I just can't believe how smooth it went. I don't think I could've ever pulled that off IRL. I just hope it goes decently. I'm more concerned about the "date" itself than about anything with the girl, weirdly. Just need to get (back) into it. Thinking about it, I've really only been on two first dates my entire life, and those were 3 years back, as mentioned. Feels weird.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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I just can't believe how smooth it went. I don't think I could've ever pulled that off IRL. I just hope it goes decently. I'm more concerned about the "date" itself than about anything with the girl, weirdly. Just need to get (back) into it. Thinking about it, I've really only been on two first dates my entire life, and those were 3 years back, as mentioned. Feels weird.
Always a good experience to drop in running. You got her to the date so you must know what you're doing in some capacity. You'll knock it out my man.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Welcome to the wonderful world of online dating! Don't let the door hit your ass on the way in.
But ya, before I started getting somewhat serious about online dating last August, I had only been on two dates in five years. Since then, I've gone out with four different girls with a fifth coming up next week...tentatively. Also took a nice month and a half break during November/December, so I average about one new person a month.......which is good enough for me considering I don't like to spend my entire day on OKC and only message like 3 or 4 new girls every two weeks.
Good luck, brosuke!
Yea, I'm in 'not give a fuck' mode, so just trying to have some fun with it. I've never replied to a message like that before. No matter the dumb things I say, she keeps responding so..lol
Red_taiyaki
Member
I kinda know what that's like. Has she sent you any messages longer than five words?
n64coder
Member
Maybe you should just give her a 1-2 word answer? I hate people who write like that so I would give it right back to them.
@Ashodin, congrats on your engagement. Hope it works out for you. I think sometimes you can know in the first couple of months if the person is right for you.
Yeah the last girl I was talking to was like that... She'd reply to anything but in a very brief form. It was pretty wtf. At first I thought I might as well entertain the notion and keep messaging back and forth. But honestly after like 20 msgs I finally tried to see if she'd take the conversation off the site and see if she's better on the phone or something. Nope, just ignored it, so I just stopped replying to her.
Red_taiyaki:you're an inspiration considering you're part of geek figure gaf! Keep it up with everything.
Question: I am under the assumption that one additional message after a non-response is alright, if you wait like 1/2 weeks (maybe they forgot, were busy, whatnot). If that's the case, what do you usually write?
I can think of several scenarios... But not sure which one's best. Should you ignore the non-response completely and just "add" more stuff? Or teasingly point out the non-response in some way?
I can think of several scenarios... But not sure which one's best. Should you ignore the non-response completely and just "add" more stuff? Or teasingly point out the non-response in some way?
The amount of girls stating in their questions that they'd "strongly prefer to date someone of their own racial/ethnic background" is making me think that this is a terribly disproportionate amount of effort for a very small amount of payoff.
Anyone able to convince me otherwise?
Edit: also,
I'm totally going to try this now. Could be fun since I'm basically in "IDGAF" mode right now.
Anyone able to convince me otherwise?
Edit: also,
I'm totally going to try this now. Could be fun since I'm basically in "IDGAF" mode right now.
Mystic Theurge
Member
Nah. If I see anyone say yes to the question, I don't message them regardless of anything else.
Same. There's a couple of these dealbreaker questions. For me those are children/homophobic/really stupid (e.g. sun/earth question)/etc
Captain Pants
Killed by a goddamned Dredgeling
She is bringing pizza over tonight and we are watching movies and drinking beer. I could get used to this.
Yeah I'd do this sometimes and it sparks further conversation. But I give it a 3 strike rule, because honestly if they're not putting in any effort after a certain point, it's not worth your time.
I just wonder WHAT to write
I have decided for myself that I'll write a message after 1/2 weeks of non-response, but that's it. If then there's still nothing, I'm out. I just don't know what I'm supposed to write so as not to sound too clingy/desparate. "WHY ARE YOU NOT RESPONDING" is what those messages easily can boil down to, which isn't very attractive.
The Sun question and the Astrology question, as well as the race marriage/dating questions are instant deal breakers for me.
Is there a way to sort by answers to some questions? It'd save me a lot of trouble if there was.
2nd meeting right? Nice.
I put them as "mandatory", and then when you go to the question comparison page, click on "things I care about" and those questions will show up at the very top.
grap3fruitman
Banned
Well my clever follow-up of "It seems I've run out of things to say. Any ideas?" didn't go over well 'cause I haven't heard back.
I already tried that and she already shot me down but still wanted to talk.
eh what? time to move on.
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got my first number on POF, unsolicited too. She's hardcore into anime, dresses up and stuff. She seems cool so far.
I'm still not sure what to do about boring girl. Maybe I'll take a GAF request. Where should I steer the conversation, nothing too creepy though
WascallyWabbit
Member
That's the problem. You should have cut it off right then and there, or at least made it clear that you weren't ok with just talking and wanted to meet up down the road sooner rather than later.
