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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
Last night I got messaged by an attractive 30 year old blonde who's an art teacher on OKC. Normally I'm wary of receiving unsolicited messages since they're usually too good to be true based on past experience and don't lead to anything. However, even though her profile doesn't have proper punctuation and she only answered a tiny handful of questions from the lifestyle category, it sounded pretty legit and her message was genuine/verbose (she liked my profile and noted that we both had wild hair; I had to do a double take and reread my profile).
In her profile she mentioned that she doesn't spend much time online and would prefer to meet up to see if there's chemistry. She also indicated this in her message and mentioned that she lives in the next neighborhood over from mines and would like to meet up. The cynic in me still says that it might be too good to be true but then again, I've been proven wrong by girls and surprised. Let's see how she responds since I said that I would be down meet up with her and noted that we have a bunch of things in common.
My only other updates are that I deleted my CMB to reboot it at some point and I haven't contacted the girl I met up with on Friday night. I'm a bit scared of getting rejected on top of being of two minds of the date; she was funny which is a quality I love and easy on the eyes but I don't think we had much in common beyond liking museums and a couple of mutual venues. I would still be willing to give it a second shot since the first date is usually awkward.
In her profile she mentioned that she doesn't spend much time online and would prefer to meet up to see if there's chemistry. She also indicated this in her message and mentioned that she lives in the next neighborhood over from mines and would like to meet up. The cynic in me still says that it might be too good to be true but then again, I've been proven wrong by girls and surprised. Let's see how she responds since I said that I would be down meet up with her and noted that we have a bunch of things in common.
My only other updates are that I deleted my CMB to reboot it at some point and I haven't contacted the girl I met up with on Friday night. I'm a bit scared of getting rejected on top of being of two minds of the date; she was funny which is a quality I love and easy on the eyes but I don't think we had much in common beyond liking museums and a couple of mutual venues. I would still be willing to give it a second shot since the first date is usually awkward.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
If her account is relatively new she may have taken the initiative and messaged her matches first before the inevitable flood of "hey gurl".
Reply ASAP before her inbox becomes full.
Reply ASAP before her inbox becomes full.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I've had plenty of unsolicited messages, but few from anyone worth replying to. Plus, it's definitely the older set of women who are down to meet up and see if anything's there. Then again, the girl I'm seeing now asked me out for coffee/drinks after like, message #2, and she's 26.
Some people rightfully recognize online dating as complete bullshit and want to move past the idiocy of extended pre-date banter.
No worries! She gave me her number and asked me out to meet up tonight for beers at a neighborhood bar. I wasn't expecting to go on a date so soon but I texted her several minutes ago following up on plans for tonight. Considering that I'm going to be busy for the next couple of days, I'd figure to oblige tonight while her interest is high. I'm still in a bit of disbelief to be honest. And here my mom keeps pestering me to cut off my long, tangled hair when it's actually gotten me dates!If her account is relatively new she may have taken the initiative and messaged her matches first before the inevitable flood of "hey gurl".
Reply ASAP before her inbox becomes full.
^^@AD, I agree and to be honest, that's what makes online dating a chore. If one cuts off the fat of chatting online for a few days and just gives the number with the intention to meet up, it saves so much time. When a conversation with a girl is getting too chatty, I usually give them my number first. I've gotten other unsolicited messages from girls but I either wasn't interested or procrastinated on replying for a few weeks.
Update: She replied and wants to meet in a few hours. Said she's very excited to meet me. I'll keep my expectations in check but I'm feeling pretty good going into this date.
Every time I try that Smart Photo thingie it always picks the same photo as my cover (not the one I set manually) and my matches always seem to decrease after that. So I turned it off.
Date went well. She wanted to keep talking but had to get up for work early. I acted awkward in the end and didn't try to make out with her so I got two hugs and she said that she wanted to do it again before we parted ways.
