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[Admiral Woofington]

I think that if you're looking for something serious, then I would go with match. The women are of a higher quality, and since they paid, they are more serious about finding a relationship. POF is great for dating, but you will have to filter out a lot of low quality women if you are looking for something serious; women with a low income, kids, overweight, crazy etc. OK Cupid got me noticed by women that wouldn't have bothered with me on other dating sites, maybe because of the questions. I say this because I noticed a few of the same girls who didn't contact me on match, but did on ok cupid. There are also a lot of weirdo women on there too. Within a few days, I was contacted by two different women looking to add a man to their bi sexual relationship and a web cam porn girl that was also a swinger.

Anyhow, if you are looking for something long term, I would place my money with match. Nowhere near as many women will contact you as on POF or possibly ok Cupid, and it may take some time before you get dates, but the women that you do go out with will have their lives together, be relatively normal, and serious about dating long term. You also won't have to deal with a crazy number of weirdos or women with kids like on POF and ok Cupid.

Went ahead and created POF account. I'll see if I have to make a Match account. Honestly I say something serious but it sounds like the ladies in match might want something that could lead into marriage or kids pretty soon (from what you're telling me). I want a serious girlfriend who is pretty casual. I just created accounts and didn't realize that POF had a thing similar to tinder of swipe left/right as one of their things.

For now I'll focus on getting more pics on my account and see if I get any responses from the ladies I am interested in, if nothing occurs I might try Match.com

 

[GK86]

Tinder has been dead for me. Not one match the last week and a half.

 

[Servbot24]

The only matches I tend to get on Tinder have been from the people where I wasn't sure whether to swipe right and was just "eh whatever". No one actually that attractive so far.

Actually I have one extremely attractive match who is always posting Moments of her naked, so I guess that's neat.

 

[AcridMeat]

jesus that moment when you find another girl who is absolutely perfect for you (loves and makes bad puns, is a geek), is gorgeous... and you see written in their profile that they are moving away and are only looking for friendship or short-term dating due to that. Shit. I might still want to get to know her but god damn that sucks.

Until you meet that person you have no idea if you'd actually get along, so don't feel too bad. Go for it anyway, just keep your emotions in check.

Tinder has been dead for me. Not one match the last week and a half.

Swap your pics around/get a new one/change your profile.

Actually I have one extremely attractive match who is always posting Moments of her naked, so I guess that's neat.

You haven't asked her out yet because...?

 

[Psychoward]

Alright I just need to vent. Ex and I broke up a few weeks ago cause college was fast approaching, we weren't happy about it but felt it was for the best.

Naturally with only a few weeks left before I leave I turned to tinder for my post break up hookups and found one girl that I met with regularly for about 2 weeks just for a casual thing. Now though I only have 1 week left and she's gone but it's just really frustrating now.

First off yes I know I'm not owed anything, especially not sex. However I like to think of myself as at least above average attractiveness and I get that impression from others as well. What's been happening constantly is a girl says she's interested in hooking up, I get her number, we text a bit, she tells me when she's free then adds me on snapchat, Facebook, instagram whatever and then just goes dead silent at some point later. I don't think it's unreasonable to think that's a bit rude am I? Or to think that it was reasonable that she would at least want to meet for coffee? Every person has their own reasons and stuff but idk, just frustrated.

I talked to a girl friend and she said every woman I talk to doesn't owe me sex but I was never saying we had to fuck and it's only women on tinder who also give me their number, friend me on social media and say when they can meet. It wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't as common as it was.


Also any advice would be appreciated.

 

[True Savior]

Have you asked the girls on dates ? Set something with them after you talked with her a bit (usually better out of tinder , after you asked for her number). Don't extend the conversations to the point they get bored out of talking with an unknown.

 

[Psychoward]

Have you asked the girls on dates ? Set something with them after you talked with her a bit (usually better out of tinder , after you asked for her number). Don't extend the conversations to the point they get bored out of talking with an unknown.

I leave in a week so yes, usually I'm pretty blunt about what I'm interested in - if they want something more serious then fine. But sometimes I ask them point blank if they wanna hook up before I leave and they say yes, then give me their number and that whole thing.


