Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
Was doing some googling apparently narcissistic rage is a real condition and people with it have hairline triggers.
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Once a relationship gets physical what are the chances of fixing it?
- Thread starter Days like these...
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Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
Full disclosure my friend is me
mansoor1980
Gold Member
nush
Member
Yeah, no shit. Anyway DM me if you want becuase we can hash it out between us as I've been where you are and come out the other side. Its a rough ride and any normal logical advice you get from people that have not been there does not apply. It's not that they are giving bad advice but they are dealing with mostly normal emotional women and not fucking mentalists.
Doczu
Member
You don't say?...
Seriously, things must be dire if you looked for help on a gaming forum.
Take all the advice you want and need from here, but better find some professional help. Be it counseling/therapy, or legal.
There's nothing more to be said than what everyone else already posted.
I wish you good luck and hope for the best.
WhamBamThankYouMaam
Member
Any gorm of physical violence means end.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
Dealbreaker. Bail out and protect yourself. You deserve better than that.
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
I’ve never been in a romantic relationship with a narcissist, but I did have a pretty close friendship/business partnership with one several years ago. Here’s what I can guarantee:
1: they won’t get better. They won’t accept counseling because to admit they need it is akin to admitting there’s something wrong with them
2: the narcissistic rage you’re talking about is a real thing, and is going to be triggered when they suffer narcissistic injury, i.e. a bruised ego. This is why you always feel like you’re walking on egg shells around them.
3: they become master gaslighters. I know gaslighting is in vogue these days, but it’s a real, specific thing they do to keep you around after they go ballistic over some bullshit. Then all the sudden you’re feeling like their tantrum was justified when it wasn’t. Start documenting things and remind yourself that when they’ve cooled off and are lying and implying afterward that you’re being manipulated. They’re good at this.
Kids do make logistics complicated, but the abuse uncomplicates what the solution is: getting them away from it. This is a time to lean on any friends and family you may have for support to do the thing that’s right for the kids, which is ending whatever exposure they have to the abuse. If you don’t have support I’m sure people here can help figure it out too
anthony2690
Member
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
Update:
I declined to press charges but I left the house to give her time to calm down. Haven't been back since she's threatening to leave and take the children if I step foot in the house. Guess I'm going to have to show up with an officer.
I declined to press charges but I left the house to give her time to calm down. Haven't been back since she's threatening to leave and take the children if I step foot in the house. Guess I'm going to have to show up with an officer.
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
You should strongly consider lawyering up
Doczu
Member
Well, now that it looks it's going that way i also sugest you look for legal help.
From now on i advise to be extra calm around her and have at least audio recordings of every meeting.
Trunx81
Member
THIS! Immediately! I know from relationships like this where the woman tried to blame everything on the husband, even making injuries up and everything. The courts love to rule in the favor of the woman. Work fast!
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
It might be too late to do this already, but if you're experiencing domestic abuse, it's good to gather evidence such as video or audio recordings in order to bolster your case should you need to take this to the courts.
You can also take notes and write down what happened to create a factually accurate and reliable timeline. Also save your texts and communications and screenshot important excerpts that support your case.
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DevilMayFlyForAWhiteGuy
Member
I had a friend in a similar situation. His wife started cheating on him, then said she wanted a divorce. This was all while she went out and partied getting drunk at night and leaving him alone with their two kids after he worked 12 hour shifts daily.
One night after she comes home he says something about if she keeps this up she’s not going to have any custody (because she was obviously being very irresponsible). She flips out at him and starts hitting him. He runs away out of their bedroom and locks the door so she can’t chase him and calls the cops. Guess who they arrest?
That’s right they arrested him and he had a temporary restraining order put on him so he couldn’t even see his kids for a month and half, all while she used their apartment as drug party house while their kids were there. Now they’re divorced and he only sees his kids on weekends.
And I only got his side of the story of course, but I’ve known him for a long time and even saw her hit him before (while he was drunk, and he still didn’t hit her back), so I’m inclined to believe it.
One of my brother’s ex girlfriends was a total nut job and would periodically threaten to kill herself if he went out to go see his friends. A couple times she took “too many sleeping pills” and called 911 when he went to his friends’ house. One of the times he came back home and the police were there and they started interrogating him asking if he was abusing her or something similar that would lead her to attempt suicide. Luckily nothing came out of it, but after that my family had to have a intervention basically to tell him he needed to dump her or it would only get worse.
The law is not on the man’s side in situations like this and it’s really a lose lose situation if you’re in a relationship with a crazy chick.
ClanOfNone
Member
Save, document, record everything. Depending on the laws in your state, these things might not be admissible in court, but they can save your ass if she starts making accusations to the police or cps.
She sounds particularly venomous, if you able to afford an attorney you should definitely do so.
