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[SRG01]

"There's no one new around you"

Well then, time to delete my account.

Usually there'll be a bunch of new people if you wait a day.

edit: Oh hey, we got moved to Community? :/

 

[BIGWORM]

edit: Oh hey, we got moved to Community? :/

RIP.

 

[EdibleKnife]

Sent out 6 opening messages in early July on POF to a big goose egg. Back at it now with 6 openers to new people. Repeating "numbers game" continuously in my head yet still getting discouraged. -___-'

 

[SRG01]

Sent out 6 opening messages in early July on POF to a big goose egg. Back at it now with 6 openers to new people. Repeating "numbers game" continuously in my head yet still getting discouraged. -___-'

Here's my view on the numbers game: It's the most inefficient way to find a date, whether it be online or offline. Instead of focusing on the amount of women, focus on the women that you'd actually be interested in. Your opening messages will be much better.

Of course, playing the numbers game doesn't necessarily mean you'd be messaging any girl, but I think you get my point, no?

 

[EdibleKnife]

Here's my view on the numbers game: It's the most inefficient way to find a date, whether it be online or offline. Instead of focusing on the amount of women, focus on the women that you'd actually be interested in. Your opening messages will be much better.

Of course, playing the numbers game doesn't necessarily mean you'd be messaging any girl, but I think you get my point, no?

I do. I still do read through the entirety of profiles and message girls that do seem fun and have similar interest, but I can see how I come across might be diluted if I have like 6 or 7 tabs of "potentials" I'm supposedly interested in. We'll see how this turns out but I'm am definitely noticing something does need to change with how I handle it rather than treating it, for lack of a better phrase, like some sort of buffet of choices.

 

[Kyne]

I do. I still do read through the entirety of profiles and message girls that do seem fun and have similar interest, but I can see how I come across might be diluted if I have like 6 or 7 tabs of "potentials" I'm supposedly interested in. We'll see how this turns out but I'm am definitely noticing something does need to change with how I handle it rather than treating it, for lack of a better phrase, like some sort of buffet of choices.

Before I got started I was totally going to go about it this way..

Then, after surfing through hundreds of profiles I realized I couldn't even come up with at LEAST 5 that I wanted to message. In fact, 2 was the lasting number.. I put all my eggs into one (well I guess two) baskets and thought really hard about what I wanted to message these girls. I think I literally spent a day thinking about the opening messages.

Anyways, one of them didn't answer. I'll be going on my third date with the other come mid next week. (=

They've seriously heard/seen it all. Make it personal. Really read their profile and pick something up that's a little out of the norm.

 

[EdibleKnife]

Before I got started I was totally going to go about it this way..

Then, after surfing through hundreds of profiles I realized I couldn't even come up with at LEAST 5 that I wanted to message. In fact, 2 was the lasting number.. I put all my eggs into one (well I guess two) baskets and thought really hard about what I wanted to message these girls. I think I literally spent a day thinking about the opening messages.

Anyways, one of them didn't answer. I'll be going on my third date with the other come mid next week. (=

They've seriously heard/seen it all. Make it personal. Really read their profile and pick something up that's a little out of the norm.

You're totally right. Each time I do send bulk messages it feels off. I think it's because I'm just nervous as to whether or not I said the right thing when it actuality it's more likely that by spreading my attention so thin, I come off as fake or not really interested even if I am.

 

[Buckethead]

Broke it off with the girl today.

I think it was a good decision but part of me thinks it could be one of the worst decisions of my life.
I re-activated my old profile and all these girls doing nothing for me doesn't exactly make me feel better.

Fuck man.

 

[Kyne]

Broke it off with the girl today.

I think it was a good decision but part of me thinks it could be one of the worst decisions of my life.
I re-activated my old profile and all these girls doing nothing for me doesn't exactly make me feel better.

Fuck man.

Why'd you do it then? If you don't mind me asking.

 

[Pat]

I just sent my first ever message on a dating site (Tinder here). I've browsed many profiles 2 years ago on some local dating sites, until I met my ex (which was not by online dating), but I never had the guts to approach someone. The girl has been active since I sent the text and I didn't get an answer. Now I understand why people get discouraged, the feeling of being ignored is horrible.

