it might just be me automatically jumping to the negative conclusion but it started off well enough I guess. Told her I saw her profile and thought it sounded interesting and cool and asked about her art. She responded talking about her style a bit and gave me a link to her deviant art page and I told her that I don't have much on my deviant art account (either) and that I liked some of her stuff. Then I decided to say this, "I see you like playing video games, I don't suppose you have a steam account?" and I think that's where I went stupid.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
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it might just be me automatically jumping to the negative conclusion but it started off well enough I guess. Told her I saw her profile and thought it sounded interesting and cool and asked about her art. She responded talking about her style a bit and gave me a link to her deviant art page and I told her that I don't have much on my deviant art account (either) and that I liked some of her stuff. Then I decided to say this, "I see you like playing video games, I don't suppose you have a steam account?" and I think that's where I went stupid.
Red_taiyaki
Member
I don't see anything inherently wrong with your message. Need more details, how long have you been waiting for a response?
peteykirch
Member
There's this one girl who I'm hitting it off with at the moment, only downside is that she seems to be super busy, and her replies are infrequent, but when she does message me, you can tell there's a lot of effort and thought behind it.
the more I look at it the more random and robotic it looks to me. Anywho, I sent that response about two days ago I think
edit: but idk, like I think I said in my other post, I'm completely new to this kind of thing
Red_taiyaki
Member
Some girls take a couple of days to respond so just stay cool. Calm down, breathe, etc. Always make sure you're messaging different amounts of people; even after you meet an online date from OKC. Girls are like cats, coming and going as they please.
Out of curiosity, what's the length of your typical message?
about like 2-3 sentences save for one message.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Good length. That's the general length I tend to stick with. Also, people doing online dating tend to disappear without rhyme or reason and may stop responding at any time. I'm guilty of this myself tbh >>...
And you didn't even bother to send a goodbye message to me on OKC. What a jerk ;A;...
Haha, I wish I would have said goodbye to the girl I was talking to. We didn't talk much, but she was gorgeous and seemed cool, I was just skeptical that she was real, lol.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Generally speaking, I like to approach online dating with the mentality that I'm talking to a 500 pound man on the other side until they prove to me otherwise. It's a lot more fun that way :3.
Anyways, good luck with your HS friend. Hope it works out!
I don't think I could go on dates with multiple people at the same time, I'm not made for that. I'd get emotionally confused and I wanna give everyone a fair chance by having my undivided attention :lol.
I'm the opposite of a PUA and I see no shame in that
Red_taiyaki
Member
I don't think I could go on dates with multiple people at the same time, I'm not made for that. I'd get emotionally confused and I wanna give everyone a fair chance by having my undivided attention :lol.
I'm the opposite of a PUA and I see no shame in that
I am too tbph, but I've had to learn the ways of the force in order to adapt and compete in the market. Not to say that that approach doesn't work, but it's just a bit easier this way. Ya, it might not be the greatest approach....but I like to think of it like I'm applying for a job. >>
Isn't that the wrong attitude though? I don't like the thought of dating being "tryouts/interviews", that de-values myself... I prefer to think of it as every girl gets a fair chance and I will try and make it work with every girl, until either of us realizes it can't/won't work. Whenever that point is
WascallyWabbit
Member
Isn't that the wrong attitude though? I don't like the thought of dating being "tryouts/interviews", that de-values myself... I prefer to think of it as every girl gets a fair chance and I will try and make it work with every girl, until either of us realizes it can't/won't work. Whenever that point is
I think if you limit yourself to dating only one girl at a time, you might fall in the trap of getting too emotionally invested in one girl too soon. Also, it's a good boost to your confidence and your vibe if you've got multiple things going on. And confidence is a very attractive quality.
Mystic Theurge
Member
I'm talking to a couple of guys at the moment -- texting with them. Things seem to be going well. Though I can't help but feel like I'm screw something up soon.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Those 2 things are definitely true. I can't help myself though.
That's fine. If it's not who you are, then don't force it. But have you tried it?
Naw, never even tried. I haven't gone on that many first dates to begin with, but I don't know if I could do it, even if I tried. Might be worth trying it once to see how it feels, but I can only imagine it being awkward :lol. What if I end up liking both of them? Can't just be like "yeah I like this other girl I'm seeing more, but how about we try if it doesn't work out?"
Red_taiyaki
Member
Naw, never even tried. I haven't gone on that many first dates to begin with, but I don't know if I could do it, even if I tried. Might be worth trying it once to see how it feels, but I can only imagine it being awkward :lol. What if I end up liking both of them? Can't just be like "yeah I like this other girl I'm seeing more, but how about we try if it doesn't work out?"
