They really are. Pretty sure I just got rejected for not having seen the Uptight Citizen's Brigade yet.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
They really are. Pretty sure I just got rejected for not having seen the Uptight Citizen's Brigade yet.
I message any girl that has a heartbeat. Works for me. Then again I just send horrible messages while on my main monitor I play D2. : /
Okay, so I came back from my date yesterday, and it was...interesting.
First the good stuff. I find somewhat of a shortcut to her place, so the drive wasn't as bad as it was last time. She seems a lot more engaged than she did last time, and we kissed quiet a few times throughout the night where she actually seemed really into it, as opposed to last week where I got what appeared to be a very quick, reluctant peck on the lips. And to top it all off, I spent WAY less than last time. So overall, much, much better than last week.
Now here's the other part. This isn't really bad, just...something I wasn't expecting. This chick is a model, which I knew beforehand. What I didn't know until yesterday was that occasionally she does nude modeling as well. Nothing porn related, just the very, um.."tasteful" stuff. Okay, whatever I can live with that, I suppose. But then she drops a bomb on me. She invites me to a nudist swingers party that will be happening some time this week. Needless to say, I was a bit surprised at such an offer. Also needless to say, I've never been to such a party.
What do you guys think? Should I go for it?
First the good stuff. I find somewhat of a shortcut to her place, so the drive wasn't as bad as it was last time. She seems a lot more engaged than she did last time, and we kissed quiet a few times throughout the night where she actually seemed really into it, as opposed to last week where I got what appeared to be a very quick, reluctant peck on the lips. And to top it all off, I spent WAY less than last time. So overall, much, much better than last week.
Now here's the other part. This isn't really bad, just...something I wasn't expecting. This chick is a model, which I knew beforehand. What I didn't know until yesterday was that occasionally she does nude modeling as well. Nothing porn related, just the very, um.."tasteful" stuff. Okay, whatever I can live with that, I suppose. But then she drops a bomb on me. She invites me to a nudist swingers party that will be happening some time this week. Needless to say, I was a bit surprised at such an offer. Also needless to say, I've never been to such a party.
What do you guys think? Should I go for it?
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Well if you like her I think you might have to do it. Depends on if you think she's worth it if you're uncomfortable going to one of those parties.
Also, swinger party means she's gonna be banging other people and not you I guess right?
Also, swinger party means she's gonna be banging other people and not you I guess right?
Well, if you're asking if I'd be uncomfortable getting naked, that's not really an issue. What I'm mainly wondering if these kinds of parties are safe to go to.
She said she would stay with me the entire time. I'd hope so considering it would be pretty weird if she started banging other dudes before we got a chance to bang first.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
It just depends what kind of people are assembling. I've never been to one either, but is it set up by her friends, a company, did she find it on Craigslist or from a friend, etc etc
If you are okay with the idea of a swinger party to begin with, then you have to ask the other questions if you want to be careful/responsible.
But there's also the effort part of it. Is she worth going to a questionable social situation such as this?
If you are okay with the idea of a swinger party to begin with, then you have to ask the other questions if you want to be careful/responsible.
But there's also the effort part of it. Is she worth going to a questionable social situation such as this?
NoctisVsStar
Member
Stay safe bro but you should first inquire more about this "party"
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Hopefully she doesn't also invite all of her hot nude model friends too
I'd hope that doesn't make a difference though, cause otherwise why bother inviting little ole' me?
Go do it. Live a little.
I was invited to a camping trip this previous weekend but I saw who was going and it was like 8 dudes and 5 girls. I saw that they all went skinny dipping and it was basically a hook-up thing. Good thing I didn't go 'cause there's a chance I'd be one of the guys around the camp fire as the rest were fucking. Would be weird.
