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[NipplesAndToes23]

Its simple. Look at yourself in a mirror and analyze how you appear. Are you in shape? Are you clean? Are you stylish? Next, look at your social skills. Are you shy? Are you awkward? Are you boring? Ask yourself questions like that and work based on the answers you give yourself. Improve what you can.

I'm skinny. My fashion has been shitty for years. I joined the gym recently and bought hipster clothes over the weekend (first time I've ever followed a trend). I just attacked two of my flaws. Its not the advice that's vague since only you can figure out what needs improvement.

I'm comfortable with my shape, but I think that's a non-factor as people of all sizes get women, I personally don't care about being stylish, I wear what I like. I used to not give a fuck and throw on anything and didn't care if it didn't match. I used to be shy, but I've been way past that now and I don't really think shy is a factor either since I've seen women who said they like shy women. I don't even know what you mean by awkward and I'm not about to be boring like my friends who seem scared to leave their rooms.

Understanding this stuff seems harder than my Astrophysics class.

 

[Oxn]

And into the Community section with this thing :þ

Back to the dating age thread

 

[MrToughPants]

So I've met around 20-25 women online so far and it seems every one of them has some issues. This last girl was nice but she wouldn't open up and had trust issues. She was out of a relationship two months ago and said she had bad expeiences; some physical and emotional abuse, cheating boyfriends, drug and alcohol abusers. We went on our last date Wednesday and she was moody and in a bad mood. I ended up cheering her up and making her feel great we were laughing, kissing, and hugging like love birds in the park having a great time. She said she was falling for me a few times and that I was the only person to ever get her out of a bad mood. Then she cancelled for Saturday and said she isn't ready for a relationship, feels overwhelmed, and that she needs time for herself and we can be friends...but hasn't even replied to my single text, I was polite and understanding in my response but this shit is getting annoying.

 

[Tabasco]

I'm starting to finally talk to girls on Tinder, but I don't know how to get it to go anywhere other than just talking about their pictures or anything about them.

Should I just randomly ask to hang out at some point? I've had a small conversation with this girl but I'm paranoid about the next step.

 

[Smiley90]

I'm starting to finally talk to girls on Tinder, but I don't know how to get it to go anywhere other than just talking about their pictures or anything about them.

Should I just randomly ask to hang out at some point? I've had a small conversation with this girl but I'm paranoid about the next step.

Yes. Ask.

 

[GK86]

I'm starting to finally talk to girls on Tinder, but I don't know how to get it to go anywhere other than just talking about their pictures or anything about them.

Should I just randomly ask to hang out at some point? I've had a small conversation with this girl but I'm paranoid about the next step.

Ask her for her number and tell her you want to go out sometime.

 

[Septimius]

I'm starting to finally talk to girls on Tinder, but I don't know how to get it to go anywhere other than just talking about their pictures or anything about them.

Should I just randomly ask to hang out at some point? I've had a small conversation with this girl but I'm paranoid about the next step.

Build some rapport. Get some conversation going. An easy way to do it is to start the "X or Y?" game. "Pizza or sushi?" "Cats or dogs?". When conversation's been going a bit and you feel there's some rapport, you can simply ask if she wants to grab a coffee or beer or whatever you want to do some time.

 

[Cheddahz]

This is going to be weird to ask, but this girl came up on Tinder and I actually know her (somewhat), could I just hit her up on Facebook and say that I saw her on Tinder?

 

[stn]

I'm comfortable with my shape, but I think that's a non-factor as people of all sizes get women,

This is true. But still, society is very critical of appearance. The average person wants someone who's good looking and in shape.

I personally don't care about being stylish, I wear what I like. I used to not give a fuck and throw on anything and didn't care if it didn't match. I used to be shy, but I've been way past that now and I don't really think shy is a factor either since I've seen women who said they like shy women.

Style is important, you should definitely care about it. The whole phrase appearance means everything rings true often. As for being shy, its better not to be shy. It enhances your chances.

I don't even know what you mean by awkward and I'm not about to be boring like my friends who seem scared to leave their rooms.

Understanding this stuff seems harder than my Astrophysics class.

Being awkward means behaving in a certain way that makes people uncomfortable. Imagine a random person was just standing in one spot and staring at you for no reason. That would be awkward.

For the record, I'm not saying you're any of these things. I'm just saying that these types of traits usually turn people off.

