Hm, i must have a really shitty profile and/or be an ugly motherfucker cos i don't get shit. I have to send at least 10 messages a day to get anywehere and probably closer to 20.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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Hm, i must have a really shitty profile and/or be an ugly motherfucker cos i don't get shit. I have to send at least 10 messages a day to get anywehere and probably closer to 20.
I wouldn't say that. Like I said, I started getting messaged and more replies when I put a picture with my shirt off in there and the messages I get haven't been from anyone I'd consider dating so far.
I probably get a reply 20% of the time maybe and half the time they just stop replying after a few.
One woman gave me her number to text, I asked if I could call her in a text and never heard back from her. Then I saw someone that was in a picture with her labeled "me and my sis" viewed my profile so I asked her.
I probably looked like a stalker but I found it funny that they would both view my profile. She denied knowing her and the picture got deleted 20 minutes after I sent the message haha.
Someone said earlier in this topic and Ive found it to be true, attractive to semi-attractive women can be extremely picky on these sites because of how many messages they get.
Online dating is worthless the majority of the time if you arent a total stud. Its a game for women to always be in pursuit of a better guy. So even if you go on a date and you think its successful in the back of the woman's mind she's always thinking she can find someone better online. They get messaged so much they view it as an endless pool of selection, like buying shoes.
The relationships that do work out are usually the unattractive people, or women that have encountered enough bad luck where they have been on enough dates with douchebags that you become the lucky "good" guy they decide to settle with because they think there isnt anything better, or not worth more effort.
The relationships that do work out are usually the unattractive people, or women that have encountered enough bad luck where they have been on enough dates with douchebags that you become the lucky "good" guy they decide to settle with because they think there isnt anything better, or not worth more effort.
Yup. I don't think I'm drop dead gorgeous or anything, my self esteem is pretty off and on and I come off as cold in most pictures I take. I know I'm not ugly but its hard for me to come off as fun in a picture.
And thats the main reason I try to get a phone call going. I know if I just act like myself some women will appreciate that because I'm not trying my hardest to impress them and I don't act like I'm full of shit for the most part.
Online dating is a woman's market, the ugliest of she beasts can pull out of their leagues. What i find funny is that there are occaisionally girls, some even on GAF who claim that women have it just as hard adn that online dating is not so awesome for them. I would gladly trade message and response rate with the ugliest of girl on a dating site with my present statw. This shit feels liek job hunting. Do i send a personalsied ocvering letter, do i edit my CV again, do i lie? All a girl needs to do is be above a 5 and wait. I need to stop sounding so bitter.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
We've never had it!
No real flirty talk, but she does compliment me. She's usually pretty elaborate with her answers. It probably helps I'm good at asking questions.
Yeah, probably friend zoned.
Oh well, she lives far away anyway.Sounds like what could have been a disastrous evening actually worked in your benefit.
I agree with you guys in the above statements. Online dating sites seem to have the most success for either ugly folk, or super attractive folk. Everyone else in between is just sort of screwed, because guys message attractive girls, and those attractive but not quite 9/10 status keep thinking a guy of that caliber in looks will be just around the corner.
Women hold all the cards here. We dudes just dance around like monkeys for their amusement and hope for the best.
Women hold all the cards here. We dudes just dance around like monkeys for their amusement and hope for the best.
Its the unfortunate truth, I agree. A majority of the girls looking at my profile are 5 or below IMO and I don't see any reason to chase them. Any girl who's even slightly cute gets the lion's share of picks because there's no doubt she's getting tons of messages.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I think this site has only made me feel less desirable. Disabling my account for a while.
Freezie KO
Banned
Well, now I'm depressed. I was going to (re-)join OK Cupid, and now I finished reading all these replies confirming my first experience with the site.
soul creator
Member
I think this is my favorite message I've ever sent to someone on okcupid:
Decided to just cut things off completely with the girl who posted pictures of her sister up as her own. She's texted me five times now demanding to know why I've ignored her texts. All I can say is that I'm glad I dodged that bullet.
On another note, I drunkedly messaged ten girls last night. It wasn't bad at all. I just had a little more courage than usual. This morning I was delighted to see the one I was most interested in replied as well as two others. Turns out target girl is actually really close to one of my good friends. I'm kind of put off by that.
Initially I thought it was cool, but the more I think about it I feel uncomfortable. I think it's because we kind of know each other without knowing each other and it takes away from actually learning things about each other.
At this point, I'm kind of put off by OKC. I feel like things are forced and nothing seems as awesome as flirting and having a conversation with a girl in person. Yesterday I held up the line at my local deli because I locked eyes with the cahsier and got her number minutes later. There isn't a better feeling than that. Online dating is easy, but it just takes the fun out of finding someone.
