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[H.Protagonist]

Turns out the method involed some/that's what it turned into. He's doing alright at night but naps are a challenge. Are you using a specific method?

Nothing super concrete. I'm loosely trying to follow the eat/play/sleep pattern, I watch for sleep signs at the end of those 90min cycles like a hawk, and I give her 5-10mins of sorting herself out before I start trying soothers to get her to sleep.

Eye-rubbing, yawning, irritability after trying a few things to entertain/calm her are the keys for me. I see any one of those and I start doing a 'cool-down' sway and make my way to her cot. I usually have the room prepped (lights off, phone plugged in so it doesn't die running the white noise app) and once I feel that she's calm-ish I'll just set her down in the cot and roll her onto her belly. I'll adjust her hips and arms and then I'll stand back out of sight and watch or sit down with a book and gauge the next step.

Whiny cries: I do nothing, just watch.
Rising cries for 10+ mins: I'll do a heartbeat butt pat that fades off.
Rising cries + lots of thrashing and head-lifting for 10+ mins: I'll try the butt pat first then maybe introduce her dummy to calm her down (<--I sit in the room till she falls asleep here and then snag the dummy ninja-like when she spits it out. Otherwise she rolls on it and the tears begin.)

^If I'm desperate or very tired I'll also pick her up and rock her back to drowsiness then set her down in the cot and roll her to her belly and see how it goes. If it's the first 'nap' or been 2+ hours since she's eaten I'll sometimes feed her before setting her down, but I'm trying to phase that out entirely so that she doesn't always need to eat to sleep.

^If she fails to go to sleep or it just doesn't look like it's going to happen, I get her up and wait for the next cycle signs and try again.

When she stirs or wakes on those 30min and 40-45min markers I never go straight to her or do anything. I'll have a look in and make sure she hasn't rolled, but otherwise I'll just watch or wait ~10mins to let her try and sort it. I've been doing this for over a month now and generally she'll put herself back to sleep. If it seems like she's just working herself up and more awake, I'll pop a dummy in and/or butt pat her back down, but if it's after 5PM I'll usually just get her up.

Sample day:

Night Sleep Ext.: wakes 6-6:30AM ish, (tummy) goes down around 7:30-8AM (usually sleeps 40min-1hr)
Nap 1: (tummy) goes down around 10 -11AM (usually sleeps 1.5-2hrs)
Nap 2: (tummy) goes down around 1-2PM (usually sleeps 1-1.5hrs)
Nap 3: (tummy) goes down around 4-5PM (usually sleeps 40min-1hr)
Bedtime: (swaddled on back) 7:30PM-9PM

Basically, it's a flexible schedule where I just watch for the signs and play it by ear. In general, though, she has at least 3 naps and day and sleeps ~3.5-4hrs on average. A pretty decent day napper overall. I do wonder if her getting good day naps is what's killing me at night, but the day napping keeps me sane and her waking 4+ times a night still is something I can survive for another month or so until we get her a cot and I implement some stricter nighttime sleep training.

 

[zbarron]

Thanks for all that. I've evolved it to basically a gentler version of the Ferber method. Here
is our schedule.

Wake up at 7:00
Nap 1 at 8:30
Nap 2 at 12:00
Nap 3 at 3:00-4:00
If that doesn;t take final short nap at 5:00
Bed at 7:30
First wake for feed at 2:00AM
Second wale for feed at 4:00-5:00AM
Wake at 7:00

When putting him down for naps or sleep I'll wait until he shows signs of being really tired and then we'll cuddle for a bit so he knows he's loved. I'll put him in the crib and rub his back then tell him I love him and it's time to sleep and walk out. Repeat in 3 minutes, the 4 minutes, then 5 etc until he is either out or it's clear he's not going down.

For the most part it's working well for us. Sometimes his older brother is too loud and wakes him. Last night he peed a ton and soaked through his clothes and made a giant wet spot in the crib at 4:00AM so I changed him and moved him to my bed with me.

I'm getting a ton more rest and a lot more time during the day to get stuff done. Also because I'm not "forced" to be holding him 24/7 I am enjoying the time I have with him so much more.

 

[RoryDropkick]

Oh cheese and crackers, I do believe the kids have entered the sleep regression phase. Both Jacob and Andrew have been waking up at 1am nearly on the dot for the past few nights even though we've done everything to get them down around 8:30-9. Baths, sleep suits and bottles before bed. Get to sleep and *ping* kiddos are up. I'm sure it's a teething thing. We'll get through this I'm sure.

 

[Skellig Gra]

Well we made it through our California vacation with Pete. He did so well the whole time. And he got his first 2 teeth in 2 days in to the trip so we had to manage his pain on the fly. Overall, all 3 of us had a great time. Next trip is to the UK in September.

