J
Jpop
Unconfirmed Member
Tinder in NYC is something, it's almost to the point where you get too many likes.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
True Savior
Member
Why does that tinder thread has 46 pages? What are they even talking about there?
I check in from time to time but I still don't know.
Hello? This is Hailun!
Member
People who use a dating app that is 100% based around looks are upset that their looks aren't up to snuff.
Just got a tinder match and even a message, but now she gone
No way to see the message, right? I don't even get excited anymore tho, which is good.
Likely a bot. They often delete the match if you don't respond in a set timeframe for some reason.
Will the Thrill
Banned
Lol haven't see this gif in awhile, anyway yeah probably a bot like Jokab said. In my experience, someone messaging immediately after a match (basically near instant) is always a bot. Even if it's just a "hey". I've had maybe 1 or 2 people out of a lot that have actually messaged me first and not been a bot.
Biggest pet peeve in the world to me imo, I wish messaging first wasn't so one sided
True Savior
Member
Yeah I thought it was that 3 days ago. But they still goin. Like Jojab, I've checked it and have no idea what's still being discussed.
I don't think it is self-deleting as oppose to Tinder deleting the profile from too many spam reports.
Fourth date was yesterday. This may have been the last one before she leaves town. We're trying to make a fifth, but our schedules are rough right now.
We were going to go out, but she changed her mind at the last minute and invited me over to her place. Her family was out of town, and she repeatedly mentioned this throughout the evening. I don't know about you all, but I took this as a signal that she may have wanted sex. Now, I can be really indecisive and indirect so I'm not the kind of guy who really knows what he's doing when it comes to getting a girl in the mood so I just bought myself some time waiting for an ideal moment to just ask her. We played some games, made out, more games, and talked while playing with her dog. Her dog loves me now. She started off the night leaning up against me, but I noticed she distanced herself as it went on. I think she was getting really tired after awhile and just wanted me to head home so she could sleep. She mentioned she had to work the next day. I wasn't sure though so I made a move anyway at the end of the night. I started making out with her, laid her down on the couch, got some heavy breathing from her when I kissed her neck, and I asked if she wanted to go upstairs and she said she couldn't. I told her that was okay, we stopped, and she gave me a lift home after that.
Either I waited too long, I just wasn't turning her on, or I misinterpreted the situation and she just wanted a simple night in after a long day. I didn't want her to think I was some asshole who was just trying to get laid before she left town so I told her that before I got out of the car. She said she didn't get that impression from me so that's a good sign. Since this may have been our last meetup I told her I thought she was great and would love to see her again when she got back. I didn't want to put her on the spot to give me her answer so I just told her to take some time to think about it and let me know. She said okay, and wanted to give me a hug before I left.
I don't know, GAF. Hopefully I didn't screw this up. I'm going to try to meet up with her Thursday, but if she makes up some excuse not to then I think I'll have my answer.
We were going to go out, but she changed her mind at the last minute and invited me over to her place. Her family was out of town, and she repeatedly mentioned this throughout the evening. I don't know about you all, but I took this as a signal that she may have wanted sex. Now, I can be really indecisive and indirect so I'm not the kind of guy who really knows what he's doing when it comes to getting a girl in the mood so I just bought myself some time waiting for an ideal moment to just ask her. We played some games, made out, more games, and talked while playing with her dog. Her dog loves me now. She started off the night leaning up against me, but I noticed she distanced herself as it went on. I think she was getting really tired after awhile and just wanted me to head home so she could sleep. She mentioned she had to work the next day. I wasn't sure though so I made a move anyway at the end of the night. I started making out with her, laid her down on the couch, got some heavy breathing from her when I kissed her neck, and I asked if she wanted to go upstairs and she said she couldn't. I told her that was okay, we stopped, and she gave me a lift home after that.
Either I waited too long, I just wasn't turning her on, or I misinterpreted the situation and she just wanted a simple night in after a long day. I didn't want her to think I was some asshole who was just trying to get laid before she left town so I told her that before I got out of the car. She said she didn't get that impression from me so that's a good sign. Since this may have been our last meetup I told her I thought she was great and would love to see her again when she got back. I didn't want to put her on the spot to give me her answer so I just told her to take some time to think about it and let me know. She said okay, and wanted to give me a hug before I left.
I don't know, GAF. Hopefully I didn't screw this up. I'm going to try to meet up with her Thursday, but if she makes up some excuse not to then I think I'll have my answer.
ZackieChan
Member
You're far too timid. It's obvious she wasn't having you over to play with her dog.
