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[bananafactory]

Never tried this online dating thing before but it's been almost 7 years since I've even been on a date so figured I have nothing to lose.

Anyways I've been messaging this girl back and forth this week and feel like it's going good, might ask her to meet up for coffee but not sure what the etiquette for online dating (or even dating in general anymore) is:

How do you greet them when you first meet? Handshake? (seems ridiculous since that's what I do for a job interview) Hug? (feel like this is more appropriate but also maybe weird to hug someone you just met)

I think once the awkwardness of actually meeting/introducing is out of the way I'll be fine, I'm pretty good at carrying a conversation.

Feel free to laugh at my naivety.

 

[GK86]

Thanks for the input! I went ahead and messaged her, and I'm waiting to see what happens.

No problem. Definitely listen to Stn and don't be around the bush when asking her out. Also, try and get her number quickly and get off Tinder as your method of communication with her.

How much travel time are you guys considering for prospective dates/girlfriends?

I feel like I'm okay with up to about 45 minutes one way. There was a girl who seemed like I could set a date up with, but she was almost 2 hour drive away, but LA traffic would make that longer almost all of the time. I know meeting halfway is an option to "meet up" but if we get to the point of dating regularly, I can't see myself being able to put in that kind of drive time.

It goes into my thought process for the main reason you stated. An hour, maybe an hour and a half at most for me. But you at least have a car. I have to rely on public transportation.

Never tried this online dating thing before but it's been almost 7 years since I've even been on a date so figured I have nothing to lose.

Anyways I've been messaging this girl back and forth this week and feel like it's going good, might ask her to meet up for coffee but not sure what the etiquette for online dating (or even dating in general anymore) is:

How do you greet them when you first meet? Handshake? (seems ridiculous since that's what I do for a job interview) Hug? (feel like this is more appropriate but also maybe weird to hug someone you just met)

I think once the awkwardness of actually meeting/introducing is out of the way I'll be fine, I'm pretty good at carrying a conversation.

Feel free to laugh at my naivety.

I have met a few woman, and hugs seem the way to go. It will be awkward as hell when you first meet them.

 

[bananafactory]

I have met a few woman, and hugs seem the way to go. It will be awkward as hell when you first meet them.

That doesn't really help my nerves =/ lol.

Thanks for the advice, though.

 

[Nestled_Grizzly]

Edit:
Nevermind

 

[Soi-Fong]

Tinder sucks for the Burbs. I always run out of new people. Lol

 

[SRG01]

Considering making the jump from OKC to match.com - but $43 for a month of their service is pretty steep. On the other hand, I'll find people serious that are willing to spend money, like myself. Hmm

Vince, don't get the 1-month packages. It's a rip-off. Wait until there's a special or buy a multi-month package.

There's absolutely no way you can fully utilize an online dating service in one month, so you might as well stay for longer.

The only problem with Match is that you don't know who is paid or not unless they are elite (or whatever they call it). So you may write to people with no way of writing you back.

They only appear green if they paid for the slightly more expensive plan which highlights your profile. The plan still allows you to message, but without the highlight.

Actually, a lot of girls deliberately don't have the highlight so they don't get a deluge of messages.

 

[OriginofHysteria]

So I'm back on OKC after a one month hiatus...revamped my profile from scratch.

If anyone wants to comment + critique on the pro, here it is:

My self-summary
I'm going to start out with the fact that I'm pretty awesome. I am 26 years old, I'm a huge hockey fan..I've been playing since I was 5 and I still play now. I'm a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs so I know what it's like to root for a losing team. I'm also a football fan, I do like the Jets and I also like watching soccer.

Asides from sports I do enjoy playing video games, watching movies and listening to music. I think that I am an ambitious person and I'm looking for someone who's the same. I want to be able to grow with someone else and just find someone to enjoy life with me. I'm very personable and I love talking to and meeting new people.

