A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Today I had the weird experience of finding someone on OkCupid who thinks and talks so similar to me I was turned off by the idea of dating myself.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
User 479360
Banned
twinturbo2
butthurt Heat fan
I reactivated my OKCupid account. Nothing is going on so I'm going to try again for now.
twinturbo2
butthurt Heat fan
Admiral Woofington
Member
All right I'll be creating my first online dating profile soonish. For those with experience in okcupid how likely is it to find somebody who is looking for a long distance relationship and isn't just dating for fun?
I mean answer seems obvious for other sites like match no clue for OKC
I'll be checking the thread and the OP for good advice.
I mean answer seems obvious for other sites like match no clue for OKC
I'll be checking the thread and the OP for good advice.
Admiral Woofington
Member
Oh shit hahahahahaha
Sorry Freudian slip due to the thread going on in OT side about it.
I meant to say long lasting, aka a serious relationship vs just dating a bunch of people and "having fun"
Sorry Freudian slip due to the thread going on in OT side about it.
I meant to say long lasting, aka a serious relationship vs just dating a bunch of people and "having fun"
DoktorEvil
Banned
Would having headshots for an Online Dating profile be a bit much?
I have a friend who's becoming a professional photographer and he offered to take some high quality photos for me gratis.
I told him it couldn't be behind an ugly stock background though, so off to Central Park we'll be going.
I have a friend who's becoming a professional photographer and he offered to take some high quality photos for me gratis.
I told him it couldn't be behind an ugly stock background though, so off to Central Park we'll be going.
I think that's fine. Plenty of girls have them.
Don't forget though that men are judged much more harshly on their pictures than women--after all, they're the ones that typically have to impress, women tend to get attention by just having a profile.
DoktorEvil - A headshot is fine, but do try to also to have a (mostly) full body shot, and maybe a picture with friends/doing something/with a pet, if possible. Obviously I don't mean this for the professional shooting, but it's a general rule to go by.
Admiral Woofington
Member
I have a pic carrying my dog that isn't terribly old (like 1 or 2 months at most). Nice to know
DoktorEvil
Banned
I have quite a few, including one with 2 dogs and one of me boxing, but I need something that's a draw. I think a great headshot/bodyshot under the guide of a photographer with a HDR would benefit my profile significantly.
Yes, pet pictures are super great <3 (and makes sure to stop those that hate your choice of pet/are allergic from messaging you)
Yeah, that sounds like a great idea! :3 Good luck with the shoot!
Aw, I think pics with animals are cute
But then again I love animals.Yeah, I suppose I could see it as a YMMV scenario there
Admiral Woofington
Member
I guess I'll go with the best of both worlds and add one with friends/in a social setting and another with my dog. The issue is my dog is horrible at pictures unless I carry him. So I guess it'd be a bit like a try hard, since I do gotta try hard haha
My biggest concern with having a pet is that spending the night at another's place is not an option since my dog is my priority and I live alone
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Sometimes I think people are too harsh with the double standards. Like, "if every girl expects more than 'hi' then I'm not responding to a girl that messages me 'hi'." Or "this girl has zero interesting pictures when I'm expected to have professional-quality ones, not going to bother."
My ex had a very mundane profile with one picture. I still ended up dating her.
Yes, sometimes a profile and texting behaviour are indicative of one's personality, but it's not a hard and fast rule.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
The next time I see a woman who in her profile says she's a "deeper thinker" I'm going to assume she's egotistical and full of shit. I feel like anyone who puts that isn't likely to be as smart as they think.
Wow you sound like a fun person. Why do you think that?
How negative.
DoktorEvil
Banned
Do you not see the opportunity to message her and call her out on it?
Could end up turning into a date...
Just a thought.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
That never works out from my experience. I got taken to task for it here.
It's online dating. Hard to feel positive about it.
Understandable, but you're gonna have to at least try to be, or else you're setting yourself up for failure.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Agreed.
I'm going to hold off on messaging until I take some better pictures. That's the weakest part of my profile right now and it's the most important!
velociraptor
Junior Member
So I was talking to a girl and then asked her to send me pics.
She doesn't look that bad or anything, but she's not my type.
What is a nice way to tell someone 'I'm not attracted to you?'
She doesn't look that bad or anything, but she's not my type.
What is a nice way to tell someone 'I'm not attracted to you?'
shanafan
Member
Honesty, and I know this is bad, just stop talking to her. Girls play this card when they are not interested in a guy, so it is a play and I really don't see anything wrong with it.
On the other hand, if you tried to take the high road and be honest, you could wind up like this guy: http://i100.independent.co.uk/artic...date-said-she-was-too-fat-to-love--WJCHq7ctfl
Honesty isn't always the best policy since you could get publicly shamed, no matter if you had good intentions or not.
