This is something i was thinking about too, as i think ffXV will probably be the last console game i get to play for a while!
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ParentGaf OT: Birth, Bib and Beyond
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This is something i was thinking about too, as i think ffXV will probably be the last console game i get to play for a while!
PanicFreak
Member
It's not hard squeezing gaming time in with a baby but you just have to be particular with the types of games you play. Forty hour RPGs are pretty much out of the question for me. It took me a month and a half to beat Deus Ex Mankind Divided. My suggestion to you is to hold off on large RPGs for times where there is very little for you coming out. My "long" game time is saved for April through July.
Septimus Prime
Member
I haven't yet. We started solids a bit late, so we're still on single ingredients. So far, he's liked everything but chicken.
Also--and I don't know how this happened--he knows to smile whenever he sees Mommy's iPhone because he loves taking pictures. But only for her phone. He'll completely ignore others.
Yeah, my gaming time has plummeted significantly. It took me like a week just to get through the World of FF demo, and I'm still on case 2 in Ace Attorney 6. I know people are bagging on the true portability of Switch, but I'll be happy if I can just take it to the bedroom and have it work. Three hours is more than enough battery time for me.
BriareosGAF
Member
Time to break out the 3DS again. There's a lot of Dragon Quest you can play with a sleeping baby on your chest.
Violence Jack
Member
Thanks. This actually makes me feel a lot better about trying for a kid now.
TheBryanJZX90
Member
Ugh undergoing a big potty training setback. After months with no accidents we're at daily accidents at home and now twice at school. ... going back to diapers is detrimental, right?
I would say so, but it's really up to the individual.
Is there a source for the accidents? Like is he doing it during naps, or just neglecting the feeling until it's too late (too busy playing)?
Our toilet training concentrated on teaching our child the coming feeling of going, and responding to that, rather than any reward for going.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Does anyone know if a severe allergic reaction can manifest hours after a bit of rash? I've tried searching for ages for some sort of clear answer, but nada. Mia got a bit of a face rash around her mouth tonight after her purees (I suspect it was the blueberries) and now that she's in bed asleep I'm working myself up worrying that she's going to worsen during the night and I won't know bc I'll be asleep, and if it's something like her throat swelling I'd never know bc she wouldn't be able to cry. 
She seemed cheerful and not really bothered in the 25 mins after eating it/the rash appeared, but I can't help but worry. My brain is constantly mulling over death scenarios. I hate this part of parenthood.
Give it a go. Best to way to be sure baby is getting enough iron in their diet as apparently breast milk stops being enough after 6 months.
Even if the pregnancy exacerbates the issue, I'm sure a doctor can recommend some kind of alleviation. Don't let the fear of it keep you guys from trying when/if you want to. Maybe see a doctor beforehand to see if there are any lifestyle changes or medication (BP issue?)that can help so that you have a clear road when you do try.
She seemed cheerful and not really bothered in the 25 mins after eating it/the rash appeared, but I can't help but worry. My brain is constantly mulling over death scenarios. I hate this part of parenthood.
Give it a go. Best to way to be sure baby is getting enough iron in their diet as apparently breast milk stops being enough after 6 months.
Even if the pregnancy exacerbates the issue, I'm sure a doctor can recommend some kind of alleviation. Don't let the fear of it keep you guys from trying when/if you want to. Maybe see a doctor beforehand to see if there are any lifestyle changes or medication (BP issue?)that can help so that you have a clear road when you do try.
Does anyone know if a severe allergic reaction can manifest hours after a bit of rash? I've tried searching for ages for some sort of clear answer, but nada. Mia got a bit of a face rash around her mouth tonight after her purees (I suspect it was the blueberries) and now that she's in bed asleep I'm working myself up worrying that she's going to worsen during the night and I won't know bc I'll be asleep, and if it's something like her throat swelling I'd never know bc she wouldn't be able to cry.
She seemed cheerful and not really bothered in the 25 mins after eating it/the rash appeared, but I can't help but worry. My brain is constantly mulling over death scenarios. I hate this part of parenthood.
