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[NewFresh]

Got a 10 month old, he's been having diarrhea for the last couple of days, the constant diaper change and butt rash is wearing us out.

I'm in the exact same boat with my 10 month old! And it's a terrible one to be on. Luckily no diaper rash yet, but the amount of laundry we'e been doing is unreal...

And now that she's walking it just exacerbates the amount of clothes that are collateral damage to the blow-outs.

 

[Milksheikhs]

My dream newborn went from sleeping consistently for like 10 hrs a night and only waking up for feeding to waking up all the time now ( 4 month old).

Also, she scratches her face until it gets bloody. I've tried moisturizing (helps a tiny bit). I put those mittens on her hands and she just rips them off. I put a bandage and she rips that off, too. I've trimmed her nails as much as I can. I dunno what else to do tbh.

 

[zbarron]

My dream newborn went from sleeping consistently for like 10 hrs a night and only waking up for feeding to waking up all the time now ( 4 month old).

Also, she scratches her face until it gets bloody. I've tried moisturizing (helps a tiny bit). I put those mittens on her hands and she just rips them off. I put a bandage and she rips that off, too. I've trimmed her nails as much as I can. I dunno what else to do tbh.

Do you swaddle or is 4 months too old for that?

 

[H.Protagonist]

My first little one is due 07/31! My wife is doing really well and the doctors say her and the baby are coming along exactly as they should be. I'm just deeply and incredibly grateful about it all. A friend of ours who was only about a month behind us just lost hers.

Subscribed. I'll be joining you in all the joy and struggle of raising a child. In the meantime, thanks to everyone for sharing their difficulties and strategies.

Congrats and welcome! Many of us are just past the 2 month mark, so we look forward to your struggles joy. The more darkly comedic child moments, the better.

It's not constant but I get some pretty good nights. While two nights ago he was up every hour or two, last night he slept from 9:40 to 3:00. On Sunday morning I gave him another bottle at about 6:30 and he slept in until 9:30. My wife kept making me check he was still breathing.

How old is your little one now?


He's gotta start sleeping eventually, right? I remember telling myself that often with my first born.

I took a short video of Nick the other day if anyone wants to see.
https://goo.gl/photos/btfu4JZCmCJgePTy6
Not sure if the link will work.

Good to hear things (generally) get better as you get on. Mia is almost 10 weeks now. She actually had a decent night last night (slept in 3 hour blocks) and had a solid 1 hr 38 min nap today after an earlier 50 minute cat nap, but as you say, it swings back and forth. Hopefully we'll hit some of those glorious-sounding 6hr stretches soon.

My dream newborn went from sleeping consistently for like 10 hrs a night and only waking up for feeding to waking up all the time now ( 4 month old).

Also, she scratches her face until it gets bloody. I've tried moisturizing (helps a tiny bit). I put those mittens on her hands and she just rips them off. I put a bandage and she rips that off, too. I've trimmed her nails as much as I can. I dunno what else to do tbh.

When I'm done building the catapult to launch my child into the sun during the next cluster feed I'd be happy to loan it out.

For the nails, have you tried using a nail file to soften the edges? Less scratching that way.

 

[The Lamonster]

My 15 month-old has stopped taking afternoon naps. Now it's just the one 2hr nap in the morning. Sucks for us on the weekends, but very much worth it as she now sleeps through the night (~7pm-6am) without any major interruptions!

 

[Icefire1424]

My 15 month-old has stopped taking afternoon naps. Now it's just the one 2hr nap in the morning. Sucks for us on the weekends, but very much worth it as she now sleeps through the night (~7pm-6am) without any major interruptions!

I'm pretty sure it was right around the same time for us that the 2nd nap disappeared. At 25 months now, and she's down to one nap a day, usually after lunch time for an hour to 90 minutes. Occasionally she'll sleep up to 3 hours, but those are rare.

Very, very, very glad to say that she is more or less sleeping though the night now. Every few nights she'll wake up once a night wanting some milk, but that's becoming more rare.

 

[zbarron]

Not trying to be a braggart, but Nick slept his best night ever last night. He went down about 9:40 and woke up at 5:00.

When I saw the clock on my way to him I was confused and actually a little sad. I thought "Why am I still tired if he slept so late?" and then I remembered that getting up at 5:00AM is early to normal people.

I know one of the reasons he's sleeping well is his chubbiness. From reading this it seems once they hit 11 pounds they are supposed to sleep better and he's probably at about 15. He's getting too big for size two diapers.

Now if I can just teach my 5 year old what an indoor voice is he might nap well during the day.

 

[Red]

.

 

[Milksheikhs]

Do you swaddle or is 4 months too old for that?

Haha I wish
She used to use it, but broke out of it pretty early. She throws a fit anytime we try restrain her or keep her from scratching.