 

[JoeNut]

So i've now told all my family, most of my friends and my workmates that i'm gonna be a dad in the middle of January, it's so weird that everyone just seems super excited for us. i don't think i can comprehend crying because someone else is going to have a baby, but that seems to be the reaction we're getting so far haha.

 

[Peagles]

.

 

[otake]

Still struggling for a name.... frustrating.

People asks what names we are thinking of and whenever we give the list people shit all over it.

Very frustrating. We should not have told anyone any names.

 

[JoeNut]

Still struggling for a name.... frustrating.

People asks what names we are thinking of and whenever we give the list people shit all over it.

Very frustrating. We should not have told anyone any names.

Yeah we're not gonna tell anyone the name...when we come up with one.

if people don't like it then it's tough, as long as you both like it.

 

[yellowjacket25]

Still struggling for a name.... frustrating.

People asks what names we are thinking of and whenever we give the list people shit all over it.

Very frustrating. We should not have told anyone any names.

Yeah, me and my wife went through the same thing. We ended up with a name that we never really even discussed with anyone. Some people love some names and hate others. Every name you go through will be disliked by someone if you ask enough people.

 

[RetroMG]

My wife and I have finally settled on a name, but when we tell people, we keep saying that we reserve the right to change it once we get to the hospital, in case we look at her and she's not really a Mia.

 

[echoshifting]

My wife and I have finally settled on a name, but when we tell people, we keep saying that we reserve the right to change it once we get to the hospital, in case we look at her and she's not really a Mia.

She'd be in good company around here

 

[H.Protagonist]

Thanks for all that. I've evolved it to basically a gentler version of the Ferber method. Here
is our schedule.

Wake up at 7:00
Nap 1 at 8:30
Nap 2 at 12:00
Nap 3 at 3:00-4:00
If that doesn;t take final short nap at 5:00
Bed at 7:30
First wake for feed at 2:00AM
Second wale for feed at 4:00-5:00AM
Wake at 7:00

When putting him down for naps or sleep I'll wait until he shows signs of being really tired and then we'll cuddle for a bit so he knows he's loved. I'll put him in the crib and rub his back then tell him I love him and it's time to sleep and walk out. Repeat in 3 minutes, the 4 minutes, then 5 etc until he is either out or it's clear he's not going down.

For the most part it's working well for us. Sometimes his older brother is too loud and wakes him. Last night he peed a ton and soaked through his clothes and made a giant wet spot in the crib at 4:00AM so I changed him and moved him to my bed with me.

I'm getting a ton more rest and a lot more time during the day to get stuff done. Also because I'm not "forced" to be holding him 24/7 I am enjoying the time I have with him so much more.

Pretty similar to ours except your nights are waaay better. I'm on the 4th day of maybe 2 hours of sleep and my head feels like broken glass. Congrats on the nap success, though!

Oh cheese and crackers, I do believe the kids have entered the sleep regression phase. Both Jacob and Andrew have been waking up at 1am nearly on the dot for the past few nights even though we've done everything to get them down around 8:30-9. Baths, sleep suits and bottles before bed. Get to sleep and *ping* kiddos are up. I'm sure it's a teething thing. We'll get through this I'm sure.

I can't imagine how hard that must be with twins. Good luck, man.

My wife and I have finally settled on a name, but when we tell people, we keep saying that we reserve the right to change it once we get to the hospital, in case we look at her and she's not really a Mia.

As echoshifting said...you'll be in good company. ^_^;

 

[Septimus Prime]

This is what we get for watching Breaking Bad right after he was born.

 

[Skellig Gra]

This is what we get for watching Breaking Bad right after he was born.

He can't keep getting away with it.gif

 

[Dot Matrix]

So after just a couple of weeks of one of my girls getting cleared of cystic fibrosis, the other develops a lump on her chest overnight. Right in the middle on the breast bone. It's a dome about the width of a golf ball and raised about 2 cm. It's really hard and feels like bone. The doctor didn't know what it was so booked us an appointment at the hospital, but it was for the first week of August.

We decided not to wait and got a second opinion and were referred the same day. The nurses, doctors, and consultants had never seen anything like it and so have booked us to see a pediatric oncologist on Monday. They did an xray but that only confirmed it isn't a bone growth.

I'm at work at the moment and my wife just messaged me to say she thinks another lump is growing just above it.

I'm really worried that no one has ever seen anything like it. But I guess if it was cancer or a tumor then it wouldn't be so hard. And it isn't sore or anything so it doesn't bother her.

