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ParentGaf OT: Birth, Bib and Beyond
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RustyNails
Member
Gaf I need some advice/guidance from parents of boys. Preferably crazy hyper-active boys. My son is 19 months old and he is impossibly difficult to manage. I have two "big" issues with him:
1) He can be aggressive and angry. But before I say anything I want to preface by saying that he can also be the most loving baby in the world. He will walk up to you and ask for a hug and kiss you on the mouth. He is very friendly with strangers. But he has trouble containing his anger. When he gets frustrated he bangs his head on the floor (sometimes repeatedly) and cry. If I'm the source of anger he will scratch my face or bite me and pull my wife's hair (if she is the source of anger). For example the other day I gave him a bath and pulled him out after 20 minutes. He wanted to play more, so he had a little tantrum and scratched my mouth. We do the usual "calm but firm" disciplining but it has no effect. I try to hold and squeeze him and calm him down. He usually calms down and forgets what he was angry about but its very stressing. Again, he is not angry all the time. He is usually playful, calm and nice. But if we take something away from him he goes into this fit. And its not going away.
But as I said he has a loving nature too. He has teddy bears and a big vermont bear whom he loves. He gives them big fat sloppy kisses every day. He adores animals: cats and dogs in particular. We want to nurture his loving side more and "manage" his anger issues.
2) He likes to explore. Like literally the entire planet. He wants to walk, walk, walk and keep walking everywhere. He becomes an unmanageable nightmare in malls as he wants to explore every single route/walkway. Trying to chase him and picking him up constantly will do a number on you. But he will push you out and start walking again. We try to expend all his energy in play area for an hour, but he still wants to keep walking everywhere. Nothing ever in our experience tires his legs. At restaurants we are a stress-mess and afraid when he will start crying to get off the booster seat and start walking the entire restaurant area. We try to keep him distracted with spoons, toys, ipad, youtube and his milk until our food arrives and we wolf it down like starving maniacs and gtfo as quickly as we can praying to God he wont go crazy before we do.
When he was younger I was always so scared in malls because he liked to walk and he didnt feel scared towards strangers. One time he literally walked up to a guy in a play area who was there with his own kids and stretched his hands to pick him up. He doesnt do that anymore but it was pretty crazy. Recently we found a big soccer field thats usually empty. We bring him there and he just loves it. We also bring a big yellow ball there and kick it around so he can chase it. It's perfect for us: no anxiety from strangers in malls, no worrying about objects/escalators/crowds, and very easy to follow.
So Gaf I have created a monster. And I'm looking for input from folks who also created their monsters, and how they tamed them. Thanks.
1) He can be aggressive and angry. But before I say anything I want to preface by saying that he can also be the most loving baby in the world. He will walk up to you and ask for a hug and kiss you on the mouth. He is very friendly with strangers. But he has trouble containing his anger. When he gets frustrated he bangs his head on the floor (sometimes repeatedly) and cry. If I'm the source of anger he will scratch my face or bite me and pull my wife's hair (if she is the source of anger). For example the other day I gave him a bath and pulled him out after 20 minutes. He wanted to play more, so he had a little tantrum and scratched my mouth. We do the usual "calm but firm" disciplining but it has no effect. I try to hold and squeeze him and calm him down. He usually calms down and forgets what he was angry about but its very stressing. Again, he is not angry all the time. He is usually playful, calm and nice. But if we take something away from him he goes into this fit. And its not going away.
But as I said he has a loving nature too. He has teddy bears and a big vermont bear whom he loves. He gives them big fat sloppy kisses every day. He adores animals: cats and dogs in particular. We want to nurture his loving side more and "manage" his anger issues.
2) He likes to explore. Like literally the entire planet. He wants to walk, walk, walk and keep walking everywhere. He becomes an unmanageable nightmare in malls as he wants to explore every single route/walkway. Trying to chase him and picking him up constantly will do a number on you. But he will push you out and start walking again. We try to expend all his energy in play area for an hour, but he still wants to keep walking everywhere. Nothing ever in our experience tires his legs. At restaurants we are a stress-mess and afraid when he will start crying to get off the booster seat and start walking the entire restaurant area. We try to keep him distracted with spoons, toys, ipad, youtube and his milk until our food arrives and we wolf it down like starving maniacs and gtfo as quickly as we can praying to God he wont go crazy before we do.
When he was younger I was always so scared in malls because he liked to walk and he didnt feel scared towards strangers. One time he literally walked up to a guy in a play area who was there with his own kids and stretched his hands to pick him up. He doesnt do that anymore but it was pretty crazy. Recently we found a big soccer field thats usually empty. We bring him there and he just loves it. We also bring a big yellow ball there and kick it around so he can chase it. It's perfect for us: no anxiety from strangers in malls, no worrying about objects/escalators/crowds, and very easy to follow.