I was invited to a camping trip this previous weekend but I saw who was going and it was like 8 dudes and 5 girls. I saw that they all went skinny dipping and it was basically a hook-up thing. Good thing I didn't go 'cause there's a chance I'd be one of the guys around the camp fire as the rest were fucking. Would be weird.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
multiple threesomes going on, bro
some girl i messaged didn't reply back to me for 11 days and randomly decided to reply today. i asked what her favorite star wars character was, and she asked what mine was -- i said jar jar in coy and she told me she hates him deeply and that it would never work
more funny than anything else, really.
RandyBobandy
Banned
Messaged someone who was 99% enemy for a laugh and turns out she's pretty cool :lol
Hey, so I remade my OKC account a few days and while I'm getting plenty of quick matches, 8/10 of those matches don't reply to message. Usually I'm just asking how their Summer's been, if something catches my eye in a profile I'll try and throw it in as well. I should say, I only write to people I quick match. Ya, ya, numbers game and all that.
www.okcupid.com/profile/lulubopper
Here's my profile, I'm open to any suggestions on making it better.
In terms of online dating, I've tried a ton of stuff. Not a really a fan POF, and I never have any luck on Tinder. Surprising but I find Craigslist's to be pretty effective, although girls are flakier than usual.
Summer has been pretty disappointing, had a thing going on with someone I meet on okc in June-July but that fizzled out. Sorta looking for someone as it winds down, thought I found a person like that a week ago but I was mistaken.
www.okcupid.com/profile/lulubopper
Here's my profile, I'm open to any suggestions on making it better.
In terms of online dating, I've tried a ton of stuff. Not a really a fan POF, and I never have any luck on Tinder. Surprising but I find Craigslist's to be pretty effective, although girls are flakier than usual.
Summer has been pretty disappointing, had a thing going on with someone I meet on okc in June-July but that fizzled out. Sorta looking for someone as it winds down, thought I found a person like that a week ago but I was mistaken.
Use your last picture as your main one. You def look hottest in that one.
Agreed.
I feel I'm in a frustrating situation where I think my profile is where I'd like it to be, it lingers a bit but I think it pretty effectively conveys me as a person, but my photos are lacking pretty badly compared.
This is due to a wild cocktail of not really taking enough photos to have mastered a 'photogenic' face, unsatisfactory weight level and having no real 'action' photos.
I'm in the middle of a transition period (both weight loss and hair/beard growth) so it's not a particularly great time for photos, but I have been having mild success with messaging and such, and while I initially planned to halt the dating until moving out in October, women have popped up and forced my hand!
Don't really know if there is advice to be given from what I've written, but talking about this stuff is pleasing.
This is due to a wild cocktail of not really taking enough photos to have mastered a 'photogenic' face, unsatisfactory weight level and having no real 'action' photos.
I'm in the middle of a transition period (both weight loss and hair/beard growth) so it's not a particularly great time for photos, but I have been having mild success with messaging and such, and while I initially planned to halt the dating until moving out in October, women have popped up and forced my hand!
Don't really know if there is advice to be given from what I've written, but talking about this stuff is pleasing.
electricshake
Member
Am female, can confirm.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
"Meesa was joking!"
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
What are people's success rates with coffee meets bagel? I've Had like 15 different "bagels" so far but no matches. Feels like another waste of time, unfortunately.
Not to regurgitate my original question, but someone pointed out something that I never thought of and may be the answer for all of us.
He said, sometimes the reason people flake is because they have unrealistic expectations o what they are lookig for and when they see one flaw even if it is small they run.
And this is so true because even I am guilty o having expectations that may be too high for most.
Just thought I would share this.
He said, sometimes the reason people flake is because they have unrealistic expectations o what they are lookig for and when they see one flaw even if it is small they run.
And this is so true because even I am guilty o having expectations that may be too high for most.
Just thought I would share this.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
It makes sense, I think we are all guilty of that, but I tend to have some automatic deal breakers such as children, drug usage and "God/Jesus" as the first or revolving mention of the profile.
I should probably be more tolerant of "country music" but I just hate it so much, I don't ever want to listen to it
A friend of mine met an amazing guy on CMB and has been dating him for two months. She's absolutely smitten.