Find out more by reading below!
What I’m doing with my life
I'm currently working in the legal field as my "main" job and I'm an ice hockey referee on the weekends. I love doing both things but I definitely think my passion lies within hockey and refereeing games. It is my ultimate goal to ref at least one professional hockey game. It is also a goal of mine to work in sports/entertainment law.

Asides from that I'm finding ways to make myself better and just enjoy life and its positives. I set various goals for myself which is always nice to achieve, I enjoy going to the gym and I always like finding new things to do. Whatever adventure that may be I am up for it. Non career wise, it is a goal of mine to travel and eat authentic cuisine from their respective country.

I’m really good at
Ice skating. I've been doing that forever. If you want to learn, I think I can definitely teach you how to. I'm also good at utilizing movie quotes in to everyday conversation, finding ways to avoid traffic, directions, cooking meals and just analyzing stuff in general.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movies: I love watching movies. My favorites are usually action, comedy and I'll admit I do like some chick flicks as well. I'm a huge fan of the Bond movies and I'll shamelessly admit I have all 23 movies. I also do like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, the Batman movies, Dumb and Dumber, Anchorman, Snatch, Step Brothers, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Aliens...there's a lot to name. You might just have to ask me about the rest.

Shows: The Walking Dead, Suits, Archer, Adventure Time, White Collar, American Horror Story...all in all I'm not really a big TV watcher.

Music: I listen to pretty much anything and everything. My favorite bands are Oasis, Incubus and Muse (more of the older stuff). Other than that I listen to anything from old 80s music to stuff now. I do have a CD in my car which contains 18 of the cheesiest songs ever made. Do inquire.

Food: This is the good stuff. I love trying new cuisine at any point the opportunity arises. I am not a picky eater (save for some disgusting condiments). But I do love sushi (eel ftw), Thai food, Indian food, Italian food, Middle Eastern food...the list goes on. I pretty much like anything. Seriously if you want to go on a food adventure, I'd be down for that.

The six things I could never do without
Hmm six?

Well I couldn't go without (in no particular order):
-Food
-Movies
-Hockey
-My friends and family
-My car (I do need to drive to get from point A to point B)
-The ability to be happy.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
A lot of things really. Your mind constantly has something on it.

Really though, I spend a lot of time thinking about what the future holds for me.

On a typical Friday night I am
I could be doing a number of things. Either I'm out hanging with friends doing whatever, playing hockey, eating something awesome or staying home, watching a movie and/or playing video games.

You should message me if
You know the rules of the game, you've been playing it long enough.

Really though, you should message me if:
-You found anything in my profile interesting.
-You want to go on some awesome adventures.
-You want to try out some new food with me or eat some classics.
-Are a typically fun person, because I will reciprocate the fun-ness and it will be awesome.

 

[Deleted member 47027]

Vince, don't get the 1-month packages. It's a rip-off. Wait until there's a special or buy a multi-month package.

There's absolutely no way you can fully utilize an online dating service in one month, so you might as well stay for longer.

Hmm they have specials? In that case I'll wait. I'm in no rush...I think.

 

[Zemm]

I don't think I'm cut out for this online dating stuff hahaha. I made my first attempt a couple of days ago with an OKC profile and I've only had a few "less than desirable" shall we say women even look at it :'(((( Every time I give people like 4 or 5 stars I cringe, I dunno why it just feels so weird.

 

[Azulsky]

I don't think I'm cut out for this online dating stuff hahaha. I made my first attempt a couple of days ago with an OKC profile and I've only had a few "less than desirable" shall we say women even look at it :'(((( Every time I give people like 4 or 5 stars I cringe, I dunno why it just feels so weird.

Once you realize that the worst that can happen is that you never interact with this person in real life ever you let go of that anxiety.

Then when you realize that many girls are getting so many messages per day based on physical attraction that they just mass delete most of them you come to realize its a bit different game than in person.

Just cast a wide net and see what you get.

Not to discourage you from being genuine but that is how it is.

 

[SRG01]

Hmm they have specials? In that case I'll wait. I'm in no rush...I think.

