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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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Well that's my point dude. You just met her and now you're moving in together and marrying? Why not wait...like several years?
That's all well and fine for other people who think they need that time. It's not a rule, it's a recommendation (and well thought out, as well). However, both her and I don't really need to take all that time to realize how happy we can be together, and how it will last for a long, long time. To each their own.
I'd also like to point out that "just met her" being about three months ago almost. If you had said this after only a week or two of meeting her, I'd agree that I was going overboard. As it is, we're not even going to be living together until the end of May. That's nearly half a year of being together.
PlayALLtheGames
Banned
I honestly don't believe you can know someone is "the one" after several months. Well, perhaps after several months of spending a lot of time together, physically - not just talking on the phone and seeing each other a couple of times like Ashodin.
Of course, I hope it works out.
Of course, I hope it works out.
I admit that it is hard to imagine it outside of the situation itself. Just like anything in this life though, it happens randomly, and wonderfully.
Every single day I wake up feeling like the luckiest man alive. Every single day.
Plenty of people feel like that at the start. When the euphoria wears off and it's not a new, fresh adventure, when you see her true self warts and all and not the image she wants you to see. Will you still feel that way? Will you really want to wake up next to this person in 30 and 40 years time? Every single day, every night, right there. That's impossible to tell in such a short time. It's like judging a movie after watching 5 minutes. At LEAST make it a long engagement, like a year then you have time to bail without dragging yourself through a pile of shit to do it.
WascallyWabbit
Member
I believe zlatko has found someone special and was about to go and meet her family soon, though I could be totally misremembering
The engagement will be a little long, yeah. I told her, it all depends on how she feels when we live together when she wants to tie the knot.
Fiftyeight
Neo Member
He mentioned it a couple posts ago, he's 28.
Ihope it works out for you Ashodin, just know that feelings can change.I know you might not believe that right now, or they might never change for you, but they may for her.feelings can change.
This is exactly what I was thinking. It's great to like her and think she's "the one" and all, but that initial "oh my god this is so freaking perfect" feeling WILL wear off.
Best of luck though.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Been there. Worse thing is that it's a slow, gradual thing that builds up and will come right outta nowhere and smack you in the face. No one should be put on a pedestal of perfection.
Not that it necessarily happens the that way in all relationships, nor does this statement apply to Ash's situation
Red_taiyaki
Member
Yah, and that's what worries me too a little bit about what Ashodin is doing. Granted, it's like he said. He didn't exactly set a wedding date or anything. It's just an engagement and so I'll pray for his success and happiness.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Lol dating-gaf is all about tough love, and to be honest, a lot of times that's better. Still though, I prefer it here.
I just feel like every advice in Dating-GAF comes down to "man up", which is very generic and not always helpful. Yes, sometimes a tough "man up" helps, but oftentimes people are looking for something more sensible, specific to their situation.
I've noticed that girls don't read profiles that much. I always get asked questions that are answered in my profile. So I guess it's all about pictures and good message. In my experience anyway. POF is kinda creepy man, so many teenagers wanna "meet" me it seems. I've got 1 good convo going on POF, about 4 on OKC, 1 text. But really, I'm not even sure which ones I'm legit interested in.
edit. oh shiet. I posted a few days ago about one particular girl that I really liked on OKC but she'd been busy with school. So I messaged her today, it's been 2 weeks since our last, and we picked up right where we left off, I thought she found another dude or something. I'm most definitely breaking the cardinal rules of online dating with this one. Putting all my eggs in one basket, and putting the pussy on the pedestal. Must meet this one or I'll regret it FOREVER. ok not really, but I'd like to meet her.
edit. oh shiet. I posted a few days ago about one particular girl that I really liked on OKC but she'd been busy with school. So I messaged her today, it's been 2 weeks since our last, and we picked up right where we left off, I thought she found another dude or something. I'm most definitely breaking the cardinal rules of online dating with this one. Putting all my eggs in one basket, and putting the pussy on the pedestal. Must meet this one or I'll regret it FOREVER. ok not really, but I'd like to meet her.