On a related note - I met an amazing woman on OKC. After our first date I disabled my profile (could've ended terribly) and she told me a few days later she did the same. It was the second date I went on from OKC, I couldn't be happier right now.
OriginofHysteria
Banned
So does anyone know how to not make your main Facebook photo as your main CMB photo?
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Yeah you can change your photos in the settings window and click your profile. Then you click the "edit" in the upper corner and you can choose any 4 pictures you want.
You can upload any photo from your hard drive if you wish
There's a new app that a few friends have been using called Hinge. A little like CMB and a little like tinder. I haven't tried it out yet. But I'm a little hesitant to try new dating sites because the main factor is the number of people on the site.
http://hinge.co
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/30/fashion/hinge-a-dating-app-introduces-friends-of-friends.html?_r=0
1. Don't write casual sex as a looking for
2. Your profile looks like every other dude's profile out there who took this shit seriously
3. Don't take this shit seriously
4. People don't write long profiles--yeah, yeah, some women read it all but the majority are going to look at photos, take a quick glance for words they will be affiliated with and move on
5. Do not say, "I'm terrible at filling these self profiles out." Everyone says that
AlphaTwo00
Member
God damnit.
Hi guys.
I think I had lurked around the OKC thread while it was still around, and was mostly reading what people said and such. At the time I had both okc, pot and even eharmony going. And then things worked out well for me with OKC, and it lasted for 5 months, until this weekend. I felt something was up, we weren't talking as much, and it was looking more and more like a chore just to do things. She wasn't "feeling" it. I gave her some time to make sure that's what she wants. We're moving on.
This feels god damn depressing.
...and at the same time, I've closed some of those accounts already. It feels like god damn chore right now.
Tell me it gets better.
Hi guys.
I think I had lurked around the OKC thread while it was still around, and was mostly reading what people said and such. At the time I had both okc, pot and even eharmony going. And then things worked out well for me with OKC, and it lasted for 5 months, until this weekend. I felt something was up, we weren't talking as much, and it was looking more and more like a chore just to do things. She wasn't "feeling" it. I gave her some time to make sure that's what she wants. We're moving on.
This feels god damn depressing.
...and at the same time, I've closed some of those accounts already. It feels like god damn chore right now.
Tell me it gets better.
I've said it before. I think a lot of flakers had no intentions to meet in the first place. They are liking all the attention they are getting online and rather keep it that way.
I was on the other end of that half a year ago...I ended it after half a year because I wasn't "feeling it". That's kind of the moment where the initial butterflies go away and you're like "is this person really someone I could see myself spending the next couple years with", and if the answer is no... well then it's better for both of you to move on. Sorry to hear though . 
I was on the other end of that half a year ago...I ended it after half a year because I wasn't "feeling it". That's kind of the moment where the initial butterflies go away and you're like "is this person really someone I could see myself spending the next couple years with", and if the answer is no... well then it's better for both of you to move on. Sorry to hear though .
Something similar happened in my last relationship. My ex still didn't love me after more than eight months, whereas I was in love. I really thought about breaking up with her at that time, but decided to try and work things out.
In retrospect, I still don't know whether that was the right choice or not, considering the questionable circumstances of how it all ended.
It's hard. I wouldn't blame myself I were you. You were in love, you weren't exactly in the best position to make the "objectively right" decision at the time. Love makes you VERY hopeful. I mean, I fought for my relationship with my ex three times after she told me she wanted to break up and only stopped fighting the fourth time so I know a thing or too about being stupid.
Anytime I hear someone say "dating sucks" you have to wonder how much fun that person can be on dates with that mindset.
OriginofHysteria
Banned
I think she means the process of finding a date sucks. I know it sucks.
But I enjoy going on dates
Halcyon
Member
I have a date lined up on sunday afternoon that I got from POF. She seems pretty cool and we have some things in common.
I still say the most effective response rate is to make a statement as your first message. I hardly ever introduce myself and I don't ask any questions.
