Support NeoGAF

[Jhoan]

Welp guys, it's time for me to move on from this girl once and for all since the writing has been on the wall since I chose not to meet up with her last week; she told me doesn't know when she would be coming back to the city which I think is a lie when I asked. In the end of the day, you guys told me so but I refused to listen since I'm stubborn. But hey, live and learn something new from every experience eh? In this case, make the time for the girl if she's making the time for me.

I'm gonna thank her for being honest, wish her the best of luck, and delete her number/texts for good. This was something that became too serious before meeting up like stn said. For every door that closes, another couple of new ones open although the last couple of girls who's numbers I got these past two days have been silent. I'll bounce back in no time.

 

[NoctisVsStar]

Welp guys, it's time for me to move on from this girl once and for all since the writing has been on the wall since I chose not to meet up with her last week; she told me doesn't know when she would be coming back to the city which I think is a lie when I asked. In the end of the day, you guys told me so but I refused to listen since I'm stubborn. But hey, live and learn something new from every experience eh? In this case, make the time for the girl if she's making the time for me.

I'm gonna thank her for being honest, wish her the best of luck, and delete her number/texts for good. This was something that became too serious before meeting up like stn said. For every door that closes, another couple of new ones open although the last couple of girls who's numbers I got these past two days have been silent. I'll bounce back in no time.

i feel you bro, thing is she said that in hopes of you coming around and changing your mind, when a girl is really into you half the time she will say what you wanna hear. But she wanted a relationship from the get-go the mentality of the majority of the ladies is basically " well what are you here for? if you aren't looking relationship a fuck buddy perhaps?" (rightfully so but on the other hand you're always honest from the beginning) yet i understand that's not what you're doing but i do feel its a bit disingenuous on her part to play along with you saying she felt the exactly the same way, when it reality she wanted a relationship.

 

[SRG01]

I find it interesting how POF will "Ultra" match you with people who on OKC you were sub 70% with

There's no real "matching" algorithm on POF aside from some basic matching. The site always matches me up with random Asian women that are looking for completely different things.

The Chemistry test is absolute shit too, but I believe it's still mandatory for the site.


edit: Just as a clarification, I have nothing against Asian women -- in fact, I'd prefer to date an Asian woman. It's just that a good number of them out there aren't exactly compatible with me.

 

[Jhoan]

i feel you bro, thing is she said that in hopes of you coming around and changing your mind. she wanted a relationship from the get-go the mentality of the majority of ladies is basically " well what are you here for instead of a relationship a fuck buddy perhaps?" (rightfully so i must add but you were honest from the beginning)yet i understand that's not what you're doing but i do feel its a bit disingenuous on her part to play along with you saying she felt the exactly the same way, when it reality she wanted a relationship.

I haven't responded yet since I'm still processing it, thinking about exactly what to say, and waiting for a few thoughts in this thread. However, I think you're right in that I was honest with my indecisiveness from the outset while she was playing along. It is a bummer that she stuck along with me this whole time, fueling my imagination of what she wore to bed, but she wasn't honest about what she wanted. She seems like a nice, sweet girl who I would like to be in a relationship with given how I honest I've been with her about my dating history but the distance does put a damper on things.

The other thing is that it would suck for me to break her heart were I to break it off in several months to a year from now for whatever reason may be. I find myself consistently thinking of where I'll be in January out of college trying to figure out what to do with my life even though friends tell me to think in the moment. I have my ambitions; start a podcast with some will friends from here on GAF, work hard at my artwork and start taking commissions as a freelance artist, develop several comic/graphic novel ideas, and start saving up money for personal investments. I'm no playboy that I haven't been able to get past my personal record of two dates with girls so this is a bit of a bummer for me. Maybe I should express my disappointment and honest because why not?

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Had two dates in two days

First girl I wasn't really feeling, but she wants to do another date

Second one I really liked, but she's being kinda cold so I think that's the end of that

Sucks

What exactly was wrong with the first girl?

 

[NoctisVsStar]

I haven't responded yet since I'm still processing it, thinking about exactly what to say, and waiting for a few thoughts in this thread. However, I think you're right in that I was honest with my indecisiveness from the outset while she was playing along. It is a bummer that stuck along with me this whole time but wasn't honest about. She seems like a nice, sweet girl who I would like to be in a relationship with given how I honest I've been with her about my dating history but the distance does put a damper on things.