In the 14 months since they were born I think we've had about 6 weeks in total where one wasn't in hospital or we weren't waiting on some kind of results or diagnosis. It's going to be the longest weekend ever. It fucking sucks. My girls don't deserve this.

 

[H.Protagonist]

Desperate times calls for desperate measures, guys.

...

^Tonight's experiment.

So after just a couple of weeks of one of my girls getting cleared of cystic fibrosis, the other develops a lump on her chest overnight. Right in the middle on the breast bone. It's a dome about the width of a golf ball and raised about 2 cm. It's really hard and feels like bone. The doctor didn't know what it was so booked us an appointment at the hospital, but it was for the first week of August.

We decided not to wait and got a second opinion and were referred the same day. The nurses, doctors, and consultants had never seen anything like it and so have booked us to see a pediatric oncologist on Monday. They did an xray but that only confirmed it isn't a bone growth.

I'm at work at the moment and my wife just messaged me to say she thinks another lump is growing just above it.

I'm really worried that no one has ever seen anything like it. But I guess if it was cancer or a tumor then it wouldn't be so hard. And it isn't sore or anything so it doesn't bother her.

In the 14 months since they were born I think we've had about 6 weeks in total where one wasn't in hospital or we weren't waiting on some kind of results or diagnosis. It's going to be the longest weekend ever. It fucking sucks. My girls don't deserve this.

Sorry to hear it, DM. Hoping you get more concrete (and better) news next appointment.

 

[Skellig Gra]

H Pro, we just bought the same thing (same color even). It definitely reduced Petes movement at night and it's pretty hilarious to see in action.

 

[mrkgoo]

Desperate times calls for desperate measures, guys.

...


^Tonight's experiment.



Sorry to hear it, DM. Hoping you get more concrete (and better) news next appointment.

Lol at the sleepsuit. It looks cute!

 

[anarckitty]

Desperate times calls for desperate measures, guys.

...


^Tonight's experiment

lol. We almost bought one for Ben, but he ended up doing well with the arms up swaddle. He was able to self soothe. He was doing so well with his sleeping for about two solid weeks. Now I feel like we're back at square one.

 

[Peagles]

.

 

[zbarron]

Anyone else leave their sex of their baby a mystery until birth? Any tips? I don't really foresee any problems not knowing but have come across a few naysayers, lol.

We decided to know as soon as possible but I have one tip. When you are getting the ultrasound look away at first. With our first born the moment they put it to my wife's skin it was very obvious we were having a boy. Most are good about not saying anything but there really isn't much she could have done if we didn't want to know.

 

[H.Protagonist]

H Pro, we just bought the same thing (same color even). It definitely reduced Petes movement at night and it's pretty hilarious to see in action.

Was going to go for the blue, but she has so many blue things already, so thought yellow would give some variety. It does seem to restrict her a bit (at least rolling-wise), but she somehow still has the power to touch her face. Going to have to try and leave her hands in more instead of pulling them all the way through. It's the face-touching that wakes her up a lot. And, yeah, part of its worth is just entertainment value. If nothing else.

Tried it for first time last night, and initial impressions left me really hopeful. She went down wide awake and without a peep. But...same as every other night, she repeated the exact same pattern of waking ~every 1-2 hours after that. Very disheartening. Will keep trying it and will modify her bedtime routine (a la the advice in this article which seems to match our problem exactly). We're still giving her a bottle right before we put her down, so that might be part of the problem. *sigh* Is it working for you guys so far? Know I have to try it out a while, but definitely curious about other people's experience.

Lol at the sleepsuit. It looks cute!

I love that it's like a fat man suit.

lol. We almost bought one for Ben, but he ended up doing well with the arms up swaddle. He was able to self soothe. He was doing so well with his sleeping for about two solid weeks. Now I feel like we're back at square one.

Tried doing the slow transition of one arm at a time, but mine just simply cannot leave her face alone. Sleeping on her stomach? No problem. On her back at night? Punch punch rub rub scratch scratch...

And back to square one? It stopped suddenly?

Anyone else leave their sex of their baby a mystery until birth? Any tips? I don't really foresee any problems not knowing but have come across a few naysayers, lol.

We weren't going to bother but plain curiosity won out for us. I don't believe there are any real downsides, but everyone seems to think you need to know for decorations or buying stuff. Unless you buy into the whole blue boy/pink girl thing, you're gold.

 

[RetroMG]

Anyone else leave their sex of their baby a mystery until birth? Any tips? I don't really foresee any problems not knowing but have come across a few naysayers, lol.

My wife wanted to leave it as a surprise but I wanted to know. I won out because my wife was having a hard time finding gender-neutral clothes at our local stores, and she figured that wasn't fair for the people she invited to the baby shower.