Unfortunately, I won't get to see her until next year because she's going to be super busy next week and is going to be out of town for two weeks on Wednesday. I think she was being coy about her availability but I respect it. I'll follow up with her tomorrow and then leave her be for a couple of weeks. It's expected as dating in December is tough. =/
Unfortunately, I won't get to see her until next year because she's going to be super busy next week and is going to be out of town for two weeks on Wednesday. I think she was being coy about her availability but I respect it. I'll follow up with her tomorrow and then leave her be for a couple of weeks. It's expected as dating in December is tough. =/
I've been at this for a couple of years now and only manage to get dates over the summer when colleges are out. This is my first time trying it out over winter break. We'll see how it goes. The rest of the year, the OKC and Tinder pool are drier than my last date after she saw me.
What are gaf's thoughts on autolikers? I'm trying it for a bit to see how it goes.
What are gaf's thoughts on autolikers? I'm trying it for a bit to see how it goes.
Women are looking to snuggle up during the winter depending on where you live especially leading up to Valentine's Day. The holidays are going to be tough though.
I think the auto liker sounds like a bad idea unless you want to be matched up with loads of bots on Tinder. On OKC there's a lower probability of getting bots but you never know. On the other hand, it'll be interesting to see what kind of results you get.
EDIT: She replied. It sounded favorably! I need to stop second guessing myself. She thanked me for going out my way to meet her which is odd but okay. I guess it's a good sign.
I also ended up messaging a girl who visitied my profile with emojis since she only listed her 6 favorite emojis. She responded back with emojis funny enough. This should be interesting.
True Savior
Member
Not autolike, but I used to swipe right a whole lot more (like 80% vs the current 20%) and get a lot more matches but it can be quite a chore. Too many profiles, too many conversations, and you just can go on a date with one girl at a time (well technically its possible more than 1 and I thank Feeld for that), so, after a while it gets to be a bit excessive.
thesoapster
Member
Hmm. About how long do you typically wait after a conversation has been going before asking someone out? I've read every position, but haven't really found any reasoning favoring sooner or later. Is it basically no different than talking in-person, or does more (or something different) go into it?
Asking someone out within 15 messages is a good general purpose rule. Online dating has more flakes than Tony the Tiger, don't waste your time getting to know a girl who has no intentions of meeting you. Instead, search for compatible personalities and mutual attraction. The first meet will tell you more about your chemistry than a month of texting.
thesoapster
Member
Thinking I will just disable again. I'm not fully sure why I thought I could have a different result this time 'round.
I will try again if I find myself with the same lack of options after losing the weight, traveling more (with more photos to go with all of it), etc.
At this rate I'm just not passing the most basic of assessments.
I will try again if I find myself with the same lack of options after losing the weight, traveling more (with more photos to go with all of it), etc.
At this rate I'm just not passing the most basic of assessments.
inked_illusion
Member
Man it's been a long time since I've been in neogaf, definitely missed out on a lot of things did I haha.
Ever since I got amino app, I learned pretty much everything about dating and flirting over the course of two months, I've managed to find an online girlfriend and broken hearts along the way. I started out with zero flirting skills and ended up becoming a natural haha.
This isn't a sponsorship for amino, but all I'm saying is sometimes you have to look at unexpected places to find what you're looking for whether it'd be friends or love.
There is a catch that most of the people in amino are still in high school and each amino depends on the commitment of the members. Anyways, just giving my two cents. To whoever mentioned amino on this thread, I thank you for literally changing my life in more ways than one. I owe it to you man. I'll probably come back again later haha.
Ever since I got amino app, I learned pretty much everything about dating and flirting over the course of two months, I've managed to find an online girlfriend and broken hearts along the way. I started out with zero flirting skills and ended up becoming a natural haha.
This isn't a sponsorship for amino, but all I'm saying is sometimes you have to look at unexpected places to find what you're looking for whether it'd be friends or love.
There is a catch that most of the people in amino are still in high school and each amino depends on the commitment of the members. Anyways, just giving my two cents. To whoever mentioned amino on this thread, I thank you for literally changing my life in more ways than one. I owe it to you man. I'll probably come back again later haha.
TimeEffect
Member
Dammit Im hvaing a shit convo on tinder
Whats a good question or statement to pop to turn it around
Whats a good question or statement to pop to turn it around
I'm going to Wendy's. Do you want anything?
