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Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction

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I used to have performance problems thanks to porn...but I made a few rules for myself:

a) no masturbation if I am going to have sex the next (or same) day
b) if I do, no more than 2 times a day
c) when it's "that time" for her, have at it

Once I started following the rules, the sex was more engaging and intense for me.

I still watch porn (kink.com FTW), but I feel like it's a much healthier habit now. So much more free time!
 
S.Dedalus said:
Can't tell if joking....

Males are not the only ones with performance anxiety.... and there's a lot more to it for females than just lying down....

God, please be joking.
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My point was that there's no such thing as a woman unable to "get it up". She can have sex pretty much anytime for as long as she wants.

Obviously she does more than lay there. But she isn't viewed as less of a woman if she doesn't perform in bed like a man is viewed as less of a man if he's impotent.

I see lots of drugs to help men get it up and make it bigger. I don't see too many drugs to help women get more lubricated and get tighter. That is the culture we live in.
 
Soooo...abstaining kills libido (after some time) in some, and too much masturbation gives performance problems?

maybe the "7 day schedule" has credibility?
 
BigDug13 said:
My point was that there's no such thing as a woman unable to "get it up". She can have sex pretty much anytime for as long as she wants.

Obviously she does more than lay there. But she isn't viewed as less of a woman if she doesn't perform in bed like a man is viewed as less of a man if he's impotent.

I see lots of drugs to help men get it up and make it bigger. I don't see too many drugs to help women get more lubricated and get tighter. That is the culture we live in.
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You are a virgin right?
 
BigDug13 said:
My point was that there's no such thing as a woman unable to "get it up". She can have sex pretty much anytime for as long as she wants.

Obviously she does more than lay there. But she isn't viewed as less of a woman if she doesn't perform in bed like a man is viewed as less of a man if he's impotent.

I see lots of drugs to help men get it up and make it bigger. I don't see too many drugs to help women get more lubricated and get tighter. That is the culture we live in.
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This thread keeps taking the most amazing tangents.

BigDug13 obviously has that porn-induced unrealistic expectation that the 'porn pollutes' crowd is always going on about.
 
subversus said:
about what stuff? coffee?
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What's this coffee thing? Will it help. I hate coffee but i will start drinking if I can fix this problem.

Completely pissed. I still got her off in otherwise but I'm disappointed in myself.
 
Truant said:
I've been struggling with this for a while, and just cutting out porn has been a huge help.

Obviously, the situation is made worse if you're like me and have a regular sexual partner that you don't want to let down. If you're a single guy, the problem might not be as apparent.
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Did it really help you by doing that? I think I have a similar problem and it takes me so long I feel bad for my partner sometimes. Other times I'm fine. I might have to cut it out for a while, see if that helps.
 
DoctorWho said:
What's this coffee thing? Will it help. I hate coffee but i will start drinking if I can fix this problem.

Completely pissed. I still got her off in otherwise but I'm disappointed in myself.
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Ignore the coffee thing.

Talk to your partner and explain you need sex without the pressure of performing for a while. If she really craves 'satisfaction' you always have your hands and tongue to dish that out. Make intercourse itself loving and tender. If you go soft inside her, don't sweat it, just keep kissing and enjoying the moment and you'll get hard again. Avoid all fantasy during sex, which is often a crutch used to finish off.

Cut out porn (until you're better) and avoid masturbation. Don't orgasm chase.

And if after a few weeks you find that isnt helping, join us on the 90 days hard reset of no porn, masturbation or orgasm!
 
Suairyu said:
Ignore the coffee thing.

Talk to your partner and explain you need sex without the pressure of performing for a while. If she really craves 'satisfaction' you always have your hands and tongue to dish that out. Make intercourse itself loving and tender. If you go soft inside her, don't sweat it, just keep kissing and enjoying the moment and you'll get hard again. Avoid all fantasy during sex, which is often a crutch used to finish off.

Cut out porn (until you're better) and avoid masturbation. Don't orgasm chase.

And if after a few weeks you find that isnt helping, join us on the 90 days hard reset of no porn, masturbation or orgasm!
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Thanks. Those are sound tips. It was the first time with this girl. I finished her off with my hand and tongue and she was great about it. Part of the problem is that I haven't had sex in a while - that didn't help either. Porn was a crutch in the interim.

Interesting that you mentioned avoiding fantasies. I was trying to use them to help me finish.
 
I haven't been able to get off to porn in a while.

I was in a couple of quick and dirty relationships recently and now watching videos online doesn't really do too much. It's so unsatisfying compared to a real woman and I get into a shit mood because I can't find anything that works. Watching other people have sex kind of just depresses me because I haven't had any in almost a month and I don't know if I will anytime soon.

Pretty much the opposite of this effect.
 
Ok I just dicovered something, maybe a bit OT. I've been in this net caffe for hours now and drank two 7ups, and I really need to piss. Like the worst i've ever held it in before..

