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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
Lone_Prodigy
Member
I don't see any point in second-guessing a date. For future reference, sure. But whether she's interested or not? It's all on whether she wants to meet again.
Then again saying "yes" to a second date during the first date doesn't mean anything until you actually have a second date.
Then again saying "yes" to a second date during the first date doesn't mean anything until you actually have a second date.
Nearly 100% of the girls who've said 'yes' to a second date during the first date didn't result in a second date. Only if they say 'I want to see you again' or something similar does it result in a second date.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Sure, and of course I know that it doesn't mean anything until there is an action towards actually getting that date going. I said as much above.
I don't know if I'm second-guessing more than reflecting on it and how I can possibly improve. I need practice, most of all.
Watch Da Birdie
I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
So, a guy messaged me on OKCupid.
"Hey man".
He's straight, and doesn't seem to share anything in common with me, so I don't know why he sent me a message. What should I say back? Do people on OKCupid usually message people just to be friendly that aren't someone they're attracted to on some level?
"Hey man".
He's straight, and doesn't seem to share anything in common with me, so I don't know why he sent me a message. What should I say back? Do people on OKCupid usually message people just to be friendly that aren't someone they're attracted to on some level?
So how are you all doing? I have a very delayed update for you all if you've been keeping up with the thread from the very start. My girlfriend and I have been together just 3 months. That's four months since we met on OKC. its been one hell of a ride and we're very happy. I couldn't ask for anything more. she is truly a soulmate and an amazing woman. its funny how much the world still takes online dating for granted but I can proudly say at the moment that it has truly been a blessing after all the years of shitty girls i've been through!
thanks for reading!
thanks for reading!
NoctisVsStar
Member
Block him, seems like a creep/psycho bruh
stn
Member
I had a "straight" guy message me once asking if he could eat my ass. He was feeling...experimental. Anyway, just ask him why he's messaging.
Watch Da Birdie
I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
Whoa, you're really overreacting there.
If anything, looking over his profile he seems like a pretty average, boring looking dude. I guess I could respond, maybe I went to school with him, he lives in my area, and just wanted to say hi.
It depends on a lot of factors, to be honest. One girl stood straight up and hugged me when I went into a cafe. Another girl shook my hand (?). Some just said hi and sat my table.
BIGWORM
Member
I usually go in with one hand out feinting a handshake, which could turn into a side hug easily. If, in pre-meet conversation, they say they're excited/looking forward to meeting you, then a hug is generally the best reception.
megamerican
Member
I wouldn't message him back. I get messaged by guys sometimes, and if I reply just to be polite I usually regret it as they typically make some caustic remark how I can't really be straight or something.
It's just wasting their time if your not interested.
Lol sometimes I think im supposed to shake hands but then im like wait this isnt a business meeting. Did you like the hug?
Thats true, maybe its just best to go with the feel of things but I am so timid when it comes to me wanting to do things, so I never end up doing anything at all which I feel like makes things awkward.
Watch Da Birdie
I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
Well, one time a guy hit on me at a bar and I ended up blowing him by the end of the night, so I can't really fault this guy if he's looking for something like that haha. Of course this was a face-to-face interaction, and the guy was a classmate and not a stranger.
I wonder if he knows about that since he goes (going?) to my old college...maybe he recognizes me since I used my initials as my username.
EDIT: He messaged me again! "What's up dude"
I just replied, though, "Nothing much. Have we met? No offense, but I didn't expect a dude to message me lol."
This particular girl gave amazing hugs, and was always super warm and friendly.
But she wanted to be friends... and was kind of 'off' when I asked if she wanted to hang out a couple of times, despite hanging out a couple of times already.
I always go for a hug. This ain't no business meeting! I want to show I'm affectionate from the start. Now how much that escalates of course depends on how the date is going.
I would've gave the same response lol. I'm not sure who goes on OKC looking for friends.
Again, that's damn good. You probably give girls a very good first impression that the first meet up always goes well for you. I'm cooking up one final meet up thread for next month between today and tomorrow so hopefully I'll hear about your latest Tinder adventures then.
As for exchanging pics, I stay far away from Instagram considering how little I use it beyond to post artwork on it. I'm also wary of girls who have their Instagram on page since I think they only want more followers. My picture mail on my phone is also very, very strange that I can't sendn nor receive any via 3G. In order to receive pictures, I have to have Wi-Fi on for some odd reason and in order to send them, I have to upload pictures to Imgur and provide a link. Knowing her though, it'll probably be an I'll-show-you-mines-if you-show-me-yours thing which I wouldn't mind complying with.