When I'm done building the catapult to launch my child into the sun during the next cluster feed I'd be happy to loan it out.

For the nails, have you tried using a nail file to soften the edges? Less scratching that way.

Well thank you

I've tried to, but I'm gonna buy a new nail file today (maybe ours just sucks ?)

 

[Omikron]

What about a sleep sack type thing. We use it with our twins and they really like it. Now they are older, we have taken the little arm covers off and they can do their thing without feeling too restricted. I'll link later to an example, on mobile atm!


In other news. Twin toddlers are busy but a lot of fun.

 

[H.Protagonist]

Not trying to be a braggart, but Nick slept his best night ever last night. He went down about 9:40 and woke up at 5:00.

When I saw the clock on my way to him I was confused and actually a little sad. I thought "Why am I still tired if he slept so late?" and then I remembered that getting up at 5:00AM is early to normal people.

I know one of the reasons he's sleeping well is his chubbiness. From reading this it seems once they hit 11 pounds they are supposed to sleep better and he's probably at about 15. He's getting too big for size two diapers.

Now if I can just teach my 5 year old what an indoor voice is he might nap well during the day.

Well, mine has been down for two almost back to back naps for *drum roll* 2 hrs and 10 mins! Ha-HA!

Spoiler

...I'm still jealous of your super long night sleep.

Logan has never been chubby. He's a skinny kid. 90th percentile for height and 5th for weight. And yet he's always hungry. Last night he woke to eat 11 times between 7:30 and 5.

You want the catapult first?

Haha I wish
She used to use it, but broke out of it pretty early. She throws a fit anytime we try restrain her or keep her from scratching.

Well thank you

I've tried to, but I'm gonna buy a new nail file today (maybe ours just sucks ?)

Any time, and bummer on the nail file thing. Baby nails are the devil. They just grow so freaking fast.

What about a sleep sack type thing. We use it with our twins and they really like it. Now they are older, we have taken the little arm covers off and they can do their thing without feeling too restricted. I'll link later to an example, on mobile atm!


In other news. Twin toddlers are busy but a lot of fun.

See, that would work except mine likes to punch herself in the face any time her arms are free.

 

[Vincent Grayson]

Before going to bed tonight, my oldest gives the typical goodnight hugs and then while walking away she follows it with "May the fourth be with you".

She also finally won the battle to not have to do dishes anymore, because my wife hates how she does them.

 

[JoeNut]

Hello, we are currently trying to conceive, first test came back negative and i must say i was really disappointed, but not overly surprised as it hasn't been long.

Now we've made the decision i just really want it to happen, i took a long time to agree it was time to have a baby, and now i'm desperate for it to happen!! now i wish we'd tried a couple months ago.

 

[Browny]

I like this thread. It's nice to read all the different stages people are at.

Things I have learnt about having two children (3 years, 5 months):

• Showering is optional.
• Eating what could be considered a proper dinner is optional. Toast qualifies as dinner. Egg on toast is a good dinner. Stir fry is gooooood.
• You can unload the washing machine and hang out washing whilst carrying a sleeping baby. But you need to remember, it's better to drop the clothes and have to re-wash, than...
• Wind is still a pain (no pun intended).
• Patience is a virtue. A BIG FUCKING VIRTUE.
• Getting the eldest to help with mundane household chores is amazing. Our eldest puts my shoes away when I get back from work, helps to sort the washing from the radiators and put them away, helps put the washing machine on, tries to vacuum and so on. She even likes to sit and watch me cut the lawns (and throw away the cuttings too).
• It's better to stay up an extra half hour or so, to complete household things, than to get up earlier and do them in the morning.
• Slow cookers are amazing. Despite it coming into the warm season here (the one week of the UK "summer"), I'll continue to use it whenever possible, especially on days when my other half has both kids at home.
• Showering is still optional. Baths can be had at around 10pm.
• 7.30am is a lie-in. 8.30am is a miracle.
• Kids are often happy eating the same basic meals. Which is good, but...
• It can still be a chore to introduce new "staple" meals.
• I wish I'd bought a handheld gaming system.
• When you come to play your first game in 6 months, make it one where you don't have to grind it out. Dragon Age Inquisition feels very unrewarding at the moment.
• Phrasing your questions to fix the answers can give great results. The word "or" is very useful.
• To guarantee a shower, get up an hour earlier than is sane.

 

[Icefire1424]

I like this thread. It's nice to read all the different stages people are at.

Things I have learnt about having two children (3 years, 5 months):

• Epic list of truth.

This single post may have finally convinced me that we will be a "one and done" family.

• When you come to play your first game in 6 months, make it one where you don't have to grind it out. Dragon Age Inquisition feels very unrewarding at the moment.

Wait a tic. That was one of the first games I played through when our kiddo was about a year old. Stick with it, I think it's actually an excellent game with limited time. Takes a little bit to get into, but once the war table becomes available, many of those quests can be knocked out fairly quickly, and are rather satisfying. Leave the main missions for the (rare) moments you actually have some time available.