TimeEffect
Member
^ Ha
Whats a good description to put for my bio? I made a one liner that I think is okay but it seems to also say nothing at all about me. I dont want to sound too serious but I also dont want to list off my boring interests
Id like to maybe mention Im reading harry potter for my first time but that sounds lame. Id like to list a fave book or two but I dont know if people have read them and I feel it sounds too boring
Whats a good description to put for my bio? I made a one liner that I think is okay but it seems to also say nothing at all about me. I dont want to sound too serious but I also dont want to list off my boring interests
Id like to maybe mention Im reading harry potter for my first time but that sounds lame. Id like to list a fave book or two but I dont know if people have read them and I feel it sounds too boring
Be funny. If you can't be funny, be brief.
Your pics will do most of the talking for you. Abuse that. If you want to advertise your favorite book, take a pic of you reading that book, or a pic of you doing something else with that book in the background.
TimeEffect
Member
I have no idea how to set these pics up. I dont really take pics with my friends, its just not something I do. So I have like 2 pics taken from someone else, and then everything else has to be selfies which feels too vain for a man.
I also dont want to copy-paste some funny thing from somewhere else
Am I overthinking? Should I take some lame pics with something like a book in the background? I have no idea how to do something like that
Man the OKC app's new update sucks! It looks more like Tinder's UI now in that they have a tab fthat emphasizes Quickmatch. They merged the visitors with the Likes tab so now you have to click on the star and scroll all the way to the right to your visitors tab. It's incredibly cumbersome as a result. Heck, it seems like they hid the Activity tab within another menu. While profiles load faster, it's not a good update otherwise.
I would recommend not updating it at all costs. Unfortunately, that's not much of an option for me because I tried uninstalling and reinstalling it and the damn update is still there. I might have to delete the data from my phone to see if that helps or download an older version from a website.
I would recommend not updating it at all costs. Unfortunately, that's not much of an option for me because I tried uninstalling and reinstalling it and the damn update is still there. I might have to delete the data from my phone to see if that helps or download an older version from a website.
True Savior
Member
As long as you look decent, any photo goes. I use to have normal pics and all that stuff but I looked terrible in them. Now half of my profile is me in sleeveless shirts (which is actually my pajama), some are even selfies and the matches skyrocketed. Why? Cause I look better in them. So the main point is, take a bunch of photos, a bunch of selfies, different contexts, whatever. Look at them and pick the ones you look better. Whatever it is. That's the only Tinder rule. Be beautiful. If it's not possible (like me), try not to look terrible.
As for the description, don't overthink. Something simple. No schmaltzy/inspiration quotes. I have (shamelessly) stolen the idea from gaf and now I have lenny face in there. Fucking lenny face.
Let's rewind a bit. On Tinder, pics will do most of the initial talking for you. If there's some aspect of your personality you feel is important to advertise, do it in your pics. If that means staging a pic of you next to a copy of your favorite book, then stage a pic of you next to a copy of your favorite book.
You're not the first person to say "it's just not something I do", when it comes to taking pics, and you won't be the last. I say the same thing to everyone - Make it something you do. If you want to take some pics of yourself that don't look like selfies, invest in a gorillapod for your phone and a camera app with a timer.
For text, you could just write the lead to an interesting story of yours. There's a poster here who could put down "I once had my cookies stolen by Joe Biden. No, seriously! He ganked my snickerdoodles!"
TimeEffect
Member
Thanks guys. Im a teacher so i want to avoid the lennyface because it feels suggestive
Same reason i want to avoid selfies as i think it makes me look unprofessional. Id love to get some opinions on my pics if i can pm some of you
Maybe get some advice on my looks, i feel my eyebrows ate a problem
I think my pics are ok... i worry my one liner just makes it hard to catch women who may look for something a little more serious
Maybe i just need the description to pick up the slack
Maybe my current one liner isnt as funny as i thought either lol
Same reason i want to avoid selfies as i think it makes me look unprofessional. Id love to get some opinions on my pics if i can pm some of you
Maybe get some advice on my looks, i feel my eyebrows ate a problem
I think my pics are ok... i worry my one liner just makes it hard to catch women who may look for something a little more serious
Maybe i just need the description to pick up the slack
Maybe my current one liner isnt as funny as i thought either lol
Good grief this thread's title could not be more on-point. After nearly two months on Match I finally managed engage a girl in a conversation. It was going really well (I was maybe one message away from asking her out) but then she just sort of stopped messaging me. Sigh.