 

[Smiley90]

I just sent my first ever message on a dating site (Tinder here). I've browsed many profiles 2 years ago on some local dating sites, until I met my ex (which was not by online dating), but I never had the guts to approach someone. The girl has been active since I sent the text and I didn't get an answer. Now I understand why people get discouraged, the feeling of being ignored is horrible.

You have to learn to deal with it. ONE rejection is nothing. Think of it as nothing ventured, nothing gained. You lose absolutely NOTHING by messaging them, and you have everything to gain. It's not personal if they don't message back.

 

[Buckethead]

Why'd you do it then? If you don't mind me asking.

There were things I wasn't happy with in the relationship/about her and couldn't get over them/was curious about what else is out there.
I guess TLDR, I felt we were compatible but thought something was lacking and we both could find something better.

She's a great, kind, sane, and hardworking girl, though, so it sucked breaking up.

 

[BIGWORM]

Welp, one of the chicks I was talking (not dating) dropped the bomb on me a couple days ago. She said she ran into an old flame that "never simmered," and that she was going to pursue that avenue. Yet, during the whole time we were talking, she was worried about me changing my mind about wanting to see her before her kid's school year started. I called her on that, telling her I thought that was hypocritical, and she responded "well I'm glad I exposed your negative side before we starting seeing each other." Yeah, because I'm supposed to be jumping with joy because dude from high school or whenever magically jumps into the picture and like Emmeril Lagasse, BAM, I'm out.

Feels bad, man.

Spoiler

Not really, lol. I've already replaced her with 3.

 

[Jhoan]

Been back in the Tinder game for the past week and a half and I've been realizing that things have turned harder all of a sudden after being back; it feels like a chore. I've been being a bit pickier with the girls I swipe right to and occasionally read profiles to make sure I'm not getting bots and check what girls are about.

I had a conversation with this one girl who lived 2 states over at 44 miles away on Friday so it naturally fizzled because of the distance. She said that the guys she always gets matched up with live so far (for reference, I'm in NYC; she was up in New Canaan, CT). To those of you using Tinder, what's the maximum amount of miles you have to scan for matches? I had it set to 44 up until Friday, then lowered it down to 35 but now I have it set to 30 miles so I can at least message that live in New Jersey.

I've seen a few profiles where girls list their height for some odd reason; others where girls say that they aren't looking for hook ups; one where a woman said she's looking for guys who don't live with their parents; profiles where girls take attention whore style pictures and say to follow them on Instagram; profiles listing "[state]---->[state]----->[state]." The list goes on and on

Even then,I've been picky with messaging the girls that I do get matched up with. It feels like I've lost my mojo. I've also seen girls who I messaged on OKC including a girl on I went on 2 dates with on Tinder as well as girls I have added on FB but no big deal.

Maybe I need to talk to girls in the subway more often like B-dubs did. Only thing is I'm usually drawing people in the train which gets girls' attention. School is almost here so I won't have to go through the motions of Tinder for much longer. I barely pay attention to and check my OKC profile these days so I'll probably end up deactivating it for a few months or uninstall the app.

 

[RandyBobandy]

Ok, so people just seem to ignore you completely if I date doesn't go well for them I've noticed it. Just seems kinda rude?

I mean, I've been on a couple of bad dates, but I've told the girl when she messages again she's nice, but I wouldn't like to do it again.

Manners won't kill you

 

[Jhoan]

Ok, so people just seem to ignore you completely if I date doesn't go well for them I've noticed it. Just seems kinda rude?

I mean, I've been on a couple of bad dates, but I've told the girl when she messages again she's nice, but I wouldn't like to do it again.

Manners won't kill you

I think there's nothing wrong with that personally. I've always done that with girls I'm not really feeling; I don't contact them at all and they get the hint. They usually don't contact me after the date since I have to do it. If she gives me a lukewarm post-date response, I delete her number/texts and move on.

