Masquerader
Member
Do you want kids? (DavePooBond: how did you decide to have DavePooBondlians?)
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Parody Thread Urges
- Thread starter maxcriden
- Start date
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davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Do you want kids? (Me: I don't want mine, so I'm giving them away)
Do you want kids? (Baby goats: they are too cute for me)
Masquerader
Member
Do you want kids? (Hey: I was merely 'kidding', huehuehue)
Do you want kids? (Well: Do ya, punk?)
Do you want kids? (Warning: Results may vary, kids do not actually classify as kids)
Have YOU been missold kids instead of PPI? You could be entitled to compensation. Call Gladstone Brookes today, to fund our unneeded end-of-advertisement jingles.
Do you want kids? Well, tough poobond! You get nothing.
Do you want kids? (Well: Do ya, punk?)
Do you want kids? (Warning: Results may vary, kids do not actually classify as kids)
Have YOU been missold kids instead of PPI? You could be entitled to compensation. Call Gladstone Brookes today, to fund our unneeded end-of-advertisement jingles.
Do you want kids? Well, tough poobond! You get nothing.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Invetro fertilization should come with a 270 day money back guarantee
Aquamarine
Member
Who else thinks the mods are culling the rebels to solidify their iron grip over the GAF populace?
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Is Canada even a real country
Masquerader
Member
There were maggots just chillin in my fridge...
Man wearing Pokemon gear trying to jump White House Gym Leader's fence
---
Also Arkos, why don't you like Canada? Everyone in it seems so... Happy~
Man wearing Pokemon gear trying to jump White House Gym Leader's fence
---
Also Arkos, why don't you like Canada? Everyone in it seems so... Happy~
Arkos
Nose how to spell and rede to
Real talk? My best friend and his family are from Guelph and I hope to move to Canada one day because I hate hot weather, but it's just too much fun to make fun of your maple syrup covered moose that you roast while tailgating for a Maple Leafs game.
Masquerader
Member
Oh, well. The grass just seems greener on the other side of the ocean to me.
Arkos
Nose how to spell and rede to
I don't follow. Are you Canadian?
Masquerader
Member
No, Irish, in Northern Ireland~! And believe it or not, people over here view Canada are a paradise full of happy people who learn to cycle before they learn to walk. I... Honestly want to go there some day.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
It's the Mineshaft_Gap Thread We Need but Not the One We Deserve |OT| rare meetings with racists and potential death ahoy
Arkos
Nose how to spell and rede to
We shall be roomies when we make our voyage to the great North.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Which is a better place to live: Hell or purgatory
Freaky Fred
Banned
this thread just isn't the same without Brakke and Terry posting 15 times a day
and my inbox is suffering with no one to PM
Wat do ParodyGAF?
and my inbox is suffering with no one to PM
Wat do ParodyGAF?
Arkos
Nose how to spell and rede to
If we can raise enough money by donating to this website then we may be able to get them back sooner
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Post mor!!!
Freaky Fred
Banned
GAF, how can I become a better poster?
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Ghost caught on CCTV breaking glass dildo
Masquerader
Member
I want a bottle. Should I get a stainless steel one, or an AHLOOMINUHM one?
Arkos
Nose how to spell and rede to
Ever heard of an "r"? Do you all have a fucking lisp or something? Maybe it's just your bad teeth getting in the way of pronouncing things. We won the war. We get to decide how things are pronounced. Or should I say, "we get to decide how things ahhhhh pronounced" because that's how you limey fucks would say it.
Masquerader
Member
Technically, Russia won the war. Ahhh. Where do you think pirate dialect came from? We certainly know how to pronounce ARRR. Arr.
Arkos
Nose how to spell and rede to
Well I meant the Revolutionary War, but you do have a point. Fair enough. Or: arrr, ye have a point.