The most recent one was a girl that actually was at my school last year and it was going perfect and then she just stopped responding. I don't even think I crossed a line or anything cause we talked about some pretty messed up stuff last night, plus she said when she would be free.

Another one told me she was free tomorrow night, I got her number, asked what she was doing, went back and forth for like a minute and now bam silence.

 

[True Savior]

Well its hard to judge if you're being too blunt or not. This varies hugely from girl to girl (and how hot you are , there's really no point in hiding this). Maybe instead of asking them if they want to go out or are free , ask them if they want to go out in the day X , hour X , to the place Y , something like that. Set something immediately (not immediately after you start talking with them lol)

Most girls need some type of reassurance that you're not some crazy weirdo. Conversations should be natural , and especially she should be expansive in the answers. If she's answering yes or no , or not asking you anything , usually either its not the appropriate time or she's just trying not to be rude. Silence will occur after a while.If they keep delaying meeting , then she's probably a talker.

I think the best time to ask a girl out is the moment she's being expansive , and replying immediately as she is in that moment engaged in the conversation.

 

[Psychoward]

Yeah I get all that, it's not the approach that's the problem frankly. Yeah I probably am too blunt for most girls but they convey that through either not responding to the first message or by saying something about not being in to hookups or whatever. Since I'm leaving soon anyway it's better that I didn't dwell on girls who weren't going to do anything within such a short timeframe. That's not where my problem lies.

My issue is the girls who went through all of the steps to show interest (swipe right, respond, say I'm cute or whatever, give out number, friend on social media, say when they're free) and THEN decide to stop responding. I understand that sometimes it can be scary for a girl to say no but the situation just confuses me for a few reasons. 1: If they weren't interested why would they go through all of those steps of showing interest. 2: If they were interested and then changed their mind later for some reason, considering they liked me enough to tell me when they were free and give out their number it would at least be decent if they could respond with a no instead of going straight in to cold shoulder mode. And 3: I think by then I've proven I'm not a complete and utter weirdo so saying no won't make me snap. Aaaaand last but not least 4: if they were so nervous about random guys (who don't even know where they live) why would they even be on Tinder in the first place?

 

[True Savior]

Are those girls in the 18-21 age range ?

 

[Psychoward]

Are those girls in the 18-21 age range ?

DING DING DING

yeah I'm 18 and the oldest one that did that to me was 19

I actually had something similar happen in real life last summer at work when I was 17 with a 16 year old girl. Long story short she wanted me to ask her out for a while and when I actually did she kept delaying when she could meet for various reasons before finally saying she wasn't interested in a relationship.

 

[Future PhaZe]

honestly

at what point do i just call it quits on a chick without a sex drive

had a conversation today where I was like "how about you suggest what step you'd like to take with our intimacy next, because you know what you're comfortable with and what you're curious about"

and response was basically idk might take a while and i'm just like whatever and changed the subject

 

[True Savior]

DING DING DING

yeah I'm 18 and the oldest one that did that to me was 19

I actually had something similar happen in real life last summer at work when I was 17 with a 16 year old girl. Long story short she wanted me to ask her out for a while and when I actually did she kept delaying when she could meet for various reasons before finally saying she wasn't interested in a relationship.

They're in for the curiosity. A guy who has only one week and asks bluntly to go out with them , that's just repellent lol.

I can't say i have a lot of experience in that range , but the description you gave , especially the social media interaction reminded me a lot of a 19 and 20 year old girl i talked.

 

[Psychoward]

They're in for the curiosity. A guy who has only one week and asks bluntly to go out with them , that's just repellent lol.

I can't say i have a lot of experience in that range , but the description you gave , especially the social media interaction reminded me a lot of a 19 and 20 year old girl i talked.

