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[vicissitudes]

Bad idea.

This question has been asked several times and there are two major issues with it:

1. What guys find funny is NOT what girls find funny. I've seen profiles that guys will think are hilarious (see: timedog's profile) but it doesn't translate as well to girls. Not to mention, it's more important to attract girls rather than entertain them. Many guys think that simply making a girl laugh means she's attracted to you and it's not true. They are separate things. There's a reason girls go for actors and rock stars over comedians and clowns.

2. More importantly, you have to think like a girl who's on a dating site. She sees tons of weird guys with no social skills and obscure hobbies/quirks. I've studied male profiles and the ones that do the best tend to be guys who come across as relatively normal. For a girl, the online dating world is a sea of weirdos and creepy men who come on way too strong. Thus, they want to play it as safely as possible and go for the guys who seem genuine, straight-laced, and dare I say, nice.

Now, I absolutely encourage that you experiment on OKC, so I would say try it out and see how you do, but keep your expectations in check.

 

[MilkBeard]

Bad idea.

This question has been asked several times and there are two major issues with it:

1. What guys find funny is NOT what girls find funny. I've seen profiles that guys will think are hilarious (see: timedog's profile) but it doesn't translate as well to girls. Not to mention, it's more important to attract girls rather than entertain them. Many guys think that simply making a girl laugh means she's attracted to you and it's not true. They are separate things. There's a reason girls go for actors and rock stars over comedians and clowns.

2. More importantly, you have to think like a girl who's on a dating site. She sees tons of weird guys with no social skills and obscure hobbies/quirks. I've studied male profiles and the ones that do the best tend to be guys who come across as relatively normal. For a girl, the online dating world is a sea of weirdos and creepy men who come on way too strong. Thus, they want to play it as safely as possible and go for the guys who seem genuine, straight-laced, and dare I say, nice.

Now, I absolutely encourage that you experiment on OKC, so I would say try it out and see how you do, but keep your expectations in check.

Pretty good advice there. There are a few of us who changed our profiles to be really ridiculous and silly after we got tired of the whole dating website thing, but it never works. It might be good for a laugh but it's probably not going to attract anyone.

Best bet is to be patient and keep trying.

 

[DoktorEvil]

Pretty good advice there. There are a few of us who changed our profiles to be really ridiculous and silly after we got tired of the whole dating website thing, but it never works. It might be good for a laugh but it's probably not going to attract anyone.

Best bet is to be patient and keep trying.

I'm losing patience with the whole messages by volume.

It sucks that even in the realm of online dating, most women will not even message back or be the first to message a guy.

 

[Jhoan]

I'm losing patience with the whole messages by volume.

It sucks that even in the realm of online dating, most women will not even message back or be the first to message a guy.

I totally feel everyone's frustration. I haven't been getting any replies either lately and have rated girls left and right. At best I've only gotten 1 new profile view this week.

As your main way of meeting women, it's only going to frustrate you to the point where you take it personal. As a supplementary way of meeting women, you won't care as much about getting results. This is why I've been recommending meetup.com as a way of meeting new people to many GAF members or going to events relevant to your interests. You can also have friends introduce to other people.

Granted, I've only been to two Social Anxiety meet ups and haven't gotten any dates out of it but I have met some new people and go with the intention of having fun. Plus it keeps me busy on what is otherwise a mundane Friday night for me.

 

[DoktorEvil]

I totally feel everyone's frustration. I haven't been getting any replies either lately and have rated girls left and right. At best I've only gotten 1 new profile view this week.

As your main way of meeting women, it's only going to frustrate you to the point where you take it personal. As a supplementary way of meeting women, you won't care as much about getting results. This is why I've been recommending meetup.com as a way of meeting new people to many GAF members or going to events relevant to your interests. You can also have friends introduce to other people.

Granted, I've only been to two Social Anxiety meet ups and haven't gotten any dates out of it but I have met some new people and go with the intention of having fun. Plus it keeps me busy on what is otherwise a mundane Friday night for me.

Social Anxiety meetups suck! I've been to a few as a +1, including Craft your Charisma or some shit.

It always feels like one huge sales pitch., plus it also feels like there's some cliques going on.

I need to get my ass out more. I miss the easy girls I got in college. That was convenient. The bar scene now just isn't for me, at least not alone.

 

[Jhoan]

Social Anxiety meetups suck! I've been to a few as a +1, including Craft your Charisma or some shit.

It always feels like one huge sales pitch., plus it also feels like there's some cliques going on.

I need to get my ass out more. I miss the easy girls I got in college. That was convenient. The bar scene now just isn't for me, at least not alone.

Really? I stay far away from the support group and workshop meet ups since I don't really need them; there's plenty of good books and articles out there that can teach you that stuff. Plus I've heard some bad things about them e.g. someone from NPR recorded a support group conversation.