He had a tough time finding out, though. The first time the Doctor tried to check, the baby put her legs up to block the view.

 

[Vyer]

Ah man, best wishes.

I'm so sorry to hear that. It always sucks when your kids get hurt.

Sorry to read this Vyer! How is he doing today?

Thanks. A week later and he's back to his wild self. Stitches have dissolved and the cut above his eye is still a little pink but has closed up well. Nose too.

I am curious what level of scarring he'll have considering how young it is. It's basically where his eyebrow is so at least that'll help.

 

[RoryDropkick]

So after just a couple of weeks of one of my girls getting cleared of cystic fibrosis, the other develops a lump on her chest overnight. Right in the middle on the breast bone. It's a dome about the width of a golf ball and raised about 2 cm. It's really hard and feels like bone. The doctor didn't know what it was so booked us an appointment at the hospital, but it was for the first week of August.

We decided not to wait and got a second opinion and were referred the same day. The nurses, doctors, and consultants had never seen anything like it and so have booked us to see a pediatric oncologist on Monday. They did an xray but that only confirmed it isn't a bone growth.

I'm at work at the moment and my wife just messaged me to say she thinks another lump is growing just above it.

I'm really worried that no one has ever seen anything like it. But I guess if it was cancer or a tumor then it wouldn't be so hard. And it isn't sore or anything so it doesn't bother her.

In the 14 months since they were born I think we've had about 6 weeks in total where one wasn't in hospital or we weren't waiting on some kind of results or diagnosis. It's going to be the longest weekend ever. It fucking sucks. My girls don't deserve this.

Best of luck to you. I hope everything goes well.

 

[echoshifting]

Thanks. A week later and he's back to his wild self. Stitches have dissolved and the cut above his eye is still a little pink but has closed up well. Nose too.

I am curious what level of scarring he'll have considering how young it is. It's basically where his eyebrow is so at least that'll help.

I wouldn't think there would be too much. I had to get stitches on my lip when I was only a little older than him, it was noticeable when I was really young but today you really have to look for it.

 

[Peagles]

.

 

[piratepwnsninja]

ParentGAF, I'm super nervous right now. We're at the hospital getting monitored because my wife is considered high risk, and they're giving the steroids to help the babies lungs develop faster, etc. We're around 6 weeks early, and from what I've gathered they're probably going to induce on Wednesday/Thursday. As I've mentioned before in this thread, this is number three for us after a 10 year gap (other kids are 15 and 10), but we've never had a child this early. Our others were 38 weeks, so two weeks early. He's already measuring over 5 pounds. Anyone else here have their child early? Just a bit scared...

 

[RoryDropkick]

ParentGAF, I'm super nervous right now. We're at the hospital getting monitored because my wife is considered high risk, and they're giving the steroids to help the babies lungs develop faster, etc. We're around 6 weeks early, and from what I've gathered they're probably going to induce on Wednesday/Thursday. As I've mentioned before in this thread, this is number three for us after a 10 year gap (other kids are 15 and 10), but we've never had a child this early. Our others were 38 weeks, so two weeks early. He's already measuring over 5 pounds. Anyone else here have their child early? Just a bit scared...

Our twins came 2 months early. My wife went to the doctor for a check up and they found her to have high blood pressure. Twins were scheduled for an emergency c-section that night. Pre-ecclampsia is a scary thing but it will be ok. The kiddos had to stay in the Nicu for a while. Jacob got out a little bit before Christmas, and Andrew got out a bit after the new year this year.

 

[Ozzy Onya A2Z]

My wife and I have finally settled on a name, but when we tell people, we keep saying that we reserve the right to change it once we get to the hospital, in case we look at her and she's not really a Mia.

Good move, my wife changed my daughter's decided pre-birth name right after she was born. She was going to be Sienna but turned out to be Indiana. I can't imagine her without her Indi nickname. It was my choice for our second born as my wife named our first, William our son. She veto'd after delivery but it was instantly the right choice after we saw her.

 

[Jive Turkey]

Ugh, I knew this was going to happen eventually but there's no amount of preperation could make it any easier. We went to a birthday party and another little boy was doing everything he could to be downright mean to my son. Whenever my son tried to play with a toy the other boy would take it. When my son tried to join the other kids playing he wouldn't let him. It was excruciating sitting there watching it but he had to handle it himself. He did a really good job too and I'm incredibly proud of him but that didn't make it any easier.

Anyone else leave their sex of their baby a mystery until birth? Any tips? I don't really foresee any problems not knowing but have come across a few naysayers, lol.