Not that often though, but they do have them occasionally.

eHarmony has more frequent specials.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

So I'm back on OKC after a one month hiatus...revamped my profile from scratch.

If anyone wants to comment + critique on the pro, here it is:

-The word "awesome" is overused. And don't start by bragging.
-We can see your age, no need to re-state it.
-Sports and video games. This is someone's first impression of you, and while they may be the most important parts of your life, you don't set yourself apart from other guys. I'm not saying you have to lie, but downplay it a bit.
-"I think I am an ambitious person". No, you ARE ambitious. Don't be unsure. Treat this like a job interview. If you said "I think I'm good at accounting" would you get an accounting job?
-Lose the "find out more by reading" part.
-Talk less about your secondary job, it makes your primary job look bad. Say something like "I work in the legal field and also referee hockey games on the weekend. It's a combination of two fields I'm very passionate about. Sometimes I feel like getting paid is a bonus."
-Other goals are nice, but show don't tell. What new things do you like? Gym, travel, food are specific but also a bit generic. For example, "recently I picked up painting with the aim of being the next Michelangelo. I don't think my landlord would be happy with me painting the ceiling of my apartment though."
-The "good at" section is more specific. Provide some examples: what dish are you good at cooking? What movie quote do you drop on a regular basis? Don't say "analyzing stuff in general" since it's non-specific.
-Movies, music, etc. This is basically a list. Don't say "everything", don't say "etc.", don't say "ask for more". Keep the list concise and touch on different genres to show variety. For the food part, what condiments are disgusting? You can elaborate there. "I like hot dogs without ketchup"
-Six things and thinking about are also generic. Go off the board a bit. You said you like Bond. How about "I spend a lot of time thinking about who the best Bond is and why it's Sean Connery."
-"You know the rules of the game" Don't be condescending. Keep this part brief.

Overall your profile is a bit generic and bland. Get rid of the filler and provide some interesting stories. Insert some jokes. You like movie quotes? Put them in your profile.

 

[Zemm]

Once you realize that the worst that can happen is that you never interact with this person in real life ever you let go of that anxiety.

Then when you realize that many girls are getting so many messages per day based on physical attraction that they just mass delete most of them you come to realize its a bit different game than in person.

Just cast a wide net and see what you get.

Not to discourage you from being genuine but that is how it is.

I have "liked" so many people my net could not get any bigger You're right though, I should just message people but then like you say they must get so many a day it's like "what's the point", ahhh.

 

[Deleted member 47027]

Not that often though, but they do have them occasionally.

eHarmony has more frequent specials.

Fuck it. I've got money. Let's roll. I'm ready to move up past Poor Tier people and get to folks who actually earn a living.

 

[Azulsky]

I have "liked" so many people my net could not get any bigger You're right though, I should just message people but then like you say they must get so many a day it's like "what's the point", ahhh.

Castnet is the most efficient strategy for this particular game.

I feel a little shitty too when after liking each other on quickmatch, you take the time to read a profile then type out something sincere in the hopes that she reads it then a week later it doesn't even indicate she has.

It's whatever, nothing really ventured and nothing gained. Just don't go crushing on people based on their profiles and rejection should not even come into the picture.

I still think that I would at least send back a pre made rejection message if I were hot stuff on a dating site. But ill come to that conclusion when I'm drowning in messages.

 

[Zemm]

Thanks, your advice has made me cast a bit wider, back to my home city which is quite a bit away but somewhere I occasionally go to see family and friends, and is a much bigger place than where I currently am so more potential matches.

 

[SRG01]

Fuck it. I've got money. Let's roll. I'm ready to move up past Poor Tier people and get to folks who actually earn a living.

As much as that old OkBlogs post said about paid sites, I've actually received proportionately better experiences through paid sites than free sites. So yeah, good luck

 

[y2dvd]

So many bots on Tinder.

 

[Valus]

Damn, I thought that confessor in the confessions thread that talked about hiding money from his wife was Vince. Guess that isn't the case...