Admittedly, last Friday I felt a bit ostracized when 2 pairs of groups had their own conversations while I lurked on GAF when we walked to Times Square which sucked. I agree that it does feel cliquish since people are always making insider jokes or references to past events. That I didn't really like.

However, I would argue that you're going to see that in every meet up that you go to including the GAF meet ups that I myself organize and in parties. It's up to you to make the most of it and throw your hat into the ring. By staying silent, it's not going to help you and it's saying something about you (good and bad). We (as in regulars) make references to previous meet ups, obviously know each other well enough to catch up like old friends, but have a good time retelling stories to newcomers. The difference is that I try to make it as inclusive as possible.

I'm in a similar situation of having a ton of free time but not going out or organizing my weeks. The reason why life post-college is different is because people lack one thing: structure. In a class a syllabus has every assignment outlined across the three months of the semester. In real life? "I have so much free time! What am I going to do today?"

As for not going to bars alone since it scares you, do it. I get it, you don't want to spend money. Totally understand since I'm in a similar rut. Go to a bar alone. It sounds like an excuse to be perfectly honest. What's the worst thing that can happen?

 

[MilkBeard]

I'm losing patience with the whole messages by volume.

It sucks that even in the realm of online dating, most women will not even message back or be the first to message a guy.

I feel you, I got tired of it super quick. Occasionally though, a girl will message you back long after you thought she'd lost interest.

Jipan has some good advice, to not focus on it as your main means to find a girl. I think it's also part of my problem as well, I take it too seriously.

 

[DoktorEvil]

I feel you, I got tired of it super quick. Occasionally though, a girl will message you back long after you thought she'd lost interest.

Jipan has some good advice, to not focus on it as your main means to find a girl. I think it's also part of my problem as well, I take it too seriously.

I take it too personal. I need to get back into the actual scene and use the online sites as a supplement.

I completely forgot how to flirt and keep conversation flowing in person without coming off dry or boring. With online dating, half the battle is keeping up with a keyboard, but it's easier to organize thoughts and sound snarky and witty.

In person, I'm so... Monotone and flat, even with a New York accent, that anything I try to initiate conversation about sounds boring and dull.

 

[jred2k]

Do you guys have any input on replies when the other person is online versus whne they aren't? I always seem to get replies when the other person is actually on, but if I leave a message for them to see it's really hit or miss. I'm wondering if the spontaneity of messaging someone when they are on gives them less time to consider not replying. I think it feels more like ignoring than simply not replying, too. If that makes any sense.

 

[Juke Joint Jezebel]

My sister's ventured into the world of online date searching. She's had a few dates with some pretty decent looking guys, a few she even had repeated dates with, but she's way too impatient and clingy it would seem. Constantly texting guys after only a day of not hearing back, and not just inquistive texts but outright rude stuff like "I take it you're not interested then", and other comments that just make her come off as a bitch. If she wasn't so desperate for constant attention and communication she could probably bag a half decent fella off of the site she's using, judging from the looks of her past dates I've seen here go out with.

If there's one thing I've learned from hanging out with my friends is that fellers generally don't seem to pine as much for attention as girls do, and like to take a break from their other half for a few days sometimes to do guy stuff/personal stuff. I wish more of my friends were considerate of that.

 

[Piecake]

I take it too personal. I need to get back into the actual scene and use the online sites as a supplement.

I completely forgot how to flirt and keep conversation flowing in person without coming off dry or boring. With online dating, half the battle is keeping up with a keyboard, but it's easier to organize thoughts and sound snarky and witty.

In person, I'm so... Monotone and flat, even with a New York accent, that anything I try to initiate conversation about sounds boring and dull.

I hear you. I am not a very articulate person and have trouble expressing my thoughts with words. I think the main cause of this for me is that I always did that with writing and am a generally quiet person so I really don't speak much. I honestly think I come off a bit slow in person sometimes because I can't formulate thoughts on the fly and then speak for a great deal of time about them with confidence.

I am convinced though that all of this can be improved with practice. So that is what I am doing now, working on strengthening the tongue, doing tongue twisters, reading out-loud and am strongly considering joining a toastmasters club so that I can get practice and feedback on public speaking. Hell, I am trying to become a teacher so all of this will be damn useful to me besides getting a girl.