My wife and I opted to keep it a mystery. The sonographer did a great job about warning us to look away when she was going to check. Unfortunately, when she told us it was safe to look back, my son took that as his cue to grab his ankles and wave his dangly bits at the "camera". My wife didn't notice and the tech did her best to try to hide it but I was pretty sure we were having a boy. Still, we enjoyed not knowing and we're going to do it again with the next kid.

ParentGAF, I'm super nervous right now. We're at the hospital getting monitored because my wife is considered high risk, and they're giving the steroids to help the babies lungs develop faster, etc. We're around 6 weeks early, and from what I've gathered they're probably going to induce on Wednesday/Thursday. As I've mentioned before in this thread, this is number three for us after a 10 year gap (other kids are 15 and 10), but we've never had a child this early. Our others were 38 weeks, so two weeks early. He's already measuring over 5 pounds. Anyone else here have their child early? Just a bit scared...

My son was born 6 weeks early. It was a rough time but he's a tough little guy and just recently turned two and was cleared of all premature monitoring.

 

[zbarron]

ParentGAF, I'm super nervous right now. We're at the hospital getting monitored because my wife is considered high risk, and they're giving the steroids to help the babies lungs develop faster, etc. We're around 6 weeks early, and from what I've gathered they're probably going to induce on Wednesday/Thursday. As I've mentioned before in this thread, this is number three for us after a 10 year gap (other kids are 15 and 10), but we've never had a child this early. Our others were 38 weeks, so two weeks early. He's already measuring over 5 pounds. Anyone else here have their child early? Just a bit scared...

My wife went into labor repeatedly with our second. They had to stop her from laboring. She ended up having him at 39 weeks and he was a whopping 9 lbs 6 ounces. He probably would have been a normal sized baby when she went into labor the first time. This was after a 5 year gap. She was also considered high risk and all that. They've come a long way with premies even since your last one was born. Your baby and wife will be fine. I know it's scary, but hang in there.

 

[Icefire1424]

ParentGAF, I'm super nervous right now. We're at the hospital getting monitored because my wife is considered high risk, and they're giving the steroids to help the babies lungs develop faster, etc. We're around 6 weeks early, and from what I've gathered they're probably going to induce on Wednesday/Thursday.

Best of luck mate, I'm sure everything will be fine!

Changing topics, but curious if anyone else has gone through something similar to what we are at the moment. Daughter is 2 years, 3 months old, and has never really been a good sleeper. We never could go through with the "cry it out" method for sleep, instead opting to rock her to sleep before putting her into the crib for the night. 2 years on, we're now trying to get her to sleep in her bed on her own, without needing to rock her first.

Been working on it for a couple nights now, and as expected, it's tough. After her bath and a couple books we put her down in her bed, and when she tries to climb out, we place her back down. Much crying ensues. When she got really upset one of us would comfort her for a moment, then put her back down. She eventually tired herself out after an hour or so, and fell asleep. As usual though, she did wake up once in the middle of the night, and we repeated the process. More crying, and it took us another hour or so before we got her to lay back down without crying, with both of us agreeing to stay in her room with her as she fell asleep, if she stayed in her bed. She seemed okay with that, and eventually fell asleep again with us hanging out in the room. The wife and I actually fell asleep on the floor while we were waiting for her to fall asleep again.

Wondering if anyone has gone through this and might have any tips. We're planning to keep at this for awhile, and just keep putting her down in her bed after story time. She has a blanket and a stuffed dog she snuggles with, so we'll use that to help. I'm thinking this is just one of those things that will take time and patience, and not much else.

 

[Peagles]

.

 

[zbarron]

Best of luck mate, I'm sure everything will be fine!

Changing topics, but curious if anyone else has gone through something similar to what we are at the moment. Daughter is 2 years, 3 months old, and has never really been a good sleeper. We never could go through with the "cry it out" method for sleep, instead opting to rock her to sleep before putting her into the crib for the night. 2 years on, we're now trying to get her to sleep in her bed on her own, without needing to rock her first.

Been working on it for a couple nights now, and as expected, it's tough. After her bath and a couple books we put her down in her bed, and when she tries to climb out, we place her back down. Much crying ensues. When she got really upset one of us would comfort her for a moment, then put her back down. She eventually tired herself out after an hour or so, and fell asleep. As usual though, she did wake up once in the middle of the night, and we repeated the process. More crying, and it took us another hour or so before we got her to lay back down without crying, with both of us agreeing to stay in her room with her as she fell asleep, if she stayed in her bed. She seemed okay with that, and eventually fell asleep again with us hanging out in the room. The wife and I actually fell asleep on the floor while we were waiting for her to fall asleep again.

