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[ReturnOfTheRAT]

The ladies on Match are a tough bunch in the past week. I've written messages that key in on something they list in their profile and try and pull off a sly ending sentence that gauges their interest in meeting up sometime for some that they have in their profile as a fun activity. I can't even get a profile view out of it. I'm in the tier that can see the message were read though.

 

[Big Papa Husker]

The ladies on Match are a tough bunch in the past week. I've written messages that key in on something they list in their profile and try and pull off a sly ending sentence that gauges their interest in meeting up sometime for some that they have in their profile as a fun activity. I can't even get a profile view out of it. I'm in the tier that can see the message were read though.

Heh, same with me. I've sent a bunch of messages in the last month and haven't really had any replies.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Funny note. I sent this message and the lady deactivated her account soon after. Either that same night or in the morning.

My name is .... and your profile has caught my attention. The first thing I noticed was your smirk, it's a creative smile after all, and that yes you have brown eyes. The bit about serial daters stands out too. What you said is honest and respectable. The pool is muddied when the intention is to get many dates and in some cases turn it into a blog to shame people. That's not cool and very shady.

With that out of the way, want to trade numbers?

I'm just kidding

I also actually noticed we had some things in common. I really enjoy going out to the movies, though I haven't had a chance to experience a luxury theater yet. We share a common liking of wine tasting (no better place than the Bay Area imo) for that. So many wineries and festivals to choose from. When I'm not with family or working, I enjoy going for walks too. Someone needs to teach me how to hike. Either way there's nothing better than some fresh air and sun on the skin. Thankfully the weather had gotten decidedly better for that.

And I wanted to go back to your affection for dogs. I've always wanted to British boxer, but recently encountered a greyhound at work who's absolutely adorable. What's your preference?

Oh Online Dating, how I hate you.

 

[Gray Matter]

Came across this profile on OKC that explicitly says looking for a "fling", also says in a commited but non-monogamous relationship.

Seems too good to be true. I wouldn't know how to proceed anyway, just find it a bit strange.

 

[Fantastical]

WOAH I have a date on Thursday... and I've never been on a date before. O_O

 

[GK86]

WOAH I have a date on Thursday... and I've never been on a date before. O_O

Take a deep breathe and don't let any awkward silences faze you. Bound to happen.

When in doubt, ask them a question about themselves, people love to talk about themselves.

Good luck!

 

[ant_]

I've really only used Tinder and have a pretty good response rate with my one liners and on-the-fly jokes. I've tried carrying this attitude/style over to OK Cupid but have had absolutely no luck.

What works?

 

[ATF487]

Tall, scruffy beard, nice smile? How do you NOT have a girlfriend?

I'm a terrible, terrible person.

Spoiler

appreciate the comments though, lads

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

You're a fucking asshole, you know that?

I know.

She actually responded and asked me what fictional character I had a crush on as a kid .

 

[Symphonia]

Funny note. I sent this message and the lady deactivated her account soon after. Either that same night or in the morning.

Oh Online Dating, how I hate you.

I honestly don't know what you were expecting.

 

[Mr Solo Dolo]

Yeah that's way over the top for an opening message.

 

[Valus]

It felt a little robotic to me. Do people really say "Your .... has caught my attention" in RL? Something about the whole message seems off. It doesn't feel natural.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

I've really only used Tinder and have a pretty good response rate with my one liners and on-the-fly jokes. I've tried carrying this attitude/style over to OK Cupid but have had absolutely no luck.

What works?

You probably need more substance for OKC. With TInder it's just a picture and message, and conversations usually happen pretty fast so you can set up something pretty quickly. With OKC people will usually read your profile first before responding and they're not always on it.

 

[stn]

@ReturnoftheRat

That message was wayyyyyy too involving, it makes it look like you were very intense about meeting her and that you already formed a really strong connection in your head. Keep it simple. Either make a funny comment about something in her profile or do that in conjunction with making an observation about her profile. Don't go into a whole "life story" thing like you did, just keep it relaxed.

 

[Rest]

OKC has had some changes of the months, can you send pictures to people at this time?

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

The first part of that message is pretty much a joke. I guess you're all saying it's too long winded and should have been excised completely. Now I thought the second half was good, but you're also telling me that it should have been half as long and possibly focused on one thing instead. That's manageable.

 

[Symphonia]

Just keep it to a few short, sweet sentences.

 

[User 479360]

If anyone wants to check out my profile, just let me know. Just don't come at me when you go blind or your monitor breaks, k.

 

[ant_]

Thanks for the tips on messages, guys.

Can anyone give my profile a look through and tell me what you think? I have it open to OKC members, let me know if I need to loosen permissions.

Quote to reveal.

 

[User 479360]

How do you do the quote to reveal formatting?

