DongBeetle
Banned
I would love to post my profile but I'm scared of having it completely out there :\
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
I would love to post my profile but I'm scared of having it completely out there :\
You have about three options then.
1) Upload it to imgur and hide the link in an email tag. Then only members can see it, since it's only visible when quoting a message. For example, if you quote this message, you'll see a link to a website you won't see in the post.
2) Ask to send your profile to trustworthy members in this site. We aren't dicks, we won't send your profile to reddit, we'll just offer good, honest feedback.
3) Read up on proper dating pic technique and redo your pics. The OP should have some guidelines...if it doesn't, just follow a few simple rules. Hair (both head and face) should be neat and groomed. Clothes should fit properly. One selfie is fine, four isn't. The more interesting, the better. You're advertising yourself, think of the message the pic is sending.
DongBeetle
Banned
Too many selfies I think �� It's in the secret email tag
5 pics, 5 selfies? Yeah, that's bad form. You want one, and it better be the best damn pic of you there. You're a handsome guy - your teeth are perfect! - you just need better pics.
Have some friends take more pics of you. Ideally, you'll want pics that speak about your personality. For example, if you love to travel include a pic of you in Paris. If you love to dance, get a pic of you dancing. Pics of you socializing with friends or family also work well. And candid displays of emotion = yes!
If all else fails, get pics of you with a dog or somewhat-exotic animal. I know a place where you can get pics with a penguin for $60...
Gray Matter
Member
3 days of swiping on tinder and not a single match.
again, I don't know why I do this to myself.
Did you restart your account or just delete and reinstall the app?
Gray Matter
Member
Delete and reinstall
Delete your account and make a new one. As a "new" user you'll more frequently appear on others phones to swipe, thus increasing your chances of a match.
If there are no matches in a few days after that, then it's either a location or profile issue.
DongBeetle
Banned
How's it looking now? It's in the email tag again.
ZackieChan
Member
Better, but you gotta be able to get at least 6, and you should put that group shot last. Also, I'd change your haircut, I think. It's not doing it for me, but I'm no expert.
DongBeetle
Banned
I added a couple more. Idk I kinda like the haircut but I'm currently keeping it shorter so maybe that'll help? I just want more than a handful of people to swipe right in a year lol
As an experiment of sorts, I tried the whole sending a gif as a first message. Two very different outcomes:
Definitely push the group photo to the back. Imagine that most people swipe on the default pic, maybe look through the first three and very rarely go through the rest. While it does help with the whole "I'm social!" angle, unless it's a closer-up pic with you and just a few people having fun, it really shouldn't be at the forefront.
I think your default pic is a bit too close up. If you don't want to take any more pictures you could probably make the pic of you and the little kid your default and make your bio's first line be "I'm the one on the right." Although then you run the risk of people thinking that's your son (I'm assuming it's not) and swiping right. Maybe you have other photos of you and your dog that are more zoomed out?
Definitely push the group photo to the back. Imagine that most people swipe on the default pic, maybe look through the first three and very rarely go through the rest. While it does help with the whole "I'm social!" angle, unless it's a closer-up pic with you and just a few people having fun, it really shouldn't be at the forefront.
I think your default pic is a bit too close up. If you don't want to take any more pictures you could probably make the pic of you and the little kid your default and make your bio's first line be "I'm the one on the right." Although then you run the risk of people thinking that's your son (I'm assuming it's not) and swiping right. Maybe you have other photos of you and your dog that are more zoomed out?
DongBeetle
Banned
I agree with that advice and moved the one with me and my lil bro to the front. I could probably get a further out picture of me and my dog soon next time I stop by my parent's haha. But yea imagine the previous picture but the kid pic and the selfie are swapped. Seems decent no?
Yup, sounds good.
You still need pics of you doing stuff. Those pics are supposed to fill in your personality, and all yours says is "I have a face, a family, and some friends". Think of your hobbies, or what activities do you love in your town? Coerce a friend to take a few pics of you doing them!
