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OH CRAP THE WORSE HAS HAPPENED.
- Thread starter ShadowRed
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Yeah, dude, if he's yours, jump right in. Nothing is worse than an out of touch dad that's old and sucks. You're one year ahead of me in terms of how old the kid is and how old you are. I'll be 29 when Jason is 4.ShadowRed said:
But yeah...always with the paternity test...I think they're like $400 though. it's free if ya get em right after the birth but yeah...yea know....
assuming you really are the father, I found that story pretty touching. Sucks that you missed first four years but I hope you can make the best of everything now for the three of you. Good luck with it, and you're as ready now as you'll ever be.
Aside from the DNA test do some homework on the mom, she may not have wanted you to know you had a child at all there are some girls out there willing to have children and never have the father involved. She may have wanted to screw some other guy over at the time and failed or has had a really hard time since then with other guys so your pobably plan B or C.
This situation kind of sucks for the child. He will always wonder why you weren't there for his first 4-years (if he somehow learns it). I just hope you do what you think is right, and if even if the chick is a hottie, you don't want to get with her just because you have a child. There is nothing worse than having your parents be in a relationship and not love one another, the child sees this, and he grows up differently than he would if you had just not been together and not forced the love.
Blackace
if you see me in a fight with a bear, don't help me fool, help the bear!
same thing happened to my brother. He has a wonderful son... But let me give you some advice if I could. Don't start a family because you have a son. I know this sounds backwards (how else are you going to start a family?) But really don't rush into anything, if you don't love her, or can't love her you are going to hurt yourself, her, and your child. Just be the best father you can without forcing yourself into a bad situation. If you and her can work out great. But don't force it because I saw what happens when you do... (Its my brother's story and not for me to tell...)
Wow, that blew MY mind. Very Kill Bill-esque with a little less animosity and cool fights. Anyway, I'd back up the don't start a family claim. But maybe give it a try. Explain to her going in with that mentality won't work and try to take it slow. Like starting over. I definetly couldn't imagine anything else working. And yeah, just try to be a good father. Be dedicated to your son. Just as soon as you get that parternity test.
meh, think it over, man. the kids already past the shitty part of childhood-- potty training, etc.
definitely make sure if it isn't yours. dont be ashamed if you're not ready man, but if it is your kid, i'd highly avoid being a deadbeat. you can still be a good father even if you dont get back with the woman.
but if she's fine as shit... well, haha....
definitely make sure if it isn't yours. dont be ashamed if you're not ready man, but if it is your kid, i'd highly avoid being a deadbeat. you can still be a good father even if you dont get back with the woman.
but if she's fine as shit... well, haha....
D
Deleted member 4784
Unconfirmed Member
I find it highly suspicious that she has waited four years and relied entirely upon chance to get a hold of you again. What many of the people formulating possible excuses for her (lack of) actions fail to take into account however is that Uncle Sam would have been knocking on your door years before you ran into this girlÂ’s sister at a club. So, unless she listed her son on the birth certificate as being a literal bastard, there's really no telling who the childÂ’s father could be. Regardless, whether you believe her or not, I'm in agreement that you undergo a paternity test. If it this does turn out to be your son, youÂ’ll have to shoulder the additional burden of paying out four years worth of back child support with interest to the state.
My father once told me about a case like this back in the 80's. There was a man who, two years after a breakup with his girlfriend, received a call on the phone from her informing him that he was father to her child. The man got back together with the woman and raised the child as his own for seven years. Later, as DNA was coming into greater use, he had a paternity test done as confirmation of his biological relation to the child; only to discover that shockingly, he was not the boyÂ’s father. Furious, the man filed for divorce from the woman. However, being that the boy had looked upon the man as a father figure for so many years, the court ruled that in addition to alimony that the man also be required to pay child support on the boy.
If the scientific means are available to you to confirm whether this boy is your child or not, then pursue them before you pursue anything else. Trust me when I say you wonÂ’t regret it.
My father once told me about a case like this back in the 80's. There was a man who, two years after a breakup with his girlfriend, received a call on the phone from her informing him that he was father to her child. The man got back together with the woman and raised the child as his own for seven years. Later, as DNA was coming into greater use, he had a paternity test done as confirmation of his biological relation to the child; only to discover that shockingly, he was not the boyÂ’s father. Furious, the man filed for divorce from the woman. However, being that the boy had looked upon the man as a father figure for so many years, the court ruled that in addition to alimony that the man also be required to pay child support on the boy.