Oh god don't lump me in with them, come on...I try to make my threads interesting and they're not just bloggy or comic book premises
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
Yea, but what are your plans this weekend??Oh god don't lump me in with them, come on...I try to make my threads interesting and they're not just bloggy or comic book premises
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
damn, lol
LOL cold as ice, I genuinely want to know what people are doing this weekend
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
I believe you. No hate intended, just comedy. I've only made two threads and one was a repost.
Prinz Eugn
Member
Coming soon!
salty_Josh
Member
Please note:
Reading this OT will not make you an expert dickswordsman. While this OT attempts to sum up the basics of dickswordsmanship, the many intricacies of handling the dick cannot be taught on paper (or computer screen). Therefore, constant practice is the key to acquiring the skills necessary to even survive (not to mention win) a dick fight. If you are truly interested in learning, find a local Dick gym and leave your training to an expert teacher. Remember things will be different from style to style and school to school and dick to dick some things in this OT may not apply to you. Be sure to only fight people who are using compatible dicks. Never mix a broad dick and a Samurai dick in battle.
A brief warning:
It is said that the greatest warrior is the one who never has to draw his dick-sword. This can mean that a dickswordsman has only himself to compare to, and doesn't need to test himself against an opponent. More practically, if you are in a true dick fight, seriously consider running away. Dick fighting is a good way to get killed, and is very hard to explain to the authorities (hence why duels are illegal). A three inch thrust or slice in your neck/face area is fatal or debilitating, 80% of the time. This means that the most likely outcome of a real sword fight is that the "loser" dies fast, and the "winner" dies slow. If you survive a dick fight without injury, consider yourself lucky, and try to avoid such things in the future. If the unfortunate does happen, and you are hurt, seek medical attention immediately.
1.
Draw your dick before you engage
It takes longer to draw a sword than it does to get hit. On the other hand, if your sword and scabbard are suitable for a quick draw, and you practice, this can be a great surprise attack.
2.
Relax!
It is perfectly understandable to tense up in combat, but you must make every effort to stay calm, keep the dick muscles loose, and regulate your breathing. If you are tight, you cannot act with speed, which can be fatal.
3.
Balance
keep your body balanced so you can strike or parry without being hit. Always have your feet shoulder wide and when you move, move so your legs spread apart. Never have your feet close to each other. Hold your sword so you can handle it with ease. Watch your opponent's movements and learn when he moves in to attack and launch a pre-emptive strike (counter).Be quick.
4.
Assess the situation
Crafty fighters always strive to be aware of their surroundings, their assets and liabilities, and those of their opponent. Ideally, you should take note of the terrain and environment beforehand and, if you can, try to get an idea of how your opponent fights. Is he brave, or cautious? Skilled, or a novice? Everyone has a weakness, for instance, small opponents can frequently be overpowered, tall people have longer reach but often leave their legs exposed.
5.
Engage with care
If you charge in recklessly, especially against a trained fighter, he may just wait and let you impale yourself on his dick By engaging carefully, you are able to maintain control and focus at all times.
6.
Have a strong defence
Missing one block or parry can be fatal, so protect yourself well. Maintain your dick in a position that runs from the bottom of your torso to the top of your head.
7.
Keep your weapon ready
Your dick should be extended a comfortable distance away from your body, and toward your opponent's throat, or perhaps his eye.
8.
Keep your elbows bent, and close to your body
An inexperienced fighter tends to stretch out his arms in order to keep his opponent further off, but this will hurt your ability to thrust and parry quickly. Extend your dick towards your opponent, not your arms.
9.
Measure twice, cut once
Historically, a real sword fight was decided and ended with the first blow struck, and often took less than 30 seconds. Be sure of your attack, for it is likely that if you miss with your first strike, your opponent will take advantage, and end the fight himself with a fatal blow.
10.
Find and maintain a distance based on a balance of your dick and his
If you have a shorter dick, get in close and stay within his guard. If you are using a longer dick, keep your distance. If about the same, stay about where it would only take 1 large step forward to attack. Keep your distance, so as to be able to strike the opponent. Your distance will be very unique because your height, dick length, dick style, and fighting style all affect your proper distance.