I mean, the last date I felt went well since we talked for a little under 2 hours and I she was smiling and laughing (I was not all that funny), but I am a bit concerned about getting a second date because I know I was not all that articulate, did not have good body language, and struggled to get my point across on occasion. Plus, I sent her a message telling her to have a good trip and tell me when she gets back (she is going traveling for about a month). I never got a response. I am not sure what to make of that, but no matter what I'll try for a second date anyway since I definitely did dig the girl.

http://www.write-out-loud.com/quickeasyeffectivetipsforvocalvariety.html

Exercises for monotones

My sister's ventured into the world of online date searching. She's had a few dates with some pretty decent looking guys, a few she even had repeated dates with, but she's way too impatient and clingy it would seem. Constantly texting guys after only a day of not hearing back, and not just inquistive texts but outright rude stuff like "I take it you're not interested then", and other comments that just make her come off as a bitch. If she wasn't so desperate for constant attention and communication she could probably bag a half decent fella off of the site she's using, judging from the looks of her past dates I've seen here go out with.

If there's one thing I've learned from hanging out with my friends is that fellers generally don't seem to pine as much for attention as girls do, and like to take a break from their other half for a few days sometimes to do guy stuff/personal stuff. I wish more of my friends were considerate of that.

That would totally scare me off even if I was super interested in her. I mean, after the first date isnt the rule of thumb to at least wait a few days before contacting the person to not sound desperate, unstable, or crazy?

 

[Juke Joint Jezebel]

That would totally scare me off even if I was super interested in her. I mean, after the first date isnt the rule of thumb to at least wait a few days before contacting the person to not sound desperate, unstable, or crazy?

Pretty much what I always tell her, she never listens though. She spent 8 years of her life with a pretty shitty boyfriend so I feel like she thinks that now she's hit her 30's that it's a mad dash to attach herself to the nearest man possible, which is a total overreaction. She always asks me why I have better luck and I always tell her to give a fella breathing space. Don't cling on too much or come off as needy, and don't contact somebody every single day. But that seems to sift right through her brain when she gets a date.

 

[DoktorEvil]

Pretty much what I always tell her, she never listens though. She spent 8 years of her life with a pretty shitty boyfriend so I feel like she thinks that now she's hit her 30's that it's a mad dash to attach herself to the nearest man possible, which is a total overreaction. She always asks me why I have better luck and I always tell her to give a fella breathing space. Don't cling on too much or come off as needy, and don't contact somebody every single day. But that seems to sift right through her brain when she gets a date.

If she dates older men, she'll find what she's looking for.

Older men who are single appreciate the woman who cares too much.

 

[Five]

I set up a new Gmail account, started another OKCupid account. Took a picture of myself, 'shopped it to look like a female (which isn't that hard since my hair falls past my shoulders and I'm fairly young). Upload to OKCupid. Filled out all my deets pretty close to how they are on my main account. Answered 75 questions the same as my main account, to the point of OKCupid giving me and myself a 99% match.

Eight hours later. 50 profile visits and 41 likes. It'll be depressing going back to the other side!

 

[DoktorEvil]

I set up a new Gmail account, started another OKCupid account. Took a picture of myself, 'shopped it to look like a female (which isn't that hard since my hair falls past my shoulders and I'm fairly young). Upload to OKCupid. Filled out all my deets pretty close to how they are on my main account. Answered 75 questions the same as my main account, to the point of OKCupid giving me and myself a 99% match.

Eight hours later. 50 profile visits and 41 likes. It'll be depressing going back to the other side!

Just wait for the occasional dick selfies and the creepy one liners.

 

[Five]

Just wait for the occasional dick selfies and the creepy one liners.

Oh, yeah. I'm sure it will come in good time. I've only been sent four messages so far. The longest one is two sentences long, which feels short to me. At the least, I generally send a paragraph of more to girls.

 

[Devolution]

Bad idea.

This question has been asked several times and there are two major issues with it:

1. What guys find funny is NOT what girls find funny. I've seen profiles that guys will think are hilarious (see: timedog's profile) but it doesn't translate as well to girls. Not to mention, it's more important to attract girls rather than entertain them. Many guys think that simply making a girl laugh means she's attracted to you and it's not true. They are separate things. There's a reason girls go for actors and rock stars over comedians and clowns..

I don't agree. A guy who makes it obvious he doesn't take himself so seriously is a plus. Given what I've seen of his profile, TD managed and still manages to get messages from women. Rarely had to send them out.

Sincere serious OKC profiles are boring to me and some of my friends. In the end it's a YMMV thing and people should figure out what they can and can't get away with.

 

[Jhoan]

I feel you, I got tired of it super quick. Occasionally though, a girl will message you back long after you thought she'd lost interest.

That tends to happen frequently in the world of online dating. It's happened to me a few times already and it drives me insane when a girl replies 1-2 weeks later. Some GAF members have gotten replies back 1-2 months later!

Do you guys have any input on replies when the other person is online versus whne they aren't? I always seem to get replies when the other person is actually on, but if I leave a message for them to see it's really hit or miss. I'm wondering if the spontaneity of messaging someone when they are on gives them less time to consider not replying. I think it feels more like ignoring than simply not replying, too. If that makes any sense.