Rashes after fruit are quite common (our youngest is barred from strawberries!) - but I haven't heard of an allergic reaction coming out hours later. On the assumption that such a reaction would cause great discomfort, I'm sure you'll know about it if it happens! Re. the throat - I'm sure that would be an almost instantaneous reaction, so if plenty of time has passed it's probably just cosmetic.
Steeped in a Sea of Games
Member
I know this isn't any real help to you, but it's this sort of situation that pushed me into staying home with the kids during the week and only working weekends when my wife can watch them. I know that's not an option for everyone, but I feel like daycare is often a trade-off. Kids get more social interaction, but it's pretty much never possible for them to get the same amount of attention they'd get at home.
Maybe he just needs more time to adjust, but I'd see if there's anyone you can talk to at the daycare. They might have some tips or reassurances for you. I'm sure they've seen almost every type of kid come and go from the place.
Steeped in a Sea of Games
Member
Sorry for the double post, but yeah, this is the biggest problem for my wife and I. I work once a week in the evenings and overnights on Friday and Saturday which totally wipe me out having to adjust my sleep schedule like that constantly. As a result, I really don't get a ton of time with my wife. Literally an hour or so before bed each night. Hoping to make up for lost time once the kids hit school age. It really sucks seeing her so little, but luckily we had 9 years together before we had kids, so that helps some.
I'm not going to lie though, this schedule is rough as hell and sometimes I feel like I can't take it, but we've pulled it off so far and my kids are in a pretty good place (even if I'm literally starting to go grey at the fringes).
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Thanks, Browny. I figured that was the case, but once you start thinking about the worst case scenario it's hard to shove it out of your head. She was fine this morning (as expected.
).Funny that fruit sensitivity is so common. Strawberries seem like such a baby staple! Hope your youngest can indulge in other berries, at least.
Advice parent gaf: Just moved, and Halloween has always been a big deal in our house. We decorate, take the kids Trick or treating, the whole nine.
...we have nothing but a bag of candy. No decor, not costumes, and zero knowledge of the new neighborhood. I Kinda wanted to us the trick or treating as an excuse to introduce myself to neighbors, but this move has destroyed me and I'm already disabled. I might have to make the husband take the kids this year.
Anyou advice on how to throw together last minute prep without further killing myself?
...we have nothing but a bag of candy. No decor, not costumes, and zero knowledge of the new neighborhood. I Kinda wanted to us the trick or treating as an excuse to introduce myself to neighbors, but this move has destroyed me and I'm already disabled. I might have to make the husband take the kids this year.
Anyou advice on how to throw together last minute prep without further killing myself?
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Maybe you can make it a game/challenge for the kids? Give each a limited small amount of money, have the husband take them to a Walmart-ish kind of store, set a time limit and turn them lose to pick out stuff to 'make' their costumes. Then at home print a map of the neighborhood for each of them and when they go out see who can cross off the most houses and report back to you on what they're/the people there are like? Free intel + happy kids = profit?
BriareosGAF
Member
Yeah, kid created cardboard box costumes are fun. Get them some tempera paints and some boxes, scissors, away they go.
On the flip side, my wife is desperately trying to finish sewing and construction on the eldest's Rita Skeeter costume after sewing a panel on half backwards last night while tired, creating a magical moebius strip top...
On the flip side, my wife is desperately trying to finish sewing and construction on the eldest's Rita Skeeter costume after sewing a panel on half backwards last night while tired, creating a magical moebius strip top...
That could work. Definitely going to try the Walmart idea. I'll likely just suck it up and go with them for trick or treating.
Since when does it cost money to register kids for public school? I've lived in seven states and never had to pay a fucking per year registration fee. 100 dollars per kid? Wtf? Of course we are right above the cut off, and on top of moving cross fucking country now we have to do this bullshit just so our three kids will get an education? Which I thought was a fucking right not a privilege?
I'm so mad I'm crying right now. I also have to take them all for physicals before they can attend school. Wtf.
Is this the way it works elsewhere too or is it just Illinois?
Edit: and when I was filling out the billions of paperwork, I marked my kids as white (their dad is) and the lady asked if I was their birthmom. I said I'm Native, and I mark white because the kids pass and don't have contact with the tribe much, and she goes 'Native, that's so cool!' :/
I'm so mad I'm crying right now. I also have to take them all for physicals before they can attend school. Wtf.