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Wish I had better pictures. Anyway, I wouldn't mind some feedback either, as things just ended with the girl I was seeing for a little under two months.

Quote to reveal.

 

[Gray Matter]

Wish I had better pictures. Anyway, I wouldn't mind some feedback either, as things just ended with the girl I was seeing for a little under two months.

Quote to reveal.

Your profile is great.

 

[GK86]

How do you do the quote to reveal formatting?

Use the email tags.


This you leave blank. [/ema il]

 

[False Witness]

How do you do the quote to reveal formatting?

You just put your link or really any text between two quotation marks within the [.email=" This is where you would put whatever you want "][/email] brackets. Just take away the period in the first bracket.

If you quote this, you'll see an example below.

Here

 

[Jhoan]

Thanks for the tips on messages, guys.

Can anyone give my profile a look through and tell me what you think? I have it open to OKC members, let me know if I need to loosen permissions.

Quote to reveal.

I'm using a fake profile to look at your stuff as a disclaimer since I deactivated my profile. Your pictures look fantastic. I really like the long shot ones.

As for your profile, it's all right as a as a whole but it's your pictures that are going to be your selling point. My one recommendation would be to elaborate on what you're looking for in the thinking about section. What do you mean by a "normal" person? I kinda get what you're saying (you've probably gone out with quirky girls) but it might ruffle some feathers.

Otherwise, I would recommend changing it to something absurd/funny such as Why boob physics in video games are incredibly ridiculous as an example that fits in line with you.

Wish I had better pictures. Anyway, I wouldn't mind some feedback either, as things just ended with the girl I was seeing for a little under two months.

Quote to reveal.

Your profile is pretty damn solid and witty and says a lot about you. Your pictures are also great.

It sounds like you know what you want which should attract women that are on that are on that same level as well.

As a general thing, I personally don't believe in a profile that is either too short or too long since it's subjective so long as one's personality shines through. To go back to what False Witness said about "breaking GAF's rules" and making his profile super detailed (FYI False Witness, you're not below average; some of you guys really downplay your looks in this thread), guess what guys? There are no rules. That's my two cents on online dating profiles.

 

[ant_]

I'm using a fake profile to look at your stuff as a disclaimer since I deactivated my profile. Your pictures look fantastic. I really like the long shot ones.

As for your profile, it's all right as a as a whole but it's your pictures that are going to be your selling point. My one recommendation would be to elaborate on what you're looking for in the thinking about section. What do you mean by a "normal" person? I kinda get what you're saying (you've probably gone out with quirky girls) but it might ruffle some feathers.

Otherwise, I would recommend changing it to something absurd/funny such as Why boob physics in video games are incredibly ridiculous as an example that fits in line with you.

Thanks man. I'll take this feedback and change up my profile this weekend.

 

[User 479360]

Thanks

Quote to reveal:

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Thanks

Quote to reveal:

Okay, here's my initial hot take:

• You need more pictures. The first one is fine; I'm not in love with the mirror selfie, as it doesn't flatter you.
• Your self-summary is on the longer side, as well as utterly misogynistic. Not every guy looks for one night stands, and plenty of thoughtful, courteous, and understanding girls know that too.
• Fill in your "I'm looking for" and "My details" choices. People do care about height, smoking status, etc. Also, are you really looking for girls aged 19-34? You're 27 -- looking for 19 year olds seems creepy. (I suspect you just may not have updated your settings, though.)
• You don't need your "Note" in the self-summary.
• Just drop your "typical Friday night" section. No one has a good answer for this.
• Rework your "you should message me if" section as well. All of that's implied; it doesn't really need to be stated. Take a look at my profile for an approach that I shamelessly stole (but also reworked).

 

[User 479360]

Okay, here's my initial hot take:

• You need more pictures. The first one is fine; I'm not in love with the mirror selfie, as it doesn't flatter you.
• Your self-summary is on the longer side, as well as utterly misogynistic. Not every guy looks for one night stands, and plenty of thoughtful, courteous, and understanding girls know that too.
• Fill in your "I'm looking for" and "My details" choices. People do care about height, smoking status, etc. Also, are you really looking for girls aged 19-34? You're 27 -- looking for 19 year olds seems creepy. (I suspect you just may not have updated your settings, though.)
• You don't need your "Note" in the self-summary.
• Just drop your "typical Friday night" section. No one has a good answer for this.
• Rework your "you should message me if" section as well. All of that's implied; it doesn't really need to be stated. Take a look at my profile for an approach that I shamelessly stole (but also reworked).

But the mirror picture is the only picture I've taken that I've actually liked in...years. The black and white one is from 2006.

^ He says as he gets to work on the fixes.

EDIT: You know, I never noticed or paid much attention to the details section and, for the life of me, I have no idea why.

How does it look now?