The other thing is that it would suck for me to break her heart were I to break it off in several months to a year from now for whatever reason may be. I find myself consistently thinking of where I'll be in January out of college trying to figure out what to do with my life even though friends tell me to think in the moment. I'm no playboy that I haven't been able to get past my personal record of two dates with girls so this is a bit of a bummer for me. Maybe I should express my disappointment and honest because why not?

Well there's one solution yet idk if she would agree to the terms lol... hear me out for a sec Lets say for the sake of argument you tell her that you really feeling her but distance is sort of a deal breaker..Now you tell her about how uncertain you are once Jan comes and all thats going thru your head about life after college..would she agree to be in a non mutual exclusive relationship for the time being? ( until you figure your shit out) but once you do y'all become an item.. or maybe just maybe i have no idea what i'm saying loco dime a ver? lol

 

[Jhoan]

Well there's one solution yet idk if she would agree to the terms lol... hear me out for a sec Lets say for the sake of argument you tell her that you really feeling her but distance is sort of a deal breaker..Now you tell her about how uncertain you are once Jan comes and all thats going thru your head..would she agree to be in a non exclusive relationship for the time being?.. or maybe just maybe i have no idea what i'm saying loco dime a ver? lol

I get what you're saying. In fact, I have most those things you stated written with one question. Why did she stick around talking to me when other girls would've moved on when I was unable to meet up with them? I sent her a loaded text. This is has become too much of a loaded gun already so I may as well finish what I started since I kind of want some kind of closure.

Stealth update: She said that she thought that I would stop talking to her after she bailed on me. Obviously that wasn't going to change a thing since like with any girl, if I can't meet up with them on the day of, I try to suggest rescheduling even after making a bad first impression.

 

[Rich!]

why do i read your messages in homer's voice? based Rich.

Tramopoline!!
Trambampoline!!!

 

[SRG01]

I'm just tired of modern dating. There's absolutely no way I can vie for the attention of a woman who, at any given time, may have 3-4 suitors who are already ahead of me in looks, status, lifestyle, and more importantly not Asian.

I can't blame the woman for choosing the best guy for her. I blame the system for how unfair it can be for average people.

 

[RandyBobandy]

What exactly was wrong with the first girl?

She was boring. Nice enough gal, but didn't think that would go any where

 

[HGStormy]

Basically got a booty call from a gorgeous girl close by (Who also happens to be into videogames and cuddling). Did my usual thing and got anxious and said no. O whale.

Eh, yeah. I still think the best way to meet people is through friends of friends.

What if I don't have friends?

 

[StarlordDial]

Eh, yeah. I still think the best way to meet people is through friends of friends.

If onlyyyy i had friends ;_,

 

[HGStormy]

:x

That's kind of a red flag, though, honestly.

I.. don't know what you're referring to. Could you explain? My brain barely works when I'm not super tired :c

 

[Luigi87]

I believe it's a point that if a person doesn't make friends first, it can be a concern for another party regarding that one's ability to socialize with others. This goes even deeper in regard to relationships.

 

[Kyne]

I.. don't know what you're referring to. Could you explain? My brain barely works when I'm not super tired :c

I'll be as harsh as some of the people here are being to others on the public dating sites..

It puts off a "I'm a loser" vibe.

If you don't have any friends I'm not sure a girlfriend should be the first thing you try to attain.

Let's assume you snag a date. Can you imagine telling someone you have no friends when the subject comes up. What kind of impression do you think that will give off?

I guess if you find a match who also has no friends things might go well. :x

 

[y2dvd]

Had two dates in two days

First girl I wasn't really feeling, but she wants to do another date

Second one I really liked, but she's being kinda cold so I think that's the end of that

Sucks

Isn't that how it works? Lol I feel you brah.

Tramopoline!!
Trambampoline!!!

That Homer Simpson thread got me watching The Simpsons all over again starting with the first season, which is underrated if you ask me!

Eh, yeah. I still think the best way to meet people is through friends of friends.

This is the easiest way, but I like trying to talk to strangers. It's more of a fun challenge.

Went on a third date with the same girl and we are still clicking like mad. She loves my quirky sense of humor and conversations never got stale. We are even talking about taking a week trip to Hawaii together. I took her to a park and simply walked around it and had dinner. Simple yet pleasant. I hope this can keep up.