 

[Deleted member 47027]

Damn, I thought that confessor in the confessions thread that talked about hiding money from his wife was Vince. Guess that isn't the case...

lol, I wouldn't ever get put in a situation where I'd have to hide money away from a wife.

from people I know, perhaps, but no, that's not me. Hahahahaha

 

[Aegus]

Back from a date.

I think it went okay. Talked and laughed a lot. Now she has my number but I don't have hers (She wanted to meet before handing her number out when I gave her mine). I told her that to get in touch if she wants to go on another.

I'm thinking I should leave it be and see if she gets in touch.

 

[Azulsky]

Vince is going to buy a 6 or 12 month package then find someone in like a week

 

[Deleted member 47027]

Vince is going to buy a 6 or 12 month package then find someone in like a week

That's my fear. I know I don't have the endurance to keep fishin' around for more than 2 months. 2 months on OKC and I'm fuckin TIRED of it. But it's tough to say.

I'll be going for 3 months, fuck it.

 

[davepoobond]

Back from a date.

I think it went okay. Talked and laughed a lot. Now she has my number but I don't have hers (She wanted to meet before handing her number out when I gave her mine). I told her that to get in touch if she wants to go on another.

I'm thinking I should leave it be and see if she gets in touch.

at this point its probably the best move. then you'll know for sure if she likes you.


no one new to talk to on my front. i think i scared someone off by telling them what i do for work.

 

[OriginofHysteria]

Advice

Thanks for the advice, I actually revamped my profile a bit to what you said and it does look a bit better. Still wanna remove a few things and such but you did touch on some good points.

Also the "You know the rules of the game" bit was a movie quote haha.

 

[stn]

@Origin of Hysteria

My self-summary
I'm going to start out with the fact that I'm pretty awesome. I am 26 years old, I'm a huge hockey fan..I've been playing since I was 5 and I still play now. I'm a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs so I know what it's like to root for a losing team. I'm also a football fan, I do like the Jets and I also like watching soccer.

Take out the awesome part, its overdone. Take out your age. Try to mention something else in addition to sports. Example: salsa dancing?

Asides from sports I do enjoy playing video games, watching movies and listening to music. I think that I am an ambitious person and I'm looking for someone who's the same. I want to be able to grow with someone else and just find someone to enjoy life with me. I'm very personable and I love talking to and meeting new people.


Find out more by reading below!

Take this whole part out, especially the video games. Let the person find out you're a gamer during the date, not before. Gamers get a bad rep by default.

What I’m doing with my life
I'm currently working in the legal field as my "main" job and I'm an ice hockey referee on the weekends. I love doing both things but I definitely think my passion lies within hockey and refereeing games. It is my ultimate goal to ref at least one professional hockey game. It is also a goal of mine to work in sports/entertainment law.

Asides from that I'm finding ways to make myself better and just enjoy life and its positives. I set various goals for myself which is always nice to achieve, I enjoy going to the gym and I always like finding new things to do. Whatever adventure that may be I am up for it. Non career wise, it is a goal of mine to travel and eat authentic cuisine from their respective country.

Try to make a joke out of your profession if you can. Are you a lawyer? Make a witty joke about it. Basically, your profile lacks spice. Its very bland and by-the-book.

I’m really good at
Ice skating. I've been doing that forever. If you want to learn, I think I can definitely teach you how to. I'm also good at utilizing movie quotes in to everyday conversation, finding ways to avoid traffic, directions, cooking meals and just analyzing stuff in general.

Ok, this is cool.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movies: I love watching movies. My favorites are usually action, comedy and I'll admit I do like some chick flicks as well. I'm a huge fan of the Bond movies and I'll shamelessly admit I have all 23 movies. I also do like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, the Batman movies, Dumb and Dumber, Anchorman, Snatch, Step Brothers, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Aliens...there's a lot to name. You might just have to ask me about the rest.

Too long. Mention one movie and make a joke about it. Example: I love the Bond movies. Since seeing Pierce Brosnan as 007 I also question my sexual tendencies.