Your time is very valuable to be wasting it over being annoyed by the fact that a girl didn't let you down easily by not replying. I don't think they owe you anything. Short term wise it might suck, but you get over it; in the long term it doesn't phase you. Somebody says no? Move on to someone that values your time. Easy as that. There's plenty of other fish in the sea.

 

[RandyBobandy]

I think there's nothing wrong with that personally. I've always done that with girls I'm not really feeling; I don't contact them at all and they get the hint. They usually don't contact me after the date since I have to do it. If she gives me a lukewarm post-date response, I delete her number/texts and move on.

Your time is very valuable to be wasting it over being annoyed by the fact that a girl didn't let you down easily by not replying. I don't think they owe you anything. Short term wise it might suck, but you get over it; in the long term it doesn't phase you. Somebody says no? Move on to someone that values your time. Easy as that. There's plenty of other fish in the sea.

For sure. It's a learning process

 

[Ghost_Protocol]

I ran into a girl on tinder and it's been a while since I swiped right so I think she nope'd me, but I'd still like to send her a message anyway. 90% of tinder users can be found on facebook simply by typing "people who live near me named x" and so I found her on facebook.

Would it be weird to introduce myself and send her a message? I have friends who randomly add people they find on facebook and some of them have actually gotten a couple of dates out of it. What do you think?

 

[element]

Am I a jerk for getting annoyed when girls with me with just "Hi"? I would never get a reply if I send mails with just "Hi", but for some reason it is ok for ladies. /endrant

 

[stn]

Am I a jerk for getting annoyed when girls with me with just "Hi"? I would never get a reply if I send mails with just "Hi", but for some reason it is ok for ladies. /endrant

I only get annoyed if the girl has that "I DON'T REPLY TO HI!!!!" crap in her profile. Otherwise, I know its hard sometimes for girls to make the first move. They've been taught and conditioned to never do it, the "hi" is just a way of being able to say you haven't made too much effort in case you get rejected.

 

[Drensch]

You have to learn to deal with it. ONE rejection is nothing. Think of it as nothing ventured, nothing gained. You lose absolutely NOTHING by messaging them, and you have everything to gain. It's not personal if they don't message back.

Agreed. My gf dumped me or whatever in late June. Idk, but I'd bet I've blown off well over 200 messages since. Most are straight up ignores. Many are your typical "talk to a guy enough to get my self esteem injection," others just disappear when it becomes real to them if I ask for or give my number.
In other words tons of rejection. It's tough when it seems to me to be an exceptionally good match, but I deal and move on.

 

[EloquentM]

Finally official!!!!

 

[Makonero]

I ran into a girl on tinder and it's been a while since I swiped right so I think she nope'd me, but I'd still like to send her a message anyway. 90% of tinder users can be found on facebook simply by typing "people who live near me named x" and so I found her on facebook.

Would it be weird to introduce myself and send her a message? I have friends who randomly add people they find on facebook and some of them have actually gotten a couple of dates out of it. What do you think?

Don't do it. She didn't swipe you for a reason, and this might come across as stalker-ish. Plenty more fish in the sea.

 

[Jhoan]

I ran into a girl on tinder and it's been a while since I swiped right so I think she nope'd me, but I'd still like to send her a message anyway. 90% of tinder users can be found on facebook simply by typing "people who live near me named x" and so I found her on facebook.

Would it be weird to introduce myself and send her a message? I have friends who randomly add people they find on facebook and some of them have actually gotten a couple of dates out of it. What do you think?

To echo Makonero's thoughts, I don't think you should do it man. Don't listen to the irrational side of your head that says you still have a chance. The idea of a stranger looking up another stranger on FB that have never met should make you think twice before biting the bullet. The rational side of your head is right in saying that she swiped left once for a reason.

My brother has gotten away with it a few times as well that he's gotten a few dates from FB but just because your friends have done it doesn't mean you should. If you decide to go through with it, then may godspeed and hopefully your risk pays off. Maybe you should weigh out the pro's and cons of doing it versus not doing it before coming to a decision.