When time was rather limited, I found I would jump into the game for even a few minutes to upgrade some weapons or armor, talk to my companions, or just go explore an area. More than a few nights I would jump in the game long enough just to walk a bit to unlock a settlement camp in a new zone.

 

[MMBosstones86]

I like this thread. It's nice to read all the different stages people are at.

Things I have learnt about having two children (3 years, 5 months):

• Getting the eldest to help with mundane household chores is amazing. Our eldest puts my shoes away when I get back from work, helps to sort the washing from the radiators and put them away, helps put the washing machine on, tries to vacuum and so on. She even likes to sit and watch me cut the lawns (and throw away the cuttings too).
  

This is literally my dream. I can't wait.

 

[phisheep]

I like this thread. It's nice to read all the different stages people are at.

Things I have learnt about having two children (3 years, 5 months):

• Getting the eldest to help with mundane household chores is amazing. Our eldest puts my shoes away when I get back from work, helps to sort the washing from the radiators and put them away, helps put the washing machine on, tries to vacuum and so on. She even likes to sit and watch me cut the lawns (and throw away the cuttings too).
  

Yes, this!

Every chore becomes a real pleasure when assisted (or even otherwise) by a chatty busy little toddler.

 

[Browny]

This single post may have finally convinced me that we will be a "one and done" family.




Wait a tic. That was one of the first games I played through when our kiddo was about a year old. Stick with it, I think it's actually an excellent game with limited time. Takes a little bit to get into, but once the war table becomes available, many of those quests can be knocked out fairly quickly, and are rather satisfying. Leave the main missions for the (rare) moments you actually have some time available.

When time was rather limited, I found I would jump into the game for even a few minutes to upgrade some weapons or armor, talk to my companions, or just go explore an area. More than a few nights I would jump in the game long enough just to walk a bit to unlock a settlement camp in a new zone.

Having two is... different. Yes there are two, and it's definitely a reminder of the "fun" the first time round. But you do get to relive all the "ooh look" moments. Our youngest is currently very smiley which is lovely to see.

Also, you don't even sweat the small stuff second time around? Fever? Teething? Walk in the park. (I may come to regret this statement. A lot.)

Good to hear that DAI gets better... I always want to do side quests, so perhaps I should pull my finger out and be more productive as regards the main quests...

 

[Septimus Prime]

When you come to play your first game in 6 months, make it one where you don't have to grind it out. Dragon Age Inquisition feels very unrewarding at the moment.

There's always the ol' walking away from SFV and losing that I do sometimes.

 

[Steeped in a Sea of Games]

Having two is... different. Yes there are two, and it's definitely a reminder of the "fun" the first time round. But you do get to relive all the "ooh look" moments. Our youngest is currently very smiley which is lovely to see.

Also, you don't even sweat the small stuff second time around? Fever? Teething? Walk in the park. (I may come to regret this statement. A lot.)

Good to hear that DAI gets better... I always want to do side quests, so perhaps I should pull my finger out and be more productive as regards the main quests...

The trouble didn't really start with my second one until she was able to crawl and worse when she learned to walk. Suddenly she's all up in what my son recognizes as 'his' toys and then the pushing and screaming began. It's taken a good portion of a year to slowly teach my son how to share (He's only a little more than a year older than his sister, so this is a challenge as he's only 2.5 years old). It's getting a little better, but having two is a much bigger challenge than one alone. One felt like a cakewalk compared to this haha. It's adorable that they sometimes like to snuggle together on the couch or when my son gives my daughter a big hug followed by 'Me loves sister", but there's also plenty of moments of him sitting on her head or her knocking over his blocks that leads to tears, etc.

The worst part is how much they feed off of each other's energy. One screams, the other one does too. One gets crazy excited, they both do. One acts defiant, the other one does too. It's nuts how easily they can gang up against me. Not to mention that for a long time they napped at different times so I'd literally never get a break. It's exhausting as hell, but I tell myself that it'll all be over one day so I need to appreciate the chaos while I have it and I'm glad that the two of them have each other. My biggest regret is not having more of a support system (it's literally just me and my wife 99.9% of the time, no grandparents or friends with kids within 1000 miles), but there's nothing I can really do about that. I feel like things would be so much easier if I could just send them to grandma's house for an evening once in awhile.

 

[H.Protagonist]

For those with two kids (or more), what do you think is a good gap between them? I loved having just over a year gap between me and my sister, but handling one baby is hard, and two under two seems a nightmare. Bigger gap better...? I'm in a bit of a bind age-wise myself, though.

Hello, we are currently trying to conceive, first test came back negative and i must say i was really disappointed, but not overly surprised as it hasn't been long.