Captain Pants
Killed by a goddamned Dredgeling
Yup! We had dinner Thursday night.
I just wonder WHAT to write
I just don't know what I'm supposed to write so as not to sound too clingy/desparate. "WHY ARE YOU NOT RESPONDING" is what those messages easily can boil down to, which isn't very attractive.
Haha yeah whatever you do just don't lose your cool on that. Anyway, What I tend to do is just trying to follow up with different questions that relate to them /their profile. And if they don't bite, then it's time to move on.
grap3fruitman
Banned
What, why? If she's not comfortable meeting a complete stranger so soon then I'm not going to push it and risk it never happening at all. She's really cute, is into some of the same things as me and, for some strange reason, she actually messaged me back unlike 99.99% of the women on there so she must be somewhat interested, right?
Speak of the devil, she just responded: "Nope."
Yeah, I'm fucked.
I mean, if you're OK with being in the friendzone, keep on talking to her.
ElectricBlue187
Member
Don't waste your time. Life is too short for that nonsense.
I know those feels bro.
EDIT: How do you respond to,"Uh haha hey lol".
..... I can't think of anything clever that won't make the convo boring, and plan on going for the kill and asking her out.
I feel like many times we lose girls cause we don't ask out soon enough cause we're afraid she'll bail the convo.
At this point I'd be more content if she bails the convo after I ask her out, instead of me never getting the chance.
Aggrotek
Member
On another note. I sent a message to a girl today and her response was: "Hello. What's your favorite pokemon and why?"
On another note. I sent a message to a girl today and her response was: "Hello. What's your favorite pokemon and why?"
That's a pretty awesome counter-question.
On another note, just got the "hot" e-mail after exactly 2 weeks too. I remember reading that after 2 weeks, it checks if you're in the "top 50%" or sth, so I guess that'd make sense, since i's been exactly 2 weeks since I signed up.
grap3fruitman
Banned
So go back to being ignored by all women, online and off? =\
He's just saying to bail out with that girl. Not to quit the site altogether.
as opposed to talking to someone who has no interest in you more than a friend? like I said if you're OK with being friends with her, go for it. but if you want more, move on.
On another note. I sent a message to a girl today and her response was: "Hello. What's your favorite pokemon and why?"
So what is your favorite pokemon, I'm curious lol
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Eeeeeeeeee. Why would you write that?
canoli2006
Member
Cow Mengde
Banned
A proper link to your profile might help.
canoli2006
Member
grap3fruitman
Banned
If I was good at talking to women then I wouldn't have had to turn to online dating sites in the first place.
First girl to respond to a message in 2.5 years... Just saying.
I haven't. A woman would have to agree to go out with me before she could stand me up.
Aggrotek
Member
Probably Larvitar. :3
WascallyWabbit
Member
Sorry to hear that man, but we've all been there. You gotta move on and keep your chin up
Aggrotek
Member
Oh I am. Just really sucks. I don't get many replies and when I do they just up and stop replying after 2 or 3 messages. Hopefully Pokemon girl keeps talking to me.
What are you gonna do on a meetup then? You need to get good with talking before anything really.
Doesn't mean you have to drop everything but try things IRL too so you are prepared once a girl from online wants to meet up.
Yeah he's cool, my own favorite is Umbreon:
don't even know what that is. only played the originals, red/blue/green. I loved the water dragon one, gyro something. the ghosts ones were pretty cool too. and me and sandshrew were bros
grap3fruitman
Banned
Not a concern at this point.
vatstep
This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
Well, for my first date in years (after a very, very lengthy relationship), it was pretty great. I did NOT bring my negativity along with me as clueless as I am about dating after being out of the game for so long, I know that's like the #1 no-no for a first impression. I was just trying to get the bad vibes out when I posted that.
Anyway, I was expecting to just hang out with her for a bit, but we actually spent all day together. I'm not sure if I see her as "relationship" material, but that's fine since she's pretty cool in general and I'm always looking for new friends anyway. If anything, I'm glad to have that first date in forever over with. It went well, I have a bit more confidence, and it's just more experience under the belt.
Good luck tomorrow Smiley!
That pretty much sounds like how I hope tomorrow goes. I'm hoping I can copypaste that tomorrow. Do you mind me asking how old you are/how long your relationship was/how recently ago it ended? You can just PM me too if you don't want to disclose it here. I'm just curious how similar our situations are.
Captain Pants
Killed by a goddamned Dredgeling
We ate pizza, drank beer and watched High Fidelity and Brad Neely's Wizard People. Truly a great night. I think it is going to work out well. Both of us are absorbed in our jobs, and I think we see each other as an outlet for what would otherwise be a career focused shit existence. She didn't stop laughing through Wizard People, so that tells me something.
Dude, I'm totally happy for you man. Don't just settle for an outlet, think about if you really want her to be relationship material. Can you see lots more dates happening, and a real awesome relationship forming?
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