Sorry op, this is gonna be a living hell for you for a while, but it will get better. In the long run leaving is absolutely the best decision not only for you, but for the kids as well. And the kids have to come first. Always.
Don't ever shit talk her in front of the kids. While she undoubtedly will talk shit about you to them, you gotta maintain the moral high ground. The kids will remember who does.
She sounds particularly venomous, if you able to afford an attorney you should definitely do so.
Sorry op, this is gonna be a living hell for you for a while, but it will get better. In the long run leaving is absolutely the best decision not only for you, but for the kids as well. And the kids have to come first. Always.
Don't ever shit talk her in front of the kids. While she undoubtedly will talk shit about you to them, you gotta maintain the moral high ground. The kids will remember who does.
Madflavor
Member
In my opinion getting physical with your partner shouldn't end the relationship, it's how the abuser responds to their abuse. If it's a one time thing and they're horrified and disgusted by their actions, and they go to seek help, that's one thing. But if there are patterns of abuse plus a lack of empathy on their part, it's time to get the fuck out.
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
It's been a living hell for years now with the angry rants, complaints, unyielding criticism and blame for anything and everything but now it's turned physical and it's better late than never I suppose. I have texts and video of her fits of rage and I have police reports. The cop was actually on my side when he came out he threatened to haul her off because she was shouting at me and wouldn't shut up even in his presence.
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D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
It may help to make a list of reasons to stay with her and reasons to break it off. Usually the reasons to stay are either sort of a mirage, or simply an obstacle (like money for divorce or the life after) that can be overcome. But if those are the obstacles you need to overcome to protect your kids and you, yourself, lead a happy life, then it’s best to accept the task at hand and get to work right away.
ClanOfNone
Member
I don't envy what you gotta go through, but once the dust settles and a custodial agreement is in place, you'll be amazed at how much your life will improve. You've been miserable for so long that you've forgotten how to be happy, but you'll find it again.
When I was going through custody hell I was getting sober at the same time, it was a blast lemme tell ya.
When I was going through custody hell I was getting sober at the same time, it was a blast lemme tell ya.
lifa-cobex
Member
Good luck dude.
It's a world changing event for yourself but you've made the first and most difficult step.
I don't envy the journey your about to take but i'm sure me and many others will agree that you will come out far better off on the other side.
Stay strong bud.
Edit: My Dad was a huge narcissist. He beat me and my mum up on spits of rage at his worst. On good days you would just avoid him.
As a kid I didn't understand. Just the angry man I must avoid at all cost. All very confusing.
As an adult, I confronted him and he flat out dined most of it happening. It's extremely difficult to confront someone when you start believe your from a parallel world.
I don't know how your kids will react but i'm sure as they grow, they will see the shit that went on.
It's a world changing event for yourself but you've made the first and most difficult step.
I don't envy the journey your about to take but i'm sure me and many others will agree that you will come out far better off on the other side.
Stay strong bud.
Edit: My Dad was a huge narcissist. He beat me and my mum up on spits of rage at his worst. On good days you would just avoid him.
As a kid I didn't understand. Just the angry man I must avoid at all cost. All very confusing.
As an adult, I confronted him and he flat out dined most of it happening. It's extremely difficult to confront someone when you start believe your from a parallel world.
I don't know how your kids will react but i'm sure as they grow, they will see the shit that went on.
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nush
Member
My dad was abusive under the guise of "Discipline" he genuinely thought that as an adult I'd completely forget about beatings that he did to me when I was under ten.
lifa-cobex
Member
It's fucked how some peoples logic work.
Putonahappyface
Member
As someone who has CPTSD from years of witnessing domestic violence as a child, please get your children the fuck out of there, away from there mother until she can get some therapy! Once they start hiting it's a case of when not if the next punch is coming!
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Putonahappyface
Member
Please tell me you returned the favour? My mum wouldn't let my dad discipline me because it would've meant the belt. I got smacks on the arse as a child but nothing else.
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
Thanks for the encouragement sorry you went through that. I've learned that confrontation with narcissists is not a good idea you can't even reason with them when they're relatively calm because they will deny, dismiss, invalidate, blame and or drag you into an argument about something else or worse they fly into narcissistic rage.
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Power Pro
Member
Damn it, you beat me to it.
nush
Member
He was lucky to have read the room when I was 19. My fist was all coild up just waiting for him to jab his finger in my shoulder like he always did, before I delivered a deserved right hook. He saw the fire was about to come and backed down. He never gave me any shit like that again, still get the occasional bitchy snide comments though.
Mistake
Member
My mother dated a guy like that. He stopped after I hit him with a pool stick down a flight of stairs
Apocryphon
Member
I don’t have any advice. I just wanted to say GAFs got you bru 