Now we've made the decision i just really want it to happen, i took a long time to agree it was time to have a baby, and now i'm desperate for it to happen!! now i wish we'd tried a couple months ago.

First test after beginning trying or first test after IVF? Despite seeming pretty direct, IVF does tend to take a few rounds to catch (going by the several people I know who've conceived that way), so don't stress over it. Either of the methods, really. Less stress/obsessing over the tests = faster conception.

I like this thread. It's nice to read all the different stages people are at.

Things I have learnt about having two children (3 years, 5 months):

• Showering is optional.
• Eating what could be considered a proper dinner is optional. Toast qualifies as dinner. Egg on toast is a good dinner. Stir fry is gooooood.
• You can unload the washing machine and hang out washing whilst carrying a sleeping baby. But you need to remember, it's better to drop the clothes and have to re-wash, than...
• Wind is still a pain (no pun intended).
• Patience is a virtue. A BIG FUCKING VIRTUE.
• Getting the eldest to help with mundane household chores is amazing. Our eldest puts my shoes away when I get back from work, helps to sort the washing from the radiators and put them away, helps put the washing machine on, tries to vacuum and so on. She even likes to sit and watch me cut the lawns (and throw away the cuttings too).
• It's better to stay up an extra half hour or so, to complete household things, than to get up earlier and do them in the morning.
• Slow cookers are amazing. Despite it coming into the warm season here (the one week of the UK "summer"), I'll continue to use it whenever possible, especially on days when my other half has both kids at home.
• Showering is still optional. Baths can be had at around 10pm.
• 7.30am is a lie-in. 8.30am is a miracle.
• Kids are often happy eating the same basic meals. Which is good, but...
• It can still be a chore to introduce new "staple" meals.
• I wish I'd bought a handheld gaming system.
• When you come to play your first game in 6 months, make it one where you don't have to grind it out. Dragon Age Inquisition feels very unrewarding at the moment.
• Phrasing your questions to fix the answers can give great results. The word "or" is very useful.
• To guarantee a shower, get up an hour earlier than is sane.

Haha. Nice. Happy to say I still manage a daily shower, but sometimes it's that crazy twilight hour you mentioned. Feels soooo good, though. I'm with you on the 'proper' eating thing. I had Cheetos and Guinness the other day, which (funny enough) was my pre-pregnancy diet! Felt very nostalgic.

I'm thinking of getting a 3DS for the night feeds. A bit of Rune Factory or Harvest Moon farming is about the brain power level on display at 4AM.

 

[BudokaiMR2]

We had a pretty nice family outing yesterday. The local baseball stadium was turned into a huge pet event for the holiday (it's Golden Week here) and we took Hayato there so he could have a chance to interact with some more animals.

It was pretty good fun. Lots of people bringing their pets along with them so even getting to the event was a chore thanks to Hayato stopping every 2 steps to point out a dog.

There were stage events, mostly with dogs performing tricks or racing through a little obstacle course.

The best part was the little petting zoo that we lined up for. Got to sit down and feed a rabbit and a baby chick which he got a kick out of.

Here is a pic we took together!

And here is an adorable vine of Hayato petting a baby chick.

 

[RoryDropkick]

With school being over it's been a lot less stress. We gave the kids to my inlaws over the weekend and we were able to do some real cleaning to the house. It's starting to look like it did before pregnancy was in the picture. It's feeling somewhat normal again. The kiddos are laughing and smiling a lot more and the house is feeling bigger. The wife and I are starting to work out communication with each other a bit more as well, so things are looking up. I'm very hopeful.

 

[Steeped in a Sea of Games]

For those with two kids (or more), what do you think is a good gap between them? I loved having just over a year gap between me and my sister, but handling one baby is hard, and two under two seems a nightmare. Bigger gap better...? I'm in a bit of a bind age-wise myself, though.

Well, my kids are so close together (1 year 3 mo difference) for a few reasons.

#1 It took us about 5 years to conceive my first (3 years of no luck, 1 miscarriage), which was much longer than we expected. There were times when we thought it wasn't going to happen, but in the end, Clomid shots seemed to do the trick. Because of the trouble we had, we decided not to wait around for our second (I was pushing 31, my wife 33 and really didn't want to wait around anymore). We ended up pregnant on our first try without outside assistance. Go figure.

#2 I come from a family of 4 and my parents meticulously planned us all 4 years apart. Honestly, I don't think it was that great. My parents said to me a few years ago that it's hard because you get out of the mindset of being in 'baby mode' just to be forced back into it, which they found difficult. It's a lot of stress doing two young babies at the same time, but since they go through milestones together, you're never having to switch gears in such crazy ways.