Am I a jerk for getting annoyed when girls with me with just "Hi"? I would never get a reply if I send mails with just "Hi", but for some reason it is ok for ladies. /endrant

Unless there were more girls as awesome as electricshake---who sends out more than just a simple "Hi" message---in the planet, I'll agree with stn about girls doing it for no reason other than to put in a minimum amount of effort to chase the guy. It is ironic when a girl has listed on her profile she doesn't message guys who sends "Hi" as a message but sends out a "Hi" message herself. I get irritated as well since such a dry bare bones message but honestly, I don't really mind.

The aforementioned girl who lived two states over from me sent me this "" as an opening message before adding that I was 44 miles away from her with a sad smiley face. It was cute if nothing else even though I clearly have a small bio blurb about my name being one of the seven mysteries of the world to non-Spanish speaking people (my real name is rather unique in spelling as it gets mispronounced constantly) so she could have easily have asked me about that.

As for why it's frowned upon when guys do it? I suppose it's because the gender/societal norms in Western nations men are conditioned to make the first move and send a thoughtful/meaningful message. Personally, I typically send out a neutral "Hey how was weekend?;""Hey how was your day?;"' or "Hey how's it going?" I've gotten plenty replies from sending one of those 3 questions without really having to make much effort in spending time trying to come up with a well thought out/witty message. It beats sending out the simple "Hi" message any day although occasionally I like to get creative if a girl has an interesting picture that I can comment on/reference in my initial message or has something specific on her bio.

For example, one girl I got matched up with on Tinder stated in her bio that she likes Star Wars themed pick up lines. So I Googled said pick up lines, and messaged her "Is that a lightsaber you have in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" She has yet to reply but it's bound to make an impression on her. Otherwise, the former still stands.

So I lamented about losing my Tinder mojo yesterday right? Well it turns out, after tons of more swiping work, I'm happy to say that I got my mojo back. I'm talking to several girls at once now including closing in on finalizing a date with an Israeli girl with an amazingly curvaceous body that I had a constant back and forth with who's going on vacation after Wednesday, a cute artistic White girl who looks like Uma Thurman that we've been talking about art exhibitions in the city, and a 28 year old woman who's into creative arts and said that she wishes she could draw since I told her I draw people in the subway. Plus I sent out opening messages to a couple of other matches, and I just got a reply back from a cute White/Black girl. Feels good man. Hopefully they all lead to (cheap) dates.

 

[EatinOlives]

General point based on what I've been seeing here the last while:

I see people spend lots of time thinking about what's wrong with them after something fails online. The harsh reality is that online dating is mostly about the pics. There's generally no point in wondering what you did wrong or are doing wrong. If online dating isn't working, go offline. Its a hell of a lot more interesting to meet girls in real-life, anyway.

I had some girl stop talking to me even though she "liked" me, we found out we were from the same background, and we had a shit-ton in common. Sometimes even that is not enough. You never know what goes in someone's head chemically when they make the decisions they make.

If you're a person who's ever said to yourself shit, I'm not getting any replies online, then ditch it immediately and go out. The main issue with that is that it can slowly drain one's confidence. If you're going to get your confidence drained per say, at least go get rejected by a girl outside. At least that builds character and immunity to rejection as opposed to nothing gained online.

Thanks for this post. I realized I was relying on this online dating shit a little too much, kind of like a crutch, because sitting on your ass and typing shit is a lot easier to do than actually going out and actually trying to meet people in real life. And the people I met in real life compared to the ones online were just two completely different kinds of people, the latter being the kind I wouldn't really want to be around with, much less become friends with, much less date. But I was half-convinced that if I can't even make it work online I'd have no chance "offline", even though my better judgement made it damn clear the minute I started with online dating that they're two completely different beasts, that the way you talk, approach people, do small talk, everything is completely different.

I just up and deleted every account. None of it even did me any good the last several months. It kind of feels nice, actually. I've stopped trying to "find a date" and subsequently getting increasingly more frustrated wrestling with a system that just didn't work for me particularly. I'm going to do dating "offline", I tend to meet people I like WAY more naturally IRL anyway. Doing dating online just felt "off" for me from day 1, I just didn't want to acknowledge it until now.