Wondering if anyone has gone through this and might have any tips. We're planning to keep at this for awhile, and just keep putting her down in her bed after story time. She has a blanket and a stuffed dog she snuggles with, so we'll use that to help. I'm thinking this is just one of those things that will take time and patience, and not much else.

Where are you during all this? Do you leave the room? You could try sitting in the chair or lying on the floor even telling her that you'll be right there and she's not alone but she needs to stay in her bed. It shouldn't take her that long to fall asleep.

 

[Icefire1424]

Where are you during all this? Do you leave the room? You could try sitting in the chair or lying on the floor even telling her that you'll be right there and she's not alone but she needs to stay in her bed. It shouldn't take her that long to fall asleep.

We are with her in the room with her while all of this is happening. The plan is to gradually give her more space as she gets used to the change. Last night we ended up falling asleep on the floor next to her bed. As she gets better we plan to move from the floor to sitting on the chair, or on the other side of the room, to just spending a few minutes in her room, to eventually getting to the point where we can put her down and fall asleep on her own. Basically, we plan to "interact" with her less and less each night.

 

[zbarron]

We are with her in the room with her while all of this is happening. The plan is to gradually give her more space as she gets used to the change. Last night we ended up falling asleep on the floor next to her bed. As she gets better we plan to move from the floor to sitting on the chair, or on the other side of the room, to just spending a few minutes in her room, to eventually getting to the point where we can put her down and fall asleep on her own. Basically, we plan to "interact" with her less and less each night.

That sounds like a good plan. I'm not one to talk much on this subject. We never did any sleep training with our oldest who is now 5. We still lie in his bed (full size memory foam) until he is asleep. It's one of the reasons I'm pushing for sleep training with our 5 month old.

 

[mrkgoo]

We are with her in the room with her while all of this is happening. The plan is to gradually give her more space as she gets used to the change. Last night we ended up falling asleep on the floor next to her bed. As she gets better we plan to move from the floor to sitting on the chair, or on the other side of the room, to just spending a few minutes in her room, to eventually getting to the point where we can put her down and fall asleep on her own. Basically, we plan to "interact" with her less and less each night.

Yeah that's the idea.

When we did sleep training with out first child it was about a week to get her to sleep on her own. At that point we still used to lie on a bed in the same room until she actually fell asleep, lol I remember lying there and playing metroid fusion on a GBA micro. But eventually you notice they don't even look and notice you are there or not and at that time you can try not being there at all.

 

[Ozzy Onya A2Z]

We are with her in the room with her while all of this is happening. The plan is to gradually give her more space as she gets used to the change. Last night we ended up falling asleep on the floor next to her bed. As she gets better we plan to move from the floor to sitting on the chair, or on the other side of the room, to just spending a few minutes in her room, to eventually getting to the point where we can put her down and fall asleep on her own. Basically, we plan to "interact" with her less and less each night.

We did this with my son, who didn't sleep well for his first two years. Another tip we found useful for this part of the sleep training was also turning away e.g. facing the door and not your child. We did the facing away gradually as well, small incremental degrees with the incremental distances.

Once we go used to that our daughter was far easier and they both sleep like champions for the last 4+ years, every night unless they are sick. It could just be a difference of child/genetics/whatever more than the training but these techniques got us past real sleep issues for the whole family.

 

[piratepwnsninja]

Ahhh I dislike this so much. They've broken my wife's water, and we found out that due to her sjogrens, they weren't going to give her an epidural. She is in so much pain. They don't want to give her much pain medication since it will effect the baby and he's early so that's not great. I've done this twice before, I know it's in hands far more capable than mine and that I just need to be here for her but it still sucks bad, ParentGAF.

 

[Dot Matrix]

My daughter had an ultrasound and a CT scan at the oncologist ward and none of the doctors have ever seen anything like it. All they can tell is that it's a soft tissue mass with roots in the sternum. Apparently they can tell that there are blood vessels in it but can't tell if it's a major blood vessel.

They have booked an emergency surgical biopsy for this morning but we probably won't get the results of that until next week. They can't even give us a best or worst case scenario as no one has any clue what it is. It could be anything from an abnormally presenting inflammatory condition to a giant cancerous growth.

It's going to be the longest week ever.

FYI, starving a tired baby and then trying to get them to lie still for a scan is one of the hardest and most draining activities in the world.

 

[Jive Turkey]

Geez Dot. I'm very sorry you and your girls are going through all that. Here's hoping for the best.

 

[theaface]

Hi ParentGAF. It's great to finally be able to join your ranks!