Researchers have found that pics where you're looking straight at the camera do worse than pics where you're not. It makes your expression seem more genuine, since it appears that you weren't expecting to have your picture taken. And I think some women just get creeped out by men staring at them.
you could stand to do something new with your hair, but I wouldn't count it as your biggest issue.
My friends and I were sending each other random "your best creep face" yesterday in a group chat. So basically we stared into the camera.
Welp, Winter break is ending which means 90% of my area's online dating pool are leaving town to go back to school. I hate living here. There's no hope for a short, socially-awkward nerd to find a girlfriend in a place filled with country girls. I got a whopping 2 matches on Tinder and neither ever responded. Nothing on POF or OKC. I start volunteering soon so maybe I'll meet someone that way.
This just makes what happened with internship girl feel worse. It was kind of a miracle that I even found her out here, another miracle that she was actually interested in me, another miracle that she waited months to see me, and another miracle that she put up with my problems. Just...damn! I just want to put this shit behind me.
I've been pretty depressed lately due to my job hunt not going well so this isn't helping me at all. I'm taking another break which seems to be happening more and more frequently now. Maybe I'll log back in around Valentine's Day to see if things improve. Otherwise, it's nothing again until summer break.
This just makes what happened with internship girl feel worse. It was kind of a miracle that I even found her out here, another miracle that she was actually interested in me, another miracle that she waited months to see me, and another miracle that she put up with my problems. Just...damn! I just want to put this shit behind me.
I've been pretty depressed lately due to my job hunt not going well so this isn't helping me at all. I'm taking another break which seems to be happening more and more frequently now. Maybe I'll log back in around Valentine's Day to see if things improve. Otherwise, it's nothing again until summer break.
Jersey is fine but it depends how far into Jersey. If it's more than 2 hours, it's no bueno. So now that it's been two days, how was the date?
I tried to set up a date with the art teacher but she said that she's been "running around," apologized for not being available, and is going to be out of town until Tuesday. Would she make time for Brad Pit? She probably would. It's time move on for good so I'm not going to bother contacting her again. The fact that she takes two days to reply to texts is telling. The writing was on the wall at end of the initial date.
I haven't been actively messaging girls or replying to messages lately since I'm back in the phase where going through the motions is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I'm focusing on my personal life a bit.
I grew up in Jersey and recognized the school so I knew it was cool - only 20 minute bus ride for Port Authority so it's not that bad. Getting to Brooklyn from my apt. is far worse.
Date went well-ish. I've had dates with women who have social anxiety but she had it really really bad. I got her to open up and be comfortable but even then she was a bit skittish. My last gf was like that and I'm not really interested in pursuing something similar. It's a bit taxing to date a girl who can be shy even when it's 1 on 1.
I know what you mean about not actively replying to messages because you're in a phase of focusing on yourself. It's a bit cyclical - go on a bunch of dates and if they're duds then retreat for a bit. I think it makes for a healthy balance where you prevent yourself from getting too driven by the idea of dating.
Currently in the "dating" phase. Was 20 mins late to a date with a girl I met on Plenty of Fish. I was actually coming from a work event where I was drinking, but ironically by the time I got to the bar she was hammered. She was slurring her words, rolling eyes, etc. When I walked in I texted asking where she was and she said "at the bar" - but it was a crowded dive bar. So I sent another text, peeking over to see who was on their phone so I could figure out where she was. I spot her replying and see that she has me in her phone as "Maybe? MyUsername" Kind of hilarious. She wanted me to go back to her place after but I had such a meh time that I passed. So weird, in the last two months I've had more girls flake / cancel / show up to a date stoned or drunk than my entire dating life prior combined.
Accidentally double booked two dates for yesterday. The first girl I made Friday plans with didn't respond all week so thursday night I made plans with the GIF battle girl since she said it was the only day she was free that was soon. Then Friday morning the first girl asks to confirm if we're still on. Rescheduled with her for today and straight up to her that I thought she ghosted me. But last night's date was probably my favorite in a long time.
Cuffing Season definitely is a thing.