Is this the way it works elsewhere too or is it just Illinois?
Edit: and when I was filling out the billions of paperwork, I marked my kids as white (their dad is) and the lady asked if I was their birthmom. I said I'm Native, and I mark white because the kids pass and don't have contact with the tribe much, and she goes 'Native, that's so cool!' :/
I'm a bit nervous. I'm 15w3d now. FTM but third pregnancy. So obviously nervous. I just don't feel pregnant. I am also overwhelmed by how many appointments I have. I have five between now and early December.
High risk thyroid specialist
Early GTT
20 week scan
Midwife
Hospital doctor
Though I'm not sure if I need to have my scan done for my midwife appointment. I guess not as it's in two weeks.
High risk thyroid specialist
Early GTT
20 week scan
Midwife
Hospital doctor
Though I'm not sure if I need to have my scan done for my midwife appointment. I guess not as it's in two weeks.
BriareosGAF
Member
I feel you hon, all mine were high risk. Lost the third. Try not to stress to much and relax as much as possible. Here if you need to talk.
In every state I've been (seven states total) thr only immunisation proof I needed was their shot records. They didn't even take them
I had a discussion with my friend about leaving your children at grannies and granddad for a week or so to go on vacation. We discussed this from children who were old enough to understand why mommy and daddy go away.
The argument against was that it is selfish to leave your children to go on vacation and that they need you and they might feel abandoned
The argument for it was that children need parents with a healthy relationship and a vacation with the two of them might support that. And that children learn to be without parents for a while.
Oh and the idea was that it was a seperate vacation from the whole family. So there would be two vacations. One with and one without children
Is it good or bad?
The argument against was that it is selfish to leave your children to go on vacation and that they need you and they might feel abandoned
The argument for it was that children need parents with a healthy relationship and a vacation with the two of them might support that. And that children learn to be without parents for a while.
Oh and the idea was that it was a seperate vacation from the whole family. So there would be two vacations. One with and one without children
Is it good or bad?
Vincent Grayson
Member
I think age matters, but otherwise, it is absolutely fine. You're not abandoning your kids to go take a vacation together, you're giving them quality time with their grandparents. Unless your kids have shitty grandparents, hanging at their house is likely to be fun, as they tend to spoil the kids.
I remember my parents (in hindsight, probably as part of a last ditch effort to not get divorced) going on a cruise for a week when I was maybe 12 or 13. I spent the week with my grandmother and grandfather eating all my favorite things, running around their massive property, going to see movies, renting an SNES and some games, and just generally having a blast.
My kids have gotten the inverse of this, where they go to visit their grandparents for a week or so, giving my wife and I a break while we're just home and still working and such. They always have a good time with that, too.
Skellig Gra
Member
I don't see why this is a bad thing. I mean unless grannie is a child abuser. They get tons of attention from their grandparents and you/your spouse get some time away to improve your own relationship. Once your child is not being breastfed I don't see why you couldn't leave them with a loving family member.
He could just be a big baby, I wouldn't worry too much. One of mine had a huge hematoma due to being basically stuck in the birth canal for a week or two before my c-section, and it was painful as fuck so as long as your not in pain or anything you should be good.
My daughter was born on 22nd of December, so I feel you there (she wasn't due until Feb). We just make sure she has a separate birthday and she gets to pick when the decorations go up We have experience on both counts.
Our youngest, Nick, measured weeks ahead several times. My wife also showed no signs of gestational diabetes, and the baby is healthy and never had a problem with it. She actually went into labor early, but was so early they gave her drugs that stopped it. This was annoying since he was big enough to be in the good range, but since he was so early they said they wanted him to have more time for his organs and whatnot to develop. She was stuck in the hospital for a few days at this point which was unfortunate, blut without incident. When he finally arrived it was at 39 weeks and he was 9 lbs 6 oz. Every checkup since then he's measured tall, chubby, and big head circumference. He was born a big baby and he's still a big baby at almost 9 months. If you have a big baby and are formula feeding be prepared to basically double the expected formula cost. This kid eats a ton.
As for the birthdays, my birthday is January 3rd and my wife's is December 31st so we have Christmas and two birthdays within about a week. It's tight but doable.