So again, thanks for your post. I read it and it was a breath of fresh air. Pretty much every response in that topic is "just keep trying! You'll find someone eventually!", which IMO is terrible advice. If online dating isn't good for you it isn't good for you. It's not for everyone. Trying after you know full well this isn't your strength does nothing but make you circle the drain and really kill your confidence. The REAL answer, with no "keep trying!" dumb platitudes, is "persevere until you've exhausted every possibility, and if you know you don't gel with this system don't push it. Drop it and look at it a different way, approach it, step away and broaden your horizons."

Sorry for the rant.

 

[davepoobond]

i think i'm getting fatigued from these web sites again. i tried messaging probably around 100 girls within the past month and got almost nothing back.

one girl actually replied to me, tried to exchange numbers on the 3rd message, but she said she wanted to talk more before doing that. 30 messages later, i run out of things to talk about and ask if she wants to meet up at all, and she hasn't responded, so that's done. not sure how much/how long that's supposed to go on for, i guess everyone is different.


then today i get another text from some person in the past i tried to connect with that never wanted to meet up with me -- she's pretty much a psycho and last time we were texting she was telling me how she was going out on dates and shit, and i had no idea what the hell she wanted from me because i asked if she wanted to meet and she basically told me no, so i stopped contact with her, and she got super pissed off as a result. then i get a "hey" today for no reason. i've never met her in real life.

really sort of annoying. i'm sure i'll naturally just forget about this again and try again later this year.

 

[Oblivion]

UGH.

Went out with this great chick who was nice and thick in all the correct areas. She was a fun date and was smoking hot, but she lives far as fuck (about 25 miles away) and didn't have a car of her own. On top of that I spent like $60 at the bar we went to. Now all of this would have been okay if she seemed interested in me, but while we had a great time at the bar, afterwards she seemed pretty quiet and distant. I got a kiss out of it, but that doesn't necessarily mean shit. I sent her a text an hour or so later telling her I had a great time, but she hasn't responded.

I'm frustrated as hell right now.

UGH.

 

[BIGWORM]

UGH.

Went out with this great chick who was nice and thick in all the correct areas. She was a fun date and was smoking hot, but she lives far as fuck (about 25 miles away) and didn't have a car of her own. On top of that I spent like $60 at the bar we went to. Now all of this would have been okay if she seemed interested in me, but while we had a great time at the bar, afterwards she seemed pretty quiet and distant. I got a kiss out of it, but that doesn't necessarily mean shit. I sent her a text an hour or so later telling her I had a great time, but she hasn't responded.

I'm frustrated as hell right now.

UGH.

...what?

 

[ReiGun]

I've actually got a couple girls I'm messaging back and forth. Problem is I still have trouble with not attaching unneeded pressure to myself. Happens to me in outside too. I struggle through every interaction trying to respond or find a way to start conversation and our drives me up a wall.

Gonna keep at it, though.

 

[Septimius]

i think i'm getting fatigued from these web sites again. i tried messaging probably around 100 girls within the past month and got almost nothing back.

one girl actually replied to me, tried to exchange numbers on the 3rd message, but she said she wanted to talk more before doing that. 30 messages later, i run out of things to talk about and ask if she wants to meet up at all, and she hasn't responded, so that's done. not sure how much/how long that's supposed to go on for, i guess everyone is different.


then today i get another text from some person in the past i tried to connect with that never wanted to meet up with me -- she's pretty much a psycho and last time we were texting she was telling me how she was going out on dates and shit, and i had no idea what the hell she wanted from me because i asked if she wanted to meet and she basically told me no, so i stopped contact with her, and she got super pissed off as a result. then i get a "hey" today for no reason. i've never met her in real life.

really sort of annoying. i'm sure i'll naturally just forget about this again and try again later this year.

Time to do something different. If you keep going at it with the same approach and never get any replies back, then you should change up something. I have no idea what, but pictures, profile text, what my message says. I'd try something different, if I was convinced what I was doing wasn't working.

UGH.

Went out with this great chick who was nice and thick in all the correct areas. She was a fun date and was smoking hot, but she lives far as fuck (about 25 miles away) and didn't have a car of her own. On top of that I spent like $60 at the bar we went to. Now all of this would have been okay if she seemed interested in me, but while we had a great time at the bar, afterwards she seemed pretty quiet and distant. I got a kiss out of it, but that doesn't necessarily mean shit. I sent her a text an hour or so later telling her I had a great time, but she hasn't responded.