 

[SRG01]

Eh, yeah. I still think the best way to meet people is through friends of friends.

Actually, nearly all the girls I dated that actually ended up in real relationships were through friends. It's just that most of my friends are married now, so they don't know anyone (in the circles too) that is single.

Luckily, I still have OkCupid to meet some casual online friends, since my social life is non-existent because of work.

 

[stn]

That feeling when the same girls keep creeping your profile for days instead of just messaging you. I literally have a list in my head of profiles I expect to see viewing me every day, lol.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Actually, nearly all the girls I dated that actually ended up in real relationships were through friends. It's just that most of my friends are married now, so they don't know anyone (in the circles too) that is single.

Luckily, I still have OkCupid to meet some casual online friends, since my social life is non-existent because of work.

If your social life is non-existent, maybe you should reconsider your employment situation. Your life shouldn't revolve exclusively around work. =\

 

[SRG01]

If your social life is non-existent, maybe you should reconsider your employment situation. Your life shouldn't revolve exclusively around work. =\

My dad is sick and both my parents lost their jobs/retired, and I'm the only one with an income at this point... so I can't just find something else to do. I've been doing this since I was 25-26 as well.

That feeling when the same girls keep creeping your profile for days instead of just messaging you. I literally have a list in my head of profiles I expect to see viewing me every day, lol.

I had this girl from Ohio (nowhere near me) visit me every single day for three weeks. :/

 

[davepoobond]

That feeling when the same girls keep creeping your profile for days instead of just messaging you. I literally have a list in my head of profiles I expect to see viewing me every day, lol.

I have one of those right now except she did message me and I want nothing to do with her. And she visits every couple of days, instead.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

My dad is sick and both my parents lost their jobs/retired, and I'm the only one with an income at this point... so I can't just find something else to do. I've been doing this since I was 25-26 as well.

Ah, well then sorry for being presumptuous. That changes things, but at the same time you can't completely sacrifice your own life and happiness to provide for your family.

(But really, that's admirable, and if girls can't see that, it's their loss.)

 

[Jhoan]

So one last update on the long distance thing since I don't plan to bore you guys with talking about it each time I post given how charged it is so to speak. She told me she doesn't know when she'll back in the city but gave me a rough estimate of mid November to early December so when I told her I'm still dating other girls, she said she's doing the same thing (dating other dudes) and doesn't expect me to stop doing so. However, she doesn't want me to waste my time (I'm not).

I was thinking that maybe should I go out to visit her on a weekend for a change. It'll give me an excuse to see a new city. I'll pitch it to her later tonight after she responds since I know she's working at the moment and usually replies after 6PM on weekdays. To me, it sounds like it's gonna be a long distance FWB relationship since we proceeded into the usual what-are-you-wearing-tonight talk where I ask her what she's wearing to bed for the night and we proceed to send out sexual innuendos. Since she said that she doesn't enough pics of me, I sent her a few tame pics including a shirtless one. I'm totally fine with that if, not happy to be quite honest with you guys. I wouldn't have it any other way should things go in that direction.

In other news, the lawyer girl got back to me around 2:30AM last night apologizing with 3 blocks of texts saying that she was working all weekend long and only just got out of work when she texted me. She proceeded to ask me how my weekend was. I guess it goes to show that if you do cold on a girl for a couple of days after not chasing them, they might start worrying and will eventually respond. I'll do the same with 2 other girls who's numbers I got over the weekend. I proposed seeing a live story telling show with one of those two other girls this week so I'll follow up with her today if not tomorrow.

I know one of the other girls I'm talking to has been studying for exams the entire weekend and told me her birthday is tomorrow but would be working all day and studying to take another exam. The only problem with this girl is that she hasn't laughed at any of my attempts at humor which raises a bit of a red flag in my mind even though she said she's totally down to hang out after her exams are over. Maybe it's one of those cases where the person sounds a bit dry via texts but turns out to be much better in person.

And now I eagerly await Dating-Age OT5. Noctis, did you ever come to terms with your online dating crisis on not giving a hoot about telling your parents how you meet girls?

 

[Soi-Fong]

So, I've been talking with this girl for the past few days on OKC. Things are going pretty well. Just started talking after I noticed both of us "liked" each other on quickmatch.

Messaged her first and we just started talking about different things from her partial deafness to our nationalities, that sorta thing. She complimented me on my looks that sorta thing and I the same.