In my experience, messaging a girl while she's online (many girls have the OKC app on their phone) and she replies back to the point where you have a back and forth going means her interest is incredibly interested. Usually you'll want to strike while the iron is hot because if you break the rhythm and reply back say a few hours later, some girls' interests goes down the drain. It depends. Some girls are probably bored and find it entertaining when a guy messages them that they reply. As a quick anecdote, when I had my OKC profile about 2 years ago, this older woman messaged me. We had a back and forth going until I got invited to go the pool. About 4 hours later, I got home and responded but her interest had been gone by then so it fizzled out. I'll give you an example in my update below.

I hear you. I am not a very articulate person and have trouble expressing my thoughts with words. I think the main cause of this for me is that I always did that with writing and am a generally quiet person so I really don't speak much. I honestly think I come off a bit slow in person sometimes because I can't formulate thoughts on the fly and then speak for a great deal of time about them with confidence.

I am convinced though that all of this can be improved with practice. So that is what I am doing now, working on strengthening the tongue, doing tongue twisters, reading out-loud and am strongly considering joining a toastmasters club so that I can get practice and feedback on public speaking. Hell, I am trying to become a teacher so all of this will be damn useful to me besides getting a girl.

I mean, the last date I felt went well since we talked for a little under 2 hours and I she was smiling and laughing (I was not all that funny), but I am a bit concerned about getting a second date because I know I was not all that articulate, did not have good body language, and struggled to get my point across on occasion. Plus, I sent her a message telling her to have a good trip and tell me when she gets back (she is going traveling for about a month). I never got a response. I am not sure what to make of that, but no matter what I'll try for a second date anyway since I definitely did dig the girl.

http://www.write-out-loud.com/quickeasyeffectivetipsforvocalvariety.html

Exercises for monotones

Some damn good stuff. I'll look into that link. I'm not the most outgoing person myself that I'm occasionally quiet (which usually is because I'm pensive or listening) but when I speak, I tend to be very excited/anxious that I speak with an excited voice. It gets to the point where sometimes people can't understand what I'm saying because I too wear my words on the tip of my tongue as supposed to inside my head. This is where I have to think about what I'm going to say before trying to articulate it. When I speak slower, I get into a rhythm.

I would definitely recommend checking out Toastmasters. There's one here in my college that meets every Friday night. I went to a few meetings about 2 years ago but chickened out because I found it intimidating. I still have intentions of returning to it since I'm usually in school on Friday nights. Doing stuff that scares you will only make you less intimidated by it. The more you do public speaking, the better you're going to get at it. I want to participate in The Moth storytelling event one of these days since all the stories sound awesome.

A quick update from my camp and I'm ghost. I'm pretty sure I have a date this weekend since I've had a back and forth going with a cute girl originally from Chicago who initially gave me a five star rating. Since I've been meaning to lower my standards, I said screw it and messaged her. Only problem is I just realized that I'll be going to a convention Saturday and Sunday since I have a Press badge. I think I can manage to do both.

She seems cool. At some point she asked me what it was about her profile that made me message her. Hopefully by the next reply I should have her number since I suggested a place that we should go to. As for the number messaging exchanges before the number? I say screw the 4-5 exchanges thing and do it whenever it feels comfortable; I've had about 10 exchanges with this girl so far. It'll be my first date in almost a year. But don't keep it behind the computer for too long since the whole reason both parties are there is to meet face to face.

 

[vicissitudes]

I don't agree. A guy who makes it obvious he doesn't take himself so seriously is a plus. Given what I've seen of his profile, TD managed and still manages to get messages from women. Rarely had to send them out.

Sincere serious OKC profiles are boring to me and some of my friends. In the end it's a YMMV thing and people should figure out what they can and can't get away with.

I'll elaborate a bit, hopefully it'll be of some help to others in this thread.

I agree that serious and boring profiles are no good. Avoid this:

I work at a tech company in the city. When I'm not working, I like to meet new people and try out new restaurants. I'm also trying to cook more but it's hard to find the time. I'm always trying to explore the city more and travel whenever I can. My hobbies include hiking, computer games, and going to the gym.

Okay, blah blah. Boring.

Now, I picked out some guys who were rated highly and replies very selectively as examples. Not that that's the end-all be-all determinant of successful profiles, but it's helpful.

Here's one that's more straight-laced:

I think of myself as very ambitious, hard working and confident. I believe in always doing what right, being honest, and helping people. My time and energy has been devoted to my career as an EMT. Nothing is more motivating than waking up knowing you're going to make a difference today. I've been an EMT for 8 years, have my Paramedic license and now back in school for a Bachelors in Health Admin/Emergency Management.