Long story short, it's taken my wife and I much much longer than we anticipated to fall pregnant and it's been a very emotional and difficult journey along the way, but thankfully a couple of months ago we got the news we'd been hoping for.

Today we had our 12 week scan which we were incredibly excited and nervous about in equal measure. Everything came up looking great/normal and nothing so far to be alarmed about. I know it's still relatively early days but for now, things are looking positive and we're so excited about welcoming our newbie into the world in January.

I'm sure I'll have a million and one questions in time, but today we're just going to enjoy this milestone and start to tell some of our closer friends and family our news! Of course there's an inherent curiosity to know the gender of the baby, but we're both 100% sure we don't want to find out; a happy and healthy baby is more than enough to ask for in our eyes.

Dot Matrix, thinking of you and sending you best wishes.

 

[RetroMG]

Hi ParentGAF. It's great to finally be able to join your ranks!

Long story short, it's taken my wife and I much much longer than we anticipated to fall pregnant and it's been a very emotional and difficult journey along the way, but thankfully a couple of months ago we got the news we'd been hoping for.

Today we had our 12 week scan which we were incredibly excited and nervous about in equal measure. Everything came up looking great/normal and nothing so far to be alarmed about. I know it's still relatively early days but for now, things are looking positive and we're so excited about welcoming our newbie into the world in January.

I'm sure I'll have a million and one questions in time, but today we're just going to enjoy this milestone and start to tell some of our closer friends and family our news! Of course there's an inherent curiosity to know the gender of the baby, but we're both 100% sure we don't want to find out; a happy and healthy baby is more than enough to ask for in our eyes.

Dot Matrix, thinking of you and sending you best wishes.

Welcome, and congratulations! It took a loooong time for my wife and I to get pregnant too, so I know how you feel. Many years of sad tears when it didn't happen, and a lot of happy tears now that it has.

Dot, you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Skellig Gra]

My daughter had an ultrasound and a CT scan at the oncologist ward and none of the doctors have ever seen anything like it. All they can tell is that it's a soft tissue mass with roots in the sternum. Apparently they can tell that there are blood vessels in it but can't tell if it's a major blood vessel.

They have booked an emergency surgical biopsy for this morning but we probably won't get the results of that until next week. They can't even give us a best or worst case scenario as no one has any clue what it is. It could be anything from an abnormally presenting inflammatory condition to a giant cancerous growth.

It's going to be the longest week ever.

FYI, starving a tired baby and then trying to get them to lie still for a scan is one of the hardest and most draining activities in the world.

Good luck, we're here whenever you need to vent.

 

[mrkgoo]

My daughter had an ultrasound and a CT scan at the oncologist ward and none of the doctors have ever seen anything like it. All they can tell is that it's a soft tissue mass with roots in the sternum. Apparently they can tell that there are blood vessels in it but can't tell if it's a major blood vessel.

They have booked an emergency surgical biopsy for this morning but we probably won't get the results of that until next week. They can't even give us a best or worst case scenario as no one has any clue what it is. It could be anything from an abnormally presenting inflammatory condition to a giant cancerous growth.

It's going to be the longest week ever.

FYI, starving a tired baby and then trying to get them to lie still for a scan is one of the hardest and most draining activities in the world.

Oh man, best wishes to your and yours.

 

[Marty Chinn]

Any parents got a recommendation for audio headphones for a 3 and 5 year old that work well on a plane? All of the kids headphones limit volume, which is a good thing, but don't necessarily do noise isolation well so that you can hear on a plane. From what I can tell, none of them offer active noise cancellation either. It's surprising how hard it is to find info or recommendation from just Googling it.

 

[piratepwnsninja]

Update: Xander showed up yesterday evening at 8:45. Mom was a champ without pain medication, and was only in pushing labor for around 15 minutes. Just like with our other kids, when her body is like, "It's go time" it means it. 5 to 10 dilated and out in an hour.

He's doing ok in NICU. His temp has been elevated today, but not spiking super high so they're going to watch that. Of course it makes me worried. I've realized I worry a lot more now than when I was younger. He opened his eyes at the sound of my voice this afternoon, so that was awesome. Hopefully everything progresses well so we can take him home in a few weeks.



Dot Matrix, hoping for the best for you and your family.

 

[echoshifting]

Dot Matrix and piratepwnsninja...you and your families are in my thoughts. Congrats on the new arrival pirate and I hope everything progresses smoothly in NICU.

Latest dispatch on K:

Last night Mia and K were playing happily in our front yard for a couple of hours. We were relieved to have them out of the house and playing outside. Never really had any problems with them getting up to any trouble out there.