Oh well, it did work with that one girl that I hooked up with for a few weeks recently so I figured it would at least work with one other


By far the biggest "for what purpose" moment I've had though was last Friday. I did the standard song and dance and got her number and she gave me her jnstagram. Friday she said she was free to meet for a hookup after babysitting which ended at 1130. I went home after work, showered and shaved and waited. At 1145 I asked if she was free to no response. The next morning I asked her what happened and she said there was an attempted burglary and she had to call the police and she was really sorry. She said she still wanted to hook up though and would find a different day she was free. Never responded after that.

Even if the story was true what's the point of saying you're still interested only to stop responding that same day.

I just don't get it. I figured college would be better for this sort of thing but apparently it isn't so yay

 

[Cereal KiIIer]

My date tonight stood me up (3rd date) because she had a miscarriage of a child she didn't know she had.

Yeah, I'm done with online dating for a while...

 

[Admiral Woofington]

My date tonight stood me up (3rd date) because she had a miscarriage of a child she didn't know she had.

Yeah, I'm done with online dating for a while...

jesus christ lol

 

[Rest]

What's that, a new message?

"How'd You Like to Help Moderate the Site?"

motherfuckeringfuck

 

[GK86]

What's that, a new message?

"How'd You Like to Help Moderate the Site?"

motherfuckeringfuck

Do it. Women are attracted to men with power. Gaf Mods must get all kinds of tail.

 

[Rest]

Just went through a series of flagged images. Nothing fun

Lot's of pictures of random objects, pets, and cars.

Edit: Aaaaaaand I just saw a dick pick. That's enough modding for today.

 

[Lulubop]

First bad date in awhile, not even sure what happened. Wasted more money than I wanted to too. *shurg*

 

[shanafan]

First bad date in awhile, not even sure what happened. Wasted more money than I wanted to too. *shurg*

How was it bad?

 

[Admiral Woofington]

First bad date in awhile, not even sure what happened. Wasted more money than I wanted to too. *shurg*

Was it awkward?

In other news I might write some more messages in OKC this weekend. Few ladies I've liked so I'll go to that list.

 

[gaiages]

honestly

at what point do i just call it quits on a chick without a sex drive

had a conversation today where I was like "how about you suggest what step you'd like to take with our intimacy next, because you know what you're comfortable with and what you're curious about"

and response was basically idk might take a while and i'm just like whatever and changed the subject

If you like the girl, maybe suggest an open relationship?

If you don't, then just break up?

.

Dude, there could be a billion different reasons they went cold. Found someone else to hook up with, changed their minds, they were drunk while talking to you, they have a boyfriend already (and thought about cheating), your eyes are too far apart, they got bored, they were bored then found something better to do then messaging, got cold feet........

Don't dwell on it, just keep on trucking. You're leaving in a few days anyway, you can hookup with new women wherever you're moving to.

My date tonight stood me up (3rd date) because she had a miscarriage of a child she didn't know she had.

Yeah, I'm done with online dating for a while...

I wouldn't quite call that being stood up, but O_O

Do it. Women are attracted to men with power. Gaf Mods must get all kinds of tail.

I concur, my boyfriend is an OKC mod!

Spoiler

While I'm serious, I am clearly just furthering the joke. Don't think being an OKC mod will actually get you laid

 

[Lulubop]

I guess she wasn't feeling it after a bit, I did spill my drink mostly on her. Maybe that was the turning point D:

 

[Admiral Woofington]

I keep getting liked by women I have no interest in dating physically or mentally. So I'll be proactive this weekend. Guess I'm so used to being the one chased....

Also noticing the trend that geek women I'd date (from the site) tend to be bi or have had same sex experiences at one time or another. All for it but another girl I really liked said that she's leaning towards women right now because guys write bad messages. Wanna write a really so bad it's good message now

 

[gaiages]

I keep getting liked by women I have no interest in dating physically or mentally. So I'll be proactive this weekend. Guess I'm so used to being the one chased....

Also noticing the trend that geek women I'd date (from the site) tend to be bi or have had same sex experiences at one time or another. All for it but another girl I really liked said that she's leaning towards women right now because guys write bad messages. Wanna write a really so bad it's good message now

May I ask why you're specifically looking for geek girls?

 

[Lulubop]

About to Made in Heaven my Tinder again.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

May I ask why you're specifically looking for geek girls?