 

[Lulubop]

Here's my profile since everyone is doing it http://www.okcupid.com/profile/DraftbeerPapi


Honestly I do preeeetty well but even more honest I'm often times intimidated to write to super attractive girls I've matched up with. This is especially true on Tinder. NYC just got to many good looking dudes.

I went on a date tonight with a girl I saw briefly two Saturdays ago. schedules have been conflicting but tonight worked out. she's pretty hot, I honestly thought I was in there but I guess not tho she def wanna hang again. im also kinda drunk =)

Also most of my pics are kinda ass

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Here's my profile since everyone is doing it http://www.okcupid.com/profile/DraftbeerPapi


Honestly I do preeeetty well but even more honest I'm often times intimidated to write to super attractive girls I've matched up with. This is especially true on Tinder. NYC just got to many good looking dudes.

I went on a date tonight with a girl I saw briefly two Saturdays ago. schedules have been conflicting but tonight worked out. she's pretty hot, I honestly thought I was in there but I guess not tho she def wanna hang again. im also kinda drunk =)

Also most of my pics are kinda ass

You're more of a match than most girls in my city (DC). I'd buy you a beer. I also do pretty well for myself, but I feel like I've read the same profile countless times ("I'm a down to earth girl who likes yoga, Netflix, and my friends! Also, brunch!") and I'm just feeling fatigued at the samey-ness. Anyway, your profile's solid: hell, the only thing I'd revise is some of the grammar, but it's catchy nonetheless.

I would also watch the Pokemon movie where Ash turns to stone.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I opened an OKC account after a long, long time.

I'm not trying to date anyone, just make some new friends. I've wound up basically firing off novel, movie, and Hannibal recommendations to like 60% of the girls I've messaged and sent genuine questions that may seem like snarky commentary to the rest.

I'm not proud of myself. I've clicked through a lot of profiles, but if I couldn't think of a genuine question to ask, or something amusing to say, I don't even bother firing a message. Lots of people say they don't want a "Hi" sort of message.

Lulubop's profile seems pretty decent.


I'm picking random places around the world and just messaging people. A few in Australia, a few in the UK, San Francisco, Vancouver... There's a lot of places in the world to type into this search bar.

 

[y2dvd]

After over half a year in a toxic relationship that officially ended yesterday, I'm back on the market. I got a date tonight from someone on okc and another tomorrow from Tinder. Not looking to do the dating grind but that's how the game works I guess.

My profile is short and I can't say it works for me that much, but the date night commented on how I like Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and it went from there. The one from Tinder had a profile of her hugging a dog and I said she was choking it to death. She laughed and it went from there. Hopefully I can maintain my wits in person. D:

 

[War Peaceman]

Thanks

Quote to reveal:

Your profile PIC is way too dark. It oa really offputtinf, like when you walk into a shop that's dimly lit and feel very uncomfortable. You've nothing to hide visually so brighten it up. Combined with the faintly passive aggressive profile it really comes off badly. Be more positive!
Feel free to rate my profile.

 

[Woody Invincible]

Funny note. I sent this message and the lady deactivated her account soon after. Either that same night or in the morning.

Lots and lots of stuff.

Oh Online Dating, how I hate you.

Holy shit, even I'm creeped out.

 

[War Peaceman]

Holy shit, even I'm creeped out.

No kidding
I don't understand why you'd send essays. A small comment: "good to see an xyz fan on here, don't see that enough" plus a question seems right.

 

[Valus]

Since everyone is posting their profiles, here's mine. Going to be updating some information on it since some of it is outdated, but in general what do you think? Quote to reveal.



In other news my date is still on for this Saturday as far as I know. She doesn't respond to my texts as often as I'd like, but there's not much I can do about that. I think I'll ask her about it when I see her again, maybe she prefers talking versus texting or just doesn't care for phone conversations in general.

 

[Big Papa Husker]

Since everyone is posting profiles, could I get some eyes on mine? Don't really want to post it in the thread. If you are willing to take a look, please send me a pm.

 

[megamerican]

Since everyone is posting their profiles, here's mine. Going to be updating some information on it since some of it is outdated, but in general what do you think? Quote to reveal.



In other news my date is still on for this Saturday as far as I know. She doesn't respond to my texts as often as I'd like, but there's not much I can do about that. I think I'll ask her about it when I see her again, maybe she prefers talking versus texting or just doesn't care for phone conversations in general.

I think it looks pretty good. Maybe just lose the Friday night section.

 

[AcridMeat]

Checked out a handful of profiles, look good to me. Mine is strange and a mess frankly, but in a way it's helpful for weeding out people. Those I have met through OKC have all gone well, even if it doesn't lead anywhere.

