ZackieChan
Member
No idea. I just googled "OMG gif" or something.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
No idea. I just googled "OMG gif" or something.
Second date went pretty great yesterday. We were both much more relaxed and comfortable around each other. No awkward silences this time.
We saw a movie, then she wanted to walk around for awhile, then we ate, and I kissed her after I took her home. It all went great, but I'm still feeling hesitant and it's caused me to hold back. I think it's a combination of my social anxiety, lack of dating experience, and the fact that she's leaving again soon. She's mentioned before that she can be impatient so I'm trying to fight through this and not screw it up.
We're going out again next week though so I haven't lost her interest yet.
We saw a movie, then she wanted to walk around for awhile, then we ate, and I kissed her after I took her home. It all went great, but I'm still feeling hesitant and it's caused me to hold back. I think it's a combination of my social anxiety, lack of dating experience, and the fact that she's leaving again soon. She's mentioned before that she can be impatient so I'm trying to fight through this and not screw it up.
We're going out again next week though so I haven't lost her interest yet.
Jawmuncher
Member
Good to hear.
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
I have posted in this thread sporadically as my online dating has been an off/on endeavor. Well, I finally met someone and things are going well. I met her offline at a ice cream shop a few weeks ago. It has been so much more natural than anyone that I have met online . The awkwardness hasn't been there and it doesn't feel like I am competing with every other guy in the world who may be messaging her. Good luck to everyone here.
In the end, online dating just wasn't for me. All the games you have to play to get some play just doesn't work for me.
In the end, online dating just wasn't for me. All the games you have to play to get some play just doesn't work for me.
Jawmuncher
Member
If you don't mind, could you share a little bit on how things went at the ice cream shop?
Is it a dumb move to give out your number instead of asking for it?
Been chatting with this one girl and it went from one message a day to three today. It's almost been a week and this has been slow so I said fuck it, she was online (almost 2am here) so I just sent it but now I think she might've been chatting with someone else, because she hadn't answered to my last text...
She seemed kinda reserved so I don't know if she's shy or what's the deal.
I'm so bad at this but I guess it's better to be a little forward rather than keep up this slow jerk, right?
Been chatting with this one girl and it went from one message a day to three today. It's almost been a week and this has been slow so I said fuck it, she was online (almost 2am here) so I just sent it but now I think she might've been chatting with someone else, because she hadn't answered to my last text...
She seemed kinda reserved so I don't know if she's shy or what's the deal.
I'm so bad at this but I guess it's better to be a little forward rather than keep up this slow jerk, right?
ZackieChan
Member
That's weird. I do a lot of online dating, and don't play a lot of "games" or have much awkwardness. Maybe the fault lies in your approach to online dating, or maybe where you live?
While I have met (and dated) some lunatics from online dating, I've never played any games or been met with awkwardness. I honestly think the experiences people have with it are based on location, what app/site they used and their approach. Outside of the fact that it explores outside of one's social circles, I really don't think it's all that different from offline dating. Especially since ever girl I've dated or hooked up with from meeting organically has done or is doing online dating.
Playing devil's advocate to myself- statistically speaking, a girl who isn't doing any online dating will have far less options and be more inclined to be swooned by whoever walks her way.
Tuturu Jones
Neo Member
Funny little app, too bad the closest girl was 300km away.
Hahaha, I'm feeling a bit of online dating fatigue lately and my wallet is super tight for the rest of the month but I'll give it a download and see what happens next month. Pretty sure that being in a dense city will get bites. Funny enough, I've been talking to a chick who's into kinky stuff on OKC.
Not at all! I do this all the time opposed to asking girls for their number after several exchanges. It takes the pressure off of me. Most of the time, they'll text me but sometimes they'll give me their number to text them first. Sometimes I don't get any texts at all in which case, it doesn't bother me at all.
So I've been lurking in this thread too much lately. Went on a board game date last week with a thick girl from Tinder. She looked like her pics but gave me a bit of a cold vibe partly due to me arriving late so I haven't contacted her since last week. The date only lasted about 2.5 hours in total; 40 minutes talking outside the place while waiting for a table; the rest time. I don't think a board game cafe first date is a good idea for a first date unless either/both parties are board game geeks. Plus she got a bit annoyed at a few games we played since we didn't play them by the rules. She cut it short since she had to go meet up with friends so it was shorter than I thought. Luckily, I made the best of it and summoned my own company after she left.
