why not, seems like no one wants the truth. to even find a date we all have to lie, my real profile and photo won't help me so i have to try something else.
Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
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why not, seems like no one wants the truth. to even find a date we all have to lie, my real profile and photo won't help me so i have to try something else.
that is not true, pictures can be indicative of the person.
instead of going to a date based on the looks in the pictures, try a nice harmless skype session and see what the person is really like, then make an assesment and plan a date.
I do recommend using your best pics ever, if that's what you mean.
I've found a few profiles on OKC that make me wonder "If I agreed to meet up, would I wake up in a tub of ice missing one kidney?"
There was one I saw that's a 19 year old burlesque model/performer that also works at Gamestop. Her pictures consist of both modeling pictures and regular selfshot pics. This can't possibly be real, can it?
There was one I saw that's a 19 year old burlesque model/performer that also works at Gamestop. Her pictures consist of both modeling pictures and regular selfshot pics. This can't possibly be real, can it?
BoboBrazil
Member
No, it's to trick you into sending money somewhere or using your house as a go between point to ship stolen goods.
I live close to Houston, just to clarify, so what you're saying isn't all that out of the cards. I guess burlesque model/performer/Gamestop employee seems more legit than some other ones I've seen.
AdventureRacing
Member
The girl i'm currently planning to meet up with is an attractive girl (she's 24 though) who is a huge minecraft fan. Usually once you message them a few times you can work out if they're genuine or not.
I guess so, it hasn't really been much of a question with the girls I have actually talked to on there so far. I saw one though that I label with the "sounds totally legit" thing. Her pics looked like she was an underwear model, and her profile said "My throat is really deep and I have something warm and wet. I'm new to Houston though and only wanting to keep it casual."
I'm the same way lol. I pretty much gave up on the site. I know I don't take very good pictures because I never smile. I look like one of those people in old time photos who just looks sad.
I still get the occasional message from someone who's not very attractive though and I always feel like I have to message back because I don't wanna be mean.
But you don't! Think of it this way. If you do respond and aren't actually interested, it's just going to be worse for them. Better to just ignore their initial message. I've had a couple of those and I just ignored them. Hell I had one of them try to meet up with me using the OKCupid app. I just ignored that too. The bottom line is, you shouldn't feel obligated to respond on these sites. That's something that makes it different from real life.
Women get messaged so often that it's unreal. Women hae no idea how little men get messaged and men have no idea how frequently women get messaged. I have heard some girls tell me they have gotten over 200 messages within their first hour of joining sites like pof. I'd be lucky to get 10 messages a year without messaging anyone.
Yeah, I joined OKC the same time as a female friend did. Her rate of getting messages is absolutely ridiculous compared to mine, although a good percentage of those were creepers in her opinion.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
Should I just avoid people with no picture and assume that they are human-walruses that are too obese to leave their beds? I was thinking of messaging this one girl with no picture, but the whole no picture thing worries me a bit.
BoboBrazil
Member
I had a girl message me one time on yahoo when they had personals and she didn't have a picture because she didn't want people to judge her on her looks. I was skeptical, but she was hot when we met up. Most of the time I'm going to guess it's because they are really ugly though.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
Yeah, I thought of the possibility of her being attractive, but not wanting an overwhelming amount of attention. I'll message and see how it goes.
RedAssedApe
Banned
I would say that this was more likely years back when there was a greater social stigma regarding online dating. Those that did it were looked upon as having some kind of dis-function. People didn't want other people seeing their profile and recognizing them. Kind of silly since most sites required you to have your own account to view others...its not like people are going to make fun of you or out you for something they are doing themselves.
These days I would bet that most people probably know at least one person that has tried it and even gotten a serious relationship out of it. That makes it a little easier for everyone to make the leap. I'd say its really only sort of looked down upon by immature young adults and its usually because they still have large social circles where they have a much easier time meeting new people.
Ok I kind of got off on a tangent. Anyhow...I'm going to say that if someone doesn't have a profile up in 2012, they are more than likely below average on the attractiveness scale.
JimtotheHum
Member
I would do it now. Usually, you should pull the trigger by 3 or 4 messages and finally meet the person.