This one, coupled with good pics, makes a strong profile. It's "serious" but doesn't take itself too seriously, and the guy comes across and genuine, motivated, and you get a good idea of his character.

Here's one that's a bit more playful:

Worked at three Olympics (Turin, Beijing, Vancouver). No London in 2012 (hadn't gotten over the Brits for torching our White House exactly two centuries earlier. Have since forgiven them soley because of Benedict Cumberbatch). And no Sochi (Putin and I had a falling out).

Spent time in China, Thailand, Nepal (you haven't lived until you've Tindered in Nepal).

This one's funny without coming off as trying too hard, while still highlighting his positive traits. Humor in online dating is tricky - you have to have a certain amount of subtlety (something most guys are not good at), and it needs to be as inoffensive as possible. This is assuming that you are trying to cast as wide a net as possible, which most guys are. When I see guys who try to be funny, 90% of the time it falls flat. If they are trying to be over-the-top, it's something like 99%. Even with something similar to TD's profile, the results are probably going to be a lot more mixed. At least, these have been my observations.

 

[Devolution]

I'll elaborate a bit, hopefully it'll be of some help to others in this thread.

I agree that serious and boring profiles are no good. Avoid this:



Okay, blah blah. Boring.

Now, I picked out some guys who were rated highly and replies very selectively as examples. Not that that's the end-all be-all determinant of successful profiles, but it's helpful.

Here's one that's more straight-laced:



This one, coupled with good pics, makes a strong profile. It's "serious" but doesn't take itself too seriously, and the guy comes across and genuine, motivated, and you get a good idea of his character.

Here's one that's a bit more playful:



This one's funny without coming off as trying too hard, while still highlighting his positive traits. Humor in online dating is tricky - you have to have a certain amount of subtlety (something most guys are not good at), and it needs to be as inoffensive as possible. This is assuming that you are trying to cast as wide a net as possible, which most guys are. When I see guys who try to be funny, 90% of the time it falls flat. If they are trying to be over-the-top, it's something like 99%. Even with something similar to TD's profile, the results are probably going to be a lot more mixed. At least, these have been my observations.

Now this I agree with since you elaborated and provided good examples that definitely back the points up.

 

[Jhoan]

Got stood up. Girl didn't respond to last text when I asked her to meet me on a specific street. Probably got spooked. I don't care since I'm in my original destination/plan any way. Don't think I'll contact her again. If she cares, then she'll contact me asking to reschedule. Otherwise, on to the next one.

 

[y2dvd]

Easily move on. There's no excuse for bailing out unless it was an emergency, which she could've at least messaged you. I wouldn't bother.

So after not hearing a reply a few days after my last text from that girl I last talked about, I decided to go for broke and do something yall probably would've told me not to do lol. I explained I was extremely nervous on the first date and I wanted to do something simple if she's down next time and catch the Spurs/Heats game tomorrow night. She said that was actually very sweet and she's down, but she already made plans with her friend. I could join if I wanted to though. Just going off of past experiences, meeting a date's group of friends so early had been a terrible experience. I think I'll pass on the game and see if she wants to have dinner instead another night. I rather build some one on one relationship before being introduced to each others friends.

Gotta bring my A-game for the 2nd date.

 

[Jhoan]

Welp, it turned out she did show up... an hour later. Only I was in the covention center with bad cell phone signal. I came out, apologized, she said she left, told her to wait for me; no reply. Plus I had no idea what she looked like or was wearing.

It's been miscommunication on both sides all around. Communication with that girl has been god awful; texting is not all that good. I need to remember to call girls more often in situations like this/in general.

I'm waiting on some friends to meet up with them. I'm going to need a drink. Like I said, we both done goof but not going to explain myself. I'm deleting her number and moving on. Thankfully it wasn't a total waste of my day.

 

[Piecake]

Well, another date and she was nice and outgoing, but I really wasn't all that attracted to her (she looked better in her pics) and didn't really feel a spark. Plus, she was like 30 minutes late and while we had a good conversation, I don't think our interests really aligned so I don't think we could really maintain that. Well, the more dates I go on the better I will get at it (conversationally that is), so if I end up getting a second date with that one girl when she gets back I think it would be definitely worth it.

I guess I should have expected this, but I think all of the email notifications of people who liked me or have messaged me have all been from girls who I am not attracted to or has a kid. I kinda feel bad ignoring them, but I feel that that is better than leading them on (I am assuming that is the thought process of all of the girls who ignore my messages).

 

[Smiley90]

All I've been getting lately are profile views in response to messages. Should I take that as my messages being alright, but my profile/pics not being appealing enough to warrant a response?

 

[.GqueB.]

so hear me out:

After giving match.com a chance and not getting jack shit, I have a theory about ok cupid that I want to try out.