Went on a date earlier today but it was another short one that lasted about an hour since she had to meet up with friends. This time it was an Indian girl from CMB who looked like Mindy Kaling in her neighborhood. She claimed that she had a hard time understanding what I said which was odd since that's never happened to me before on a date but perhaps that was my way of masking my nervousness. She was a bit awkward and sounded bummed out when she asked me why I postponed the date by an hour. It was a very dry conversation with both of us sitting across from each other. I might follow up with her and ask her out again but not for 2 weeks while I recuperate some of my losses.
Otherwise, it's been a lot of back and forths on a few platforms, some flakes either by me or girls, and your usual messages that fizzle out or accounts that suddenly deactivate. My dry spell anniversary is coming up next week. I have a date on Monday and possibly another one on Tuesday so walking through parks will be the name of the frugal dating game. After that, I'm taking a short break from dating until the second week of September.
Jawmuncher
Member
Tinder has been acting weird for me lately. The app gives me people to swipe and right in the middle of swiping it'll say no one near me. Then closing and opening the app brings people up again and it does the same thing. Already deleted and reinstalled it so I'm just gonna take it as my area reconfirming that it sucks for this sort of thing.
Yeah, turns out it was the right move. She didnt text me directly but now she did start asking me questions (as a condition for moving to whatsapp).
Getting somewhere.
I thought that was normal lol.
Dear GAF...
Please excuse the double post but I need help. Basically I gave her a pic of me today and now she gave me a pic and quite honestly she's not attractive. That's just how it is, that's what every cell of my body screams. Then I added her number because who knows, maybe her whatsapp picture would be better, right?
The thing is she had one pic in her profile and looked pretty good. She was wearing winter clothes and it was just her upper face, black and white.
So I started fantisizing about what she looks like for over a week now, I filled in the blanks and now I want out. I felt kinda shit there for a moment and I must seem like an asshole but there's no attraction. We're not really compatible either and she also scoffed at me playing videogames (though in a joking matter, but still).
What is the best way to get out of this cleanly? What is the best chicken shit way?
I even gave her my last name...what is wrong with me. Back to porn.
Please excuse the double post but I need help. Basically I gave her a pic of me today and now she gave me a pic and quite honestly she's not attractive. That's just how it is, that's what every cell of my body screams. Then I added her number because who knows, maybe her whatsapp picture would be better, right?
Nope.
So I started fantisizing about what she looks like for over a week now, I filled in the blanks and now I want out. I felt kinda shit there for a moment and I must seem like an asshole but there's no attraction. We're not really compatible either and she also scoffed at me playing videogames (though in a joking matter, but still).
What is the best way to get out of this cleanly? What is the best chicken shit way?
I even gave her my last name...what is wrong with me. Back to porn.
Dear GAF...
Please excuse the double post but I need help. Basically I gave her a pic of me today and now she gave me a pic and quite honestly she's not attractive. That's just how it is, that's what every cell of my body screams. Then I added her number because who knows, maybe her whatsapp picture would be better, right?The thing is she had one pic in her profile and looked pretty good. She was wearing winter clothes and it was just her upper face, black and white.Nope.
So I started fantisizing about what she looks like for over a week now, I filled in the blanks and now I want out. I felt kinda shit there for a moment and I must seem like an asshole but there's no attraction. We're not really compatible either and she also scoffed at me playing videogames (though in a joking matter, but still).
What is the best way to get out of this cleanly? What is the best chicken shit way?
I even gave her my last name...what is wrong with me. Back to porn.
It really is very very simple: stop talking to her. There is no good way of getting out of it.
True Savior
Member
I think if there's a bigger showing of the person's appearance and the other person stops talking right away, it's not hard to understand why it happened (I've given my facebook and some girls stopped talking right after it lmao). Just don't be very expansive, start to kill the conversation with time. If she asks you for something (going out, etc), just politely decline.
ZackieChan
Member
Yep, just slowly ghost out of her life. It really isn't that hard.