I'm frustrated as hell right now.

UGH.

This comes across as very entitled. It was OK for you to spend 60$ if she'd been interested? That's.. kind of creepy. She was distant for a reason. The funniest thing about this is that you don't seem to factor yourself into this, as if it's her fault for not being interested.

And you're frustrated as hell right now because you weren't a good date? I mean, I'd get that, but I have a feeling that's not what you're trying to say.

I've actually got a couple girls I'm messaging back and forth. Problem is I still have trouble with not attaching unneeded pressure to myself. Happens to me in outside too. I struggle through every interaction trying to respond or find a way to start conversation and our drives me up a wall.

Gonna keep at it, though.

Maybe try and talk with guys? You know, just getting used to having a conversation. Then you start getting comfortable just talking with people. Maybe then you can up it by talking with girls just to talk with them, not for anything more. It's always hard talking with girls one find interesting, but it'll be a lot harder if you're not comfortable keeping a conversation going, generally.

 

[Jhoan]

I've actually got a couple girls I'm messaging back and forth. Problem is I still have trouble with not attaching unneeded pressure to myself. Happens to me in outside too. I struggle through every interaction trying to respond or find a way to start conversation and our drives me up a wall.

Gonna keep at it, though.

I agree with Sep. Maybe you should talk to guys more often that for example you added but barely talk to say on Facebook chat for practice as well as talk to female acquaintances/friends without expecting anything out of it other than a good conversation. I'm not the best conversationalist in the world but over the years, I've improved significantly to the point I'm able to have a regular conversation about the weather and branching off from there.

Even in person when I have a conversation with a girl, I don't expect anything out of it but I end up walking away thinking it was a satisfying conversation. Many of my messages on Tinder start out fairly mundane as I stated in a previous post above but quickly venture off into in depth conversations. Especially if there's a common interest or it's something I know nothing about that intrigues me.

So a little bit of an update on the Israeli girl that I was talking to last night. We're currently texting at this moment and it's been pretty flirtatious and funny which is very good. It looks like we're going to have lunch date some time today after she gets out of work presumably. Definitely will need to shave the quasi-hobo look I have going on the moment after 3 weeks of not having shaved and my rather long, slightly unkempt hair. Too bad she told me she's allergic to Asian food because I wanted to get some good cheap pho at a Vietnamese restaurant in Chinatown so I'll have to look for a non-Asian, cheap place in the SoHo area.

The downside is she's running on a really tight schedule since she has a ton of stuff to do in the evening and get ready for her vacation so I think I might only have an hour at best to make a really good impression on her. I feel like the pressure is on and it has me a bit concerned because of the time constraints. =/

I don't blame her; I told her that I appreciate her making time for me given her busy schedule. I think as long as I play it cool, be myself, and keep the humorous/light flirtatious momentum going in person (including teaching her some Spanish), it'll be fine. My anticipatory fear is setting in even before meeting her which is normal.

 

[y2dvd]

Pretty quiet on my end. I'm chatting with a few different girls and they seem interested to meet but pretty hesitant at the same time. I confronted one of them I've been chatting with for awhile now and I said if she really wanted to meet, she would've done so already. She asked me what I wanted out of this and I said I have no interest in continuing to text if we are never going to meet. She says she was scared because our texting is going fine and she is scared it would change if we finally meet. I told her if it happens, it happens and now she's finally agreed to actually go out.

Another one went on vacation for a few weeks and just got back into town and remembered to text me to my surprise, so I will try to get something going there.

Yeah just a bunch of hesitant girls I need to convince to go out lol.

 

[Kyne]

It took me about 20 messages before I asked my new ladyfriend out. I made the very dangerous decision to befriend her through messages first.. I swear even after our first date I was treading carefully on that friendzone line.

I have no idea how you guys do it in 3-4.

 

[stn]

@Oblivion

Keep your dates cheap, dude. I'd never spend $60 on a first date or even second date.

