constant slant calls and passing out of shotgun on 3rd and 1.
 

XiaNaphryz

LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
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Previously, in NFL-GAF Prison Chronicles:

NFL-GAF Prison part 1.
NFL-GAF Prison part 2.
NFL-GAF Prison part 3.
NFL-GAF Prison part 4.
NFL-GAF Prison part 5.
NFL-GAF Prison part 6.
NFL-GAF Prison part 7.
NFL-GAF Prison part 8.
NFL-GAF Prison part 9.
NFL-GAF Prison part 10.
NFL-GAF Prison part 11.
NFL-GAF Prison part 12.
NFL-GAF Prison part 13.
NFL-GAF Prison part 14.
NFL-GAF Prison part 15.
NFL-GAF Prison part 16.

As always, click on any image to get the full res screenshot.

-----

Still upset at wetting himself earlier in the day in front of everyone at lunch, cajunator jumps onto MechDX to vent some frustration.

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We get our daily funds, and use most of it to order a table saw.



Over in the holding cell, everyone's fast asleep. Except for Fox again. Maybe he has insomnia.



yankeehater, delirious from lack of sleep, jumps onto Fantomex's bed.

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A few hours later, he jumps on to MechDX next.

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15 days straight now for Kave. This morning though it appears he assaults DM as he showers.


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In the other shower, Fantomex moves in on squicken.

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MechDX and squicken get out as fast as they can.



Futurevoid's family and Dutch's girlfriend arrive for a visit.



On morning kitchen duty are JABEE, Dutch, SpinDasher, Greg, and BlackGhost. BlackGhost really has a short fuse, and is bitching about not being able to take a break soon enough.



Meanwhile Kave and RBH are on cleaning duty.



RBH tries to clean DM's cell but is rebuffed. He cleans the doorway in an act of defiance.



Our new fence in the outside area means prisoners can now go fetch deliveries. Greg picks up more ingredients to store in the kitchen.



BlackGhost finally loses his temper and starts punching things. He attacks the fridge as JABEE and Dutch move away.
You can see guards starting to approach from both the admin wing and outside.

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BlackGhost destroys the other fridge completely.

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He turns his attention to SpinDasher as the guards enter the room.

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BG attempts to resist but is quickly put down.

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The guard escorts him back to his cell for a lockdown penalty.



A workman repairs the damage done. The ingredients inside are ruined and will have to be dumped. This could affect the next day's meal preparation.



Lunch time, and BlackGhost reappears from his penalty still pissed off.

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He shoves a bunch of other inmates around trying to incite a fight, but a guard comes quickly to break things up.

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With only one guard to fend off this time, BlackGhost does a better job defending himself. BG tries to get other inmates to get in the way as shields.

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The crowd moves away and BG is soon backed against the wall.

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He ends up getting knocked out unconscious.

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A guard watches over him while they wait for medical help to arrive as the work shift resumes.



Wanting to test their emergency systems, the warden decides to call in paramedics for a small fee. Overkill for something like this, but a worthy test he believes.

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The paramedics revive BG to the point he can be escorted to his cell.

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As the guard escorts BlackGhost back to his cell, the warden calls for a cell block inspection as a safety precaution.



As usual, a number of contraband items are discovered during the search.



A shiv is found in DM's cell. They find him in the common room with his newly formed crew and cuff him, and give him a penalty in solitary. He finally will face time in the tiny cell room.

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Doomsayer, Coldplay, Kave, Frankman, and Cloudy would also get busted.



A bottle of booze is found in Buckethead's cell, and he is also given time in solitary.

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BlackGhost can't seem to catch a break - he also is found to have contraband in his cell and his given his third penalty of the day.

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All of these recent events are causing tension to rise for everyone. Rors and Futurevoid are nearing their breaking points.



In a rage, Futurevoid starts busting his toilet up. A guard comes in to calm him down.

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He is quickly subdued and cuffed. Meanwhile a naked Rorschach and naked RBH walk down the halls towards the shower.

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Greg, Dutch, and SpinDasher join them for a late shower. Greg gets in a quick verbal jab at DM in solitary before jumping in the shower room.



Meanwhile in the holding cell, cajunator, yankeehater, and MechDX manage to get the beds this night.



As midnight rolls around, we purchase a pressing machine and designate the room as the workshop.



Soon after the work crew starts hauling in raw materials.



We assign the max amount of workers in the space, despite there being only 2 work stations. A bunch of high strung inmates in a room full of power tools, what could possibly go wrong?



-----

In the next few updates, with the reduced meals, long work shift hours, new laundry and workshop rooms setup, more inmates, and rising tensions among the population, some major shit's about to go down!

-----

Reminder - For anyone wanting to see the master list of who's in the game, who needs more in-depth prison bios, and info on how to get your name on the list or more info for your character, go to this post:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=96106213&postcount=15013

And as always, all images and posts are being archived here: https://xianaphryz.imgur.com
 

Kastrioti

Persecution Complex
Squick who are the Lions taking at #10?

I`m starting to think Anthony Barr may drop to us so he could be an option over a Mike Evans or Sammy Watkins.
 

Kastrioti

Persecution Complex
Everyone makes fun of me because of my belief that Stafford has and will be an elite QB.

You`ll see, you`ll all see.

Lions Superbowl odds as of now: 33 to 1. Put your money down.
 

bionic77

Member
Yeah the downfall of online dating is that you are both aware (though it goes unspoken) that you're still talking to other people and maybe even making plans.
Wouldn't it be more effective to lay a trail of bacon and cheese from the local bar to your apartment to your penis?

Once you avoid getting your manhood bitten off it seems like a surefire way to get laid in the land of scones.
 

Goro Majima

Kitty Genovese Member
Wouldn't it be more effective to lay a trail of bacon and cheese from the local bar to your apartment to your penis?

Once you avoid getting your manhood bitten off it seems like a surefire way to get laid in the land of scones.

Well I live in Texas so do you mean a trail of barbecue and Tex-Mex?

The women here are very good looking but many of them want a "country boy".
 

bionic77

Member
Well I live in Texas so do you mean a trail of barbecue and Tex-Mex?

The women here are very good looking but many of them want a "country boy".
Get a pick up truck, confederate flag, cowboy boots and start talking shit about Obama. Then take this to the local church.

You will be swimming in pussy.
 
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