I need to branch out into other dating sites/apps, because Match is giving me nothing .
I need to branch out into other dating sites/apps, because Match is giving me nothing .
It wouldn't hurt to send a second message IMHO if they stop replying. Either that or give them your number/ask them out already. Women get messages left and right so messages get lost in the sea. I need to update the OP with the Feeld app.
ZackieChan
Member
Isn't that the one that another poster said was mostly high school kids? Maybe that was in Dating thread.
Kinky stuff and open relationship stuff son. It makes me feel uncomfortable in some capacity since it encourages to use fake names.
True Savior
Member
It's the threesome app.
When I was in usa this month, feeld had a bunch of juggalo looking people looking for threesomes mainly.
ZackieChan
Member
You don't say...
True Savior
Member
What the hell is a juggalo.
ZackieChan
Member
NeoGAF's Dinokill. At least his avatar.
Lessons I learned from dating last year:
-Just because the girl messages first and leads to a date doesn't mean that there will be chemistry on said date. I learned that firsthand in a number of instances last year.
-Don't ever ask a girl if they want to make out. Never again.
-I don't like shy girls at all. It's frustrating and it requires more effort to get them to come out of their shell. I'm staying far away from them this year.
-Don't over explain your job/talk about it especially if the person is coming from work. I do a lot of freelance and volunteer work while I figure myself out. Talking about jobs can be awkward topic when the last thing the person wants to talk about is work.
-Don't ever go on dates back to back if I'm not feeling good about it. Instead offer to postpone it to another day to give myself time to recover. Coming from a good date to a bad date to another date altered my mood/mindset going into it.
-Don't give myself any minor excuses to dismiss and ghost girls. I went out with a bunch of cool girls that could have led to something more if I asked them out a second time. Sure, some of them weren't all that physically attractive or lacked a quality that I like but they made up for it in other ways. Likewise, just because I felt like I tanked the initial date doesn't mean I should delete the number and move on. I'm not meeting my future wife so it's as easy as that.
-Be honest with myself about not wanting to go on a date with someone I'm not feeling it with and don't be afraid to state as such. I flaked on a girl back in September because I wasn't feeling it. I got annoyed with her because of scheduling issues and moved on. There was another girl who's number I got that was needy and got angry when I didn't respond for a while. It reminded me of my mom which is a bad quality.
-If I know I'm running late or I'm underground, let the person know. I did a good job last year but I'm going to take punctuality even more seriously. Unfortunately, some girls didn't take too kindly to that so I think I need to look for girls who are more patient/understanding.
-Don't procrastinate on a message from a potential person that seems interesting but at the same time, it's okay to be picky. While it's nice to have an inbox full of matches, it feels overwhelming to have to click on a profile, look through the pictures/profile, and conjure up a message (on OKC).
-Take more interesting pictures in interesting places. One of my most memorable messages exchanges I got into was about me inquiring about a picture. It led to the girl telling me that it was in some place in the city which led me to a scavenger hunt on Google to figure it out. My reward was a date with that girl showing me the place in the picture. It didn't work out because the girl cited distance issues and being super busy but I still remember the message.
-Accept the fact that one is desirable as a person and sexually. I'm a pretty attractive guy but sometimes I didn't feel confident/comfortable which led to me overthinking things. It's okay to be congruent with I want through my body language and actions.
-If a girl give you her number with the hint that you ask her out to coffee, don't beat around the bush when you text the girl and fluff talk. One of my early mistakes last year involved the aforementioned scenario. Needless to say, the girl in question got frustrated with me and cut me loose. I went from a period of being super chatty through texts to being more cool about it but I always brought up the plans at some point. These days I prefer not to be super chatty with girls through text and use it as a bridge to a face to face meeting.