I've dated non geek girls. And it always ends the same where they're really into me because I'm dorky and nice yet still outgoing and intellectual, but I feel no connection to them or our interests. In this day and age where geek isn't like specifically reserved for socially awkward individuals I want to find somebody I can talk about games or sci fi. I did fine with the non geeky women, but having similar interests is extremely important to me. It may not be the same for others.

 

[DoktorEvil]

I keep getting liked by women I have no interest in dating physically or mentally. So I'll be proactive this weekend. Guess I'm so used to being the one chased....

Also noticing the trend that geek women I'd date (from the site) tend to be bi or have had same sex experiences at one time or another. All for it but another girl I really liked said that she's leaning towards women right now because guys write bad messages. Wanna write a really so bad it's good message now

Petty shit man.

I don't have any experience dating "Geeky" girls, but I'd imagine that they would also be socially awkward and too focused on hobbies to actually put effort into finding a dude.

 

[True Savior]

I've dated non geek girls. And it always ends the same where they're really into me because I'm dorky and nice yet still outgoing and intellectual, but I feel no connection to them or our interests. In this day and age where geek isn't like specifically reserved for socially awkward individuals I want to find somebody I can talk about games or sci fi. I did fine with the non geeky women, but having similar interests is extremely important to me. It may not be the same for others.

What if its a geek girl with bad taste ?

 

[gaiages]

I've dated non geek girls. And it always ends the same where they're really into me because I'm dorky and nice yet still outgoing and intellectual, but I feel no connection to them or our interests. In this day and age where geek isn't like specifically reserved for socially awkward individuals I want to find somebody I can talk about games or sci fi. I did fine with the non geeky women, but having similar interests is extremely important to me. It may not be the same for others.

Ah, that's understandable. I'm just making sure you're not doing it for a silly reason or something; since similar interests are extremely important, that's a good reason.

Petty shit man.

I don't have any experience dating "Geeky" girls, but I'd imagine that they would also be socially awkward and too focused on hobbies to actually put effort into finding a dude.

Yeah... no, that's not really true. Let's flip that and say that all geeky guys are too awkward and focused on their hobbies to go after women, and we can tell by this thread that that's not really true, can't we? There's some that are like that, and most that aren't. You can like non-mainstream stuff and be socially healthy.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

Petty shit man.

I don't have any experience dating "Geeky" girls, but I'd imagine that they would also be socially awkward and too focused on hobbies to actually put effort into finding a dude.

What gaiages said is basically what I'd say. I like geeky stuff, heck I play dnd, and my friends and I are just as sociable as anybody else. We're all introverts at heart but we like going out and having fun too, it's just more exhausting haha.

What if its a geek girl with bad taste ?

You mean bad taste in her hobbies? Well I mean as long as she's not spouting dank may mays out loud I can manage. Not everybody has the same tastes.

Ah, that's understandable. I'm just making sure you're not doing it for a silly reason or something; since similar interests are extremely important, that's a good reason.



Yeah... no, that's not really true. Let's flip that and say that all geeky guys are too awkward and focused on their hobbies to go after women, and we can tell by this thread that that's not really true, can't we? There's some that are like that, and most that aren't. You can like non-mainstream stuff and be socially healthy.

Beautifully put. And yeah it isn't dating geeky girls for some sinister or misguided reason. I just want to see if similar interests help us connect more or if the problem is just me having issues connecting with people when it's romantic.

 

[DoktorEvil]

Yeah... no, that's not really true. Let's flip that and say that all geeky guys are too awkward and focused on their hobbies to go after women, and we can tell by this thread that that's not really true, can't we? There's some that are like that, and most that aren't. You can like non-mainstream stuff and be socially healthy.

It's a half-truth. I can concede that.

I wanted to know what his barometer for being Geeky vs Non-Geeky is. Geek and Nerd and Dork are interchangeably thrown around way too much.

If she likes Dr. Who, that makes her Geeky? If she does Cosplay and goes to cons, that make her geeky?