That's exactly what we're going for when we'll be living together - a slow engagement burn as we truly get to understand how living together will be.
donkey show
Member
No doubt, and the fact that she wants to chill tomorrow on top of her sending pics and all that so there's a good thing going on.
Completely off-topic but I've noticed you always have your mustache shaven in your pics. Why's that?
JimtotheHum
Member
I think it's a little cathartic to go on here and talk about my experiences on OK Cupid- so here it goes. I'm coming off three brutal ones that I posted on here awhile back. Here's two new ones-
First girl, we try to meet up twice, both got cancelled (first me and then her cancelling). She did reiterate afterwards on the phone, that she really did want to meet up. Text her the next day about rescheduling, and I never hear from her again. (Did try messaging her again on the site a few days later- nothing)
Second girl was just on Wed. Met at one bar, it was completely packed so we found a smaller bar around the corner. Sat, drank beers, and talked for about three hours. Had a great time (I thought). The next afternoon I texted her and told her I had a great time and would like to hang out again sometime. Still haven't heard back from her.
My problem with the site isn't not getting messages or dates, it's the fact that I can't, for the life of me, get a second date. I feel like I am doing something wrong. I always think the dates go really well, and then I never get a second one. There is a disconnect there that is really starting to bother me.
First girl, we try to meet up twice, both got cancelled (first me and then her cancelling). She did reiterate afterwards on the phone, that she really did want to meet up. Text her the next day about rescheduling, and I never hear from her again. (Did try messaging her again on the site a few days later- nothing)
Second girl was just on Wed. Met at one bar, it was completely packed so we found a smaller bar around the corner. Sat, drank beers, and talked for about three hours. Had a great time (I thought). The next afternoon I texted her and told her I had a great time and would like to hang out again sometime. Still haven't heard back from her.
My problem with the site isn't not getting messages or dates, it's the fact that I can't, for the life of me, get a second date. I feel like I am doing something wrong. I always think the dates go really well, and then I never get a second one. There is a disconnect there that is really starting to bother me.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Sorry to hear that man, but it sounds to me like you're going down the path of "what's wrong with me... I need to do better... etc. etc."
I used to have a similar problem where for every first date, I would say to myself in my head "am I good enough for her?" And that's terrible, because it informs your whole vibe. Next time you're on a date run this question through your mind, "is she good enough for me?" This will change your whole attitude and you'll be more relaxed and you'll end up having a better time. And so will she.
A girl doesn't need a guy to constantly impress her.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Whoa! It's the Ashodin! He's back!
Anyways, congratulations! I met my ex-girlfriend on a messageboard and we talked back and forth for maybe two months and she moved down here to live with me, without even meeting me in person first. I know, it's crazy but it happened. In fact, it was my first relationship and probably my first real girlfriend. It was a very rocky start (long story!) and then eventually it smoothed after a couple of months - she came to live with me in August of 2007 and it wasn't until the end of October when it smoothed out. Anyways, from that point things went fairly well until around the end of 2008 and 2009 turned into a disaster until we broke up around May of 2009. I actually blame myself for a good deal of it.
Just be careful and don't mess up like I did. Nobody wants to see your heart broken. It's horrendous. Looks like you got yourself a real cutie and a real keeper there so best of luck to you, man.
Anyways, congratulations! I met my ex-girlfriend on a messageboard and we talked back and forth for maybe two months and she moved down here to live with me, without even meeting me in person first. I know, it's crazy but it happened. In fact, it was my first relationship and probably my first real girlfriend. It was a very rocky start (long story!) and then eventually it smoothed after a couple of months - she came to live with me in August of 2007 and it wasn't until the end of October when it smoothed out. Anyways, from that point things went fairly well until around the end of 2008 and 2009 turned into a disaster until we broke up around May of 2009. I actually blame myself for a good deal of it.
