ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
That happened to me in June. Messaged each other a bunch on Friday afternoon. She gave me her number on Saturday night. I contacted her 30 minutes later, I was busy working on my car, and I never heard from her again.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Got stood up tonight for the first time in my life! I was actually at the table -- I made a reservation at a wine bar in her neighborhood. She replied that she was working out at the gym in her apartment, 4 blocks away, and forgot all about it. Admittedly, I should've texted her this afternoon to confirm, but I honestly didn't care enough, and her profile was all, "I hate flakiness. I also hate texting. Let's meet in person!"
Anyway, she didn't suggest meeting later on tonight. She did apologize. Then, she said that she's available Monday and Wednesday of next week -- sorry, if you waste my time, you ask when I'm available next, since it's on you.
All in all, I had a nice, brisk evening walk, some free water, and picked up groceries. I consider it a win.
I just got back from a date with a woman that is somewhat famous. No one would recognize her if they don't pay attention to her field. I feel like I have hit the pinnacle of dating. I had no clue until she told me. I can die now feeling like there is nothing more for me to accomplish, as far as women go. She wants to see me again too.
It happens. Like AD said, I always confirm the day before or the day of. If a woman gives a bullshit excuse, it is on her to set-up the next date. Sometimes, a better guy comes along. It happens. It won't really bother you if you are talking to other women. I just brush it off and move on.
Agreed. I make it a habit to text the girl before I walk in and have her let me know she has arrived. I don't go in before she gets there.
It happens. Like AD said, I always confirm the day before or the day of. If a woman gives a bullshit excuse, it is on her to set-up the next date. Sometimes, a better guy comes along. It happens. It won't really bother you if you are talking to other women. I just brush it off and move on.
Agreed. I make it a habit to text the girl before I walk in and have her let me know she has arrived. I don't go in before she gets there.
Same
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Exactly. Something seemed off about her, and like you, I only have enough time (because it's my time that's valuable) to talk to a fixed number of girls. At this point, if one manages to DQ herself early on, well...
... though, you and Lulubop pointed out a good strategy. I've never had anyone flake on me, and so I've never considered that strategy. Frankly, I like getting there early, cooling off, relaxing a bit, and starting in on a drink. 9 times out of 10, the girl's running late: the D.C. metro has hiccups, or it's after work, or there's traffic.
You wouldn't be the first person in this thread to date someone fairly famous in their field. We had one guy dating a bombshell who had famous friends and MTV was calling her to setup a reality show based on her. Apparently even had a trade magazine cover or two.
I hope you have far better luck than he did. His constant blogging of the initial major issues and the continual downfall from there was somewhere between hilarious and frustrating.
Sound like an interesting read.
Alright, I'm signing up for match, Assanova. What subscription do you recommend?
Edit: nevermind, did a 3 month. There are several more women on here that seem to be more serious about dating than on the other sites, but there are also a lot of the same women here too
My goodness photos take forever to get approved.
Edit: nevermind, did a 3 month. There are several more women on here that seem to be more serious about dating than on the other sites, but there are also a lot of the same women here too
My goodness photos take forever to get approved.
Next time I travel somewhere, I should leave some time for meeting the locals. So many OKC likes that are just unactionable, including one woman who liked me twice. Or maybe changing your name reinserts you to the top of others' lists. If I had more time, I'd go out with that woman in a second.
Look up posts by SPMH here and in the dating thread. The relationship starts at "I'm uncomfortable dating someone better looking than I, while she also shows me all these messages she gets from guys she knows who want to sex her. I'm also a secret right now, since her not-yet-ex is violent. Boobs boobs, boobs boobs." That was the high point. Throughout the entire thing you'll be thinking "exactly how hot must this woman be to put up with all this shit?"
I hope it isn't SPMH's ex.... ;P
Oh wait looks like I'm not the only one that thought about that:
Maybe I'll compile the Legend of The Semi-Famous Hot Chick when I have the time.
So, I had a girl tell me that she wanted to meet for lunch all week, and now she is trying to lock-up dinner this weekend. I have had four different girls try to lock-up Saturday. It is like they have a sixth sense for when other women are in the picture and try to block you out from seeing them.
Not sure if I mentioned this already, but anyway. This girl I've met twice now from Tinder is a strange texter. She only texts me after around 9pm, and then will send a string of long messages responding to whatever I've written during the day and then add how her day was. She normally doesn't respond even if I respond at this time. Instead, she responds at the same time the next day, i.e. 24 hours later.
I asked her why she does this, and she said she is often busy at school and when she isn't there she is with friends, who she wants to give her full attention and not be glued to her phone. Fair enough I suppose. What is bothering me a bit though is that she's online on facebook messenger constantly in the day (we talk on whatsapp for whatever reason, her suggestion. I think she only uses whatsapp to talk to me, because she's never online there when she isn't texting me).
