Huh, wish it were down here. The market choices seem weird. It's a lot of mid size markets where the people who want venison probably have easy access to venison.
So I have come to the end of my fist Civ VI run. Randomed start, got the Brazilians (why the fuck is some rando Brazilian leader in this game...) who are super shit. Their bonus is something like +2 happiness to public nudity. Worthless in every regard. Anyway, I decide the only real chance I have is rapid resource acquisition which will allow me to get into trade agreements with everyone and they'll leave me the fuck alone while they fight their wars. First thousand or so years were great. I ignored everything except technology knowing that a science/tech victory was my only hope and in every other Civ game if you dedicate your country to supplying the rest of the world resources, no one will fuck with you and you can do what you want. Like Central America. I had pacts with the other 5 countries I met, was in a super resource rich area and expanded to an island to offer some exotic resources. I was way far and away the most technology advanced civ. I couldn't project power but my defenses were solid. In every other Civ game except Civ II which sucked I had basically won the game by the time we got to like 50 AD. Only real challenge was barbarians but I just conscripted some city state fuckos to do my fighting for me. Basically using them like Hilary uses whichever Muslim group the CIA classifies as freedom fighters to fight whichever they classify as terrorists....and switching between the two almost as often. It was easy, game is ugly, I was bored. But I was on a conference call this morning so I went through the motions figuring I'd have it wrapped up by 1940 or so at the worst.
Suddenly, motherfucking NORWAY comes from out of nowhere and skull fucks Sao Paolo. Just steamrolls em. Like, 4 turns and the city is guacamole. I was completely unprepared. I was super far advanced technically but apparently horses are immune to catapults or some shit. Anyway, it woke me up. This is really unlike Civ. It wasn't like we were on bad terms, or I was encroaching his terrority or anything. I had three trade routes going to Norway, we had open borders, we had declared friends. I had literally no enemies. Just out of nowhere he bends me over and shoves a rakfisk up my stinkhole.
Clearly I was totally unprepared. I only had four cities to this point and one is an island paradise doing nothing but providing a Destination Experience for other rich assholes to fuck and suck each other while loading their ships with monkeys and diamonds. I had to smite that Gomorrah to have the resources to try and mount a defense but end of the day my heart wasn't really in it. All of my cities were dedicated to pushing Brazil to the stars as fast as their thong clad asses could go. I was so impressed with this base level of deceit from a Civ game that usually doesn't start happening until the nuclear age that I watched my entire Brazilian world burn.
It was the best workforce development conference call I have ever been on.
Civ VI Review: 5 stars