My wife is at the same point but just got diagnosed with GD a couple weeks ago (border line case which they then treat as full on GD) and the baby is measuring two to three weeks ahead so she is miserable as hell on the strict-ass diet they put her on. Pretty sure she'll be put in insulin at night as her evening levels (and morning levels) are messed up no matter what she eats.
Testing seven times a day is expensive as hell ($100+ every two weeks) so hopefully insurance will continue to cover some of it.
My mom had a 14lb, 29inch baby. Imagine how scared I was it was genetic lol. All mine were under 9 though, 8 lbs, 7, and 4 for my premie daughter.
modernlifeisANDY
Member
My daughter is five years old, and I love being a dad. My wife wants another kid, but I do not. I love our little family - I love being able to enjoy my life with my wife and daughter, I love being able to have time for my own hobbies, I love being able to spend time with my wife without needing to pay a ton for babysitting. My wife also has a lot of time for her own hobbies and needs outside of parenting. I love my work-life balance and the time that an only child affords me.
My wife wants a second, but a lot of that seems to be jealousy of her friends. Many of them are having second children, and she feels like she is losing touch with friend groups since she no longer has a child at a young age. I can understand this, but I don't feel like this sort of "peer pressure" is a reason to have another child. Part of the problem is that we have been together since high school (going on 17 years now) and so when we got married, we had been together for eight years and didn't question it. The number of children conversation never happened. Not that I think my marriage is in trouble - it's just a factor.
I also lost my dad a few years ago, and it feels strange even thinking about having another kid without him around to meet him/her.
Am I wrong here? I know this was sort of a stream-of-consciousness post but I needed to get it out. Hoping I don't come off as an asshole.
My wife wants a second, but a lot of that seems to be jealousy of her friends. Many of them are having second children, and she feels like she is losing touch with friend groups since she no longer has a child at a young age. I can understand this, but I don't feel like this sort of "peer pressure" is a reason to have another child. Part of the problem is that we have been together since high school (going on 17 years now) and so when we got married, we had been together for eight years and didn't question it. The number of children conversation never happened. Not that I think my marriage is in trouble - it's just a factor.
I also lost my dad a few years ago, and it feels strange even thinking about having another kid without him around to meet him/her.
Am I wrong here? I know this was sort of a stream-of-consciousness post but I needed to get it out. Hoping I don't come off as an asshole.
BriareosGAF
Member
I'm not sure there's a right/wrong here, its how you feel about the situation, and you're considerate enough to step back and think about it. I'm not sure you can make a rational decision though--there is no way to understand how your life will change, for good and bad. We have two children and it's amazing to watch their friendship evolve and change, and at the same time I'm sure we're in for pain as that transforms as the eldest becomes a teenager. The eldest is also old enough now to watch the younger when my wife and I want to do things, but honestly we rarely take advantage of this--we like doing things as a family. We had never considered having only one child, and in hindsight I'm glad we didn't stop at one, we very much enjoy the dynamic, the contrast in their personalities and development. We decided against more than two children for a few reasons:
1) talking to friends with three+ kids, we became aware of how the notion of personal time for the parent becomes impossible--there are few situations where one parent is excited about the prospect of being responsible for all three children, especially if he/she is the primary caregiver
2) we wanted to have a "reasonable" bound on the end of child-rearing given I was 30 and my wife 33 when we had our second child (my mother had me when she was 21!)
3) babies can be hard, and we weren't sure we wanted roll the dice again on getting a difficult baby sleep-cycle/etc., wise; you get that great routine going at 18months or so and disrupting that seemed scary. We got very lucky that both our kids were pretty easy, and even then there were times when you just want to put the baby down and walk into the ocean...
At the same time I'm perfectly cognizant that this is probably just rationalization for some "feeling" we had--maybe that both my wife and I have one sibling, so that's very familiar to us as a family dynamic. We could have afforded more children and maybe we should have and it would have been interesting and fun in some other new and exciting ways, and well feel like depressed empty-nesters when they head off on their adult adventures. But we won't know, and just have to wait for the cycle to come around again and get grand-children. And of course enjoy/taunt our friends who still have younger kids...
I don't think you come off as an asshole at all. Reasonable people, even those who love each other, can disagree. I can't really offer any advice as to how to work it out, but I hope that both of you can come to an agreement.