 

[SRG01]

It took me about 20 messages before I asked my new ladyfriend out. I made the very dangerous decision to befriend her through messages first.. I swear even after our first date I was treading carefully on that friendzone line.

I have no idea how you guys do it in 3-4.

I usually do it in 20 or so too. Granted, there's no real number you really have to stick by; just enough to get a feel of the situation and if the girl is actually interested.

@Oblivion

Keep your dates cheap, dude. I'd never spend $60 on a first date or even second date.

Never in my life have I spent over $20 on a first date. The first date is a meet and greet, unless both parties are interested in 'other' activities afterward.

Pretty quiet on my end. I'm chatting with a few different girls and they seem interested to meet but pretty hesitant at the same time. I confronted one of them I've been chatting with for awhile now and I said if she really wanted to meet, she would've done so already. She asked me what I wanted out of this and I said I have no interest in continuing to text if we are never going to meet. She says she was scared because our texting is going fine and she is scared it would change if we finally meet. I told her if it happens, it happens and now she's finally agreed to actually go out.

Another one went on vacation for a few weeks and just got back into town and remembered to text me to my surprise, so I will try to get something going there.

Yeah just a bunch of hesitant girls I need to convince to go out lol.

Guys are just as guilty of this too, unfortunately. I've ran across numerous profiles of women who prefer meeting over endless text messages.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

Welp since I'm officially back on the market I figured I make an OKC profile and show it to all of you

Let me know what you all think

Edit:Fixed the link

 

[turtle553]

Welp since I'm officially back on the market I figured I make an OKC profile and show it to all of you

Let me know what you all think

This is just a generic profile link http://www.okcupid.com/profile

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

This is just a generic profile link http://www.okcupid.com/profile

Sorry here is the correct link

 

[Kyne]

@Cherry

Completely remove that first picture... or leave it until the end. It's not very flattering which is strange because in literally every other picture you look x1000 better.

 

[Oblivion]

...what?

What, that's not far?

This comes across as very entitled. It was OK for you to spend 60$ if she'd been interested? That's.. kind of creepy. She was distant for a reason. The funniest thing about this is that you don't seem to factor yourself into this, as if it's her fault for not being interested.

Well, you're probably right that I'm coming off as entitled, but it's just that she didn't seem to mind ordering like everything on the menu. If you're gonna do that, at the very least you could pretend to be a bit more interested.

@Oblivion

Keep your dates cheap, dude. I'd never spend $60 on a first date or even second date.

I agree. It's just that it sorta happened. Like I said, we went to a bar, and I thought we were just gonna have a few drinks, but that turned into quite a few and she ordered a ton of food cause she hadn't eaten all day or something.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

@Cherry

Completely remove that first picture... or leave it until the end. It's not very flattering which is strange because in literally every other picture you look x1000 better.

Oh wow well I pushed that picture all the way back. My new profile pic is the second one

 

[y2dvd]

We got issues Cherry lol!

I'd just spice up the profile and would probably remove the family pic, unless you don't mind girls thinking that's your ex or current gf and your kid.

 

[Oblivion]

So me and that chick texted for a bit earlier tonight. She was responding fairly quickly but they were almost all one word replies. I get the impression I wasn't exactly lighting her world on fire. On the other hand, I've had quite a few pedestrian text convos with some chicks that I've dated before, which still ended up getting multiple dates afterwards, so...

I dunno, I'm contemplating how I should approach this. She seems to have a pretty good personality (at least when we're face to face), and we have a few things in common, and she's smoking hot. But she also seems to be kinda high maintenance (she's a model) and like I said, lives really far.

 

[y2dvd]

Wait, there's an instant messaging on the OKC website? So I send someone a cheesy pick up line via the message box and I see message pop up outside the messages inbox. The girl responded and said hey. I say hey back and ask her what's up. She tells me she's working and I ask her what got her working so late into the night. She laughs and says she works as a webcam model, laughs it offs and ask if that scares me. I don't believe she's legit but she didn't link me to a site or anything and we just said gn. Cautiously approaching this one.

Anyways, how do you send an instant message?