Shows: The Walking Dead, Suits, Archer, Adventure Time, White Collar, American Horror Story...all in all I'm not really a big TV watcher.

See what I wrote for movies.

Music: I listen to pretty much anything and everything. My favorite bands are Oasis, Incubus and Muse (more of the older stuff). Other than that I listen to anything from old 80s music to stuff now. I do have a CD in my car which contains 18 of the cheesiest songs ever made. Do inquire.

Take out everything but the CD in your car.

Food: This is the good stuff. I love trying new cuisine at any point the opportunity arises. I am not a picky eater (save for some disgusting condiments). But I do love sushi (eel ftw), Thai food, Indian food, Italian food, Middle Eastern food...the list goes on. I pretty much like anything. Seriously if you want to go on a food adventure, I'd be down for that.

Again, list less and make a joke of it.

The six things I could never do without
Hmm six?

Well I couldn't go without (in no particular order):
-Food
-Movies
-Hockey
-My friends and family
-My car (I do need to drive to get from point A to point B)
-The ability to be happy.

Erase all of this. Make some joke. Example: I can't go without singing in the shower.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
A lot of things really. Your mind constantly has something on it.

Really though, I spend a lot of time thinking about what the future holds for me.

Boring. Everyone thinks about the future. Again, make a joke. I shamelessly stole a hot dog joke from someone here and I've been getting tons of mileage on it. P.S. Thanks to whoever made the joke.

On a typical Friday night I am
I could be doing a number of things. Either I'm out hanging with friends doing whatever, playing hockey, eating something awesome or staying home, watching a movie and/or playing video games.

Same as before. This is boring because everyone states it. Do you know what I wrote? That I'm suited up. And naked every other day. It works.

You should message me if
You know the rules of the game, you've been playing it long enough.

Really though, you should message me if:
-You found anything in my profile interesting.
-You want to go on some awesome adventures.
-You want to try out some new food with me or eat some classics.
-Are a typically fun person, because I will reciprocate the fun-ness and it will be awesome.

This is too dense. Just make a joke. Example: you should message me if you know how they put the caramel in a Caramilk bar.

Everyone makes lists, they're boring. Keep your profile short and sweet. Remember, you're trying to get someone's attention. And people in general have low attention spans. I get complimented on my profile very often and its 95% shorter than yours. Good luck!

 

[BIGWORM]

In my experience, just mine, I think the opening line in the message counts more than the profile itself. I make it known in the message that my profile is on the skiddish side, and that it's best to get to know one another through conversation.

But, with that being said, my whole profile description isn't "Ask."

 

[OriginofHysteria]

@Origin of Hysteria

My self-summary
I'm going to start out with the fact that I'm pretty awesome. I am 26 years old, I'm a huge hockey fan..I've been playing since I was 5 and I still play now. I'm a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs so I know what it's like to root for a losing team. I'm also a football fan, I do like the Jets and I also like watching soccer.

Take out the awesome part, its overdone. Take out your age. Try to mention something else in addition to sports. Example: salsa dancing?

Asides from sports I do enjoy playing video games, watching movies and listening to music. I think that I am an ambitious person and I'm looking for someone who's the same. I want to be able to grow with someone else and just find someone to enjoy life with me. I'm very personable and I love talking to and meeting new people.


Find out more by reading below!

Take this whole part out, especially the video games. Let the person find out you're a gamer during the date, not before. Gamers get a bad rep by default.

What I’m doing with my life
I'm currently working in the legal field as my "main" job and I'm an ice hockey referee on the weekends. I love doing both things but I definitely think my passion lies within hockey and refereeing games. It is my ultimate goal to ref at least one professional hockey game. It is also a goal of mine to work in sports/entertainment law.

Asides from that I'm finding ways to make myself better and just enjoy life and its positives. I set various goals for myself which is always nice to achieve, I enjoy going to the gym and I always like finding new things to do. Whatever adventure that may be I am up for it. Non career wise, it is a goal of mine to travel and eat authentic cuisine from their respective country.