 

[Cow Mengde]

i get what you're saying but the reality is for a lot of us (or well for me anyway) it's too damn difficult to meet anybody offline. like me for example i work with a lot of much older people, all of them dudes, and everybody in my social circle is taken. i admit i could do something like take a class or volunteer or something, but there's virtually no way for me to meet people. online dating is kind of mandatory

Same deal here. I work 6 days from 12PM to 8PM.

and while i do think dwelling on "what went wrong" can be poisonous it can be a learning experience.

The learning part is the best because it helps us understand ourselves too. That's why I was looking for feedback and have a complete stranger tell me what they think of me.

 

[MoodyFog]

This is going to be weird to ask, but this girl came up on Tinder and I actually know her (somewhat), could I just hit her up on Facebook and say that I saw her on Tinder?

Depends how well you know her I guess.

Also, obviously don't do it if you haven't "matched" on Tinder.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

I've actually received more first messages on Tinder than on OKC, so that's quite encouraging at least.

Another first date from Tinder today, then I'm gonna lay low for a while. Originally I had already planned that after Thursday, but this girl mesdsaged me first and she seems pretty chill.

I hate you.

Spoiler

Okay not really

Tinder has done nothing for me.

 

[SRG01]

How do you start conversations with people you meet in real life? They don't have a list of 'my interests' pinned to their side.

Usually situational or at an outing which gives me an easy in.

Honestly, I'm not exactly sure how I manage to talk to women in real life. Every woman I've talked to in person says that I have a very disarming kind of charm and they feel very comfortable around me.

The weird part is that I can easily get dates in real life, but just that... I dunno, I've been through some rough shit the past few years and it has really put a damper into things.

 

[Smiley90]

I hate you.

Spoiler

Okay not really

Tinder has done nothing for me.

Tinder is great.

Otw home from a date with another girl that I hit it off REALLY great with. We'll see. Buy seriously, Tinder is the godsend of year 2014 dating.

 

[electricshake]

Tinder is great.

Otw home from a date with another girl that I hit it off REALLY great with. We'll see. Buy seriously, Tinder is the godsend of year 2014 dating.

I've had no luck with it. A few matches but none have lead to anything. Not had any luck with OKC lately either but I have in the past.

 

[Jhoan]

Tinder is great.

Otw home from a date with another girl that I hit it off REALLY great with. We'll see. Buy seriously, Tinder is the godsend of year 2014 dating.

Amen to that brother. Once I got this new smartphone a few weeks ago, one of the first things I did was download Tinder. It's since dried up since I've taken a break but I've been consistently striking gold when I was active even if messages fizzled and I didn't go past the first date with one. I'd like to get at least 2 more flings out of it before I hang it up to focus on school. Hell even if the dates don't go anywhere, it's been good practice either way. Only downside to dating girls is that I lose sight of my important goals and having to spend money (yes, DokEvil, I know there's super cheap dates I can do in the city).

I've all but given up on messaging several girls a day at this point even though I get the "You both like each other" message every now and then. I guess Quick Match works to some degree but I thinkn girls use it to stroke their egos more than anything else that they don't respond.

I would say to keep at it guys and don't give up. Struggle is universal. I never thought I would have a sexual experience a year ago but here I am. Nothing's really changed but it feels like I'm able to have conversations about sex without feeling like the odd man out any more. Plus I think I know what I want now more than ever which is definitely not a long term relationship any time soon.

@Cow, your profile is solid. One little nitpick though: you misspelled clothes as cloths.

 

[RandyBobandy]

Anyone find the % match meaningless?

I seem to have nothing in common with my highest matches. I don't even care about the questions; I never even read them.

The best matches always seem to be the 50-60% matches. Even some high enemy %

 

[Kyne]

Anyone find the % match meaningless?

I seem to have nothing in common with my highest matches. I don't even care about the questions; I never even read them.

The best matches always seem to be the 50-60% matches. Even some high enemy %

No, I'm seeing a girl who was a 95% match.. it's a good thing, too. It tells you what kind of girl you'll be seeing. Going in I knew that she'd be geeky/not about the party scene.

My problem though is that I'm very picky. If you smoke/are taller/have kids/do drugs/have 0 common interests/don't feel the same way about marriage/aren't in some way 'active' then you're out. You're able to figure out all these things by checking out the questions and looking at the match %.