Until last night, anyway. My wife went out front to tell K it was time to go home to discover a nightmarish mess. The two of them had completely demolished a large hydrangea bush on the side of our house, covering our yard in branches and petals. They had been throwing them in our neighbors' yards (Mia claims it was only K who was doing this), and into the street. Huge piles of those long hydrangea branches in the road. What's worse, it came out they had actually been throwing them at moving cars (Mia has claimed some responsibility for this but it sounds like this was largely K as well).

My wife called me out front, Mia took one look at my face and knew she was in deep. She's been told not to pick flowers off the plants without permission and even then to only ever take one, and she sure as hell knows better than to throw things at moving cars. We made the two of them clean up pretty much everything in the yards and on the sidewalk (also completely covered) while we swept up the street.

No matter what we said or did, K did not seem to think she was in trouble or did anything wrong. She kept saying we were having a "cleanup party" and doing little dances. Whispering to Mia that she should ask us to let her stay later. Arguing with my wife, claiming it was no big deal to throw branches at moving cars. It was an embarrassing display. Boy, Mia sure knew she was in trouble. She clammed up good until we got in the house.

We had a long, long talk when we came inside. Felt like we were walking a tightrope; neither one of us wanted to come out and say "K is a bad influence!" or "that girl is trouble!" of course, but we wanted to get the message across that sometimes K, or other kids, will do stupid things and when that happens she needs to get herself out of the situation. She tearfully confessed that she knew it was wrong as soon as K started throwing things in neighbors' yards and into the street. We tried to give her some strategies for getting out of those situations, all we can do is hope she uses them I guess.

But, ya know, she's responsible for her own actions and we wanted to get that across too. She's grounded for a week...no iPad and no friends, in the middle of the summer. Kind of a bummer but she's never been in this much trouble before so we felt the punishment needed to be pretty stiff (I actually wanted the punishment to be harsher, my wife wanted it to be lighter, and this is the compromise we came to). I can count on one hand the number of times I've really had to punish this kid and none of them come anywhere close to this. By the end of the conversation it was clear that she was deeply ashamed and embarrassed by the whole thing. My wife whipped out the "we're disappointed in you" line and we all know how deep that one cuts.

I am not sure where to go from here with K. Frankly I'd be happy to not see her again at all for the rest of the summer, but I know that's not realistic. I can't pick Mia's friends for her. I could call K's mother and tell her what happened but based on the few conversations I've had with her I don't feel like I really have an ally there. I'm not sure what the point would be. Mia was involved too so it's not like I can ask K to pay for my ruined hydrangea or anything like that. And I don't want to take any action that leads Mia to believe that she's any less responsible than I feel she is. But, ya know what, that kid is a bad influence. And it seems like I'm stuck with her for the time being. Sigh.

So, am I overreacting? Underreacting? I feel like I'm in uncharted territory here.

 

[Keri]

Update for me: Baby Michael was born 3 weeks early, on the 5th of July. He was 6 lbs. 12 ounces and appears perfectly healthy! I was hospitalized on a Thursday for high blood pressure and told I would likely stay until an induction, but my blood pressure stabilized and they felt comfortable sending me home the next Sunday. Ironically, only a few hours after they sent me home, my water super broke on its own and we ended up going straight back to the hospital.

Labor sucked monkey balls. I was in labor for 31 hours. The majority of which was fine, because I had an epidural. I held out on the epidural for the first few hours though, because the nurses were telling me it was better to wait until I was more dilated, but my early contractions were coming fast and intense, so eventually I couldn't hold out any longer. Towards the end, things got bad again, because baby was pushing right on my spine and pelvis. The nurses told me an epidural can't mask that pain and I'd just have to push through it. Then, ironically, once I was fully dilated, my contractions slowed down and spaced themselves out...which lead to 3 hours of active pushing, before an episiotomy and, finally, birth.

Immediately afterwards, I started hemorrhaging a lot of blood and the doctor and two nurses had to press extraordinarily hard on my abdomen to get several clots out. That was probably the most intense pain I've ever felt. My husband told me later he was sure I was dying because there was so much blood and I was clearly in so much pain. In retrospect, I feel bad he had to see the whole thing. It may have been more traumatic for him than for me. I almost needed a blood transfusion afterwards, but the doctor decided I was doing well enough, they could just put me on a ton of Iron.

So, in the end, giving birth was pretty traumatic, but for any currently pregnant people reading this: My story is not the norm and, even after all of that, I feel convinced it was worth it. The clichés are all true. When I was stuck in the middle of it, I was convinced it was impossible. I couldn't imagine surviving through it and having a baby, but I did and I have no regrets. So, even if things don't go perfectly, odds are you will be fine, your baby will be fine and you'll be so happy you did it.