Yes, she did.
She probably had the idea of sex in her head but as the night progressed figured it wasn't happening so kind of gave up on it. You said you made out then went back to games, that transition would probably kill the mood.
ZackieChan
Member
He had to show her how far gaming had come since Super Mario World. A precursor to any sex.
I just took a look at what it's evolved into and, well, it's something.
Nah, you shouldn't feel like shit. You potentially have Thursday and if she bails then you can try dating elsewhere while she's away.
I know, but I dig her a lot and my social anxiety and awkwardness has ruined so much shit in my life already that adding this to it just brings it all back at once.
I'm trying to figure out when I should text her about Thursday. She said she was free that day so it was just my schedule that was getting in the way. I wanted to wait until the day got closer to make sure I would be free, but I think I have to plan on meeting her again now to have any chance with her. I don't want that last date to be the last thing she remembers when she leaves.
The day after might be too soon. Maybe tomorrow? That's 3 days in advance.
ZackieChan
Member
He should have watched The Phantom Menace instead
Ya, you can do it tomorrow. Don't want to wait too long or she might make other plans.
That's how accidental pregnancies happen.
ZackieChan
Member
Oh snap. I forgot the context of that thread. 😂
A couple of questions.
1) For Coffee Meets Bagel, under "I like", should I put "A woman who is looking for a long-term committed relationship." That is what I want, but I am unsure if it is bad to put that there and might turn people off. Thoughts? Should I rephrase?
2) I need to get some nice profile pics, but recently moved to an area where I don't have any friends that I could ask this and not be awkward. Any tips of how I could still gets those types of pics? Or if not just any general tips on effective profile pics? I guess I would want a close-up and a whole body shot b/c I am 6'3''.
Anybody here from the Philly area...just curious?
1) For Coffee Meets Bagel, under "I like", should I put "A woman who is looking for a long-term committed relationship." That is what I want, but I am unsure if it is bad to put that there and might turn people off. Thoughts? Should I rephrase?
2) I need to get some nice profile pics, but recently moved to an area where I don't have any friends that I could ask this and not be awkward. Any tips of how I could still gets those types of pics? Or if not just any general tips on effective profile pics? I guess I would want a close-up and a whole body shot b/c I am 6'3''.
Anybody here from the Philly area...just curious?
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Why would you put that you like "A woman who is looking for a long-term committed relationship."? It is so boring, also getting way ahead of yourself. Mention a couple of cool hobbies.
Ask someone? Say you promised a friend you needed a picture in front of famous building x or it is part of an in joke if you need an excuse to ask a stranger (although you should get pics with friends too!)
The specific section on CMB is "I appreciate when my date ". But your point is well taken.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
I haven't used the app (last time I checked it wasn't in the UK), so I apologise for any bluntness in my response, I was unaware of the exact wording
.That said, you should use apps to look for someone you have great connection with and only think about long term stuff down the road. They are a means to meet someone, don't establish too high an expectation for yourself or for them.
I would just say you're looking to date. See where it goes. Jumping right saying you want a long-term commitment is putting the cart before the hose. Thinking of using that app myself. I have a friend who met is current GF with it.
OH, first time poster in this thread. I have a feeling I might be posting here and in dating-Gaf thread seeing as how I'm trying to put myself back on the market. Just signed up for Match.com, got an email from a very cute girl, did some back-and-forth messaging but she kind of went radio silent so we'll see...worried my dry/sarcastic BS might have come across wrong.
It's PERFECTLY fine to state up front what you are looking for. I had a pretty awesome date on Friday with a woman who said that in her profile actually. Just phrase it in a way that you're not expecting anything right away. "I'm looking for a committed relationship, but first let's meet and see where things go" or a similar no-pressure way of putting it.
J
Jpop
Unconfirmed Member
From the girl I~m talking to right now on Tinder.
I actually don~t have a fantasy of being a little spoon, but I told her I had never been one before and low and behold.
Also for some reason I feel like she might be a little crazy, its sorta this gut feeling I got but Im going to meet up with her anyways.
I actually don~t have a fantasy of being a little spoon, but I told her I had never been one before and low and behold.
Also for some reason I feel like she might be a little crazy, its sorta this gut feeling I got but Im going to meet up with her anyways.
Just once it would be nice for a girl to write first. Just once...
Anyway, do women actually really look for a special introduction? I find it fucked up that the man is supposed to write first and come up with a clever ice breaker. You'd think we're both working towards the same goal.
I really need to hit that super like more, I'm having quite the success atm.