 

[Admiral Woofington]

It's more like either or. Does she like video games? Does she enjoy literature (bonus if sci fi and or fantasy)? Does she enjoy comics? Does she enjoy cheesy bad movies?

It doesn't have to be that she's a female version of me haha. Just that we have common ground or something. I'd love to try something geeky I've never done. I mean ffs I'm sure not everybody I know is thrilled that I play dnd with friends.

If the girl wants to marry and likes to go out dancing and clubbing 24/7 chances are we won't have anything in common right now.

 

[Jhoan]

As another OKC mod here, I don't think it's a big deal at all. Dong pics and fake pics are all the rage. Sadly I've never encountered a flagged message.

So I'm gonna go meet up with a West Indies girl in a few minutes for some Vietnamese food and possibly hit up the Brooklyn or Manhattan bride afterwards. Not the type of girl I normally go for but I think she seems pretty cool.

My brother thinks she might be "ghetto" since she has two tattoos and seventeen piercings but that doesn't mean a thing since it's a stranger in the end of the day. I'm keeping an open mind as I always. Expect a follow up post once I get home tonight. I'm out of here folks.

 

[Lulubop]

As another OKC mod here, I don't think it's a big deal at all. Dong pics and fake pics are all the rage. Sadly I've never encountered a flagged message.

So I'm gonna go meet up with a West Indies girl in a few minutes for some Vietnamese food and possibly hit up the Brooklyn or Manhattan bride afterwards. Not the type of girl I normally go for but I think she seems pretty cool.

My brother thinks she might be "ghetto" since she has two tattoos and seventeen piercings but that doesn't mean a thing since it's a stranger in the end of the day. I'm keeping an open mind as I always. Expect a follow up post once I get home tonight. I'm out of here folks.

Good luck bro.

Reset my Tinder, already got a good number of matches. Maybe I can make something happen today, but yesterday's date has me feeling kinda eh.

 

[Malvingt2]

OKC is not working for me. Match, I got a date which cancel the date a day before such happen and POF is a mess.. I am terrible at this..

 

[Jhoan]

I left the girl about 30 minutes ago since she went home but I stayed in the area. She definitely didn't strike me as being "ghetto" and was very articulate/laid back so my brother was wrong there. She does live in a bad area of the city but said that scene isn't her type of thing/is something she wants nothing to do with which I respected. We're in very similar situations in that she lives at home and between goals and share a couple of common interests including hitting the gym. It turns out that she's a huge TV show fan which I found hilarious. She was pretty easy on the eyes looks wise and laughed at my jokes but there was little touching save for me touvjinh her arm and fingers.

However, a few red flags arose. For one thing, she was talking about a bunch of negative experiences which I was trying to put a positive spin on/steer away from since it was uncomfortable. The other thing is that she smokes which I batted a blind eye to since she stated it in her profile so I expected that. I'm wishy-washy about it; on the one hand she gave me a strong friend vibe but on the other hand I feel like she would be good as a FWB thing but no more than that. Gonna sleep on it for a few hours.

 

[Rest]

I was moments away from sending someone a message when they deleted or deactivated their profile. Kind of a bummer.

Edit:
"Pregnant women are submarines when they are in the ocean."

I saw this in a profile just now. That's both deep and inconsequential at the same time.

 

[Jhoan]

And just like that, I have something set up with a 22 year old from OKC tomorrow. Funny enough, I had messaged her on Tinder several months ago and told her so since I recognized two of her pictures. She told me she deleted her Tinder I have no idea what we're going to do other than suggesting drinks and walk around in the heat since there's going to be a heatwave this weekend. Gotta check the NYC GAF thread for ideas. I have a feeling next week is going to be a pricey week if I manage to set up two potential dates successfully.

As for the girl I saw last night, I couldn't think of a good way to say that we should be friends so I haven't texted her since I left her last night. I haven't heard back from her either. Think I'm going to ghost her as I've done in the past with other girls.