But then I got turned on by some picture I saw on gaf, and it totally went away. I opened a tab on porn and I don't even feel I need to piss anymore. Greatest solution ever.

The Secret has been revealed; I'll never have to pee so bad again!
 
Sentry said:
Ok I just dicovered something, maybe a bit OT. I've been in this net caffe for hours now and drank two 7ups, and I really need to piss. Like the worst i've ever held it in before..

But then I got turned on by some picture I saw on gaf, and it totally went away. I opened a tab on porn and I don't even feel I need to piss anymore. Greatest solution ever.

The Secret has been revealed; I'll never have to pee so bad again!
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this is a normal response. if you're going to have sex, the 'i need to pee' thing gets turned off, so that, you know, you complete the important task first. you'll need to pee like a son of a bitch when you lose that erection though.

if you REALLY need to pee, then it won't go away, and you'll have to fight that erection, or do a handstand or pee in the shower or something.
 
Yeah, I just lost it and almost pissed myself. Ughhh they have a bathroom here but I can't just leave my MBP!!

I don't even feel like looking at porn right now but I have a tab I keep switching back and forth too so I don't effin pee in my pants.

PS. I wonder, does the female body work this way too? Too horny=no piss function?
 
Sentry said:
Yeah, I just lost it and almost pissed myself. Ughhh they have a bathroom here but I can't just leave my MBP!!

I don't even feel like looking at porn right now but I have a tab I keep switching back and forth too so I don't effin pee in my pants.

PS. I wonder, does the female body work this way too? Too horny=no piss function?
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holding your pee for too long isn't good for you.

go pee!
 
Am I the only one (well I saw one Gaffer talking about it here) to be only attracted by lesbian porn?! I swear to God, it's the only thing I'm watching and have been watching for years. Anything else: not interested, plus they have to wear lingerie, otherwise it reduces the attraction.

Kinda frustrating when all the porn channels feature 80 % of the time regular male on female stuff, but I have to say (I'm 21 and havent done IT, yet) that I'm kinda worried when I'm gonna have to do it, worried that it's gonna be over real fast.

I read that the average duration was 5 min and a half, kinda what I was thinking about, dont know if it's the same for some of you here, but the second I come, I'm done (hey it rhymes!)

I don't want to keep jerking off, it's like the desire and need to do it just poof vanishes in like a second. So I wonder if it's the same for some of you here, and if you experience the same thing during sex, because I would last 2 min if I ever did it, and couldnt continue.
 
PetriP-TNT said:
You are watching porn in net cafe?

"NO YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG, I JUST DON'T WANT TO PEE"
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:No seriously, I don't watch porn in a net caffe. I only save videos for later offline viewing.
lol.gif


@TPD I'm the opposite, lesbo stuff doesn't turn me on nearly as much as other stuff. And yes, watching porn after you come is just boring/feels weird/not good.
 
BigDug13 said:
I see lots of drugs to help men get it up and make it bigger. I don't see too many drugs to help women get more lubricated and get tighter. That is the culture we live in.
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Idiot. There are plenty of drugs / creams for women who struggle to have sex (usually because of being too tense / not producing enough lubrication).

Just because they don't attract juvenile humour like Viagra doesn't mean they don't exist.
 
lol I mentioned coffee because if the dude wanted to have something like this:

Quitting can therefore be quite challenging. In addition to an alarming temporary drop in libido, some men experience withdrawal symptoms: insomnia, irritability, panic, despair, concentration problems, and even flu-like symptoms.
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it's even better if you throw caffeine in the mix to completely transform into the man on fire.
 
DoctorWho said:
Thanks. Those are sound tips. It was the first time with this girl. I finished her off with my hand and tongue and she was great about it. Part of the problem is that I haven't had sex in a while - that didn't help either. Porn was a crutch in the interim.

Interesting that you mentioned avoiding fantasies. I was trying to use them to help me finish.
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Yeah, fantasies are just the same as porn. You're using the visual part of your brain to arouse yourself, rather than the physical sensations. It's actually the hardest thing about this 90 day thing for me. Controlling the mind's eye is tough.
 
I've just been restricting myself to one porn "session" a week and it's been all systems go in the bedroom. So I don't think you NEED to do the 90 day cold turkey thing, just don't overdo it.
 
Phycotext said:
Privacy shields for wanking... nice!
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lol.gif
Considering a hijabed woman is running the place and can look at whatever is happening on your screen, probably not likely..

Video is too damn slow here anyway, pics ftw.
 
RDreamer said:
Strange. I'll admit I'm probably hopelessly addicted to porn and masturbation (like 3 times per day), and I really need to cut down, but I have no problem whatsoever getting it up with girls. I'm usually at the ready at even a mention of sex with someone. It's kind of crazy. That and I stay hard for long after I'm done with sex.