CmB has led to some nice dates for me. Girls there seem to be looking for real relationships. FB or email doesn't matter. I don't think it posts to your Facebook. Just makes it easier to log in.
I know what you meant, but visualizing a photo of her upper face (forehead only lol?) and you extrapolating from there gave me a chuckle.
ZackieChan
Member
That's basically porn to you, dude
😏 You know me too well. I need to get some tinder matches with upper face chicks only asap
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
The Facebook thing has happened to me as well, and while it's certainly unpleasant, I wonder if the alternative is not worse. I mean nobody likes being rejected or feeling unattractive but isn't it sometimes better in the long term to know why? Rejection by a single person could be meaningless but if there's a recurring pattern there's an opportunity to learn something about yourself. And if you can figure out what it is about you some people find unattractive there's a chance you can work on it. This is especially true for physique, dress-style, hair style etc.
True Savior
Member
I'm not gonna tell girls why I find them unattractive. Not my place.
And most of the time is not something you can just change.
You see her face but she was doing something with her mouth, basically tucking it to the side.
It looked pretty good to me and it's probably why it's her only one. Now she's constantly online btw after half-ignoring me for a week.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
only if asked, of course. But if it's something unchangeable that makes it problematic. I do wonder which group is ultimately happier, the ones that know or the ones that don't.
ajfoucault
Member
Match.com worked super well for me. If you're looking for a serious relationship, that's the place to go.
Zoosk was nice, but the interface sucks.
Zoosk was nice, but the interface sucks.
Really?? Congrats on it working for you. I'm a magician at online dating but Match.com was a complete dud for me. Only got two dates out of a month on it. One was with a girl who I had a mutual friend and revealed she was a lesbian who was faking it for a man to bring home to her parents for thanksgiving. The second was the most boring date I've ever had in my life. I had to actually sit down and think about my filtering process after that.
I mean I been telling people this
ajfoucault
Member
I also had my share of lousy dates. I went out with 10 girls from the website, yet couldn't find what I was looking for.
Jawmuncher
Member
Match and Zoosk are pay monthly right?
ZackieChan
Member
I'm gonna guess that they just get a shit load of messages. Not everything is a game.
Attractive women on okc get inundated with messages. It's not surprising that their mailboxes might be full, because they can get several messages a day easily. Go a week or two without logging in and clearing out your inbox and it wouldn't even be hard to hit the limit.
There's even an old oktrends blog post that talks about it: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/
lol yeah. I messaged a girl, the only one I'd noticed had "casual sex" in her profile. Unsurprisingly her inbox was full.
I actually wasn't messaging her about sex. Her profile was hilarious.
Seriously.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
The last girl I met from okc was very attractive. While we were having a (1-2 hour) chat on the site she literally got 30+ additional messages from new guys. That's the worst I've ever heard but in her case I imagine just keeping the inbox from filling up is an effort. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if women in her position let their inbox fill up and only delete a message or two before sending one out themselves to the person of their choice. It's a good way to stay on top of things.
edit: to clarify, not intended as a stealth brag. it lasted only one date.
edit: to clarify, not intended as a stealth brag. it lasted only one date.
Actually, I think my original premise might be right, because I starred the lady who starred me, and was able to send her a message without paying. Making OkCupid a little more Tinder.
I think the idea of paying for a site that statistically should work less frequently than Okcupid (due to non-paying members being unable to respond to you) didn't jive well with me in addition to the bad dates I went on. I also kept seeing women on Match also be on Okcupid so I figured I may as well stick to Okcupid.
It's a pain to delete messages, especially if it gets clogged with "you've got a match!" I don't like to delete messages from girls I've actually met so my inbox has gotten full.
The worst is deleting the last couple of sent messages that haven't been responded to and then the girl responds to it a week later. Then I'm sitting there trying to figure out what the hell my opening message was that prompted that response from her. I imagine the issue of clogged inboxes is magnified a million times over for women. But I could definitely see some people doing what you suggested. I have a friend who only messages guys she swiped on Quickmatch and ignores everything else.
True Savior
Member
It's been there for quite a while. If you were able to swipe indefinitely probably there was something with your connection and most of the swipes didn't really occurred.
Well the app has been acting weird for me in general since I started frequently using it again.