On another note, I drunkedly messaged ten girls last night. It wasn't bad at all. I just had a little more courage than usual. This morning I was delighted to see the one I was most interested in replied as well as two others. Turns out target girl is actually really close to one of my good friends. I'm kind of put off by that.
Initially I thought it was cool, but the more I think about it I feel uncomfortable. I think it's because we kind of know each other without knowing each other and it takes away from actually learning things about each other.
At this point, I'm kind of put off by OKC. I feel like things are forced and nothing seems as awesome as flirting and having a conversation with a girl in person. Yesterday I held up the line at my local deli because I locked eyes with the cahsier and got her number minutes later. There isn't a better feeling than that. Online dating is easy, but it just takes the fun out of finding someone.
So far after 2 months here I've been on one date that wasn't very good.
I've actually been getting a decent amount of messages for a guy but... the people messaging me are just either clearly not someone I'm going to get along with or well, I feel bad saying it, but pretty ugly.
Anyway I think I've run out of girls I'm interested in here. I feel like I've sent them all a message already. I guess I'll keep looking and see if new people have turned up.
I think my profile is boring though, I need help again:
Here it is.
I've actually been getting a decent amount of messages for a guy but... the people messaging me are just either clearly not someone I'm going to get along with or well, I feel bad saying it, but pretty ugly.
Anyway I think I've run out of girls I'm interested in here. I feel like I've sent them all a message already. I guess I'll keep looking and see if new people have turned up.
I think my profile is boring though, I need help again:
Here it is.
Seems like my messages are getting a bit better. I've started to make them less generic or business like and more personable. I've been able to put in my dry/smartarse humour and have gotten a few replies because of it. Though because of the improved messages I've gotten a lot more profile views with no replies. I know it shouldn't effect you but it sure chips away at your confidence.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Online dating is a number's game, and just like real life you'll have ups and downs. One week you may exchange messages with multiple girls. The next you'll get absolutely nothing.
But if the area you're in is rather large, the turnover rate is pretty good.
Just be optimistic and confident that you're different and better than the other guys on there. Not every girl will see it, but some will.
Don't settle, but don't be entirely superficial either (that's hard to do considering the medium, but try to keep an open mind). You're not super-handsome yet you want that hot girl to message you? Reverse the genders and suddenly you're ignoring messages from uglier girls.
But if the area you're in is rather large, the turnover rate is pretty good.
Just be optimistic and confident that you're different and better than the other guys on there. Not every girl will see it, but some will.
Don't settle, but don't be entirely superficial either (that's hard to do considering the medium, but try to keep an open mind). You're not super-handsome yet you want that hot girl to message you? Reverse the genders and suddenly you're ignoring messages from uglier girls.
So what the frizzlefrap are you supposed to do if their profile is completely bare, as in they didn't fill out any of the text fields on the front page, filled out some of the stuff in the box on the side, put up two photos, and answered a few questions.
I've tried messaging a couple of these, gotten responses from about 25% of them.
I've tried messaging a couple of these, gotten responses from about 25% of them.
GameplayWhore
Member
Seems like my messages are getting a bit better. I've started to make them less generic or business like and more personable. I've been able to put in my dry/smartarse humour and have gotten a few replies because of it. Though because of the improved messages I've gotten a lot more profile views with no replies. I know it shouldn't effect you but it sure chips away at your confidence.
I'm kvetching right now because I sent out a message earlier, noticed that my profile was viewed, and haven't gotten a response yet. This would be the first time in memory that this has happened (maybe my first couple messages when I tried the greater part of a decade ago didn't get responses; I remember messing up conversations but not missing initial responses). This makes me uncomfortable. I mean, yeesh, I built a geodesic dome for these ladies. What more do they want from me, blood?
(I also donate blood regularly, and the phlebs are usually ladies, so there we go)
Anyway, for what it's worth, I usually look at what they're interested in, find how it intersects with what I'm interested in, and send a question along the lines of "Hey, are you going to [REALLY AMAZING UPCOMING EVENT]?" Then we have something cool to talk about.
Girls are more attractive. I've found that a girl who has basically let herself go will be more admired than a guy who keeps an okay diet and exercises every once in a while. I guess breasts are an automatic bonus to your score.
So I suppose OKC is a success. At this point I'm not messaging anyone, and haven't for days. I signed in to check views/messages to me, but that's it. I'm going to give this girl a chance and just take it slow. We just have too much in common and I like being around her to not at least see how it pans out.
Our 4th date is Wednesday at my place, fairly low key. Friday we have a bigger date at her place, and we both want to go bungie jumping for at this cheap spot since neither of us have before.