According to OKC Advocatus Diaboli and I would be best bros.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Some backstory. I had set my Match account to be invisible. Essentially deactivating it without completely cancelling my sub. I had been set up with a friend of a coworker in real life the first Monday of April. Things were fine until the fade took hold at the end of May. Two Saturday's ago, someone I had previously sent a message to before I deactivated my account, saw that I had triumpanthly returned and sent me a Saturday morning message among the lines of "wanna go out tonight?" At this point I was days away from deleted the IRL womans # from my phone, so I responded with, "I appreciate the offer and would have to get back to her."

When I knew the IRL lady was completely uninterested (a week ago Wednesday) I went ahead and deleted her # from my phone. I said what the hell, and sent my number to the woman who inquired about my availability. I gave her my number which is from Google Voice, it's what I use for personal communication, and then the below happened last night. This is our correspondence a week after I gave her my number.

Mind you, it was late, I have had the NBA finals on my mind and she's in Oakland.

Below is what happened.:

**Bottom half of the image is last night. Top half is this morning.**

I'll see if she calls, because if that's the way she texts, for being a MATURE 31 year old, this will be a doozy. I'll take the blame for texting her not once, but twice, but all of what she did? HAHAH

 

[AcridMeat]

Should have just gone out with her when she asked imo. Very strange message pattern, I don't even know what she's trying to say given it doesn't look like you sent any messages?

I got super scared thinking I had a date during the finals game. But the game is tonight, we're going out tomorrow night. Phew.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Below is what happened.:

**Bottom half of the image is last night. Top half is this morning.**

I'll see if she calls, because if that's the way she texts, for being a MATURE 31 year old, this will be a doozy. I'll take the blame for texting her not once, but twice, but all of what she did? HAHAH

I read this three times and I still don't know what happened.

Much like David Lee, she is not the solution to whatever problem you're having.

 

[AcridMeat]

Much like David Lee, she is not the solution to whatever problem you're having.

LIES ;~;

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

I read this three times and I still don't know what happened.

Much like David Lee, she is not the solution to whatever problem you're having.

Shit man, I don't want to go on a summer based sporting news blackout if Lebron wins a ring.

In an effort to make it clear, her text was the one wishing me goodnight, completely out of the blue last night. I misinterpreted the sweeping sleeping bit for being basketball related and responded twice. This morning she flooded my phone with those texts.

I'm going about my business. If she calls, lol. If not those texts from her speak volumes.

 

[turtle553]

Shit man, I don't want to go on a summer based sporting news blackout if Lebron wins a ring.

In an effort to make it clear, her text was the one wishing me goodnight, completely out of the blue last night. I misinterpreted the sweeping sleeping bit for being basketball related and responded twice. This morning she flooded my phone with those texts.

Your first text saying goodnight less than ten minutes later was fine. The second one clarifying half an hour later was a mistake. Live and learn.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Your first text saying goodnight less than ten minutes later was fine. The second one clarifying half an hour later was a mistake. Live and learn.

Yeah, I know.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Your first text saying goodnight less than ten minutes later was fine. The second one clarifying half an hour later was a mistake. Live and learn.

I mean, I get this, but I have Do Not Disturb mode active on my phone from 10pm-7am. Or I could manually mute it. Let's just put it this way: someone who (1) doesn't know how to mute their phone and (2) makes a huge deal about it the next morning for one innocuous text should be ringing alarm bells.

Her stock is dropping faster than Draymond Green's.

Spoiler

Sorry

.

 

[AcridMeat]

I mean, I get this, but I have Do Not Disturb mode active on my phone from 10pm-7am. Or I could manually mute it. Let's just put it this way: someone who (1) doesn't know how to mute their phone and (2) makes a huge deal about it the next morning for one innocuous text should be ringing alarm bells.

Her stock is dropping faster than Draymond Green's.

Spoiler

Sorry

.

That's it we can't be bros.

I agree though, after that exchange it's pretty alarming.

I matched with someone on tinder who checks every box in terms of my ideal "type". I sent a message after coming up blank for a while and saw they responded today. Too nervous to check atm haha

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

I mean, I get this, but I have Do Not Disturb mode active on my phone from 10pm-7am. Or I could manually mute it. Let's just put it this way: someone who (1) doesn't know how to mute their phone and (2) makes a huge deal about it the next morning for one innocuous text should be ringing alarm bells.

Her stock is dropping faster than Draymond Green's.

Spoiler

Sorry

.

You're killing me. This is a fun discussion. I hope the rest of you are enjoying it too.

When I read her messages I wondered how loud he phone must be for text alerts. I have the same mode on the OnePlus to have quiet hours. I mean come on, is iOS (based one the phone in her pics) that lacking?

That's it we can't be bros.

I agree though, after that exchange it's pretty alarming.

I matched with someone on tinder who checks every box in terms of my ideal "type". I sent a message after coming up blank for a while and saw they responded today. Too nervous to check atm haha

Go ahead and read the message.