Just be careful and don't mess up like I did. Nobody wants to see your heart broken. It's horrendous. Looks like you got yourself a real cutie and a real keeper there so best of luck to you, man.
doesn't grown in well, looks like public hair. btw, you stalking me bro? checkin out all my pics. that's cool
edit.
girl with incredibly boring profile sends an incredibly boring message, so I try.
in her profile it says she's not into "playing games" lol
Had an epiphany earlier today and realized how easy it is to find someone you like on here. Here's the hack: go to quickmatch and start clicking away. Just give everyone 5 stars. Everyone. Don't even look at the profile. Just click as fast as you can. Click for 5 minutes or until your finger is tired. You will, almost assuredly, find someone you like who also like your profiles. Most likely several people. Enjoy.
JimtotheHum
Member
Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it. I will definitely keep it in mind.
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
You flawlessly pulled off the Reverse Troll. A move that very few vets of the internet can accomplish, or have.
polyh3dron
Banned
doesn't grown in well, looks like public hair. btw, you stalking me bro? checkin out all my pics. that's cool
edit.
girl with incredibly boring profile sends an incredibly boring message, so I try.
in her profile it says she's not into "playing games" lol
lol maybe she actually meant the kind of games you were referring to.
How old are you, if I'm allowed to ask?
The circle of life baby
28 good sir. Life is good.
I joined around this time in february but was hesitant to send out messages, only responding to girls who messaged me as I got used to the site/online dating world.
So the first girl I was going to meet had to cancel the morning before we met, we continued messaging for a bit but then she just stopped responding, kind of annoying as she had approached me and was hot but oh well.
Took a week break and then decided I would try messaging some girls first about 4 days ago and it looks like I will now be meeting this cute girl, just need to sort out the logistics of timings - which is something that took forever to do with the girl above, hopefully it isn't as drawn out as then.
So the first girl I was going to meet had to cancel the morning before we met, we continued messaging for a bit but then she just stopped responding, kind of annoying as she had approached me and was hot but oh well.
Took a week break and then decided I would try messaging some girls first about 4 days ago and it looks like I will now be meeting this cute girl, just need to sort out the logistics of timings - which is something that took forever to do with the girl above, hopefully it isn't as drawn out as then.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Hopefully you've been taking the advice on here and moving the convo to text messages. Don't worry about flakiness, that's just the reality of online dating
samus i am
Member
Yeah, it's free.
Red_taiyaki
Member
I also find it better than Match and eHarmony. That's just me though.
Can someone help me with my profile? I'm new to online dating.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Teh_Necromancer/
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Teh_Necromancer/
doesn't grown in well, looks like public hair. btw, you stalking me bro? checkin out all my pics. that's cool
edit.
girl with incredibly boring profile sends an incredibly boring message, so I try.
in her profile it says she's not into "playing games" lol
I wouldn't have done a follow up msg personally.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Take out the part about working at a pizza joint (not that there's anything wrong with that) keep the navy thing.
Is there a reason you're only looking for New Friends?
donkey show
Member
I'll let it play out and see what happens. I got out of a looooong relationship awhile ago, so I'm not gonna go too crazy out the gate. On that note, I was stupidly drunk texting her last night at my house party with some friends and it was kinda to my benefit since she wants to chill later on tonight or tomorrow. xD
Red_taiyaki
Member
Try your best not to portray yourself as a negative person. Good luck!
doesn't grown in well, looks like public hair. btw, you stalking me bro? checkin out all my pics. that's cool
edit.
girl with incredibly boring profile sends an incredibly boring message, so I try.
in her profile it says she's not into "playing games" lol
i literally cringed. jesus christ.
Don't bring your shitty day to the date. Will totally destroy it.
So... I have a date tomorrow for Tea. Good lord. Let me know how it goes vatstep, for tomorrow I'll be you.
EDIT: I have to say, the whole process went so smooth though. Numbers exchanged on the 3rd/4th message, texted back and forth for the day, asked out in the evening of that day (yesterday), date for Sunday. Figured might as well meet up IRL so we both know if it's worth it.
EDIT: I have to say, the whole process went so smooth though. Numbers exchanged on the 3rd/4th message, texted back and forth for the day, asked out in the evening of that day (yesterday), date for Sunday. Figured might as well meet up IRL so we both know if it's worth it.
In regards to your edit, you did right. That's exactly how it should always go and your goal is always to drive it that way.
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