I want to create the most ridiculously over the top profile ever and see if women respond to ridiculous, off-beat humor.

Good idea or bad?

I mean, obvious photoshops of my face onto spiderman saving a baby, or onto a lumberjack with six pack abs even on his arms. Basically absurd BS that's not everyone else's boring ass profiles.

Yea don't do this. A certain level of quirkiness can be a good thing though. I wrote my profile like a resume and got a nice amount of responses.

 

[DoktorEvil]

Yea don't do this. A certain level of quirkiness can be a good thing though. I wrote my profile like a resume and got a nice amount of responses.

Anything to avoid reading or becoming like half of the boring profiles that I come across.

Literally, a lot of women on OkCupid can put the most dull, boring, and most uninteresting descriptions ever, but have a pretty or racy photograph and guys come crawling for the thirst.

 

[Piecake]

Anything to avoid reading or becoming like half of the boring profiles that I come across.

Literally, a lot of women on OkCupid can put the most dull, boring, and most uninteresting descriptions ever, but have a pretty or racy photograph and guys come crawling for the thirst.

Eh, I have a feeling it's better to come off as genuine. I know I definitively couldn't pull off snark or wit during the first date, so the only thing I did was include a bit of levity into my profile. If your only goal is to just get a date and that's it, then, sure, give it a shot, but it doesn't seem like a good strategy to get an actual relationship.

I am sure mine is a typical 'boring' profile, but try-hard witty, irreverent, and cutesy profiles honestly turn me off a bit. Same with racy photos. I look for shared-interests and beliefs (and, obviously, if I am attracted to them). I'd imagine that a lot of women feel the same. Of course, I am 30 so I am looking for and women also seem to be looking for something long term.

Also, I really want to see who has all liked me. Damn you A-list. I am too cheap to buy you, but I want to know!

 

[Old Lace]

When I asked for this girl's number, she asked me if I had a Facebook account. So, now we're Facebook friends. She doesn't have her interests listed on OkCupid or Facebook. I'm not sure how to proceed because last time I became Facebook friends with an OkCupid girl, nothing happened.

 

[Smiley90]

When I asked for this girl's number, she asked me if I had a Facebook account. So, now we're Facebook friends. She doesn't have her interests listed on OkCupid or Facebook. I'm not sure how to proceed because last time I became Facebook friends with an OkCupid girl, nothing happened.

She probably asked for your facebook to see if you were real.

 

[Old Lace]

She probably asked for your facebook to see if you were real.

I'm not sure how to approach the situation now.

 

[Smiley90]

I'm not sure how to approach the situation now.

the same way you would if she hadn't asked for your facebook?

 

[y2dvd]

Also, I really want to see who has all liked me. Damn you A-list. I am too cheap to buy you, but I want to know!

The only thing to do now is to like everyone you come across until you get a match!

Spoiler

I wish I had it too to see who likes me but I ain't paying for it ;l

I read the most atrocious profile ever. No pics that was smiling, said who ever asked for her number or gave one liners or a detailed message are low lives, and to not even think about doing cheap dates like coffee or the movies or a bar. She admits to being high maintenance. I 1 starred her profile so fast before upgrading the app. Sad thing is she still probably gets plenty of messages. I even thought about sending a nasty message but refrained.

I'm getting random spurts of success again. Keep in mind success to me is to just getting chatting with me lol. I got one to agree to go out with me tonight and another one is busy until next week but she seems interested. I got another one's number only within a few minutes and like 5 messages so that was fast. No word yet if she wants to go out. I'm still on that thirst and just hitting everyone up lol.

 

[Juke Joint Jezebel]

The only thing to do now is to like everyone you come across until you get a match!

Spoiler

I wish I had it too to see who likes me but I ain't paying for it ;l

I read the most atrocious profile ever. No pics that was smiling, said who ever asked for her number or gave one liners or a detailed message are low lives, and to not even think about doing cheap dates like coffee or the movies or a bar. She admits to being high maintenance. I 1 starred her profile so fast before upgrading the app. Sad thing is she still probably gets plenty of messages. I even thought about sending a nasty message but refrained.

Wow, sounds like a complete and utter bitch. Because somebody sends detailed messages she considers them lowlife scum? Haha, I'd love detailed messages from a fella I haven't dated yet discussing their career, hobbies, interests, etc. If anything I think more of guys who do that more than "Hey how r u" and crap like that.

 

[Jhoan]

I'm not sure how to approach the situation now.

Well if you don't want to be another one her hundreds of friends that she has added that she'll never talk to, then continue chatting with her and eventually suggest hanging out for the weekend. If she makes up an excuse, then consider it her loss and move on or you can stay friends with her.