I actually haven't hit her up in a few days. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I have other things I'd rather do at the moment (also classes). I'm sure she would be happy as a dog if I hit up tomorrow night asking for pics. My cold sore has been healing but I'm not sure if it'll be gone by the weekend unless I avoid making out with her/going down on her which can be done. Plus I really want to go to a comic event over the weekend but maybe I can do both since it's until Sunday.
As for other girls, I got a girl's number tonight (can't see her until next weekend because she has plans) and I'm expected to get another one by tomorrow. Tried following up with two other girls after a couple of days of not hearing from them last night but I got no response. I think I'm gonna move on if I don't hear back from them by next week. It's a shame because I think both girls are genuinely cool.
Personally, I go for a hug 90% of the time these days as I've become more comfortable dating and talking to women and end with a hug. Before I would usually begin with a handshake since I was comfortable with that but it gave off a cold, business-like greeting. Hugs are warmer and more intimate which is the whole point of meeting up any way.
It does work if you persist and don't take it so seriously. Like I told Lulubop before, you need to have fun with it. I've seen your pictures and you're a fairly decent looking guy but I don't know what I would tell you to do differently. If a girl doesn't respond, it's not the end of the world since you can always try again in a few days; people get busy and procrastinate all the time so need to get frustrated with it.GrizzNKev said:
We've all been there before; I've been there before. If not, then hit up several new girls a day. If anything, my only other suggestion would be host a GAF meet up in your city and maybe girls through there. I think a cool down period might do you some good; volunteer at events, conventions, join a club to meet new people that way. That's what I've done.
Psychoward
Banned
So. This is odd, got a girl's number, had a really good conversation, made plans for Saturday and now I can't find her and a few others in my matches. I would assume they just removed me but it could also be a glitch/I accidentally deleted them or something. Either way, I guess my best case scenario would probably be just to wait until tomorrow and send her a text?
Very polarizing night for me.
One one hand, had a wonderful second date with a girl, complete with good-night kiss. On the other, think I screwed things up with another girl I've just been messaging. Think I overstepped the bounds of acceptable conversation, or maybe just left her confused. Going to try calling tomorrow, hope talking will be more natural than texting.
Also had a very cute redhead just message me. I can barely juggle two...
And I'm still not used to this entire "girls might be interested to you" thing.
One one hand, had a wonderful second date with a girl, complete with good-night kiss. On the other, think I screwed things up with another girl I've just been messaging. Think I overstepped the bounds of acceptable conversation, or maybe just left her confused. Going to try calling tomorrow, hope talking will be more natural than texting.
Also had a very cute redhead just message me. I can barely juggle two...
And I'm still not used to this entire "girls might be interested to you" thing.
Tinder is glitchy like that... at least the Android version that it needs to be patched up. Half of the time you boot it up, the app won't alert you to new messages until you realize it a few days later. I would suggest you close it (by hitting the back button) and reopen it. It'll also tend to abruptly crash at times.
The more girls, the better I always say even if it becomes a bit of a pain in the ass to micromanage at times. Half the time I'll forget that I last spoke to a girl a month ago because life happens until they like my Moment picture on Tinder. Since you're dating phase, always keep your options open. I think that while it's daunting speaking to multiple girls at once, it's fun and it feels good knowing that if one door closes I'll always have other girls waiting in the wings.
Psychoward
Banned
Yeah I'm using the Android version and have definitely noticed it being pretty glitchy and I've only had it for 3 days lol.
And for your second point, I agree. It's so nice not being restricted with only one girl at a time even in the early stages and knowing from the get-go that the girl at least thinks you aren't a troll. That's always a plus.
Edit: Annnnnnnd she's back after logging out and then restarting my phone.
To put things in perspective, the first date I had with the one girl was my first date in about a decade. I've spent more time talking to girls in the past two weeks than in an embarrassing amount of time (lots of self-esteem issues). So to be talking to three concurrently, it's a bit much for me. But apparently girls on OKC like guys familiar with the fighting habits of Kangaroos. Who knew?
I'm hoping when the time comes, I don't have to formally pick one over the other. My sense of empathy is out of whack sometimes, and I'd hate to do that to some girl.
I tried scheduling a date with a girl I liked but had to cancel because I won't have access to a car tonight. Asked if she'd be available Sunday and she said no, and when I asked what other days she might be available soon she just said "I'll let you know".
Really annoyed, was looking forward to this. She seems a bit annoyed with me as well.
Really annoyed, was looking forward to this. She seems a bit annoyed with me as well.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
I would think, for the hug/handshake thing, make a hugging motion (spread your arms out and approach). If they back away or don't reciprocate, stop. At this point you can try to salvage it with a handshake haha.