She seems like a nice girl even apologizing to me for being busy and such with work not being able to always get online and respond to my messages. She, out of the blue today, gave me her phone number without me even hinting at asking for it. Which surprised me considering the last few girls I asked phone numbers from immediately cut me off.

The only thing giving me pause is that I was able to find her Instagram via one of her OKC photos showing her username. From IG, it seems like to me she just got out of a relationship less than a month ago, hence me being hesitant.

Can I get some advice here?

 

[Kyne]

So, I've been talking with this girl for the past few days on OKC. Things are going pretty well. Just started talking after I noticed both of us "liked" each other on quickmatch.

Messaged her first and we just started talking about different things from her partial deafness to our nationalities, that sorta thing. She complimented me on my looks that sorta thing and I the same.

She seems like a nice girl even apologizing to me for being busy and such with work not being able to always get online and respond to my messages. She, out of the blue today, gave me her phone number without me even hinting at asking for it. Which surprised me considering the last few girls I asked phone numbers from immediately cut me off.

The only thing giving me pause is that I was able to find her Instagram via one of her OKC photos showing her username. From IG, it seems like to me she just got out of a relationship less than a month ago, hence me being hesitant.

Can I get some advice here?

any hints on how long her relationship was? Depending on the answer you might be in the reboundddddddddd.

 

[Soi-Fong]

Thats what I was worried about. Not sure how long that was. Havent gotten into those topics. Heck I'm not even sure if I should ask her about it.

 

[Dwayne]

The only thing giving me pause is that I was able to find her Instagram via one of her OKC photos showing her username. From IG, it seems like to me she just got out of a relationship less than a month ago, hence me being hesitant.

Can I get some advice here?

I wouldn't hesitate, you don't know what happened. Not all breakups are messy.

 

[stn]

No, don't ask. Are you a rebound? Find out after you go on a few dates and get a sense for everything. Don't let something from Instagram affect you. And definitely don't bring the matter up. I've mentioned this in other posts but the mood before and during a first date should be "let's have fun". That's it. Good luck!

 

[SRG01]

Some girls just give out their numbers freely if they get a good vibe. I've had quite a few give theirs out like that.

 

[NoctisVsStar]

Noctis, did you ever come to terms with your online dating crisis on not giving a hoot about telling your parents how you meet girls?

Well my mom and sister are starting to come around the idea but they have always been understanding they just tell me to leave it as a last resort since supposebly I'm a good looking guy lol. It's just the thought of how my Spanish friends and my other fam members would react is kinda intimidating not to mention my pops lol

like I don't got trouble meeting girls and starting convos that's easy it's just that every single one of them are taken lol so no luck after I ended my 3yr old relationship ended, Dry spell season lol but things happen when you least expect them tho. But I think I'll give it a try once the semester is over and take a copy of your flow and just date with nothing serious in mind unless I bump into wifey material. Plus I want add some stories along with you guys xD

 

[Soi-Fong]

Some girls just give out their numbers freely if they get a good vibe. I've had quite a few give theirs out like that.

Lol Mine's been the complete opposite. All the other girls I've talked to protect it like it's their baby or something.

 

[SRG01]

Lol Mine's been the complete opposite. All the other girls I've talked to protect it like it's their baby or something.

Yeah, that's super weird. Usually they'll give out their number after setting up a date or once we get a good rapport going. There have only been a couple of times when the girl didn't give me her number with a date set up.

 

[davepoobond]

Yeah, that's super weird. Usually they'll give out their number after setting up a date or once we get a good rapport going. There have only been a couple of times when the girl didn't give me her number with a date set up.

They never give me a number without me asking or "getting to know them" first. Maybe you just look like a nicer guy than some of us other prospective bachelors.

 

[sleepisawesome91]

Well the girl I've been talking to over the past week on tinder just stopped responding to me the day before our date. So that sucks, but the thing I don't get is that she asked me out and she was texting me constantly over the past week? I guess I'll just move on to the next one.

 

[SRG01]

They never give me a number without me asking or "getting to know them" first. Maybe you just look like a nicer guy than some of us other prospective bachelors.

Most girls say that I have a disarming kind of charm, because I'm incredibly respectful and genuine. Those traits never helped me get a girlfriend though :x

 

[RandyBobandy]

Well the girl I've been talking to over the past week on tinder just stopped responding to me the day before our date. So that sucks, but the thing I don't get is that she asked me out and she was texting me constantly over the past week? I guess I'll just move on to the next one.