Personally, I never add girls from OKC on FB if they ask for it since it's a bit too personal (not that I have anything embarrassing to hide but still). Instead what I would do is say that I deactivated it to force their hand. In my experience if a girl suggests exchanging FB's instead of giving you her number, then it's more of an afterthought in hopes that you forget.

Also get in this thread. We would like you to come out and play.

The only thing to do now is to like everyone you come across until you get a match!

Spoiler

I wish I had it too to see who likes me but I ain't paying for it ;l

I read the most atrocious profile ever. No pics that was smiling, said who ever asked for her number or gave one liners or a detailed message are low lives, and to not even think about doing cheap dates like coffee or the movies or a bar. She admits to being high maintenance. I 1 starred her profile so fast before upgrading the app. Sad thing is she still probably gets plenty of messages. I even thought about sending a nasty message but refrained.

I'm getting random spurts of success again. Keep in mind success to me is to just getting chatting with me lol. I got one to agree to go out with me tonight and another one is busy until next week but she seems interested. I got another one's number only within a few minutes and like 5 messages so that was fast. No word yet if she wants to go out. I'm still on that thirst and just hitting everyone up lol.

I came across a 19 year old's profile who had unrealistic expectations. Also a 27 year old's profile who's "You Should Message Me" said "if you're like me and think that online dating is weird." I mean really? If one finds online dating weird, then why make an account in the first place? That makes no sense.

I too have been getting random spurts of success as I've been getting replies back left and right these past few days after hitting up younger girls in the 19-21 range (I'm turning 26 on Thursday for reference). It's been great. The pizza or sushi question has been working wonders when I can't come up with something original to ask. It's gold Jerry, gold. Keep fighting the good fight guys.

Unfortunately, I haven't gotten any dates out of any of them. In fact, I blew my chances with this 19 year old girl that I had several exchanges with last night because when I went for the number, I offered up mines and asked for hers.

I didn't get a reply back so I deleted the thread of messages and that was the end of it. When I told my friend and my brother this, they said that I came off as desperate by offering up my number and that I need to cut that habit off completely since I still haven't learned my lesson.

I blame it on Brent Smith for this and ingraining it into me; unless you're Brad Pitt in looks and the girl thinks you have incredibly high value, offering your number in the online dating realm/to girls in general sinks guys faster than the Titanic. Don't do it; fortune favors the bold. Ask for the number.

I will not repeat the same mistake ever again. I'm going to apply what I learned to these 2-3 other girls that I'm messaging and either ask for their number or ask if they would like to transition the conversation to another medium. At least the rest of you guys new to OKC can learn from my mistakes.

 

[SolidusDave]

Also, I really want to see who has all liked me. Damn you A-list. I am too cheap to buy you, but I want to know!

I don't know if they fixed this in the new update but the android app allowed you to see the last 3 people that liked you. Well you can see age, city and match % but that's enough to find her/him.

I'm not updating to keep that little help

 

[Piecake]

I don't know if they fixed this in the new update but the android app allowed you to see the last 3 people that liked you. Well you can see age, city and match % but that's enough to find her/him.

I'm not updating to keep that little help

That might be useful if I owned a smartphone To me, they aren't worth the cost.

I had a date last night and it went really well. I don't know if I see anything super long term because our shared interests are a bit off (I don't think she is going to challenge me to try something new, etc), but I will pursue it. I think she was into me as well since she did spend quite a bit of time twirling her hair.

As for asking out strategy, I haven't bothered to ask a girl her number yet. After about the 3rd back and forth I ask her out for drinks (my Inner saving self is cringing) and give her my number if she accepts. Has worked so far and I would rather meet face to face then have a long, drawn out conservation over okcupid or the phone.

 

[y2dvd]

Wow, sounds like a complete and utter bitch. Because somebody sends detailed messages she considers them lowlife scum? Haha, I'd love detailed messages from a fella I haven't dated yet discussing their career, hobbies, interests, etc. If anything I think more of guys who do that more than "Hey how r u" and crap like that.

Yeah, it made no sense. She didn't want one liners but she didn't want thoughtful messages with effort. Screw her

I too have been getting random spurts of success as I've been getting replies back left and right these past few days after hitting up younger girls in the 19-21 range (I'm turning 26 on Thursday for reference). It's been great. The pizza or sushi question has been working wonders when I can't come up with something original to ask. It's gold Jerry, gold. Keep fighting the good fight guys.

Unfortunately, I haven't gotten any dates out of any of them. In fact, I blew my chances with this 19 year old girl that I had several exchanges with last night because when I went for the number, I offered up mines and asked for hers.

I didn't get a reply back so I deleted the thread of messages and that was the end of it. When I told my friend and my brother this, they said that I came off as desperate by offering up my number and that I need to cut that habit off completely since I still haven't learned my lesson.