#3 The last problem was, I was never able to be that close to my brothers or sister mostly due to age differences. They'd hit milestones and I just couldn't relate or I was too young to fit in (or too old). The minute one of us would hit middle school, the other hit high school, hit high school, the other graduate, etc. I still get along with my siblings, but honestly, I talk to them once every 6 mo or so now, if that. I just have very little in common. On the flip side, my wife is about a year apart from her brother and they're really quite close. They never fought the same way I did with my siblings (we really fought a ton) and they have a lot in common because they did so much together (both in the same high school band, took similar class trips, shared group of friends). Personally, I'd rather my kids be a little closer relationship wise, especially since it'll just be the two of them. When my parents die, I may never talk to my siblings again, or at least, very sparingly. My wife's brother comes over a few times a year just for vacations and I don't see that stopping really.

 

[The Lamonster]

I like this thread. It's nice to read all the different stages people are at.

Things I have learnt about having two children (3 years, 5 months):

• Showering is optional.
• Eating what could be considered a proper dinner is optional. Toast qualifies as dinner. Egg on toast is a good dinner. Stir fry is gooooood.
• You can unload the washing machine and hang out washing whilst carrying a sleeping baby. But you need to remember, it's better to drop the clothes and have to re-wash, than...
• Wind is still a pain (no pun intended).
• Patience is a virtue. A BIG FUCKING VIRTUE.
• Getting the eldest to help with mundane household chores is amazing. Our eldest puts my shoes away when I get back from work, helps to sort the washing from the radiators and put them away, helps put the washing machine on, tries to vacuum and so on. She even likes to sit and watch me cut the lawns (and throw away the cuttings too).
• It's better to stay up an extra half hour or so, to complete household things, than to get up earlier and do them in the morning.
• Slow cookers are amazing. Despite it coming into the warm season here (the one week of the UK "summer"), I'll continue to use it whenever possible, especially on days when my other half has both kids at home.
• Showering is still optional. Baths can be had at around 10pm.
• 7.30am is a lie-in. 8.30am is a miracle.
• Kids are often happy eating the same basic meals. Which is good, but...
• It can still be a chore to introduce new "staple" meals.
• I wish I'd bought a handheld gaming system.
• When you come to play your first game in 6 months, make it one where you don't have to grind it out. Dragon Age Inquisition feels very unrewarding at the moment.
• Phrasing your questions to fix the answers can give great results. The word "or" is very useful.
• To guarantee a shower, get up an hour earlier than is sane.

It's crazy how different life is with just one more child. I only have one (15 mos) and planning to keep it that way. The first year was definitely rough but we're mostly back to the same lifestyle as we had before children. Add another child to the mix, and...adult life is over, at least for a long time haha

 

[Dynamite Shikoku]

Two more months till second baby is born. Starting to get nervous

 

[Icefire1424]

It's crazy how different life is with just one more child. I only have one (15 mos) and planning to keep it that way. The first year was definitely rough but we're mostly back to the same lifestyle as we had before children. Add another child to the mix, and...adult life is over, at least for a long time haha

Wow, interesting to read that. With our two year old, our lifestyle is nowhere near what it was before kiddo got here. But again, that's also why I'm pretty sure we're only going to have the one.

 

[Red]

.

 

[The Lamonster]

Wow, interesting to read that. With our two year old, our lifestyle is nowhere near what it was before kiddo got here. But again, that's also why I'm pretty sure we're only going to have the one.

She's sleeping through the night, we've got a nice pool of potential babysitters for when we want to go on dates, and we didn't go out much before we had a baby anyway. So now that we've reached a comfortable point with this baby, things are starting to feel normal again. The biggest difference is having to wake up at 6am now :/

 

[Icefire1424]

She's sleeping through the night, we've got a nice pool of potential babysitters for when we want to go on dates, and we didn't go out much before we had a baby anyway. So now that we've reached a comfortable point with this baby, things are starting to feel normal again. The biggest difference is having to wake up at 6am now :/

That's awesome!

Ours is about 50/50 when it comes to sleeping through the nights. She's been getting over a couple colds the last month or so however, but that's more a temporary issue.

Your "date night" comment is our issue though. I've mentioned it before in this thread, but it's become pretty obvious that the relationship between the wife and I is more important to me than it is to her, and it's something we've been working through. The funny thing is, I really don't think she's doing it deliberately, but it doesn't make it any less painful to me. Anyways, discussion for another day, I don't want to derail the current conversation. Glad to hear you're getting back to some normalcy!

 

[DJ_Lae]

Your "date night" comment is our issue though. I've mentioned it before in this thread, but it's become pretty obvious that the relationship between the wife and I is more important to me than it is to her, and it's something we've been working through.

Oh man, I know that feeling. Our third daughter is almost a year old now and things are still insane.

I've forgotten what sex is like at this point.

 

[zbarron]

I know the feeling you both are sharing. We have two kids and are discussing if we want to have a third. The first year was bad with our first born. I honestly wasn't sure if we'd make it many times.