If the scientific means are available to you to confirm whether this boy is your child or not, then pursue them before you pursue anything else. Trust me when I say you wonÂ’t regret it.
boutrosinit
Street Fighter IV World Champion
Waychel said:
Most intelligent reply here. Good luck mate. Sounds like a trial and a half.
I think the important thing here is not to jump to conclusions. Yeah, I think it's a bit fishy how a chance encounter led to all this... but none of us really know the specifics of it. In extreme circumstances (and I'd class an unexpected pregnancy as one) anything could happen. But at the end of the day: What happened happened. You can't change the last four years, and neither can she. All you can do is make sure both of you do the right thing here.
And though again I think the situation is a little suspicious, the bottom line is there is a distinct possibility that it is your son. And if so, you don't want to screw things up with her (whether you get together with her again or not, for the kid's sake you don't want to be on bad terms you know?) by insisting she's a liar and it's not your kid etc. Play it cool. Spin it another way -- say it hasn't quite hit you yet or something and you just NEED to know or something. Not the best excuse, but better than accusing her of conning you.
Keep cool, get the test, and whichever way this goes I hope it works out for you and the kid.
And though again I think the situation is a little suspicious, the bottom line is there is a distinct possibility that it is your son. And if so, you don't want to screw things up with her (whether you get together with her again or not, for the kid's sake you don't want to be on bad terms you know?) by insisting she's a liar and it's not your kid etc. Play it cool. Spin it another way -- say it hasn't quite hit you yet or something and you just NEED to know or something. Not the best excuse, but better than accusing her of conning you.
Keep cool, get the test, and whichever way this goes I hope it works out for you and the kid.
norinrad21
Banned
LOL........she got your covered red.
Better get yourself a fulltime job and think about starting a family
Game over for you sir
Better get yourself a fulltime job and think about starting a family
Game over for you sir
I'd have to agree with getting a paternity test. It'll provide you with the clearest perspective. It's really a matter of you being or not being the father. If you aren't the father, great !! If you are you will have to accept the fact that you now have a child in your life.
My advice would be to come to terms with being a dad first (should that be the case). Right now, jumping back into a relationship with a girl you haven't seen in 4 years is probably not the best way to go about things. People change over time, and i'd say 4 years and a kid can change a person quite a bit. The girl is going to be in your life no matter what now and having a kid does not directly translate into a required relationship beyond friendship. Like i said, come to terms with being a dad first and nothing else. You've got a lot to wrap your head around as it is.
Best of luck and let us know how it goes.
My advice would be to come to terms with being a dad first (should that be the case). Right now, jumping back into a relationship with a girl you haven't seen in 4 years is probably not the best way to go about things. People change over time, and i'd say 4 years and a kid can change a person quite a bit. The girl is going to be in your life no matter what now and having a kid does not directly translate into a required relationship beyond friendship. Like i said, come to terms with being a dad first and nothing else. You've got a lot to wrap your head around as it is.
Best of luck and let us know how it goes.
Ignatz Mouse
Banned
I'm highly suspicious of the post at all. C'mon, how convenient to have a thread like this right before Valentine's day. Maybe it's real, but it certainly sounds contrived to me.
robertsan21
Member
HOLY SHIT this is some hard hitting info your getting on a valentines day. man i feel for you i really do.
but if he is yours i hope you take care of him in the best way possible and i am sure you will be a great dad
good luck
but if he is yours i hope you take care of him in the best way possible and i am sure you will be a great dad
good luck
I wouldn't say to threaten her with a law suit if she refuses to get the blood test. I think at the moment, she is very fragile, and any questions on her and the baby would just make her mad or depressed. My suggestion is to just grab a little piece of the boy's hair and get the lab done by yourself. If the child is yours, you better help her out as much as possible. If the child is not yours... well... then I guess you can tell her stop tricking you.
D
Deleted member 4784
Unconfirmed Member
OMG NETMAPEL!!!
This is kenage!! =D From Hotarubi! Do you remember me?!
This is kenage!! =D From Hotarubi! Do you remember me?!
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