Fort Lee is right outside my window across the GW. Unfortunately, I haven't gone out with any girls who live in Fort Lee but it would be cool since it would be incredibly convenient for me. The new GW Bus Terminal is wrapping up construction in another month or two with businesses slated to move in. The exterior looks pretty cool. Any part of Jersey that's decently close to Manhattan is fair game for dating.
Hahaha, it sounds like you're describing a cat. I hear you on that. Shy girls are a royal pain in the ass to crack especially if they're super introverted. It feels a lot like having a monologue since they don't like talking about themselves. Funny enough, I got a profile visit from a girl who's an introvert but I haven't messaged her yet since her profile is so boring and she only has two pictures but she's pretty. She also stated that she prefers meeting up quickly which is a great bonus but is looking for something serious and I get the impression that she's probably shy.
Funny enough, I got an unsolicited message from a chick who's originally from Atlanta. Her profile was boring and her message was a generic "Hey how are you?" but I'll give her a pass and respond since she's thick, she's a couple of years older, and she has a nice face. If it was a "Hi," I wouldn't have bothered replying. I think the key thing for me is going to be to offer my number after 2-3 messages since I don't really care to chit chat all that much if the girl looks and sounds interesting. If they hit me up, then cool and if they don't, that's also cool.
I also got a Like from a grad school Danish girl but the big problem is that she's 5'2'' which is no good in my book as cool as she sounds. I might message her on a whim but the idea of bending down to make out with her annoys me. I feel like I need to put "Must be taller than 5'5''" on my message me section and update my pictures a bit. I think at this point, I would ideally like to end my dry spell again.
Hopefully the dates went well. It seems like you have all your bases covered.
True Savior
Member
I'm finding new ways of girls going silent mode. Cute teacher seemed all over me, started sending me this walls of text, told me she was going to workout and answer me later. 3 days have passed -.-
To quote Miles from the Dating-Age thread:
She either forgot or got bored. Have you asked her out for this upcoming week? If not, then I would suggest doing so. If she sends you another wall of text and gives you an excuse, then move on. Save the chatting for in person.
True Savior
Member
Well, I thought she was going to be my weekend date, but she never came back for me to ask her lol. Like Miles, I've been ghosted quite a few times and there's a few cases where you can almost anticipate but then there's curve balls like this one.
And if it wasn't me, I would definitely also advise the person to send a message but this is probably the thing that irks me more on tinder, so I just move on.
And if it wasn't me, I would definitely also advise the person to send a message but this is probably the thing that irks me more on tinder, so I just move on.
You definitely need a new haircut. You also might want to get those eyebrows groomed some too. And Tinder is a winners take all game. Everything about you should be on point or you should try a site like Match where it's not as competitive.
As an experiment of sorts, I tried the whole sending a gif as a first message. Two very different outcomes:
Definitely push the group photo to the back. Imagine that most people swipe on the default pic, maybe look through the first three and very rarely go through the rest. While it does help with the whole "I'm social!" angle, unless it's a closer-up pic with you and just a few people having fun, it really shouldn't be at the forefront.
I think your default pic is a bit too close up. If you don't want to take any more pictures you could probably make the pic of you and the little kid your default and make your bio's first line be "I'm the one on the right." Although then you run the risk of people thinking that's your son (I'm assuming it's not) and swiping right. Maybe you have other photos of you and your dog that are more zoomed out?
GIFs were cool when they first were a thing. Every guy and his mother are using them now. I find that what you send doesn't really matter. That girl has already decided whether or not she was going to make it easy for you before you sent the first message anyway. I wouldn't even bother trying to be creative or different beyond not sending a "hey".
Finally had the date I mentioned earlier, it went....alright I guess. I really liked her I think but the problem was that she's currently undergoing Electric Shock Therapy so her memory was kind of messed up and she had trouble talking about her life because she couldn't remember certain things. That combined with the fact that we're both shy and socially anxious people made conversation a bit difficult at times. Also she looked less conventionally attractive in person, but I still think she's good looking (I just don't think most people would agree). There were some awkward moments though (periods of silence, having trouble hearing each other because of background noise). But I think we seemed to like each other? We have a good amount in common which is something I've always sort of idealized in a partner. And it lasted for like two and a half hours which surprised me.
