I tend to be more attracted to, and more likely to message, those who have clearly put some time and effort into setting up their profile. It also gives me plenty of opportunity to find something to talk about when it comes to sending that first message. There's nothing worse than clicking a profile and finding it empty, or with the bare minimum on there. I'd go as far to say that it's a turn off.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
i dont even know why that would be true, but i don't think so, no
Yeah, I think online dating has got me jaded and even little feelings of a fade have usually turned out true. This girl was even was talking about things we could do next time, but I'm well aware that doesn't really mean too much in the long run.
Close up facial shots are only bad if that's all you have (which is true for both men and women, women just tend to be able to get away with it more). Your pictures look good to me :3
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
I was helping Huskers with his profile, and decided to check my messages real quick to clear out the red button (it makes my not-OCD freak out), and saw this gem of a message:
I don't even know.
he's telling you: Go, play xbox one, you are free to do so now that you have understood his introductory prose
I was helping Huskers with his profile, and decided to check my messages real quick to clear out the red button (it makes my not-OCD freak out), and saw this gem of a message:
I don't even know.
The question is - did you reply back? Need to know if that line works...for research purposes.
Fantastical
Death Prophet
Just joined OK Cupid (gay). Why are out of state guys messaging me? :S I mean our conversations are going no where, and I'm not up for some long distance thing and even less interested in some sexting thing.
Also I think I'm trying to be too funny in my explanations to questions.
Also I think I'm trying to be too funny in my explanations to questions.
Just joined OK Cupid (gay). Why are out of state guys messaging me? :S I mean our conversations are going no where, and I'm not up for some long distance thing and even less interested in some sexting thing.
Also I think I'm trying to be too funny in my explanations to questions.
Welcome to the world of online dating! Where the girls get messages from anyone and everyone, while the guys get messages from girls in the Philippines looking for a green card. If you're a girl on OKCupid, get ready to ignore an awful lot of people...
I had a load of out of country people message me. Like, out of region MIGHT be fine, but I ain't flying somewhere for a date. Fuck that.
Big Papa Husker
Member
I can't believe how many profiles I see that is in text speak. Pretty much a pass if I see that in a profile or a message.
What's a good line for asking out someone you talked to a while ago on tinder but nothing ever happened with? I mean I have been active so I can't say I haven't been online. Just ask without any excuses? Reason is my pool is drying up and she was kinda cute, lol. Kinda like "This is a bit out of the blue but do you want to grab coffee?" ?
Tried to ask her out this week. No response. The fade again.
I hate when I'm right about these things.
Was just going through Quickmatch when I saw a group photo that included my housemate's ex. I did a double take but it turned out the profile was actually for one of her friends, who I've met before (albeit briefly).
Even though she's in a different town and I'd prefer someone closer, we have a really high match % and very similar interests. I'm just not sure it wouldn't be weird for me to approach her given who we know and everything. It's not like my housemate and his ex are on bad terms (they're actually still friends), but... I dunno. If I was to message her, any advice on how to approach this? I doubt she would remember meeting me, mind, it was last year and for maybe one day at a convention.
Even though she's in a different town and I'd prefer someone closer, we have a really high match % and very similar interests. I'm just not sure it wouldn't be weird for me to approach her given who we know and everything. It's not like my housemate and his ex are on bad terms (they're actually still friends), but... I dunno. If I was to message her, any advice on how to approach this? I doubt she would remember meeting me, mind, it was last year and for maybe one day at a convention.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
if you think it is in your favor to be associated with her or your housemate as far as establishing the relationship goes, just say "hey i noticed you were in a picture with ___" and explain the connection that way.
otherwise if you dont think thats beneficial then dont say that.
twinturbo2
butthurt Heat fan
I found a girl with a 90 percent match, I send a message, and she gives me a look at my profile and no response.
Story of my life.
(I still haven't updated my profile, just added some pictures, and I really need to do that, but maybe this isn't for me...)
Story of my life.
(I still haven't updated my profile, just added some pictures, and I really need to do that, but maybe this isn't for me...)
................................................
twinturbo2
butthurt Heat fan
I haven't had the time to do so, man.
But you can't really question or complain about her not messaging you when have nothing on your profile.
twinturbo2
butthurt Heat fan
I do have something on my profile, I just need to work on it a bit.
But my question is, is working on it going to get me over the hump, or is it going to be an endless cycle of work on it, try again, get frustrated, repeat?
It's not guaranteed to get you over the hump completely, but it will give you a push in the right direction. Girls (and guys) like it when potential matches have a profile with a bit of weight to it. It gives them something to go by.
twinturbo2
butthurt Heat fan
I just don't want to constantly have to rework my profile over and over and over again, that's my worry. I did get some good advice, and I will act on it, but I just don't want this to be an eternal problem.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
im not sure what you're expecting to gain if you dont want to put the work in.
the profile is the easiest part of this whole ordeal...
As Dave rightly said, you can't honestly go in to this expecting to get something out if you're not prepared to make an effort. Would you go on a date without cleaning yourself up and dressing appropriately? No, you wouldn't, or I at least hope you wouldn't. Your bio is the virtual equivalent of this, and your profile is, well, you. You need to dress yourself (your profile) up by putting on some nice clothes, wearing nice cologne, etc (your bio). Your profile is other people's way of forming a first impression of you. If you can't be bothered to put in time and effort in to your bio, why should they put time and effort into messaging you?
Lone_Prodigy
Member
A profile can never be "done", "completed", or "perfect". It's just like real life: people should always be striving to get better. So yes, your profile could probably be a perpetual work in progress, but at least get it to a point where you are at least relatively satisfied with it.
BIGWORM
Member
I don't know if this is an intended typo or what...
BIGWORM
Member
Tall, scruffy beard, nice smile? How do you NOT have a girlfriend?