Try to make a joke out of your profession if you can. Are you a lawyer? Make a witty joke about it. Basically, your profile lacks spice. Its very bland and by-the-book.

I’m really good at
Ice skating. I've been doing that forever. If you want to learn, I think I can definitely teach you how to. I'm also good at utilizing movie quotes in to everyday conversation, finding ways to avoid traffic, directions, cooking meals and just analyzing stuff in general.

Ok, this is cool.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movies: I love watching movies. My favorites are usually action, comedy and I'll admit I do like some chick flicks as well. I'm a huge fan of the Bond movies and I'll shamelessly admit I have all 23 movies. I also do like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, the Batman movies, Dumb and Dumber, Anchorman, Snatch, Step Brothers, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Aliens...there's a lot to name. You might just have to ask me about the rest.

Too long. Mention one movie and make a joke about it. Example: I love the Bond movies. Since seeing Pierce Brosnan as 007 I also question my sexual tendencies.

Shows: The Walking Dead, Suits, Archer, Adventure Time, White Collar, American Horror Story...all in all I'm not really a big TV watcher.

See what I wrote for movies.

Music: I listen to pretty much anything and everything. My favorite bands are Oasis, Incubus and Muse (more of the older stuff). Other than that I listen to anything from old 80s music to stuff now. I do have a CD in my car which contains 18 of the cheesiest songs ever made. Do inquire.

Take out everything but the CD in your car.

Food: This is the good stuff. I love trying new cuisine at any point the opportunity arises. I am not a picky eater (save for some disgusting condiments). But I do love sushi (eel ftw), Thai food, Indian food, Italian food, Middle Eastern food...the list goes on. I pretty much like anything. Seriously if you want to go on a food adventure, I'd be down for that.

Again, list less and make a joke of it.

The six things I could never do without
Hmm six?

Well I couldn't go without (in no particular order):
-Food
-Movies
-Hockey
-My friends and family
-My car (I do need to drive to get from point A to point B)
-The ability to be happy.

Erase all of this. Make some joke. Example: I can't go without singing in the shower.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
A lot of things really. Your mind constantly has something on it.

Really though, I spend a lot of time thinking about what the future holds for me.

Boring. Everyone thinks about the future. Again, make a joke. I shamelessly stole a hot dog joke from someone here and I've been getting tons of mileage on it. P.S. Thanks to whoever made the joke.

On a typical Friday night I am
I could be doing a number of things. Either I'm out hanging with friends doing whatever, playing hockey, eating something awesome or staying home, watching a movie and/or playing video games.

Same as before. This is boring because everyone states it. Do you know what I wrote? That I'm suited up. And naked every other day. It works.

You should message me if
You know the rules of the game, you've been playing it long enough.

Really though, you should message me if:
-You found anything in my profile interesting.
-You want to go on some awesome adventures.
-You want to try out some new food with me or eat some classics.
-Are a typically fun person, because I will reciprocate the fun-ness and it will be awesome.

This is too dense. Just make a joke. Example: you should message me if you know how they put the caramel in a Caramilk bar.

Everyone makes lists, they're boring. Keep your profile short and sweet. Remember, you're trying to get someone's attention. And people in general have low attention spans. I get complimented on my profile very often and its 95% shorter than yours. Good luck!

Hey thanks for the advice, yeah I agree that it is a bit long. I mean I don't like reading long profiles myself so I figured maybe someone else wouldnt want to either. Mind if I take a look at yours? I'm curious as to what this hot dog joke is haha.

 

[Little Nemo]

Hey thanks for the advice, yeah I agree that it is a bit long. I mean I don't like reading long profiles myself so I figured maybe someone else wouldnt want to either. Mind if I take a look at yours? I'm curious as to what this hot dog joke is haha.