Tinder has done nothing for me. I swipe right on everyone and any matches I get never come back online.
Tinder has done nothing for me. I swipe right on everyone and any matches I get never come back online.
The whiskey dick struggle is real.
Probably shouldn't have had 5 shots of Jameson and a mug of sangria prior to engaging in physical activity...
Met this girl off tinder. She said she was "too awkward" for hooking up but she's a pretty cool gal, so I initially planned on just hanging out a bit. We had good drink conversations and vibing well I'm assuming since the next thing I know we're up at her place doing shots. Still didn't think anything was going to happen and so we start watching Netflix. Netflix turned into cuddling, which turned into making out which turned to her saying "are you going to fuck me or not?".
She's moving back north in 2 months so this isn't something that's going to be long term, but we're suppose to have a round 2 soon, but we'll see if it happens. We were both really drunk.
In other news I've been seeing this girl for about a month now (also met off Tinder). She doesn't have sex unless she's in a relationship and we've slept in the same bed and did some heavy petting and stuff, but her baggage is starting to crop up more bit by bit and idk if this is something I want to be involved with.
Additionally, how does everyone feel about Tinder + ?
http://venturebeat.com/2014/11/06/get-out-your-credit-card-tinder-plus-is-here/
Basically it only adds an "undo" and "passport", which allows you to match in different cities. The same effect you get from a GPS spoofer, but easier since you can save lots of different places.
I personally don't think those 2 features are worth it. However if they add a feature where you can only match with other matches who have +, that might be something...
Probably shouldn't have had 5 shots of Jameson and a mug of sangria prior to engaging in physical activity...
Met this girl off tinder. She said she was "too awkward" for hooking up but she's a pretty cool gal, so I initially planned on just hanging out a bit. We had good drink conversations and vibing well I'm assuming since the next thing I know we're up at her place doing shots. Still didn't think anything was going to happen and so we start watching Netflix. Netflix turned into cuddling, which turned into making out which turned to her saying "are you going to fuck me or not?".
She's moving back north in 2 months so this isn't something that's going to be long term, but we're suppose to have a round 2 soon, but we'll see if it happens. We were both really drunk.
In other news I've been seeing this girl for about a month now (also met off Tinder). She doesn't have sex unless she's in a relationship and we've slept in the same bed and did some heavy petting and stuff, but her baggage is starting to crop up more bit by bit and idk if this is something I want to be involved with.
Additionally, how does everyone feel about Tinder + ?
http://venturebeat.com/2014/11/06/get-out-your-credit-card-tinder-plus-is-here/
Basically it only adds an "undo" and "passport", which allows you to match in different cities. The same effect you get from a GPS spoofer, but easier since you can save lots of different places.
I personally don't think those 2 features are worth it. However if they add a feature where you can only match with other matches who have +, that might be something...
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
One thing to keep in mind is that the person you are trying to schedule with has the same anxieties you have as well. She might think you have something else going on or not serious because you cancelled at the last minute. It also could be that she just doesn't know when she will be available so doesn't want to commit to anything. As far as her being annoyed, I can relate if she got her hopes up and cleared her schedule, only to have you cancel. Just give her a little time.
I went on a date from POF a couple of weeks ago. The girl seemed really nice on the phone and in messages. When I saw her, she was definitely bigger than in her pics but I was willing to have an open mind. But then she pretty much let me know she wanted to mold me into what she wanted. Wanted to change my glasses, cologne, etc. I just tried to make the most of it, but inside I was thinking, "Girl, you are about 20 pounds bigger than your pics, you have 2 kids, struggling financially, but you are trying to tell me what to do with myself on our first date?". It was obvious that things were not going to work out, we were just too different and she was kind of a rude chick who hid behind, "I'm just saying...". I never texted her again, though she did text me asking when we were going out again. I just ignored her.
I am now on match.com and having much better success with the quality of women and frequency of contacts.
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
I don't do the handshake thing at all. A hug is the way to go. This is an attempt at romance, but sealing a business deal.
Watch Da Birdie
I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
So, dude just said he wanted to say hi because he saw me on OKCupid. Didn't know me or anything. :/
O-okay.
O-okay.
Hey, sometimes romance can be like a business deal... agreements, negotiations, commitment, etc!
Actually, my personal view is that if we viewed romance with the same ethics and morality of a business, there would be less heartache for most people.
Yeah, you're totally right. I guess I just got a bit defensive because I actually like this girl so far haha
I know this isn't the main dating thread, but scored a co-workers number (not like a regular work place, I see my co-workers once every two weeks, and only for an hour). I asked her out, and we will be going out for drinks this coming Thursday.