-If a girl says "I don't know when I'm going to be free," it's a light way of saying that they're not interested in meeting up again. As the old dating adage goes, if a person is interested, they will make time to meet up.
-Be fully present in the moment and listen. I had too many instances on dates where I was thinking about something else that was on my mind in the moment. It led to girls being confused at times because I wasn't actively interested in what they had to say in the moment.
-Don't get invested in a girl so quickly especially after having sex with them once. I think this one is going to take me a while to overcome.
-Slow down my speech pattern for someone who might not be used to speaking to me. I learned in a few instances that some girls had a hard time understanding me. Thoughts need to be communicated clearly and efficiently, not mumbled out.
-Bail out when there isn't any chemistry or I'm getting bored. This is in the OP but I can't emphasize how important it is to be honest with oneself and fold early.
-If a girl is super into me to the point where there's loads of touching going on, don't delay the inevitable. Back in November, I got a huge ego stroke after going on a date with this one girl who was pretty much DTF but when she saw that I put it off, she lost interest and went home alone. I knew this and didn't make an effort to reach out to her for another date.
-Older women are pretty cool and have interesting life experiences. I opened myself to dating older women after previously finding them intimidating and learned a good deal about myself in the process. Age is nothing but a number.
-Seriously DO NOT OVERTHINK THINGS.
I think that's almost all of my points. I think that overall, I gained a significant amount of dating experience last year than previous years. It was draining at times with the dozens of rejections that I went through whether indirect or direct. I think that this year I might make a Medium account to chronicle my dating experiences for fun. God luck to everyone dating this year. The key important thing is to be persistent and keep going on more dates.
-Just because the girl messages first and leads to a date doesn't mean that there will be chemistry on said date. I learned that firsthand in a number of instances last year.
-Don't ever ask a girl if they want to make out. Never again.
-I don't like shy girls at all. It's frustrating and it requires more effort to get them to come out of their shell. I'm staying far away from them this year.
-Don't over explain your job/talk about it especially if the person is coming from work. I do a lot of freelance and volunteer work while I figure myself out. Talking about jobs can be awkward topic when the last thing the person wants to talk about is work.
-Don't ever go on dates back to back if I'm not feeling good about it. Instead offer to postpone it to another day to give myself time to recover. Coming from a good date to a bad date to another date altered my mood/mindset going into it.
-Don't give myself any minor excuses to dismiss and ghost girls. I went out with a bunch of cool girls that could have led to something more if I asked them out a second time. Sure, some of them weren't all that physically attractive or lacked a quality that I like but they made up for it in other ways. Likewise, just because I felt like I tanked the initial date doesn't mean I should delete the number and move on. I'm not meeting my future wife so it's as easy as that.
-Be honest with myself about not wanting to go on a date with someone I'm not feeling it with and don't be afraid to state as such. I flaked on a girl back in September because I wasn't feeling it. I got annoyed with her because of scheduling issues and moved on. There was another girl who's number I got that was needy and got angry when I didn't respond for a while. It reminded me of my mom which is a bad quality.
-If I know I'm running late or I'm underground, let the person know. I did a good job last year but I'm going to take punctuality even more seriously. Unfortunately, some girls didn't take too kindly to that so I think I need to look for girls who are more patient/understanding.
-Don't procrastinate on a message from a potential person that seems interesting but at the same time, it's okay to be picky. While it's nice to have an inbox full of matches, it feels overwhelming to have to click on a profile, look through the pictures/profile, and conjure up a message (on OKC).
-Take more interesting pictures in interesting places. One of my most memorable messages exchanges I got into was about me inquiring about a picture. It led to the girl telling me that it was in some place in the city which led me to a scavenger hunt on Google to figure it out. My reward was a date with that girl showing me the place in the picture. It didn't work out because the girl cited distance issues and being super busy but I still remember the message.
-Accept the fact that one is desirable as a person and sexually. I'm a pretty attractive guy but sometimes I didn't feel confident/comfortable which led to me overthinking things. It's okay to be congruent with I want through my body language and actions.