Power Glove
Member
Depends. Are you on okcupid to date or just to chat? Also, 3 messages in one week? Damn, you need to set up a chat through okcupid's IM or another IM service. In 1 week or less you should have already set up a date if you live near eachother.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
While I don't think she has a Okcupid profile, I know a 23-year-old burlesque model/performer that also works at Gamestop.
We've both been busy so we haven't been on at the same times.
Mecha_Infantry
Banned
Man I need to get into the OKC game again. I've been looking but just not sending messages. I've got one messages lined up, anyone willing to get it?!
Power Glove
Member
Trade IM info or phone #'s to text eachother.
Yeah, I actually just did that. If one of the girls(not the one I was just talking about) didn't get back to my email should I text her? She gave me her number and said to text or message back, I wrote back cause, well, I was right there but haven't heard back.
Power Glove
Member
If you mean you mesgd her throuh okcupid, then yes, absolutely text her. Your messages can get lost in the other 100 she received in the past day. If you mean through an outside email address, then text her if it's been more than 3 days since you sent it.
It wasn't on OKC but another dating site. It was the one I mentioned a few pages back wondering if she was actually real(I'm 99% sure she is now from some google
I thinks it's all about finding that person that IS going to like your profile as it is now. I have a very particular personality and I know not many can mesh with it well so I make sure I represent myself in the most accurate way possible so I don't get messages from women I'm going to end up hating anyway. You know what my summary says?:
I've rewritten this about 4 times now and it always falls apart 2 sentences in. So I'll just do this:
"Excuse me. There is a sign at Ramset Park that says, Do Not Drink the Sprinkler Water, so I made some tea with it and now I have an infection."
If that doesn't make you laugh then kindly leave my profile.
That's it. That's my humor and that's what I'm like. I want a girl to accept that, not some BS I put up to seem more appealing. My "message me if" section is just the last monologue from Perfect Storm.
As for the pictures, that's where you want to be semi careful. I would even suggest hiring some photography student or a friend with a camera to help you out. Sometimes random facebook pictures don't represent you best.
I do not photograph well. i got rid of all my old photos. It is hard to write about my personality so i just list books, movies, music that i like. When i pretend to be someone else it is easy for me to envision a whole new personality and become someone i wish i could be. Then there is the whole race issue. i try to just lie about that too.
Well now I'm just curious. PM me your profile?
And I would say it's less about talking about your personality and more about representing it well enough that they have something to go off of. I came across this profile yesterday that was bland as hell. All she did was answer the questions plainly and was very "normal" about it. I had a hard time even putting together a message to send her. Had to just send her one asking what type of messages she gets because there's nothing there to go on. I was curious.
We ended up talking for a bit but it just petered off because she didn't have much to say.
Well i just answer the questions and made a list of movies, music and books i like. not sure what else is there to say about myself. seems like it better to make a fake profile so i can have something to say.
Power Glove
Member
Fake profile =fake relationships
Just talk about where you are currently in your life and what type of guy you're looking for. However, don't go overboard and make it too long.
I'm going nowhere in life and i have never dated so i dont know what kind of guy i am looking for. I doubt anyone wants to read that.
Power Glove
Member
Just put you're easy going, laid back, and new to online dating and just exploring all your options , testing the water. Looking for a guy that will show you new things and can have a good time with.
You can be creative and stretch the truth but don't flat out lie. This girl I'm going on a date with if her profile is all bullshit I'm not even going give her a chance.
Night_Trekker
Member
I fucking hate OKCupid. The pay wall at other dating sites really does... well, basically keeps people of lesser quality off of the site, as awful as that sounds. Not really so much in terms of attractiveness (though there is that, IMO), but in terms of personality and what they're looking for. You don't find as many creepers and swingers and such on pay sites.
I've heard people in larger cities tend to have better results, though.
I've heard people in larger cities tend to have better results, though.
Yea location definitely matters. I live in NY and it's relatively easy to find dates if you're persistent enough.
Notice I said "find dates" but not "get replies". The bigger city atmosphere just presents more competition so these girls are probably getting 40 - 50+ messages a day. Trying to stand out is a bit annoying. I went on a date with a girl who was just generally fun and she let me look through her inbox while we were on the date. It was crazy.