False Witness
Member
There isn't a GAFfer that I've seen that I wouldn't trade looks with almost immediately.
Although, looks really aren't my main concern. I actually think being below average looking has helped me out online. I'm just really lazy and a homebody. I have a bad habit of turning people down because I just want to stay inside.
Although, looks really aren't my main concern. I actually think being below average looking has helped me out online. I'm just really lazy and a homebody. I have a bad habit of turning people down because I just want to stay inside.
User 479360
Banned
User 479360
Banned
I'm too shy
False Witness
Member
Fair enough.
This profile breaks just about every rule you see posted here... and I'm about to leave to go meet up with someone right now.
This profile breaks just about every rule you see posted here... and I'm about to leave to go meet up with someone right now.
BIGWORM
Member
Briefly looked over your profile and I see no problems with the pic (assuming it's the default one?)
Plus we're an 89% match ;o
BIGWORM
Member
Oh you're just begging for an avatar quote.
I deactivated mine recently, though not deleted it. If I ever reactivate it, I'll post it here.
Even though I just quoted it, I'll look at it when I get home from work (this is kind of a reminder to myself lol)
Sure, I'll do that when I get home too (I have a thing against getting on OKC when at work lol). Granted, I'm not actually using mine (I just keep it active so I can look at others' profiles here :3) so my profile isn't quite up to date, but whateves :3 It'd probably be cool for GAFfers to compare each other's profiles and whatnot.
Do you mean that you have girls chatting you up, but you don't feel like going out on a date with them because you wanna stay home? Or do you mean that you do that with friends? Because there's a very big difference there.
Welp, I'm back from my 2-week vacation. I was in another country without service so we used WhatsApp to text every now and then. I ended up sending her a postcard, and ordered some sunflowers on her first day of summer school wishing her good luck. She liked both a lot from what it seems.
The spark did not fizz away for me, I definitely want to see her. I asked to see her last weekend when I got back, but she said she was busy and "maybe" she can see me this week. I pretty much took that as her losing interest, but to my surprise she messaged me yesterday apologizing for not communicating with me more and asked if I'm free this weekend. We're going to meet up this Saturday morning to go hiking!
BIGWORM
Member
Now the question is: Do you tell her husband?
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Had a peep at you two.
You have very similar profiles. I've said before that I dislike essay style profiles (maybe reflecting that I have to write so many damn essays), but some people really like them. They do give a good reflection of you being a real person rather than a facade.
Also, false witness you are a handsome dude. Both of you are actually. You both look bulky, Though bigworm I think you need a picture of you doing something if you get my drift
Feel free to critique me, Im the British guy with the burger
False Witness
Member
So... I just realized that I only said six words in total to the girl I spent 12 hours with last night. "What are you watching?" when I first got there and then "See ya." when I was leaving. Of course, it wasn't really a 'date,' so I guess it doesn't matter all that much.
Most of my communication with the people I see is done via some sort of writing, usually texting. I am damn near silent except when playing online games with fellow gaffers.
Both, actually. I mean, I have a really bad habit of turning down even girls that I've been seeing for a while.
Honestly, my biggest relationship problem is definitely a lack of effort on my part. I'm charming enough to get people to talk to me, but I'm kind of overly timid and sort of give up everything before really trying. I'm a little too go with the flow.
Heh, I just realized that every single one of my pictures is a mirror selfie. Bulky... yeah... that's what I'm going to use from now on. The bad part about me finally losing weight is that I'm still going to be stuck with a deep chest and broad shoulders. My family is full of tall, wide men. Too bad I didn't really inherit the height, so I'll always kind of have that stocky look.
See, it's kind of hard for me to give a critique because we are fans of different profile styles. I think it's somewhat difficult to give off a sense of self in the shorter profiles because it's very much a basic list of what you do, not who you are. Then again, mine still suffers from this and it's several pages long.
If anything, I'd pump up the what you're doing with your life section a little more. Kind of give a hint of what you're into or what's going on with you at the moment. You don't have to be detailed, but it gives other people something to work off of.
That burger you have looks delicious though.
Most of my communication with the people I see is done via some sort of writing, usually texting. I am damn near silent except when playing online games with fellow gaffers.
Both, actually. I mean, I have a really bad habit of turning down even girls that I've been seeing for a while.
Honestly, my biggest relationship problem is definitely a lack of effort on my part. I'm charming enough to get people to talk to me, but I'm kind of overly timid and sort of give up everything before really trying. I'm a little too go with the flow.
Heh, I just realized that every single one of my pictures is a mirror selfie. Bulky... yeah... that's what I'm going to use from now on. The bad part about me finally losing weight is that I'm still going to be stuck with a deep chest and broad shoulders. My family is full of tall, wide men. Too bad I didn't really inherit the height, so I'll always kind of have that stocky look.
See, it's kind of hard for me to give a critique because we are fans of different profile styles. I think it's somewhat difficult to give off a sense of self in the shorter profiles because it's very much a basic list of what you do, not who you are. Then again, mine still suffers from this and it's several pages long.
If anything, I'd pump up the what you're doing with your life section a little more. Kind of give a hint of what you're into or what's going on with you at the moment. You don't have to be detailed, but it gives other people something to work off of.
That burger you have looks delicious though.
DeathoftheEndless
Crashing this plane... with no survivors!
A girl got pissed at me for saying the movie Hausu is weird...lol
BIGWORM
Member
You're a fucking asshole, you know that?
paparazzo
Member
Haha, nah. It's hardly an indicator of anything, and it definitely seemed like she made the account some time ago. It's entirely possible she got a random POF email saying: "Meet The Skater" as we have similar personalities, and clicked on it for kicks. Though, I do find it kinda weird that she didn't disable the account by now.