ZackieChan
Member
"Never came back for you"
You fucked up, and she probably went out with some other dude who had the good sense to send another damn message.
True Savior
Member
This is why I love gaf. A first date with a girl who doesn't remember her own life. Michel Gondry should direct that movie.
is this a normal thing?
Apparently it happens in about a third of patients, though their memory will start to come back when it's over.
Just deleted my OKC, because i was never 100% on the username and i just moved to a new city, so might as well cleanse the palate of the old city people. Made sure to download all of my profile pics that i liked, because i swapped computers last year and the originals were gone.
Anyone here tried Coffee Meets Bagel? I want to add that to my repertoire and abandon PlentyOfFish, which has gotten me plenty of nothing, while Coffee Meets Bagel seems to fit the yuppie demographic that i'm in, OKC seems to be the best bet for nerdy girls.
Now to see if OKC will let me use the same login information to build a new account.
Anyone here tried Coffee Meets Bagel? I want to add that to my repertoire and abandon PlentyOfFish, which has gotten me plenty of nothing, while Coffee Meets Bagel seems to fit the yuppie demographic that i'm in, OKC seems to be the best bet for nerdy girls.
Now to see if OKC will let me use the same login information to build a new account.
TangerineCloud
Banned
Managed to get a woman to agree to go out on a date with me. This'll only be the second first date I've ever been on. On one hand, I'm pretty excited because we've gotten along pretty well over text, and she's super cute. On the other hand, *piercing scream of anxiety*.
ZackieChan
Member
Haha, me too. A friend's sister had it done, as well, and apparently it really helped her bipolar disorder. It's not as inhumane as it sounds or they make it seem in the movies.
There's impressions of CMB on the OP for anyone who still reads it. That being said, CMB is definitely more for people who have a career and are looking for something more substantial beyond a hook up. I've had a mixed bag of luck on it since I didn't go past a second date with any of the women I met up with. However, they were cool for the most part. The app makes a strong push towards setting up a date.
I honestly think that the most interesting looking girls are the ones locked behind the Discover menu. However, it requires a set amount of beans to unlock rather than the ones that the algorithm matches one up with. Earning Beans has some dumb catch to it such as referring a friend and spending money but the app rewards beans when it notices that one is not getting matches. It's essentially the equivalent of a Super Like.
ArgyleReptile
Banned
OKC doesn't seem to like me, so I'm about to jump to Tinder.
Not looking forward to taking more pictures than I did for OKC, but hey, it is what it is.
Not looking forward to taking more pictures than I did for OKC, but hey, it is what it is.
True Savior
Member
Group dates are easily the most confusing thing in the world.
I only have 3 and I still get a decent amount of matches.
thesoapster
Member
Had first OKC date ever...
profile photo misleading, lied about body type, and despite our high degree of moral/political/religious belief compatibility, I probably wouldn't even hang out as friends.
profile photo misleading, lied about body type, and despite our high degree of moral/political/religious belief compatibility, I probably wouldn't even hang out as friends.
Honestly man I think you would be better off getting a Groupon deal on one of those group painting events that's popular in the city. The majority of the time, they're heavily skewed towards groups of single girls so you would have an easy time making conversation with them. Either that, or attend one of the many parties happening in the city e.g. Mashable or other places.
OKC doesn't have an option for fat/overweight so curvy=fat/chubby (although there are women that are truly curvy). I'm assuming she had MySpace angle pictures/selfies or pictures from her chest up? I usually don't message girls who don't have at least one long shot of their body. I've had dates like that where the girl was big and hiding her body deliberately or the personality clashed with mines. There wasn't any physical attraction whatsoever. On the plus side, at least you got a story out of it and got your toes wet so good on you for going on it. The journey to a thousand steps begins with a single step so keep on trucking.