I personally hate it because it's so drastically swayed in the womens favor. I rarely get messages and I feel like I'm sitting there sending out resumes whenever I'm messaging women. So much more work on our part. I wish there was a way to balance that out but I doubt there is. I do fine (I have 3 dates setup this week) but the effort I have to put in is very discouraging. Especially when the work doesn't consistently pay off.
If it's ok can I see your profile? I'm no Timedog but maybe I can help tomorrow with it.
Night_Trekker
Member
Absolutely, man. That's one of the most frustrating things about using dating sites, in my experience.
Most women on these sites will not respond at all, even to say "no thanks." Literally more than 90% of them. Even if all they have to do is click a button that does the work for them and exists for that purpose. It's so bad, I've gotten to the point where I refuse to send out any introductory emails. I'll log on to a site about twice a month (I'm using match.com now), check out all the new profiles that have been added recently, and anyone I find attractive and remotely interesting, I send a "wink" or nudge to. (The longer you're on these sites, the less discriminating you become, too. At first I was more picky about who to attempt to contact, but now, as long as I find them attractive, I just think, "What the hell?") A lot of women won't respond to that--they want personalized emails--but I don't really know anything about them, and almost none of them will respond in any case (and I can count on one hand the number of profiles I've read that have actually interested me, honestly), so why go through the trouble of a personalized email? The wink system is there for a reason! [/rant]
I've had a couple good dates from dating sites, and I'm talking to someone now, but really... online dating is way more frustrating in some ways than "regular" dating.
BeautifulMemory
Member
IMO guys are very generous in their response rate...so you will get hits and messages. Just try it out. You wouldn't even have to embellish anything
RedAssedApe
Banned
Pretty much my experience as well. I've had this discussion with friends before. My guy friends have always favored the brute force method. Whereas my female friends have always favored tailoring your intro message to the profile (which is hard since most people's profiles are pretty lacking and uninformative). If girls really wanted you to write them something substantial they really need to write more than a few sentences to go along with their pretty pictures.
Verdict? People are fucking picky and it honesty feels like playing the lottery most of the time. Aren't we online daters supposed to be the social lepers of the world who have come to the internet as a last resort? Ok so maybe that mentality is from like a decade or more ago...haha
JumpJeff84
Member
Met my current GF (about 2 weeks now) on OKC, and she's great so far. Fun fact: On our first date she told me that she used to do porn. After trying unsuccessfully to find her 'work' online, eventually she told me her alias and I managed to track her stuff down. This was after we started seeing each other exclusively.
Funny thing was that the second I started to watch the first video of her I found, about 30 seconds in I was like 'Hey, I've seen this video before! Oh my god, I've jerked off to my girlfriend in the past, before I even met her!'
One of the most weirdly romantic things to ever happen to me.
And further to the subject, OKC can be great. I've had a few flings, met some cool people, met a 'girlfriend' or two, and even met a woman a year ago who I now count as one of my closest friends in the world.
Funny thing was that the second I started to watch the first video of her I found, about 30 seconds in I was like 'Hey, I've seen this video before! Oh my god, I've jerked off to my girlfriend in the past, before I even met her!'
One of the most weirdly romantic things to ever happen to me.
And further to the subject, OKC can be great. I've had a few flings, met some cool people, met a 'girlfriend' or two, and even met a woman a year ago who I now count as one of my closest friends in the world.
grap3fruitman
Banned
I've been on the site for a year and a half at this point and has zero luck. Even women resorting to online dating find me appalling, haha.
I'm sad now...
Perspicacity
Banned
Soooo... what's her alias?
JumpJeff84
Member
Yeah, not gonna happen.
ok this is a hot scenario so at least give more details. was it like guy girl full on porn or just lesbo or solo?
i think it would be kinda hot to find out the girl i was dating did a little porn. not a lot though. and definitely no gang bangs.
ErasureAcer
Banned
The post pictures of your gf/wife/lover thread is calling you.
JumpJeff84
Member
She did it for three years. Bit of everything. I think there's a gang bang or two there, but I'm not gonna watch that. What I saw was a couple of 'solo' scenes and a guy/girl scene.
None of it actually bothers me at all. Maybe 5 years ago it woulda, but nowadays I really could give a shit.
JumpJeff84
Member
No way!
Dude you're back.
JumpJeff84
Member
yeah, it's been awhile.
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