Everyone is different though.

 

[Drensch]

Anyone find the % match meaningless?

I seem to have nothing in common with my highest matches. I don't even care about the questions; I never even read them.

The best matches always seem to be the 50-60% matches. Even some high enemy %

For me it's more about looking through profiles and questions. Match % can be indicative of of compatibility, but a low match % doesn't necessarily mean a bad connection.

 

[120v]

match %s can be a little wonky... but it helps filter out the right wing whackos and whatnot

 

[SRG01]

Never look at the percentage itself. Go into the profile and sort by 'questions you care about' to get more of a feel.

Being open to interracial dating is a big one for me for obvious reasons, so it is literally the first thing I check for even before I read the rest of the profile.

 

[BIGWORM]

Going on another date tonight with chick #4. Going to see Guardians tonight. She sounds excited to see me lol.

 

[Drensch]

Never look at the percentage itself. Go into the profile and sort by 'questions you care about' to get more of a feel.

Being open to interracial dating is a big one for me for obvious reasons, so it is literally the first thing I check for even before I read the rest of the profile.

LOL. Same here, then I screen for homophobes. After that I figure I can check them out.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Never look at the percentage itself. Go into the profile and sort by 'questions you care about' to get more of a feel.

Being open to interracial dating is a big one for me for obvious reasons, so it is literally the first thing I check for even before I read the rest of the profile.

Depends on what you have as deal breakers. For me, smoking, drugs, and bigots end up with low percentage for me. Of course your mileage may vary.

 

[E92 M3]

Going on another date tonight with chick #4. Going to see Guardians tonight. She sounds excited to see me lol.

What are you guys doing after?

 

[SRG01]

LOL. Same here, then I screen for homophobes. After that I figure I can check them out.

Oh, that reminds me of a girl I dated from POF. Somehow she was actually a bigot/racist and I had no idea that was the case until I met up with her o_o

Depends on what you have as deal breakers. For me, smoking, drugs, and bigots end up with low percentage for me. Of course your mileage may vary.

You can filter questions for that too

What are you guys doing after?

I'd make a Guardians of the Galaxy joke, but some people may not have watched it yet

 

[Luigi87]

I'd make a Guardians of the Galaxy joke, but some people may not have watched it yet

Pretty sure I know what line you're thinking of, and if so, it was in one of the trailers, and highly appropriate lol

 

[SRG01]

Pretty sure I know what line you're thinking of, and if so, it was in one of the trailers, and highly appropriate lol

No, I didn't see the line in the trailer at all!

 

[davepoobond]

Had a couple girls message me back but never end up getting a second reply. It's kind of boggling to me how I scare them off, apparently.

I like to go through their questions more thoroughly after they message me... Would people be scared off of they notice that I am going to their profile page more than once or something?

 

[Luigi87]

No, I didn't see the line in the trailer at all!

Hm, maybe I got it wrong!

Spoiler

Something good? Something bad? Little bit of both?

Had a couple girls message me back but never end up getting a second reply. It's kind of boggling to me how I scare them off, apparently.

I like to go through their questions more thoroughly after they message me... Would people be scared off of they notice that I am going to their profile page more than once or something?

I dunno about the latter (though I always feel awkward re-checking their profile page admittedly after they respond to me). I know the feeling though. At the very least I'm pretty sure the most recent single reply I got, I my follow-up was kind of garbage, lol

 

[SRG01]

Hm, maybe I got it wrong!

Spoiler

Something good? Something bad? Little bit of both?

No not that line


Also, I'm coming to the realization that I don't really care about dating or a relationship these days. I mean, sure I enjoy meeting new girls, but I like meeting new people regardless of whether it was a date or not.

So yeah, I'm not entirely sure what I should do with this newfound knowledge.

 

[120v]

some girl i know in real life messaged me on okc and i noticed she changed her profile real quick to include my interests and took off her "tall guys ONLY" requirement. i thought it was amusing... but she's like a decade younger than me so I just left it at oh hai wassup

 

[BIGWORM]

What are you guys doing after?

Did nothing after. She has work early in the morning (5am, in fact). We're getting together again before the end of the week. She said I have soft lips. Works for me.