Then there will come a point when you're going to have to make a decision and break someone's heart. Dating multiple people at the same time IMO lets you find out what you're really looking for in a relationship and not just settling. Remember dating is about you. Sorry if that sounds selfish, but it's the truth. Do what's best for you. Whether you think that's dating one person at a time or a few.
Given that I don't spend my entire day huting for dates, I've only averaged about one new date a month with a new girl from OKC. But I'm confident knowing that if this didnt work out There's another date right around the corner...
mhmmmm you're onto something here. Food for thought.
Captain Pants
Killed by a goddamned Dredgeling
So, as has been documented in this thread, I've been on two dates with a girl I met on OkCupid. I feel like an asshole and a cheater for messaging someone else tonight. I kinda like the girl I've been seeing, but part of me isn't sure if I'm actually attracted to her. I don't know if I'm looking for an absolution of guilt or what. The girl I messaged tonight is the first OKC girl I've sought out. Everything so far has been people messaging me. I'm not a pig or a player and I don't know how to deal with the fact that I've been on two dates with someone and am not really feeling it.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you are not attached, you are single, you're not a boyfriend, you are not exclusive. Don't be like that.
Maddocks
Member
it's two dates, not a full blown relationship. If your not feeling it, then bail. Better then dragging it out and hoping something comes from it.
bail now while early. Not cheating as she is not your girlfriend.
WascallyWabbit
Member
No way in hell that this is considered cheating
He's not saying it IS cheating, I'm pretty sure he's fully aware it's not. He's just saying it FEELS like it. Pretty much the same thing I mentioned before with seeing 2 girls at the same time, with a little bit extra "becoming too emotionally invested too soon" on top.
Texting with 3 girls at the moment, it looks like I'll be meeting 2 of them this weekend, Friday and Saturday night. 2 of them seem to be really into me, they want to talk all the time and I'm trying my best to keep it short and casual. I actually got a 4th number but after I got it, I realized I wasn't really feeling the girl all that much, and 4 is too much to handle honestly. I feel weird that I got her number and stopped talking to her after that lol.
The 3 are all very different too. 1 is hardcore anime nerd, 2 is the religous type [she censored the word God and went to a bible documentary thing the other night], the 3rd looks to be the most 'well rounded' of the bunch, likes football, drinking, firefly. It's gonna be an interesting weekend.
I haven't been on an OKC date in months, I see a lot of people in here having success recently, hopefully that bodes well for me. There's also the girl at work I may or may not like, wish I could actually get to talk to her some more.
The 3 are all very different too. 1 is hardcore anime nerd, 2 is the religous type [she censored the word God and went to a bible documentary thing the other night], the 3rd looks to be the most 'well rounded' of the bunch, likes football, drinking, firefly
. It's gonna be an interesting weekend.I haven't been on an OKC date in months, I see a lot of people in here having success recently, hopefully that bodes well for me. There's also the girl at work I may or may not like, wish I could actually get to talk to her some more.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Anybody on here who feels bad about seeing or messaging multiple girls should realize that's it's very likely that she is dating other men. This especially applies to girls on okcupid. Isn't the whole point of being on a dating website to meet new people?
Y'all need to learn from dralla and just go out there and have fun. And for each girl you're with just try to make sure you make them happy in the limited time you have with her.
Y'all need to learn from dralla and just go out there and have fun. And for each girl you're with just try to make sure you make them happy in the limited time you have with her.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Just for numbers sake, I'm going to reveal that the last girl I dated revealed to me that she met 11 guys in the span of two weeks and she was listed as "replies very selectively."
Just some food for thought. As they say, all is fair in love and war.
Texting with 3 girls at the moment, it looks like I'll be meeting 2 of them this weekend, Friday and Saturday night. 2 of them seem to be really into me, they want to talk all the time and I'm trying my best to keep it short and casual. I actually got a 4th number but after I got it, I realized I wasn't really feeling the girl all that much, and 4 is too much to handle honestly. I feel weird that I got her number and stopped talking to her after that lol.
The 3 are all very different too. 1 is hardcore anime nerd, 2 is the religous type [she censored the word God and went to a bible documentary thing the other night], the 3rd looks to be the most 'well rounded' of the bunch, likes football, drinking, firefly
I haven't been on an OKC date in months, I see a lot of people in here having success recently, hopefully that bodes well for me. There's also the girl at work I may or may not like, wish I could actually get to talk to her some more.