She does always respond eventually and when she doesn't she apologizes. She writes long messages. We're meeting again in a few days. All this combined, she's obviously still interested. Just strange I suppose, I'm used to more frequent texting.
I asked her why she does this, and she said she is often busy at school and when she isn't there she is with friends, who she wants to give her full attention and not be glued to her phone. Fair enough I suppose. What is bothering me a bit though is that she's online on facebook messenger constantly in the day (we talk on whatsapp for whatever reason, her suggestion. I think she only uses whatsapp to talk to me, because she's never online there when she isn't texting me).
She does always respond eventually and when she doesn't she apologizes. She writes long messages. We're meeting again in a few days. All this combined, she's obviously still interested. Just strange I suppose, I'm used to more frequent texting.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
For some reason I'm thinking of the scene in Mrs. Doubtfire where Robin Williams is juggling two simultaneous dinners at the same restaurant.
My ex and I were very consistent texters: in the morning before work, maybe during lunch, and then after work. One of the reasons we broke up was because she didn't respond one evening (we were planning something the next day), I let paranoia get the better of me, she said I didn't trust her, etc. etc.
I would suggest not lurking Whatsapp or FB messenger to see when she's online (and not responding to you). Texting frequency/behaviour is something not worth worrying about until you know her better. Now, if they simply don't respond ASAP when you're at a date, then that's something else, but when you're not meeting up expect a bit of inconsistency and silence.
You look good to me. What do you mean you get matches & nothing beyond that? As in it doesn't progress much further than the matching? Cause that same shit happens to me
Yep, same here. Insanely annoying and discouraging for sure.
Texting between dates doesn't matter. As long as you're still meeting in person and it's going well, you've got nothing to worry about. People are different when it comes to texting, but again nothing said there matters in the early phases.
Are each of these being used? I think 2 & 4 are highlights. I agree 4 would be good as a main picture. Drop 1 if you're using it, no smile and the harsh contrast could be a turn off. I'd suggest a group photo, or at least having fun with another person or a pet, dog pictures would be great.
Yeah I hear you guys. I'm just more used to texting more frequently.
Not all, the one you didn't like is not being used, but all the others are. I hear you on the group picture, but I don't have one. The top picture is actually with dogs, is it not in the link?
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Something is wrong with Tinder? I tried sending a message to someone, and I get an exclamation mark, and the the message wall I sent is all red. It also said failed to send a message to so and so.
Not only that, but I can't log out of Tinder. It won't let me, and my profile picture is wrong.
Has anyone had this happen before? I'm on an iphone btw.
I don't want to reinstall the app, because I'm afraid I'll lose my matches.
EDIT-Now it's working. Hmmmmmmmmm.
Not only that, but I can't log out of Tinder. It won't let me, and my profile picture is wrong.
Has anyone had this happen before? I'm on an iphone btw.
I don't want to reinstall the app, because I'm afraid I'll lose my matches.
EDIT-Now it's working. Hmmmmmmmmm.
Date right in a bit, just started talking to her on OKC last night. She initiated everything (sent the first message, asked if I was free this weekend and gave me her number), so that was nice. Not really feeling it but she's hot. My confidence has just be really low lately, so I'm not really expecting much.
That said me and the girl I met Tuesday have been talking a ton even on the phone, which I never do. Super into her, excited for our barcade date tomorrow.
That said me and the girl I met Tuesday have been talking a ton even on the phone, which I never do. Super into her, excited for our barcade date tomorrow.
You lucky bastard
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
I matched with a girl last week who's pretty hot and is into WoW. Of course I'm not, but yeah. I messaged her last week, and she asked what I was looking for. Well, yesterday I message her back, and told her exploring my options, but mainly not into hookups. I gave her my number, she texted me, and we talked til 2am.
She's the only woman on Tinder so far that knew my Archer joke. She loves Quentin T. movies, and I told her I haven't seen Django Unchained yet. She was shocked, and said "we have to Netflix and chill, but really watch Netflix", so I'm not sure if she wants to bang or not, but we'll be watching the movie at her place. Hopefully Monday is the day.
She's the only woman on Tinder so far that knew my Archer joke. She loves Quentin T. movies, and I told her I haven't seen Django Unchained yet. She was shocked, and said "we have to Netflix and chill, but really watch Netflix", so I'm not sure if she wants to bang or not, but we'll be watching the movie at her place. Hopefully Monday is the day.
It didn't load for me, but I just checked again and now it's there. It's decent and you can tell there's a smile lurking but I think a similar picture with a smile/looking at the camera would do wonders. The dog on the left is adorable.
This is getting strange. I've seen at-least five of my matches on Okcupid in public in the past few months.
I've messaged them all, but I didn't bother asking them out. The thing that really gets me is that my mind goes that "They look familiar." route, andow and behold, they're actually my match. Like today, I was mosying around SF with this kid from my class and I saw one working the register. I just dodged out and went somewhere else.