So Gaf I have created a monster. And I'm looking for input from folks who also created their monsters, and how they tamed them. Thanks.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Since this thread hasn't been updated in a bit I can only assume everyone is just hanging in there and trying to survive.
Mine is revisiting the 'Witching Hour' during her 7th/8th week Wonder Week. I don't think my ears have stopped ringing for days. On the plus, she's now started interacting with hanging toys and seems content to punch them for a bit on her own instead of cold-clocking herself in the face like she usually does. #Winning?
How's everyone else doing?
Mine is revisiting the 'Witching Hour' during her 7th/8th week Wonder Week. I don't think my ears have stopped ringing for days. On the plus, she's now started interacting with hanging toys and seems content to punch them for a bit on her own instead of cold-clocking herself in the face like she usually does. #Winning?
How's everyone else doing?
I'm having way too much fun face swapping with my daughters. My youngest (7 months old) is still not sleeping as much as I would like though. Haven't had an 8 hours night since she's been born. I guess that's why the other day I dreamed about sleeping lol.
Halcyon
Member
My little nugget of joy has been having fussy crying time every night from around 7-9 so we've been taking alot of evening drives which seems to calm her down.
Otherwise she sleeps most of the night and is a explosion of joy and happiness during th eday. I'm serious, it makes me so happy being a dad.
Here are a few pictures that I thought were pretty funny.
Otherwise she sleeps most of the night and is a explosion of joy and happiness during th eday. I'm serious, it makes me so happy being a dad.
Here are a few pictures that I thought were pretty funny.
MMBosstones86
Member
We're at 14 months with ours and finally got sleep locked down about a month ago and it is indeed glorious. We put her down between 730-8 and most nights don't hear anything until she gets up at 630-7 which I am more than happy with.
It was a lonnnnng process and required us to basically banish my wife from going in and night and me spending stretches on the floor while our daughter put herself back to sleep.
Best suggestion I can offer is to find an ideal state and work towards it slowly. Sleep training is a real sonofabitch.
It was a lonnnnng process and required us to basically banish my wife from going in and night and me spending stretches on the floor while our daughter put herself back to sleep.
Best suggestion I can offer is to find an ideal state and work towards it slowly. Sleep training is a real sonofabitch.
Interfectum
Member
Got 18 week scan, everything checks out. It's a boy.
RoryDropkick
Member
Since this thread hasn't been updated in a bit I can only assume everyone is just hanging in there and trying to survive.
Mine is revisiting the 'Witching Hour' during her 7th/8th week Wonder Week. I don't think my ears have stopped ringing for days. On the plus, she's now started interacting with hanging toys and seems content to punch them for a bit on her own instead of cold-clocking herself in the face like she usually does. #Winning?
How's everyone else doing?
It's been stressful. Wife and I have been fighting a lot since I've been going to school and doing terrible, and she's been left with the kids a lot while I go to work. I try to help when I'm there but it feels like its not enough. We are trying to work through this however even though she blows up at me constantly. I don't blame her, she's the one that has to be there with crying twins all day while I am away at work.
Septimus Prime
Member
My son is one month old now, and he's now in the 25th percentile in weight and 50th in length and head circumference, so I'm pretty happy about that. My wife is trying to decrease the amount of formula supplementation, so we're actually seeing a lactation consultant right now.
On the bad news side, I asked my boss about parental leave, and he is just not responding, so I'm assuming that's a no.
On the bad news side, I asked my boss about parental leave, and he is just not responding, so I'm assuming that's a no.
MMBosstones86
Member
Agreed, we tried 'crying it out' and it just never would work. She'd get hysterical and throw herself around the crib, so we stopped that.
Our method when she got up in the night was for me to go in and put her back into 'sleep position' (on her stomach) and lay down on the floor next to the crib. Sometimes she'd bounce back up and I'd repeat putting her down. She fought it at first and would cry for a while....but would continue laying down.
It's not easy, first couple times took around 45 minutes before she'd fall back asleep. It did get easier as the days went on and she was able to put herself back to sleep without one of us in the room.
We tried doing the same w/ my wife instead of me and our daughter was having none of it, so eventually I took over and we were able to see the progression.
tl:dr - "crying it out' didn't work when we left her in isolation. We avoided picking her up at night and would lay on the floor until she went back to sleep.
Skellig Gra
Member
Pete just hit the 2 month old mark. He's grown a ton but still relatively lean. Almost 12 pounds but 24.5 inches long. He just got his first round of vaccines this morning so he is pretty miserable right now. Otherwise he has been pretty good. Sleeping 3-4 hour stretches.
matt360
Member
I'm certainly no expert, but your kid sounds perfectly normal to me. I think most kids have difficulty containing or expressing their anger. Just keep doing what you're doing and I think he'll catch on.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
I haven't had 8 hours since I got pregnant.