I've had that. She set up the date then stopped responding in the day of the date. Way of the road

I've done it too though, it's just how it is.

 

[GrizzNKev]

I keep talking to more girls and I have yet to hold the attention of any of the 15 or so I have conversed with.

Ugly lyfe

 

[Deleted member 47027]

Considering making the jump from OKC to match.com - but $43 for a month of their service is pretty steep. On the other hand, I'll find people serious that are willing to spend money, like myself. Hmm

 

[davepoobond]

Considering making the jump from OKC to match.com - but $43 for a month of their service is pretty steep. On the other hand, I'll find people serious that are willing to spend money, like myself. Hmm

Yeah it's probably worth it...

Have you tried coffee meets bagel, though? Seems more like a crowd that is more serious about relationships than your normal dating site/app

I'm thinking about using something paid also, either match or eharmony. I don't know if I would get the same sort of success on their that I have otherwise though

 

[Deleted member 47027]

Yeah it's probably worth it...

Have you tried coffee meets bagel, though? Seems more like a crowd that is more serious about relationships than your normal dating site/app

I'm thinking about using something paid also, either match or eharmony. I don't know if I would get the same sort of success on their that I have otherwise though

Might give it a try. Knowing there's a barrier for entry, money-wise, means it'll cut down on bullshit people who aren't really looking for something serious, and I am.

 

[turtle553]

Might give it a try. Knowing there's a barrier for entry, money-wise, means it'll cut down on bullshit people who aren't really looking for something serious, and I am.

The only problem with Match is that you don't know who is paid or not unless they are elite (or whatever they call it). So you may write to people with no way of writing you back.

 

[Deleted member 47027]

The only problem with Match is that you don't know who is paid or not unless they are elite (or whatever they call it). So you may write to people with no way of writing you back.

Yeah, I set up an account there last night (not paid yet) and I was receiving messages, but no way to send back.

Still, a new pool of people might be what I need to get my energy back into it. No more dirty poors trying to get money out of me.

 

[stn]

With Match, as an unpaid member can you at least see who's sent you a message even if you can't reply?

 

[Nestled_Grizzly]

Ok so last night I got a match on tinder. We talked just a little last night and she said was going to bed and that she will talk to me later with a smiley face. So now I'm wondering do I message her today or let her do it? I'm just feeling like it was a subtle hint that she doesn't want to talk anymore. I mean we barely said anything to each other last night, and I was wanting to maybe go on a date. Ugh.

 

[GK86]

Ok so last night I got a match on tinder. We talked just a little last night and she said was going to bed and that she will talk to me later with a smiley face. So now I'm wondering do I message her today or let her do it? I'm just feeling like it was a subtle hint that she doesn't want to talk anymore. I mean we barely said anything to each other last night, and I was wanting to maybe go on a date. Ugh.

Just message her.

 

[Nestled_Grizzly]

Just message her.

Yeah that's what I thinking. It doesn't hurt.

 

[stn]

I'd say give it another day or so. Build some rapport and then ask her for a coffee. Also, make sure you don't tell her you "maybe" want to go on a date. Just be blunt and confident about it. Good luck!

 

[GK86]

I'd say give it another day or so. Build some rapport and then ask her for a coffee. Also, make sure you don't tell her you "maybe" want to go on a date. Just be blunt and confident about it. Good luck!

I disagree. I don't think Tinder is the type of thing to wait on. Things happen a lot quicker on Tinder and the women move on easily.

 

[Nestled_Grizzly]

I'd say give it another day or so. Build some rapport and then ask her for a coffee. Also, make sure you don't tell her you "maybe" want to go on a date. Just be blunt and confident about it. Good luck!

I disagree. I don't think Tinder is the type of thing to wait on. Things happen a lot quicker on Tinder and the women move on easily.

Thanks for the input! I went ahead and messaged her, and I'm waiting to see what happens.

 

[davepoobond]

How much travel time are you guys considering for prospective dates/girlfriends?

I feel like I'm okay with up to about 45 minutes one way. There was a girl who seemed like I could set a date up with, but she was almost 2 hour drive away, but LA traffic would make that longer almost all of the time. I know meeting halfway is an option to "meet up" but if we get to the point of dating regularly, I can't see myself being able to put in that kind of drive time.