Though I'm kind of weird and I barely get turned on by porn anymore. I only seem to do it out of habit from boredom when I'm home alone. Sex, however, still turns me on greatly.
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Same here.
 
LakeEarth said:
I've just been restricting myself to one porn "session" a week and it's been all systems go in the bedroom. So I don't think you NEED to do the 90 day cold turkey thing, just don't overdo it.
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I'll start cold turkey and when I feel like things are the way they should be I'll throw in a porn session.
 
Sentry said:
lol.gif
Considering a hijabed woman is running the place and can look at whatever is happening on your screen, probably not likely..

Video is too damn slow here anyway, pics ftw.
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I reckon I just found your solution for a peaceful wank. Bust out a hijab and then bust in a hijab.
 
Suairyu said:
Yeah, fantasies are just the same as porn. You're using the visual part of your brain to arouse yourself, rather than the physical sensations. It's actually the hardest thing about this 90 day thing for me. Controlling the mind's eye is tough.
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don't let people find that out! the people that made that billboard will be trying to climb inside my brain.

wait... hang on, they're doing that already aren't they? never mind then.
 
MagniHarvald said:
Same here.
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then you have nothing to worry about. this sexual dysfunction is really for people who have to keep escalating in order to continue getting aroused, and for people who struggle with 'normal' sex after a while.

that isn't something that's going to happen to everyone. you may have a sex addiction but i wouldn't guess so unless it's negatively effecting your relationships and job, or spiralling out of control.

you have a high libido. if it isn't ruining your life or your love life... then carry on.
 
I understand the concerns of performance problems many people have from fapping too much.

However for me, I have to spill my seed on a pretty regular basis. Preferably with my wife but even through manual methods if necessary. While some of you find yourself with more energy and confidence if you don't release in a while, I found myself more agitated and unfocused. When I don't release in a while, I become less human. I want to hump everything in sight and my thoughts tend to drift on about sex for too long when I should be thinking about more productive things.

Spilling my seed regularly keeps me domesticated.

If you're having performance or energy problems, also check on your diet and your exercise routine. If you're not eating well or you rarely exercise, that's going to affect your overall energy level. Also make sure you get enough sleep. The times I have performance problems in bed (everyone in a LTR or marriage is going to have them at some point), it's usually because I had only been getting 4-6 hours of sleep a night over a period of a week or more. My body was just tired.

Finally, believe it or not, men need some foreplay too. Just because you can get it up quickly with your girlfriend without foreplay doesn't mean you'll be able to sustain it. If you find yourself getting flaccid half-way through your sex session, then try adding more foreplay. Not sure for her, but for YOU. Instead of her just being her birthday suit, have her wear some clothing that gets you going. Take a little extra time fondling the areas of her body you enjoy the most and have her tease and play with your nob before intercourse. All those things will help you sustain because you'll be charged up and focused on her.

If you do those above things, you don't have to abstain from fapping for ridiculously long periods. Obviously if you're tugging your own chain 2-3 times a day, you gotta get that shit under control. But if it's at reasonable levels and you're still having performance problems, then make sure you examine the other areas in your life as well to improve performance and energy. Also it's important for your woman to be a seductress and understand that she needs to prime the pump and not just lay there.
 
I have to wonder if my "porn" watching habits are actually creating the reverse of this. I've been mostly done with actual porn for a while, and now stick to live cam sites, and it really doesn't take much, just the girl taking off her top for me to be into it. So, instead of escalating in porn terms I've gone a bit backwards. So, when I've got a real girl I'm still being aroused by the same stuff that arouses me online. She just has to take off her shirt. Anything more than that and it's above and beyond what I normally get off to.
 
DoctorWho said:
Scratch that. I'm quite tense and irritable this morning.
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I broke down shortly after that last post. I think setting myself a goal of 90 days from the start was too lofty. Now that I lasted six days I think I'll shoot for two weeks. After two weeks I'll go for one month, then six weeks and hopefully that's enough to fix it.
 
Well the thing about women is that they need to relax.
They get anxiety for not being "in the mood" and also having issues such as "Soreness/Swelling", peroids and other related issues.

Isn't it annoying for you to try to get back in and can't because shes sore inside? Females don't like to feel "deficient".
 
i went a few weeks and starting feeling tired all day and kinda depressed. i'm wondering if they are related?
 
I'm going to start today. I knew porn had some effects on the mental. It seems everytime I masturbate and view porn. I seem pissed the fuck off after the fact. Like it feels good but I get pissed after the fact. I get excited and horny over all the woman but yet don't pursue any of them. But when I don't masturbate and view porn for a couple days or weeks. I pursue, talk and flirt with woman more.

I'm going to abstain from masturbating and viewing porn for a week and see if it works. I've done the abstaining before and felt good than when I didn't.
 
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