Granted this particular instance it took her a month to respond, but I put little to no effort into my messages and I get pretty good reaction.
I still say the most effective response rate is to make a statement as your first message. I hardly ever introduce myself and I don't ask any questions.
Granted this particular instance it took her a month to respond, but I put little to no effort into my messages and I get pretty good reaction.
Dating does suck, and I've been told I'm an exceptionally fun date!
It sucks because ultimately a majority of a person's dates will be duds. If dating didn't suck, everyone would be in their ideal mating situation/arrangement.
It's hard. I wouldn't blame myself I were you. You were in love, you weren't exactly in the best position to make the "objectively right" decision at the time. Love makes you VERY hopeful. I mean, I fought for my relationship with my ex three times after she told me she wanted to break up and only stopped fighting the fourth time so I know a thing or too about being stupid.
Haha, yeah I stopped after we fought for like three months straight
Her being away in a small town for an internship didn't help either...Dating does suck, and I've been told I'm an exceptionally fun date!
It sucks because ultimately a majority of a person's dates will be duds. If dating didn't suck, everyone would be in their ideal mating situation/arrangement.
You guys do know this does rub off in your demeanor right? People can sense desperation for a relationship a mile away. And of course the majority of people will say you are an exceptionally fun date because, well, they want to be nice. As you said, most of them are duds so there really could not have been something great about them.
Just have fun even if you think it will be a dud. The worst is you lose $50.
I also hate dating. I just want to be thrown into a nice - working relationship. I feel like I'm pretty good at hiding the fact that I hate dating though. I did 8 years of acting so there's that..
Out of Working Order
Member
Just curious what anyone else would do here.
Yesterday I changed my profile picture on my dating profile. This afternoon I check, and I've had four emails and three views (never seen this before). When I go into my emails, they're all from the same woman.
The woman in question is somebody I was messaging several months ago, when she suddenly stopped. When I change my profile picture, all of a sudden she's sent four messages, two apologising for not replying, and the last one asking to meet up.
Yesterday I changed my profile picture on my dating profile. This afternoon I check, and I've had four emails and three views (never seen this before). When I go into my emails, they're all from the same woman.
The woman in question is somebody I was messaging several months ago, when she suddenly stopped. When I change my profile picture, all of a sudden she's sent four messages, two apologising for not replying, and the last one asking to meet up.
Meet up with her?
Do it. Go for it. She won't kill you.
Here's something I learned about Tinder .
If you're decent looking, in decent shape, have one of your 5 pictures showing off your body, and have something suggestive in your profile.
Girls will message you first, they will mention the suggestive thing in your profile, and hooking up is very easy. If that's all you're looking for of course.
If you're decent looking, in decent shape, have one of your 5 pictures showing off your body, and have something suggestive in your profile.
Girls will message you first, they will mention the suggestive thing in your profile, and hooking up is very easy. If that's all you're looking for of course.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
"I like long walks on the beach. And by 'long walks' I mean sex and by 'the beach' I mean your bed."
Is that suggestive enough?
I honestly think you're being contraian for the sake of being contraian.
Well, it seems those with the mindset of, "Dating sucks!" and "Gah! I hate the numbers game and all that!" tend to create their own misery. It's dating. Just have fun. Your poor attitude isn't hidden that well. You're not Daniel Day Lewis. I have fun with my dates and being kind in general and it's worked out well for me so far. Then again, I'm not really looking for a relationship more friends and see what happens type thing, but the point still stands: don't be a downer, have a positive attitude about it and you won't be bitter and asking why things aren't working out or why they don't respond to my long messages.
Out of Working Order
Member
Nobody thinks that's a bit weird? 4 messages in the space of an hour?
Not to mention I've never dated and am nearly 30. Because I've never had a social life, or travelled, or done much of anything, I am worried she will find me completely uninteresting. And a loser. She keeps saying in her messages that she's meeting other men and she's not 'feeling a spark' despite them being 'nice guys'. If other men aren't measuring up to her standards, what the fuck is she going to think of me?