Our second is now 3 months old and while it's no where near as bad as it was the first time, our relationship has definitely taken a hit. Our 5 year marriage anniversary was a week ago and we stayed in and argued about what kind of pizza to order and then argued about what to watch, while tending to a fussy baby. It felt bad.

Currently we're sleeping on opposite floors of the house. She is a very light sleeper and works Monday through Friday 8:30-4:30, and the baby is sleeping decently, so currently I am getting him all night every night and I'll nap weekend mornings. In return she is helping out a ton with the house work, since I am not able to do as much as I used to either due to lack of sleep or just having a fussy baby who wants to cuddle 24/7.

The lack of dates, adult time together, and being in the same bed have definitely taken it's toll, but we're pretty good about talking things through which is nice. I told her my main concern with having another isn't so much the difficulties of having a third child, but more the hit our relationship would take again that first year. She brought up a good point that it's harder going from having older kids and the ability to go on dates and have fun to that first year than it is just sort of continuing it.

I know it's effecting me more, being the stay at home parent who gets a lot less time with other adults. I really am thankful that she is understanding though and that we communicate well. I wouldn't feel nearly as secure if we didn't. It's also easier having gone through this before with the first born. It helps me know it's temporary.

 

[cablenathan]

Our eight month old is a fantastic little person, so much fun to have around...She can also be a fussy little person who knows what she wants, and won't be happy otherwise, but then some babies are like that anyway. If she is strong minded then so be it - it's a great quality to have and quite frankly it's one I'd like to encourage...it's tough when you are trying to get them to sleep and they are determined to fight it every step of the way.

On that note of sleep just so everyone knows, sleep regression is a real thing...and its tough, but not impossible or insurmountable...patience really is a virtue. We have referencing the Wonder Weeks, which is a great book. A casual observation is that there is pretty much a reason for significant disruptions every single week...every week is a Wonder Week! In all fairness the rapid developments cognitive and otherwise (for instance being on the cusp of starting crawling) must wreak absolute havok on them, so yeah I can see why she can be wide awake again just moments after being seemingly fast asleep, but it is hard to deal with in the long run. Our routine this past week is a 5 minute sleep after a solid bed time routine, then wide wide awake for about an hour rolling around the bed, clapping, babbling and feeding on and off, then sleep for an hour or two...rinse and repeat...once again patience is a virtue.

My partner and I finally got out together on our own for dinner for the first time in eight months. We may also have gone bowling and spent time in the arcade like we did as teenagers, but don't judge us - we've primarily been hanging out with an infant these past months so our tastes can seem a little immature - who am I kidding?! We would've done that anyway. Never mind, the point is we thought we would never escape...ever...but we did, and it was glorious. Felt like a mini holiday. So my advice to others is take even a little time for yourself to recharge - and try and spend some time with others to restock your empathy supplies!

 

[MMBosstones86]

Your "date night" comment is our issue though. I've mentioned it before in this thread, but it's become pretty obvious that the relationship between the wife and I is more important to me than it is to her, and it's something we've been working through. The funny thing is, I really don't think she's doing it deliberately, but it doesn't make it any less painful to me. Anyways, discussion for another day, I don't want to derail the current conversation. Glad to hear you're getting back to some normalcy!

Yup. In the same boat here. While it has gotten better, it's still really difficult. The kid basically gets all her attention and that leaves whatever left for our relationship (...which isn't a lot).

I have a feeling it's pretty common, but yeah it doesn't make it any easier. She recently initiated discussions about the next kid and that was a point that I brought up : If this is how it is with one kid, how will our relationship be with another? It's still up for discussion at this point.

 

[RoryDropkick]

Our 5 year anniversary is today and we spent it cleaning the house for Mother's Day guests tomorrow. It's still not 100%, due to the fact that my wife is overwhelmed every time im not there to help with with the kids. I try to do what I can when I'm there but it's rough. Wel left the kids with my inlaws for the night and we should be done by tomorrow morning. This is going to be a rough night, especially since I have to stay up to start a brisket at 3am to be ready by 1:30.. ugggh.

 

[H.Protagonist]

Well, my kids are so close together (1 year 3 mo difference) for a few reasons.

#1 It took us about 5 years to conceive my first (3 years of no luck, 1 miscarriage), which was much longer than we expected. There were times when we thought it wasn't going to happen, but in the end, Clomid shots seemed to do the trick. Because of the trouble we had, we decided not to wait around for our second (I was pushing 31, my wife 33 and really didn't want to wait around anymore). We ended up pregnant on our first try without outside assistance. Go figure.

#2 I come from a family of 4 and my parents meticulously planned us all 4 years apart. Honestly, I don't think it was that great. My parents said to me a few years ago that it's hard because you get out of the mindset of being in 'baby mode' just to be forced back into it, which they found difficult. It's a lot of stress doing two young babies at the same time, but since they go through milestones together, you're never having to switch gears in such crazy ways.