OKC successful. Took going on 2 dates before this girl, and I messaged well over 140 girls just on OKC alone.(More on POF and match.com too)
Grinding of the HIGHEST caliber.
Our 4th date is Wednesday at my place, fairly low key. Friday we have a bigger date at her place, and we both want to go bungie jumping for at this cheap spot since neither of us have before.
OKC successful. Took going on 2 dates before this girl, and I messaged well over 140 girls just on OKC alone.(More on POF and match.com too)
Grinding of the HIGHEST caliber.
Haha I thought that was hilarious. I love getting messages like that.
Barack Lesnar
Banned
wrong thread lol sorry
Biff
Member
It's either your location, your "answers", or... well... I have some bad news for you, son.
I'm not sure. What's strange is I'm on Match also and don't have that issue there. Weird....
GameplayWhore
Member
Wow, I just signed up on POF, and it's pretty clear that gaming isn't very popular. Whole bunch of the people on the first list that I see are all "NO MORE GAMES!".
Hmph. Is there a gafdate.com or something to balance this out?
…also, that was an annoying signup. Too many questions up front.
edit: oh. Every test is like a million questions.
edit: and half the questions are about things that don't even apply to me. Ye gods!
edit: Why does a girl need to specify in her profile that she doesn't want to date "gay dudes". In what universe does that make sense!?
Hmph. Is there a gafdate.com or something to balance this out?
…also, that was an annoying signup. Too many questions up front.
edit: oh. Every test is like a million questions.
edit: and half the questions are about things that don't even apply to me. Ye gods!
edit: Why does a girl need to specify in her profile that she doesn't want to date "gay dudes". In what universe does that make sense!?
The content is fine, but the delivery is a bit stale and repetitive. Switch up your sentence structure. Show off your English major.
Freezie KO
Banned
Maybe so, but I feel like I could be someone else's "ugly chick," so I feel bad when scroll right past a so-called "ugly chick." Such is life.
ZackusMaximus
Banned
I just made an account on OKC. I spent about an hour answering questions and browsing through dozens of fat girls until finding a couple that are my type. Now my inner SAP has taken over and I have no idea what to say. *sigh*
fuzzyreactor
Banned
was actually surprised by the # of hot chicks on OKcupid. even seen a couple familiar faces.
It's got it's share of shallow assholes too...
Not really if you're only counting these four things (well, with the exception of the last one maybe). My personal dealbreaker list is a little longer than that and is what kills it for me most of the time.
Just say hi and comment on something about their profile.
true my mans
GameplayWhore
Member
This seems like it's limiting the scope of the gender. Many girls aren't interested in that at all, and just want to generally enjoy themselves. Many men have their okcupid list in the back of their heads while they're on a date.
edit: my above statements apply to both attractive and unattractive people of both sexes
dehydratedbabies
Member
GameplayWhore I like your username, if you used it on OkCupid and if I was a girl I'd totally message you.
I don't know why there's so much whining about OkCupid here. I'm not a "total stud" by any means but I've already had three great dates from it. One was with a perfect 10 (and she had other admirable qualities as well).
And this is in Rochester, NY - not a huge city and kind of in the middle of nowhere.
And this is in Rochester, NY - not a huge city and kind of in the middle of nowhere.
Im not sure if you're joking or not but, I'd assume no more games means they don't want to play emotional games... Like with rules on how soon to text back or when ask out on another date or something. Mind games. They dont mean Zelda.
Ok guys, so I'm seeing a girl on Thursday that is really sexually forward. She has said stuff like "need someone to bounce my ass on" and when I asked if a place was alright to meet at she just asked when she could give me head. I'm a little concerned about where this girls mouth has been, really. I've deflected her more sexual messages but went forward anyway because on some level I'm flattered that she messaged me.... But I doubt I'm the first that she's messaged like this.
I suppose I'm hoping we can have a normal date first, but maybe I'm not being realistic. Also wondering where she's been. It's a little early in my sexual career to catch an STI.
Has this kind of thing happened to anyone else, and did it work out?
I suppose I'm hoping we can have a normal date first, but maybe I'm not being realistic. Also wondering where she's been. It's a little early in my sexual career to catch an STI.
Has this kind of thing happened to anyone else, and did it work out?
Baggatoast
Member
So, my great matches (85%+) are really attractive for the most part.
My problem is they all must have a good bit of self-confidence because they haven't been online in months.
They have such good taste too.
My problem is they all must have a good bit of self-confidence because they haven't been online in months.
They have such good taste too.
I'm all about being sex positive, but wow. Well, if you use protection, you really only have to worry about herpes.