Be positive! There is always so much potential in online dating. I remember getting new matches often and talking with new girls all the time. You just have to have the mindset that some dates just won't work out. That is very natural, and happens to everyone. You just have to think about and get excited about the next matches to come along. Maybe it can be discouraging at times, but never let that affect your attitude.
just don't talk to them again. That's what I do.
Admiral Woofington
Member
Created profile today. Only have basic picture right now, will likely have to add another one later. I'll be with my dog at the park at one point, so might as well take an updated picture.
I've realized that unfortunately the ladies that are appearing in my highest matches aren't necessarily attractive on the first pass, and those that are sound WAY too extroverted for a laid back geek haha. Or simply try WAY too hard to be edgy/wacky. But hey, I signed up for this and are specifically looking for those with similar interests. This friday I'll likely add more pics so I'll start actively looking and messaging then.
One girl I found that sounds like my exact situation isn't the highest match due to religion, but I'm so uncaring about it it might just be reflecting that. She wants to take it slow and isn't the most experienced dater, which is similar to me as I simply never put the effort with girls who asked me out. We'll see how it goes when I eventually message her.
I've realized that unfortunately the ladies that are appearing in my highest matches aren't necessarily attractive on the first pass, and those that are sound WAY too extroverted for a laid back geek haha. Or simply try WAY too hard to be edgy/wacky. But hey, I signed up for this and are specifically looking for those with similar interests. This friday I'll likely add more pics so I'll start actively looking and messaging then.
One girl I found that sounds like my exact situation isn't the highest match due to religion, but I'm so uncaring about it it might just be reflecting that. She wants to take it slow and isn't the most experienced dater, which is similar to me as I simply never put the effort with girls who asked me out. We'll see how it goes when I eventually message her.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Not to beat a dead horse, but this is what we mean when we say work on yourself. This is not a healthy mindset and no one will want to be near you if that's how you react to things. Like what she put isn't even bad and yet you reacted that angrily and that harshly to it. You have to review how you think about things and improve it because that's not the way to act.
Also, a lot of dating is you have to let them process you wrong at times for lack of better wording. You've never even interacted with that woman and look how much you've already assigned against her. Does that seem fair?
Why exactly do people put negative stuff on their profile? I don't get it. Just saw a "will you be the brave one to date a piece of shit like me?" and it's like...no thanks?
I just don't know. I could put essays of negativity on my POF, but I don't.
And before anyone asks, I'm just on there on the off chance I find a friend
I just don't know. I could put essays of negativity on my POF, but I don't.
And before anyone asks, I'm just on there on the off chance I find a friend
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
You mean you. I don't know whether it's a poorly executed attempt to help or makes you feel good to criticize someone else, but once again, you're extrapolating something I've said or done as a meaningful flaw of character.
See, just as before you're making false assumptions. I acted positively to her description, even if I did question it's authenticity (we all should to a degree). She responded to my message asking her about what she was interested in discussing. I shared my thoughts without a reply.
If you want to criticize my approach, message, profile, etc. sure, but lighten up. I can vent here like everyone else.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
You're right, I'm literally the only one who commented it was negative and a bad mindset.
Also, knock off the childish browbeating that I get off on supposedly talking down to you. I insinuated no such thing in my post, the only one twisting words is you.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
You're the only one who decided it was a persistent fault of my own and to make assumptions without basis.
EDIT: Nice insult.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Why exactly do people put negative stuff on their profile? I don't get it. Just saw a "will you be the brave one to date a piece of shit like me?" and it's like...no thanks?
I just don't know. I could put essays of negativity on my POF, but I don't.
And before anyone asks, I'm just on there on the off chance I find a friend
i love the ones who say they can be a bitch if they want to be or whatever
Hahahaha.
I dunno, I almost feel like a self-proclaimed bitch is preferred to a self-proclaimed piece of shit lol.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
loool
ive been saving the quotes for the worst ones i find on my site. there's some real good ones.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Link?
I take a lot of screenshots of the weird shit that people send me, but then I delete them because otherwise I would have albums worth
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
electricshake
Member
If I send a message and don't get a reply I'm not going to ask for one if that's what you mean with your last bit.
But for me it's common decency to at least send a reply, but hey, maybe I'm too decent. ;-)
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Admiral Woofington
Member
So are Christian girls immediately turned off by agnostics/atheists if we're not douchey about it?
Found some great ladies that in their top 6 things they list "our Lord and savior" and all I think about it is "Well here I almost messaged them"
Found some great ladies that in their top 6 things they list "our Lord and savior" and all I think about it is "Well here I almost messaged them"