-If a girl give you her number with the hint that you ask her out to coffee, don't beat around the bush when you text the girl and fluff talk. One of my early mistakes last year involved the aforementioned scenario. Needless to say, the girl in question got frustrated with me and cut me loose. I went from a period of being super chatty through texts to being more cool about it but I always brought up the plans at some point. These days I prefer not to be super chatty with girls through text and use it as a bridge to a face to face meeting.
-If a girl says "I don't know when I'm going to be free," it's a light way of saying that they're not interested in meeting up again. As the old dating adage goes, if a person is interested, they will make time to meet up.
-Be fully present in the moment and listen. I had too many instances on dates where I was thinking about something else that was on my mind in the moment. It led to girls being confused at times because I wasn't actively interested in what they had to say in the moment.
-Don't get invested in a girl so quickly especially after having sex with them once. I think this one is going to take me a while to overcome.
-Slow down my speech pattern for someone who might not be used to speaking to me. I learned in a few instances that some girls had a hard time understanding me. Thoughts need to be communicated clearly and efficiently, not mumbled out.
-Bail out when there isn't any chemistry or I'm getting bored. This is in the OP but I can't emphasize how important it is to be honest with oneself and fold early.
-If a girl is super into me to the point where there's loads of touching going on, don't delay the inevitable. Back in November, I got a huge ego stroke after going on a date with this one girl who was pretty much DTF but when she saw that I put it off, she lost interest and went home alone. I knew this and didn't make an effort to reach out to her for another date.
-Older women are pretty cool and have interesting life experiences. I opened myself to dating older women after previously finding them intimidating and learned a good deal about myself in the process. Age is nothing but a number.
-Seriously DO NOT OVERTHINK THINGS.
I think that's almost all of my points. I think that overall, I gained a significant amount of dating experience last year than previous years. It was draining at times with the dozens of rejections that I went through whether indirect or direct. I think that this year I might make a Medium account to chronicle my dating experiences for fun. God luck to everyone dating this year. The key important thing is to be persistent and keep going on more dates.
Hey_Blinkin
Member
Match seems kind of shady. In the three days since I canceled my subscription I've received more "interests" and messages than I normally receive in over a month. Seems like one hell of a coincidence.
Overall my experience in online dating over the first 3 months have been pretty positive. As someone who is very shy and socially awkward it's hard for me to meet women the usual ways. It's definitely been a learning experience.
Overall my experience in online dating over the first 3 months have been pretty positive. As someone who is very shy and socially awkward it's hard for me to meet women the usual ways. It's definitely been a learning experience.
So I matched with this girl on tinder once, but a week went by with no response from her. I needed a break at the time so I deleted my account for awhile. I recently reopened it and matched with her again. Still no responses. She didn't have anything written on her bio so I thought it was a fake account, but I had seen her on other dating sites in the past and decided to do some detective work. She's on social media and her work's website. Seems like she's real, but just shy or unsure I guess? I'll give her more time, but I hate this ghosting.
In other news, auto-likers are helping a lot. It's like having all of the girls walk up to me at a bar instead. I get matches more consistently, and just message the ones I'm interested in. I never have to spend time swiping through the app which just made it easy to be picky anyway.
It keeps my self-esteem up, saves me time, and increases chances of dates. I'll take that over the normal experience any day.
In other news, auto-likers are helping a lot. It's like having all of the girls walk up to me at a bar instead. I get matches more consistently, and just message the ones I'm interested in. I never have to spend time swiping through the app which just made it easy to be picky anyway.
It keeps my self-esteem up, saves me time, and increases chances of dates. I'll take that over the normal experience any day.
Tinder's "algorithms" are starting to annoy me. I restarted my account and even decided to pay for Tinder Plus - first New Years in New York while single, may as well have unlimited swipes. I launch the Boost feature and begin swiping. I get 15 matches in the first 10 minutes and then bam, "no more people around you". I'm in New York! Not possible! Restart phone, delete app, change distance, change located - nothing fixed it. I could talk to the women I matched with just fine, but no other women were popping up.