I blame it on Brent Smith for this and ingraining it into me; unless you're Brad Pitt in looks and the girl thinks you have incredibly high value, offering your number in the online dating realm/to girls in general sinks guys faster than the Titanic. Don't do it; fortune favors the bold. Ask for the number.

I will not repeat the same mistake ever again. I'm going to apply what I learned to these 2-3 other girls that I'm messaging and either ask for their number or ask if they would like to transition the conversation to another medium. At least the rest of you guys new to OKC can learn from my mistakes.

The pizza vs sushi sometimes gets a response but I never know where to go from there lol. I'm better off talking about something I can relate to in the profile.

It usually takes dozens of messages before even attempting to ask for a number. I know some people here said they can get it within a few messages. Just gotta feel it out. I got one earlier within 10 messages. I guess I'll share how it went. This was earlier today. We matched each other with a like. She had in her profile the first thing people noticed: her beautiful eyes. My response.

Me: I like how you call out your own eyes as beautiful lol. They are beautiful though.
Her: Thanks
Me: Do I get a compliment in return?! ;P
Her: You get a question in return. Are you single?
Me: At least it wasn't a bad question lol. Yeah I'm single. You?
Her: I'm single too
Me: What's a pretty girl like you still doing single?
Me: What's your name?
Her: [her name]
Me: I should've been able to guess that lol. Nice to meet you. The name's [my name].
Her: Nice to meet you too [my name]. Do you text?
Me: Yeah what's your #?
Her: Give me yours. I'll text you

We've texted each other trying to work out a date. I pretty went for the # when she asked if I text. I normally don't get it this early though, and I normally don't pressure them to give one. They usually end up giving it to me if we message each other back and forth for while. I will pressure for a date quickly though.

 

[Piecake]

This girl I asked out for drinks said she is free on the weekend to do something. I am taking that to mean free during the day to do something.

That leads me to my question, lunch or coffee/early drinks? What can I say, I am not very creative and would rather spend the first date getting to know the person than doing something. I am leaning towards lunch, because hey, everyone has to eat lunch and coffee pretty much means early afternoon, which kinda wastes the day. Thoughts?

 

[y2dvd]

I find it hard to conversate smoothly while eating. I say coffee/boba tea!

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

Girl visited my profile.

Under the stuff she wouldn't admit, she put:

I pee in the pool.

Yup.

Yup yup.

 

[Piecake]

Girl visited my profile.

Under the stuff she wouldn't admit, she put:

I pee in the pool.

Yup.

Yup yup.

I think that's code that she's into water sports. Go for it dude

 

[DoktorEvil]

Girl visited my profile.

Under the stuff she wouldn't admit, she put:

I pee in the pool.

Yup.

Yup yup.

She's a swimmer? Might have a very nice swimmer's body.

Go for her.

 

[MilkBeard]

Girl visited my profile.

Under the stuff she wouldn't admit, she put:

I pee in the pool.

Yup.

Yup yup.

She's a Golden Shower enthusiast confirmed.

 

[y2dvd]

Girl visited my profile.

Under the stuff she wouldn't admit, she put:

I pee in the pool.

Yup.

Yup yup.

Machida is interested.

 

[Jhoan]

OKC sent this to me today since it's my birthday. Gotta love it when a dating website tells you to hit up more people. I think I will message a wave of new girls.

Unfortunately, my messaging hot streak ended; messages have pretty much fizzled out. I'm not even mad.

I was supposed to meet up with a 19 year old tomorrow but she didn't reply to message all day yesterday nor am I expecting to get a reply back by tonight. Since I was planning to go see an art exhibition tomorrow any way, I'm going to stick with it. I always have an original plan before a potential date throws a wrench in it.

 

[y2dvd]

Good plan. I planned a date in an area where if it doesn't work out whether the date is bad or I get stood up or whatever, it's an area my buddies normally hangs out at so I can just meet them up afterwards.

And I am proceeding with this date tomorrow with caution. She sounded a little to eager to meet me and even wanted me to pick her up from the airport before the date. It would be a good time to get to know each other she says. I told her nah, but we can meet at the original date location if she still wants lol. In fairness, she did follow up only if I didn't mind the request of picking her up. Still, we'll see.

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

Might have a very nice swimmer's body.

Nope.

nope nope nope

 

[NoctisVsStar]

Guys is it me or the app always shows you or the other person online? I say this cause at times when you look at your messaging history it shows like a green dot despite that person being offline.

 

[TangerineCloud]

Guys is it me or the app always shows you or the other person online? I say this cause at times when you look at your messaging history it shows like a green dot despite that person being offline.

Yep. Do you keep the app open in the background? In my experience, it'll still say you're online if you don't close it completely. And I've heard that it shows you as being online until 30 minutes after you log off, so that might be what you're experiencing.