And lastly, I deleted my Tinder after striking out again and conversations dried up worse than a raisin in the sun. I'll reboot it tonight and change up the pictures since I feel like they haven't been helping.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

"Hey it was nice meeting you yesterday. Unfortunately I didn't feel like there was much chemistry, but if you'd like to hang out as friends in the future let me know. Good luck on your search!"

Can probably remove "unfortunately" (seems a bit negative) and the last sentence (seems a bit mechanical) but it leaves the ball in her court, isn't overly critical, and is vague but polite.

 

[Leeness]

Hahahahahaha.

"No I don't have an interest in sex."
"Well then what good are you?"

I live for this shit hahaha.

 

[gaiages]

I was moments away from sending someone a message when they deleted or deactivated their profile. Kind of a bummer.

Edit:
"Pregnant women are submarines when they are in the ocean."

I saw this in a profile just now. That's both deep and inconsequential at the same time.

I was about to mention how ridiculous that sounded, then I thought about it more and was like 'woah'

 

[Jhoan]

I sent a variation of what Lone_Prodigy said above above but it was tough for me to do considering that the writing was on the wall with her not texting me today at all. In any case, it's done.

The girl I'm meeting up with tomorrow told me she's not looking for hook ups since I said that after meeting up at the bar, we'll go "wherever the heat takes us." I can see how this was an unintentional double entendre so I played it cool and said that I'm honestly not looking one which satisfied her (I'm really not since I had a bad experience with one and looking to take things slow/organically).

And I got a message from a girl that lurked on my profile after I lurked on hers. Not the type of girl I go for with so I don't see how it was a green light for a message but I might entertain it in any case and let it fizzle out if I'm really not interested.

I fear for my poor wallet to be able to get through this month with a little bit of money so frugal dates will be the name of the game after tomorrow's date. I think after next week, I'm going to take a break from dating until mid September while I focus on paying off the last bit of my debt I owe in tuition to my college and art work.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

got a message today from a girl that may not be interested, but at least told me how she giggled at my profile and appreciated all the effort.

Tomorrow I might send some messages before I head out to hang with friends.

 

[Rest]

Gah. I kind of suck at follow up messages. I have nothing funny or interesting to say, and my experience is that people don't respond well to being asked out on the second message.

 

[Jhoan]

Gir I was supposed to meet up with today l ended up canceling. Made up some excuse about her grandfather being in town for the last day before going back to the native country and being forced to visit to him before her mom got angry at her and wanted to reschedule. I don't buy it because she told me last night that she had nothing planned all weekend but I played it cool. I'd texted her back asking to when she wanted to reschedule it for but I left my phone at home charging so I won't be able to check it until I get home. Hoping she says some time during the week so I can go to the beach tomorrow.

It was better that any way since weekends are usually not good for dates IMHO because people always have plans to go out or what have you; I ended up going to the pool with the bros and I'm currently in my middle brother's house. Save money for another day. I'll keep you guys posted but it sounds like the notorious online dating flakiness strikes again.

And in other news, I'd started messaging a new girl yesterday on OKC. In her second response, she'd already hinted at me that she wants to meet up so I replied by saying if she was implying that she was asking me out. We'll see what she says but it seems that it's pretty damn easy to get replies from girls who "Liked" me initially for the most part.

@Rest, what kind of messages are you initially sending out that you have a hard time transitioning to other subjects. I've been finding that saying "What's the story behind [x picture]? It looks interesting/cool/[insert witty comment here]" has yielded me replies as opposed to say stuff like "What's your opinion on dragons/zombies?" You don't have to follow up with something witty but instead keep asking questions and commenting to build a rapport.

 

[Lulubop]

My Okc message game just ain't there. I think imma at least disable it. The Tinder reset has been amazing to me, about to meet a girl out in Sunnyside We'll see how it goes.

 

[Lulubop]

Well that went well. Got hit with the you don't gotta go home but you gotta get the hell out here thoo. I respect it but I'm fucking tired and pretty drunk.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

been hitting it off with a girl that messaged me through POF. We'll meet in a few weeks when she comes here. She's not entirely what I was looking for when I started this crusade, but she's cute, laid back, likes to stay at home binging on shows, and doesn't mind personal space/video games.