I look it up, turns out that my account was probably flagged as a bot. Apparently if you swipe fast enough your account gets a soft ban where they tell you there's no one around. I'm not sure how I managed to swipe as fast as a bot since I was actually reading profiles. Wondering whether to ask Apple for a refund, bogus to pay for unlimited swipes and get mistakenly banned for swiping infinitely. A bit torn on doing that though - I did actually meet one of the girls I matched with and she's ridiculously beautiful and fun.
I look it up, turns out that my account was probably flagged as a bot. Apparently if you swipe fast enough your account gets a soft ban where they tell you there's no one around. I'm not sure how I managed to swipe as fast as a bot since I was actually reading profiles. Wondering whether to ask Apple for a refund, bogus to pay for unlimited swipes and get mistakenly banned for swiping infinitely. A bit torn on doing that though - I did actually meet one of the girls I matched with and she's ridiculously beautiful and fun.
ZackieChan
Member
Great list, Jhoan!
True Savior
Member
Mostly a great post that I agree almost completely and this part really hits me as the girl I miss more was one which I kinda dismissed for stupid reasons. A few months ago I tried to reignite it but she was really annoyed by my behavior and shut me down.
FUCK
Tinder's "algorithms" are starting to annoy me. I restarted my account and even decided to pay for Tinder Plus - first New Years in New York while single, may as well have unlimited swipes. I launch the Boost feature and begin swiping. I get 15 matches in the first 10 minutes and then bam, "no more people around you". I'm in New York! Not possible! Restart phone, delete app, change distance, change located - nothing fixed it. I could talk to the women I matched with just fine, but no other women were popping up.
I look it up, turns out that my account was probably flagged as a bot. Apparently if you swipe fast enough your account gets a soft ban where they tell you there's no one around. I'm not sure how I managed to swipe as fast as a bot since I was actually reading profiles. Wondering whether to ask Apple for a refund, bogus to pay for unlimited swipes and get mistakenly banned for swiping infinitely. A bit torn on doing that though - I did actually meet one of the girls I matched with and she's ridiculously beautiful and fun.
How hot are you Kanik? C'mon.
And that shouldn't happen. I had the Plus once and I could swipe for as long as I wanted.
I think it's a combination of me looking non-threatening and being in a populated city.
I had Plus for a month once before and it worked great then. So weird, it's still giving me issues.
It's cool to see that it's been working out for you! I have no shame about ghosting myself so there's nothing to feel bad about. Although I read an article on Lifehacker about the author choosing to stop ghosting. That's a never ending debate that's going to continue on for ages. There's no black and white there.
Thanks! It took me ages to write from my phone since I'm sans home Internet for another day.
Honestly man I'm still not 100% over the last the last girl I slept with since I keep having flashbacks of sleeping with her but I won't dare look at her profile. Any way I slice it, in the end of the day, it wasn't meant to be since she was impatient. If you play with fire, expect to get burned. I tried to do the same thing you did with scavenger hunt girl but she shut me down for good and it sucked since I never really encountered a girl who said that she had mixed feelings about me but I moved on.
I also regret sending very cringe worthy texts while I was drunk. I'm vowing to put an end to that this year and refrain from texting girls. Although I already got off to a bad start on New Year's Eve when I went through an entire case of beer and texted the last girl that 8 went out with happy new year. I said something really cringe worthy that she didn't respond to.
I can't hate on a shorter Hispanic brother's Tinder game. It's been dry as a well for me and I'm damn near close to trimming down my iconic hair but not for dating reasons since the fro is getting super tangled. I would miss my hair since it's what got me dates in the first place and dread the windchills on my head. I feel like I'm due for a new hairstyle. Something towards the middle of medium length hair and/or dreadlocks.
I'm going to begin messaging new girls again on OKC, possibly make a new account on Bumble, and CMB. Oddly enough, I've been getting profile visits from girls as far out as Japan, upstate NY, and parts NJ that are a bit too far out of the way. I'm going to try to set up a second date with the last girl I went out with three weeks ago.