Are you looking to get girls to respond or getting them to contact you first? If you just want them to contact you then you don't even need anything serious in it. Just be funny and clever and they'll eat it up regardless of anything "real" you may write. If you'd rather do the hunting then a mix might be better so you don't have to deal with multiple people at once. That's how I got burned out on the OKC. If I were to do it again I'd take it more slow.

Apologies if this has already been stated. Just popping in and haven't read too far back.

 

[The Technomancer]

Okay I might be about to make a huge mistake, but fuck it. I went on a date with this girl from OKC back in the summer and we really hit it off over drinks and ended up making out that night. Next day she's super cold and basically after a few messages says she's too "busy" to do anything again. I'm a bit hurt, thought we got along, but whatever, not a big deal

Last night on a whim I message her again asking if she wants to go out again. Not even expecting a response, what I get back is an enthusiastic "sure!". On the one hand, I mean, based on that one date I do really like this girl. Not like, am attached to her, but just she's a really fun really smart person. On the other hand she did just kind of drop me last time with no explanation.

Well we'll see how screwed I am

 

[BIGWORM]

Okay I might be about to make a huge mistake, but fuck it. I went on a date with this girl from OKC back in the summer and we really hit it off over drinks and ended up making out that night. Next day she's super cold and basically after a few messages says she's too "busy" to do anything again. I'm a bit hurt, thought we got along, but whatever, not a big deal

Last night on a whim I message her again asking if she wants to go out again. Not even expecting a response, what I get back is an enthusiastic "sure!". On the one hand, I mean, based on that one date I do really like this girl. Not like, am attached to her, but just she's a really fun really smart person. On the other hand she did just kind of drop me last time with no explanation.

Well we'll see how screwed I am

Go in, expect nothing.

 

[davepoobond]

Go in, expect nothing.

this.

 

[The Technomancer]

Go in, expect nothing.

Basically where I'm at. I'm just kind of confused that she's so enthusiastically agreeing to making plans considering how weirdly things ended the first time

 

[davepoobond]

Basically where I'm at. I'm just kind of confused that she's so enthusiastically agreeing to making plans considering how weirdly things ended the first time

she probably found someone more interesting to her at the time, and that other person didn't pan out or the same happened there.

 

[Zemm]

I got a match! And she's pretty I'm putting zero expectations on this, I'd be surprised/happy if I even get a reply to my message but at least I know it works and my profile isn't that bad.

 

[SRG01]

she probably found someone more interesting to her at the time, and that other person didn't pan out or the same happened there.

Or she just wants to make out again.

 

[davepoobond]

Some girl was responding to me like I was bugging her and didnt ask me any questions. Pissed me off a little. Why even bother replying if I'm "bothering" you!

 

[cdViking]

Finally took the time to put a profile up. Any thoughts/critiques?

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/cdQuantum?cf=profile

edit: Apparently 4 people like me... probably got complimentary likes to encourage paying the dough to see them.

 

[Lucian Cat]

at this point its probably the best move. then you'll know for sure if she likes you.


no one new to talk to on my front. i think i scared someone off by telling them what i do for work.

What do you do for work that would scare someone off?

 

[davepoobond]

What do you do for work that would scare someone off?

Video editing.


She asked what I did for work, I said video editing and asked what she did. No reply.

 

[Lucian Cat]

Video editing.


She asked what I did for work, I said video editing and asked what she did. No reply.

Lol. I don't see the issue here.

 

[GrizzNKev]

Some girl was responding to me like I was bugging her and didnt ask me any questions. Pissed me off a little. Why even bother replying if I'm "bothering" you!

Everyone responds to me like I'm bugging them.

 

[Azulsky]

Everyone responds to me like I'm bugging them.

I think that is just the awkwardness of communicating through text. You are actually imposing your own fears into the outcome of the conversation, "I bet she doesn't want to talk to me", and shooting yourself in the foot before you even begin.

unless they send an ultimatum/finalizing type of response, the fact that they are responding indicates interest.

That being said, I too prefer real life conversations. Even Skype isn't really a substitute for meeting someone in person. The longer you don't meet in person the longer you are coloring in your mental picture of them.