 

[davepoobond]

LOL i 5 starred some girl on Quickmatch, but didn't message her last night because i was tired. I get on right now and refresh the page and she's just gone.

i guess she blocked me lol. or was really sad about me 5 starring her and nuked the account

 

[ReiGun]

So I made an OKC profile and I was hoping someone could take a look and see if I could improve on it at all (I feel like I'm terrible at making these things): http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Brah_of_Steel1/

I'm surprised so many are getting good results from Tinder. Site's given me nothing thus far. lol

 

[BIGWORM]

LOL i 5 starred some girl on Quickmatch, but didn't message her last night because i was tired. I get on right now and refresh the page and she's just gone.

i guess she blocked me lol. or was really sad about me 5 starring her and nuked the account

I just had that happened a few days ago. On POF, a chick wanted "to meet me," or the OKC equivalent of a like. I introduced myself, she says "hey there," I go to reply back: "You have been blocked by this user."

...k.

 

[electricshake]

LOL i 5 starred some girl on Quickmatch, but didn't message her last night because i was tired. I get on right now and refresh the page and she's just gone.

i guess she blocked me lol. or was really sad about me 5 starring her and nuked the account

Or she met someone and deactivated her account. Doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you.

 

[davepoobond]

Or she met someone and deactivated her account. Doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you.

Of course I understand that, but sequence of events just makes it humorous to me. I actually don't think it is that though, because the profile was sort of one of those "skeptical about online dating" things, so who knows what it actually was.

 

[Smiley90]

Of course I understand that, but sequence of events just makes it humorous to me. I actually don't think it is that though, because the profile was sort of one of those "skeptical about online dating" things, so who knows what it actually was.

Happens more often than you think though - if they get an email from OKC when someone stars them she might've realized "oh right I still have my account, I'll deactivate since I'm seeing someone now"

 

[SRG01]

Or even more likely is that they think you have a good profile, but don't really want to date you.

 

[davepoobond]

Happens more often than you think though - if they get an email from OKC when someone stars them she might've realized "oh right I still have my account, I'll deactivate since I'm seeing someone now"

She was supposedly online at the moment though. Forgot to mention that.


Anyway, it seems like I'm getting a bit more traction on ok Cupid for some reason all of a sudden.

 

[capawe]

Wait, you need 50 facebook friends for Tinder to work? Could that be why I suddenly stopped getting matches (went from around 5 a week to nothing for the past 3 weeks)? I culled my facebook friends list to people I actually interact with, went from 150 friends to 43.

 

[Leunam]

Figures that the first person to message me wants clients for some pyramid scheme.

On the plus side I've finally gotten responses on okc, so at least that's improving.

 

[B-Dubs]

So I not only got my first response in a week or so but this girl I met on the subway gave me her number and email. Everything's coming up Millhouse!

 

[Kyne]

So my 2nd date with the girl I messaged from OkCupid. Things are looking pretty good.. went in for a cheek kiss (I'm super lame) and she responded with something akin to "Cheek? Is that all?" So I laid a couple of 'em on her.. (no tongue though..)

Ugh I'm so bad at this.

 

[Smiley90]

So my 2nd date with the girl I messaged from OkCupid. Things are looking pretty good.. went in for a cheek kiss (I'm super lame) and she responded with something akin to "Cheek? Is that all?" So I laid a couple of 'em on her.. (no tongue though..)

Ugh I'm so bad at this.

awwwwwww sounds like it went well though!

 

[SRG01]

So my 2nd date with the girl I messaged from OkCupid. Things are looking pretty good.. went in for a cheek kiss (I'm super lame) and she responded with something akin to "Cheek? Is that all?" So I laid a couple of 'em on her.. (no tongue though..)

Ugh I'm so bad at this.

awwwww yeah, that's awesome dude

Also, nothing wrong with a kiss on the cheek on the second date. Gentlemanly and classy.

 

[ReiGun]

Hilarious that when I start my online dating adventure, the first time a woman messages me first is not on my new Okc profile or Tinder, but on my Twitter of all things. A girl who follows me messages me out the blue like "I think you're attractive."

I've had that Twitter since sophomore year of college and my DM's have been dry the entire time. I start an okc, this happens. The irony is killing me. lol

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

"There's no one new around you"

Well then, time to delete my account.

 

[Smiley90]

"There's no one new around you"

Well then, time to delete my account.

And then re-open it with a different profile picture.