I don't seem to do too badly as long as I get an unbroken 2 hour stretch once a night, though. I can't even imagine 8 hours anymore...Man, I wish I could buy you two a beer or something. You're both doing amazing in the face of all the challenges you've had. Seriously.
If it makes you feel any better, you're in good company on the alone with the kid thing this week. My husband's had two business trips since Mia was born, each a week + to Berlin and now Japan, and both have fallen right on the bloody 'Wonder Week' hell weeks. I've been dogging cheetos for lunch if I can squeeze a short nap out of her and today is the first time I've had a chance to wash my hair in over a week. Be sure to post any ridiculous stuff you have to do during your solo stint. It helps keep the sanity.
RustyNails
Member
I hope.
But I don't know what "normal" 19 month old boy is. I have seen my nephews, kids from other parents. Their toddlers are usually sitting in one place drooling or just being close by their parents. My kid is off to adventureland where ever we go and everyone looks at us (during family get togethers) with a pity look. Strange enough he never drools...
JeTmAn81
Member
I don't know much either but I think it may just be his personality. Hard to say if it's actually anything abnormal at that age. My little 19-month-old girl likes to wander too but she can sit still pretty well.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Tiny Destroyer - Chubby version
Well, I remember the reflux issue and I know your wife had trouble healing up after the birth. And then there's months of no sleep. That's torture even for just a week or two.
At any rate, he's looking pretty great, though. Bright-eyed and happy. Bet he'll be into the local wildlife next. Apparently my husband ate caterpillars as a kid. They'd find furry bits all over his mouth.
Welcome, and good luck. Be sure to let us know how it goes. A few more months and I'll be in your shoes.
Well, I remember the reflux issue and I know your wife had trouble healing up after the birth. And then there's months of no sleep. That's torture even for just a week or two.
At any rate, he's looking pretty great, though. Bright-eyed and happy. Bet he'll be into the local wildlife next. Apparently my husband ate caterpillars as a kid. They'd find furry bits all over his mouth.
Welcome, and good luck. Be sure to let us know how it goes. A few more months and I'll be in your shoes.
greyshark
Member
We had a lot of issues getting him to sleep more than a couple hours at a time - daycare really screwed up his routine (got sick pretty much constantly the first month). We finally hit a breakthrough about a month ago by creating a more regimented schedule for him (eating/napping at basically the same time every day). He finally started consistently sleeping at least 5-6 hours at a time at night, was a huge relief to my wife and I. We're hoping if we can get him to self soothe he'll get up to 8-10 hours on his own.
piratepwnsninja
Member
Hi ParentGAF!
So my wife and I are kind of pressing the reboot button in a way. We're both 36 and have a 14 year old boy and 9 year old girl and now a new one on the way in August. It's a pretty large gap between our daughter and soon to be new son, but it's something we planned and wanted to do. We're super excited!
I totally got excited seeing all the new kinds of baby stuff available now while wandering Toys R Us to pick up a gift for a birthday tomorrow. Monitor tech has come a long way, for instance.
So my wife and I are kind of pressing the reboot button in a way. We're both 36 and have a 14 year old boy and 9 year old girl and now a new one on the way in August. It's a pretty large gap between our daughter and soon to be new son, but it's something we planned and wanted to do. We're super excited!
I totally got excited seeing all the new kinds of baby stuff available now while wandering Toys R Us to pick up a gift for a birthday tomorrow. Monitor tech has come a long way, for instance.
Skellig Gra
Member
Happy Sunday parent GAF hope it's going better for you than my little Cookie Monster lol
| Praxis |
Banned
My son is six months now, but three months really due to being born three months early. He's doing great and he's the best thing in the world.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Bit of a choppy night, but had a solid day out today with not 1 but 3(!) successful naps that let me actually sit down to eat and have a beer followed by a no-tears bath AND she went down like clockwork for bedtime. Maybe tonight'll be total crap, but I feel almost normal today. Anyone else enjoy some small victories lately? I also got to take a 15 minute shower. Take that!
I can hardly imagine 5-6 hours much less 8-10. I have heard that routine is the way to go. Wishing you luck for that extra 3-4 goal~
Wow, and congrats! That is a heckuva thing to reembark on. Not nervous to face the Witching Hour again?
That's great to hear, Prax. He looks great, and happy everything's going well. He has a very cute 'whoa' face.
I can hardly imagine 5-6 hours much less 8-10. I have heard that routine is the way to go. Wishing you luck for that extra 3-4 goal~
Wow, and congrats! That is a heckuva thing to reembark on. Not nervous to face the Witching Hour again?
That's great to hear, Prax. He looks great, and happy everything's going well. He has a very cute 'whoa' face.
