And they were come unto a time called March NPD, that is to say, The time of a final judgement, he gave gamers a shooter to play, mixed with mechs: and when they had tasted it, they would not buy. And when they had crucified him, Sony, Amazon and Valve parted his IP among them, casting lots; and they sat and watched him there. And they set up over his head his accusation written, THIS IS XBOX® ONE™ THE ALL-IN-ONE ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM. Then are there crucified with him two robbers, EA on the right hand and Zynga on the left. And they that passed by railed on him, waggling their arms in front of his camera, and saying, Thou that createth DirectX, save thyself: if thou are the Son of Microsoft, buy your way down from the cross. He bought exclusive games; his own success he cannot buy. He is the King of the Living Room, let him now come down from the cross, and we will believe on him.
Now from the sixth hour there was silence from the XBOX division. And about the ninth hour The One cried with a loud voice, saying USA, USA why hast thou forsaken me? And the One cried again with a loud voice, and yielded up his spirit. And behold, the Gaming Age Forums were rent in two from the top top the bottom; and the ban hammer did fall and many avatars of the followers that had believed in him were forcibly exchanged.