One of my good friends who's never been on a date in his life and is my age would be too scared to go out with a below average girl since he puts women on a pedestal.
It does, actually. I have a friend (girl) on OKCupid who's profile uses the "Overweight" option because she is very body conscious and doesn't want to mislead people.
Funnily enough she's still smaller than most "curvy" girls on OKCupid. No one wants to admit that they are overweight so you never really see the word.
so is it just me or is tinder a wasteland? I logged on two days ago, swiped my allotted amount, and nothing but bots. My normal tinder experiences have not been this bad! OKC on the other hand is actually going well, I have a date tonight from there with a future optometrist.
Coffee Meets Bagel got rid of the ability to extend an expired chat and is having issues with notifications, winning combo. Got a notification that two chats expired - one girl I had no idea I even matched with and another I was waiting for a response...turns out she messaged me asking if we could go on a date but I never received a notification.
It happens. I remember being super hyped up for my first OKC date. Like, embarrassingly so. It was about 9 years ago and I had just lost 80lbs, going from overweight to fit. Had previously never been on a traditional date so I was nervous. Was killing time in my office after work until the date by practicing what I would say, writing down different topics I could talk about if the conversation died, etc. I get there and see it - she weighs about 100lbs more than what I would have thought. I still have a fun time drinking and chatting but that was the moment I realized I should drop any sense of expectation or romantic mystique when it came to online dating. I looked at her profile and realized all her pics were only of her face and made it a rule to not go on a date unless a body shot was present. I definitely understand why someone would feel self-conscious and not post a body shot but I still felt it was misleading. Began to treat reading a dating profile like if it was a puzzle game - picking up on patterns that are potential red flags, etc.
So basically what I'm saying is, it happens!
OKC is generally pretty good but I'm still getting non-bot tinder matches.
It happens. I remember being super hyped up for my first OKC date. Like, embarrassingly so. It was about 9 years ago and I had just lost 80lbs, going from overweight to fit. Had previously never been on a traditional date so I was nervous. Was killing time in my office after work until the date by practicing what I would say, writing down different topics I could talk about if the conversation died, etc. I get there and see it - she weighs about 100lbs more than what I would have thought. I still have a fun time drinking and chatting but that was the moment I realized I should drop any sense of expectation or romantic mystique when it came to online dating. I looked at her profile and realized all her pics were only of her face and made it a rule to not go on a date unless a body shot was present. I definitely understand why someone would feel self-conscious and not post a body shot but I still felt it was misleading. Began to treat reading a dating profile like if it was a puzzle game - picking up on patterns that are potential red flags, etc.
So basically what I'm saying is, it happens!
OKC is generally pretty good but I'm still getting non-bot tinder matches.
What?! That sucks! I guess it's getting more popular so they're probably going to charge for it. Unless you download an older version of the app online.Even on Android, I experienced issues with notifications. I've had many times I would miss when a girl wanted to meet up only for the chat to expire for good.
That's the downside to an expiring chat. Speaking of which, I just got matched up with a cute 20 year old White/Hispanic girl on CMB. She had a nice body and one of her likes is someone who speaks Spanish so I'm pretty much in. That 8 year gap though but fuck it, it's not my future wife so I'm going to go for it.
baxter2231
Member
So whats with so many girls saying their age is different than what is displayed on Tinder? Its basing it off of facebook so they either lied to facebook or lying here. I have a feeling they lied here but they could have lied back in the day because i think 13 is the min age of facebook so when they created it they may have lied to create the account.
Tried download an older apk and running it through an android emulator but CMB refuses to open unless you update so that didn't work. Really stinks.
The age gap is only really bad if they ask for your Snapchat two messages in.
Just like WhatsApp requires a mandatory update if it's too old. Ugh! Good thing OKC doesn't require a mandatory update. Their latest update sucks.
I don't do Snapchat and even then, I don't feed attention whores. I have it on my phone and friends have added me but I can't be bothered to use it. One my friends keeps preaching to me how much he prefers it. Maybe as a business thing, I would consider using it. Otherwise good old fashioned SMS text or bust.