@Jpop definitely want to hear how this goes.
Anyway, do women actually really look for a special introduction? I find it fucked up that the man is supposed to write first and come up with a clever ice breaker. You'd think we're both working towards the same goal.
I really need to hit that super like more, I'm having quite the success atm.
@Jpop definitely want to hear how this goes.
lol anyone who expects you to be super clever right off the bat is probably not someone I'd be interested in. a simple opener works best. I get some shit for it here, but I really do just open with "hey" and complimenting their pictures or noticing something about them. Others use gifs on tinder and while that's not really my style I could see how that'd work. From there I of course try to make things more interesting if she's actually being responsive
And if a girl isn't putting any effort into the convo on her end, I usually lose interest.
J
Jpop
Unconfirmed Member
If a girl is interested in you she really isn~t gonna care about a super clever first response. It can even seem to try hard, if she is interested in you it doesnt hurt though.
Girls probably check out most profiles that send them a message and base if they will respond on the profile.
Usually I stick to asking about what their drink of choice is, tends to work out well and easily leads to branch off conversations.
Our previous few messages. She just seems way too eager, or maybe she really does just find me incredibly attractive.
Yeah, I usually just go "hey, how are you?" but right now I super liked someone, we matched immediately and it's kinda late (00:30AM), so I wrote something along the lines of "wow, that fast. still up aswell eh?"
So here we go again GAF.
But yeah, there's this other girl who just gives me two word answers and I won't write her anymore.
Does anyone have experience with the app Happn?
It's like a 3DS streetpass type of dating app, but I don't know really what people are looking for on it. Dating? Hookups? I'm more for dating but most profiles don't specify.
I get a ton of passes and profiles, so apparently a lot of people here in LA are using it. I have a feeling it's just for bangin' but my feelings are wrong only, like, 70% of the time.
It's like a 3DS streetpass type of dating app, but I don't know really what people are looking for on it. Dating? Hookups? I'm more for dating but most profiles don't specify.
I get a ton of passes and profiles, so apparently a lot of people here in LA are using it. I have a feeling it's just for bangin' but my feelings are wrong only, like, 70% of the time.
The Hamburglar
Banned
Since girls get many more likes than men why do they even bother matching if they won't speak lol?
Matched with one who actually spoke to me first with. A hi gif then never said anything after that. Fuck this app lol.
Matched with one who actually spoke to me first with. A hi gif then never said anything after that. Fuck this app lol.
That does seem weird. How long ago was that? Which app?
The girl I just matched with said good night...that's a first, lol.
J
Jpop
Unconfirmed Member
They may match based on your profile, or bio. There is also the chance that a lot of girls just swipe right on everyone and unmatch ghe guys they dont like.
Also they may have a ton of other conversations going on in the app that are more interesting so they forget about you.
ZackieChan
Member
That sounds like a good plan.
J
Jpop
Unconfirmed Member
When a girl asks why Im on tinder or something I generally reply.
Im looking for a little bit of everything, I like taking things as they come.
The Hamburglar
Banned
Well I'm specifically talking about tinder. How can a more interesting conversation be going on if it never started. And I don't just open with hi how are you.
ZackieChan
Member
A better looking guy, that is.
Will the Thrill
Banned
Yeah I can understand the girls who respond once then never again, but the girls who you match with then never respond can be little annoying, especially super likes! I actually find like 90% of my super likes like me back but then barely any of them actually respond (Hell, I try to make sure to say something clever or unique) Some probably just like the idea of it, so they aren't interested but it makes them feel better.
Speaking of conversations, I feel like even with the girls I've gone on dates with, getting to the point of a natural flowing conversation via text almost never happens. Like it ends up just me asking about stuff. Maybe everyone I've gotten far with are just not into texting?
Anyway, next Date is Tuesday and am actually having a good time talking to her via text. Plus instead of a dinner date I'm going to a park, should be fun.
Or they immediately find a better looking guy
Speaking of conversations, I feel like even with the girls I've gone on dates with, getting to the point of a natural flowing conversation via text almost never happens. Like it ends up just me asking about stuff. Maybe everyone I've gotten far with are just not into texting?
Anyway, next Date is Tuesday and am actually having a good time talking to her via text. Plus instead of a dinner date I'm going to a park, should be fun.
True Savior
Member
I wrote about it a few pages ago. It's pretty good. It's like Tinder if the distance is set to 1-2 miles. If you end up moving a bit, it's pretty cool. In here it's clearly the 2nd big dating app.