Nick started sleeping 5-6 hours about a week ago which would be week 11. I'd swaddle him and play pink noise at 9:00-9:30. He got his bottle and then when he was starting to drift I'd put him in his bouncer. He slept until about 4:00 AM which was nice, though the first night I woke every hour in a panic that something must be wrong.
The past 3 nights though he's back to only sleeping about 3 hours for his initial sleep. I hope I can get back to the 5-6 and it wasn't a fluke/tease. It was nice to catch up on sleep a bit but also made it harder to go back to lack of sleep in a way.
greyshark
Member
We had a similar experience in Week 10 - then came the 4 month sleep regression
. It was so nice while it lasted!MMBosstones86
Member
Mine (15 months now) started something similar. She kind of goes in phases where she'll eat something for lunch one day and the next day want nothing to do with it. We usually just try and package what we can and try later. She also sometimes is just being a lazy baby and wants us to use a spoon instead of her picking it up. I don't think it's too uncommon, but you'll just have to work around the kid.
Not that I'm an expert or anything hah.
Icefire1424
Member
Ohhhh, big time. Our daughter is 25 months now, and yea, since she started eating solid foods she goes through periods of being REALLY picky, and periods of eating voraciously. Even some foods we know she loves she would push aside one day, and go to town on it another.
What I've heard is that their tastes are still developing, and it may take introducing a food several times before they take to it, and even then, it's not uncommon for them to have moments where they just don't want it. Keep introducing new foods, and a variety of foods. It's interesting sometimes to see what they like.
| Praxis |
Banned
The Lamonster
Member
Just a reminder to keep your child rear-facing in the middle seat for at least two years, but the longer the better.
Just read a news story of a 17-month old dying in a mild car accident when the driver's seat jerked back and knocked her in the head.
Just read a news story of a 17-month old dying in a mild car accident when the driver's seat jerked back and knocked her in the head.
ProfessorMoran
Member
Got a 10 month old, he's been having diarrhea for the last couple of days, the constant diaper change and butt rash is wearing us out.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
I feel ya, though I've gone from a 3 hr first leg to 1/1.5 hr stretches...
Sweet, sweet week 11, c'mon, before I launch her into the effin' sun.
Icefire1424
Member
Got a 10 month old, he's been having diarrhea for the last couple of days, the constant diaper change and butt rash is wearing us out.
If it's been a couple days now, might be time to see the doc. My sister in law just went through something similar with their son, and it turns out he had a virus that was causing it.
Keep little one hydrated, Pedialyte helped when our munchkin had the runs.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
wild wild rice
Member
My first little one is due 07/31! My wife is doing really well and the doctors say her and the baby are coming along exactly as they should be. I'm just deeply and incredibly grateful about it all. A friend of ours who was only about a month behind us just lost hers.
Subscribed. I'll be joining you in all the joy and struggle of raising a child. In the meantime, thanks to everyone for sharing their difficulties and strategies.
Subscribed. I'll be joining you in all the joy and struggle of raising a child. In the meantime, thanks to everyone for sharing their difficulties and strategies.
It's not constant but I get some pretty good nights. While two nights ago he was up every hour or two, last night he slept from 9:40 to 3:00. On Sunday morning I gave him another bottle at about 6:30 and he slept in until 9:30. My wife kept making me check he was still breathing.I feel ya, though I've gone from a 3 hr first leg to 1/1.5 hr stretches...
Sweet, sweet week 11, c'mon, before I launch her into the effin' sun.
How old is your little one now?
He's gotta start sleeping eventually, right? I remember telling myself that often with my first born.
I took a short video of Nick the other day if anyone wants to see.
https://goo.gl/photos/btfu4JZCmCJgePTy6
Not sure if the link will work.
We tried turning our son around for the first time a few weeks ago (he's 3 years and a few months), and while he loved looking out the windshield, he would not stop kicking the center console. I couldn't abide, so turned him right back around and he's back to being on his best behavior.
Skellig Gra
Member
My first little one is due 07/31! My wife is doing really well and the doctors say her and the baby are coming along exactly as they should be. I'm just deeply and incredibly grateful about it all. A friend of ours who was only about a month behind us just lost hers.
Subscribed. I'll be joining you in all the joy and struggle of raising a child. In the meantime, thanks to everyone for sharing their difficulties and strategies.
Congrats! We'll be here for you in August.
Septimus Prime
Member
Congratulations!My first little one is due 07/31! My wife is doing really well and the doctors say her and the baby are coming along exactly as they should be. I'm just deeply and incredibly grateful about it all. A friend of ours who was only about a month behind us just lost hers.
Subscribed. I'll be joining you in all the joy and struggle of raising a child. In the meantime, thanks to everyone for sharing their difficulties and strategies.
I suggest getting everything ready for the hospital sooner, rather than later. My son came out almost a month early--the day after our baby shower--and we weren't prepared at all.