Lol you are in complete denial if you think the constant attacking of other progressives because they aren't in lockstep with you 100% had no effect
Just look at how hard liberals attacked Bernie supporters and Bernie himself, aka the only democratic candidate who was actually fighting for the economic leftist cause.
I have seen an annoying number of Trump supporters, usually young, white, and in the nerd community, talk about how this election was a repudiation of SJWs and Tumblr and feminists with purple hair. There's no doubt that some of Trump's support came from people who saw him as an antidote to political-correctness. This isn't supposition, plenty of people are happy to tell you this outright.
So yes, annoyance with the far Left was a driving factor in some peoples' decision to vote. It feels tempting to search for some kind of meaning in that, and I have absolutely gotten into fights over allyship and the dogmatism that I have encountered from feminists and anti-racists. And yet...
I have a hard time believing that these people would have been won over by a moderated tone. These are people who are willing to vote for a candidate on the premise that said candidate will hurt the people they dislike. That's a deeply troubled outlook on politics and I find it hard to believe that those people wouldn't have gravitated towards some other authoritarian bent if gamergate or the alt-right or whatever hadn't come along.
I just compared the left's fixation with perfect allies to an ouroboros earlier in this thread, but at the end of the day, if you are willing to vote against someone's rights because they annoyed you, you're a piece of shit. Any Trump voter who voted for Trump to punish people they don't like is a damaged fucking individual, and I don't think we need to be basing our political ideas around what is going to
maybe win over someone that damaged and fickle.
The left needs to cultivate broader empathy. We talk a lot about it, but it's pretty clear that there are some fucked up ideas about who is actually deserving of our empathy. If we can practice what we preach, become more inclusive, become more egalitarian, and focus on raising up
everyone, we'll get more support and more success. It might win over some of these people, but it might only give them fewer examples of "lol crazy feminists" to point to. I don't think winning them over is a priority, instead we should show that we have the courage of our convictions, and that there is a place for all decent people who hope for a better future in our movement.