FWIW, we've only got one child now but plan to try for another once my spouse's current professional development projects end in about a year. We hope to adopt a third at some point after that, but I can't see us going farther. Perhaps fostering or adoption could work in your case as well, allowing you to skip the sleepless nights and daycare costs?
Septimus Prime
Member
I love that stroller thread in OT. I'm determined to slip a video game reference into every post I make in it.
They can't charge you to register. That's a denial of provision of a FAPE (Free and Appropriate Public Education). I don't think even charters can do this. Something is wrong here.
Skellig Gra
Member
lol that is a great thread, its like some people have never left the house before they become an adult.
I'm goin. To admit that I do get a sense of entitlement since becoming a parent. I don't exactly know what it is. It's not crazy wild like I want peo Le to bend over backwards for me. Just extend some courtesy that I would do to others in the same situation - possibly that I may it have thought of before I was a parent.
I think part of it is that when you become a parent a good bulk of your life is now dedicated to another - the sacrifice and compromise you make are pretty great. Maybe it's so great you sort of squeeze out that compromise a little from ther areas.
I dunno.
You don't really need to stock up on that much ahead of time. I think the essentials are:
Wipes, diapers, baby powder, & a changing pad,
A car seat (I like the ones you can carry and snap into a base),
Clothes (including socks, mittens, and hats) & blankets,
A place to sleep, a baby monitor (audio only is fine), & probably some kind of automatic rocker
Baby bottles, formula and/or a breast pump
Having a pacifier or two might be handy as well, but not all babies care for them (ours didn't). Take lots of pictures.
Wipes, diapers, baby powder, & a changing pad,
A car seat (I like the ones you can carry and snap into a base),
Clothes (including socks, mittens, and hats) & blankets,
A place to sleep, a baby monitor (audio only is fine), & probably some kind of automatic rocker
Baby bottles, formula and/or a breast pump
Having a pacifier or two might be handy as well, but not all babies care for them (ours didn't). Take lots of pictures.
Interfectum
Member
Also stock up on patience, sleep and mobile games.
How much fun did everyone else have with finding Child Care?
My wife goes back to work in January just before my daughter turns 1. There is a critical shortage of Child Care in my province.
There are 3 flavors of child care, unlicensed home, licensed home and licensed centres. I've seen a couple of unlicensed home daycares and one of them was just... horrendous. 6 kids cramped in a basement with no open area, pretty much sleeping right on top of each other for nap time and the caregiver was bragging about the extensive menu of bread, toast and french toast because that is about all kids will eat.
There is a registry that has a waiting list of 3 years for infant spots for the centres! I've heard stories that by the time people have gotten a call for their infant spot (6-24 months) they were already in preschool.
I've had moderate luck cold-calling people and found a few promising places that might have a spot opening up soon, but we are probably looking at paying for 6-8 weeks of full time care while my wife is home with our daughter!
Just a rant.
My wife goes back to work in January just before my daughter turns 1. There is a critical shortage of Child Care in my province.
There are 3 flavors of child care, unlicensed home, licensed home and licensed centres. I've seen a couple of unlicensed home daycares and one of them was just... horrendous. 6 kids cramped in a basement with no open area, pretty much sleeping right on top of each other for nap time and the caregiver was bragging about the extensive menu of bread, toast and french toast because that is about all kids will eat.
There is a registry that has a waiting list of 3 years for infant spots for the centres! I've heard stories that by the time people have gotten a call for their infant spot (6-24 months) they were already in preschool.
I've had moderate luck cold-calling people and found a few promising places that might have a spot opening up soon, but we are probably looking at paying for 6-8 weeks of full time care while my wife is home with our daughter!
Just a rant.
BriareosGAF
Member
I don't remember when baths start, but there was a bunch of bits for that... the special seat thing they recline in while you bathe them, the various wash clothes, the little hooded blankets, special mild soaps, including creams for cradle cap, bath toys, etc. Man, I remember cleaning out the little white gunk from their fat folds.
Re: not stocking up, going out to the store to get 'yet another thing' is actually a great excuse to be selfish and get thirty minutes of alone time in that first few hectic months...