Yeah, the meet up should be fun. Make sure to hit me up with details. Barely have time to browse Gaf anymore.
I don't use Instagram like that either, but women usually do and that is all that matters lol. Please it is a quick and easy way to share (non-naughty) pictures with them.
Yeah, the meet up should be fun. Make sure to hit me up with details. Barely have time to browse Gaf anymore.
I don't use Instagram like that either, but women usually do and that is all that matters lol. Please it is a quick and easy way to share (non-naughty) pictures with them.
Watch Da Birdie
I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
@Watch Da Birdie
I'm a bit confused. You said you were surprised a guy messaged you on OKC, but you also said you blew a guy at a party. I am assuming you are either gay or bisexual, hence why the guy messaged you??? Need details, lol.
I just got drunk one time and experimented.
No one on OKCupid would know that though, I put interested in girls.
Watch Da Birdie
I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
This girl messaged me asking what my favorite stuff to watch on Netflix is...one of the hobbies I mentioned. She seems interesting, but...
Please don't think I'm super shallow, but her only picture is sort of a weird angle just showing her face, and she's cute, but then her summary mentions "full figured", and so, well, I'm a bit interested to see how she looks overall. I'm not one those guys just interested in super skinny girls or anything, but I'm really skinny myself, and I'd feel a bit weird dating a really big girl, because then I think people would think I'm like one of those skinny dudes with a fat fetish.
Is there ever a polite situation where, pre-meeting someone irl, you could ask them for a full body pic?
Please don't think I'm super shallow, but her only picture is sort of a weird angle just showing her face, and she's cute, but then her summary mentions "full figured", and so, well, I'm a bit interested to see how she looks overall. I'm not one those guys just interested in super skinny girls or anything, but I'm really skinny myself, and I'd feel a bit weird dating a really big girl, because then I think people would think I'm like one of those skinny dudes with a fat fetish.
Is there ever a polite situation where, pre-meeting someone irl, you could ask them for a full body pic?
Honestly I don't think there's any way to explicitly ask, but you could always ask for a Facebook or Instagram and take a look.
Do a Google Image Search on her photos.
stn
Member
Its one thing to care what others think of you, okay, but I honestly think this is giving too much of a shit of what others think. Way too much.
stn
Member
If I did feel uncomfortable about dating a bigger girl it would be just because. In his case he made it seem like he might like bigger girls but doesn't want to because of what others may think. When, really, what others may think is always irrelevant. At least that's how I understood it, I could be totally off base.
Psychoward
Banned
Well, not sure how to feel right now. Met someone from Tinder who lives about an 1hr10mins away a bit more than halfway (50 mins) at the movies. Had an excellent time, she was really easy to text and turns out even easier to talk to. Really down to earth, nice, cute etc. Ended up making out before going our separate ways, she texted me later that I was really cute and we both remarked how the distance sucks. Would it be dumb of me to try and turn this in to a regular weekend thing? I'm leaving for college in less than a year and so far she has easily been the best girl that I've been interested in - now I know I'm sure this phase won't last and all, but I might try and do weekend things with her and see where it goes.
Edit: Also as far as the hug argument goes, I never ever give handshakes but for some reason I didn't hug her when I met. Just kind of awkwardly said hi and then walked to go buy tickets. At the end I just hugged her, but it was for a decent while and once I got out of it I realized we were both still looking at each other and I went in for the kiss. Turned out to be a good idea, lol. She didn't seem to mind that we were in a parking lot of all places.
Edit: Also as far as the hug argument goes, I never ever give handshakes but for some reason I didn't hug her when I met. Just kind of awkwardly said hi and then walked to go buy tickets. At the end I just hugged her, but it was for a decent while and once I got out of it I realized we were both still looking at each other and I went in for the kiss. Turned out to be a good idea, lol. She didn't seem to mind that we were in a parking lot of all places.
Awe! I hope I get a kiss, even if its in a parking lot *blushu* and then we can lean against my truck and squish our bodies close and I will hold his neck and look in his eyes with a reserved lust and.... Sorry. Got a little fanfic there.
Man I really hope I don't goof up a kiss when the time is right. When I was Muslim I was actually serious about the "no touching before marriage" thing, all the way up to about junior year of high school two years ago. I was never able to make a move on the girls I liked and actually had to turn down a girl I had a huuuuge crush on (this was really upsetting at the time, lol). Only relationship I've had since then was a year long LDR.
So... I've never actually kissed a girl. At this point in my life I feel like that's gonna bite me at some point lol.
So... I've never actually kissed a girl. At this point in my life I feel like that's gonna bite me at some point lol.
Psychoward
Banned
Don't worry, it's sorta awkward but that's half the fun.