NoctisVsStar
Member
It's been awhile but here's the update, so I met this girl from OKC and things been fantastic. We live a bit far from each other but we always find a way to meet up once or twice a week. Things are moving at a nice pace and we're finally going to get down to business this week XD
Funny thing is for the first time in my life I'm getting performance anxiety, since I've been in a bit of a funk I think my testorone or libido dropped. Which is weird I'm always at the gym hitting the weights and running. Tomorrow, I'm going to the doc and explain the situation a bit embarrassing but it is what it is... I mean seriously thinking just this one time a "little boost pill" wouldn't hurt never used such a thing but I gotta tell the doc what's up. A little confidence boost can make things right again.. been like this since dec I'm not stress,depressed or anything, shit happens I guess.
Funny thing is for the first time in my life I'm getting performance anxiety, since I've been in a bit of a funk I think my testorone or libido dropped. Which is weird I'm always at the gym hitting the weights and running. Tomorrow, I'm going to the doc and explain the situation a bit embarrassing but it is what it is... I mean seriously thinking just this one time a "little boost pill" wouldn't hurt never used such a thing but I gotta tell the doc what's up. A little confidence boost can make things right again.. been like this since dec I'm not stress,depressed or anything, shit happens I guess.
I decided to make an OKCupid account on a whim, ignored some of the fundamental universal pieces of advice I see posted on the internet just cuz I didn't feel like following them (I had a shitty profile pic, didn't really focus on my strengths), and within sending messages to four different people I think I already started the process of scheduling a date with a very intelligent above-average looking woman. Uh >_>
artsi
Member
Well, just acknowledging that advice existing you probably subconsciously made your profile better than 90% of what's out there, lol.
I guess you can say that you met your Lunafreya.
Glad to hear things have been going well for you! Being in the same area definitely helps since you don't have to spend a single dime to travel. Hopefully you got over the hump of having no shame to tell the 'rents that you met online when it comes to that point. That being said, performance anxiety happens to everyone especially after not having sex for a while so no worries. Loads of foreplay building up to it helps but sometimes it might be a mental block.
It sounds like things have been going considerably well for you. Sometimes the best thing to do is go against the grain since there are no rules to a perfect profile. If you think about it, the odd thing about online dating is that one can go from making an account to a date in less than a week.
Tiny update on my end: I texted the girl I went with a couple of weeks ago last night and she asked what my availability was for the next couple of nights. I replied an hour after she sent the text asking what she had in mins. I haven't heard back from her since then so I'll chalk it up to her being busy and play it cool. If I don't hear back from her by tonight, then I'll shoot her a text tomorrow being specific with plans for Friday night. She has odd texting habits so it's odd to gauge her interest.
NoctisVsStar
Member
I guess you can say that you met your Lunafreya.
That being said, performance anxiety happens to everyone especially after not having sex for a while so no worries. Loads of foreplay building up to it helps but sometimes it might be a mental block.
Yeah I'm hoping that's it, thanks for the encouraging words. But I'll get little extra boost just to get my groove back and not worry (just this one time) currently at the doc will update.
Update: Doc think it's anxiety but this funk been going on since dec, i think my T dropped a bit he says I'm too young but he drew some blood for additional tests and gave me a 5mg pill to get that confidence back.
You're advice worked! I threw a hail marry message asking her out to coffee (not expecting to get a reply) and she got back to me - we're meeting up tomorrow
Onimusha78
Member
I'm really not the type to approach girls in bars/clubs so I'm thinking about online dating. You only meet so many women in neutral settings. In my head though online dating still has this stigma, like feel sort of embarrassed to sign up. Someone convince me I'm being ridiculous real quick lol.
Edit: Sidenote. I did actually sign up to one I thought was for gamers but suprise suprise it was a scam. I bailed when they ask me to sign up so I could reply to a message from a girl who was exactly my type. For some reason that felt like bit of a safe haven
Edit: Sidenote. I did actually sign up to one I thought was for gamers but suprise suprise it was a scam. I bailed when they ask me to sign up so I could reply to a message from a girl who was exactly my type. For some reason that felt like bit of a safe haven