#3 The last problem was, I was never able to be that close to my brothers or sister mostly due to age differences. They'd hit milestones and I just couldn't relate or I was too young to fit in (or too old). The minute one of us would hit middle school, the other hit high school, hit high school, the other graduate, etc. I still get along with my siblings, but honestly, I talk to them once every 6 mo or so now, if that. I just have very little in common. On the flip side, my wife is about a year apart from her brother and they're really quite close. They never fought the same way I did with my siblings (we really fought a ton) and they have a lot in common because they did so much together (both in the same high school band, took similar class trips, shared group of friends). Personally, I'd rather my kids be a little closer relationship wise, especially since it'll just be the two of them. When my parents die, I may never talk to my siblings again, or at least, very sparingly. My wife's brother comes over a few times a year just for vacations and I don't see that stopping really.

Thanks for the detailed answer. All are very good reasons, I think. I do enjoy having that closer relationship with my sister now, but my husband and his sister are 5 years apart and apparently she was quite helpful when he was a kid (kept his mom from chucking his crying butt off a pier in a fit of postpartum blues, for one.), and having a non-baby/toddler underfoot with a newborn in the scene as well is very appealing. Like with you guys, though, we got together quite late and I've just had my first at 34, and I'll be 35 this year. :/ I really hate this tyranny of time. I fear the choice may be taken away from me, but hearing your account of it, it may not be such a bad idea anyway.

I know the feeling you both are sharing. We have two kids and are discussing if we want to have a third. The first year was bad with our first born. I honestly wasn't sure if we'd make it many times.

Our second is now 3 months old and while it's no where near as bad as it was the first time, our relationship has definitely taken a hit. Our 5 year marriage anniversary was a week ago and we stayed in and argued about what kind of pizza to order and then argued about what to watch, while tending to a fussy baby. It felt bad.

Currently we're sleeping on opposite floors of the house. She is a very light sleeper and works Monday through Friday 8:30-4:30, and the baby is sleeping decently, so currently I am getting him all night every night and I'll nap weekend mornings. In return she is helping out a ton with the house work, since I am not able to do as much as I used to either due to lack of sleep or just having a fussy baby who wants to cuddle 24/7.

The lack of dates, adult time together, and being in the same bed have definitely taken it's toll, but we're pretty good about talking things through which is nice. I told her my main concern with having another isn't so much the difficulties of having a third child, but more the hit our relationship would take again that first year. She brought up a good point that it's harder going from having older kids and the ability to go on dates and have fun to that first year than it is just sort of continuing it.

I know it's effecting me more, being the stay at home parent who gets a lot less time with other adults. I really am thankful that she is understanding though and that we communicate well. I wouldn't feel nearly as secure if we didn't. It's also easier having gone through this before with the first born. It helps me know it's temporary.

Sorry things are so tough right now, but yeah, not having to change gears since you're still in baby mode seems 'easier' at least. Any chance to arrange some of that adult time sooner rather than later (family around or nanny for the night)?

Luckily, our first hasn't been so bad. She has some fussy moments, but my husband and I still seem to like each other, have been tag-teaming pretty well (I take the bulk of the baby while he works but he pitches in on weekends and brings me coffee in the morning/takes her for an hour or so so I can sleep in a bit on weekdays), are still intimate, and both view the whole process with a darkly sarcastic eye. Still early days yet, though.

Think we're both on board for a second at this point, but man it seems tough to do two little ones. Can't imagine three. *_*

 

[zbarron]

Sorry things are so tough right now, but yeah, not having to change gears since you're still in baby mode seems 'easier' at least. Any chance to arrange some of that adult time sooner rather than later (family around or nanny for the night)?

Luckily, our first hasn't been so bad. She has some fussy moments, but my husband and I still seem to like each other, have been tag-teaming pretty well (I take the bulk of the baby while he works but he pitches in on weekends and brings me coffee in the morning/takes her for an hour or so so I can sleep in a bit on weekdays), are still intimate, and both view the whole process with a darkly sarcastic eye. Still early days yet, though.

Think we're both on board for a second at this point, but man it seems tough to do two little ones. Can't imagine three. *_*

Her friend moved back to town recently so she asked her if she'd be interested in babysitting, which meant a lot to me. We'll probably get a date within the next month. She's very picky about sitters and doesn't find it easy trusting strangers with our children, which I understand.

She also has a lot going on right now. She had an abnormal pap and needed a biopsy which she just had, but now we have to wait weeks for the result.

I don't mean to complain. I have an amazing wife and a wonderful family. I just miss spending more quality time with her.

I'm glad to hear you are working as a team with your husband. In my opinion that's pretty much the most important thing. We definitely work as a team and help each other out. Caring for a baby is just hard, stressful, 24/7 work as we all know.