This is why the intro "coffee date" is kinda important to get to, and why many people recommend using OKC or similar as a stepping stone only and not a crutch.

 

[Soi-Fong]

What's usually good for a first meeting? I'm guessing a coffee date like mentioned above, but meeting halfway? The girl I'm talking to right now is about 12 or so miles away, so not too bad.

Really enjoying just us texting back and forth right now though. We've both been active in answering and asking questions and generally just wanting to know each other while also talking about common interests. I'm actually a bit surprised since she's been more open with her feelings and complimenting me than I have to her. Which is even more surprising since I personally think she has me beat on looks.

 

[Azulsky]

What's usually good for a first meeting? I'm guessing a coffee date like mentioned above, but meeting halfway? The girl I'm talking to right now is about 12 or so miles away, so not too bad.

Really enjoying just us texting back and forth right now though. We've both been active in answering and asking questions and generally just wanting to know each other while also talking about common interests. I'm actually a bit surprised since she's been more open with her feelings and complimenting me than I have to her. Which is even more surprising since I personally think she has me beat on looks.

If it's like that meet her for lunch. Things seem to be going well so having a more rigid time commitment is safer. Pick something easy like sushi or a sandwich shop.

The coffee date is popular because it's either just a quick cup if there is no attraction or if it goes well it can keep going. Just very flexible and safe time wise. Doesn't have to be coffee either if it was summer it could be a snowball stand or a gelato shop or boba tea. Maybe this time of year coffee/tea is more practical because warmth.

 

[SRG01]

Lol. I don't see the issue here.

Maybe not seen as a 'lucrative' or 'prestigious' job?

I've had instances where I tell people I'm a teacher/professor and they run towards the hills.

 

[hipgnosis]

What's usually good for a first meeting? I'm guessing a coffee date like mentioned above, but meeting halfway? The girl I'm talking to right now is about 12 or so miles away, so not too bad.

I usually always go for drinks for the first date. It relaxes both and discussion goes more smoothly. Of course if you don't drink alcohol coffee would be great as well.

I usually go with the following set up:

First date: Drinks in a bar
Second date: Invite the girl over

Usually goes great and it's easy to check how interest the girl is.

 

[stn]

First meeting is always coffee. Here's why:

-Its during the day so its less "intense"
-Its cheap
-Coffee shops have great atmosphere

If a girl is interested then the place won't matter, so why not make it as painless (and cheap) as possible?

 

[davepoobond]

I think that is just the awkwardness of communicating through text. You are actually imposing your own fears into the outcome of the conversation, "I bet she doesn't want to talk to me", and shooting yourself in the foot before you even begin.

unless they send an ultimatum/finalizing type of response, the fact that they are responding indicates interest.

Not saying you are incorrect, but that's not the full picture.

Not engaging in a two way conversation is the opposite of showing interest IMO. People who give one word answers, answer a question and don't ask anything back. They don't want you to reply, but apparently they've got not much else better to do so they reply. It could be related to an ego stroking as well.

If it comes down to it and you ask them 10 questions In a row without them asking anything back, how can that be seen as interest or even someone youd want to keep talking to? Like others have said earlier, they are just talking to themselves and you would be too.

Maybe not seen as a 'lucrative' or 'prestigious' job?

I've had instances where I tell people I'm a teacher/professor and they run towards the hills.

Who knows. Most people are like "that's cool!" Just thought it was weird that was the thing that stopped them from responding this time seemingly.

 

[stn]

@davepoobond

Agreed. Lots of people online will reply for reasons other than interest. That girl who replies to you enthusiastically and then disappears? Not interested. Even if someone is asking questions its not a sign of interest. To me, there's no clear interest until you actually meet on a date. Actions are everything in the world of dating.

Some people can just be bored and want to chat with a random without ever wanting to meet. Some want an ego boost. Some just get caught in the fun feeling of a good message but have no desire to meet. Some are just sympathetic and reply because of it, again with no intention to meet. All these things are factors.