Just yesterday, every person I unmatched ever appeared on my deck one after the other
How curious
EDIT: Apparently it's 100 Likes per 12 hrs? Well, that explains a lot. My deck usually runs out quick AND I'm a very picky swiper.
ZackieChan
Member
Maybe you accidently paid them
I just tried this out on a girl on Tinder. Will let you know how it goes but this seems to be working so far.
EDIT: Only got an lol. Either she's oblivious or she's not interested.
On another note: Went on another date on Monday and it didn't go well so that's that. Girl said there wasn't any chemistry but I think I've gone through so many rejections and dates this year, that at this point, it's not even surprising and I know when I tanked a date.
Know what I need to fix from that date; talk too much about myself, impatient to listen; get nervous on dates which leads to either talking too fast or talking a ton about myself; not making much physical moves beyond arm touching; talking about nerdy stuff first, other interests second. I think I really need a break from online dating. Two steps back and one step forward. Also, don't date girls who are originally nally from Long Island.
i feel you bro
Okay so I thought date number 3 was going really well. We ate dinner and both started opening up a bit to each other during our conversation. Past relationships, family histories, etc. I thought that was a good sign. Then we went back to the car and I asked her how she was feeling about this since she would be leaving town soon and we needed to make a decision about pursuing this. She said she was feeling really good about it. I told her I was too, and shared my few concerns. It was a little awkward, but she seemed okay with it. I felt good after getting that off of my chest.
After that, we watched the sunset while listening to music. She has a fantastic voice. I don't think I've ever felt better than I was in that moment just sitting there listening to her sing thinking that she was into me. We drove to the park after that to see the stars. She was sending some clear signals for me to kiss her. I was nervous at first, but eventually we did. We made out for awhile. Then went to the car and made out some more. She seemed to really like it. Then I took her home, and mentioned how hard it was going to be to wait for her to get back. She didn't talk the entire trip home. Very unlike her, she's usually pretty chatty and energetic.
It's been a few days now since I've heard from her. I even sent her a text and no response. I guess I'm just trying to figure out what went wrong. She's forgotten to text me before, but that was back when she was out of town and super busy. I'm wondering if I should send another text tomorrow.
After that, we watched the sunset while listening to music. She has a fantastic voice. I don't think I've ever felt better than I was in that moment just sitting there listening to her sing thinking that she was into me. We drove to the park after that to see the stars. She was sending some clear signals for me to kiss her. I was nervous at first, but eventually we did. We made out for awhile. Then went to the car and made out some more. She seemed to really like it. Then I took her home, and mentioned how hard it was going to be to wait for her to get back. She didn't talk the entire trip home. Very unlike her, she's usually pretty chatty and energetic.
It's been a few days now since I've heard from her. I even sent her a text and no response. I guess I'm just trying to figure out what went wrong. She's forgotten to text me before, but that was back when she was out of town and super busy. I'm wondering if I should send another text tomorrow.
My take on this: she's distancing herself to make leaving your less hurtful for both of you. I was in pretty much this exact scenario about a year ago, when a girl I was dating (for about 3 months) was leaving to do voluntary work in SE Asia for 4 months. Initially she seemed positive to the idea of keeping in touch, while I was the opposite - I thought that would never work. Eventually though I caught feelings for her, but she had swung the other direction. The three or so weeks before she was leaving she was very distant, barely responded to texts, couldn't meet ever, and when I finally called her out on not being able to meet, she was like "nah I don't think it's gonna work, bye". Later I also found out that she had met someone at a party while we were dating, and that she was secretly waiting for him instead of me. Sucked at the time but I got over it.
I don't mean to paint a doomsday scenario here but this is what I think is going on.
Will the Thrill
Banned
Tinder has been the only app/online thing I've gotten any success on. Okcupid, nothing, PoF nothing ect.. Not complaing since I'm getting dates finally but still odd. I would've expected opposite results tbh. 9 times out of 10 on Okcupid I never get a response (Even with people who mutually like me) and the 1 time they do, it's always such a low effort response idk why they bothered. Oh well, I've got two more tinder dates planned for the upcoming week, and I've been on 4 this whole summer since I never updated in this thread a while back. (4 dates in one summer is more than my entire life lol)