It's just awkward, and I'm pretty sure they recognize me.
I've messaged them all, but I didn't bother asking them out. The thing that really gets me is that my mind goes that "They look familiar." route, andow and behold, they're actually my match. Like today, I was mosying around SF with this kid from my class and I saw one working the register. I just dodged out and went somewhere else.
It's just awkward, and I'm pretty sure they recognize me.
I see one of my matches almost every week as she is coming into my classroom as I'm leaving it.
Gray Matter
Member
Got a couple of matches on tinder, pretty ladies. Let's see how it goes.
RedAssedApe
Banned
noooo...they fixed the code in okcupid that let you see who likes you without being A-list.
kind of funny though...they left a message in the code about stealing been bad. lol
kind of funny though...they left a message in the code about stealing been bad. lol
Judging from your last couple of posts, it could just be your confidence. I think that confidence can make you or break you on a date. Unless you had some kind of massive weight gain or loss, or you are the king of Instagram filters, it was probably your confidence that caused your date to not go so well tonight.
I really don't know any girls that think like this. If you seemed good looking enough to go on a date with, it usually comes down to personality/chemistry when you actually meet in person.
Also, you have to be learned to not be offended by stuff like this. Sometimes it's just not a match for whatever reason. You're incompatible with literally millions of women out there, it just happens. Stop caring so much, go into a date with a positive attitude but don't invest too much in it.
I've only been on about 15 dates myself...and of that, only really really got along with one of those women. Even then, I don't think we're going to be long term dating material.
Best advice? Go on a fair amount of dates and don't invest too much into any single one. Keep yer head up.
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
OKC is programmed oddly.
Why send an email that person "xyz" likes me, but when I go into the app, you try and make me wonder who the new like is from?
Am I only finding it odd because I'm not an attractive woman getting 100s of views likes?
Why send an email that person "xyz" likes me, but when I go into the app, you try and make me wonder who the new like is from?
Am I only finding it odd because I'm not an attractive woman getting 100s of views likes?
stn
Member
I can see some truth in his post. I have had some girls be ECSTATIC to meet me and then basically look disappointed on the first date. I'm one of those people who apparently is night-and-day just when his hair grows a bit too long, for example. It can't be a lack of personality because that's actually my strongest point.
I've also had girls go awol after sending them more pics. Like, we're talking minutes after. FWIW, I've received hundreds of messages since I got OKC. I definitely think my pic makes me look better than I actually do.
No, it's an utter pain in the ass. Whenever someone liked my page, I always wanted to go and, ya know, look at their page, maybe message back, but nope! OKC is pretty crappy in that regard, I basically had to wait for a guy to message me before I could go and easily look at their profile. I wanted to make the first move once and a while too, if they liked my page first
Went on a date today. She isn't bad, but I am not really feeling this girl. I think the girl I went out with on Friday basically ruined it for others girls because they all get compared to her as the standard now. We are going on another date this upcoming weekend. Should be fun. I only meet a girl like her about every five years.
Been talking to this girl for a day now. She's pretty cool. We've been talking back & forth. She definitely keeps the conversation going, asking questions and all that. We've been talking about guns and shooting, as she has been curious to go & get one of her own. Thing is, her replies are pretty far in between & when I'm on, I notice she is online. Not a big deal, just an observation that I find odd. Her profile says she's looking for 'the straw to my berry', but her profile also says she is adamant on talking as friends first and letting it go from there. She doesn't like the pressure of going out with the hope/expectation of romance, would rather it develop from friendship.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Have a date set up with a new girl. I responded to her text a few days ago, and she didn't say a word back. I just sat, waited, and charged it to the game. Out of the blue, she texts me, apologizes, and sets up a date with me. Patience pays off. If a girl doesn't respond, then it is on her to reinstate contact and set up a date, which is exactly what she did. I think that sometimes girls do this as a sh*t test to see how desperate a guy is.
Last weekend this girl and I texted a couple of times back, the last text being me asking what she was into because her profile was blank. She never texted anything back until this morning and it was "a whole lot of nothing, hbu?". This shit is silly.
I think I will now ask her if she want to get a drink, should hear back close to New Years.
I think I will now ask her if she want to get a drink, should hear back close to New Years.
I have learned to avoid going out with these types of girls. If the online messages and texting don't flow really well, then chances are, the date won't either. It is just a waste of time and money. I use to go out with girls just because they would, but not anymore. Much more choosey and have learned to read the signs of when I would be wasting my time and money.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
I think this might have backfired. Not sure yet, she took her time to respond to me the first time, but it seems like it's been a bit too long.
Gray Matter
Member
When you can't figure a first message, what do you say?
I'm stuck.
Edit: tinder btw
I'm stuck.
Edit: tinder btw