Props for keeping your mind and options open brah
I am not feeling this whole internetdating yet. Mainly because I haven't had a date yet. And I get so few reply's
On this other dating site I got a message that this girl likes me. So I sended her a message. But she replied that she wasn't interessted in me. Or things like''your not my type'' how can they know if I never even met them yet?
On this other dating site I got a message that this girl likes me. So I sended her a message. But she replied that she wasn't interessted in me. Or things like''your not my type'' how can they know if I never even met them yet?
donkey show
Member
I am not feeling this whole internetdating yet. Mainly because I haven't had a date yet. And I get so few reply's
On this other dating site I got a message that this girl likes me. So I sended her a message. But she replied that she wasn't interessted in me. Or things like''your not my type'' how can they know if I never even met them yet?
Haha, at least you got that courtesy. Most of the time you don't even get a reply mentioning anything like that. xD
Red_taiyaki
Member
This x1000.
I am not feeling this whole internetdating yet. Mainly because I haven't had a date yet. And I get so few reply's
On this other dating site I got a message that this girl likes me. So I sended her a message. But she replied that she wasn't interessted in me. Or things like''your not my type'' how can they know if I never even met them yet?
You can't really. That's why you need to make yourself seem interesting in some way and have some good pictures up.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Just to add to what dralla just said. It may sound cliche, but you need to focus on your strengths and make yourself standout from the rest of the crowd to succeed and get messages back. Trust me, I've learned from doing this over the past two years....nowadays, I'm usually conversing with up to three or four girls at a time. Before, nothing.
Red_taiyaki
Member
I give it either 30 miles around where I love or 30 miles around where I work.
Cow Mengde
Banned
That reminds me, I gotta get some better pictures of myself up. I wonder if you guys would be willing to give me some opinions on how I look in the pics. It's better to hear it from strangers than friends/family since they see you/know you.
donkey show
Member
No prob man. Just let us know when you put them up!
Btw, anybody want some ratings? :O
I used to be all "close to me" but then I met my fiancée over three states away, soooo...
donkey show
Member
Just put /Ykrill after profile on the url. BTW, we have issues apparently, lol.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Hehe yeah. You mean the 36% enemy right? I had this girl who I was 99% enemy with lol and I visited her profile and she visited me back. Btw is that you or someone else from here that rated me highly? How can I see who that is without being an A-list user?
donkey show
Member
It was me! The only way to know is that if you rate me high as well, we'd get a nice little message saying we chose each other.
I personally think it's more fun messaging peeps with higher enemy ratings.velvet_nitemare
Member
Could use a few ratings
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/tonaritotoro
Edit: I'm on break at work, woll rate back when i get home
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/tonaritotoro
Edit: I'm on break at work, woll rate back when i get home
WascallyWabbit
Member
ykrill
You should remove this part:
"This is so hard haha. I think I would say if I like something I am commited to it a lot. But that sounds a bit cliche right?"
and
"I love a lot of things I guess."
It just seems like you're unsure of yourself in the profile.
Also in the "spend time thinking about section" there's this:
"Live in general." I assume you mean Life in general. Give your profile another go over, if there's one spelling error, there's probably more
You should remove this part:
"This is so hard haha. I think I would say if I like something I am commited to it a lot. But that sounds a bit cliche right?"
and
"I love a lot of things I guess."
It just seems like you're unsure of yourself in the profile.
Also in the "spend time thinking about section" there's this:
"Live in general." I assume you mean Life in general. Give your profile another go over, if there's one spelling error, there's probably more
Red_taiyaki
Member
Rated you.
Interesting username. "Next door, Totoro?"
I would remove/reword this part:
It makes you seem indecisive and not sure of what you want which may turn off some girls who might be interested in you.
If I were someone just trying to view your profile, I would be very intrigued by this. Perhaps you can try to cajole someone who's viewing your profile to message you by asking them a question? Something like, try to guess where I'm from or something along those lines (I'm assuming that were born overseas).
Good luck, bro!
Interesting username. "Next door, Totoro?"
I would remove/reword this part:
It makes you seem indecisive and not sure of what you want which may turn off some girls who might be interested in you.
If I were someone just trying to view your profile, I would be very intrigued by this. Perhaps you can try to cajole someone who's viewing your profile to message you by asking them a question? Something like, try to guess where I'm from or something along those lines (I'm assuming that were born overseas).
Good luck, bro!
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