11.
Remain calm and confident
Poise can decide a fight as surely as the sword, and is an effective stratagem. If you are nervous or frightened, your opponent may try to take advantage of your lack of confidence and attempt to goad you into making a fatal mistake. Cool warriors tend to make others wary, or even unsettled. You may also choose to show aggressiveness with your dick and intimidate your opponent instead, or even pretend to be a scared dick, in the hope of lulling your enemy into making a fatal error.
12.
Once the fight begins is to find the flow of battle and attempt to control it
If you succeed in finding the flow and controlling it you have a very good chance of almost directly influencing the entire fight directly through you actions. It is a difficult concept to grasp but try the next time you spar with your dick during practice. Find the patterns and flow from one move to the next and try to control your opponent with your dick. It takes many years and lots of practice to accomplish this but if you do this then the battle is already half yours.
13.
Never use unnecessary flourishes
For example do not spin your dick in a circle as this leaves you open to blows. Unless you are duelling a novice, such moves serve no practical purpose. Against a novice however, flourishes can be used only from a distance for intimidation.
Now... now you are ready. Go out with what you have learned and remember today as the day you found what it takes to become a legendary dick-sword fighter.
Reading this OT will not make you an expert dickswordsman. While this OT attempts to sum up the basics of dickswordsmanship, the many intricacies of handling the dick cannot be taught on paper (or computer screen). Therefore, constant practice is the key to acquiring the skills necessary to even survive (not to mention win) a dick fight. If you are truly interested in learning, find a local Dick gym and leave your training to an expert teacher. Remember things will be different from style to style and school to school and dick to dick some things in this OT may not apply to you. Be sure to only fight people who are using compatible dicks. Never mix a broad dick and a Samurai dick in battle.
A brief warning:
It is said that the greatest warrior is the one who never has to draw his dick-sword. This can mean that a dickswordsman has only himself to compare to, and doesn't need to test himself against an opponent. More practically, if you are in a true dick fight, seriously consider running away. Dick fighting is a good way to get killed, and is very hard to explain to the authorities (hence why duels are illegal). A three inch thrust or slice in your neck/face area is fatal or debilitating, 80% of the time. This means that the most likely outcome of a real sword fight is that the "loser" dies fast, and the "winner" dies slow. If you survive a dick fight without injury, consider yourself lucky, and try to avoid such things in the future. If the unfortunate does happen, and you are hurt, seek medical attention immediately.
1.
Draw your dick before you engage
It takes longer to draw a sword than it does to get hit. On the other hand, if your sword and scabbard are suitable for a quick draw, and you practice, this can be a great surprise attack.
2.
Relax!
It is perfectly understandable to tense up in combat, but you must make every effort to stay calm, keep the dick muscles loose, and regulate your breathing. If you are tight, you cannot act with speed, which can be fatal.
3.
Balance
keep your body balanced so you can strike or parry without being hit. Always have your feet shoulder wide and when you move, move so your legs spread apart. Never have your feet close to each other. Hold your sword so you can handle it with ease. Watch your opponent's movements and learn when he moves in to attack and launch a pre-emptive strike (counter).Be quick.
4.
Assess the situation
Crafty fighters always strive to be aware of their surroundings, their assets and liabilities, and those of their opponent. Ideally, you should take note of the terrain and environment beforehand and, if you can, try to get an idea of how your opponent fights. Is he brave, or cautious? Skilled, or a novice? Everyone has a weakness, for instance, small opponents can frequently be overpowered, tall people have longer reach but often leave their legs exposed.
5.
Engage with care
If you charge in recklessly, especially against a trained fighter, he may just wait and let you impale yourself on his dick By engaging carefully, you are able to maintain control and focus at all times.
6.
Have a strong defence
Missing one block or parry can be fatal, so protect yourself well. Maintain your dick in a position that runs from the bottom of your torso to the top of your head.
7.
Keep your weapon ready
Your dick should be extended a comfortable distance away from your body, and toward your opponent's throat, or perhaps his eye.