As for what it is, aren't most apps with the match system about banging? My happn dates were all pretty straightforward in what we intended to do, but it's probably just coincidence. The mindset is similar to Tinder.
20-50% of the profiles are also on Tinder though. It's cool to get rejected twice. I actually once saw a profile of a girl in both apps and sent a superlike and a charm (similar in Happn) in a couple of minutes. That was probably creepy. It's even creepier cause she works 200 meters next to me so she is always showing up in my happn feed (she probably blocked me right away). But I never saw her in person.
If those signs aren't enough for you, next time you might just ask her. Wanna have sex?
Cool. I read some pages but must've missed your post. I pretty much only like/heart the profiles that say they're looking to date or show more than just stupid duckface selfies. I'm at the point in my life where I'm not interested in just hook ups - more a nice coffee conversation, date, then hook up if it gets to that. Happn seems about 60/40 on that, I suppose Tinder is the same way but Tinder seems to lean more towards only hookups.
I feel like Bumble conversations are just disappearing. It's weird. I been super wishy-washy and flaky on actual;ly meeting people though I have a lot of opportunity. Confidence is still in the tank.
Nevermind. If you have it set to recent, only the most recent 5 convos show. =s
Nevermind. If you have it set to recent, only the most recent 5 convos show. =s
Texted her yesterday morning. No response yet. She might be a goner after the last date, but the last time I thought she was ghosting me she had just forgot and a follow up text got her to respond acting like everything was perfectly fine. This is the kind of girl who is super busy and gets notifications on her phone constantly so mine can get buried. It's driven me crazy all summer. Thursday was supposed to be our last meet before she left so I'd have to hear by tomorrow if it's still on. Thinking about texting her again since it worked last time, but I'm wondering if I'm better off just letting her go. Maybe we can rekindle things when she is back for good.
To those who have been following my crazy situation all summer, would you have given up by now? I mean, both of us could've bailed at any moment, but we didn't. We saw this thing all the way through. It had its ups and downs, but there has to be something here to drive two people to stick with this for months like we did despite everything holding it back from working. I really dug her, and I thought she dug me. We had some great conversations, and some great dates, but if I learned anything from this it's that I have no idea what I'm doing and the simplest mistake can ruin everything in this game which has left me on-edge for months now. The thoughts of it being over has felt relieving in a way. Not because I want her gone, but because I'm exhausted and need some finality to it.
The bright side is that I got some experience that I can take with me into future dates. Whenever those may be. I'm still amazed that I caught her attention in the first place which I think led to some attachment and maybe even a little obsession. Waiting for her responses started impacting my focus at work for awhile. It made me feel pathetic. I don't want to go through that for the entirety of her school year as well.
Typing all of this out has made me believe that I need to end it, but I don't want to burn a bridge for something in the future.
To those who have been following my crazy situation all summer, would you have given up by now? I mean, both of us could've bailed at any moment, but we didn't. We saw this thing all the way through. It had its ups and downs, but there has to be something here to drive two people to stick with this for months like we did despite everything holding it back from working. I really dug her, and I thought she dug me. We had some great conversations, and some great dates, but if I learned anything from this it's that I have no idea what I'm doing and the simplest mistake can ruin everything in this game which has left me on-edge for months now. The thoughts of it being over has felt relieving in a way. Not because I want her gone, but because I'm exhausted and need some finality to it.
The bright side is that I got some experience that I can take with me into future dates. Whenever those may be. I'm still amazed that I caught her attention in the first place which I think led to some attachment and maybe even a little obsession. Waiting for her responses started impacting my focus at work for awhile. It made me feel pathetic. I don't want to go through that for the entirety of her school year as well.
Typing all of this out has made me believe that I need to end it, but I don't want to burn a bridge for something in the future.
ZackieChan
Member
How many dates have you been on? Remind me
4 now. Maybe a 5th. +2 months of texting almost nightly.
ZackieChan
Member
You've probably written more about this girl than married couples have written about each other. You're way too invested in this extremely young relationship. It's time to back off and meet other people.
I've been feeling the same lately. I'm young and this was my first real dating experience so I feel like I got too attached.
Most of us would've bailed once we learned the girl was no longer in our town. We would have doubly bailed once we learned the girl would only be in the town for a month when she came back. You've stated you're new to dating and relationships...you won't get the experience you need through a LDR. They're entirely different beasts with their own set of issues.
And you want to know why it worked for months? The girl was in a city for two months, likely not knowing anyone. You were someone she could talk to on a reliable basis. And you were just happy to have anything.