HSV-1 from the aforementioned head, and HSV-2 through regular sex - whose risk of transmission is lessened but not prevented using a condom. Most adults already have HSV-1, but you can get it in the genital area when you didn't previously have it. Without her having an outbreak, the risks of transmission aren't very high. If she knew she had it and was on Valtrex, it's even lower.
http://www.healthassist.net/conditions/herpes.shtml
Hope I helped.
I asked the girl I've been chatting to for a week or so to exchange numbers and have some drinks. I heard nothing but then today I get a message at like 11:30pm going " *her phone number*. I'd like that. xx "
Seems like she's keen. I really don't want to fuck it up like last time. My plan is to do what I want, say what I want, be as forward as I want and not let first meet nerves get to me. But most of all stay the FUCK out of my head.
*her phone number*. I'd like that. xx "Seems like she's keen. I really don't want to fuck it up like last time. My plan is to do what I want, say what I want, be as forward as I want and not let first meet nerves get to me. But most of all stay the FUCK out of my head.
GameplayWhore
Member
Yeah, I'm kidding about that part of it. But there seriously is a ton of negativity all over POF, from what I see. Just statement that are either off putting or offensive. To wit, a selection which represents the *majority* of summaries (not from their detailed profiles) when I click "Chemistry":
There's also a lot of texting-speak (like "u" instead of "you", and "r" instead of "are"), but maybe that just says more about me than about them.
I don't know. It just seems that people on this website are often angrily listing what they don't like about people instead of what they do like about people, which is basically what you find on okc. Maybe I just filled out the Chemistry Test questions badly, though.
How do you get this site to reflect actual interests in your searches? Is this possible? In the profiles of the few people who seem nice, there's nothing I can relate to.
^ Didn't know you used OKC, GameplayWhore... we will have to compare notes from the field sometime
I've been using OKC ever since I broke up with my last girlfriend (who I didn't meet online), but haven't had much success. I can get tons of first dates off of the site (I've literally been on dates with 5 different girls in the span of one week) but it's very rare I get a second date. I used to use Match a while back and have had several relationships come from that, so I'm wondering... do people who use both have better experiences on paysites than free sites? My friend is convinced that any girl who will pay to use a paysite is more desperate and you wouldn't want them... but I'd like to think that a girl who uses a paysite is more financially stable, isn't as flaky and knows what she wants a bit more. Some of these OKC girls I think just like to go out and aren't looking for anything serious.
I've been using OKC ever since I broke up with my last girlfriend (who I didn't meet online), but haven't had much success. I can get tons of first dates off of the site (I've literally been on dates with 5 different girls in the span of one week) but it's very rare I get a second date. I used to use Match a while back and have had several relationships come from that, so I'm wondering... do people who use both have better experiences on paysites than free sites? My friend is convinced that any girl who will pay to use a paysite is more desperate and you wouldn't want them... but I'd like to think that a girl who uses a paysite is more financially stable, isn't as flaky and knows what she wants a bit more. Some of these OKC girls I think just like to go out and aren't looking for anything serious.
OriginofHysteria
Banned
It's funny because the same girls that are like 'Not looking for a hook up or booty call, no perverted comments!' Etc. are most likely going to sleep with you by at least date 2.
GameplayWhore
Member
^ Didn't know you used OKC, GameplayWhore... we will have to compare notes from the field sometime
OKC got me my first girlfriend, the one you know.
I've found that talking to people at events that you like to be at is a more effective way of actually meeting them. I'm just sort of attracted to the fun of answering the questions and reading what people say about themselves online. I message very few girls while surfing these dating sites. okcupid is just my personal Angry Birds.
With regards to second dates, I've been playing date-tag with the ex-acrobat surfing student with the Master's Degree that I mentioned earlier. She's busy a lot, and I'm busy a lot, and so we each keep suggesting times that the other can't make. She still seems interested, though, and I think she'll be making it to that music festival out in Orient this weekend, so I guess that could be considered a second date.
edit: Also, I dig the shirt in your avatar for some reason.
I've only been on this site for almost a week, and I've gotten 43 visitors (which is encouraging). The flip side to that is, I've sent out 27 messages, but only 7 replies, only one of which has replied to me multiple times. Probably 90% of the girls I message have the "reply very selectively" icon, which pretty much means I am screwed.
This is a hard website to even get a date on! Any tips on my profile?
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/rippedsteakface
This is a hard website to even get a date on! Any tips on my profile?
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/rippedsteakface
SlipperySlope
Banned
7 replies from 27 messages is above average. Your second message sounds like it needs work. Send us an example and we'll see if we can help you with it.
Second replies should be at least 70%, and of those, 100% should close with a number.
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