8.
Keep your elbows bent, and close to your body
An inexperienced fighter tends to stretch out his arms in order to keep his opponent further off, but this will hurt your ability to thrust and parry quickly. Extend your dick towards your opponent, not your arms.
9.
Measure twice, cut once
Historically, a real sword fight was decided and ended with the first blow struck, and often took less than 30 seconds. Be sure of your attack, for it is likely that if you miss with your first strike, your opponent will take advantage, and end the fight himself with a fatal blow.
10.
Find and maintain a distance based on a balance of your dick and his
If you have a shorter dick, get in close and stay within his guard. If you are using a longer dick, keep your distance. If about the same, stay about where it would only take 1 large step forward to attack. Keep your distance, so as to be able to strike the opponent. Your distance will be very unique because your height, dick length, dick style, and fighting style all affect your proper distance.
11.
Remain calm and confident
Poise can decide a fight as surely as the sword, and is an effective stratagem. If you are nervous or frightened, your opponent may try to take advantage of your lack of confidence and attempt to goad you into making a fatal mistake. Cool warriors tend to make others wary, or even unsettled. You may also choose to show aggressiveness with your dick and intimidate your opponent instead, or even pretend to be a scared dick, in the hope of lulling your enemy into making a fatal error.
12.
Once the fight begins is to find the flow of battle and attempt to control it
If you succeed in finding the flow and controlling it you have a very good chance of almost directly influencing the entire fight directly through you actions. It is a difficult concept to grasp but try the next time you spar with your dick during practice. Find the patterns and flow from one move to the next and try to control your opponent with your dick. It takes many years and lots of practice to accomplish this but if you do this then the battle is already half yours.
13.
Never use unnecessary flourishes
For example do not spin your dick in a circle as this leaves you open to blows. Unless you are duelling a novice, such moves serve no practical purpose. Against a novice however, flourishes can be used only from a distance for intimidation.
Now... now you are ready. Go out with what you have learned and remember today as the day you found what it takes to become a legendary dick-sword fighter.
This is the most childish thing I've ever created.
salty_Josh
Member
I'm gonna have my friend put this on 4chan
, where it can be truly appreciated.
Freaky Fred
Banned
really thought that was about actually drawing dicks and got excited about sharing some artwork.
kinda disappointed
Arkos buddy, make a thread
#FreeTerry
#ReleaseTheBrakke
kinda disappointed
Arkos buddy, make a thread
#FreeTerry
#ReleaseTheBrakke
Aquamarine
Member
Who else thinks complaining about banned Parody Thread Urges regulars should be a bannable offense?
#CrushTheRebellion
#CrushTheRebellion
Freaky Fred
Banned
who else thinks that saying what ParodyGAF regulars do for their fallen ParodyGAF regulars should be a bannable offense should be a bannable offense?
Arkos
Nose how to spell and rede to
Lololol me too, and I wish, my thread making privileges are long gone buddy. I had to get a mod to make my Fantasy Football thread for me. We need some other virtuous soul to take up the cause of making a Crude Dick Drawing OT.
In the mean time, here's a quick scene from Game of Thrones though (with crudely drawn dicks, so possibly NSFW - good looking out Fred)
http://i.imgur.com/nW12IGl.jpg
Freaky Fred
Banned
Top of the Page GAF: how do you handle the pressure?
NeoGAF Drawing-a-Dick-A-Day Thread
my first contributions
Napoleon Bonerparte
Cockzilla
NeoGAF Drawing-a-Dick-A-Day Thread
my first contributions
Napoleon Bonerparte
Cockzilla
Arkos
Nose how to spell and rede to
Ceci n'est pas une dick
(crudely drawn dick, possibly NSFW)
(crudely drawn dick, possibly NSFW)
Freaky Fred
Banned
so how 'bout them parody threads?
Masquerader
Member
Ten years ago, FOUND, one of the best TV Shows of all time, was LOST.
- Status