 

[Smiley90]

Wait, there's an instant messaging on the OKC website? So I send someone a cheesy pick up line via the message box and I see message pop up outside the messages inbox. The girl responded and said hey. I say hey back and ask her what's up. She tells me she's working and I ask her what got her working so late into the night. She laughs and says she works as a webcam model, laughs it offs and ask if that scares me. I don't believe she's legit but she didn't link me to a site or anything and we just said gn. Cautiously approaching this one.

Anyways, how do you send an instant message?

Oh there are so many of those sites

what site

 

[woodchuck]

Anyone else decide they're just going to take a break? In the past few months, I've gone out with 10-15 girls of all types. Some I really liked, some I didn't really feel a connection. Didn't get past a 3rd date with any of them. I feel so exhausted and defeated. I think I just need to take a break, focus on work, hang out with friends, and hitting the gym

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Anyone else decide they're just going to take a break? In the past few months, I've gone out with 10-15 girls of all types. Some I really liked, some I didn't really feel a connection. Didn't get past a 3rd date with any of them. I feel so exhausted and defeated. I think I just need to take a break, focus on work, hang out with friends, and hitting the gym

It can get mechanical after awhile. Probably best to take some time off.

 

[Jhoan]

Anyone else decide they're just going to take a break? In the past few months, I've gone out with 10-15 girls of all types. Some I really liked, some I didn't really feel a connection. Didn't get past a 3rd date with any of them. I feel so exhausted and defeated. I think I just need to take a break, focus on work, hang out with friends, and hitting the gym

*raises hand* I'm think I'm either going to deactivate my OKC or delete the app and uncheck off all the email alerts in early September because I'm starting my final semester on the 26th of this month. I'm gonna keep Tinder around for a little bit longer until mid September before I either deactivate all alerts or temporarily uninstall it until late December. Going out with girls during the semester is only going to be a thorn in my side since I won't have much free time to commit to girls. However, I'm not entirely ruling out going with a small handful actively here and there that I meet at school assuming my finances aren't hammered by art materials. I have yet to go past a 2nd date with a girl in my own personal dating track record.

A few quick online updates from my end:

-The lunch date with the Israeli girl got canceled because she said that her company had a fire drill and she a series of back to back meetings. She apologized and I didn't leave me house foolishly so not all is lost. To be honest, I had a gut feeling she was going to cancel any way seeing how she busy she's been between getting ready for her vacation (she's not available during the night) and her work life. No surprises there.

When I asked when she would like to reschedule it, she said it would after her vacation. She told me she returns on the 6th of September. I'll be busy with the aforementioned classes and juggling an internship on top club stuff by then but shouldn't be overwhelmed with homework by then. If she cancels again after she returns---assuming she remembers me while on said vacation that she'll re-initiate the conversation---then I'm gonna throw in the towel and move on. Time is too valuable to be wasting it on a girl who doesn't value yours. I got plenty of girls waiting in the wings to tide me over until then any way.

-Speaking of girls waiting in the wings, I'm closing in on a date with the aforementioned artistic girl who looks like Uma Thurman. She suggested that we go see a couple of -exhibitions together to which I replied to saying that I would love to it whenever she's free this week. I'm actually really excited about seeing this girl as we're both artists that we've been talking about and have a really good rapport established that her replies are nice and meaty. Plus dat body/dat ass and blue eyes as a bonus She usually replies once a day so the suspense is killing me! xD

-A few a conversations have fizzled to the point where I unmatched myself from this one girl who's replies kept getting shorter and shorter yesterday. Otherwise, I'm talking to a couple of other girls that have been getting decently meaty replies. We'll see where they go but in all honesty, I'm not holding my breath. Girls come and go like a revolving door bringing people in and out of a building all the so I'm in a zero F's given state of mind.

 

[y2dvd]

Oh there are so many of those sites

what site

OKC. OKC had an instant message system that I don't know how to access. Maybe it's for A-listers only and the other person was one?

 

[GK86]

OKC. OKC had an instant message system that I don't know how to access. Maybe it's for A-listers only and the other person was one?

You can only send an instant message if the other person has the chat feature turned on I think.