 

[Monkeylord]

We have our appointment for the last scan this Friday. My little man could be here any time now, apparently.

I'm terricited!

 

[Midn1ght]

My little one turned 1 month last week.

South-East Asia was hit by the biggest heat wave ever recorded in April and it's still going on. Keeping her cool and hydrated is a hell of a job but she's going through it like a champion.

 

[indigo-cyclops]

11 weeks today. crazy how much hes changed but man there are some real rough patches. He probably had diarrhea for most of the last month and we finally switched to Nutramigen after it just got worse. His eating was good for a while after zantac but the pask week or so has been real rough with him just not taking more than 2 oz comfortably and then fighting through the rest. He will sometimes finish but we don't force it on him anymore.

Not sure if it's the nutramigen, the reflux returning, a behavioral thing or a feeding aversion but it makes an otherwise happy and pleasant baby miserable.

May have to call the pediatrician again but not so sure I have faith in them anymore to really take some steps to figure this out. They probably see it all the time

 

[JoeNut]

ohh shit she tested positive, here we go!! super excited

 

[Interfectum]

Baby due in sept, I'm starting to plan my pre-baby gaming finale before the birth... Uncharted 4, Overwatch, Witcher 3 expansion, No Mans Sky. Not a bad way to go out.

Luckily I have Vita so I can sneak in PS4 games on the shitter.

 

[Icefire1424]

Yup. In the same boat here. While it has gotten better, it's still really difficult. The kid basically gets all her attention and that leaves whatever left for our relationship (...which isn't a lot).

I have a feeling it's pretty common, but yeah it doesn't make it any easier. She recently initiated discussions about the next kid and that was a point that I brought up : If this is how it is with one kid, how will our relationship be with another? It's still up for discussion at this point.

Absolutely. Just from chatting in here and with other parents, it seems to be remarkably common. It's really tough, yea, but it is somewhat reassuring to know there are many others that are going through the exact same thing. Like you said, doesn't always make it easier, but reassuring, at the very least.

 

[Spades]

Terrible Twos is a real thing, you guys.

 

[Icefire1424]

Terrible Twos is a real thing, you guys.

I hear threes are worse. Either way, I think our kid is advanced, she hit terrible twos at 18 months.

"No! Stop it! My do it!"

/goes boneless.

 

[MMBosstones86]

Baby due in sept, I'm starting to plan my pre-baby gaming finale before the birth... Uncharted 4, Overwatch, Witcher 3 expansion, No Mans Sky. Not a bad way to go out.

Luckily I have Vita so I can sneak in PS4 games on the shitter.

I found I only lost a couple months of so before I was able to get some semblance of a routine back. Especially early on when the kid is napping. "Hunny, you take a nap...I'll take the kid upstairs for a bit". Kid falls asleep on my lap for an hour. Good times.

It's also incentive to get sleeping under control....as now all of my gaming takes place after my ladies go to bed.

I hear threes are worse. Either way, I think our kid is advanced, she hit terrible twos at 18 months.

"No! Stop it! My do it!"

/goes boneless.

I love picking up my exorcist baby. I'm probably not helping, because I have a tendency to laugh with whens being dramatic flopping around.

 

[zbarron]

Terrible Twos is a real thing, you guys.

I hear threes are worse. Either way, I think our kid is advanced, she hit terrible twos at 18 months.

"No! Stop it! My do it!"

/goes boneless.

Maybe I just got lucky but I never minded those times nearly as much as the first year. At least at that point you can give them a time out if they do something bad. Also they are more communicative and you can play with them more. Still I think it gets better and better. Gabe, my oldest is 5 now and I can't think of a year I didn't like more than the previous year. That might change once we hit teenage years but we'll see. At least at that point he should be able to hold his own in Smash Bros.

 

[Skellig Gra]

Pete all of a sudden slept 6+, 5+, 6+, then 7+ hours straight the last 4 nights. Hoping this is the start of something big!

ohh shit she tested positive, here we go!! super excited

Congrats! It's a wild ride.

 

[zbarron]

Pete all of a sudden slept 6+, 5+, 6+, then 7+ hours straight the last 4 nights. Hoping this is the start of something big!


Congrats! It's a wild ride.

That's how it happened with Nick. He did that for a little less than a week, then had 3 days of crap sleep, and now most nights are 5+ with the shit night thrown in to keep me on my toes. Do you have a bedtime routine down?

 

[Skellig Gra]

That's how it happened with Nick. He did that for a little less than a week, then had 3 days of crap sleep, and now most nights are 5+ with the shit night thrown in to keep me on my toes. Do you have a bedtime routine down?

Yeah, we have a pretty solid routine. My wife feeds him and then I sing to him and rock him to sleep. Typically he's out by 8. Although the sun setting later might throw a wrench in that.